Текст книги "When Day Breaks"

Автор книги: Maya Banks

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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 21 страниц)

CHAPTER 30

EDEN issued an audible sigh of relief once Swanny and part of his team had entered her suite and swept the interior while Edge and Skylar had remained in the hallway with her, flanking her protectively and watching for any sign of anyone in the hallway.

They’d rented out the entire floor of rooms so they’d be the only occupants, and the hotel had put a block on anyone stopping on their floor on the elevator. But the stairway presented an issue because they couldn’t lock it in case they needed to get out fast, and they damn sure needed more than one option for escape.

Now everyone was gone except Swanny, and she sank onto the couch, only wanting Swanny next to her, his arms around her.

“Want to get undressed and into more comfortable clothing?” Swanny asked before he sat next to her. He stood just in front of her, as if waiting to see what she wanted before he decided on his position.

“Only if you’ll come to bed with me and hold me,” she said, watching for his reaction.

It bothered her that she was still so unsure of herself, or rather of him. She wasn’t used to being anything but confident in her life and career. But this was something she’d never encountered before.

She’d completely lost her heart to Swanny and she had no idea if he reciprocated her feelings. She knew he cared about her. No question there. But when this was all over with, would he simply move on to the next mission and she’d go back to her life and career as if they hadn’t ever held such a close bond?

His expression immediately softened and a heated glow entered his eyes as he stared warmly down at her. He held out his hand to help her to her feet and then pulled her into his arms.

“I’ll hold you all night, honey. But first there’s something I want to give you and then . . .” He hesitated briefly, uncertainty flashing in his eyes giving him an almost vulnerable look. He let out his breath as he pulled her a little farther away from his embrace. “Then, I’d like us to go to bed because there’s something I want to discuss with you.”

He blurted out the last, as though it had taken him a moment to gather his courage and say it before he changed his mind.

She looked curiously up at him, a sudden attack of nerves making her stomach flutter. Was he going to tell her they were over? That he’d made a mistake by making love to her? How did the saying go? Something like women got way more emotional when it came to sex and how they read far more into the act than a guy did? Had she set herself up for a monumental fall?

Some of her panic must have shown on her face, because Swanny immediately looked contrite and pulled her back into his arms. “I’m sorry, Eden. That probably came out badly. I’m not so good with words, and I’ll man up and admit, I’m nervous as hell. But it’s nothing bad. God, I hope not anyway.”

Something in his voice immediately soothed the tension that had knotted her insides. She could hear the nervousness in his voice, see the same tension she had felt in his features. It made her want to comfort him instead of seeking comfort for her own bout of nerves.

“What do you want to talk about?” she asked, deciding to take the plunge. Like a bandage. Rip it off quickly and cleanly.

Instead of answering her, he took her hand and pulled her toward the bedroom. When they were standing by the bed, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a silvery strand. At first she wasn’t at all certain what it was until he held it up.

It was a delicate necklace with a heart charm that twinkled and caught the low light from the lamps. Her pulse ratcheted up. She was delighted with the gift, but she saw the uncertainty in Swanny’s expression and her heart immediately softened.

“I’d like for you to wear this,” he said gruffly. “I know you can’t wear it all the time, like for your shoots or the launch party. But in between and especially if you aren’t with me, I’d like for you to wear it.”

There was an odd note to his voice. She cocked her head to the side, studying him for a moment. Then she brushed away the oddity and decided he was simply nervous over whether she’d like something so simple. He likely thought nothing but the most expensive jewels ever adorned her body.

Even if she didn’t like his gift—and that certainly was not the case here—she’d never in a million years crush him by rejecting something so precious.

Reverently she took it in her hands, sliding it carefully from Swanny’s fingers.

“I love it,” she said, a knot forming in her throat.

“Really?”

She swore she could see sweat on his brow.

She extended it toward him and then turned when he took it from her.

“Clasp it for me?” she asked.

He fumbled behind her neck, and she smiled when he muttered a curse. Finally he secured it and she turned around, walking into his arms, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you,” she said. “I really do love it.”

He returned her hug and then tilted her head back with a nudge to her chin and his mouth covered hers. Heat scorched a path up her spine and yet she shivered as if chilled in reaction to the pleasure radiating in waves over her skin like the softest of whispers.

She broke away, panting slightly, desire a strong, steady presence. It weighed down on her, filling her with need, desperate need.

“If we’re going to discuss anything, then I suggest we get to discussing before we get sidetracked with other matters entirely,” she said breathlessly.

Again she saw vulnerability creep into his eyes, giving her an unfettered glimpse of raw emotion shimmering back at her. It made her want to hug him to her and tell him it would be all right. But how could she when she had no idea what it was he had on his mind?

After the last bomb he’d dropped on her, she’d be a fool to think whatever it was would be insignificant.

“Get undressed for bed and comfortable. Give me a minute to wash up and change myself. Then we’ll get into bed and talk.”

She swore he was delaying it, almost as if he were still gathering courage to broach whatever topic he had on his mind. It only made her more nervous, and she wanted to blurt out that he should just tell her now, because the wait was killing her.

But she also recognized that whatever it was, he needed a moment to collect his thoughts. For him, she could wait, because she never wanted him to feel uncomfortable with her. Not when she was so at ease with him. There wasn’t anything she felt as though she couldn’t tell him, and she wanted him to feel the same way about her.

“Okay,” she said softly. “It won’t take me but a moment, but take as long as you need. I’ll be in bed waiting.”

Relief registered in his eyes and he turned abruptly, heading to the bathroom. A moment later she heard the shower turn on. She stripped out of her clothing and chose a comfortable pair of silk pajamas. She certainly had sexier options to wear, but she didn’t want to distract Swanny from whatever he wanted to discuss. The desire between them had been a tangible force in the room, but she’d also registered the importance of whatever it was he wanted to talk to her about, so she pushed thoughts of lovemaking from her mind and mentally prepared herself for what lay ahead.

Hoping for the best, she took a steadying breath and climbed into bed, pulling the covers up to modestly cover herself, and waited for Swanny to return.

She didn’t have long to wait. It wasn’t even five minutes before Swanny returned, wearing a pair of boxers and a form-fitting T-shirt that had her drooling over his muscled physique. He paused at the edge of the bed, uncertainty once again filling his eyes.

Taking the initiative, she pulled the covers back and patted the space beside her.

“You can talk to me about anything, Swanny,” she said softly. “I never want you to feel as though you have to hold anything back. Not from me. Never from me. I feel closer to you than I’ve ever felt to anyone else in my life outside of my father and brothers.”

His features relaxed and he climbed into bed beside her and turned on his side facing her, propping his head up with his palm, elbow down on the pillow. He fiddled with the sheets a moment, his gaze lowered, but then finally he seemed to gather his courage and he lifted his gaze to meet hers.

She waited patiently in silence, not wanting to press. She sensed this was something huge. At least to him. But still, she couldn’t stanch the tiny tendrils of dread that wrapped themselves around her heart.

“I know I’m not good enough for you,” he said gruffly.

She opened her mouth to voice an immediate denial, but he put a finger gently to her lips.

“Let me finish,” he said quietly. “There’s a lot I want to say and I need to get it all out before I completely wimp out.”

She promptly closed her mouth, her heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice.

“I—I guess I want to know where this is headed,” he said in a faltering voice. “You and me, I mean. You have to know I have feelings for you, Eden.”

He stopped and shook his head.

“That’s not accurate. I’m in love with you. Completely and utterly in love with you. There’s no doubt in my mind about how I feel about you. And I need to know if you have any feelings for me. When this is over, I need to know where that leaves us. You aren’t just a job to me. You never will be. And I don’t want, when this is all over with, for us to go our separate ways and pretend that we didn’t share such a deep connection, and I guess what I’m asking is if you feel that same connection or if it’s one-sided on my part.”

He grew quiet, the anxiety in his gaze heightening. Her heart was racing, near to exploding. He’d laid himself bare before her. The courage that must have taken with his insecurities over not being good enough for her, not fitting into her world, his scars both internal and external. God, she couldn’t fathom such courage when she hadn’t even had the courage herself to tell him how she felt about him. She was suddenly shamed that he’d had to be the one to bring the topic up. That she hadn’t had his courage and had forced him into such a vulnerable position. If only she had as much bravery as he had. If she had only been willing to face her own fears, he would never be in this position, placing his very heart and soul in her hands when he had no idea if he’d face rejection.

Tears burned her eyes and she made no effort to wipe them away. They slid soundlessly down her cheeks and for a moment she simply couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t possibly say a word. Her throat was clogged with emotion, her chest heavy. Close on the heels of raw emotion came overwhelming relief. He wasn’t blowing her off. God, he’d just said he loved her. The very thing she’d wished the most for. The thing she’d lacked the courage to offer him first.

She still couldn’t find the words that were filling her heart, her mind, her very soul, so she did the only thing she did find herself capable of. She threw her arms around him, knocking him onto his back. And then she kissed him. Raw, heated, pouring every ounce of what she couldn’t summon to say into her kiss.

Her tears spilled onto his skin. She could taste them, salty and warm on their tongues as he returned her kiss in equal measure. She framed his face in her hands, gently caressing the scarred side, and then she kissed the corner of his mouth, the one where the scar just reached and affected that side’s ability to tilt upward as much as the other, and then she followed the path of the scar all the way up his cheek to where it ended near the corner of his eye.

“I love you too,” she said brokenly, finally able to speak around the huge knot in her throat. “I love you so much, Swanny. I’m so sorry I haven’t said it before. I guess we were both afraid. I’m so sorry I forced you into this position when I should have been the one to be honest with you the moment I knew I was in love with you.”

“Oh God,” he whispered. “Thank God. I was so scared, Eden. You have no idea. I’ve never put myself on the line like this. Never thought I would. It scared the shit out of me. It’s taken me days to work up the courage to tell you everything in my heart. I know I’m not good enough for you, but God, I want you. I love you so much. I don’t want to be without you. Ever.”

She growled in response, her eyes narrowing as the tears stopped and she glared down at him as ferociously as she could, given the emotional magnitude of the moment.

“I swear to God, Swanny, if I hear the words ‘I’m not good enough for you’ one more time, I’m going to strangle you. That’s the most ridiculous, absurd thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Not good enough for me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

She was huffing with indignation, and he smiled. Then he laughed, the sound light and carefree, as if it had been years in the making. He relaxed beneath her, joy spreading over his features, warming his eyes. He’d never been more beautiful to her than in this moment. Lying beneath her so happy and at ease. As if she’d single-handedly slain every one of his demons. She realized then the power she had over him, and it didn’t make her feel good at all. She wanted them to be equals. She didn’t want the power to hurt him, ever. But she also realized now that they both had the power to hurt each other because they were too intertwined, too connected. Soul deep.

Soul mates.

It might sound corny as hell. Something from a book or a movie. But it fit. Because she knew to her bones that Swanny was the only man for her. There’d never be another after him. How could there be?

“Promise me you’ll never say it again,” she said, taking a more serious, quieter tone. “Only I get to decide who’s good enough for me, and I say you’re perfect for me. Excuse my potty mouth, but I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. And if you think I’m going to hide my association with you or refuse to be seen in public with you, then I’ll kick your ass from one end of this room to the other.”

He burst into laughter again and then gathered her tightly in his arms, hugging her to his hard body. He pressed a kiss into her hair and then inhaled, squeezing her even tighter until she could barely breathe. And yet she didn’t mind. She was locked against him, where she belonged. She’d never felt safer and more secure than she did right here in this moment with him wrapped solidly around her, a barrier to the outside world where danger lurked and someone stalked her, waiting and watching for an opportunity to harm her.

“I guess this means we’re an item, then,” he said, an obvious grin in his voice.

“Damn straight we are. I know we have some things to work out. Namely our careers. But for now I vote we put that conversation on the back burner and focus on here and now and the fact that what I want most is for you to make love to me.”

“Never let it be said I denied my lady anything,” he said cheekily, tugging playfully at her hair.

“I like your attitude,” she said in a sassy voice, matching his own playfulness.

God, but she loved this. That she could be herself. The real Eden Sinclair. No cameras. No acting. No glamour or makeup. No fancy clothes. Not the supermodel the rest of the world saw. With Swanny she was just Eden. A woman with needs just like every other woman in the world. Normal. And she’d found perfection. Utter perfection. What more could she possibly ever ask for?

He rolled suddenly, reversing their positions so she was beneath him. He stared down at her, his eyes glittering with molten desire.

“Then you’ll like this a whole lot better,” he said, just as he lowered his mouth to hers.

Oh yeah. She did like it a whole lot better now that he was kissing her. Sealing their love with more than just the words. He was fulfilling the promise of so much that the word entailed with his body. His tongue. His gentle hands as he caressed the length of her body.

He seemed impatient with her pajamas. Sliding his hands underneath her top as if desperate for the feel of her skin. She arched like a cat into each touch, purring her delight as he inched her top higher until finally he ordered her to put her arms up so he could hastily yank the material free of her body for good.

Willingly, she complied, and then he went to work on her bottoms, pulling them down in mere seconds, tugging them from her ankles before sending them sailing in the opposite direction her top had landed.

Then he chuckled softly as he stared down at her completely naked body from his position on his knees at her feet.

“You cheated,” he accused. “You set me up, planned for this. No underwear? How daring, sweet, innocent Eden. You may have the face and the heart of an angel, but you have the soul of a wicked temptress. Swear to God, you’ll be the death of me yet.”

She merely grinned, then arched her body invitingly. “You just going to sit there and list all my faults or are you actually going to do something with me now that you have me naked and in bed?” She stared pointedly at his still-dressed body. “Seems to me you have a lot of catching up to do.”

“I can sure as hell fix that,” he muttered, already reaching to strip his T-shirt off, his muscles rippling with the effort.

She held her breath when his hands immediately dropped to his boxers. His cock was bulging the material outward and if he moved an inch in either direction, his erection would spring free through the opening in the crotch.

He shoved downward and she sighed at the beauty of his male physique as he leaned back on the bed so he could work the underwear free and toss it aside. She hadn’t lied or plied him with insincere compliments. He was absolutely beautiful to her.

Yes, scars crisscrossed his body. No area had been left undamaged by his captors when he’d existed in hell. But to her they were a testament of his honor, of his will to live despite impossible odds. That they hadn’t been able to break him. How many men could say the same? How many men would even survive, much less survive with their sanity intact? And yet he continued on, still holding a job that put his life on the line on every single mission his team went on.

A movie title floated through her mind—it was silly, but she was so absorbed in her study of him and her thoughts, her admiration, that she couldn’t help but think of the words Uncommon Valor. It suited him, and all his teammates, to a T. But especially Swanny. Her man. The man she loved and God, he loved her too!

It was as though it were only just sinking in that he returned her feelings. Her love. A giddy rush invaded her veins, making her bold and yanking her from her perusal of his beautiful body. She leaned up, reaching for him, pushing herself up to her knees so that he was turned to the side, his feet on the floor where he’d only moments before stepped from his boxers. She framed his face, pulling him in to meet her kiss.

Hot, lush, she kissed him with wild abandon she would never have believed herself capable of. She poured every ounce of emotion, the depth of her love, into her kiss.

He wrapped his arms around her and fell with her, her back landing with a thud on the soft mattress, his mouth still fused to hers. She let out a soft moan when he slid his mouth down the line of her jaw to her ear, where he licked and toyed with the lobe before sucking it firmly between his teeth.

The rhythmic suckling motion only heightened her anticipation for when he’d do the same to her breasts. And to her clitoris. An all-over body shiver quaked through her in remembrance of his mouth on her most sensitive flesh, how expertly he’d brought her mind-blowing ecstasy.

Whoa, she was getting way ahead of herself here. Stay in the moment, Eden. Savor every second. Don’t let it be over too quickly. This was a night she’d never forget as long as she lived. The night Swanny told her he loved her and then showed her his love in the most tangible way a man could show his woman his feelings.

“You with me?” Swanny asked gruffly, his head just above hers as he stared down into her eyes.

She cursed herself for getting so carried away with her internal reflection, because now Swanny held a look of hesitation, as though he worried he wasn’t pleasing her. That she’d drifted away from the here and now.

She reached up to touch his scarred cheek and gently caressed it. “I was just savoring the moment and thinking how I’d never forget this night as long as I lived because it’s the night you told me you loved me and now we’re making beautiful love. So yeah, I’m with you. I’m so with you. Never without you. Even when you aren’t right there by my side . . . At the shoots when we have to be apart, even though I know you’re just a short distance away, I’m still thinking about you. Wishing you were touching me. Just holding my hand or wrapping your arm around me. All those sultry sexy looks I had to give the camera? They were all for you. I imagined you making love to me, me inviting you to make love to me, and poured every single emotion I felt for you into what the camera captured.”

“Jesus, Eden,” he muttered, just before his mouth crashed down on hers again.

When he came up for air and they were both sucking huge breaths into their starving lungs, he stared down at her, his eyes boring intently into hers.

“You can’t know what that means to me. You can’t possibly know because there is no way in hell I can ever put into words what it means. There aren’t enough words in any language to describe what you mean to me.”

“Just show me,” she said simply. “Our bodies communicate much better without words.”

Without responding, he lowered his head to her breasts and flicked his tongue out, teasing one nipple into rigidity. He circled the puckered ridge, leaving a warm, damp trail before nipping ever so gently at it.

She bowed upward, her gasp of pleasure whistling past her lips. Her body undulated, greedy, wanting more, but he didn’t respond to her silent demands. Patiently he teased and pleasured one breast before finally moving to the other to give it equal treatment. Eden was a writhing mess, nearly out of her head with desire for him to take her. To possess her. Own her. Cement the declaration of their love with the joining of their bodies.

He pressed a gentle kiss between her breasts and then kissed a line to her navel, where he circled it teasingly with his tongue before going lower and lower still.

Eden was always careful to keep her bikini area waxed. She often modeled swimwear or lingerie. She’d always considered it part and parcel of the job and had never been concerned about upkeep when it came to a man. But now she was glad she was neatly trimmed as Swanny nuzzled through the soft tuft of curls that formed a small triangle at her groin.

With gentle fingers, he parted her folds and then swiped his tongue from her entrance all the way up to her clitoris. She nearly came on the spot.

“Swanny!” she panted. “You have to stop. I’m going to come and I want you with me. Especially tonight. It has to be together tonight.”

He lifted his head, his eyes filled with so much warmth and understanding. “We’ll go together, honey. I guarantee it. I just want to make sure you’re with me and prepared fully for me.”

“I’m so ready.”

The words were nearly a groan. Her body was strung tight, seemingly pulled in opposite directions as the tension increased, her orgasm building and swelling until she felt completely out of control.

As if sensing she was hanging just off the edge, Swanny rose up over her, his big body covering hers, his heat scorching against her skin. He nudged her thighs wider apart and then he slid his hands down, burrowing between her body and the mattress so he could cup her behind, lifting her as he pushed inside her.

The angle he held her at made it possible for him to slide all the way into her. They both let out strangled sounds and she realized he was just as precariously close to release as she was.

She slid her hands up his muscled arms to his broad shoulders and then stroked and caressed his back as he lay there above her, his face creased with strain as he held himself still inside her.

“It’s okay, Swanny,” she whispered. “I’m there. Don’t hold back. Don’t worry that this isn’t perfect. Perfection isn’t marked by time or length of a special moment. It’s marked by the effort made. Take us both over. I’m ready.”

He let out a loud groan and then lowered his head so their foreheads touched, their mouths a mere inch apart, their breaths mingling. There was something decidedly intimate about them simply being. The gesture was warm and affectionate and spoke far more words than could ever be said.

“You ready?” he whispered, adopting the same tone she had.

“Yeah,” she whispered back, her eyelashes fluttering as their gazes molded together from being such a short distance apart.

He shifted, withdrew and then thrust forward. Deep. Hard. Like iron coated in velvet. Her breath hitched and her fingers dug into his shoulders, anchoring herself for the impending storm. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the magnetic pull of ultimate release.

Each time he thrust forward, he hit just the right spot in the inside and out. Her clitoris was straining and every brush of his groin over the hypersensitive flesh was like experiencing an electrical surge.

“Please,” she begged.

“Never have to beg,” Swanny vowed. “I’d give you the world at your feet if you wanted it. Anything that is in my power to give you will always be yours.”

He kissed her, sealing his vow, his body moving hotly over hers. Limbs tangled, hearts entwined, they both climbed and fell at the same time, spiraling into the vortex of dizzying ecstasy. Eden was only aware of Swanny. Swanny who loved her. Swanny who would protect her with his life.

He settled over her like the warmest of blankets, his chest heaving, an exact match to her own. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, effectively putting her stamp, her claim, to this gorgeous—inside and out—specimen of a delicious alpha male.

No one could possibly be more satisfied or happier than she was right now. There was no feeling in the world to match this sense of completion. The future looked so incredibly bright. Nothing was impossible. She and Swanny would find a way to stay together. It was a vow she made to herself, one she fully intended to see through.