Текст книги "Repentance: The Story of Kace Haywood"

Автор книги: Meghan Quinn

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Chapter Twenty Six

My past…

The melodrama between Jett and Goldie was really starting to get on my nerves. Jett was so fucking in love, but he had no clue how to handle his feelings. Instead of talking to Goldie like a normal boyfriend would, he tried to protect her from harm, but all that had led to was miscommunication and a frustrated Goldie.

The feud between Jett and his father had gotten out of hand to the point that I was afraid it was going to destroy my best friend and everything he’d ever worked for. That was why I found myself standing outside of Goldie’s room, about to break her door down with my knocking. I would do anything for Jett, and if that meant inserting myself in the middle of his relationship, then I would.

Without her permission, I blew through her door. The shocked look on Goldie’s face was priceless.

“What the hell?” she shouted.

“Are you seriously just waking up?” I asked, taking in her position on the bed.

“Are you seriously barging into my room again? For the love of God, get a hobby.”

Sassy fucking woman. “It’s noon and you’re not answering your phone,” I stated, pointing out why Jett had panicked and made me check on Goldie.

She was living in the Lafayette Club with Jett, diving head-first into their relationship until Leo, Rex’s father, threatened the safety of Goldie, making sure to point out he knew Goldie was Jett’s crutch. Jett had made it his mission to make it look like he’d cut all ties with her. That was why she was staying with Diego and helping him out with some of the paintings in his club. It was a temporary solution, but it was putting a strain on their relationship.

“It’s noon?” she asked. “God, that phone sex must have really taken it out of me.”

Even though Goldie was my best friend’s girl, I still couldn’t help the way she made me feel, like the dark life I was living had some ray of hope. She wanted to be friends, but I wanted to stay as far away as possible because hearing about her having phone sex with my best friend only tightened my heart and irritated me.

She scanned my body and saw the bandage wrapped around my arm. Thanks to Jett’s dad and his take-no-prisoners attitude, I was nursing a gun wound.

She stumbled out of bed, so off balance she flew forward, but I caught her before she face-planted into my sternum. Wincing from the pain, I steadied her.

“God, I’m sorry.” She straightened up. “Are you okay?” she asked while eyeing my bandage.

“Just a scratch,” I replied, not wanting to draw attention to me. “How come you’re not answering your phone?”

“Uh, just a scratch? A fucking bullet went through your skin.”

“Why aren’t you answering your phone?” I ignored her, knowing I was pushing her buttons.

Frustrated, she threw her hands up in surrender and grabbed her cell.

She looked at it and pointed the screen at me. “It’s dead. I guess I didn’t plug it in last night.” She plugged it in quickly and then turned back toward me. “Why? Do you have a secret you have to tell me? Did you finally lose your virginity last night, and you want to talk about it?”

“Cute,” I said while blowing out a long breath. “Jett was just trying to—”

Before I could finish my sentence, a whirlwind of black hair and caramel skin stormed into the room, running directly into my back.

“Goldie, did you see—” The woman stopped in place when she slammed into me. She looked up at me as I turned around to see who had just barged in. Her bright green eyes widened at the sight of me. “Oh my God, who’s the Adonis?”

The woman standing in front of me was every man’s wet dream. Her body was toned from her long legs to her shapely ass to her mouthwatering breasts, which were on display in the form-fitting top she was wearing. Even though she was gorgeous, probably the most fucking gorgeous woman I’d ever seen, it wasn’t her exterior that was making my heart pound a mile a minute. It was the way she looked deep into my eyes. It was stupid to think something so deep about someone I had just glanced at, but in that moment, I knew the woman in front of me saw right into my soul. She looked past all my indiscretions and saw me for who I was. The realization hit me like a pile of bricks and a small smile twitched at the corner of my lips. I couldn’t help but smile. This whirlwind took my fucking breath away.

I knew she was feeling the same way about me by the way she looked into my eyes, the way she licked her lips and perused my body. I didn’t believe in love at first sight—I thought it was a notion for daydreamers and romantics—but I was at least believing in lust at first sight because I knew I wanted this woman. I needed her. She had a cure for the pain coursing through me. I could feel the pull. She was going to be dangerous to my well-being.

The heat in the room turned up dramatically as we looked at each other, not saying anything.

Goldie cleared my throat and said, “Uh, hello. You can eye-fuck each other later. Why are you both here?”

Ignoring Goldie, I introduced myself. “Kace,” I said while holding out my hand to her.

“Lyla,” she said back, placing her small hand in mine.

I held on to her hand as our connection grew deeper. Too bad the attention-grabbing Goldie was standing a few feet away.

“Oh, so you just give her your name as if it’s nothing, but I had to agree to be a part of your little gentleman’s club world before you introduced yourself to me?” It was true, she been allowed to know me until after she’d agreed upon coming onboard. It was just a form of torture that I took pleasure in, especially with a mouthy one like Goldie.

Keeping my eyes on Lyla, I answered, “It’s not my club.”

Growing more frustrated by the minute, Goldie broke the electric pull between Lyla and me by poking Lyla in the side. “Why the hell are you here?”

Slowly turning away from me, she held out a magazine to Goldie. “Just delivering the news.”

Fuck!

I quickly reached for the magazine, but Goldie’s little paws were quicker than mine, and she snatched the magazine from Lyla before I could.

“Give me that,” I said sternly.

“What are you going to do about it?” she asked as she jumped up on her bed, distancing herself from me.

Not wanting to play her games, I walked over to her, grabbed both her legs, and pulled them out from under her, making her fall ass first onto the mattress. I grabbed the magazine from her, rolled it up, and stuffed it in the back of my jeans.

“Hey, that’s mine!” she said while trying to regain her balance.

“Call Jett,” I said to Goldie, and then I eyed Lyla up and down and said, “Let her call Jett.”

“Give me your number, and I’ll keep my mouth shut.” Her gaze spoke future promises if I did.

“Say nothing, and I’ll think about giving it to you,” I teased, wondering who the fuck the man was who was living in my skin right now.

“Good enough for me,” Lyla responded as she followed me out of Goldie’s room.

“Traitor!” Goldie shouted as I shut her door.

Lyla walked in front of me as we descended the stairs. The minute we exited the back door, the thick Louisiana air hit me hard. Lyla stopped at the edge of the sidewalk, her hands in her back pockets, and spun around to face me. Her breasts were propped up from the position of her hands, making it impossible to look away.

“Do you have any plans?” Lyla asked, looking confident and sexy.

“No,” I responded, running my hand through my hair.

“Treat me to lunch?”

“That’s awfully presumptuous of you to think I would buy you lunch.”

She gave me the once-over, a smirk crossing her lips. “By the way you eye-fucked me upstairs, pretty sure you’ll be buying me lunch. Let’s go, beefcake. I’m hungry.”

Without me agreeing to her terms, she grabbed my hand and started walking me toward Jackson Square. I should have known Lyla would be trouble. She was friends with Goldie, and right now, it was looking like Lyla was more of a sassy counterpart than Goldie.

If that was the case, I was in for a world of trouble.

***

I sat back in my chair at the café and studied Lyla as she placed some sugar in her tea. She stirred the straw in her cup and her eyes shone bright. She leaned forward, her legs crossed under the table, her toe dancing intimately with my knee, letting me know she was close enough that if I wanted to make a scene, I could grab her from across the table and pull her onto my lap.

“Tell me, Kace, what’s your story.”

“Not much of a story to tell,” I responded vaguely. I didn’t know this woman. Therefore I wasn’t about to tell her about my life, especially given my horrid past.

“Enlighten me,” she smiled.

“Tell me about your life first,” I countered.

Her smile turned into a knowing smirk. “All right. No questions about the past.”

From her brush-off, I could tell she was hiding something as well, but I wasn’t about to pressure her to tell me because I’d just gotten a free pass. I wasn’t about to have it taken away.

“Fine with me,” I responded as we came to a standoff.

Our waitress brought over our food, replenished our drinks, and then took off. Lyla got a shrimp po’boy, same as me. I was impressed with her candidness about eating in front of a guy, ordering a sandwich just as big as mine. Most women I ate with were dainty with their meals, but not Lyla. I surveyed her as she picked up the loaded sandwich and took a giant bite out of it.You would think I’d have gotten sick of the food in New Orleans, but that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t get enough of the traditional cuisine. When I was in a good mood to appreciate things, I knew when I was fortunate enough to experience some good cooking.

“All right, so no past questions. Then tell me, what do you like to do on a typical Saturday?”

I took another bite of my sandwich and then wiped my mouth with a paper napkin that shredded under my sauce-coated fingers. “Well, when I’m not trying to wrangle up your friend at the club, or preparing for a presentation in the Toulouse Room, I like to spend time in the gym.” It was an honest answer. Wasting away my life in my room didn’t seem like something she would have liked to hear, and for some reason, I felt like trying to impress this woman.

“Workout? Seriously? You don’t have to tell me you work out. I can tell.”

“Ah, so you’ve been checking me out.” I smirked at her.

“It’s hard not to when I have fear that one of your muscles will poke me in the eye while we’re eating.”

“You would only be so lucky if my muscle poked you in the eye.”

Lyla eyed me and said, “Are you referring to your penis?”

I almost choked on my sandwich from her brazenness and grabbed my water to help the spurt of coughing that attacked me. I should have expected her to say something so crass. She did hang out with Goldie.

“You always this forward?”

“Yeah. Do you have a problem with it?” she asked as she took a giant bite of her sandwich.

“Nope, just want to know what to expect.”

She shook her head at me and leaned over to pat my arm. “Sorry to say, Kace, but you’re never going to be fully prepared when hanging out with me. I’m a loose cannon.”

“Fair enough,” I said, leaning back in my chair.

She continued to eat her sandwich in silence, devouring it quicker than me. She licked her fingers, showing me exactly what she could do with those gorgeous lips. I wondered what it would feel like to own those lips, to have them on my body, to feel them against mine.

I adjusted in my seat as my thoughts turned dirty.

“You have that glazed-over look. What are you thinking about?” she asked, tossing her napkin on her plate.

“What your lips would feel like on my body,” I answered honestly.

Her eyebrow rose. “And you think I’m forward?”

“Just evening the playing field, babe.”

“Fair enough. Tell me, do you believe in ghosts?”

I could tell her question wasn’t complicated, but for me, it was a loaded answer. I did believe in ghosts because right now, I felt like a walking ghost in the streets of New Orleans.“I do,” I said, keeping it short and simple. “Do you?”

 “I think there is this whole other world we don’t know about, that we won’t know about until we breathe our last breath. A place where we can make up for what we’ve done in life, a place where everyone gets along and where your biggest concern is who are we going to spook that night.”

“Who would you spook?” I asked, wondering who she would want to freak out in the mortal world.

“Isn’t it obvious? I would haunt the fuck out of Goldie. She is an easy target. It would be too much fun to freak her out.”

I laughed, a foreign noise to me, but the image of Goldie freaking out from Lyla’s ghost was too comical. Goldie would be an easy target, hands down.

“Damn, I might have to join you on that one.”

“All right, shark diving, skydiving, or bungee jumping?”

A lightness ran through me as I realized I was enjoying my lunch with Lyla more than I’d expected. Yes, I was attracted to her, like I was desperate to be inside of her. I thought she was so beautiful, but as I sat here in the café with zydeco music playing in the background, staring at her exotic face, I felt euphoric from her company. I allowed myself to engage in the feeling. It was rare for me, but I allowed it this day.

“Not much of a swimmer. I’ve been parachuting, which was fun, but bungee jumping is more of a thrill.”

“Sign me up for swimming with the sharks. Those beasts are just some toothy assholes who act like they own the water. I would show them a thing or two.”

I believed her. “You’ve heard of shark attacks, right?”

“Eh, not scared. A little punch to the schnoz, and those fuckers would be gone in two seconds.”

“Where the hell are you getting your information?” I asked. “You know you have to avoid their mouths to get to their nose.”

“You would be surprised by my accuracy,” she responded nonchalantly. “Sweet tooth or savory?”

“Do vegetables count?” I asked.

“Oh Christ, don’t tell me you’re one of those neurotic eaters. Is that why you’re nursing that sandwich? Just eat it. Your figure will be fine.”

“I’m fucking with you,” I laughed. “What do you think I am, sweet or savory?”

Lyla studied me for a second before answering. “I would say savory. You look like a hard liquor kind of guy who enjoys a beer every once in a while, but I think you would grab a chip before a cookie. Although, I would have really hoped for you to be a sweet person.”

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“Because I have a sweet pussy.”

I shook my head at her. “How would you know?”

“I’ve been told. Plus, I’ve heard that whatever you crave is the opposite of what you are. So, I wish you liked sweet because I like salty.” She winked at me, and I about sprung out of my fucking jeans.

Clearing my throat, I played with my water glass while looking at her from under my lashes. “I think your theory might be wrong.”

“Only one way to find out,” she said while licking her lips. “But we have time to do that. I want to know, what is your favorite Disney movie?”

The fact that she was able to change the subject so quickly from sex to Disney was slightly disturbing, but I went with it. “Beauty and the Beast,” I said, not skipping a beat.

Lyla genuinely looked shocked. “Seriously? Wow, I never would have guessed that.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, I would have expected a burly man like you to have picked something like The Lion King or Aladdin, but Beauty and the Beast really surprises me.”

“It’s a classic love story of looking past the outer beauty and into the person’s soul.”

She sat there silent for a second and then crossed her legs, a position I would never dare attempt.

She tilted her head to the side. “Well, fuck, I’m crushing pretty hard on you right now, Kace.”

The feeling was fucking mutual. Ignoring her confession, I asked, “What’s your favorite Disney movie?”

“The Emperor’s New Groove,” she answered without skipping a beat.

“What’s that?” I asked, not familiar with the movie.

“Are you kidding me?” she shouted while placing her hands on the table. “You can’t be serious.”

“Never heard of it.”

Lyla shook her head at me in disappointment and raised her hand. “Check please!” She stood up, grabbed me, and said, “We’re going to remedy that.”

The waitress brought us our check. I laid some cash on the table and allowed Lyla to pull me to my feet. She escorted me out of the café toward Bourbon Street.

“Where are we going?” I asked, letting this feisty woman drag me around.

“My place. You have a movie to watch.”

She linked her arm through mine and leaned into me as we walked to her apartment. Her hair swayed with her steps, brushing against me, sending the subtle scent of vanilla my way. I was starting to become addicted to everything about this woman, from her brash attitude, to her exquisite body, to her sweetness. It scared the fuck out of me.

***

“You are such a Kronk!” Lyla protested, referring to the dumb but muscular character in The Emperor’s New Groove. The movie credits were scrolling across the screen as we sat on Lyla’s couch, talking about the movie. It had been funny.

“I am not Kronk,” I countered.

“You’re so Kronk. How can you deny that?”

“If I’m Kronk, then you’re Yzma,” I replied, referring to the villain in the movie who was a crotchety old hag looking to take over the empire. I had to admit she’d been the most entertaining villain I’d ever watched.

“Oh, fuck you.” Lyla laughed, throwing her head back. “I am not Yzma.”

“If I’m Kronk, then you’re most definitely Yzma.”

“Fine, you can be the quiet hero, Pacho.”

A quiet hero was most definitely not me. Maybe I was actually the male version of Yzma, with evil running through my blood.

“Hey,” Lyla said. “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere,” I lied.

Lyla eyed me suspiciously. “So, be honest. What did you think?”

“Beauty and the Beast is better.” I smiled.

“Horse shit!” Lyla said while slapping the couch. “That is complete horseshit. The Emperor’s New Groove is by far superior.”

“Clearly you lack good taste in movies,” I joked.

“Wow, way to nail a girl where it hurts,” she teased.

“Believe me, you would know if I nailed you.”

Lyla put her arm across the back of the couch, scooting even closer to me. “Is that right?”

Her voice was seductive, practically whispering in my ear, enticing me to lean in to her.

“It is,” I responded, not really sure why I wasn’t pulling away.

She stroked my forearm. I looked down at her fingers running across my tan arms, wondering where she planned on taking it, praying she would move her fingers across my entire body.

“There is something about you, Kace, something different, something dark that kind of scares me but also intrigues me. You’re not like any other man I’ve come across.”

“That’s because most of the men you come across are foaming at the mouth, just waiting for you to strip naked,” I replied, referring to her job at Kitten’s Castle, Goldie’s old workplace.

“That’s not it. You’re honest, you speak your mind, and you know how far you can go, how far you want to go.”

“You act like you know me,” I stated, needing to feed off her energy.

“I don’t.” She shook her head. “But I want to get to know you. You fascinate me.”

The comfort she was giving me was overwhelming. I wanted to confide in her. I wanted to fucking rip my heart out, lay it on a platter, and let her watch it bleed. I wanted her to know all my sins, but the thought of her not understanding me, not getting my situation, was too overpowering. This afternoon had been one of the best I’d had in a really long time, and if I ever let her in, if I ever let her see my bleeding heart and she didn’t accept me, she would wreck me. There would be no recovering from that.

So instead of sticking around, I said, “I should probably get going.”

The hurt look on her face let me know I’d insulted her after her confession. Guilt washed through me but it was better this way, better to cut her loose before anything serious happened between us, before she could reject me.

“Thanks for the movie,” I said awkwardly as I got up.

As I moved toward the door, I heard Lyla’s feet pad across the uneven hardwood floors. Her heat pulled at me, practically tore me in the other direction, but I denied myself the pleasure of turning around. I couldn’t. I couldn’t see her hurt eyes again.

“Wait,” Lyla said, grabbing my hand. She pulled me around and shoved me up against the door. She stood on her toes and leaned into me, still holding my hand around her hips. “I don’t get you, Kace. I don’t understand what has happened to you in the past that has made you so quiet, so reserved, but I like you. I want to see where this goes, and I know you feel the same way. I can see it in your eyes.”

Closing my eyes tightly, I placed my head against the door and tried to gain the courage to say goodbye, to put distance between us, but I found nothing. I was gutless.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Lyla coaxed. “Just know that when you’re ready, I’m here.” She caressed my jaw and pulled my chin down, where her lips pressed against mine.

My entire fucking body melted into her and I held tightly onto her hips, pulling her closer so I could feel every curve of her body. Her soft lips glided across mine until I opened my mouth and licked across the seam of her lips, begging for admittance.

She obliged with a moan and opened her mouth. I rolled her so she was against the door instead of me. With my hips pressed against hers, I pinned her against the door and ran my hands up her ribcage, dancing terribly close with her breasts. Her hands found the belt loops of my jeans and pulled me in closer.

A low moan escaped her throat, clouding my thoughts, encouraging me to take things further, to truly explore her body, but a small voice in the back of my head prevented me.

I knew I needed to step away. Guilt for what I’d done in the past stopped me. I didn’t deserve her sweetness, her kindness, her sexiness.

Frustrated with the shell of the life I had left, I pulled away and pressed my hands against the door, framing her face. Her lips were swollen, and her eyes were glazed from the heat blazing between us. She looked so fuckable, it took everything in me not to take her up against the door.

“I have to go,” I said softly, lowering my head so she couldn’t see the want in my eyes.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Don’t make this harder, Lyla.”

“How am I making this harder when you’re the one walking out?”

“You don’t know me, Lyla. There is a whole lot of fucked up attached to me, and I won’t let you to associate yourself to that.” I took a deep breath and met her eyes. “Thank you for one of the best afternoons I’ve had in a really long time.”

Gripping her chin, I placed a soft kiss on her lips and then gently moved her to the side to let myself out of her apartment. Each step I took that put distance between Lyla and myself pained me, but I knew I was doing the right thing.

Lyla was the type of woman who stuck around, who could ruin a man with just one look, and if I let her in, if I let her past my walls, I knew she would fucking destroy me. Even though I was living a life of regret and pain, I wasn’t ready to endure the crushing blow she would deliver to me if she ever left. That was one kind of pain I knew I wouldn’t be able to recover from.