Текст книги "Vintage (Volume Two)"

Автор книги: Lisa Suzanne

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six

Parker was leaning against the wall across from the bathroom door in the small hallway that led to the restrooms when I exited.

He grinned. “You were in there forever. I was debating walking in to see if you were okay.”

His smile faded as he focused in on my expression. “What happened?” he asked, his voice sharp.

“Gideon found my journal in his wife’s suitcase.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

I nodded as my eyes filled with tears. “And he thinks she didn’t do it.”

Parker’s arms wrapped around me. I stood there, helpless and furious as he held me. One of his hands rubbed my back while the other brushed my hair away from my temple.

I loved it when he did that.

It was such a simple move, but it was packed with earnestness and kindness and this genuine expression of adoration.

“How could he take her side over mine?” My voice sounded whiney to my own ears.

“Babe, he’s not choosing sides. You know that, right?”

“No, Parker. I don’t know that.”

“It’s not some battle between you and his wife. Believe me, you would win every time if it was.”

I shuddered in a deep breath, and he pulled back and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

“I know it’s not a competition,” I said. “But it hurts that he believes she’s innocent when I know she isn’t. It all adds up, Parker. She wasn’t at the show the night my journal went missing and then it mysteriously appeared in her suitcase? I smell bullshit.”

A voice sounded over the loudspeaker. “Seventy-eight, don’t be late!”

“That’s our number,” Parker said. “Let’s just give it time and see how everything works out, okay? And you know that I’m always on your side, right? No matter what?”

I nodded, and he kissed me again before he took my hand and we walked toward the pick-up counter. I spotted George eating already at a table by himself in the corner. He preferred to eat alone, to make it less obvious that he was actually there to be a bodyguard.

Parker had been right: it was the best meal I had ever eaten. I scarfed down my beef sandwich, dipped my boiling hot French fries in cheese sauce, and washed it all down with a shake made out of chocolate cake and ice cream.

Our meal was over all too soon, and we were back in the car. “Hop on the Edens. Should be faster than State Street,” I heard Parker tell George before we headed to our next mysterious destination.

It was mid-afternoon, a little before the rush hour traffic was set to begin. There was still a lot of traffic, though.

We pulled into some private entrance at US Cellular Field and George parked the car. I wasn’t sure how he managed to navigate an unfamiliar city, not to mention crazy venues and secret entrances, but George was a pro at what he did.

We exited the car, my hand clutched tightly in Parker’s, George following close behind us. We made our way through a back entrance, and Parker produced three tickets to the usher.

It meant a lot to me that he wanted to experience a Chicago White Sox game with me in his hometown. I thought of his “lucky hat,” the one he’d left with me. I knew that the Sox were meaningful to him, and for him to share that with me showed me the intensity of his feelings for me.

We made our way through the venue and up to a suite. It was far too extravagant for the three of us, but it was private and comfortable.

I had to wonder who the hell was paying for it. I knew that suites didn’t come cheap, but I decided not to worry about it. It was Parker’s money to spend, and if he wanted to take me to a Sox game and show me a good time, I was damn well going to put the shit with Jadyn out of my mind so that I could enjoy myself.

We walked down toward the seating area and looked out over the field. The grass was mowed in that perfect way you only ever saw at ballparks. It was a beautiful day, and I was happy to be spending it next to Parker.

“This is awesome,” I said with a smile. I looked over at the man I loved. A touch of anxiety plagued his eyes for just a moment, but then Parker grinned that boyish grin that only came out once in a while.

“Isn’t it? I’ve always loved this park.”

“What time does the game start?”

He glanced at the clock on his cell phone. “About a half hour.”

“So we’re early?”

“A little.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Got anything in mind?”

I nodded. “Can we walk around the stadium?”

His eyes lit up. “I figured you’d just want to stay in here.”

“Let’s go wherever you want.”

We headed out toward the elevators. George shadowed us, but I didn’t really care. I felt carefree and excited to be in one of my boyfriend’s favorite places on Earth.

We headed down to the main level. Parker led the way, and we ended up in the gift shop. I knew I wanted a souvenir to commemorate our time together at this park that meant something so special to Parker, so I bought myself a black Sox baseball cap.

Maybe I didn’t really so much buy it for myself, though. Maybe I bought it so that Parker would have a spare whenever he came over to my place.

We walked around the main level, and Parker took me down toward the field to check things out up close.

Then it was time to make our way back to our suite because the game was getting ready to start.

When we walked back in, a girl with glossy, long, dark hair was sitting by herself in one of the seats that overlooked the field. I glanced over at Parker.

The look on his face was a mixture of nerves and anxiety, and it finally dawned on me who she was.

It was Parker’s sister.

Parker took a deep breath. “Kimmy!” he yelled, and she turned around.

A huge smile stretched across her face. She stood and ran toward her brother.

He wrapped his arms around her in a hug. I couldn’t tell what she looked like because she was wearing sunglasses. I was dying of curiosity. Did she look like her brother? Which parent did they each resemble?

This was my first glimpse into the real Parker James. He’d been slow to reveal personal information to me, and I wondered if I’d get more out of Kimmy in one afternoon at US Cellular Field than I had in all the months that Parker and I had been together.

“Introduce me to your fiancée!” Kimmy exclaimed.

She pulled off her sunglasses, and a gorgeous Asian girl smiled back at me.

So apparently Parker and his sister were not related by blood.

News to me.

“Kimmy, this is my fiancée, Roxanna. Roxanna, this is my sister, Kimmy.”

I smiled timidly, suddenly shy. It was out of character for me, but the “fiancée” comment threw me for a loop. I figured he’d be honest with his sister, of all people. I figured he’d tell her it was a sham.

But apparently we were faking it for everyone. The only people who knew it wasn’t real were my dad, Parker, and me. Possibly George.

And the more we faked it, the more real it began to feel.

I stuck my hand out to shake Kimmy’s, and she leaned in for a hug. “We’re going to be sisters,” she squealed.

She was nothing like what I would have expected out of Parker’s sister. I wasn’t sure why, but I expected someone who was his opposite. He tended to be confident and outgoing, so I expected someone meeker. But she was a lot like him, at least from my first impression.

My eyes met Parker’s over her shoulder. He shrugged and then smiled sheepishly at me. I grinned back at him.

The game was starting, so we took our seats. I sat beside Kimmy, and Parker sat a row behind the two of us. George stayed in the corner of the suite, his shrewd eyes scanning everything.

“So tell me everything about your brother,” I said to Kimmy.

She looked behind us at him, and then she leaned in toward me. “This game won’t be longer than a couple of hours. Give me your number so we have more time.” She laughed heartily, the kind of laugh that made everyone around her laugh, too, and I giggled along with her.

I liked her already, and I was just getting to know her.

“Tell me all about you first,” she said.

“Not much to tell. I work in a store called Vintage. I like drinking Coke. You may have heard that my father is a musician.”

“Can you two keep it down?” Parker complained behind us. “I’m trying to focus on the game.”

Kimmy rolled her eyes at me, and we both giggled again.

We helped ourselves to a couple of beers, and then we settled into some chairs off to the side, away from George and down a few seats from Parker so we wouldn’t interrupt his game viewing.

“He’s the best big brother a girl could ask for,” she started. “I was adopted into his family when he was about five, and he accepted me in without question and protected me from the start.”

“Do you mind if I ask where you were adopted from?”

“China. After Parker, our mom couldn’t have another baby. Both of our parents wanted more, so they decided to adopt. I lucked out with Parker.”

I noticed that she said she lucked out with Parker. There was no mention of their parents.

It just added more to the mystery of the James family.

“Oh, come on!” Parker yelled, and we both turned our attention to the field, where we saw two of the White Sox players running toward the outfield wall after someone from the other team hit a ball between the two of them.

After the ball had been recovered and the next player was up to bat, Kimmy and I resumed our conversation. “He’s always been in love with the Sox. He played baseball in high school.”

“I always found baseball players kind of sexy,” I said with a cheeky grin.

She wrinkled her nose. “That’s my brother you’re talking about.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. He lights up in a new way around you. It’s pretty refreshing to see him settling down instead of playing the field.”

A cheer roared up from the crowd and cut our conversation short, but her words about her brother warmed me over for the rest of the day.

Between drinking beer and watching the game, we didn’t get much of a chance for more gossip, but if first impressions meant anything, I absolutely loved Parker’s sister.

He only let me in on the pieces he wanted to, and learning about him through a family member was a precious, rare commodity that I cherished.

All too soon we were saying our goodbyes, exchanging numbers, and getting back into the car. George drove us back through downtown to our hotel, the Four Seasons Chicago.

We checked into our room. It was still early, but Parker had to meet up with the guys for the next day’s performance, and I had to track down my dad and get my journal.

I kind of wanted to just send George to do it, but it was my journal and my responsibility.

But George tagged along anyway after Parker headed out.

I wondered who was protecting Parker when he was on his own. Keith had been attacked; what made anybody think that Parker was safe?

George led me to my dad’s room. I knocked on the door, my heart beating faster as nerves kicked in. I didn’t want to see Jadyn. I couldn’t be responsible for my actions if she answered the door. I didn’t trust her, and I planned to make that very clear to her.

Luckily for her, my dad answered the door.

“CC,” he said, reaching to pull me into a hug.

I darted out of his reach. “I’m just here for my stolen property.”

“Don’t be like that.” His voice was a soft plea, but I wasn’t going to let him get to me. I was too upset and the betrayal was too fresh.

“Just hand it over and I’ll be on my way.”

He sighed and glanced over at George, who was standing behind me. I imagined George shrugging, as if to say that he should just give me what I wanted.

My dad walked to another room for a moment, and then he returned. He held my journal in his hands.

I moved to grab it from him, but he held it back from me. I felt hot tears burning my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them fall.

“I really don’t think she took it. You don’t know her like I do.”

“I know she’s jealous of the time you spend with me. I know she doesn’t like me. And I know she happened to be missing the night this was stolen out of my room. It’s fine if you want to believe her over me, but I refuse to sit here and listen to this bullshit.”

“I’m not picking sides, CC. I am trying not to place blame on someone who is innocent. You want the truth?”

I nodded, and he lowered his voice.

“I don’t know what to believe. I see the facts, and I want to believe my wife when she cries to me that she didn’t do it. But I don’t know what the fuck is going on anymore.”

He shoved my journal toward me with a heavy sigh.

“Take it and just go.”

I grabbed it out of his hands and spun on my heel to head out the door.

I didn’t want to be mad at my dad. I understood that he was stuck in a shitty place. But he wasn’t making any of this easier on me.

George trailed me back to my room. He scanned the room quickly and then left me alone.

I sighed as I settled into the bed I’d be sharing with Parker. As lonely as I’d felt prior to the whole engagement thing, these moments alone in the hotel room really felt kind of nice.

It seemed like I was always mad at somebody. As soon as I forgave my dad for hiring Parker to watch me behind my back, I was mad at Parker for lying to me. And as soon as I forgave Parker, I was mad at my dad again.

It was a vicious circle, and I was kind of ready to just be done with the drama.

I wanted no part of it in the first place, but it somehow managed to find me.

And then I had an epiphany.

This was all my dad’s fault.

Every single shitty thing that had happened traced back to him. Since Damien left, really. He was protecting me from Randy for some reason still unknown to me, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever learn the truth.

It was unfair and unreasonable, but I was stuck. I was professional enough to know I couldn’t just abandon my duties mid-tour, and I didn’t want to, anyway. I liked traveling the country on a bus with Parker.

But I didn’t like everything that came with that. I didn’t like the reason behind my dad inviting me on the tour. I didn’t like the fear that lurked behind every corner.

I opened my journal. It looked exactly like it had before I’d lost it.

I flipped through the pages that contained some of my innermost thoughts. Snippets of thought, really. I never wrote full, complete sentences or paragraphs. It was just a place where I was able to record my thoughts as they came to me.

And so I grabbed the pen off the nightstand and set to work.

seven

“You awake?”

I heard Parker’s soft voice. It sounded far away, and I wasn’t sure if he woke me or if I hadn’t really been sleeping.

I sat up sleepily and rubbed my eyes.

“You’re extra sexy when you’re tired,” he said, sitting on the bed next to me.

I smiled weakly as I drank him in. He was in his signature black clothes. I spotted the Sox hat on the dresser across the room. He ran a hand through his messy hair, and I had the strong desire to do it for him.

“Everything okay?” His eyes landed on the journal that was in my lap. I must’ve fallen asleep writing in it.

I closed it and shrugged, eliciting a look of contempt from the man I had fallen for.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “It’s my dad.”

“What happened?”

“I went to get my journal and he just kept insisting he didn’t think it was Jadyn.”

“What if it wasn’t?” he asked.

I stuck my hands in my hair and pulled. I felt like I was losing my mind. “Are you seriously siding with him?”

Parker grabbed my hands and pulled them toward his lap. “I’m not siding with anybody. I just want you to step back from your anger for one second and imagine if it wasn’t her. What if Randy or one of his guys got in our room and planted it? Wouldn’t you feel shitty for accusing Jade then?”

“The facts speak for themselves. I don’t care if it’s shitty to accuse her. I live by the phrase, ‘Apologize later.’ I am going with my gut here, and my gut says it was her.”

“Okay, babe. Then it was her. What do you want to do about it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean are you going to let it ruin your day, the tour, your life? Are you going to confront her? Are you going to let it go? What’s next?”

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

“Well sitting here with all this anger isn’t going to do anybody any good.”

He was right. The words were harsh to my ears, and it was certainly something I didn’t want to hear, but I couldn’t deny the truth.

“Subject change.”

“Verbal dodgeball?”

I nodded. “Deflecting the conversation from me back to you. Tell me more about Kimmy and your family.”

“I figured you’d at least let me get away with twenty-four hours before I’d have to give you more,” he said dryly.

“Nope. Spill it, my friend.”

“I’d rather not get into the subject of my family right now. Suffice it to say that Kimmy was adopted into my family and we grew close.”

I thought back to the snippets I’d written in my journal and the connection I had made. “Does she have anything to do with why your tattoos are all Chinese symbols?”

His eyes darted to mine. “Good guess.”

“What did you have to protect her from, Parker?”

“I already said I didn’t want to get into it.”

“So you had to protect her from your family?”

He stood from the bed and started pacing.

“You want the story? Here’s the goddamn story.” I was frankly shocked at his tone. I watched as his eyes moved around the room. His focus was on anything except me. I didn’t want to hear it like this, whatever his story was. I wanted him to tell me because he wanted to. But I’d pushed him, and now we’d gone too far to turn back.

He walked over to the minibar and pulled out a tiny bottle of whiskey. He shot it down before he started talking.

“I feel like I’ve been protecting people my entire life. Always from other people. Always people I care about who need someone looking out for them. Let me begin with my asshole father.”

He heaved in a deep breath, as if this was a struggle for him. He stopped near the window and gazed out. He leaned forward, his hands on the windowsill. I couldn’t help but take in his tall frame. He was always strong, but leaning forward on straight arms, elbows locked, showed his vulnerability. His black shirt stretched across his sturdy shoulders. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. I wanted to stop him from telling his story. I wanted him to know that he could wait, that he could tell me on his own terms. That he could come to me, that I would hold him while he spoke whenever he was ready.

And just as I opened my mouth to stop him, he continued talking.

“My dad resented me because it was my fault my mother couldn’t have another child after me. So they adopted Kimmy. Everything was fine when we were young, and then around the time we were in middle school, my dad lost his job. Rather than trying to find a new one, his life’s goal became getting to the bottom of as many bottles of alcohol as he could. He was a mean drunk—mean to me, mean to Kim, mean to my mother.”

He stared out the window, thinking about his past. His voice lowered. “Eventually it killed him, all the drinking. But not before he inflicted pain on everyone around him.”

“Oh God, Parker,” I said, wishing I had some way to comfort him. His body was rigid.

He stared out over the city of Chicago, the Windy City that he had called home for the majority of his life. I was trying to give him space, but I wasn’t sure if space was what he needed from me.

“I both love and hate coming back here. I hate what it means, what it represents. I hate my dad. I hate what he did to Kimmy, to my mom. To me. He was trash, and I grew up having to protect my sister and my mom.” He was lost in thought, expressing his innermost feelings aloud to me. This was a major breakthrough for us. It marked the first time he openly let me in.

But I could tell how difficult this was for him, and I felt guilty that I’d pushed him into talking.

His voice broke when he spoke again. “Except I failed where my mom was concerned.”

Failed? What did that even mean? I wasn’t sure how to break his monologue to ask. He’d revealed much more than I’d bargained for when I had started this conversation. I’d just wanted him to let me in. I had no idea what I’d been asking for, but if this was who he was, I needed to know.

I needed to know because I loved him. I wanted to know the beautiful parts of him, but I wanted to know the ugly parts, too.

I wanted it all.

“When my dad started drinking, I started writing. My lyrics are based on my life. My dad thought I was a sucker for trying to protect the people he was trying to hurt. He made me want to give up on everything, especially when he told me what he really thought about his son becoming a musician.”

His reference to being a “sucker” was immediately clear. The words tattooed on his torso flashed through my mind.

“Trial and Error” wasn’t about some broken relationship he’d had with a woman.

It was about his father.

I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure how to put the lid back on the can of worms I had opened. I had started this, and now that I knew the truth, I needed to see it through. I needed to find a way to provide the comfort that Parker deserved. He didn’t want pity. He didn’t want sympathy. He was too masculine for that shit. But he needed to be loved.

And as angry as I’d been about the lies for my protection and the omissions of truth, I knew that I was the one meant to love him.

I could sense the hatred he felt for his father. That had to be why he’d grown so close to my own dad. He’d only had his father’s presence in his life until he was in middle school; after that, he’d had to grow up far faster than anyone should have to in order to protect the women in his life. I still didn’t know what he had meant about his mother when he said he’d failed to protect her, but in time, I was sure I’d learn the truth. But this time I wouldn’t force it. This time it would be on Parker’s timeframe.

I stood and walked over to him. I touched his shoulder gently. He still gazed out the window, and our eyes met in the reflection of the glass.

“He killed her, if you’re wondering.”

I didn’t say anything, but I trailed my fingertips from his shoulder down his torso, and then I slipped both of my arms around his waist and gave him a hug from behind.

“It was an accident, but I blame him. I’ll always blame him. Do you have any idea what it’s like to blame someone for something that no one can ever change? I thought once he died that I’d forgive him, but I didn’t. I thought I’d pray for him to rest in peace, but I can’t.”

“You don’t have to, Parker.”

“I wish I could.”

I tightened my arms around him. The only thing I could think of to say was the one cliché I hated when I’d lost Katie. As I tried to think of the right words, he continued.

“She’d just taken the garbage can to the curb. It was dark out. She was in the driveway, and he didn’t see her when he pulled in from whatever bar he’d been trolling.”

I pressed my cheek against the back of his shirt. “And that’s how you lost her?”

He nodded. I didn’t see it because my eyes were squeezed shut, but I felt it.

“How old were you?”

He didn’t move. I felt his voice hum through his back. “Twenty-two.”

“My age. She’s only been gone six years?”

“Yeah. And my dad drank himself to death the night of her funeral.”

The words almost slipped out. I’m so sorry. But my apologies for his past wouldn’t bring back his mother any more than it would bring back Katie. “I had no idea.”

He finally turned to face me. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and wrapped his arms around me. “How could you?”

I shrugged.

“I didn’t want to burden you with the shit I’ve dealt with. It’s hard enough losing one parent, but to lose two within a week of each other? Fucking unbearable.”

“How long did it take you just to feel normal again?” My cheek settled against his heart. The strong, steady beat of it comforted me.

“How long have we known each other?”

“Almost three months, I think.”

“It took me until about three months ago.”

I pulled my cheek from its soft resting spot on his chest and looked up into his eyes. They radiated warmth and authenticity.

“Do you really mean that?”

He nodded, his serious eyes never leaving mine. “It’s what drew me to you. You were the first person I met who made me forget my fucked up family and my fucked up past. You made me look toward the future. It was why I couldn’t stay away from you.”

I pressed a gentle, loving kiss to his lips before I spoke. “You could have any girl you want. Why me?”

“I can’t explain our connection, Jimi. It’s deeper than lust and more than sex. That was all I ever had before I met you. But you give me this peace I’ve never had before. Before you, something was missing. But it isn’t missing anymore. You’re my home. You’re my family. You’re the one on my mind from the second I wake up until I fall asleep, and then I spend the night dreaming about you.”

I felt hot tears prick behind my eyes. He basically just told me that the day we met was the day he was able to start living again. How does anyone deal with words like that? It was an honor I wasn’t prepared to handle.

While I’d felt us moving into the direction of something serious, I was able to blame an awful lot on the fact that my dad had hired him to watch over me. We’d done our share of talking, but this day would be forever immortalized as the day that Parker finally opened up to me. I met his sister, I learned about his parents, and, most importantly, I discovered who Parker James really was beneath the attractive exterior.

He was just as beautiful on the inside. He was damaged, just like I was, but we were working on helping each other mend the brokenness.