Текст книги "Being a Jett Girl"

Автор книги: Meghan Quinn

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Chapter Ten

“Wake Me Up”

Jett

Canal Street was lit up with lights and tourists exploring the real city of New Orleans. Palm trees flanked the middle of the street where the trolley breezed through. I loved this city. I loved the richness of it, the tradition, the history and the people. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

I picked at the plate of gumbo that room service brought up to my suite. I wasn’t very hungry. I hadn’t been hungry since I left the club, since I practically gave myself over to Goldie.

She told me her safe word. Hearing her say that one little word nearly gutted me. I always considered myself to be a controlled man able to gauge people’s feelings, especially the women I brought up to the Bourbon Room but Goldie was different. She was a mystery to me most of the time.

She wanted things I couldn’t give her. She wanted a relationship, she wanted someone to hold her and be emotionally there for her but I was too broken after Natasha left me, after she told me I wasn’t good enough.

I’ve worked hard my entire life to be better than my dad, to do good with my money and to give my mom her one wish, to see me settle down with someone, to be taken care of by someone. Knowing that I failed my mom’s one wish was almost debilitating. I thought I found the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with in Natasha but when she told me she wanted more, that I wasn’t good enough for her, I changed. She crushed my dreams, my mom’s dreams and I’ve never been the same since.

I’m a confident man in every aspect of my life besides holding on to a relationship, of being emotionally there for someone because how could I do that if I was so fucked up? All I would do is fuck up whoever was with me and that meant Goldie. I wanted nothing but good things for her. She deserved so much, so damn much.

“Did you really think you could hide forever, dickhead?”

Kace.

I turned around in my chair and saw Kace slip a room key into his pocket. The asshole must have fucked the lady at the front desk at one time or another because there was no way they would have given him a key otherwise.

“What the hell do you want?” I asked as I turned back around to stare down at Canal Street.

Heavy footsteps rang in the air as Kace approached me. He walked around the desk I was sitting at and sat on the sill of the window I was looking out of, blocking my view.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Jett?”

I turned away but Kace stopped my chair.

“Don’t fucking block me out,” Kace said, growing irritated with my child-like behavior.

I ran a hand through my hair as I said, “It’s getting too fucking serious. She wants too much from me.”

“You’re lucky you have an event tonight that’s fucking important because I am inches away from punching that dumb ass head of yours.”

I looked up at Kace, a little shocked. He was pissed…at me.

“Is that right?” I asked as I brushed off my pant leg, trying to keep calm.

“You’re a moron, you know that? You have a woman, waiting back at your club just dying for a little bit of your attention and instead of manning up, you’re hiding out like a fucking vagina stuck in a pair of crusty shit catchers.”

The man was one with words.

“Why do you care so much?”

“Because, if I was in your position, I would be fucking her every night and holding on to her until the morning. I would bury my head in her hair and inhale her sweet scent. I would revel in the way her soft body feels pressed up against mine and I wouldn’t ever let her out on that stage because I would want her to be only for me and me alone.”

My heart fucking seized as my hand reached out for Kace’s shirt when I stood up out of pure blind rage. I pinned him against the window and said, “You have no right to talk about Goldie like that.”

Laughing, Kace shook his head and said, “Why not? You have no claim over her. You treat her like every other girl at the club, you just pay extra attention to her but you have given her no reason to stay, no reason to not stray when she leaves which she will, I guarantee you that. You might have calmed the storm when you gave her a set but without you giving yourself over to her, fully, she’s not going to stay, man.”

I was still gripping his shirt but it was doing nothing, the man was scared of nothing.

I tossed my hand to the side and started pacing the length of the room.

“I can’t, Kace,” I stated softly.

“Don’t let your past dictate how you live your future,” he countered.

“I could say the same about you,” I stated as I put my hands on my hips and looked over at Kace.

“I’m different. I lost my life the same day the man in the bar lost his. I’m done, Jett. You know that. What I care about is seeing you get past your bullshit complex and really living life. One of us has to enjoy life and it sure as hell is not going to be me. Don’t throw away something good because you’re scared.”

“I’m not good enough. I’m not someone she can rely on.”

“That’s fucking donkey piss. You’re the best thing that has happened to that girl. You might be a giant ass but you treat her with respect, you take care of her and honestly, I think you might actually have feelings for her.

Of course I had fucking feelings for her. That was what was terrifying me. I didn’t know how to deal with the feelings that were rolling through me. I was a temperamental prick with the ability to snap at anyone who looked at Goldie. I never was like that, even with Natasha, but there was something about Goldie that had set me off. I meant it when I said I think my mom brought us together but dealing with that revelation was a son of a bitch for me.

“Admit it,” Kace prodded.

“I really hate you right now,” I said in defeat as I sat down in a chair.

Kace threw his head back and laughed. “Dude, you love me and you know it. It’s time to move on, man.”

“It’s dangerous. There are so many repercussions that could happen if I bring her into my life, if I let her in and not just with my fucking black heart but with the people I deal with. They all want a part of me and they will do anything to get it. I don’t think I could handle it if something happened to her.”

“That’s a cop-out. You know just as well as I do that you have the best security team in the damn state and you have me, nothing will happen to her. We won’t allow it, especially you.”

I nodded my head as I pinched the bridge of my nose, deciding what I was going to do.

“Fuck,” I huffed. “I’m a sensitive little bitch.” I laughed to myself as Kace laughed out loud. “Fuck!” I shouted again, not being so eloquent.

“I take it you’re giving in?”

“I don’t fucking want to.”

“But you have no choice.”

“I know.” I looked over at him and the asshat was smirking. I really did hate him. “What if I screw it up, what if I end up hurting her?”

“You’re hurting her more by playing fucking mind games with her. It’s either going to work or it’s not. Might as well give it a chance because I’m sick of dealing with your moody ass and her crocodile tears.”

My head snapped up from the mention of tears. “She cried?”

“Dude, seriously? You fucking left her a shady-ass note and haven’t been back all week. She thinks you’re never coming back, that she did something wrong by asking you to hold her. What kind of dick move is that?”

“The biggest dick move ever,” I confessed. “Like I said, I’m a sensitive little bitch.”

“Well, time to shave your fucking balls, bud, because it’s time to put them on display.”

I nodded my head as I thought about how the hell I was going to talk to Goldie, how I was going to let her into my life without getting burned.

Chapter Eleven

“All In”

Lo

“Can you girls just leave me alone? He’s not coming so there is no use getting ready.”

Babs and Tootse hovered over me, trying to do my hair and makeup for the event I was supposed to go to tonight but I wasn’t in the mood and I wasn’t going anyway. I hadn’t heard from Jett since the morning he left me a note and as far as I knew, he hadn’t returned.

I tried to ignore the fact that once again, I was breaking in half, that he was pushing me away, that even though he tried to change the dynamic between us, he still fell back to his old ways of running away.

I didn’t think about the way that he made me feel when he was around or the way he talked to me in his sultry southern voice or the way his strong hands caressed my body.

I wouldn’t let myself acknowledge the fact that I felt like we were two torn souls brought together to heal each other and there was no way that I was going to allow myself to fall for the man, no way in fucking hell even though the pull between us was so strong that I was drowning in him.

Too bad I was only putting on a front because I did all of those things, every minute of the day he was on my mind. I hated it, I hated that I’ve become so dependent on the man, that the happiness of my day revolved around him.

“You never know, Lo, he might show up,” Tootse said as she wrapped my hair up into a ballerina bun on the top of my head.

“You know I love you, Tootse, but you can seriously be delusional sometimes.” Babs came at me with some mascara but I swatted her hand away. “Please, just leave me alone.”

“No, you’re done sulking. If you’re not going out with Jett tonight then you’re going to go out with us. We’re all going to a bar a couple of blocks away. We have the night off and we’re going to take advantage of it.”

“I don’t feel like going out.” I pouted as Babs attacked my lashes. She didn’t apply much makeup, kept me real natural which was nice because almost every night of my life since I could remember I was always layering on the makeup. It was nice to feel fresh for once.

“Lo, I hate seeing you like this,” Tootse said as she sat down next to me on the bed, my hair pinned and ready to go. “I know it hurts but it’s who he is.”

“I know,” I said defeated as Babs finished up. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me and I keep telling myself that but when I’m with him, I feel different. I feel like our souls were made for each other, you know? Like we were brought together for a reason.”

Babs and Tootse exchanged glances that told me I was the delusional one and I might just be. I knew Jett’s rules going in, to signing a contract with the Lafayette Club but after he offered me a set I just thought things were going to be different, that maybe he would cross that line, go the extra step and fully connect with me, not just physically.

Even though I had the inkling that Jett wasn’t going to show up for tonight, I still went to see Miss Mary and learned everything I possibly could from her in the last couple of days. I wanted to make sure that I was trained, that I was ready and on point if I was called up to bat, if Jett wasn’t ashamed to be with me.

That’s what it seemed like, like he was so ashamed of having me on his arm that he only knew to run away so he didn’t have to deal with breaking my heart. He liked me when my legs were spread, behind the doors of the Bourbon Room but that was it. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what I was getting myself into, I just wish he didn’t lead me on.

Was he leading me on? Maybe I was looking too much into everything? Maybe he really just considered me to be another Jett Girl and was getting his fill. That didn’t explain why he wasn’t with the other girls though, or why he was so protective, why he didn’t want my persona to be revealed.

Fuck, the man was infuriating. One minute I’m flying on cloud nine with my pussy flapping in the breeze waving at all the unicorns and kitties in my dream land and then the next moment, I’m lying low in a gutter full of dragon shit wondering where I went wrong. I liked roller coasters but this was one ride that I was starting to get sick of.

“Are you going to put your dress on?” Tootse asked as we all looked at the hanger that was attached to the top of my bathroom door.

The dress was a pewter gray color made of brocade fabric that was draped to be skin tight on the body and drape loosely past the hips. The top was a classy V-neck but gave a little bit of a show and there was a slit on the side that reached the bottom of my thigh. It looked dynamite on me but I wasn’t about to put it on, not when I wasn’t going anywhere.

“No, I don’t even know why I let you put on this stupid makeup in the first place.” I went to rub it off but Babs grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes.

She was about to say something to me when someone interrupted her.

“I can take it from here, girls,” came the southern voice that haunted my dreams.

In tandem, we all turned our heads and saw Jett standing in the doorway, wearing a black tuxedo, black shirt and black bow tie. My heart beat rapidly in my chest from just the sight of him but with the way he was standing with pure confidence and smoldering eyes, I was about ready to pass out.

He had a little box tucked in his hand as he walked forward with enough swagger to make a woman weak in the damn knees.

Tootse and Babs released me and quickly walked out of the room.

“Shut the door, please,” Jett asked, not taking his eyes off me.

His gaze was intimidating, almost too much to handle. The man was a cocky son of a bitch but how could he not be with a strong jaw like his and a stance that just screamed I know how to fuck your clit right off. And he did, multiple times.

Feeling uneasy in my silk robe and the way his eyes were undressing me, I pulled the ends of my robe together and looked up at him with as much confidence as possible.

“What are you doing here?”

Without saying a word, Jett grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my bed. If I wasn’t so far gone from the way he looked at me, I would have resisted but I was weak, I was pathetic and I craved him. I craved him so damn bad that I wanted to cry. I hated that he had such power over me, that he could turn me into a ball of mush with just a look.

He placed his hand on my cheek and looked me square in the eyes. “My little one, I’m so sorry that I left you wondering these past couple of days…”

“That’s right, you’re sorry,” I said as I pulled away, getting a little bit of my bravado back. “Do you think it’s fun for me waiting for you, wondering where the hell you are or when you’re coming back?” I held up my hand before he could talk. “I know we’re not in a relationship and I get that, but I’m sorry I just can’t sit around after you fuck the ever living hell out of me and then be cool with your disappearance. I worry about you, Jett, I fucking care about you and I think it’s real shitty the way you’ve been treating me. You either like me or you don’t, I can’t do any more of this wafting around, as if the feelings we have for each other, and I know you have feelings, don’t matter. I mean, fuck, Jett. You’re killing me! I feel like I’m bleeding when you leave without a word, when you push me away. It fucking guts me.”

My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath from the mini rant I went on. When I looked back up at Jett, his brow was furrowed and the look of disappointment crossed his features.

“Goldie, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m a…uh…” He ran his hand through his hair and then turned his back on me.

He’s a what? I wanted to shake him and scream at him to finish his sentence but from the way his shoulders sank and the way his back tensed, I knew whatever he was going to say was going to be extremely difficult for him so I pulled back my anger.

Instead of being a giant dick and walking out, like I should, I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his back, giving him comfort. He exhaled sharply and then turned in my grasp. His arms came around my back and pulled me in closer to his chest as he leaned his head down and kissed the side of my temple.

His lips caressed my ear as he said, “I’m a broken man, little one. I was fucked over by someone who I gave my heart to and she stomped on it, broke it in half. She made me feel worthless, used and I haven’t been able to get over the words she spouted off as she walked out of my house and out of my life.”

“What did she say?” I asked barely above a whisper. I didn’t want to scare him away because for the first time since he told me about his mom, he was actually opening up.

Jett shook his head, denying me. Instead of pushing him, I instead rubbed his chest with the palm of my hand and kissed him on the jaw. His body relaxed under my arms and he drew me in even closer.

“You’re too good for me, Goldie, but to hell if I can let you go.”

“I don’t know what that is supposed to mean,” I answered honestly.

He pulled away and lifted his hand that was holding a long, flat jewelry box.

“This is for you, my little one.” The way he said my name with such sincerity had my stomach flipping in excitement.

I looked at the box and then back up at him with a smirk. “This isn’t going to be some Pretty Woman moment where I reach into the box and you snap it on my fingers, is it? Because I have to tell you, you will be sorely disappointed. I have cat-like reflexes.”

A small grin peeked at the corner of Jett’s mouth as he said, “No, it’s not.”

With that, he opened the box and revealed a very thin chained necklace made of white gold and in the middle had a very small round gem pendant with a purple center. It was gorgeous.

Not skipping a beat, he pulled the necklace out of the box and unlocked the ends. “May I?” he asked, hovering over my body.

“Yes,” I said breathlessly as I turned around and he brought the necklace over my head and rested it on my collarbones as he put it on.

Once the necklace was fastened, the pendant settled right where my neck met my chest and the chain grazed the top of my collarbones. It was borderline choker status but not quite. My hand landed on the pendant as I turned to look at him.

“It’s gorgeous, Jett. Thank you so much.”

“Do you know what this is?” he asked as his fingers grazed mine so we were both touching the pendant.

“No.”

Jett took a deep breath and said, “In my world, a symbol like this would mean that you’re mine, that by wearing this necklace day in and day out, you are letting everyone know that you are taken, that you belong to me and only me.”

Realization set in as my mouth fell open and I felt the necklace again.

“Is this a…collar?” I asked, almost flabbergasted from the gesture.

Looking a little sheepish, Jett nodded his head as he gripped the back of his neck with his one hand. The man was nervous, actually nervous. Fuck, I could not deny myself any longer.

With one quick jump, I straddled him as he stood, grabbed his head in my hands and placed my lips on his. I didn’t take it slow at all, no, I drove my tongue into his mouth, demanding that he reciprocate and he did, he did with a groan.

When I pulled away, I searched his face as I said, “What does this mean, Jett?”

He stroked my face with his thumb as he held me up with the other hand. “This means I want to try, that I want to uh…be exclusive.”

“Like a girlfriend?” I singsonged and teased.

He cleared his throat and said, “Something like that.”

I hopped off him and placed my hands on my hip. “Something like that? No, that’s not good enough. I either am or I’m not. I’m sick of playing games with you, Jett. You said early on that you didn’t play games and you know what, neither do I. I’m going to sound like a broken record of a boy band but you need to quit playing games with my heart. I don’t deserve to be fucked one night and then dropped off the face of the planet the next. I’m dead serious when I say it’s all or nothing with me. I’m done with this guessing game.”

Holy shit, I was quaking in my boots. Where the hell did that come from? Even though I was surprised with myself, I realized that I meant it. I truly meant what I said. I was sick of being played with. I was at a breaking point and he either wanted me in his life, fully, or he wanted me to leave forever. I couldn’t take this up and down shit anymore.

“Well…” I asked while crossing my hands over my chest.

He looked at me as his hand held on to the back of his head. His pose was sexy as hell and I knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose it was just Jett being Jett but fucking hell all I wanted to do was rip his clothes off and take him. Forget about the clothes, I just needed to unzip his pants, I was that fucking ready.

He released his hand and stepped forward. He separated my arms and grabbed a hold of my hands. He brought them up to his lips and he lightly kissed them as he looked me directly in the eyes, stealing my heart, looking into my soul.

“You’re mine, Goldie. Are titles that important?”

Were they? Not really but I wanted to hear him say it. I needed to hear him say it but I knew at this moment, I shouldn’t push my luck. Even though I was dying to hear the words come out of his mouth, he was opening himself up to me and letting me in. I needed to be happy with baby steps.

“They are to me but I get it, Jett. I get you’re scared.” I stood up and pressed another kiss to his jaw as my hand caressed his cheek. “I just need to know that since I’m yours, that makes you mine as well. I need to hear you say it.”

He nodded his head and without skipping a beat, he said, “I’m yours, Goldie, all fucking yours.”

Elation throbbed through my veins as he grabbed the sides of my head and brought his lips down onto mine. His hands ran from my cheeks down to my neck where he caressed my necklace as his mouth explored mine. Waves of nerves and new found feelings rushed through me as he pressed his body against mine, signaling to me that he meant what he said. He was mine.

He groaned and pulled away, leaving me breathless and wanting more. He smiled, fucking smiled down at me and I felt my heart flip upside down from the endearing look on his face.

“As much as I would love to pull that robe off you and expose that beautiful skin of yours, we need to get you dressed because we have an event to get to.”

My eyes lit up from the mention of him taking me out.

“We’re still going to go?”

“Of course, why do you think I’m dressed like this?”

“To make my clit pop off?”

Jett shook his head as a small smirk crossed his face.

“Oh shit, sorry.” I covered my mouth and took a deep breath as I tried to regain myself. “I promise I will be on my best behavior tonight. I’ve been working with Miss Mary all week to get polished for tonight. You know, in case you did show up.”

“I was going to show up.”

“I had my second thoughts,” I stated as I looked away.

Jett grabbed my chin and made me look him in the eyes. “Listen to me closely, little one. No matter what happens, no matter what comes between us, I will always be there for you. You will always be able to count on me and I don’t want you thinking any differently, okay?”

I nodded my head as he lightly kissed my lips.

His hands traveled down to the waist of my robe and untied the tie, revealing my strapless bra and thong.

His gaze wandered down to my flat stomach—thank you Kace—and nodded in appreciation.

“You’re exquisite, little one.” He frowned as he took in everything. “Where is your gold lingerie? Were you that mad at me to deprive me of such a thing?”

I looked at him confused. “What are you talking about? I never got gold lingerie.”

His head snapped up as he looked over to my closet. “You mean to tell me, you never got any?”

“No. Was I supposed to?”

Jett made an indescribable sound as he reached into his pocket and started typing something out on his phone. When he was done, he looked back up at me and then reached for the dress that was behind me on the bathroom door.

“Get dressed, little one. We have a long night ahead of us.”

“How is it going to end?” I asked as I grabbed on to his lapels and leaned into him.

“I think you know,” he said as he leaned down and played with my necklace. “I can’t tell you how much pride runs through my bones seeing you wear my collar. It makes me want to fuck you so hard that you remember who owns you.”

“I don’t need you to fuck me to know who owns me, Jett. You’ve owned me since the first day at Kitten’s Castle when you ordered your drink with that sultry southern voice of yours.”

I pulled away and walked toward the bathroom to put my dress on. As I walked away, I heard Jett faintly say, “You’ve owned me since the first day I saw you at the cemetery.”

When I turned to ask him if I heard him right, I saw him looking at one of my drawings of his mother’s grave and decided to let it go. He had enough for tonight. I didn’t want to push him any further. I was content with our progress.