Текст книги "When Day Breaks"

Автор книги: Maya Banks

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 21 страниц)

CHAPTER 15

SWANNY found himself standing outside Eden’s door, which was cracked a few inches. Though he’d said he wore only boxers to sleep, he hadn’t considered the fact that there were more scars crisscrossing his torso, ones that weren’t visible underneath his clothing, and he was seized by discomfort and self-consciousness at the idea of Eden seeing more of the imperfections of his body.

So he’d pulled on a T-shirt, noting that it made him a coward, but he couldn’t face her yet. Maybe he’d turn the lights off when he entered if she was already in bed and then he could strip out of his shirt before getting into bed, although that didn’t solve the problem of when they woke up because she’s most assuredly get an eyeful then.

But she’d asked him to trust her. It was a lot to ask even though he knew she was utterly sincere. But still, it made him uncomfortable to bare himself when he hadn’t ever let anyone else see the extent of the damage to his body from months of torture and degradation.

The psychological scars were every bit as bright in his mind as the daily reminder of his physical scars. In some ways the scars on his soul were more painful than the ones on his body, the ones that were visible. Those would take longer to heal. And maybe he’d never truly heal in heart and mind. But Eden gave him hope. Hope that he was afraid to allow himself to feel. She could so easily slip into his heart, and it would devastate him to see her expression change to one of pity or disgust, though he knew he was doing her a huge disservice by thinking she’d react that way. She’d shown him nothing but acceptance, had gone out of her way to convince him that his scars didn’t matter to her. And still, he found himself holding back, not wanting to give her any reason to back away.

He finally pushed hesitantly into her bedroom to see her propped in bed, covers to her belly. She presented such a beautiful sight that it took his breath away and he found himself momentarily unable to draw air into his lungs.

“Care if I get the lights?” he asked gruffly, trying hard not to allow his self-consciousness to be too evident.

She stared thoughtfully at him a moment. “Why are you wearing a shirt, Swanny? What are you afraid of me seeing?”

The way she seemed to be able to read his thoughts, had instantly picked up on his mood, rendered him unable to form a response. What could he say to that anyway?

She pushed away the covers and slid from the bed wearing the sexy but modest sleepwear. She had a pair of silky shorts that rode high, displaying the long expanse of those gorgeous legs. And the top covered her but had little strings over her shoulders that would be so easy to slip down, baring her breasts. His need was a physical ache. Not want her? That she’d even questioned his wanting her? He’d have to be dead not to react to the sexy image directly in front of him and getting closer with every second as she walked toward him.

She placed her hands on his chest and looked up at him, such sweetness and understanding in her eyes that his throat swelled with emotion. She saw to the heart of him. What no one else ever saw. She saw past the front he displayed to others and he didn’t know if that contented him or scared the holy hell out of him. Maybe some fucked-up combination of both.

Then she slid her hands underneath his shirt, pressing her palms to his bare skin. His breath quickened as did his pulse. His dick surged painfully and there was nothing to disguise it in the thin boxers he wore.

She pulled higher, gently removing his shirt, and he let her, standing there allowing her to do as she wanted.

With the shirt removed, she studied his torso, and then to his surprise, she pressed a kiss to one scar and then moved on to another and another until she’d covered every inch of his scarred flesh.

Now that he was down to his boxers, she took his hand, tugging him toward the bed, and he followed like a devoted puppy, eager to please his master.

She settled him into bed and then climbed in next to him, instantly curling her body into his, but she left enough space between them just so her hand would fit over his chest and the scars that dotted his torso.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me, Swanny,” she said softly. “Not from me. Never from me.”

She caressed the lines of every scar, exploring them with her fingers and then as she’d done before, she kissed a line up each one, so sweet and gentle that it made his heart ache.

“You’re beautiful,” she whispered. “So very beautiful. I’ve never met a man as beautiful as you.”

His heart damn near exploded and it took every ounce of his willpower not to turn her over and thrust into her as hard and as deep as he could go, making himself a part of her. Sealing the growing bond between them.

But she deserved more than that. And she wanted time. She didn’t want to rush into anything and neither did he, but he knew that their making love was inevitable. It also wouldn’t be long. Every other aspect of their relationship had moved at lightning speed and he knew that neither of them would hold out much longer.

Anticipation would make it all the sweeter when they did finally come together. He’d savor every single minute of their lovemaking, spend hours lavishing attention on her, learning everything that pleased her. He’d bring her to orgasm multiple times before he ever took his own pleasure. Her needs came first.

She placed one palm flat against his chest and then nestled her head on his shoulder so her hair tickled his nose. Then she slid her leg between his thighs as if seeking his warmth and touch. He was more than happy to accommodate her. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her even closer as he wrapped his leg around hers, trapping hers between his.

She let out a contented sigh, the soft exhalation blowing over his skin.

Never had anything felt so . . . right. Contentment settled into his bones, relaxing him as pleasure seeped into every part of his body. She lay in his arms, a perfect fit, like she was made for him. Like she belonged there.

He might have initially fought his attraction to Eden and he might have doubted that she could possibly be attracted to him, but here and now he knew that what was between them was real. Their attraction was a living, breathing thing. Tangible. It danced in the air between them and when they were close, her in his arms, it smoldered like a slow-burning fire just waiting to ignite into an inferno.

He thought she’d drifted into sleep when she shifted and turned toward him, her eyes seeking.

“Do you like working for KGI?”

“Yeah,” he said without hesitation. “They gave me purpose when I thought I no longer had one. I was at loose ends after coming back from that last tour. I suppose I was going through a self-pity stage and railing at the injustice of it all. It wasn’t a pretty sight. But there were things that happened during our escape and rescue. Things I needed answers to, and so I went to see Nate. He wasn’t faring much better than I was.”

“What kind of things?” she asked curiously.

He hesitated, unsure of how much he should share. One, she’d think he was crazy, and two, he didn’t want to betray Shea or Grace. Not when they were the reason he was alive today.

But he also knew that if he and Eden became involved, she’d find out eventually. And he’d rather she heard it from him. So she’d know he trusted her and hadn’t held out on her.

“You’ll think I’m crazy,” he said.

She pushed upward so she could look down at him, her hair spilling like a silken curtain over her shoulders and brushing over his chest. He could bury his hands and face in her hair and stay there for hours.

“I won’t think you’re crazy,” she said solemnly. “You can trust me, Swanny. I won’t judge you. I’ll listen. And I’d never betray your confidence.”

He knew that absolutely. Maybe it was crazy to trust this woman when he’d only known her such a short time. But he did trust her. She didn’t have a mean or vengeful bone in her body.

He sighed. “When we were being held captive, Shea, Nathan’s wife, though they didn’t even know each other at the time, spoke to him, in his head from miles away. Telepathy.”

Eden’s eyes widened. “Really? That’s so cool. I didn’t think things like that truly existed.”

“Yeah, she helped hold him together. She even took his torture for him. It sounds complicated, but she could draw away his pain and make it her own. She suffered for him so he could stay strong.”

“That’s pretty selfless,” Eden murmured. “Especially for a man she didn’t know.”

Swanny nodded his agreement. “When Nathan and I escaped, I was busted up pretty bad. I knew I was fucked up internally and I knew I was dying. I was slowing Nathan down and I begged him to leave me so he could at least save himself. This is where it gets even more unbelievable. Shea’s sister Grace has the ability to heal and as a conduit through Shea and Nathan, she was able to heal me or at least patch me up enough that I could continue on.”

“It would seem I owe both those women my thanks when I meet them.”

Swanny couldn’t help the surge of pleasure at the matter-of-fact way she assumed she’d be meeting his extended family. Like she saw a future with him in it.

“We made it out. Nathan’s brothers—KGI—got to us in time and they got us home. We were both busted up pretty bad, and afterward I went home and Nathan went back to his family. But I had no one. Just an empty house that used to belong to my parents. And it was driving me crazy. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. And I still had all those burning questions about what had happened back there. So I looked up Nathan and while I was there, Shea contacted him, the first he’d heard from her since our escape. He went off the hinges and hauled ass to get to her. Two of his brothers and I went after him to help. I just sort of fell in with them and then they offered me a position on the new team they were forming.”

“You’re happy now, then.”

He nodded. “Yeah. I feel like I have purpose again. Something to get up for in the mornings. I like making a difference. We help people and we take out those who prey on others.”

She frowned. “It sounds dangerous.”

“It is.” He wouldn’t sugarcoat his job. She needed to know what his job entailed. “There’s always a chance of one of us not coming back from a mission. But we’re good and we’re careful. We’ve had a few close calls, but we haven’t lost a man since one of Rio’s men was killed before I ever came on board. He was taken out when the Kellys’ mother was kidnapped from the hospital after her husband suffered a heart attack.”

“Wow. It sounds like there’s never a dull moment around you guys. I can see why this job would be a cakewalk for you and, honestly, far below your capabilities. I feel guilty for tying up an entire team. It seems like your talents are wasted on what amounts to a babysitting gig.”

He pulled her back down into his arms, squeezing her against him. “We take your protection very seriously, Eden. You are our top priority. No job takes higher priority than another. Every mission we take gets our full attention. Besides, if we hadn’t been hired to protect you, then you and I wouldn’t be right here right now, and I’m liking exactly where we are.”

He felt her smile against his chest. “You have a point there. I wouldn’t have missed meeting you for the world.”

“Me either,” he said. “Now how about you get some rest. I have the alarm set for early so we can get in that workout. Don’t expect me to go easy on you because I think you’re cute. I’ll work your ass off and then you’re going to show me your self-defense moves so I’ll know what else you need to be taught.”

She chuckled but settled bonelessly into his arms, letting out a long breath that signaled her fatigue.

“Good night, Swanny. I’m glad you’re here with me.”

He squeezed her one last time. “I’m glad too.”

CHAPTER 16

THOUGH Swanny had set the alarm on his watch, he had an internal clock that never failed him. If he knew what time he had to be up, he woke up five minutes before without fail.

He reached down to turn the alarm off, not wanting to jar Eden, who was sleeping soundly in his arms. He had five minutes before he needed to wake her up, and he intended to savor every one of those five minutes.

She was nestled in the curve of his arm, her hair spread out over his arm and the pillow. She was as beautiful in sleep as she was awake and alert. He studied her in the dim light from the bathroom, the door slightly ajar, using the opportunity to drink his fill when she was sleeping.

The straps to her top had slid down her shoulders, and it would take only the slightest movement to expose her nipple. As it was, the plump swells of her breasts were enticingly visible, the material just catching on her nipples so it didn’t bare her further.

She shifted and he froze, but she simply snuggled deeper into his chest, let out a soft sigh and then settled back down again.

Damn, but he hated to wake her. He could lie this way for hours, simply watching and enjoying the sight of her in bed with him.

Their limbs were tangled, one of her legs between his, and his leg thrown over her possessively, anchoring her solidly against him. No, they hadn’t made love, and he agreed that they shouldn’t rush things, but the intimacy between them was as tangible as if they had made love.

And even though they’d both agreed not to rush, he was honest enough with himself to know that she would be in his bed and he would be inside her soon. They both wanted the same thing. Their consummating their growing relationship was inevitable.

All of his earlier wariness was gone, vanished. Now that he was certain of her and her feelings, he was eager to take that next step. Because sex with Eden wouldn’t just be sex. He knew in his heart that it would be earth-shattering and that it would likely change the course of his life forever, no matter what happened between them later.

He refused to look too far down the road because their careers took them in completely separate directions. He was just focused on now and the time they would have together now. Looking beyond here and now would only bring him heartache.

They literally had to take it one day at a time and see where things took them. If they became serious, then they would simply have to find a way to be together. Love required sacrifice. He’d seen it time and time again. But where there was a will, there was a way. He had to believe that. Because if he thought too far ahead and imagined them saying good-bye and going their separate ways, it would devastate him.

He wanted nothing to interfere with what they had—and would have—now. All he could control was how they spent the time they had together. Anything beyond was out of his control, and so he had to concentrate on what was in his control: making damn certain that he gave Eden what she wanted—what he wanted—and enjoying every stolen moment together. If in the end they did go in different directions, then he’d savor every single memory of their time together and never regret a single moment. It was all either of them could do.

Knowing the quiet time he’d spent simply observing Eden unnoticed was over, he reluctantly brushed a hand over her cheek and murmured in a low voice, “Eden. Baby, it’s time to get up. We need to hit the gym in twenty minutes if we’re going to be on schedule for your shoot.”

Her eyelids fluttered open and her unfocused stare found his, and then her entire face was transformed into a heart-stopping smile that took his breath away. The idea that she found so much pleasure from being in his arms, coming awake in his arms, made his chest constrict to the point of discomfort.

“Good morning,” she said in a sleepy, husky voice.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Like a rock,” she admitted. “I’ve never slept better. I have you to thank for that. So thank you.”

“For what, honey?”

“For sleeping with me. For holding me. Letting me sleep in your arms. I’ve never felt as safe and secure as I did last night.”

Her frank admission twisted his stomach into knots. God, the woman was worming her way right into his very soul. She was already firmly entrenched, but every minute in her presence only strengthened the bond between them. Was this what love felt like? Was he already falling in love with her?

The practical side of him argued that it was much too soon to be making that kind of admission. But his heart and soul said very different things. That this was his woman. She belonged to him. Making love to her would simply cement what he already knew. That she was his.

He kissed her again, this time brushing his mouth over hers in a tender manner. “You’re very welcome. But I have to tell you, I’ve never slept as well either, so you did as much for me as you say I did for you. I have . . .”

He struggled with the admission on the tip of his tongue. It made him sound weak. And the last thing he wanted her to think was that he was weak.

“You have what?” she asked gently.

“Nightmares,” he said in a low voice. “There doesn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to them. Some nights I don’t dream at all. But others I dream about being back there, of the pain and despair I felt—still feel at times.”

Her eyes shone with sympathy. With anyone else he would hate that sympathy. It was the last thing he wanted. But with Eden, he didn’t feel the accompanying shame he so often felt over appearing weak.

“I can only imagine,” she murmured. “It must have been such a horrible time for you, Swanny. I’m glad you had one night of peace. I’d hate to think that you were giving me so much and that I was giving you nothing in return. So it makes me feel good that you slept as well as I did. I think we make a good team,” she said, a sparkle entering her eyes. “Maybe I’m good for you.”

“I know you’re good for me,” he said with a growl. “There’s no question of that. Now at the risk of sounding like an asshole, you’ve got to get up and get moving. I’ll grab a shower in the other bathroom and then we’ll go down and do your workout. If we have enough time, you can show me your moves and then I can analyze what you need further work on and we’ll fit it in around your shoots. I don’t want you to overdo it. I know this shoot is going to be exhausting enough.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine,” she said as she climbed from the bed, taking her warmth and sweetness with her. “Besides, if it means getting to spend more time with you, then I’ll make the time.”

God, but she had him so twisted into knots that he didn’t know up from down. How could someone so utterly perfect be interested in someone like him, who not only had physical scars but stains on his soul and emptiness in his heart that until meeting her he’d thought would never heal?

And yet within the short time they’d been together he could feel those missing parts starting to fill in. Like he was regaining all he’d lost during the horrific time he was held captive and taken apart little by little, his very will to live chipped away until he was ready to give up and end it all.

He hauled himself out of bed without the all-business attitude that was his usual morning routine. After taking a quick shower, he made a call to Joe to let him know he and Eden would be down in the gym until it was time to take her to the shoot. Joe had already made arrangements for the cars that would take Eden and the rest of KGI wherever they needed to go while they were in Paris.

“I’ll send Skylar and Edge down to cover the entrance to the gym,” Joe said. “We can’t be too careful and we definitely can’t afford to let our guard down.”

Swanny bristled at the notion that he wasn’t adequate protection for Eden, but he knew Joe was right. What Swanny couldn’t do was become involved with Eden to the extent that he became distracted from their number one priority: keeping her safe at all times.

Her safety came first, above everything else. Even the attraction between them. Nothing could compromise their goal. This was a mission. A job. Their reputation, not to mention Eden’s life, was riding on this. He damn sure wasn’t going to be the reason they failed, and he definitely wouldn’t be the reason Eden got hurt or killed.

Yanked back by the reality of the situation, he went in search of Eden, some of his earlier lethargy and the warm haze that had surrounded him when he’d wakened in Eden’s arms replaced by a sense of purpose.

He stuck his head inside the bedroom door. “You ready?”

She came out of the bathroom finishing up the ponytail she’d secured in her hair. She was wearing a tight-fitting halter top and a pair of low-rise sweats that bared a few inches of her abdomen. His body reacted instantly and he quickly reined himself in, reminding himself of what was at stake here.

“I’m ready. You ready to get your ass kicked?” she asked mischievously.

It was impossible to adopt a sterner, more businesslike demeanor when she radiated warmth and sweetness.

“Pretty cocky for someone who hasn’t sized up her opponent,” he replied.

“Oh, I’ve sized him up,” she said, letting her gaze wander over his body until he felt as though she’d stripped him of every piece of clothing with nothing more than her eyes.

“You’re incorrigible,” he said in mock exasperation. “Let’s get moving. We’re on a tight schedule.”

She snapped to attention, giving him a soldier’s salute. “Yes, sir. Lead the way.”

Cheeky little wench. But he loved every bit of her sass. There wasn’t a single thing about her he didn’t like. She seemed impossibly perfect, and no one was that perfect. Everyone had flaws. So what were hers?

They took the stairs down to the second floor where the gym was located, and Edge and Skylar were already standing outside the door. Eden looked surprised to see them and maybe even a little chagrined. Swanny would have to have a talk with her later to remind her of everything he himself had discarded momentarily.

“It’s clear,” Edge said, his voice rumbling from his chest. “You and Eden will be the only ones inside unless someone else comes in after you. Sky and I will make sure that anyone who enters is on the level.”

“Thanks,” Swanny said. “We’ll be an hour tops. Eden needs to eat before we head to her shoot.”

“Just a vitamin shake for me,” Eden interjected. “I’ll need to shower again after my workout, so I can drink it on the way. But if y’all need to eat, go ahead and get room service ordered while I get all my stuff together. Hair and makeup will be done there, so I’ll just wear sweats and a T-shirt to the studio. I won’t take long to get ready at all. Just get my bag together and I’ll be done.”

Swanny shook his head but didn’t comment. If it were up to him, Eden would be eating a hell of a lot more, but she knew what was best for her and it wasn’t his place to interfere.

He used the room key to gain entry to the small fitness room and then grabbed towels for him and Eden.

She went straight to the stationary bike and immediately began a rigorous workout. He didn’t join in because quite simply he enjoyed watching her work up a sweat. She was one of those women who didn’t sweat. She glowed. A sheen of perspiration made her perfect skin glisten in the light and it made him want to do crazy things, like run his tongue over her flesh and suck up every drop of perspiration.

After fifteen minutes, she switched to a cardio stepping machine and put in another fifteen minutes there before moving to one of the benches to do abdominal crunches.

He was impressed by her stamina and the fact that she didn’t look in the least winded. She was obviously in excellent shape. Her body certainly didn’t tell a different story. She was toned. Hard in the places she needed to be hard and delectably soft in the places she should be.

Next, she went to the treadmill and threw a smile over her shoulder. “Give me fifteen minutes to cool down and then I’ll throw you on your ass.”

He grinned back and drawled out his response. “Keep dreaming, princess.”

She rolled her eyes and refocused her attention on the treadmill, swinging her arms as she started out with a brisk pace only to back it down gradually until she finally turned it off and stepped down.

She made a show of cracking her knuckles and assuming the stance of a fighter as she circled him warily.

“I propose a wager,” she said in a cocky voice. “I throw you and I get one request you have to fulfill.”

“And if I throw you? Or you don’t throw me?” he asked, lifting one eyebrow.

“Then you get one request of me that I have to fulfill.”

His mind was immediately ablaze with all the possibilities. And judging by the calculating smug expression Eden was wearing, her thoughts likely mirrored his. Hell, in his way of thinking it didn’t matter who won the bet because they very likely wanted the same things. But just in case, he wasn’t about to let her win because it had suddenly become very important that he get what he wanted.

Her. In his bed. Him so deeply inside her that he felt swallowed up by her, heart and soul.

“Deal,” he said in a challenging tone.

She was good. He had to hand it to her. Being up against a man twice her size would normally make it impossible for her to get the upper hand. But she was fast and she’d obviously been trained well.

He groaned when he saw that they had an audience outside the glass door leading into the fitness room. Joe and Nathan had joined Skylar and Edge, and they all were watching in obvious amusement.

His distraction almost cost him the bet. She went in for the kill and he stumbled but righted himself immediately and did a quick leg sweep while she was unbalanced and took her down, rolling himself underneath her so he took the brunt of the fall.

She stared down at him, panting softly, her hair in disarray. “I don’t suppose since I’m on top and you’re pinned down that I win?”

He laughed at the chagrin on her features. “Sorry, princess. I didn’t want to hurt you so I took the brunt of the fall, but I definitely took you down. Victory is mine.”

She pouted, which only made him laugh harder. She was so damn cute with that bottom lip stuck out and the puppy-dog look in her eyes.

“I hope your request will be at least as fun as mine was going to be,” she grumbled.

“Oh, it’ll be fun,” he said softly. “I know I’ll love every minute of it and I plan to make damn sure you enjoy it every bit as much.”

Fire ignited in her eyes and for a moment he thought she was going to kiss him. But a quick glance in the direction of the doorway was enough to make her temper her reaction. She didn’t want an audience any more than he did.

Instead she scrambled off him and then extended her hand down to help him up. He bounced upward and stood with his back to the door so Eden was shielded from view.

“You’re good,” he said sincerely. “But there’s more I can teach you. I can sharpen your skills for sure if you’re interested.”

She lifted both brows in an exaggerated expression of surprise. “Let’s see. More one-on-one time with you and getting to wrestle you to the floor, no matter who causes the fall? Nah, I’m not interested at all.”

“Incorrigible,” he muttered, knowing he was using that word a lot when it came to describing her.

She flashed him a million-dollar smile. “So, um, when do I get to hear this request I’m supposed to fulfill?”

Making sure Eden was still hidden from view, he leaned in close so his lips brushed her temple and were close to one ear.

“Later,” he murmured. “I’m thinking tonight, that is, if you aren’t working too late and aren’t exhausted afterward.”

Her eyes gleamed and pink dusted her glossy cheeks, made so by the light perspiration of her workout.

“I can assure you I won’t be so exhausted that I can’t hold up my end of the bargain,” she murmured.