Текст книги "Forever with You"

Автор книги: Laurelin Paige

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Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

Except he didn’t. He finished making his drink, then turned back to face Celia.

“Come on, Huds.” Her tone was playful, cajoling, in complete opposition to his. “You act like we never had any fun together.”

“That was a lifetime ago, Celia.” Though he was still merely steps away, his words were distant. “It’s time to move on.”

Celia laughed. “Because of her?”

“Who? Alayna?” A chill ran through my body. Jesus, even when he said my name to someone else, it had the same effect as when he said it to me. “Yes. And no.” He paused. “We aren’t together anymore.”

And hearing him say that—it was as painful as when I’d said it to Mira. The verbalization of it made it so real. So final.

Celia seemed overjoyed with the news. “Am I supposed to be sad?”

“Why would I expect that? That was your intended outcome, after all.” He moved forward, out of my sightline. Then there was another creak of furniture. He’d sat in the chair across from her, I guessed.

I struggled with listening to them talk as I debated with myself—should I scurry to the other side of the doorframe? If he came back to the bar, I’d be better hidden. But if one of them went to the guest bathroom, then I’d be easily seen.

“No,” Celia said, “my intended outcome was that she’d go crazy after your break-up and end up back in her psycho obsession mode.”

I decided to stay put.

“Well, that’s not happening. She’s stronger than you thought.”

And yet, there I was, hiding in Hudson’s bedroom because I’d done exactly as predicted and gone stalker. It crushed me that he could believe otherwise—that he had no understanding of how much he could break me. Did he not get what he’d meant to me?

If he didn’t understand, Celia did. Perhaps it was a female thing. “Maybe. I’m not sure I agree. How long ago was this breakup?”

“A few days now.”

“Oh, give it time. She’ll be back. That girl was head over heels for you. She’s not walking away that easily. Not that type.”

I cringed at the accuracy with which she was describing me. It would fuel me to be strong, I decided. Otherwise, she’d win. Technically, she’d already won—I was here, after all. But if she didn’t know, then she couldn’t take it as a victory, right?

“Celia, stop it.” Hudson’s sharp command drew my attention.

“Are you still sticking to the story that you’re in love with her?”

Her question made my hair stand on end. He’d told her that he loved me…did that mean there’d really been some truth to it?

He didn’t answer her verbally, but his expression must have been in the affirmative because Celia scoffed. “That’s ridiculous, Hudson. You’ve never loved anyone. It’s not in your nature. You’re fascinated with her for some godforsaken reason. But it’s not love.”

“What do you know about love?” He’d never spoke so harshly in my presence.

She laughed again. “Everything you taught me—it’s a fleeting emotion that can be manipulated and fabricated. It’s not real. It’s never real.”

“It’s time you found another teacher. I no longer believe any of that.”

I drew my knees into my chest. He believed in love now—because of me? The discovery tugged at my heart, begging me to reexamine the status of our relationship. Oh, how I wanted to fasten myself to his love. Wanted to turn it into a chance for us to be together.

But I couldn’t. His deceit was too great. It didn’t matter that he fell in love. It was deserved. His just rewards. His karma.

“Maybe I should be the teacher for a while,” Celia suggested. “It’s time to change up the game anyway.”

There was a sound of ice rattling—Hudson shaking his glass, perhaps. Then a pause while he swallowed. “I don’t want to play anymore, Celia.”

“You said that before with Stacy. And you ended up coming around.”

“That was all your game. I gave you a make-out session. That’s all. And it wasn’t for you, it was for her. I don’t know the extent you played with her, but it was time you were done. I knew that the kiss would end it.”

“Are you trying to convince me you had feelings for Stacy too?”

“You were using my name to fuck with my sister’s assistant. It was going to come back and bite me in the ass eventually. And she was a nice girl. She didn’t deserve it.”

Their words had come fast, one statement on top of another.

Now they paused as Hudson perhaps took another swallow of his drink. Then he said, “Those are the only reasons I resorted to helping you with that.”

His words hung in the air. They sunk over me slowly. They pissed me off. I didn’t want to think of him as the hero of that situation, of any situation. So he’d participated in the scam to help Stacy. There were other ways he could have helped her. It wasn’t enough to redeem him.

I heard the creak of the couch—maybe just Celia leaning forward, but I tensed, afraid she was on the move again.

But there wasn’t any sound of footsteps, just her speaking, “And why did you agree to the Alayna game? Don’t tell me that was an excuse to be with her.”

Hudson must have nodded, because next she said, “Liar. You’re you. Hudson Pierce. You would have found a way to be with her anyway.”

“The minute I showed her any interest, you did too. Going along with your game was the only way to protect her.”

“Whatever,” Celia echoed my thoughts. “If it’s true that your interest was what attracted me, then the way for you to protect her would have been to run from her. Far and fast. I don’t buy it. You wanted to play.”

I hated to admit she and I were on the same page, but we were.

It was Hudson’s answer that surprised me. “You’re right. I should have run. I couldn’t. So I did the next best thing.”

A memory flashed into my mind of the first time I’d seen Hudson at the bar of the club. I’d known immediately that he was someone I should run from. The words far and fast had even occurred to me. Against my own conscience, knowing my faults and my weaknesses, I’d gone after him anyway.

Could I blame him for doing the same?

“I didn’t want to play the game with her,” he said next. “And I don’t want to play ever again.”

More movement. Then Hudson returned to the bar.

I should have moved. I should have moved! My pulse accelerated, and again, I held my breath.

“You don’t mean that, Hudson.” Celia stood as well. Her heels gave her away.

God, please don’t let her join him. Hudson was at least focused on his glass. She’d see me for sure.

Thankfully, she stayed where she was.

“Remember what it’s like?” she asked him. “The adrenaline rush? To stage a situation, knowing exactly how it will play out because you studied the characters so well you understand what they’ll do. There’s nothing like it.”

“You’re destroying people’s lives!”

“You taught me!”

“Then learn this next lesson well—it was wrong. I. Was. Wrong.”

Their words flew back and forth again. My heart continued to thud in my chest as they sparred. It was thrilling, exhilarating to hear him fight her.

Did that mean I thought of her as a worse enemy than him? Because I wanted him to defeat her?

Until that afternoon, I’d thought of them as a pair. Two of a kind. Now, my feelings were changing ever so slightly.

Hudson turned again to face her. “And of all the lives I’ve destroyed, Celia, I’m most regretful for what I’ve done to yours. But I can’t be responsible for that anymore. You have to decide now who you’re going to be. This is not who I’m going to be.”

Damn tears at my eyes again. Not wanting to move while I was still in his sightline, I let them fall freely. If it was true—if he really was done with his games—well, it made me proud.

Why the fuck I even cared, I couldn’t say.

“Then you’re out,” Celia said, resigned. “That’s fine. I’m not. And I’m not done with the Alayna Withers experiment.”

My stomach sunk. My break-up with Hudson should have won me a reprieve from her games. I’d never be away from her, would I?

Hudson thought I would. “Oh yes, you are done with Alayna.” He stepped further into the room, again out of my sight. “And don’t give me the line that you play to win. I can think of some times that you’ve lost. You’ve lost big, if I recall.”

“That’s cruel.” She actually sounded hurt. I hadn’t realized the woman had feelings.

“Ah, but isn’t that one of the requirements to playing the game?” His awful, caustic tone both frightened and elated me. It was scary to think Hudson had it in him, but it was delightful that he used it on my nemesis.

“Tell me, I’m curious,” Hudson began now, “what exactly was your plan with Alayna, anyway? After I dropped out and refused to break up with her, you created your befriend-and-frame scheme. When that failed, then what? The books with the quotes, the stalking—what was that supposed to do?”

I swear I heard her shrug. “I don’t know. Push her over the edge. Make her doubt you. Drive you apart.”

Hudson chuckled. “It seemed like random flailing to me. Guesswork. That’s not how we played.”

“It worked, didn’t it? You’re not together anymore.”

Oh, how I wanted to knock the glee out of her voice. It was another one of the worst parts of breaking up with Hudson—Celia took it as a victory.

He wouldn’t let her take the credit, though. “Believe it or not, that has nothing to do with anything you did.”

“Really? I thought for sure telling her we were lovers had been the final nail in the coffin. Especially when I gave her proof.”

“What proof could you possibly give for something that never happened?”

Though he’d said they’d never been together, I’d still had lingering doubts. His word no longer meant anything. But now…now I knew for sure. They’d never been romantic together. At least there was that.

“I told her you called me the same pet name you called her. Tore. Her. Up.”

“From the looks of it, it seems she tore you up.”

“Battle scars,” she said dismissively.

Her face! I’d almost forgotten. Damn, I wished I could see the results of my attack.

“What pet name are you talking about, anyway?”

His question alone meant he’d never told her. I turned my head toward the opening, eager to hear how this proceeded.

“Precious,” she said.

“How the hell did you know about that?” He was furious.

So it had been only ours. Finally, I had something to hold onto. That—his name for me—that would be the memory I’d take away as pure and true.

“I borrowed her phone one day when we’d had lunch. I saw text messages between the two of you. You called her precious.”

Such a fucking cunt. I wanted to stand up and shout it across the room. It was almost worth revealing myself.

Almost.

Hudson’s expression must have indicated he wasn’t happy about the information because Celia said, “Oh, come on. It was a good play. A fucking good play. And you’re telling me that had no bearing on your breakup?”

“No. I think she could have survived that, honestly.” Yes, we could have survived that. “It was the truth that did us in.”

“The truth? You told her—?”

He cut her off. “Everything.”

“That’s against the ru—”

Again he broke her off. “There are no fucking rules anymore, Celia. It’s over! I’m not playing. And I’m not discussing Alayna with you for another minute.” He spoke with finality.

I pictured what he must look like—his shoulders broad and squared, his face stern and unmoving. There was no way to refute him when he looked like that.

Her heels clicked again.

I tensed.

Then the sound of the couch creaking. “Is that why you brought me here? To tell me that you’re quitting?” Though she was trying to sound bored, I heard the disappointment in her voice.

“I haven’t even really played in years. Except to be your pawn.” Hudson’s steps then movement as he sat in his chair. “But no, that’s not why you’re here. I’m telling you that you’re quitting. You’re done, Celia. No more games.”

“You’re joking, right? You can’t decide that for me.”

While I appreciated that Hudson believed he could simply talk Celia out of her ways, I recognized her fortitude. She was not one to give up easily. Or at all. Even if Hudson asked her nicely.

“You’re right that I can’t monitor you in every facet of your life,” Hudson said, “nor do I have any intention, but I can tell you that you will not be messing with me or my family or my employees and definitely not Alayna.”

There, again. The sound of my name from his lips. Said so carefully, so reverently, like carrying something fragile and precious. Ah…precious. His care for me was…it was deep. I couldn’t deny that.

And the realization only hurt that much more.

Celia’s response kept me from spiraling into a fit of sobs. “That’s hilarious that you think you have any control over me in any measure. And your declaration is only begging for me to prove you wrong. Plus, even though I agreed to not press charges, I’m not finished with this Alayna game.”

“You are finished, Celia.” Again, he spoke with authority. “While I’d hoped you’d give it up for the sake of our friendship—or whatever it is that we once had—I had a feeling that you’d disagree. So I’ve attained some insurance.”

“I’m intrigued.”

So am I.

“Let me tell you about a company that I just bought.” There was unusual pep in Hudson’s tone. “Actually, I’ll show you the paperwork.”

Once more my heart raced as Hudson stood and moved. But he sounded like he was walking away. Then a shuffle of papers—he was at his desk. Then back to where he’d been—again, the chair creaked. I heard another shuffle and then individual paper movement as though someone was flipping through a packet and periodic silence as they paused to read. I could picture it—her French-tipped nails turning one page after another.

What was it? I itched to know. Though there was no way I’d be able to see what she was reading, I couldn’t take it anymore—I had to peek. If they were buried in papers, they wouldn’t notice me. I moved to my knees and peered around the door.

She sat, as I’d imagined, on the couch, a manila folder in hand, her brow furrowed. Her hair was up, as usual, and her nose was bandaged. Black and blue bruises extended underneath the tape.

I couldn’t help but smile at her injury.

Her eyes widened and her head shot up to look at Hudson whose back was to me. I sat down quickly, not wanting to be seen.

“How did you…?” she asked.

“Very sneakily.” He was proud; I could hear it in the edges of his even tone. “I’ll admit, it wasn’t easy. I had to convince another company to purchase a portion of the stock, and then I bought out that company—you don’t really want the details, do you?”

The deal he’d been working on. It had to do with Celia?

“The contracts are signed now,” he continued. “That’s all that matters. I’m officially the majority owner of Werner Media Corporation.”

I gasped, then slapped my hand over my mouth too late. Fuck! Had they heard my gasp? Had they heard my slap? And now my heart was beating louder than it had the whole time I’d been trapped in his bedroom—surely they could hear that?

But if they did, they gave no indication.

“And you said you’d quit playing the game.” Celia’s words were low and heavy.

“I had one final move to make,” he said.

And what a move it was. Werner Media Corporation—Celia’s family’s business—Hudson had bought it? This was…this was big.

She let out a long, slow hiss of air—or I guessed it was her, I couldn’t see for sure. “It’s checkmate, is it then?” she asked.

“You tell me.” Triumph hung in the texture of his words.

“What are your plans for Werner Media?” She fought to the end. Some people might be impressed with her dedication.

I imagined, once upon a time, that Hudson had been one of those people.

For me, it was Hudson that impressed me.

“At the moment, I have no plans. The company’s doing well as it is. Warren Werner is definitely the right man to be in charge. However, if there were any reason that I felt his presence was no longer needed…” He let his threat trail off.

“He’d be devastated,” Celia said softly.

“I imagine he’d be devastated just to learn he no longer holds controlling interest. For now, the fact is still hidden. He has no idea that he’s no longer in charge. Would you like that to change?”

“No,” she said.

“Do you plan on doing anything that might cause me to alter my current business plan?”

Defeat clung to her simple one-word answer. “No.”

“Then yes, it’s checkmate.”

We sat silently, all of us, for several minutes after the game was declared finished. My skin tingled as Hudson’s victory settled in the air. A smile graced my lips and a mixture of many, many emotions swept up and over me, very few of them sinking in with enough clarity to cling on to for long. Some, I could name—surprise, gratitude, relief, triumph. Others were more difficult to discern through the blanket of heartache that still covered me from head to toe. Was there some forgiveness toward Hudson in there? A touch of hopefulness, perhaps?

Love, there was love. There was always love.

“I guess it’s time for me to go,” Celia said eventually.

“It is. I’ll walk you out.”

They weren’t going back through the office. The realization sent another stab of panic through me—was Hudson not leaving? And my duffel—it was at the door.

Once again, I held my breath as they crossed the floor. I heard the door open. If they were at the entrance, their backs would be toward me. I had to see what was going on.

I moved up to my knees again and peered around the frame. Hudson was holding the door open as Celia walked past. He started to shut it behind her—dammit, he was staying—then his gaze fell on my bag.

He paused there for half a second. Then his eyes rose to scan the room.

I didn’t move—did I want him to find me?

He did.

Our eyes locked, and the intensity of his expression—it was all-consuming. Maybe I couldn’t read all of my own emotions, but in his gaze I saw three with clarity. Surprise, elation. And, clear as day, I saw love.

If he came to me at that moment, I was certain I’d fall back into him.

But he didn’t.

“Hold the elevator,” he said to Celia without looking away. His lip ticked ever so slightly, delivering me a half-smile. Then he left, shutting the door behind him.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Nine in the morning came awfully early after working until three a.m. I peeked from under my lids at the sun that suddenly filled the room.

“Hey,” I groaned. “I had the curtains shut for a reason.”

“Too bad. You got your fashionything.” Liesl poked at my foot sticking off the bottom of the futon. “Get up.”

“But, Mom, I don’t wanna.” I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I glanced at the time. It was actually after nine. I must have pushed the snooze button on the alarm clock a couple of times. “Why are you awake anyway?”

I’d worked a short shift but Liesl had stayed until close. That meant she’d probably only been home a couple of hours. Funny, she hadn’t woken me when she came in.

Then I realized, her coming in was what had woken me.

“Got a ride from one of the regulars.” She waggled her brows. “And when I say ride, I don’t mean in a car.”

Sex looked good on Liesl. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes bright. Part of me had always been jealous of her ability to sleep with random people and not get attached. This morning, thinking about sex just made me sad.

My face must have given away my thoughts because next thing I knew, Liesl had crawled onto the bed and wrapped her arms around me in a giant girlfriend hug.

I sighed into her embrace. It felt so good to be touched, to be cared for.

She kissed my temple. “Are you going to be okay today?”

I shrugged against her arms. “Hudson’s not supposed to be at the show. So yeah.” Saying his name made my heart simultaneously flip and sink. After he’d left the loft, I’d expected him to come into the club during my shift. Or to call. Find me somehow. There was so much to say after all I’d witnessed. Maybe he wasn’t interested.

Liesl released me and bopped me on the nose with her finger. “What’s that frown about then? You’re wishing he was coming, aren’t you?”

Did I wish that? “I don’t know.” While I didn’t want to see him, I wanted him to want to see me, if that made any sense.

I hugged my knees to my chest. “Why do you think he hasn’t tried to talk to me?”

“Maybe he’s respecting your space.”

Memories washed over me, times Hudson had bullied his way into my life when I’d tried to push him away. “Hudson’s never been one to respect my space.” Maybe that hadn’t been the real Hudson Pierce. It was preferable to think that than to believe he’d really given up on me so easily. “I guess I thought he’d fight for me. Especially after what he did yesterday. After he saw me.”

Liesl tilted her head. “Wanna hear what I think?”

“Probably not, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway.”

“I am.” She tucked her legs underneath her. “I think that it’s probably still too soon to figure out whether he’s going to fight for you or whether you even want him to.”

“I don’t want him fighting for me.” Except I sort of did.

She wagged a finger at me. “Uh-uh. Too soon.”

Maybe she was right. A myriad of emotions had enveloped me in the past week. Which of them would endure? In a month from now, which feeling would dominate? In a year? Betrayal? Pain? Or would it be love?

Liesl was right. It was too soon to know.

She reached her hand out to squeeze mine. “I’m proud of you though. You made it through this week. And through work last night. And you’re going to his sister’s thingamabob. And you only had one obsessive breakdown. I think you’ve done pretty good.”

It was amazing how she made just living sound like an accomplishment. Truthfully, it did feel like a success. A little bit of pride filled my chest.

But that ever-present ache didn’t go away. I bit my lip. “I miss him.”

Liesl leaned forward and kissed my hair. “I know. That might get worse before better.”

“Yeah.”

* * *

Mirabelle’s Boutique was crazed when I arrived, even though the event wasn’t due to start for more than another two hours. The place swarmed with florists and caterers and models and new employees. It took me a while to find anyone I knew in the crowd, but eventually I spotted Adam sampling—or stealing rather– a chocolate-covered strawberry from a Saran-wrapped food tray.

He paused to finish chewing. “Laynie, good to see you.”

He gave me a hug, which was a little weird since he’d never been affectionate with me.

“I’m so glad you’re here. Please, get Mira to stop running around, will you? She needs to sit and put her feet up. I swear to god, after today, if she doesn’t start taking it easy, I’m going to chain her to the bed.”

“That sounds a little personal,” I teased. “Where is she now?”

Adam directed me to the workroom in the back. There I found even more models, more employees, and Mira fussing over everyone.

“You’re here!” she exclaimed when she saw me. Though her expression and smile were bright, the bags under her eyes gave away her exhaustion. “I was afraid you’d bow out at the last minute.”

I’d been a little afraid of the same thing. “Nope. I’m here. Do you have time to give me a tour?” Maybe getting her distracted would keep her blood pressure from spiking while she worried about the details of the event. “Or would you prefer I get dressed first?” I wouldn’t want her stressing about that either.

“Get dressed first and then it’s on.”

The dress she’d chosen for me looked stunning with the alterations she’d had done. Looking at myself in the mirror of the dressing room, I couldn’t help but remember when I’d first tried it on. It was the day Stacy had sent me the video. That had been the beginning of the end, hadn’t it? If only I hadn’t let my curiosity get the better of me.

I shook my head, tossing the thought aside. Today, I wouldn’t be sad. It was Mira’s day, and I didn’t want to ruin it for her. Even though I had waterproof mascara on, crying didn’t go well with makeup.

Besides, I couldn’t wish for anything to be different. Sure, I’d been happy with Hudson, but it had been a lie. The truth would have come out eventually. Better now than later.

When I was dressed, I found Mira, this time seated in a chair as she yelled at people. Adam must have forced her to sit.

She jumped up when she saw me, though, her eyes wide. “Oh my god, you’re so beautiful! You are definitely going to be the finale. Dammit, I wish Hudson could see you.” She clapped her hand over her mouth before I could scold her. “Sorry. It slipped out. It’s going to take a while to get used to the new situation.”

“Yeah, I get that.” I was still adjusting myself.

She wrapped her arm around mine. “Let me show you my baby. Well, one of my babies.” The new addition was beautiful but simple. There was more space to display clothing, a few more dressing rooms, a bigger workroom for the staff and a small runway.

“The stage is where we’ll do today’s show. In the future it will be for private fashion selection,” Mira explained as we finished up. “Some of these rich bitches are too lazy to try on their own clothes so we have models hired to do it for them.”

I laughed. Mira was a Pierce—she was probably richer than any of her clients, and she was neither lazy nor a bitch. I could certainly see her mother being one of the women she was referring to, though.

“Speaking of Sophia,” I said, looking around the shop, “where is she? Isn’t she coming?”

“Um, no.” She bent to pick a piece of lint off my skirt. “I banned her along with Hudson.”

“What?” Not that I was disappointed about Sophia’s absence. With as out-of-control drunk as she’d been the last time I saw her in a public situation, it was probably a good idea she wasn’t here.

Mira straightened but kept her eyes down. “I took your advice. We staged an intervention.”

“Oh, my god, Mira!” I reached my hand out to touch her arm.

She slid my hand into hers instead. “It was hard, but Hudson and Chandler and Adam and even Dad were there. We all sat her down and told her she needed to get help.” She met my eyes and flashed a somewhat forced smile.

I squeezed her hand. “When did this happen?” And how is Hudson handling it?

“Last night. She didn’t want to hear it, of course. But when I told her she couldn’t be a part of my life anymore if she didn’t get help, then she agreed. She checked into a long-term facility upstate this morning. Hudson, Dad, and Chandler drove her out.”

“Wow.” My chest ached in a way that was different from the past several days. Instead of hurting because of Hudson, I hurt for him.

“You know, I’ve never seen my mother sober—she might still be a bitch. But at least I could trust her not to drop my baby.”

I pushed thoughts of Hudson out of my mind yet again and studied the beautiful woman in front of me. Though I was twenty-six to her twenty-four years of age, she struck me as the most genuine, mature person I knew. Such a contradiction to her brother. Such a contradiction to myself.

She blushed under my stare. “What?”

“I’m just really amazed by you. That’s hard to stand up like that for someone you love and today you have your event…how are you dealing with all of this?”

“Honestly, except for being tired, I feel really good.” It was her turn to squeeze my hand. “The only thing I’m worrying about now is you and my brother.”

I pulled my hand away from hers. “I’m miserable enough without the guilt trip, thanks.” I studied my shoes, afraid that any more show of emotion might wreck me.

“He told us what he did to you.”

My eyes flew back up to meet hers. “What?”

“During mom’s intervention. He said that if we had any hope of being a family, then we needed to face our flaws and own up to our mistakes. He went back to therapy this week, and I think his doctor encouraged him to be open with us. So he owned up to what he did to you.” Her expression grew serious and sad. “I’m sorry he did that to you, Laynie. Really sorry. I’m not going to defend him. But I will say that he is full of regret.”

“I’m…” My throat tightened. “Dammit, Mira, you’re making me cry.”

She grasped my upper arms. “Don’t cry! Then I’ll cry and that will be a disaster. No more serious talk, except to say I love you. Thank you for being here.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

* * *

There was a little more to the modeling gig than standing and smiling. I also had to walk down the short runway, pose, and return. While the place seemed to be crawling with models, there were only seven of us in the show. We were able to run through it enough times in rehearsal that by the time the actual event started, I wasn’t so nervous that I couldn’t perform.

Frankly, I was happy for an emotion other than grief. I clung to it. Wrapped it around me like a blanket.

At two, the doors were opened and the event began. It wasn’t a big hurrah like the charity fashion show Sophia Pierce had hosted, but was elegant and important in its own way. Mira was a beautiful bird, floating around the room, talking to big name fashion designers and top clients that had been invited.

Then there was the press—they’d been limited to invitation only and were sequestered in an area near the stage, which made them less intimidating. I never got close enough to them to be hounded with their questions. If they wanted to know about me and Hudson, they’d have to ask him.

Would they even ask? When the next girl showed up on his arm in the limelight, would they ask what happened to that nightclub manager the same way they asked about Celia in front of me?

There were so many awful things about that scenario that I had to block it out with a glass of champagne.

At a quarter to three, I lined up with the other models along the horizontal length of the stage. This is where we stood while each person walked the runway. My placement as last in the show made me wish we were walking on from offstage instead of waiting there the whole time. It felt like hours that I had to stand still and smile while the other women walked and posed. Stacy described each item, crediting the designer and then explaining the individual alterations done by the boutique to make the outfit perfect for the wearer.

Finally it was my turn. I walked to the end of the runway with a smile that was surprisingly authentic. Butterflies stirred in my stomach as I stood at the end while Stacy talked about my dress. Photographers were flashing bulbs at me, but the room wasn’t dark as in a typical fashion show, and I could actually see the faces of the onlookers as I cast my gaze around the room.