Текст книги "Smiley"

Автор книги: Laurann Dohner

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

Chapter Thirteen

Vanni let it all sink in. Smiley had lived a hellish life. She’d only been drugged once but he’d survived countless episodes that were far worse than what she’d experienced. He’d helped her through the worst of it but he’d been alone at Mercile Industries. She suddenly had sympathy like never before for New Species.

“Are you sure I didn’t harm you during sex, Vanni?” His voice softened. “You could tell me if I did.”

She looked away, unable to stand seeing the pained look in his eyes. “I really don’t want to talk about this.”

He softly cursed. “I did hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

Smiley sounded tormented and it made her feel guilty. He deserved total candor, even if it made her squirm. She looked at him and reached out to place her hand on his arm. The skin-to-skin contact helped her feel connected to him.

“I get embarrassed. That’s why I don’t want to talk about this. The only person I gave any details to about that night was my best friend. She’s the only one I’m comfortable discussing sex with. I was a little tender the next morning but it wasn’t because you did anything wrong. I’m fine now.”

“I was too rough.” He winced. “I understand. Thank you for sharing the truth with me. You were so tight that I feared I’d tear you a little. You should have one of our doctors look at you, Vanni.”

His bluntness startled her but she recovered quickly. “You’re very open about things, aren’t you?”

He nodded. “My people believe in total honesty.”

She swallowed and took a deep breath. Her cheeks were probably burning but she was willing to risk a bit of discomfort for Smiley.

“I don’t think I tore. I mean, I’m not in any pain. I just hadn’t had sex in a while. I have a tough time being so direct about sex. We didn’t talk about it in my house growing up. It was kind of taboo.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Mom never brought it up unless you count telling us a stork dropped us off when we were babies. My dad was hardly home. My sister and brother were older so they didn’t say much. It was more of a warning about don’t-let-men-talk-me-into-getting-naked-or-I’d-end-up-pregnant kind of thing. Beth was the one who gave me the sex talk when I was in my teens.”

His eyebrows shot up. “A stork?”

“You never heard that? Parents make up a story for kids to avoid telling them the truth about sex. They say that a big bird flies in and that’s how babies arrive.”

He laughed. “We openly talk about sex. Do you have any questions about me since we shared sex? We’re a little different physically than your fully human males.”

“You’re larger.” She felt her cheeks grow warm.

“Yes. Our muscle density is usually greater and we were engineered to be taller and larger in bone structure than most all your males.”

“I meant…” She couldn’t finish that sentence.

He smiled. “Our dicks?”

She nodded sharply.

“We were genetically designed to be larger all over. We don’t have a lot of body hair either. That is strange since we were given DNA from animals with fur. I’m glad I don’t have fur.”

Vanni grinned. “Yeah. That would kind of suck in the summer when it’s hot.”

Smiley chuckled. “I like it when you let your guard down with me. You have a wonderful smile.”

“So do you.”

His smile faded. “I was sexually attracted to you before the drugs. Were you even a little sexually attracted to me?”

Her mood sobered. “I don’t think we should discuss this.”

“You’re not sexually attracted to me in the least then?”

She stared into his eyes. “Why do you want to know?”

“I’m aroused being close to you. There are no drugs now.”

She gaped a little, astonished that he’d admit that. It took a lot of restraint not to glance down at his lap to see if he meant that in a literal sense.

Smiley hesitated, studying her face. “I wish to touch you and see what is between us without the aid of drugs.”

“That’s a bad idea.”

“Why? I want you, Vanni. I have thought of nothing else since that night.”

“I can’t have sex with you, if that’s what you want.”

Smiley’s shoulders sagged. “You aren’t attracted to me.”

The sad look on his face almost broke her heart. She couldn’t stand seeing him that way. “I am. It’s just that I believe in love before sex. We jumped into it and I don’t know how to feel about that. We’ve been intimate but we know so little about each other. It’s uncomfortable for me.”

“Why? Do you think you’re unable to love me? Is it because I’m not fully human?”

“I don’t even know you.”

He leaned in closer. “We can remedy that by getting to know each other. I’m taking you out tomorrow and we’re here together now. We just need to keep talking.”

She couldn’t deny the logic. “We could try that.”

“Do you believe anything your church says about us?”

“I’m not a member of the Woods Church and the stuff Gregory spewed was horrible.”

“That’s a good start. I know they hate us but I don’t know why.”

“I refuse to repeat that crap again. It was miserable enough telling Justice the kind of stuff they said while I was locked in that room listening to their garbage.”

He just stared at her. She caved under his steady gaze.

“It’s kind of confusing because they are nuts but it seems they think you guys are going to figure out a way to make an army of New Species and enslave the world. Or kill everyone. Maybe in that order. Did you ever see…” She shut up. “Never mind.”

“Did I ever see what? Talk, Vanni. We should have no secrets. You can say anything to me.”

“Fine. You know those horror movies where apes take over the world? I think they watched them too many times or something.” She cringed. “Sorry. I totally don’t want to offend you because I don’t think that way. You’re an amazing person. I don’t share their beliefs. It’s stupid. They are just idiots. Everyone knows New Species can’t even have kids.”

He looked away and his gaze drifted around the room. He finally looked at her again, glanced down at her stomach and then closed his eyes.

“Smiley? I’m so sorry.” She felt bad. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that it was the only reference I thought of. Really. Please don’t be angry at me.”

He opened his eyes and stared at her. “I’m not angry. I promise. I could never be angry with you.”

“You’re upset.” She didn’t believe him. “You’re primate, right? That ape reference was just unforgivable. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not upset.”

“I would be. I should just shut up. You make me nervous. I’m making a mess out of—”

“I want to kiss you.”

That silenced her. She was flabbergasted.

His gaze fixed on her mouth. He moved in closer, his body almost touching hers. “Let me kiss you, Vanni.”

“I…”

She wasn’t sure what to do or say. He didn’t really give her a chance to come up with a response. His mouth descended over hers. She closed her eyes and was amazed at how soft his lips were. His tongue swiped her lower one and she gasped. He used that opening to deepen the kiss.

Smiley took charge of her mouth in a way that left her grasping his shirt just for something to cling to. He pressed tighter against her until they were chest to chest and she was pushed against the yielding couch cushions. The passion he hit her with left her reeling when he suddenly stopped. He pulled away a few inches. She opened her eyes to stare into his. Her heart hammered and she panted as if she’d just been jogging. She was speechless but he wasn’t.

“We have chemistry. You do know me, Vanni. Stop thinking and just feel.”

He went for her mouth again, cupping her face with one of his hands to keep her in place. She didn’t fight but instead closed her eyes again and welcomed his hot mouth meeting hers. She opened up to him without any urging the second time. There was no gentleness in the second kiss, more of a raw hunger. She met it. Her body did remember him and yearned to be touched.

He seemed to know it since his free hand firmly gripped her thigh and slid higher. The cotton shirt rode up over the back of his hand as he used his thumb to stroke her thigh, inching up. She moaned against his tongue and he rumbled in response. He broke the kiss and they stared at each other again.

“Spread your thighs wide and scoot your ass to the edge of the couch.”

She glanced down and realized how high her shirt had risen. She released him and grabbed for the hem, trying to shove it down to hide her exposed pussy. Smiley moved faster, releasing her thigh and face. He captured her wrists before she could recover her modesty. He shook his head.

“Don’t hide from me.”

“Let go.”

“We’ve shared sex but I’ve never seen you here. It was too dark to enjoy the sight before. Spread open and show me.”

“You’re seeing. All you have to do is look down.”

He slowly shook his head. “Not enough. I want to see all of you.”

“I’m not taking off my shirt.”

“Put your hands up and hold the top of the couch.”

“Why?”

His smiled. “You know what I want to do.”

She shook her head. “I don’t.”

His eyes narrowed and his expression grew somber. “How many males have you known, Vanni?”

“Two.”

“Didn’t you ever show them your sex? Didn’t they ever want to spread you open and appreciate you?”

She swallowed. “No.”

He emitted a deep, sexy rumbling sound.

“Why are you making that noise?”

“I’m turned-on. I rumble. It’s a good thing. We’ve shared sex. Share this with me. Let me see you, Vanni. I know how you feel here because I’ve been inside you. It was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced. Reach up and hold the top of the couch. You will enjoy me seeing you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You’re beautiful and there is no need to be shy. My nakedness does not embarrass me. Your nakedness makes me hurt with wanting to touch you.”

“Well, you work out and you’re in perfect shape. I’m not.”

“I like your shape. It is a turn-on.” Smiley moved her wrists, lifting them high, and then bent them until her hands touched the back of the couch. “Hold on right here and don’t let go. Close your eyes if it helps you relax, Vanni. You’ll enjoy what I do to you.” He lowered his voice and murmured, “Please?”

“We shouldn’t be doing this. It’s too fast.”

“I’ll go slower. Will you hold on to the couch?”

She dug her fingers into the cushion. He eased his hold on her wrists and stunned her by gripping her hips and yanking her closer to him. It spread her thighs and he turned his hip, pressed between her knees and widened them. She looked down and bit back a curse. The shirt had bunched at her belly, leaving her completely exposed from the waist down. It was bright in the living room and everything was in perfect clarity.

He lowered his chin to stare at the V of her thighs. “Beautiful. I can’t wait to taste you.”

She tensed. “I know people do that but I don’t.”

His head snapped up and his eyes widened. “What?”

“Oral sex, right?” She figured her cheeks were probably neon red at that point. “I don’t. I’ve never.”

He just continued to gape at her. It made her feel kind of like a freak, as if something were wrong with her. She felt the need to explain.

“I have given. I just don’t get.” She released the couch cushion and tried to grab her shirt to shove it down but he captured her wrists again, holding them in place.

“Stupid human males. What was wrong with them?”

“It just never happened.” She tried to wiggle away but it was hard to do with her wrists being held and Smiley’s hips between her knees.

He shook his head. “I’m not letting this go. Grab the couch again and hold still.”

“I’m not comfortable with that.”

“You will be by the time I’m done.”

“Let go.”

“Not a chance.” They stared at each other until he lifted her arms again. “Grab.” He pressed her hands against the top of the couch. “Close your eyes if it helps. We are going to do this.”

She shook her head. “You just wanted to see and now you want to do more than that.”

“You’re shy. You don’t like males to see you naked or to have your pussy exposed?”

“That’s right.”

Smiley’s pretty eyes lit with amusement. “I sent Wager away from the front door but there is another guard posted in the backyard. I didn’t make him go away.”

“Why are you telling me that?”

“He’ll rush in here if you yell out. We’d have company in less than thirty seconds.” He tilted his head toward the slider. “He’d smash through it thinking I was harming you, which I’d never do. You don’t want him to see you naked, do you?”

“No!”

“Keep that in mind. Be very quiet, my little Vanni. I’m going to show you what you have missed. Otherwise they will rush in here to save you from me.”

She gasped when he suddenly released her wrists and gripped her rib cage. He lifted, pulling her right off the couch. He was strong enough to lay her on the carpet before she realized what he intended. He lifted up, let go of her and then gripped her behind her knees. He bent them up and spread them as he slid lower. She couldn’t miss the grin on his face right before he lowered it precariously close to her sex.

Her mouth opened but she remembered his warning. He reminded her in case she’d forgotten though.

“Relax for me, little Vanni. You will enjoy this. Try to keep quiet. I’m not shy about sex but you are.”

“Smiley, whatever you’re going to do, don’t. I—”

She gasped again when he ignored her and all she could see was the top of his head. The feel of his tongue swiping across her clit was something she wasn’t prepared for. It was hot and wet, the slightly rough texture a shock to her system. It felt good though, as a sensation of extreme pleasure jolted upward. Every muscle in her body seemed to go rigid.

He rumbled again, creating vibrations. She clawed at the carpet, forgetting how to breathe. He closed his mouth around that tiny area and applied more pressure with his tongue, rubbing it back and forth.

Vanni moaned. “Oh god.”

That seemed to encourage him because he grew more aggressive. His mouth clamped down firmly and he sucked on her clit. His tongue pushed against the sensitive bundle of nerves without mercy. Vanni thrashed her head and had to use her hand to cover her mouth to muffle the sounds she made. She felt as if he’d hooked her to a live electrical wire.

She began to perspire and she tingled all over. Her nipples beaded and the shirt rubbed against them as she writhed on the carpet. They were super sensitive. It was too much, too intense. The urge hit her to slam her legs closed and she tried but Smiley kept them open. He continued to play with her until her back arched and she wondered if she’d snap her spine.

She didn’t care at that moment. She lost the ability of thought and then she was being crushed from her center outward as she climaxed. Her body jerked violently with each spasm and her hand couldn’t muffle the noises that came out of her.

Smiley released her thighs and climbed up her. He shoved her hand out of the way and his mouth covered hers, smothering her cries. He kept his weight off her so he wouldn’t crush her under him. She continued to twitch until she stopped coming.

Vanni kept her eyes closed, trying to regain some semblance of reality. Smiley continued to kiss her. His kiss was more aggressive than her more sluggish response. She still reeled from what he’d made her experience. Her limbs felt heavy. She realized her legs were still spread apart and his jeans were pressed firmly against her inner thighs. She managed to reach up though, and wrap her arms around his shoulders.

Smiley broke the kiss and groaned. That opened her eyes and she stared at him. His expression seemed a bit harsh. She studied him and knew it wasn’t from anger. He looked hungry and a little wild. His breathing was almost as erratic as hers.

“I need you. Say yes.”

She nodded.

He shifted a little and reached between them. He had to lift his hips away to get the zipper of his jeans down. It was a distinctive sound in the room. He wiggled a little and then lowered.

“Wrap your legs around me.”

She bent them up and her calves rested on his ass. He shifted closer and she couldn’t look away from him when his cock nudged her sex. She was wet but he felt so big as he pushed against her. The sensation of him entering her made her moan.

“So damn tight,” he rasped. “So wet. Your pussy is clamped around me almost painfully.”

No guy had ever spoken to her that way before but she liked it. It made her feel sexy and she loved watching the way his beautiful eyes narrowed and his lips parted, showing his fangs. The tips of them reminded her of when he’d nipped her shoulder. She turned her head a little to give him access to her neck if he wanted it.

“Relax, babe. Your muscles are still clenched. I don’t want to have to fight my way inside. I’m afraid I’m going to tear you.”

She had to force her body to do as he asked. He slid in deeper, filling her more. She felt stretched to the limit but he wasn’t done. Smiley rolled his hips and sank more of the thick girth of his cock inside her body. She closed her eyes, enjoying the way they fit together. He withdrew a little and pushed back in, riding her slowly.

“Oh god.” She clutched at his back, finding bare skin around his tank top. Her nails dug in a little but she tried not to draw blood. He just felt too good.

“I have control.” He took a deep breath. “I have control. I have control.”

“I believe you.”

He buried his face against her neck. “I’m convincing myself. Slow and steady.”

That was how he moved on top of her. She moaned and lifted her legs higher, digging her heels into his firm ass. The muscles flexed with every thrust and he adjusted his hips, hitting a new spot. She moaned louder, clinging to him.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

He brushed kisses along the column of her throat and then he bit down on her shoulder. It didn’t hurt but the slight bite had a wonderful effect on her body. The pleasure built until another climax struck. It wasn’t as intense at the first one but it left her moaning his name and twitching.

Smiley released her neck from his teeth and sucked in a sharp breath. He snarled something she couldn’t understand then drove into her faster. She felt him come, his shaft pulsing like a heartbeat against her vaginal walls. He stilled his hips and panted with her.

Smiley’s hand brushed her cheek and she opened her eyes to find him staring at her.

“Did I hurt you?” He kept caressing her.

“No.”

He smiled. “We’ll work this out.”

“Work what out?”

“Breaking you of your shyness.” He laughed. “You liked showing me your sex, didn’t you? Do you see what you’ve missed?”

She tried to look away but he moved his face with her. She had no choice but to meet his gaze again. He waited for an answer so she gave him one. “I liked that a lot.”

“Liked? I’ll have to try harder. You said you only want a male to touch you when you feel love. I’ll get you there.”

She closed her eyes. He wanted her to love the sex but she was afraid she was going to fall in love with him. Her heart and body were connected. It was a package deal with her.

“Vanni? Look at me.” He kept hold of her face but stopped brushing his thumb along her cheek.

She couldn’t resist. His smile had vanished and the seriousness of his gaze held her full attention.

“That was apparently a bad joke. I meant to put you at ease. As I said, we will work this out. I want it too. There’s something powerful between us.”

“Your muscles?” She could try humor too.

His lips twitched. “You look tired.”

“I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Nor did I. We need a nap.”

She nodded.

He slowly withdrew from her body. She hated the separation. The second he was off her though, she frantically shoved her shirt down to cover her lower half. Vanni sat up and reached for the edge of the couch to stand but Smiley gripped her hand instead. She looked up at him. He’d tugged his pants up but they weren’t zipped. The V of skin showing was an attention getter.

He pulled her to her feet and then surprised her by letting her hand go as he bent. One of his arms wrapped around her back and he hooked her behind her knees, just scooping her up as he straightened.

“I’m sleeping with you.” He turned with her in his arms. “We just shared sex and all I want to do now is strip us both naked and hold you close.”

She put her arm around his neck and didn’t protest. He carried her down the hallway into the bedroom. “How did you know I picked this one?”

“Scent. I’d know yours anywhere.”

Vanni bit her lip and said nothing. It was a strange thing but he was New Species. He gently set her on the bed and stood. He tore his tank top off and then shoved his jeans down. She stared at his body, a little in awe. Every ripple of muscle displayed on his arms, chest, and stomach were testament to how fit he was.

“Jeez.”

Smiley froze. “What’s wrong?”

“Your body is perfect.”

He blinked at her a few times. “No.” He turned around.

Faint scars marred his lower spine. She was on her feet and reaching her trembling hand outward before she gave it any thought. Smiley peered at her over his shoulder. She jerked her fingertips away, worried he might not want her to do that.

“You can touch me anywhere.” He seemed to guess her thoughts. “They don’t hurt.”

She traced one of the thicker ones. “How did you get these?”

“I killed one of the technicians and this was my punishment. They whipped me. It was worth it. He abused females.”

Horror washed through her. “Oh Smiley.”

He spun to face her. “I’m not perfect. That’s why I showed you those. I’ve had to kill to survive or to make certain others of my kind survived.” A muscle in his jaw jerked. “Do you want me to leave?”

She shook her head. “No. Why would you even ask that?”

“The look in your eyes. You’re revolted.”

“By what was done to you. Not anything else.”

He reached out and took her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. “It’s important that you know the real me. I usually have a good temperament but I will kill to protect those I care for. I’d kill for you.”

Her knees felt a little weak. She may have swayed a little on her feet because Smiley took a step closer and wrapped his arm around her waist, helping to steady her. No man had ever said those words to her but she could tell he meant them.

“I’d never hurt you though. I never want you to be afraid of me.”

“I’m not.”

“Good. Your opinion of me is important. I don’t want any lies between us, Vanni. I want you to accept me for who I am, instead of just showing you the better sides of me. I try to be the best male I can be but I have flaws. Everyone does.”

“I know I do,” she admitted.

He grinned. “Tell me a few.”

“Beth tells me I’m too trusting because I don’t want to be one of those negative people who always look for deceit in others. My older sister is like that and she’s a downer. I always look for bright sides.”

“I think that’s a good trait.”

“I didn’t see what a liar Carl was.”

He scowled. “That male didn’t deserve you.”

“Thank you.”

He jerked his head toward the bed. “Let’s rest.” He released her and gently nudged her closer to it. “Take everything off.”

She hesitated but then tore the shirt over her head. It was probably the fastest she’d ever climbed under the covers in her life. Smiley might have some scars but he did have a perfect body otherwise. It made her more aware of her flaws. She peered at him while he went to the curtains and pulled the thick drapes closed to block out a lot of the light. He approached the bed and climbed in.

“Come here. I want to hold you.” He lay on his back and opened his arms.

She had rarely shared a bed with a man. Her first boyfriend and she had discussed living together but he’d kept putting it off. Later she’d discovered he’d been a cheating bastard who was afraid she’d figure it out if they shared a home. Carl had wanted to wait until after the wedding to live together. She inched closer.

Smiley pulled her against his side until she rested her head on his chest and his arm curled along her back, his fingers stroking her hip under the covers. His chin rested on the top of her head. “I like this.”

“Me too,” she admitted.

Vanni was in his arms and she felt right. Smiley breathed in her scent, making a mental note to ask her for her bath-product preferences. He liked her other shampoo better but the one she wore was nice too. Her skin was soft where he stroked her and he shifted his legs, trapping his hardening dick between his thighs.

She looked exhausted. The reason behind it made him angry. The Woods Church, her ex-male and his father would pay for what they’d done to her. He tugged down the covers a little after her breathing assured him she slept and got a good look at her back. He’d just caught a glimpse of it when she’d removed the shirt and practically dived into bed.

Rage rose in him. Her pale skin was marred with multicolored bruises. All Species had experience with being Tasered and it wasn’t pleasant. She was too fragile and the male responsible would feel far greater pain if he ever got his hands on him. He planned to talk to Justice and go over everything he’d learned from her so she wouldn’t have to deal with the trauma of telling it again. Smiley swore silently to be there when the task force teams brought in the ones who’d hurt his Vanni.

He regretted the faint bruises he’d glimpsed on her ass. His actions had put them there and he made a mental note to be more careful the next time he lifted her in his arms. Avoiding anything that might hurt her in any way was a top priority.

My Vanni. He closed his eyes. None of the symptoms were there that other males had warned him about. He liked her scent but didn’t feel addicted. He’d managed to keep quiet regardless of how good the sex was and it was the best. He did feel protective of her but flashes of memory of the night at the hotel haunted him. She’d been terrified and dependent on him to help her. That had bonded them.

He still wanted her for a mate. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. They were different but they could make it work. He was motivated. She had obviously been ready to settle down with a mate since she’d agreed to marry Carl. He hated even to think the male’s name. Smiley would make a far better mate than that abusive human.

Guilt also surfaced. He’d had an opportunity to tell Vanni that she might be pregnant when she’d remarked that everyone was aware Species couldn’t breed. He should have informed her that was not correct but had been afraid it would remind her of the Woods Church’s accusations against the NSO. She wouldn’t be sleeping in his arms after sharing sex if he had. The last thing he needed was for her to avoid him. He also wouldn’t have taken her on the floor if he’d seen her bruised back beforehand. He hoped that hadn’t been uncomfortable for her.

He sniffed at her again, hunting for any telling signs of pregnancy but detected none, though his sense of smell wasn’t as good as a canine’s. It would be better if he could talk her into going to Medical. They could tell with tests faster than a change in her scent would. He pondered how she would take the news if she did carry his child. He’d mate her for sure if that were the case but even without a pregnancy, he still wanted to claim and keep her.

She was nothing like Species females. Her blushing and nervousness endeared her to him even more. She was shy and it made her adorable. Her lack of sexual experience would be fun. He grinned, remembering the way she’d responded to his mouth on her pussy. He looked forward to teaching her all the ways he could give her pleasure. He just needed time to show her he was the right male for her.

He formed a plan. He would get her addicted to him. She wouldn’t want to leave if she became dependent upon him. Sharing sex was a great way to cement their bond but he needed to connect with her on an emotional level as well. He’d cook for her and show her how domestic he could be. It wouldn’t hurt to talk to a few of the mates to ask their advice. He would do that in the morning when he needed to go home to get clothing. It was a given that he’d move to human housing since he doubted she’d feel comfortable if he took her to the men’s dorms.

He lifted his hand and gently cupped her soft belly. It didn’t disturb her sleep as he kept his palm there, wondering if life grew inside. She couldn’t find out about the possible child until he’d had a chance to alleviate all her fears and she’d want him as much as he did her. He would never forget how Becca had believed Brawn only wanted her for the sake of their child. Smiley wanted Vanni for who she was. Vanni should be certain she knew how he felt about her before any symptoms appeared if she were pregnant. He’d make sure of it.

He closed his eyes again and relaxed. He had slept poorly since returning from the hotel but now his Vanni was safely curled up against him. He drifted into sleep.