Текст книги "Jessica Daniel: Think of the Children / Playing with Fire / Thicker Than Water"

Автор книги: Kerry Wilkinson

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Текущая страница: 36 (всего у книги 56 страниц)

29

Jessica didn’t spot Ryan on her first sweep of the pub but on the second she saw him sitting with Lara in a booth towards the back. Andrew had met her outside and said he would wait around the front in case she needed him.

The booths were circular with an entrance only just wide enough for one person to walk through. A soft seat took up the rest of the circumference with a similarly round table in the centre. Jessica walked directly up to the booth she had seen the pair in, squeezed herself through the gap, and sat next to Lara across the table from Ryan.

‘This is cosy,’ she said as both teenagers eyed her with a mixture of shock and, in Ryan’s case, outright anger.

‘You?’ Lara said, recognising Jessica from the time she was door-stepped.

‘You know each other?’ Ryan exclaimed furiously, seemingly trying to address both women at the same time.

‘Old pals, me and Lara,’ Jessica said with a grin. ‘We have lovely little chinwags all about you, Ryan.’

‘Fuck off, do we,’ the girl replied angrily. ‘What do you want?’

‘Just a little chat.’

Jessica could see Ryan was livid, his arms tense, his fists no doubt balled under the table. ‘How did you know where I was?’ He barely moved his mouth as he spoke.

‘Lucky guess. Your hotel is next door, so I thought I’d drop in and see if you were around.’

‘Weren’t you in the papers yesterday?’

Ryan didn’t exactly sound as if he was gloating but he certainly knew he had something over her.

Jessica didn’t want to let him get under her skin. ‘Don’t go telling me you can read? Or did you just look at the pictures?’

Ryan glanced towards Lara. ‘Can you give us a few minutes?’

The girl leant forward. ‘Seriously? Just tell her to piss off.’

‘Wait over there. I need a few minutes.’

Jessica realised she had never heard Ryan sound assertive until he addressed the woman a second time. He’d been angry and aggressive but now his voice was lower and more serious with a tone she hadn’t recognised before. Jessica slid out to let Lara pass as the teenager gave her the dirtiest of looks and muttered a very audible ‘bitch’ as she walked towards the tables Ryan had indicated.

‘She’s a lovely girl,’ Jessica said, sliding back into the booth.

‘How did you know where I was?’ Ryan asked again. ‘Do you have someone following and taking pictures like before?’

‘Should I? Have you got something to hide?’

Ryan sighed. His arms were no longer tense and he seemed more frustrated than angry. ‘Just tell me what you want.’

‘I want to know who Lara is to you and why you’re giving her money.’

The man’s mouth fell open. ‘How do you know about that?’

‘I just do. Now let’s stop all the bollocks and tell me.’

‘I didn’t nick it.’

Jessica swore. ‘I never said you did. I’m here because I’m sick of everything that’s going on. The fires, the girls dying. All of it. Yes I was in the paper yesterday because someone set fire to my house and tried to kill me and my fiancé. I’m here because I want it to stop before someone else gets hurt.’

Jessica was shaking as she finished speaking. She hadn’t thought any of her words through but something about how Ryan had spoken to Lara made him sound less hostile. She was seeing him in a way she hadn’t before.

‘You think it was me?’ he said, eyebrows raised.

‘Just tell me what the money was about.’

Ryan shook his head and sighed. ‘It was for my little boy. Lara and me, we . . . we have a kid. It wasn’t planned or anything, it just happened. We’re not even going out. She was going on about going to the child-support people and all that, so I gave her some money to shut her up. I don’t know how you know.’

Jessica stared at him, thinking he at least appeared to be telling the truth. She figured there was little point in him lying considering she could just ask Lara anyway.

‘Where did you get it?’

‘I work in a garage.’

‘I know but they can’t pay that much.’

‘No but it’s not as if I spend it, is it? My college is free, I buy a bus pass once a month, the house was mine and the hotel’s paid for by the insurance.’

When she thought about it, Jessica realised he was right. Apart from food and transport, he would have nothing to spend his money on. The stupidest thing was that she and Adam had been in the exact same situation, because he had inherited the house with no mortgage from his grandmother. Somehow she had failed to see the parallel.

‘So why were you meeting again tonight?’ Jessica asked.

Ryan was scowling. ‘Nothing. None of your business.’

‘No, you’re right, sorry. It’s just . . . those other girls.’

‘Who?’

‘Molly and Sienna.’

Ryan was clearly struggling to comprehend what she was saying. ‘What about them? Do you think they were something to do with me?’

Jessica felt as if she were drowning. She knew that, to an outsider, between the two of them, Ryan would seem like the rational one.

She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. It’s just from the moment we first met, you were so angry and then everything spiralled from then. The fires, the suicides – and you’re central to everything.’

Ryan looked away and bit his bottom lip. ‘If I’ve been angry, then don’t you think this could all be why? When we first met, I was pissed off because you lot weren’t going to do anything about those threats against my dad. And I was right, wasn’t I? Look at what happened. Why didn’t you have someone protecting us?’

‘That wasn’t my decision.’

‘Fine, but why pick on me after everything? Of course I was fuming. Someone had tried to kill my dad and you were standing around chatting.’

Jessica knew that wasn’t exactly true but, now he said it, she could understand why he had viewed it that way. Rowlands’s ‘why is it always you’ comment was bouncing around her head because she could see so much of herself in Ryan. The first impression he gave of being abrupt and combative was likely the way lots of other people viewed her. The parallels were almost too embarrassing for her to think through.

‘I’m sorry for slapping you.’

Ryan reached up to his lip. ‘You can’t half hit for a girl.’

Jessica didn’t know if she should take it as a compliment. She knew she was in the wrong. ‘Thanks.’

‘When I got in that night, I was all for reporting you but then . . .’

‘. . . you didn’t want to admit you’d been hit by a girl,’ Jessica said, finishing his sentence.

Ryan smiled. ‘Exactly, so I let it go. Why were you following me?’

‘I don’t know, instinct. It was the night after one of the fires and I was keeping an eye out.’

He picked up what was left of the pint of beer he had on the table. ‘Do you at least believe that it’s not me now?’

Jessica looked into his eyes but she already knew the answer. ‘You don’t help yourself. You never had an alibi . . .’

Ryan sipped the drink. ‘I was with Lara those nights. She can probably tell you. Well, maybe not you but someone.’

‘I thought you weren’t going out?’ Ryan raised his eyebrows as a response that Jessica read clearly. ‘Oh, it’s like that.’

‘So can I ask you some questions?’ Ryan said.

Jessica shrugged. None of the conversation had gone the way she had expected.

‘Why would I burn my own house down?’

‘To implicate Anthony and get the insurance money?’

‘I suppose but that’s a lot of hassle.’ Jessica laughed but Ryan continued. ‘It’s true,’ he said. ‘I’ve got better things to do than all of that.’

‘People have gone through much more “hassle” than that to get revenge.’

‘What do I want revenge for? Some dick telling a newspaper he’s got it in for my dad? All I wanted was for you lot to warn him off.’ Jessica nodded, willing to accept his explanation. ‘Why do you keep mentioning Sienna and Molly to me?’ he asked.

‘You called Sienna a slag, you said she was filthy. There was so much anger there. Why do you think I was associating you with her? She had just died and you were effectively saying you hated her. Meanwhile I had a photo of her sucking your fingers as if you were involved. Those are some pretty mixed messages.’

Ryan shrugged and nodded. ‘Sienna was all about mixed messages.’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Well she hung around with a lesbian for a start.’

‘Molly?’

‘Yeah, everyone knew about it.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

Ryan smiled but there was nothing cruel about his expression. ‘How old are you?’

Jessica felt compelled to answer. ‘Thirty . . . something.’

The teenager laughed. ‘I don’t know about you being at school or college or whatever but what do you remember the kids being like? Did you ever have a lesbian at your school? Or someone gay? Or someone really tall? Or short? What happened to them?’

Jessica couldn’t believe she was being lectured by an eighteen-year-old but she knew exactly what he meant. To her, it wasn’t significant if people were of different races or sexualities. To a teenager, especially an immature one, it was something to pick on.

‘You think they were bullied to death?’ she said.

Ryan stared at her as if she had overlooked the most obvious point. ‘Of course not. Sienna was the one everyone looked up to. All the lads wanted to f—, go out with her and all the girls wished they were her – especially because her old man had money.’

Jessica still didn’t understand. ‘Right . . . what am I missing?’

‘Sienna loved the attention. She would snog you and let you touch her tits and so on. It was just the way she was.’

‘But why were you so aggressive about her if that was the case?’

Ryan sighed. ‘Will you get me another beer?’

‘I thought you had money?’

‘I do but surely I deserve something for all of this?’

Jessica motioned to stand, nodding towards Lara. ‘All right but send her home. I can’t take any more of her staring me out from across the room.’

A few minutes later Jessica returned with two pints and slid in across from Ryan. ‘How’d she take it?’ Jessica asked.

‘How do you think? She’s only bothered about the money now she knows I have some. I just want to see my kid. My name’s not even on the bloody birth certificate.’

‘Why not?’

Ryan glanced sideways. ‘Let’s just say there were a few candidates and she didn’t know whose it was at first.’

Jessica wasn’t surprised. ‘Does your dad know?’

‘Not yet. I didn’t tell him straight away because I wanted it to be a surprise when he got out of prison. After the bricks and the fire, the hotel, the attack and everything . . . I got used to keeping it a secret.’

Jessica nodded in acceptance and sipped the froth from the top of her glass. ‘So why were you so aggressive about Sienna?’

Ryan looked at the table before picking up his drink and downing half of it in one. ‘Because I liked her. I thought when she was teasing me and leading me on that it was because she actually liked me. Then she would do it to my mates in front of me too. You got used to the way she was.’

‘But it didn’t stop you liking her?’

‘Of course not.’

‘Did you ever sleep with her?’

Ryan shook his head and drank some more. ‘Some of my mates said they had shagged her but . . . I don’t know. I think she was too much of a tease to actually go through with things.’

Jessica thought about the self-harm marks on the insides of the girl’s thighs and knew that if she had been sleeping with a host of boys, they would have been mentioned by someone at some point. She doubted they were the type of scars Sienna would have been happy with other people knowing about.

‘Do you know she was pregnant?’ she asked.

‘Only because you asked some of the girls about it. They came into class and told us all.’

‘Why?’

‘I dunno. You tell me. Women are weird.’

Jessica suspected the answer was that, as Molly had suggested, the other girls weren’t really Sienna’s friends and were simply clinging on because of the wealth of her father. With that gone, it didn’t matter if they gossiped a little.

‘Do you know why she might have killed herself?’ Jessica asked.

Ryan shook his head, wiping his eye, although Jessica couldn’t see any tears. ‘No.’

‘What about Molly?’

The teenager shrugged. ‘I dunno. Everyone said she was trying to cop off with Sienna.’

Jessica already knew that but it seemed a big leap to make from Molly’s secret crush killing herself to Molly doing the same.

Ryan finished his drink with one final gulp. Jessica had barely had two sips from hers and slid it across the table towards him. ‘You sure?’ he asked, nodding towards the glass.

‘Yeah, you only have to stagger next door, I have to get all the way back to Salford.’

‘Anything else?’ he asked.

‘When I spoke to Molly about you, she . . . well, she wasn’t too willing to talk. The same with Sienna’s other friends. And Lara.’

Ryan shrugged. He seemed to be getting friendlier the more he drank, another parallel Jessica saw with herself. ‘I guess I have that effect on girls,’ he said. ‘Molly hated me because I was a bit of a twat. I’d call her a dyke and all sorts and then Sienna would still hang around with me.’

‘What’s changed?’ Jessica asked, curious about his attitude.

Ryan scratched his head. ‘I guess you just grow up at some point. Especially when you have a kid and your house burns down.’

‘What about the reactions from the other women?’

He shook his head. ‘I dunno the girls you spoke to but, basically, they all hated us lads who would hang around with Si.’

‘What about Lara?’

Ryan snorted. ‘You’ve seen what she’s like. She’s bloody nuts.’

‘So why did you hang around with her?’

He raised his eyebrows again. ‘She does this thing with . . .’

Jessica cut him off. ‘All right, I can imagine.’ She almost added ‘kids today’, before realising how old that would make her sound. She recognised he had good answers for all of her questions. If they did ever need to check his alibis, she thought Lara would be able to provide one. The edginess in the young women’s responses to him seemed understandable in the circumstances.

‘There’s one last thing,’ Jessica said.

By the time they had finished talking, she knew she had all but solved one major part of the puzzle.

30

Jessica knocked on the front door and stepped backwards. She could hear the television being muted from inside before the locks were noisily unbolted. The man who stood at the door in his dressing gown eyed her suspiciously through a small crack before opening it fully.

‘I’m sorry, I know it’s late,’ Jessica said.

‘Why are you here?’ he asked.

A woman appeared in the background and Jessica acknowledged her with a smile before turning to the man. ‘I was just hoping I could come in for a short while. I promise I won’t be long.’

‘Do you have any news about . . . ?’

Jessica shook her head. ‘I wish I did.’

The woman walked over to stand next to her husband. ‘You can come in,’ she said, pulling the door wider and stepping aside.

Jessica wiped her feet, desperate not to make a bad impression before asking the one question she had.

‘Are you all right?’ Nicola North asked. ‘We saw you on the news because of the fire and everything. It looked bad.’

‘I’m okay,’ Jessica said. ‘I was wondering if you might allow me to look around Molly’s room?’

She saw Peter exchange a slightly panicked glance with his wife. ‘I . . . don’t . . . why?’ he said.

Jessica made sure she looked them both in the eye as she spoke. ‘It sounds stupid but, when I was in her room before, it reminded me a little of my own from when I was that age. I just wonder if something was missed.’

Nicola replied. ‘There was a group of your people in there for almost a day . . .’

‘I know, it’s not that. I’m looking for something different. Have you changed much around since . . . ?’

Nicola shook her head. ‘We tidied up after the police left. It’s as it was.’ She looked at her husband, who turned to Jessica.

‘What are you looking for?’

‘I’d rather not say – just in case I don’t find anything.’

Nicola spoke before her husband had a chance. ‘It’s fine. Let us know when you’re finished. Take as long as you want.’

Jessica couldn’t read Peter’s face but he didn’t object. She turned and walked up the stairs, remembering how she had felt when she had made the opposite journey what seemed like such a long time ago.

Molly’s room appeared almost exactly as she remembered it, except that the light fixture had been repaired and the blood stain on the carpet was now only visible if you knew where to look.

The bed seemed pristine, as if it had been made that morning, and the light-coloured linen creaseless. Jessica slid her hand under the mattress, before picking the whole thing up, resting it against the wall so she could see beneath. There were wooden slats running the width of the bed frame but there was nothing on them. Jessica lowered the mattress and re-made the bed, trying to make the corners as sharp as they had been.

She moved to the bookcase and started removing the books one by one, checking inside and then replacing them. Molly’s literary choices were wide-ranging, everything from biographies to romance novels to science fiction. She seemed to read a bit of everything but, after flicking through each one, Jessica couldn’t find what she was looking for.

She looked down the back of the radiator and then, although she suspected the other officers would have already done it, Jessica searched through the chest of drawers and wardrobe.

She tried to stifle a cough but ended up making it worse, sputtering small spots of black and red onto her hand. She took a tissue from the box on the dressing table and wiped her palm and then pocketed it. She didn’t want to admit to anyone that her throat was constantly sore but she had been coughing up blood and bits of black ever since the fire. She knew everyone would tell her to go to the doctor, but she couldn’t face talking about it any more. The truth was, through her dreams and daytime flashes, Jessica had remembered more than enough and wasn’t sure if she could cope with reliving everything that happened.

She scanned around the room, looking for any other hiding place and partly wishing she hadn’t come. When the idea had struck her after the conversation with Ryan, she knew it was a long shot. She had seen the hope in Nicola’s eyes that she might have visited to bring them news, or offer the longed-for closure.

At a slight loss for what to do, Jessica crouched and crawled around the room, feeling into the corners of the carpet to see if there were any areas raised higher than they should be.

She ended up sitting in the centre of the room peering at the ceiling, although she couldn’t see a loft or anything similar. As she stood, she felt her back twinge and instinctively reached around to hold it. She cursed under her breath and sat on the edge of the bed, sinking into the same spot she had on the previous occasion.

Jessica put her palms on either side and pressed down into areas of the mattress which felt firmer. She moved back onto the floor, ignoring the pain in her back, and untucked the sheet, running her hand along the edge of the mattress before finding a small hole. Jessica could just about squeeze her hand in, rummaging between springs and soft sponge-like material before her fingers touched the edge of something solid.

Jessica withdrew her hand, re-adjusted the way she was sitting and then tried reaching in again. This time her arm slid in more comfortably and her fingers closed around the object. As Jessica withdrew the book, small dots of fluff followed it out of the hole, dropping onto the floor.

In her teens, Jessica had kept her diary underneath the carpet which sat under her bed. As far as she knew, no one had ever found it and she burned the contents shortly before turning eighteen. Back then she had found her writings embarrassing and childlike but now she suspected they would be funny.

Jessica wasn’t expecting a humorous read from Molly’s diary but, as she scanned from the most recent entry backwards, she did find the solution to at least one of the cases she wasn’t supposed to be working on.

31

Jessica knew there was no good way to contact Cole that night, so she reluctantly left it until the following morning. As he refused to answer her call on his mobile, there was only one thing for it. She had never heard the chief inspector swear in the entire time she had known him and he had raised his voice fewer than half-a-dozen times. After telling the operator she was his wife and being put through, the DCI broke the habit of a lifetime by both swearing and shouting at Jessica in the same sentence.

If she hadn’t had something so serious to tell him, she would have felt strangely proud.

It was only because of the content of what she had that he didn’t threaten any further disciplinary measure. Jessica told her supervisor everything she had found – and said she would bring him the proof, assuming she was allowed on the premises.

Reluctantly, he not only agreed to that but, with her standing firm, he said she could take part in the questioning if Reynolds agreed.

Jessica knew he would.

After driving to the station and talking Cole, Reynolds, Cornish and Rowlands through what she had discovered, Jessica allowed them to take Molly’s diary. She wanted to make the arrest but the chief inspector gave her the choice of either sitting in on the interview – with special emphasis on ‘sitting in’, not ‘taking part’ – or simply going back to her flat to rest.

Jessica took the interview option, although everyone was aware the chances of her sitting quietly were slim.

Within a couple of hours, the suspect had been arrested, brought to the station and had spoken to a solicitor. Jessica was waiting in the interview room, as Reynolds made sure the recording equipment was working.

‘Are you going to be all right?’ he asked.

‘Definitely.’

‘Jess, I’m serious.’

‘Me too. I’m fine.’

‘You know you shouldn’t be here.’

‘None of us would be here doing this if it wasn’t for me.’ Jessica wasn’t trying to brag but she wanted to make a point.

‘If you’re sure.’ They sat in silence for a few moments before the inspector added, ‘Dave’s been missing you, by the way.’

‘Rowlands?’

‘Yeah, who else?’

‘What’s up with him?’

‘Something about him breaking up with his girlfriend.’

‘Chloe?’

‘I don’t know. What you kids get up to is your own business. I try to stay out of it all. He’s spent the last few days moping around though.’

Jessica didn’t have time to reply before there was a knock at the door and it swung open. A solicitor in a smart suit entered first, followed by his client. They sat in the chairs opposite the officers, as Reynolds announced everyone’s name. The inspector had given up any hope of keeping Jessica quiet and allowed her to take her usual seat. As she pointed out, she knew the case better than anyone anyway.

After the announcements had been made, Jessica stared at the person in front of her. ‘How are you doing, Aidan?’ she asked. ‘Long time, no see.’

‘I don’t know why I’m here,’ the tutor said, looking to his solicitor for guidance.

Jessica knew she couldn’t specifically talk about Ryan’s drawings because she shouldn’t have had them in the first place.

She realised her mistake at the college. She suspected that, after they had asked the tutor about Ryan, Aidan had sketched them himself as a way of deflecting their investigation. He knew they could never be used as evidence.

Instead, Jessica mentioned the other reason they had brought in the teacher. ‘Sienna Todd.’

Aidan seemed instantly defensive. He shuffled backwards in his seat, crossing his arms. ‘What about her? I thought it was a suicide?’

Jessica opened a cardboard wallet and took out the photocopies they had made of Molly’s diary. ‘I’m just going to read you a few things and you can say if they sound familiar. I’ll go from the earliest entry, if only to give your solicitor the full picture. Is there anything you’d like to say first?’

Aidan said nothing, staring at Jessica with his mouth open. She could tell he was terrified.

‘Okay, well, if you’re sitting comfortably then I’ll begin,’ Jessica said, then started to read.

‘I know there’s something that Si isn’t telling me. She’s been weird ever since that time she told her dad she was staying over at mine but really didn’t. I keep wanting to ask her what’s going on but don’t want to fall out. At first I thought it was because Rebecca was telling people that Si fucked two lads in the college toilets. I don’t know why Si puts up with it. It’s not as if being a virgin is anything to be ashamed of. Everyone thinks she sleeps around. If only they knew.’

Jessica looked up at Aidan. ‘Anything to say?’ She glanced across at the man’s solicitor and, from the nervous look on his face, she knew that he must have a good idea where things were going.

‘Nothing?’ she continued. ‘All right then, how about this from five days later.

‘Oh my God. I can’t believe it. I feel like crying. Si told me tonight that she’s not a virgin any longer. She didn’t want to say who but it’s definitely a boy. I can’t even think about it. Some of the lads are going around school saying horrible things but it can’t be any of them. Si told me she was only stringing them along. I wish she would tell me the truth but maybe it’s my fault for not telling her how I felt sooner?’

Aidan still wasn’t reacting and Jessica knew she was going to have to read everything she had. ‘This next one’s around eight weeks later,’ she said.

‘Today I’ve spent most of the day in my bedroom with Si. Usually that would be brilliant but I finally found out why she’s been feeling ill all week.’

Jessica raised her eyes. ‘Just for your benefit, this next sentence is in capital letters,’ she said.

‘SHE’S FUCKING PREGNANT. As in there’s a baby inside of her. It’s a good job Mum and Dad were out because there’s no way they wouldn’t have heard. Si went through almost a whole box of tissues. She didn’t want to say who the father is but she didn’t want her dad finding out either. She spent the whole day stressing. I was trying to say it was going to be all right but we both knew that was bollocks. I don’t know what she’s going to do.’

Jessica took a breath and brought out another sheet from the wallet. ‘I’m skipping through a bit here but you’ll get the gist. Anyway . . .

‘I didn’t think she was going to do it but Si eventually told her dad about being pregnant today. She asked me to be there with her, partly because she thought he might shout a bit less. Fat chance! He was horrible to her. He called her a slut and a slag and said she was a whore just like her mum. He screamed at her to tell him the name of the boy but she wouldn’t. I think he might have killed whoever it was if she had. Eventually, he just said he’d pay to make it go away. I felt really bad because Si was going to go to the clinic without telling him but I thought she would feel better if she told her dad. I didn’t know he would react like that. Si said she was all right but I don’t know how she could have been. I thought it was just a jab or something but there are these sit-down interview things. I’ve told her I’ll go with her wherever she wants.’

Aidan was white as Jessica finished reading. He was staring at the back of the sheets of paper she was reading from, as if he could somehow see the words. ‘Just a couple more,’ Jessica said.

‘I don’t know what I thought an abortion was but I didn’t think it would be like that. It’s really messy and poor Si just cried and cried. I don’t think it was the procedure itself, more the fact she had to go through everything with just me. Her dad was somewhere else on business and she said the father refused to come. I asked her who it was, expecting her to say nothing like always. I actually felt guilty when she told me because it felt like I’d taken advantage of her when we were sat in the waiting room. She just said, “It’s Aidan.” At first I was like, “Aidan who” but then it dawned on me that she meant our tutor.’

Jessica heard a small sob come from the man but she didn’t want to interrupt the flow.

‘I’ve always found him a little creepy. It’s the way he looks at some of the girls. Sometimes you’ll see him watching them leave or whatever. I know he’s always had something for Si. I think she probably knew too. It turns out that, on the night she told her dad she was at mine, she was actually at his. Si didn’t want to say because he’s married. She feels really bad about it. She reckoned there were pictures of his wife in the living room and everything. I really don’t know why she went through with it. Apparently Aidan’s wife was on a work trip or something but I don’t know why she chose to lose her virginity to him. I said that she should tell someone but she didn’t want to. I think she’s in love with him. Either that or she thinks she is.’

Aidan’s solicitor interrupted. ‘What are you hoping to achieve through all of this?’

Jessica looked at Aidan, ignoring the other man. ‘Do you want to tell him or shall I?’ Aidan said nothing but reached for a tissue from the table.

‘Fine,’ Jessica said.

‘I didn’t know if I would be able to write this down but I figured maybe someone will read it one day. I know I should go and tell people but I have no proof. I’ve been hoping Si told someone else what was going on but, if she did, no one else is saying it. I don’t know how to even write this because it somehow doesn’t seem real. Maybe I’m hoping that, by writing it, it helps me to figure out what happened. I know I’m going to re-read these next few words over and over but . . . Si is dead. It sounds like she killed herself but I don’t know. She said she was going to the cinema with Rebecca but then I don’t know what happened. They’re saying she slit her wrists. I can’t believe it. I’ve just read the last sentence over and over and I still can’t believe it. My phone rang earlier and I thought it might be her, even though she’s gone. She told me Aidan was going to leave his wife for her but then she seemed really upset yesterday and didn’t want to talk about it. She was avoiding me this morning but I think it was because she knew I would ask about things. I don’t know what to do. I’ve already told the officers I don’t know anything. I think they’ll be back but, if I tell them something then, it will seem suspicious. I just want to cry. I wish Si was here.’

Jessica’s throat was feeling dry. She took two long sips from a cup of water on the table, carefully watching Aidan. His solicitor had been furiously making notes throughout the previous entry but the tutor seemed largely unmoved. The earlier tears had stopped but still stained his face as he continued to stare at the photocopies Jessica was reading from.