Текст книги "Weak Without Him"

Автор книги: Lyra Parish

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 13 страниц)

FINNLEY
Thirty-five

Abbot's men were happy to freely shoot semi-automatic weapons. I didn't care for the cold metal between my hands. It felt dangerous, destructible, and foreign, but in that instance, having the extra protection was necessary. I didn't know what to expect when we burst down the doors leading to the whores and pimps who ruled the underground. I never understood why it was underground, considering prostitution was legal in Vegas. Never mind. Behind every whore was a pimp. Those men truly ruled the underground with their love of money, crime, and disrespect for women. It sickened me and only fueled my hate.

As I passed, women offered cheap blowjobs and sex. The group of us scooted past them. They smelled like piss and sex, and I knew the clothes they wore were dirty. Half of them were stoned out of their mind, barely able to make eye contact or keep their heads from bobbing. I knew the horrid side of the business but hadn’t realized it had gotten so bad.

Whispers of meth, heroine, and getting the next fix echoed through the halls. I tried not to stare at them or make eye contact. I often felt like I alone could save the world, but I knew that was a lost cause. I tried once. None of the women wanted to leave, regardless of the protection I offered them. This life was what they knew. This life was what they wanted. Most of them felt as if they weren't good enough to do anything else with themselves; some didn't want to. It saddened me and pissed me off all at the same time.

We entered a room full of gangsters and pimps. Most of them were cowards, but some tried to fight. They were no match for our strength and wits. Although the guns were there for protection, I kept mine strapped across my back and fought with my hands. Too much anger raged inside of me and I needed to release my hatred physically. So I did. Once we cleared the room, we made our way up a set of stairs and turned left. We regrouped ourselves, discussed our tactics, and then entered.

I looked around and saw the hundreds of men and women seated around a glass room that acted as a sex stage for the viewers. Two people were inside. After fighting my way through groups of men, the last thing I imagined seeing was my brother straddling Jennifer in front of a fucking audience. My heart dropped in my chest. I gritted my teeth before swinging the rifle from my back, and shooting rounds into glass that encapsulated them. Men stood and rushed me as women screamed in horror. Did they really think they were fucking safe here in the pits of this shithole?

Abbot fired shots around the room, taking out anyone who came close to me. I wanted to kill them all. That thread that held me together finally snapped and the last bit of my control diminished. Shards of glass shattered across the ground and I went to Luke as he pulled up his underwear and quickly put on his pants.

"What the fuck?" I yelled. I grabbed him by his shirt and slammed my fist into his face. I pushed him to the ground on top of the glass and straddled his body as I continued to slam my knuckles into his face. Luke didn't struggle or push me away. He just took it. Took all of it. My anger. My frustration. My hate. Luke absorbed it all.

"You're fucking despicable," I added.

Abbot grabbed my shirt in his fists and forced me away from Luke. "Stop. Finn. Stop," Abbot said, so calmly that it caught me off guard. I heaved and panted as Luke stood with a bloodied face.

"I deserved that," he said, running his hand across his face.

I tried to move toward him, give him round two, but Abbot blocked me.

"This was planned, Finnley."

Abbot greeted Luke with a hug. "I should have let him give it to you a little longer. Might not have been able to see out of those eyes tomorrow though."

"I didn't think you would show, fucker. Goddamn you were almost too late."

Shock covered my face. "What the fuck?"

I looked between Luke and Abbot, and they smiled.

"Yeah, man. I've been keeping tabs on Luke and where he has been since he left Paris. We didn't tell you because you can sometimes act like the fucking hulk and if he would have told you before I made it here, you might not be standing strong."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Jennifer made a low-pitched moan, and I pushed my way past them. Fucking antics.

"Jenn?" I leaned over the bed and moved her hair out of her face. She was clammy and not completely with me. I pulled her panties up and covered her with my jacket.

"What did you fucking do to her? What did you give her?"

"Rohypnol. But before you flip your shit it was a very small dose. Not like last time," Luke said.

"She's allergic you sick fuck."

I stood and pushed Luke with every bit of my strength in the chest. Abbot shook his head in disapproval. Luke regained his footing and sighed.

"No. She isn't allergic. She almost overdosed before. There is a difference." Luke's tone stayed indifferent. He wouldn't push me right now, not when I had nothing holding me back.

He should have told me. He should have warned me. I went and saw him at his house and he knew where she was. How could he look me in the eye when he knew how upset I was with her disappearance? We would have a long talk about this once we were all safe.

"We need to get the fuck out of here. Now," I said.

I smoothed her hair over her forehead, which was chopped to shreds. I held the strands in my fingers and a part of me broke inside. Looking at her like this, she seemed so helpless. This was not Jennifer. She was a strong woman, but at this moment, I realized how frail she really was. I wrapped my arms around her and held her.

"Jennifer. Jennifer, please wake up."

Abbot's men surrounded us as gunfire shot through the room. Each of them split off to clear the room and surrounding hallways. They took people out one by one, and the only part of me that still cared held Jennifer. Luke stared at Jennifer and me on the bed. We were the only ones in the room. We couldn't leave until I knew we would make it out safely.

"I'm so sorry," Luke said.

I swallowed, and as I formed my words, that's when Jesse came up behind him from the shadows. She held a pistol to my brother's head with an evil grimace on her face that was directed at me. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, but all too fast.

"Jesse?"

Shock covered me and I barely comprehended the scenario.

"You should have fucking loved me back, Finnley."

She loaded a round in the chamber, and I heard it click.

"You should have fucked her, Luke. I told you not to cross me. I warned you," she said and burst into laughter. "I told you not to make me question you."

I moved Jennifer from my lap, laid her on the bed, and stood.

"Jesse."

"You broke my fucking heart," she screamed. Tears streamed down her face.

"I loved you. I would have done anything for you. I would have died for you. Killed for you. Oh… I will kill." Her words trailed off, and I knew that what I was dealing with was more than an infatuation.

"Jesse. Come here." I opened my arms. I would hold her. I would squeeze the fucking life out of her if I got my arms around her, but I needed my brother out of the line of fire. I would lie.

"Come here. Come to me. I care for you."

She lowered the gun, and for a moment, I thought she would do it willingly.

"No. You're a fucking liar." She moved the gun from my brother's head and pointed it directly at me. Her nostrils flared with rage, and I opened my palms to her.

"Please, Jesse."

"You know why I took her? Because I wanted you to hurt the same way you hurt me. I wanted you to be without something that you want. I want you to understand what it feels like to lose someone you love."

"I know what it feels like to lose someone I love. My wife. I loved her, Jesse, and she's dead. I may not love you the same way you love me, and I'm sorry for that, but I do care about you," I said.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry," she said and slowly squeezed the trigger on the gun. Luke turned around and slammed his fist into her face, and when the gun went off, I felt a burning sensation rip through my side. I hunched over and fell to my knees. I touched the side of my shirt, and my hand came away red. Another man appeared from the shadows and began fighting with Luke. He was able to pull the gun away from Jesse, and the man and Jesse struggled to get away. Luke chased after them. I heard shots being fired in the distance. The last thing I remembered was the gun dropping to the ground, and Luke laying me down and pulling up my shirt. The look on his face when he saw it. I looked down and saw ripped flesh and blood. The pain was too intense.

"You'll be okay," he said. "Mean people always live forever."

"Asshole," I whispered, and he smiled.

"That's you. I'm going to get you out of here."

"And Jennifer."

"Yes, and Jennifer, I promise."

The pain shot through me more intensely when I tried to sit up, and I sucked in a wavering breath. Screaming and yelling filled the room when Abbot and his men entered.

"Bloody hell. I can't leave you two alone for five minutes."

Sable, a bulky man with a handlebar mustache that curled on the ends, helped me to my feet. Once I was standing, he wrapped his arm around my waist and steadied me. Luke walked beside me with Jennifer dangling in his arms.

"You were going to fuck her. You bastard," I mumbled.

"I wouldn't have. Abbot told me to play along, that he would be here tonight. I didn't think I would be in a room full of people though. That threw me for a fucking loop," Luke said.

"I wish you would have told me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I had to do this. Jesse wanted to kill her and almost did several times. If I wouldn't have been here..."

I turned my head and looked over at my brother. Seriousness covered his face.

"Jesse is a fucking sociopath. A lunatic and egotistical maniac. We aren't safe. She won't stop until we are all dead or until she has you."

I swallowed and saw actual fear in his eyes.

"Neither of those things will ever fucking happen."

Thirty-six

Strong hands held my body tight. Slightly tilting my head to view my capturer, I saw a face that I had learned to disregard. My hate lingered. Luke said he tried to save my life, but after everything, could he really be trusted? What part did he play? He wasn't the ringleader, but rather a caged tiger. With everything I had, I slammed my slack hands at his chest. Weak from the drugs, my world shook.

"Shh. It’s going to be okay," Luke said.

We traveled forward but weren’t alone. Several footsteps shuffled as we walked, but I couldn’t see who surrounded us. The show must be over. Did Luke have sex with me? I wanted to remember. I needed to remember what happened, but the memory didn't exist. Each time they incapacitated me, they took away a little piece of my life. Life. Jesse would end mine without thinking twice.

I panicked.

Could Luke really save me from her and the men that seemed to do whatever she said? I let out a whimper as fear consumed me.

"Jennifer?" A voice, one that I never thought I'd hear again, spoke.

I couldn’t see Finnley because of the way Luke held me in his arms, but I tried. I struggled. I needed to see him. I needed to know he was real and not a figment of the drugs that mingled with my blood.

"You’re safe now. I’m here."

I stared at him. Water streamed down my face, and I realized I was crying, crying because he had come for me. He wiped away the tears that continued to fall.

"Are you real?" I whispered, not sure if I spoke or just imagined it.

Finnley laughed. Then his face distorted and he winced. "As real as I'll ever be, Miss Downs."

A man with blond shaggy hair grabbed Finnley's shoulder and spoke into his ear. "We have to get the fuck out of here. Now. You need a doctor."

I tried to focus on Finn, the man who visited, and sometimes haunted, my dreams. He pushed out a smile and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear. "I’m never letting you out of my reach again." His words echoed and everything dulled. Good, I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs, but no words formed.

My eyelids were like glue and once they closed, I couldn’t open them. I dove back into an unconscious pool of my fears. I screamed to be released, to wake up, to be back in the dank hall looking into Finnley’s eyes wondering why he needed a doctor. But instead, I was in a horrible inescapable realm.

A woman stood in front of me: my mother, bruised and broken. I focused on her face and eerie smile, as she transformed into Jesse. My blood curdled. The drugs allowed the dark thoughts to capture me and run freely. I hated it.

I felt pain shoot through my body, and I was back in the hallway. Luke didn't hold me anymore, and the cold cement felt icy on my half naked body. Finn leaned over me with fear in his eyes.

In the faint distance, a gunshot resonated and screams confirmed Finn's expression.

"Can you walk? Jennifer. Focus. Can you walk? The exit is straight ahead. Right up those stairs."

More gunshots resonated behind us and with every ounce of strength I had, I forced myself into a sitting position. Although my world shook, I knew I could do this. I didn't want to die here.

My balance wasn't right, but Finn steadied me. I wrapped my arm around his waist and felt something wet on my fingers. When I looked down, I saw dark liquid, blood. We made eye contact, and he shook his head no.

"We will worry about it when we are out of this fucking shithole." Hell hath no fury like Finnley fucking Felton on a mission, injured or not.

Cages lined the walls, and women screamed and reached out for us as we passed. I remembered being in this hallway once, and I saw the end staring me in the face. Right around the corner we would climb the stairs that led to the exit on the street.

Everything quickly became mass chaos as the blond man unlocked the temporary prison cells. Gunfire zipped through the hall. Frightened women ran past Finn and me without looking back. The traffickers would not be forgiving, and my fears consumed me. Would I ever be safe? Would Finnley? While winning the battle of saving me, they had inevitably started a war. Somehow I knew Finnley and his men didn't care.

Finnley turned around and looked behind us. Other than the women running through the hallways, we were alone. He yelled for his entourage to hurry but it was drowned out in the mass chaos that surrounded us.

We rounded the corner alone, and a snarling man blocked our way to the stairs. The exit was on the other side of him, and I knew we wouldn't get past without a fight. My legs went out from under me, and Finnley used his strength to hold me.

"Move," Finn said, demanded him, but instead, he laughed like a maniac. He wrapped his arm more snuggly around me but as the man came forward, Finn moved me behind him. I steadied myself against the wall.

Finnley delivered blow after blow, and the giant of a man was on his knees. Adrenaline fueled him. Before walking away, Finn kicked him in the stomach and the man crumbled over on the ground. Not able to stand any longer, my legs went from under me, and I fell to the floor. Too much happened at once, and I wasn't in the best of conditions. Finn bent down over me.

"Let's get out of here."

When I reached up for him, I saw a brute of a man looming over us with a knife in his hand.

"No." I tried to force out, but it was nothing more than a whisper when I saw the flash of a blade disappear and watched Finn fall to his knees. The man lifted the knife above his head, ready to strike again.

I struggled to move as Finnley searched my face. I crawled toward him and tried to scream as he doubled over.

The blond man rounded the corner. As the brute brought the knife down for another round, one single gunshot escaped from the gun in Blondie's hands.

"What a stupid motherfucker."

The man went slack on top of Finn, and Blondie kicked him onto the pavement.

"I should fucking shoot him again for good measure."

Finnley lay without any movement on the ground. Blondie lifted his shirt and screamed to the men that rounded the corner.

Blood was everywhere. I couldn't look.

Death—something so inevitable for all things living—significantly changed my outlook on life, and I didn't want to live through it again. I was tired of losing people I cared for, and a part of me desperately needed Finnley. My parents’ death, leaving Texas for Vegas, the Bellagio, The Elite, Abby, Luke, Finnley, Jesse, London, Paris, the kidnapping, all of those events led to this specific moment.

Time, the only enemy I had, the only thing that we as humans continuously worked against, seemed to control my every move. Timing could be cruel or brilliant. Timing created love or made wars. At that moment, timing left me alone in my darkness, without a clue of what the future held. I became a slave to the ticking seconds, as Finnley lay on the cold concrete, lifeless and bleeding.

Luke rushed to his brother with horror in his eyes. Muffled words, and screams left him. Shock mixed with fear and I couldn't move. Strong hands lifted me, and everything went black. The disbelief of what had happened physically overtook me at the wrong time. I needed to know that the only man I loved was alive and okay. The world dripped away to nothing as we climbed the stairs and exited onto the street.

Thirty-seven

The cool breeze hummed through the open window and woke me from my dreams. Stark white walls blinded me, and I squinted as my eyes adjusted. My back ached from lying in the same place, but I didn't know how much time had passed.

I moved from under the fluffy blanket and closed the window. The mountains stood strong in the distance as the clouds swept across the pink-hued sky.

"Still in Vegas," I whispered. Still in Vegas.

Bruises lined my arms, and the thought of Finnley almost brought me to my knees. The memory of him being stabbed, and his body falling slack in the dark hallway, replayed itself. I covered my mouth to stop the screams. My heart raced and I had to find him.

I opened the door and the blond-haired man that had killed to protect Finnley stood, patiently. He shot a man, I watched him do it, and I had no doubt in my mind that he would do it again.

"Sleeping beauty has awoke. I'm Abbot." He stretched his hand toward me, and I took it. Abbot had a firm grasp with dry hands. Vegas seemed to do that to people.

"Jennifer. And you should really get some lotion."

He smirked at me then smiled.

"They told me you were outspoken. You'd have to be, to be able to put up with Finnley's bullshit. And I saw the look on your face when you opened the door. Prince Charming is fine."

"Where is he?"

Abbot leaned against the wall and pointed at the door at the end of the hall. I didn't stand around for chitchat.

I ran to the end of the hall, and before opening the door, I sucked in a deep breath. What if he didn't look well? Horrible thoughts coursed through me. Then I thought back to the first time I met Finnley, really met him, at The Elite office. It seemed like so long ago, like decades had passed since that day when I called him Finnley instead of Mr. Felton. I knew then that he'd be dangerous for me when I first laid eyes on him and then after I heard that sexy accent. But under that danger was something more, something caring and loving, still assholish, but I loved it.

With anger blazing, Finnley Felton saved me from the pits of hell and risked his life for me. For me? Who was I? Jennifer Downs. Most likely to succeed. Prude. No, those descriptors were no longer me. I was Jennifer Downs. Smart-ass Texan who was in love with a smart-ass man.

I opened the door.

Finnley lay in bed with his hands tucked under his pillow, sleeping on his side. Messy hair lay flat on his forehead, and his lips parted as he lightly breathed.

My breath hitched as I walked forward. Why was I so nervous about this? Maybe because I had never seen him so vulnerable.

An empty chair next to the bed coaxed me forward, and I sat. I couldn’t stop staring at him, and all the while, I felt like all of it was my fault. If I hadn’t have come to Vegas, then I wouldn’t have met him, and all of this wouldn’t have happened. Regret washed over me like a cool summer rain. This couldn’t happen again.

"I’m sorry," I whispered and placed my face in my hands. "I’m so sorry. This is my fault."

A light touch grazed my arm, and I jerked my hands away. Brilliant green eyes stared at me. I opened my mouth and closed it.

He winced and pushed himself up on the bed. Then he opened his arms and motioned for me to come. I did without hesitation.

When I sat on the bed next to him, he sucked air between his teeth. He placed his hand on my leg and rested his head against the pillow.

Silence lingered.

I didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t speak, but I wanted to talk about everything that happened. I wanted to tell him how horrible Jesse was to me and the things she made me do. I wanted to tell him how I thought Luke was a terrible man. I wanted to tell him that when I was lost in the darkness, the thought of him guided me back to reality. His smile, his smart mouth, and the way his hair barely tucked behind his ear. How he could wear anything or nothing and still be just as sexy. But it didn’t seem like a good time. Would there ever be a good time?

"Don’t be sorry, Jennifer. You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do, so stop being regretful. I can see it painted across your face. I do what I want, when I want… remember."

I leaned my head on the same pillow and positioned myself to face him. I made sure to not make any sudden movements.

"Right. Will that ever change?" We smiled at each other, and he barely shook his head. The answer would always be no.

"I've missed you so much. I didn't think you'd ever find me."

"I will always find you."

If I were away, it certainly wasn't because I wanted to be.

I ran my fingers across his lips. "I need to go back to Texas, even if it's for just a few weeks. When I was kidnapped, I realized that all of my life I've run away from my problems instead of facing them head-on. I’m ready to fight my demons. I’m ready to put my parents’ death to rest and really move forward with living."

I moved from his face to his hair, and he closed his eyes. The moment continued to push forward, and I didn’t want it to end.

"I never thought I would be stabbed and shot while trying to save you. I didn’t figure that into the equation."

I opened my eyes, and he stared at me. "Finnley."

He placed his finger over my lips to shush me.

"I’m not finished. I don’t regret it. I don’t regret any moment I’ve spent with you. Jennifer Downs, sometimes love is worth dying for. Sometimes love is worth risking everything. Life’s been an experience for me since I met you, a roller coaster ride that is never ending, but one that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Since I met you, I have truly lived. And if you want to go home, I’ll go with you, because I am not letting you go alone. Not while—"

"Not while what?"

"Not while… Not while Jesse hunts you. This is far from over and I don't think she will stop until you're dead. But that's not going to fucking happen. I won't let it."

The elephant in the room grew at a smothering rate. They must not have found her when they saved me. Bile rose in the pit of my stomach, and I thought I would be sick. The psychopath was on the loose, and she had my name on her tongue. She wouldn’t stop until… I wouldn’t think about it. I couldn’t.

"You’re safe with me. I will never let anything happen to you. Ever. I will die making sure you’re okay."

Anger flashed on his face, then washed away.

"My mother says I look like my father. That we have the same build, hair, and laugh."

He ran his fingers through my hair as he changed the subject.

"Franklin is a good man. He raised me like his own son. He was the only real father I ever knew. But I couldn't help but wonder about the man who created me. When I went to Columbia, a few professors that taught my father were still there. I was a spitting image but with different eyes, they would say. Apparently, he never lost an argument and was eager to succeed. Undoubtedly, I am my father's child, but he wasn't invincible, and neither am I. I understand that now. My mother never got over my father. People may die, but love can live forever, and I want to be here for you, Jennifer. I want to share my days with you."

I sat up and looked into his eyes. He smiled, and I leaned in and kissed him. When our lips touched, a jolt traveled through my body, and my breathing increased. His kisses deepened, so I moved closer to him. He winced.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"It's alright. I've missed you so much, and now that you're here, there's this." He turned the blanket down. I glanced at his bare chest and the bandages on his side. "Me, being this useless. Never thought that would fucking happen."

"You're not useless. You're injured, there's a difference."

"It could be months or years until I'm back to normal. May have to go to physical therapy too, but I'm returning to work as early as next week. The show must go on."

The door clicked and Luke entered. My body tensed, and Finnley rubbed his thumb over my fingers. I hadn't seen Luke since… I couldn't relive it. I didn't want to remember the horrible things he said to me.

Finnley searched my face but a reaction never came. I'd learned to shut Luke out weeks ago. Luke stood at the doorway, and Finnley patted my leg and sent me away with a head nod. I looked at him.

"Go on. You two need to talk. Don't prolong it."

I laughed at his assertiveness. One quick movement and he wouldn't be so big and bad, but even I knew the discussion between Luke and I needed to happen so we could move on. But I dreaded it. I sighed and slowly slid off the bed. Luke exited, and before I followed, I looked at Finnley, and he smiled. I pursed my lips at him and shook my head. When I closed the door, Luke stood against the wall with his arms crossed. I did the same thing.

His eyes were bruised, and his lip was busted. I couldn't help but stare at how beaten and broken his face looked. He looked like hell.

"So," he said.

"So."

We stood there for minutes, not saying a single word. Abbot hummed Christmas music, and we both turned our heads and stared at him.

"Scrooges," he said before walking down the stairs.

"What's today?" I asked.

"December twenty-third ."

"Christmas is in two days."

I had lost three and a half weeks of my life. Three long, agonizing weeks full of psychological games.

"I did it to save you, Jennifer."

"You could have at least fucking warned me. Shed some light on the plan."

"You were being watched while you were there. It had to seem real to you."

I scoffed. "Do you think I'm an idiot, Luke?"

"There was no truth in what I said and did. Okay, well maybe some of it, but I never meant to hurt you. If she had an inkling of me faking, Jesse would have killed you on principle alone. She knew I cared about you. We were nothing more than pawns in her game, and I played her game for you. I hated every minute of it."

"It wasn't enjoyable for me either."

"Because I did what I had to, you are here with my brother, alive. The way you're supposed to be. I know you won't trust me for a while, but it was for your sake. It killed me every time I had to treat you like trash. It killed me to hear you say the things you did, to have you look at me with so much disgust in your eyes. I had to hit you so hard that I left welts, and I have to live with that. I knew you hated me. But having you hate me, and knowing you were alive, made it all worth it, and I would do it again. I had you and my brother's best interests in mind, and I always will."

"Luke."

"You don't have to forgive me for the things I did and said."

"Luke. I get it. I completely understand. I do. It's just hard to look at you, and it's awkward. You scared me. You were fucking cruel. I know I will get over it, but I need time. You cared enough to be someone that you aren't, I hope."

Luke laughed and opened his arms. I hesitated and then went to him. There was no sexual tension between us, nothing more than two friends. It would take a while for me to forget the things he said and did, but eventually I would. Could I really trust him though? He loved his brother, he loved me, and he wanted us together. The lengths that he went through made that quite obvious.

"What happened to your face?" I asked.

"Finnley beat the shit out of me."

We released our embrace and exchanged a small moment before I walked away.

"Thank you." I grabbed the doorknob and turned to look at him before I returned to Finnley. The last time I said that to him was in London after he told me to go to Finn. I let out a sarcastic laugh, because I had come full circle.

Luke nodded his head and gave me another one of his signature smiles before turning and walking away. One day he would make someone very happy, and he deserved that.