Текст книги "When We Fall"

Автор книги: Kendall Ryan

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Chapter Nine

McKenna

With the drama of the last few days behind us, I wanted to make the most of my time with Knox. We needed to be alone, to just reconnect. I loved that he’d planned a date for us, and deciding that I quite liked having a boyfriend, I wanted to return the favor. I wanted to go somewhere we could both relax and enjoy the day together. And I’d told Belinda that despite returning to Chicago after my extended leave of absence, she should give my Saturday morning sex-addict group to my replacement permanently.

Which meant both Knox and I were free on Saturdays now. My new schedule felt positively decadent. Having time to actually pursue a relationship was something new for me. The old me would have felt guilty. The new me was going to enjoy every minute of it.

When Knox picked me up later that afternoon, I slid into the warmth of his Jeep, inhaling his masculine scent and instantly feeling happy and secure.

“Are you okay with me being in charge today?” I smiled at him.

His gaze jerked over to mine and an unexpected jab of lust shot straight between my thighs at the wicked grin on his lips. “I think I can handle that. Where to, angel?”

“Downtown,” I answered. “Park somewhere near Lakeshore Drive.”

He was dressed in a warm-looking thermal tee and a black fleece, and since it wasn’t totally freezing out today, my plan should work.

Once he’d parallel parked on a side street just off Lakeshore Drive, I laced his fingers with mine and led him down to the walking path bordering the lake. It was the middle of January, which meant we were completely alone on the beach. Just me, Knox, and the endless blue water stretched out before us, gently lapping at the sandy shoreline.

We huddled into our coats and almost by instinct, our joined hands squeezed tighter. It was just us. No kids. No Brian or Amanda. No drama. I breathed in a deep, refreshing lungful of fresh air and sighed happily.

We walked side by side in silence for a few moments, and though it looked like there was something heavy on his mind, when I questioned Knox, the tension in his features fell away and he dropped a kiss to my mouth.

“Everything’s perfect, angel,” he assured me.

Perhaps it was still lingering worry over Jaxon. Either way, I dismissed it. Knox was by my side and that was all that mattered. I was learning to let the past go, to stay in the moment and enjoy.

I nestled closer into his side, inhaling his intoxicating scent.

“Are you cold?” he asked, leaning down to press a kiss against my temple.

Not with his big body to shield me from the wind. “Not really, no.”

“So, are we gonna talk about things now that you’re back?” he asked.

“Like?” I prompted.

“Like your many volunteering jobs, where you live, and when you’re going to buy a car and stop taking the bus.” He raised an eyebrow at me.

I remembered feeling protected and cared for right from the first time I’d gone to Knox’s house—he was so against me taking the bus across town on my own. He’d insisted on personally escorting me home. He’d wormed his way into my heart right from the beginning, even if I didn’t see it at the time. All the signs were there. He was a good man. Or maybe I was the exception, since I was pretty sure he hadn’t always treated women with such care and respect.

I glanced over at him to address his questions. “As for volunteering, I’m no longer leading the Saturday morning group.” I was guessing he’d figured as much since I hadn’t in a couple of months now. “A car is on my to-do list. Brian said he’d help me look.”

“I’ll take you, McKenna.” His look said not to argue.

Okay then. Knox will help me get a car.

I nodded and continued. “And what about where I live?” I paused, waiting for him to give me some clue about what he’d meant. My apartment with Brian was in a safe part of town. I didn’t see what issue he could possibly take up there.

He stopped walking and turned to face me. The sunlight glinting in his beautiful eyes showed off shades of moss green and warm brown. He released my hand, only to bring both of his palms up to cup my face. “When you were away, I realized something about myself. I love you, McKenna, and I don’t want to be without you. I want you to move in with me.”

The air felt trapped in my chest as I processed his words. He wanted me. He loved me. His offer was much more significant than he could have known. He was giving me my family back. The piece of me that had been missing for all these years. A warm home filled with love and activity. Tears welled in my eyes.

“Knox…” I sobbed, inhaling ragged breaths.

“Shhh. Don’t answer now. I know it’s a lot to process, something you probably want to think about. But I promise you one thing—I’m never going back to the man I was before. You’ve changed me. You came into my life and completely fucking gutted me. I thought I couldn’t love again, but you were right all along. Love was the exact thing I was missing and searching for in all those women.”

I flinched slightly at his words. Being reminded of his past wasn’t easy, but his thumb brushed across my bottom lip, deliciously distracting me.

“I was looking for you the entire time. And it took a downward spiral for me to find you. My angel,” he whispered.

I wanted to tell him yes, of course I would move in, but my lips were busy attacking his. I kissed him with a brutal force that he matched with swipe after swipe of his tongue against mine. He hauled me closer, one hand still cupping my face, and the other pressed against my butt to align our bodies together. Suddenly being in public seemed like a terrible idea.

“Knox…” I breathed against his damp lips.

“Yeah?” His voice was a rough growl that sent delicious vibrations spiraling through me.

“Let’s go somewhere.”

“My house,” he answered.

Yes. Please. Anywhere but here. Preferably somewhere with a bed. “Wait.” I pulled back. “Won’t your brothers be there?”

His hazy eyes found mine. “They know we fuck, McKenna.” He pressed his erection against my belly and rubbed it against me.

A whimper fell from my parted lips and I couldn’t argue. I nodded quickly and he led me back to his Jeep. I almost laughed as I tried to keep up with Knox’s pace. His long legs ate up the sidewalk and I pranced alongside him. We’d made it fifteen minutes into our date before we cracked and needed to be alone. But there was no denying my entire body was humming with need. He’d created this side of me. And I was all too happy to go along with it.

We climbed inside the Jeep and Knox wasted no time cranking the ignition and pulling out into traffic. A silent glance in his direction caused a knot to form in my stomach. He was still rock hard in his jeans, the rigid weight of his erection clearly visible through the denim. Desire pulsed through me, hot and uncontained.

“Knox…” I murmured.

His hand curled around the back of my neck, guiding my mouth to his while he maintained eye contact with the road. “Not long, baby,” he assured me, his lips brushing against mine.

I pressed my thighs together, squirming in the seat as his warm tongue licked against my bottom lip. I knew what delicious, naughty things his tongue could do to other parts of my body. A flash of moisture dampened my panties.

I’d survived so long without physical affection and sex, maybe now I was making up for lost time. Either that or Knox alone had unleashed something in me that refused to be contained. Especially now that I knew how good he could make me feel.

When Knox broke the kiss, I found myself unable to resist. I reached across the center console and curled my hand around the hard ridge in his pants, eliciting a soft groan from him.

I rubbed his firm length up and down, loving how big and masculine he felt in my hand. I wanted to make him feel good and lose all control like he did to me. I wanted to see him come apart.

“Shit,” he cursed, his hands gripping the wheel until his knuckles turned white.

I wanted to unbutton his pants, tug down his zipper and free his cock, feel its warm weight against my skin, in my mouth, but I settled for lightly stroking him over his pants.

The raspy breath shuddering in his chest was the only encouragement I needed. Using my fingernails, I lightly raked across him, squeezing and caressing him. I might have said this was for him—meant to turn him on and drive him wild—but it was just as much for me. Touching him, knowing I was bringing him pleasure, made me feel sexy and powerful. Not to mention how it drenched my panties with my own arousal.

Thankfully, we soon pulled to a stop in the driveway behind his house and Knox turned to face me.

“You’re going to regret teasing me, angel.”

The husky tone of his voice and ragged breathing, coupled with the sight of his raging erection, made my stomach flip. I was playing a dangerous game, but there was no way I was stopping now.

He sucked in a few deep breaths, and adjusted the monstrosity in his pants before climbing from the Jeep.

Unlocking the back door, he led me inside. All was peaceful in the house. Tucker and Luke were in the living room, Tuck watching cartoons and Luke busy typing away on the laptop.

Knox and I crept up the stairs without so much as a hello. I felt a little villainous, sneaking off to do naughty things with him, but it was a feeling I liked. I was embracing the bad-girl side of myself that only Knox brought out.

Once we were safely tucked inside his bedroom, with the door locked and closed behind us, Knox’s hungry gaze caught mine and I felt trapped. I was his. Completely at his mercy. He stalked toward me like he was the hunter and I was the hunted.

Not bothering to cross the room to the bed, he pinned me against the wall, his large frame swallowing mine as he pressed his body close. He rubbed his large erection against my belly.

“You wanted to tease me, make me want you, but not let me come… That wasn’t nice, angel.”

I let out a helpless whimper. I hadn’t meant to be mean.

His mouth caught mine, taking my bottom lip between his teeth and tugging it gently. “Naughty girls like you need to be taught a lesson.”

“Are you going to punish me?” I whispered, my lips brushing his.

“I’m going to make sure you never forget who’s in charge.” He lifted my shirt from over my head and tossed it behind him, then he found the clasp on my bra and removed that next. The cool air nipped at me, sending goose bumps across my belly and puckering my nipples. His gaze slipped lower and landed on my breasts. “So pretty,” he said, his thumbs lightly stroking the sensitive pink flesh. A gasp stuck in my throat. His hands were warm and I savored the rough feel of his fingertips against me.

“Knox,” I breathed.

“Shhh. You forgot already, angel, I’m setting the pace today.”

A frustrated whimper escaped my lips and I leaned forward to kiss him. If I could drive him wild, maybe I could get him to move things along faster. I reached for his belt buckle and his mouth moved against mine in a low, throaty chuckle.

“No way, sweetheart. You’re not playing with my cock again until I’m ready for you to. Hands clasped behind you.”

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I laced my fingers behind me, which only caused my breasts to stick out more.

Knox’s wet mouth closed over one nipple, and with his eyes on mine to watch my reaction, he sucked and licked my nipple until it was distended into a firm peak. Then he flicked his tongue back and forth across the other while I watched in agonized pleasure.

His fingers worked at the button of my jeans, then he slowly lowered the zipper and tugged them open to push them down my hips. My panties went next as Knox roughly shoved them down my legs until I could step out of them. I stood before him completely undressed as the chill of the room nipped at me and desire burned hotly inside. The effect was dizzying.

Keeping my fingers laced behind me, I raised up on my toes, needing to be closer to him in any way I could. I nuzzled against his neck, stroking my nose against his rough skin and inhaling his scent. “Can I kiss you?” I murmured.

“Of course.”

I captured his mouth in a hot, hungry kiss, my tongue lightly stroking his while his hands curled around my hips, squeezing as though he was just barely holding back from taking me right here, right now. To which I’d have no objections.

Using his grip around my hips, Knox lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, enjoying the sensation of the hard ridge in his denim pressing into my bottom as he carried me over to his bed. Finally.

He tossed me down onto the mattress and looked down at me for just a second before pulling his shirt off over his head. I loved studying the dips and planes in his abdominals and pecs. I could stare at this man all day; he was a work of art. So masculine and strong, both inside and out. His hands caught his belt and I watched as if in a trance as he slowly undid the buckle and pulled his cock free. He was thick and swollen with need, a large vein running the length of him.

Unable to resist, I rose on my hands and knees and brought my mouth to him, running my tongue along that pulsing vein, teasing, licking, and tasting his smooth length. A low murmur escaped his throat and my core clenched with need. I gripped his shaft, rubbing both hands up and down as my mouth continued to hover over him, licking and sucking all along his steely cock.

His fists gripped my hair, moving it away from my face, and his hips rocked forward, plunging him deeper into my mouth.

“Christ, angel.” He cursed low under his breath and tilted my chin up so I’d meet his eyes. “You like doing that to me, don’t you?” He brushed a knuckle along my cheek and I nodded. “Does that taste good?” he asked, teasing me.

I smiled wickedly and licked along the head of his cock again, tasting the salty bead of fluid leaking from his tip. His cock twitched and he moaned something unintelligible again.

“Lie back,” he ordered.

I lay down against the pillows, watching him, waiting for him to make his move, but he seemed entirely unrushed and content to just take in my naked form, a slight smile curling at his mouth. For a sex addict, he seemed much too in control, and the thought made me smile. He was mine. All his past troubles and all the worries we’d overcome made this moment that much sweeter, like it meant more because we’d worked to get here.

Knox lay down beside me, covering me with the warm weight of his body, and sank inside me slowly, letting me acclimate to him an inch at a time.

Chapter Ten

Knox

Holy shit, she felt amazing. It took several minutes to work myself completely inside her, but the patience was worth it. My eyes slipped closed the moment I was fully buried inside McKenna’s warm heat. She might have been prim and proper outside the bedroom, but my angel liked to get a little dirty between the sheets, further proof that she was the perfect girl for me. I whispered dirty things into her ear as I fucked her slowly—telling her how tight she was around me, how good she felt, and she let out tiny whimpers each time I did.

Everything about her was incredible, and I knew without a doubt that I was a very fucking lucky man. Her pussy was like crack and I kept up an easy tempo, enjoying the feelings flooding through me.

“I can feel you tightening around my cock. Do you want to come?” I asked, letting my lips brush past the shell of her ear.

“Yes,” she said and moaned. The hint of desperation in her voice told me that while I’d been waiting for her, she’d been holding herself back, waiting for me. And since I knew she’d been turned on and wet since our ride home, I wanted to take care of her.

I pressed my thumb against her clit, eliciting a soft cry from her, and began lightly rubbing as I continued the even rhythm of my strokes, pushing in and out of her. McKenna flew apart, convulsing and squirming in my arms, repeating my name over and over again until the last of her orgasm pulsed through her body and left her limp and sated in my arms.

Not yet done with her, I pulled her hips to mine, entering her deeply. Her back arched off the bed at the unexpected invasion. Her eyes had that glassy, faraway look, and I could tell she was undone. I wanted to flip her over, to sink into her from behind and watch her ass wiggle against my thrusts, but I knew I was too close. And McKenna was worn out.

“I’m almost there,” I murmured, kissing her neck.

Pumping into her again and I again, I felt my balls draw up close to my body as her tight muscles gripped me. A shuddering moan pushed past my lips as she milked my cock deep inside her body. “Kenna…” The broken groan rumbled deep in my chest and I collapsed onto the bed on top of her, gathering her in my arms and holding her tightly against my chest.

As our heartbeats pounded together, I knew I couldn’t put off the truth about my past much longer. It wasn’t fair to her. She’d given me everything—her heart, her devotion, her virginity, for fuck’s sake, and I couldn’t even tell her the truth. McKenna had given me a chance at true happiness, and the boys had a loving female in their lives for the first time in years. I was being selfish hiding this from her and it was starting to eat at me, to wear a hole in my newly mended heart. It wasn’t fucking healthy.

I held her securely, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as a million thoughts swirled through my brain. She’d healed me, made me a better man, yet none of that could erase my past. I held on to hope that since she’d forgiven me once before, she could find a way to do it again. If only there was a way to show her how sorry I was, she could understand my dark past was truly behind me.

Chapter Eleven

Knox

“Guys, come on, we’re going to be late.” I corralled my brothers toward the front door and they groggily obliged, slipping into shoes and coats.

“If this is lunch, why do we have to be up at the crack of dawn?” Jaxon yawned. His face looked a hell of a lot better since the beat down, just the hint of a shadow darkened his left cheekbone.

“Because,” I said. “There’s training beforehand and we need to have everything ready for one hundred fifty people by noon. Come on.”

I’d arranged for us to volunteer at a church today to serve lunch to a Mothers Against Drunk Drivers group that was having an all-day retreat. McKenna was meeting us there later. I knew it was fucked up that I hadn’t told her the truth yet about my own past with drunk driving. I guess this was my own twisted way of trying to make amends.

When we arrived at the church, we parked in the back and tramped down the stairs to the basement and into the large kitchen. McKenna was already inside, and a large smile spread across her face when she saw us.

“Hi!” She bounded across the room and flung herself into my arms. “This was such a good idea.” She kissed me warmly on the mouth. It was more than I deserved and a twinge of guilt flashed through me. Shit.

“Hi, angel,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She greeted each of the boys in a similar fashion, with hugs and kisses on their cheeks. She was so good to them, filling the void left behind when Mom died, that my chest tightened and I had to turn away.

“So, where do we start?” I surveyed the large kitchen.

McKenna had gotten there early and met with the church kitchen staff. We were making lasagna, salad, and brownies, and she gave each of us an apron as she explained the tasks.

Tucker and I teamed up on the brownies, Jaxon was going to make the salad, and McKenna and Luke were going to prepare the main dish. It would take us a couple of hours to prepare the huge batches of food, plus cleanup time afterward.

Putting Tucker on dessert probably wasn’t the wisest idea. He kept stealing the pieces of chocolate I was roughly chopping. I glanced over at Jaxon, who was chopping tomatoes into slimy little chunks, and almost chuckled at the disdain on his face. Public service was good for him. Maybe this would get him to open his eyes and see there was more to life than gambling and girls.

McKenna and Luke gathered their ingredients and were beginning to assemble pans of lasagna noodles and sauce.

“You sure you want me to have all that money?” Luke asked her, a questioning look in his eyes. He wasn’t any more used to handouts than I was, and that made me proud.

“Of course I’m sure. It would make me very happy to see you off at college. That’s the best use of the money I could think of.”

“You’re too good to us.” He playfully tossed a noodle in her direction.

McKenna caught it and smiled at him. “Yeah, well, I kind of have a thing for your brother…”

He laughed. “Trust me, I noticed.” His expression grew thoughtful for a few moments as he layered cheese over the bed of noodles. “It’s just really cool of you to forgive him.”

“Forgive him?” she questioned, peering up from her task to meet his eyes with an inquisitive expression.

My stomach turned sour and dropped like a stone.