Текст книги "Jessica Daniel: Think of the Children / Playing with Fire / Thicker Than Water"

Автор книги: Kerry Wilkinson

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 56 страниц)

‘The “trying to get the DCI to swear” game? Of course. It was my idea.’

‘No one managed it then?’

‘No, but I got close. I found this news article online about some agricultural argument thing in Somerset. The headline was, “Forking Hell”. I tried to get him to read it out loud but he wasn’t having it.’

‘In other words, you forked up.’

It was such a bad pun that neither of them could resist laughing.

‘That was pathetic,’ Rowlands concluded when he had composed himself.

Jessica couldn’t deny that. ‘Are you busy on Christmas Eve?’ she asked.

He screwed his face up. ‘I don’t know. I’m probably going to be buying everyone’s presents.’

‘Seriously? I thought you’d finally grown up?’

‘Just joking. Chloe and me are spending the day together.’

‘Do you fancy coming to mine?’

‘What for?’

‘I’m cooking everyone Christmas Dinner a day early.’

Rowlands snorted. ‘No, seriously, what for?’

Jessica refused to take the bait. ‘Seriously. I’m cooking everyone dinner. Me, my mate Caroline, my boyfriend Adam, Hugo, plus you and Chloe if you’re up for it.’

Dave must have realised Jessica wasn’t joking as he stopped smiling. ‘Hugo’s going?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re seeing that Adam dude again?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re cooking?’

‘Yes!’ Jessica almost shouted the final response.

‘But you don’t cook. The last time I was round, you burned a frozen pizza then ended up getting everyone to chip in for a takeaway.’

‘So what?’

‘Well, what are we having?’

‘A Christmas dinner. Roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, parsnips, turkey, gravy. You know, a Christmas dinner.’

Dave stared back at her clearly not knowing what to say before finally stumbling over a reply. ‘I don’t eat peas.’

‘Who doesn’t eat peas?’

‘I don’t. They’re all green and little and just pea-y.’

‘Whatever. I’ll leave them off your plate. Are you coming?’

The constable didn’t seem to know how to respond, finally throwing his hands up. ‘Fine. I’ll check with Chloe but it should be all right. We’ll be there.’

‘Brilliant. Three o’clock.’

‘Fine. There’s no way I’m going to miss this. I’ll make sure I’ve got the numbers “nine” and “nine” typed into my phone, then the minute you set the kitchen on fire, I’ll press the other “nine”. Let’s just hope the fire brigade aren’t on another call.’

25

The exchange with Rowlands calmed Jessica to such a degree that she wasn’t fuming by the time she arrived at Adam’s house to pick him up. She parked on the road outside and phoned him because she didn’t fancy getting out of the vehicle to ring the doorbell. He laughed at her laziness but soon emerged from the house carrying a small overnight bag across his shoulder and a suit hanger in his hand, which he put on the back seat, then sat in the front.

‘What’s with the suit?’ Jessica asked, pulling away.

‘I figured if we’re staying at yours tonight and you’re cooking for Christmas tomorrow, it’d be nice to dress a bit smartly.’

‘Is this to guilt me into wearing a dress?’

Adam laughed. ‘You’re so suspicious all the time.’

‘It comes with the job.’

He chuckled again. ‘What’s the plan?’

‘We’ve got to go to the supermarket to get some bits for tomorrow. I called Caz earlier and she doesn’t mind sleeping on the sofa tonight. We’re going to clear all the furniture to one side tomorrow, then pull the dining table out from the kitchen and eat in the living room.’

‘And you’re really cooking?’

Jessica sounded as indignant as she could. ‘Yes. Why does no one believe me? Caroline thought I was joking too.’

‘Maybe it’s because you don’t cook?’

‘I do.’

‘Pot noodles, beans on toast and heating up a poppadom to go with a takeaway curry isn’t cooking.’

‘What is it then?’

‘Heating food. You don’t cook, you heat.’

‘Well, thanks for your confidence.’

Jessica didn’t particularly feel aggrieved and was aware her friends had a point. She had no idea why she’d decided to do something completely out of the ordinary for her. Since getting back together with Adam, she had made a pact of sorts with herself to stop being so stuck in her ways. The thought of cooking a large meal for herself and five of her closest friends was terrifying but she resolved to go with it.

The supermarket was heaving with people who seemingly had a similar idea to Jessica about buying food before Christmas Eve. Children were running in all directions and stressed adults heaving overflowing trolleys of alcohol and food up and down the aisles. Jessica could feel herself becoming frustrated by the lack of room to manoeuvre – and because a wheel on the back of the trolley she had chosen didn’t seem to face the same direction as the other three. Adam said he was happy to push but that would have felt too much like giving in, so she continued to fight against it, tolerating his gentle amusement.

After finding most of what they needed, Jessica was left looking for one final item. She stopped one of the female workers walking past. ‘Do you know where the flour is?’ she asked.

‘Flowers? We sell bunches in the front, right where you walk in.’ The woman took two steps to walk away but Jessica managed to reply in time.

‘Not “flowers”, “flour”, as in the stuff you make cakes with.’

The worker spun around. ‘Oh right, “flour”.’ She pointed towards an aisle Jessica had already checked twice. ‘It’s that one, aisle twenty.’

‘I already looked there.’

‘It’s about three-quarters of the way down the aisle at the bottom.’ The person went to walk off but Jessica again stopped her.

‘Can you show me?’

‘Er yeah, I . . . okay.’ The woman started heading quickly past Jessica in the direction she had indicated.

Jessica struggled to rotate the trolley, finally managing to turn it just in time to see the woman entering the aisle.

‘Are you all right?’ Adam asked.

Without looking at him, Jessica knew he had a smug grin on his face. She ignored him, walking as briskly as she could before sliding to a stop and skidding around the corner into aisle twenty herself. She was looking forward to the over-confident supermarket worker being proven wrong but felt her heart sink as she saw the woman pointing at a spot on the shelf she had definitely gone past twice.

As Jessica approached, the worker was still pointing and sounded particularly cocky. ‘It’s just there, see. Aisle twenty.’

‘Thanks very much,’ Jessica replied through gritted teeth. The worker walked away and Adam crouched down to pick up a bag of flour.

‘Plain or self-raising?’ he asked.

‘It wouldn’t surprise me if the flour wasn’t here at all but that smug bitch just grabbed a few off the shelves somewhere else to make us look stupid,’ Jessica said. ‘We walked up and down here twice.’

Adam grinned up at her, repeating his question.

‘I don’t know, what’s the difference?’ Jessica asked.

‘One raises, the other doesn’t.’

‘All right, smart-arse. Which one should I use?’

‘You’re the chef.’

‘Fine. Get both and I’ll use half of each.’

Adam stood and put one of each type of flour in the trolley. ‘Are we done?’

‘Yes, if I spend any longer in here, I might just murder someone. Preferably one of those little shits who keep running up and down.’

Jessica did her best to wheel the trolley to the end of the aisle. As far as she could see, each checkout counter had at least two people in line. ‘We’ll use the self-service ones at the bottom,’ she said to no one in particular, shunting the cart in and out of the queuing people until she reached the tills that allowed people to scan their own shopping.

‘Do you want me to scan?’ Adam asked.

‘No, I’m fine.’

Jessica was determined to retain some degree of control and started to swipe items, as Adam helped put them in bags. As they neared the end, she reached the alcohol they had bought. She scanned the bottle of vodka and a message appeared on the screen warning she had to be over eighteen. Adam placed the bottle in a bag but it wouldn’t let her process any more items. Jessica looked up to see a red light whirring above her head and a spotty-faced young man hurrying towards her. The closer he got, the younger he appeared until Jessica concluded he was definitely no older than thirteen or fourteen.

‘Is everything okay?’ he asked in a high-pitched voice.

‘Just this vodka,’ Jessica said. ‘It’s checking our age.’

The man looked her up and down. ‘Have you got ID?’

Jessica squinted at him, wondering if he was playing with her. ‘ID?’

‘Yes, to prove your age.’

‘Are you joking?’

‘Er, no, we require ID.’ The worker pointed to a sign above the counter which mentioned something about having to look over twenty-one to buy alcohol.

‘Do you think I look under twenty-one?’ Jessica asked.

‘I, er . . . we require ID,’ the man repeated.

‘I don’t have ID. I’m thirty-four, for crying out loud. I’ve not been asked for ID since I was about fifteen.’

‘I understand that, Madam, but . . .’

‘Am I on camera or something? Is this going to be on TV?’ Jessica knew some people who might feel flattered at being asked to prove their age but she certainly wasn’t one of them. She knew there was no way she looked under eighteen, it was just this pre-pubescent was trying to make life difficult for her.

Adam spoke up. ‘I’ve got ID if it helps, here.’ He reached forward to show the man his driving licence but the worker shook his head.

‘Sorry, I can’t accept that because you could be buying it for her,’ he replied, nodding towards Jessica, his face utterly serious.

‘This is ridiculous,’ Jessica said. ‘Seriously, how old are you? Thirteen? Fourteen?’

‘Ma’am, I . . .’

‘Stop calling me that. Can I speak to your manager?’ Jessica could see someone else in line behind them listening to the conversation.

‘I’m sorry, the manager is currently busy. You could wait but it might be a while. He’ll only tell you what I already have anyway.’

Jessica was weighing up the best way to tell the man exactly what she thought of him before Adam interrupted. ‘It’s okay, we’ll just take the food.’

Despite stopping at an off-licence close to her house, Jessica was still angry when she arrived home, much to Adam and Caroline’s amusement. ‘You should take it as a compliment,’ Caroline said but Jessica was having none of it.

Desperate not to completely mess things up, Jessica got up early the next morning and made a list of everything she had to do. Caroline had given her a cook book as a birthday present, no doubt wanting to give her a nudge in the right direction. She hadn’t thought she would ever use it but now it would come in handy. She wrote down everything she was going to make, noted how long everything should take, then worked backwards so she knew what she would have to cook first. Essentially, everyone was right when they said she didn’t cook but she figured that was largely because she had never tried. As she read the method for making Yorkshire pudding, she thought it couldn’t be that hard.

That afternoon, Adam and Caroline rearranged the living room as Jessica continued to refuse any offers of help. Despite an accident opening one of the bags of flour which resulted in one of the walls ending up with a fairly heavy dusting, Jessica thought she was doing a fairly good job – particularly judging by the smells coming from the cooker.

Hugo was the first person to arrive. Caroline answered the door and Jessica heard her welcoming him in. She hadn’t seen him in a few weeks, since her friend had moved in. His real name was Francis and he was a part-time magician, although he didn’t seem to do anything else the rest of his time. He had helped her through a bad spell emotionally and always cheered her up when they met. He was an old university friend of Dave.

Jessica was at the oven when the door opened and Hugo stepped in. She glanced towards him, quickly doing a double-take. He was wearing a full suit with canvas trainers that didn’t match and, most bizarrely, a top hat. Despite the smartness of the suit, he still made it look scruffy. ‘What are you wearing?’ she asked.

Hugo shrugged dismissively as she had seen him do so many times before. ‘Dunno. I thought it best to dress up.’

‘What’s with the hat?’

Hugo took it off, twirling it impressively in his hand before putting it back on his head and shrugging again. ‘I’ve been trying a new look for the act.’ His long dark hair had grown a little since the last time Jessica had seen him and was now below his shoulders. He had tied it back into a half-ponytail, so some of it was still loose.

‘You’re so weird,’ Jessica said affectionately, stepping away to give him a hug. ‘Is this all part of some big trick you’ve got planned?’ she asked, nodding towards the hat.

When it was just the two of them, he acted relatively normally but whenever there were a few more people around, Hugo would pull off some sort of illusion. He shrugged again, although that seemed to be his standard response to most things.

‘Do you want some help?’ he asked.

‘Did they tell you to ask that?’

‘Who?’

‘Adam and Caroline?’

‘No, you just look . . .’

‘Right, you can go join them in the living room. Out.’ Jessica shooed her friend away and closed the door again, checking the clock above it to see how long she had left. It was a few minutes to three and she was aiming to have everything ready for half past. As she put a tray of Yorkshire puddings she hoped would rise into the oven, the doorbell rang again and she heard Dave’s and Chloe’s voices from the hallway.

The constable was also in a suit and Chloe had a short black dress on. ‘Why has everyone dressed up?’ Jessica asked in annoyance.

‘I thought it was some official sit-down dinner thing and thought I’d make an effort,’ Rowlands protested. ‘If I’d known you were going to be slumming around in trackie bottoms, I wouldn’t have bothered.’

Jessica looked down at the trousers she was wearing and realised the flour that had exploded had stuck to the cooking oil she’d dripped on herself earlier and created a crusty mess. She knew she was going to have to change.

Ignoring Dave, she turned to Chloe. The woman had short blonde hair with an incredibly toned physique that made Jessica think the woman probably could kick her arse if she so desired. Chloe was smiling awkwardly. ‘Are you okay, Chloe?’ Jessica asked.

‘Fine, thanks.’

‘What about me?’ Rowlands asked.

‘You’re always fine. Now sod off and leave me alone.’

‘Burnt anything yet?’

‘Only your food, pea-boy.’

Chloe laughed. ‘I keep telling him it’s weird not to like peas.’ Dave quickly shuffled his girlfriend out of the kitchen, perhaps suspecting the women were going to gang up on him.

When it was time to dish up the food, Jessica called Caroline in to help her get everything onto the plates while she went to her room and quickly changed. She thought about putting on the pair of jeans she always wore at the weekend but, given all three men were wearing suits, while Chloe had a short dress on and Caroline had made something of an effort too, she opted to go with the flow. Jessica opened her wardrobe and shunted ninety per cent of the items to one side before picking a blue dress from a hanger. She hadn’t worn it for as long as she could remember. The hem came to just above her knee and it was the shortest piece of clothing she could remember wearing since the days when Caroline was a university student and they used to go out together. She was pleased it still fitted and untied her hair before dashing bare-footed back to the kitchen.

‘Wow,’ Caroline said as Jessica entered.

‘Yeah, sod off, it’s just a dress.’

‘All right, aren’t you touchy?’ Caroline was clearly teasing. She was wearing a similar dress in red but had put an apron over the top of it while she scooped the food onto the plates. ‘You’ve done a good job with this here,’ she added. ‘Potatoes a little burnt but all good apart from that.’

‘I like them burnt.’

‘Fair enough. They’re ready to go through.’

Jessica carried the first plate into the living room. The table was set up with some placemats Caroline had found and she had also bought Christmas crackers. The chairs were a mixture of ones that folded and the regular ones from in the kitchen. Because of that, everyone was at slightly different heights. As she came into the room, Jessica saw Adam smiling at her but Rowlands exhaled loudly. ‘Holy shit, you look like a girl.’

Jessica put the plate down in front of him, then slapped him on the back of the head before leaving and returning with another plate which she gave to Hugo.

When they were all sitting at the table with a plate in front of them, there was an uneasy silence with everyone waiting for someone else to start. ‘It looks good,’ Dave said.

Jessica picked up her fork and thrust it into one of the potatoes. ‘Fine, I’ll go first,’ she said, stuffing the entire thing into her mouth. Once it was clear she wasn’t going to collapse, the rest of her guests began to eat too. ‘You could have started,’ Jessica whispered to Adam.

He squeezed her thigh under the table. ‘You look nice,’ he replied, ignoring her. ‘I’ve never seen you in a dress.’

‘Seriously?’ Adam shook his head as he removed his hand and started cutting into a Yorkshire pudding. Jessica realised that they saw each other almost exclusively after work when she still had her suit on. When they went out, she usually wore jeans – not just for him but because she always did.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Rowlands opposite her speaking far too loudly. ‘What the hell is that?’ He was pointing with his fork towards something on his plate. Everyone turned to look and Chloe stuck her fingers in and picked it up. For a few moments, Jessica thought she had done something wrong, before realising the other woman was holding a single pea. ‘It was hidden under the turkey,’ Rowlands protested.

‘Sorry,’ Caroline said. ‘I tried to make sure there weren’t any on yours. Jess said you didn’t want any.’

‘Ugh, it touched other things,’ Rowlands added, a disgusted look on his face.

‘It’s just a pea,’ Chloe said, putting it in her mouth. ‘It won’t hurt you.’

‘How old are you?’ Jessica asked mockingly. Rowlands nervously poked the rest of his food with the fork, checking underneath for any other hidden vegetables.

Jessica was pleased everyone seemed to enjoy the meal. Afterwards, Hugo insisted on doing the washing-up, while Adam and Dave helped out, even though the latter was reluctant. As the three women moved the table out of the way and started to rearrange the furniture, Caroline stopped to hug her friend. ‘That was really good, well done.’

‘Cheers.’

‘I’m sorry for being a burden these past few weeks.’

‘It’s all right, don’t worry, you’re not. I’ve just got lots going on.’

As Jessica and Caroline carried the folded-down table into the corner, Chloe spoke. ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Me?’ Jessica asked.

The woman was standing in the centre of the room curling a strand of hair around her finger and letting it go again. ‘Yeah. It’s just . . . we’ve met a couple of times now and I know you’re mates with Dave but you’re always so, erm, friendly . . . I was just wondering if you’ve ever, erm . . . you know? Sorry . . .’

Chloe was clearly nervous about asking but it seemed to be something she’d had on her mind for a while. Jessica looked at Caroline then back at Chloe before bursting out laughing. It took her a little while before she could compose herself enough to answer. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh but, oh God . . .’ Jessica went across and hugged the other woman. ‘Have you got a brother?’ she asked as she released her.

‘One older, one younger.’

‘How do you feel about the younger one?’

‘I don’t know . . . he’s just my brother.’

‘Exactly. I don’t have any brothers or sisters but Dave’s just there for me to annoy. Believe me, nothing like that has ever happened between us.’

Chloe seemed relieved. ‘Oh right, it’s just that you’re always fighting. I thought it was like at school where the boys only torment the girls they secretly fancy.’

Jessica didn’t know the best way to respond, eventually opting for: ‘Believe me when I say this in the nicest possible way, he’s all yours.’

Chloe broke into a smile. ‘Sorry . . . I just wanted to ask . . .’

When the men had finished cleaning up, the six of them sat around the living room chatting about their own memories of Christmases gone by. Jessica was sitting on Adam’s lap with an arm around his neck, happy with any conversation that didn’t involve work. Hugo was amusing them with a series of card tricks and had finally taken off the top hat.

‘Hugo,’ Jessica shouted, as the wine she’d had with the meal began to take hold. ‘How long have you known Dave?’

Hugo was sitting cross-legged on the floor, shuffling a deck of cards one-handed by spinning and tossing them into the air. ‘I dunno, since uni. Maybe nine or ten years?’

‘Do you have any dirt?’

Hugo wasn’t looking at her but was instead in his own world, playing with the cards. She had seen him in this mood frequently, where he would be fully engaged in a conversation but to anyone not immediately involved, it would seem as if he was oblivious to what was going on around him.

‘What do you mean?’ he asked.

‘Steady,’ Rowlands warned as Chloe, who was sitting next to him on the sofa, giggled.

‘Yeah, come on, dish the dirt,’ Chloe said with a hiccup.

‘Shall I tell them about the business cards, Dave?’ Hugo said, putting the cards down and picking up his top hat again.

The response was instant. ‘No.’

‘Oh, go on,’ Jessica said. ‘You’ve got to now.’ Chloe joined in with the encouragement while Dave was equally adamant.

‘Don’t you dare,’ he warned.

‘Let’s put it to a vote,’ Jessica said. ‘All in favour of hearing about the business cards, put your hands up.’ She and Chloe thrust their arms in the air instantly while she opened her eyes widely and stared at Adam. ‘If you don’t put one of your hands up, you’ll be needing it to perform other duties this weekend that I certainly won’t be involved with.’ Adam made his apologies, smiling, then half-raised his arm. Caroline was beginning to fall asleep as she rested her head on the corner of the sofa. ‘Caz?’ Jessica said to no response.

‘Three-all,’ Dave declared with a smug tone. ‘That’s not a majority.’

‘Come on, Hugo, get that hand up,’ Jessica urged.

It seemed as if he hadn’t heard her as he spun the hat on one finger before, finally, he stopped and lifted his arm into the air, turning to Rowlands with a grin. ‘Sorry, mate.’

Jessica slurred a cheer and knew she’d had too much to drink.

‘When we were back at uni,’ Hugo continued, ‘we had this careers conference thing where some guy came in to talk to us about the future. It was all about how best we could present ourselves to employers and so on.’

‘Stop—’ Rowlands interrupted before Chloe dug him in the ribs.

Hugo didn’t stop. ‘Afterwards Dave went down to the train station. There was this booth there where you could put your details in and it would print off business cards for you. When he was done, Dave brought this pack of about five hundred back and showed us all. It had his name at the top with his phone number and one word at the bottom.’ He paused for dramatic effect before revealing the moniker Rowlands had given himself. ‘It just said one thing. David Rowlands: Trendsetter.’

As Hugo said the word, there was an explosion of laughter from both Jessica and Chloe. Jessica was already feeling tipsy and the laughing wasn’t helping the room from stopping spinning. ‘Trendsetter?’ she exclaimed loudly. ‘What were you thinking?’

Rowlands looked indignantly at her. ‘I don’t know, it was just a word that stuck in my head. I thought employers would be impressed.’

‘Yeah, I’m sure the local supermarket manager would have been crying out for a “trendsetter” to stack shelves for him. What happened to the cards?’

‘I don’t know. I think I binned them all.’

Chloe was still laughing but at least making an effort to stifle it, which was more than Jessica had done.

‘All right, all right,’ Dave added, glaring at his girlfriend. ‘Calm down, it’s not that funny.’ He turned to Hugo. ‘What about you, anyway? You only took up magic to get a girlfriend.’

Hugo shrugged, continuing to play with his hat. Jessica was appreciating his humour more and more by the second. ‘What about the speed dating?’ Hugo asked.

‘Oh, sod right off,’ Rowlands said. ‘Don’t tell them that.’

Chloe composed herself enough to cross the room and sit next to Hugo. ‘Go on, you can tell us.’

Dave leant back on the sofa, crossing his arms. ‘Did you plan all this?’ he asked Jessica accusingly.

‘If I’d thought of this, do you think I would have waited so long?’ Jessica replied. ‘I’d have had Hugo round ages ago dishing the dirt.’

‘Fine, just tell them,’ Rowlands said, sinking further into the seat. Chloe gave a small squeal and crossed back to sit next to him, snuggling her head into his reluctant shoulder.

Hugo stopped playing with the hat, stretching himself out so he was lying flat on his back looking at the ceiling. ‘When we were freshers, there was this speed-dating event in the first few weeks to help everyone get to know each other. Dave, me and a few other lads went along. There were about fifty or sixty people there and you got around a minute with each person before the buzzer went and you moved on. We’d only got to the second person when we heard this shouting and Dave was having an argument with some girl.’

Jessica looked across at Dave. ‘You had a row with someone while speed-dating?’

He shrugged. ‘Yeah, I dunno, something like that.’

‘How can you fall out with a complete stranger in less than a minute?’

‘She was going on about how “Return of the Jedi” is better than “The Empire Strikes Back”.’

‘Oh for f . . . So it wasn’t even a proper argument, it was a geek argument?’ Jessica said.

‘Well, obviously it’s not better,’ Rowlands protested as Chloe hugged him tighter, a large grin on her face.

Caroline was the first to openly fall asleep, although she had been flagging for a while. Between them, they had drunk everything Jessica had bought, as well the bottles of wine brought by her guests. Finally Dave, Chloe and Hugo ordered a taxi. Caroline was asleep on the floor so Jessica and Adam helped her onto the sofa before covering her with two blankets. Jessica was feeling tipsy but not completely drunk. She led Adam out of the room holding his hand but as he shut the door behind them, he stopped and pulled her close to him, hugging her. ‘Did you have a good day?’ he whispered into her ear.

Jessica pulled his arms tighter around her, then turned so she could cuddle him properly. ‘Yeah. It was great.’

‘The food was good.’

Jessica didn’t respond to his compliment but squeezed him tightly. ‘Merry Christmas.’

Adam laughed slightly. ‘Merry Christmas to you too.’

Jessica knew he couldn’t see her because her head was snuggled under his chin but she closed her eyes anyway and took a deep breath. ‘I love you,’ she whispered loud enough for him to hear.