Текст книги "Hold On"

Автор книги: Kristen Ashley

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 35 страниц)

“I had no idea about any of this shit, brother, or my brief with Ryker would have gone different,” Tanner told him. “I didn’t expect he’d say shit anyway, but you know I wouldn’t lay you out like that if I knew where your head was at with Cher.”

Garrett drew a breath in through his nose and looked out the window.

“You really over Mia?” Tanner asked quietly.

Garrett turned his gaze back to him. “It’s an uncomfortable feeling, kickin’ your own ass for years, knowin’ you let go the only woman you loved and knowin’ you should’ve pulled out all the stops to get her back, then switchin’ that on a dime to kickin’ your own ass when you realize she wasn’t worth that emotion.”

“Yeah, I get that. That’s a major shift, Merry. And, not tellin’ you somethin’ you don’t know but gonna say it anyway ’cause it’s important, you gotta know you made that shift before you explore dick with Cher Rivers.”

Garrett locked eyes with his friend. “Happily stand at the town limits and wave the woman on her way to Bloomington. I’m dead serious about that. Our end did not happen Friday night. Our end happened five years ago. I drew out the grief of that, with her stringin’ me along in ways I never shared because that was mine and hers. Seein’ it through different eyes now, though, it wasn’t mine and hers. It was hers, and it was shit.”

“Stringin’ you along?” Tanner asked.

“Mia likes games. Blinded by my feelings for her, never saw it for what it was, but she likes games,” Garrett told him and watched Tanner’s jaw go hard.

He wasn’t a big fan of secrets between family or friends, but on this, he had to suck it up. Until Garrett wanted to make info like this Tanner’s business, it wasn’t.

Which meant only now, sharing this info about Mia was his business.

“Since Friday, had time to think about it,” Garrett went on. “And what I think is that I held on to what I had with her so I wouldn’t be open to what I could have with someone who didn’t get off on yankin’ my chain.”

“Yankin’ your chain?” Tanner prompted.

“We’re not talkin’ about Mia now,” Garrett told him. “Time I gave her is done.”

“Okay, brother. I hear you,” Tanner muttered, then he asked, “You think you’re where you need to be now?”

Garrett shook his head. “No clue. I just know I’m not where I used to be.”

Tanner nodded. “Then you know—you of all people know, Garrett—from what didn’t go down with Mia that turned out right to what you encouraged to go down with me and your sister, you know the way it is. And you know you gotta do one thing.” He hesitated, drew in breath, and finished, “Proceed.”

Garrett had given Tanner that same advice, and the road was bumpy, but the results were worth it.

Fuck.

The anger slid out of him, but it left frustration behind.

“Ryker made a difficult job a lot harder today, big man,” Garrett pointed out.

“Dig deep and decide if it’s worth the effort, Garrett. You make the decision—cut her loose or make that effort. Only you can decide,” Tanner replied, then shook his head. “That last isn’t true. She’s a good woman. It’s worth the effort. You wouldn’t charge in here, pissed as shit, if you didn’t know it. You just gotta know, for her sake and for her kid’s, that your shit’s together before you go for it.”

Garrett drew in another breath, dropped his arms, and lifted his chin.

His message relayed about Ryker, with no reason to be pissed other than being pissed at himself, a ton of work on his desk, and a new problem with Cher to sort, he had no purpose being there.

“Gotta get back to the station,” he muttered.

“On your walk, think about how Cher had occasion to have a chat with Ryker.”

Garrett’s attention turned acute on Tanner.

It came to him and he whispered, “Fuck.”

Tanner laid out the realization that belatedly hit him.

“What I heard just now from you, she’s thrown up her shields, fightin’ you off. She knows you’re diggin’ in with her shit and she might’ve been lookin’ for reinforcements to help her out with that so she could untangle you from it. So she’s got no call to be pissed Ryker knew when she was gonna tell him herself.”

Garrett grinned at his brother-in-law.

Tanner grinned back.

“Thanks, buddy,” he muttered.

“Don’t mention it,” Tanner replied, turning toward his desk.

Garrett moved toward the door.

He stopped when Tanner called, “Merry.”

He looked back to see the man sitting behind his desk.

“Rumors fly. Don’t wanna piss you off, but just sayin’, before some asshole asks and earns your fist in his face, and straight up, ’cause I’m curious, gotta know so I can shut it down before it blows: Word is, that rack she’s got isn’t all hers.”

“Lots of gifts God gave Cher she doesn’t recognize, that’s one of them. If it isn’t, her surgeon was a master. But, big man, if Cher ever had money to blow on somethin’, she’d use it to give good to her boy. She wouldn’t use it to get her tits done.”

Tanner grinned again. “I’ll take that to mean it’s all hers.”

“Don’t give a fuck how you take it,” Garrett told him. “Cher and me ever get down to sharin’ medical histories, that in itself would be cause for celebration considerin’ how things are right now. But, seein’ as it’s no one’s business, you can warn every fuck who might open their trap to me or her about it to keep it shut or they won’t be able to open it since their jaw’ll be wired shut.”

Tanner didn’t miss a beat before he stated, “I’ll take that as you already havin’ your shit together about Cher Rivers.”

Garrett shook his head and muttered, “Whatever.”

He turned to leave again when Tanner called his name again.

He looked back.

“Jesus, brother, what?” he asked.

He asked it before he caught the look on Tanner’s face.

He braced when he caught that look.

“It’d be good to see you happy. It’d be good to see you give what you got to give to a woman who deserves to get it. And it’d be good Cher’s son has a man in his life who isn’t an ex-junkie but is a staple and can offer him a shitload of things he needs to grow up and be a good man. That might not be the end for the three of you. But if it is, man, I’ll be happy for you.”

Garrett fought back clearing his throat before he asked, “You done?”

Tanner grinned yet again. “Yep.”

“Rocky’s made you soft,” he returned.

“That is one thing your sister has never made me.”

Garrett felt his lip curl. “Christ.”

Tanner burst out laughing.

Not even close to that mood, Garrett muttered, “Later,” and took off.

* * * * *

Cher

After my shift, I left out the back door with Darryl opening it for me to keep an eye on me on the way to my car (like he always did, or Morrie did, or Jack did).

I moved down the alley toward my Equinox.

I heard the door close and it did this earlier than Darryl would normally do it.

I knew why.

“Goddamned shit,” I muttered under my breath, seeing Merry leaning against my driver’s side door, his Excursion pulled in against the wall in front of my Chevy.

He didn’t move as my heels clicked their pissed off staccato on the pavement. He just watched me come to him, ankles crossed, arms folded on his chest.

Shit, it totally, seriously sucked he was so hot.

I was five feet away when I snapped my question, “You lose the ability to read?”

The left side of Merry’s lips curled up, but that was the only movement he made.

Asshole.

I stopped three feet in front of him.

“Move out of my way, Garrett,” I ordered.

“So,” Merry said softly, “considering Tanner set Ryker on your church lady, meaning he had things to do, I’m guessin’ Ryker wasn’t in J&J’s to shoot the shit over a beer at high noon.”

Oh fuck.

He’d figured it out.

How much—in other words, the Carlito business—I didn’t know.

I kept silent.

Merry felt chatty.

“I’m guessin’, in an effort to convince yourself of the bullshit you’re tryin’ to convince me of—that you’re happy spinnin’ your wheels, lettin’ Denny Lowe interrupt your life for good and hunkerin’ down in that fortress of yours until the day you quit breathin’—you made a call to the only man you know who could help you out and collect on his debt in a way you could pay.”

How I got taken in by Denny Lowe telling me that he was a cop, I had no idea. Lowe might have had computer smarts and criminally lunatic genius that kept him free to chop his way through half the United States of America, but he was no cop.

Cops were far more intuitive and it took them no time at all to connect dots.

Then again, back then, I didn’t know any cops.

Now I did.

Which meant I should have known better.

Crap.

“Move out of my way,” I repeated.

“So,” Merry said, “you were good to let him in on what was goin’ down with you. And since you know Ryker’s history and your shit involves shit that might be happenin’ in a church, you knew you’d get him fired up. And since you are far from stupid and know how tight Ryker is with Tanner, firing Ryker up, you’d put it together that he’d throw every resource he had at gettin’ what you need. So he’d fill in Tanner.”

To be honest, I wasn’t as smart as Merry thought. I didn’t forget that the horrors that almost happened to Ryker’s Alexis had originated when a con man infiltrated the Christian church in order to recruit girls for hideously nefarious ends. I just didn’t put it together that if I mentioned a church being involved, Ryker would go all out. The only thing I was thinking was that I didn’t have to ask for a favor I couldn’t really repay.

He could scratch my back, I could scratch his.

I didn’t share my train of thought with Merry.

I demanded yet again, “Move out of my way.”

Merry didn’t move out of my way.

He kept going.

“Which means you were good with sharin’ your shit with Ryker and, by extension, Tanner.”

That was enough.

“Yeah,” I bit out. “I was. I was good with sharin’ my shit with whoever I wanted. What I was not good with was you decidin’ who to share my shit with, and I did not hide that from you, Garrett. I told you straight up the way it was gonna go. You made me a promise and you broke it knowin’ the consequences. Now move…outta…my way.”

“You’re right, I broke that promise. So, honey, now you gotta know just how pissed at me you should be, ’cause Ryker got a smell of somethin’ he didn’t like and it was somethin’ he couldn’t sniff out fully. So he pulled in Devin, and Devin decided he had to pull in Vera to get the job done right.”

Devin was not only the crotchety, old-guy member of Tanner Layne’s ragtag team of crazy people investigators, he was also Tanner’s father-in-law, recently married to Tanner’s mom, Vera.

In other words, as I suspected, Merry shared and my shit had spread, and it had done this wide.

In that moment, it occurred to me for the first time in ages that alley had seen the grisly murder of a woman who’d caught the edge of Dennis Lowe’s ax.

So it was too bad someone was going to have to hose down the skull and brain fragments of my head exploding.

When this didn’t happen instantaneously, I was able to force out, “Say what?”

Merry ignored my question.

“Now, diggin’ deeper, Ryker got to the bottom and surface proved true—Faith Saves is what it is,” he told me. “They got a mission, and while it might be irritating to some, they just wanna do good, even if not everyone agrees with how they’re goin’ about it.”

Since I clearly had no other choice but to hear him out (because he wasn’t giving me one), I planted my hands on my hips, beat back the urge to attack him with my purse, and settled in.

“I was also right about the fact that’s where Peggy met Trent. They got to talkin’ outside an NA meeting and things went on from there,” he shared.

“Fascinating,” I said acidly when he quit talking.

That left side of his mouth curved up again, but then his humor disappeared entirely in a way that I was no longer settled in.

I was worried.

“And you were right, sweetheart,” he said softly. “She wants Ethan.”

I swallowed, getting the sense that wasn’t all of it.

I was right.

Merry kept speaking softly.

“Feelin’ safe, sittin’ in a park while her daughter’s playin’, cuddlin’ her son, a nice, chatty lady sits with her, cuddlin’ her grandbaby, Peggy Schott let fly. They got a problem with gettin’ her husband’s kid from his momma ’cause they don’t have any money. Trent makes shit, so she’s got a job that helps out but not much. She wants to be home full-time for her babies and so she can begin the work of raisin’ her man’s son right.”

His last words were sticking in my craw, choking me, when finally he pushed away from the door of my car, but not to let me get to it.

To get close because he was going to lower the boom.

I stared up at him, heart slamming against my ribs, and waited for the blow to land.

“She’s prayed to God to find the answer, brown eyes,” he said carefully. “And according to her, He’s given her the answer. She’s got lotsa help back home with a big family, brothers and sisters, mom and dad, aunts and uncles. That means they just gotta find a way to get her man’s boy away from his momma. Then they can take him down to Missouri, her family can find her husband a job, and she can stay at home, raisin’ her brood in the God-fearin’ manner they need.”

“Fuck,” I whispered.

“Do not send your boy to them, Cher,” Merry whispered back. “Vera did not get good vibes from this woman. She’s determined and she might not do what she feels she needs to do in a legal way. She might grab your boy, pack up her family, and go.”

My legs were trembling, as was my repeated, “Fuck.”

“Now, I know you’re pissed at me,” Merry said quietly. “And I know you got reason. I also know right now we got that, and if you’d waited to call Ryker in on it today and shackled him by not lettin’ him gather the team the way it was needed, we wouldn’t have it. Not ever. So I hope you got it in you to get past bein’ pissed, because you know I did the right thing for you and Ethan.”

I wanted to pull the anger around me to hold Merry back, but I didn’t have it in me to do that while fighting back the fear.

I didn’t know what to do.

Should I share this with Ethan? Should I break his heart that two people he’d come to care about, family he thought was his and would be forever, were plotting to take him away from me?

Should I get an attorney and confront Peggy and Trent with what I knew and warn them to back off? Negotiate something that would work for all of us, especially Ethan, in a way that was healthy?

And truthfully, was Peggy Schott even healthy? Did she know the God who was “giving her the answers” wasn’t what it actually was, her deciding the way things needed to be?

Or should I sit down with Colt, report this, and ask for protection so nothing would happen to my son, and if it did, they’d know right where to look?

(Though, Merry already knew, so that last was rhetorical.)

“Cher,” Merry called as his phone rang.

I realized I was looking at him but not seeing him. I focused to watch him pull his phone out of his back pocket.

Distractedly, I noted that since the last time I’d seen his phone, the screen had cracked.

“Shit,” he muttered, sliding his finger on the cracked screen and looking at me. “Gotta take this, baby.”

I didn’t say anything. I might be focused on him, but my mind was still clogged with everything he’d told me.

“Merrick,” he said into his phone.

My mind cleared when what was coming off him slammed into me in a way it was a wonder my body didn’t jerk.

“Where?” he barked ferociously. “When?” he asked, only a little less sharply. But his voice deteriorated significantly when he asked, “How long?”

He listened. I watched him do it.

Then he said, “Fuck. I’m with Cher. I get her and Ethan sorted, I’m there.”

He took his phone from his ear and ordered tersely, “In your car. I’m followin’ you to your mom’s, then I’m followin’ you and Ethan home.”

Oh no.

What now?

“What’s goin’ on?” I asked.

“In your car, Cher,” he commanded, then moved. Starting in a prowl that fed into a jog, he went to his truck.

Sensing I needed to do what he told me to do, though I’d do that anyway because I needed to go get my kid, I got in my car.

I pulled out and headed down the alley. Merry’s lights already on, he pulled out right on my ass.

He stayed on my ass all the way to Mom’s.

I jumped down from my car and he was at my side.

“Merry, what’s goin’ on?” I snapped, hiding anxiety behind anger as he took my hand and yanked me toward the hood of my car, his attention not on me but on the night.

That was not good.

“Let’s get inside,” he ordered.

“Merry—”

He looked down at me, his face set in stone. “Fast.”

Fuck, fuck…shit.

We got inside, fast, but I didn’t have a choice since Merry all but dragged me there.

By the time he closed the front door, Merry had rearranged his features, but not by much.

Mom took one look at us and came right off the couch, face lighting up, mouth smiling, eyes darting to Merry, Merry’s hand in mine, to me, then back to Merry.

“Well, Garrett, this is a lovely surprise,” she declared.

“Yo! Merry!” Ethan greeted, jumping up from an armchair, his face just as surprised and excited as his gramma’s.

“Grace,” Merry muttered to my mom, letting me go to move in, bend down, and touch his cheek to Mom’s. He turned to Ethan and stuck out a hand. “Hey, man.”

Ethan stared up at him, his excitement at seeing his cool, grown-up, badass friend fading as he took in Merry’s manner and he also stuck out his hand.

Merry shook it like they were adults and let him go.

Then he looked to Mom. “Grace, gonna get Cher and Ethan home, but before I do that, me and Ethan are gonna walk through your house, make sure windows and doors are locked. You got a back door light?”

Mom was also cottoning on to Merry’s look and demeanor, so she just nodded.

Merry looked down to Ethan. “Check windows, buddy. I’ll do the back door.”

I knew Ethan wanted to ask. I also knew Ethan was a good kid. So, being a good kid, he didn’t waste time asking. He took off to check windows.

“All my windows are locked, Garrett,” Mom told him.

Merry turned back to her. “Let’s just make sure.”

He didn’t even finish saying that before he moved toward the kitchen.

I made my way through the living room, pushing curtains aside and checking windows.

By the time Merry got back, I was done and Ethan was coming back into the room.

“Get your stuff, Ethan. We gotta get you home,” Merry ordered.

Ethan went directly to his backpack by the armchair.

Merry looked to Mom. “Your front light is on, Grace. Keep it on. Okay?”

“What’s goin’ on?” she whispered, hands up at her chest, one folded over the other.

“I don’t wanna alarm you but want you to be smart and safe.” He looked to me. “You too, sweetheart.” His eyes went back to Mom. “Man tried to rob the Shell station. He took off, evading officers. There was gunplay. He’s armed and on foot. Men are huntin’ him and I need to get in that hunt. But he was last seen in the backyard of a house on Fontaine.”

Mom gasped.

Ethan’s eyes shot to me.

I clenched my teeth.

Fontaine Street was two blocks from my fucking street, which was mere blocks away from Mom’s fucking house.

“Should I warn my neighbors?” Mom asked.

“No need to alarm anyone, Grace,” Merry told her. “But I want you to keep your lights on, curtains closed, doors locked. In this situation, a runner shies from light. He’ll keep to the dark.”

“I…okay,” she nodded.

“We gotta go,” Merry said.

Mom kept nodding.

Merry looked to me and jerked his chin to the door. “Hoof it, Cher. You and Ethan get in your car, lock it.”

That was when I nodded.

I forced a grin at Mom, reached out, grabbed her hand, and gave it a quick squeeze.

“Be careful, Garrett,” she called after us as we headed to the door.

“Will do,” he muttered, moving behind Ethan and me, crowding us both.

I separated from my kid at the passenger side door but only because Merry was there, holding it as Ethan got in.

Demonstrating possible superhero powers, even after waiting for Ethan to pull himself in and close the door behind him, Merry still got around to my side and had his hand to my door by the time I’d hauled my ass to my seat.

“Lock,” he growled, slammed the door and jogged to his truck parked behind us.

I locked the doors and put the key in the ignition, eyes to the rearview mirror, asking, “You okay, kid?”

“Merry and Colt and Sul and Mike’ll get ’im,” Ethan declared casually.

I glanced at him.

The cab was filled with the light from Merry’s headlights.

“Go, Mom. Merry needs to get out there,” Ethan ordered.

Shit, exactly when did my little man grow up?

I put the car in gear and went.

There was a repeat of what happened at Mom’s when we got to my place, including Merry taking my hand as he rushed me and Ethan to the house.

Ethan and I checked the windows. Merry walked around, turning on lights, inside and all the ones I had out, and he did this also checking windows and doors.

This didn’t take long before he was at the front door, ready to roll.

“Gotta go,” he stated and ordered, “Lights on all night, Cher.”

I nodded but moved quick when it seemed he was going to take off.

I caught his hand.

He looked down at me.

I repeated Mom’s words quietly, but mine were shaking.

“Be careful, Garrett.”

He held my eyes, looking like he was going to say something or do something.

He checked it and whispered, “I will, baby.”

He gave my hand a squeeze.

Then he was gone.