Текст книги "When We Fall"
Автор книги: Kendall Ryan
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Chapter Fourteen
McKenna
A few hours later, I showed up on Knox’s doorstep with a duffel bag slung over my shoulder, wondering what I’d find on the other side of the door. Could he have given up on me already and moved on? It was too painful to think about. I had to believe, with blind faith, that this would all work. I was out of options. Knox and I hadn’t spoken in a couple of days, not since I told him I needed my space. But now that I’d told Brian he could move Amanda and the baby into my old room, I was out of choices. This had to work.
Just like he did the first time I came to this house, Tucker answered the door. “Kenna!” he shouted and flung himself into my arms. It immediately made me feel guilty about staying away for so long.
“Hey, buddy.” I ruffled his hair and glanced around. Jaxon and Luke were in the living room, staring at a game of basketball on TV. Knox was nowhere to be seen, and dread churned deep inside me. “Where’s Knox?” I asked, my voice coming out shakier than I intended it to.
Throwing an arm around my waist, Tucker led me inside. “He’s working right now, but can you stay over and hang out with me?” Big brown eyes blinked up at mine. He was impossible to say no to. Just like his big brother.
“Of course I’ll stay.” I set my bag down in the living room and joined the boys on the couch.
Luke and Jaxon both nodded their hellos, not bothering to break eye contact with the TV until halftime. But I supposed if I was going to be living here, all of this was going to be my life. Boys, boys, and more boys. I nearly giggled at the thought.
“Do you know when Knox gets off work?” I asked.
Luke’s dark, expressive eyes met mine and I knew he was remembering the volunteer event where he’d practically forced Knox’s hand at telling me the truth. Luke had taken a risk, and I appreciated his honesty. His heart was in the right place. I hoped my small smile conveyed my thanks.
“He’s closing up at the hardware store, it should be about another hour.”
I caught up with the boys. Jaxon had cut out gambling, Luke was waiting to hear about the college applications he’d submitted, and Tucker was just Tucker. Loud, animated, and excitable like an eight-year-old boy should be. Thankfully, with Tucker to entertain me, the minutes passed by quickly.
“Have you guys had dinner yet?”
“Nope,” they chimed in unison.
Unable to sit and wait any longer, I ventured into the kitchen to see what I could make for dinner. The cabinets and fridge were pretty much bare, but I pieced together bread and cheese for grilled cheese sandwiches and a couple of cans of soup. I hope Knox wasn’t expecting a gourmet chef with me moving in. But I somehow knew he wouldn’t be. The guys had been taking care of themselves for many years already. They wouldn’t expect me to fill the role of maid or cook; I could just be me. The thought made me smile. The soup bubbled away on the stove and I added the last of the sandwiches to a big platter, carrying the whole thing out to the dining table.
“Boys, dinner!” I called.
I realized the extra commotion I heard from the living room meant Knox had arrived home. My stomach somersaulted and suddenly food was the last thing on my mind.
Knox entered the kitchen and his weary expression found mine. “McKenna?”
“Hi.”
“What are you…”
“I made dinner.”
His gaze ventured to the table. “I see that.”
“Boys, come and eat up while it’s still hot. I’m just going to talk to Knox,” I instructed them. It was all the encouragement they needed. They descended on the food like a pack of hungry wolves.
“Guys, save some for McKenna,” Knox said before shooting me an apologetic look.
We headed into the kitchen while the guys busied themselves with the food I’d made in the dining room.
“Sorry about them. You’d think they’ve never seen food before,” he joked.
I smiled. “It’s okay.”
“What’s going on, angel? I take you didn’t come here just to make dinner.”
“No. I didn’t. I’m here because you were right. Your past was hard for me to accept, but it’s also the thing that led you straight to me, and I can’t help but think it was fate or maybe some divine intervention.”
His forehead creased and he took a step closer, obviously trying to understand what I was telling him.
I took a deep breath and continued. “The exact thing I was running from led me to Chicago and pushed you straight into my path. I’m not going to lie and say this isn’t hard for me. It’s the hardest test I’ve ever had to overcome. Harder than coping with life without my parents. Harder than leaving my hometown behind. But loving you isn’t a choice. And it’s worth it, Knox. You’re everything to me. You, your brothers, this home and family you’re offering me. I want it. I want all of it. I won’t allow my past to rob me of any more joy. You messed up, but you’ve changed. You’re not the same man who got behind that wheel. And I understand the life circumstances that drove you down that path. I know there will be bumps and bruises as we figure this out together. But I’m not going anywhere. You have me. You’ve had my heart right from the beginning.”
Without a word, Knox gathered me in his arms, tugging me to his chest and lifting my feet from the floor. I buried my nose in the crook between his neck and his shoulder and inhaled the scent I’d missed so much. “God, it feels good to hold you, to have you back,” he said.
“You have me. And I’m planning on staying if you still want me here.”
He pulled back to meet my eyes, still holding me so my feet didn’t reach the floor. “For good?”
I nodded, a big dopey grin overtaking my mouth.
“I don’t know how I could possibly deserve you, but I love you, McKenna.”
“I love you,” I returned, “and your entire rowdy family.” We could hear the boys arguing over how to divide up the food in the other room.
He grinned down at me and kissed my forehead. “Should we go tell the boys?”
I nodded.
Back inside the dining room, I saw that the entire plate of sandwiches was gone except for stray pieces of crust, and only about an inch of soup remained in the pot. I guess I’d underestimated the appetites of three growing boys. I’d have to remember that next time I made them dinner.
“Guys, I have some news.” Knox’s hand found mine and he linked our fingers together, tugging me closer. “I asked McKenna to live with us and she said yes.”
Luke’s face immediately broke into a wide grin and all three of them looked surprised, but happy. I wondered if they’d ask deeper questions, like what this meant for the relationship between Knox and me, or logistical ones, like how we would divvy up bathroom time and share household chores. But the room remained completely silent and still.
Until Tucker passed gas.
Loudly.
Okay, so apparently they’re comfortable around me.
Everyone broke into fits of laughter, me included.
“I think you should consider yourself christened. Welcome to the family,” Jaxon said.
“Rule numero uno, no farting at the dinner table, dude.” Luke frowned at Tucker, who in turn stuck out his tongue.
“On that note, should we go upstairs?” Knox asked.
I nodded, not wanting to stick around and experience the smell that had already caused Jaxon and Luke to run for cover while Tucker laughed hysterically.
“I will feed you, but first I just need to be alone with you,” Knox whispered near my ear as we started up the stairs.
I wondered what he had in mind for this alone time.
“What do you want for dinner?” he asked, once we were all alone in his bedroom. Our bedroom. I wondered if cock would be the wrong answer. My recovering sex-addict boyfriend was turning me into a raging sex addict. And I liked it.
“I’m not really hungry for food just yet.” I met his deep brown gaze and bit my lower lip. I had no idea if my sexy stare was appealing, but the low growl that rumbled in his chest and the way he stalked toward me caused my stomach to coil into a tight knot. I wanted him. I wanted everything—our future—all the pleasure he could give me, and I couldn’t wait another second.
Knox
I had a new addiction: loving McKenna. The fact that she was here at all, let alone telling me that she still wanted to be with me was amazing, and that she was moving in…well, she continually blew my mind with her willingness to forgive. She inspired me in so many ways. There would be no going back to that lost and broken man I was before her. I believed what she said was true. We were brought into each other’s lives at just the right moment.
McKenna secured her hands around the back of my neck, her fingers curling into my hair. I lowered my mouth to kiss her sweet lips, but held part of myself back. Sex wasn’t the right way to show her how I felt about her, but in that moment, I didn’t think she cared. She rubbed herself wantonly against my groin, causing my dick to harden, which wasn’t abnormal around her. My cock had been in a semierect state since the day I met her. She’d become my everything. There was no turning back now.
I’d lived without the gentle, loving touch of a woman for so long, though, that I wasn’t about to stop McKenna. Her fingers continued toying with my hair while our mouths moved together.
I’d loved my mother so much. I wasn’t afraid to admit it. I was a momma’s boy growing up. Losing her took a piece of me that I wouldn’t get back, a piece that no woman could ever replace, no matter how hard I’d tried. And trust me, I’d tried. I fell into bed with girl after girl, looking for some kind of connection. But since my hardened heart believed that love only ended in pain, I never got my happy ending. It was something I thought I’d live without. Until I met McKenna. I had to love and forgive myself before I could open myself up to another. Opening my zipper wasn’t enough. I knew McKenna would give me some line about how it was normal, how sex addicts substituted sexual experiences for emotional intimacy, but it all finally clicked.
“Knox…” She breathed out my name, then inhaled against my neck. A jolt of desire shot straight to my groin, hardening me the rest of the way.
“Yeah, angel?”
Her hands found the tense bulge below my belt and she gave him a gentle squeeze. “Don’t make me beg.”
Christ, how could I say no to that? Big blue eyes met mine, urging me on, making me want to give her whatever she asked for.
“I need to say a few things first.” I fought to control my pounding heartbeat that I could feel pulsing in my cock. Damn.
McKenna waited, blinking up at me silently. God, she was beautiful. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to her natural beauty—to her blue eyes that showed her every thought and emotion, to the soft curves that swayed when she walked, to her too-big heart that caused her to take care of everything and everyone in her path.
Taking her left hand, I guided her to my bed, lowering us both onto the edge. I stroked her naked ring finger, dreaming about the day I’d make her mine. I wanted to be the one to tuck her into bed each night, the first one to see her sleepy smile in the morning, the only man to listen to the gentle sounds of her breathing as she fell into a deep sleep. I wanted to be the only man to make love to her. And I told her all that and more, the words rushing out from me as I watched her eyes grow teary.
“Shhh, don’t cry. Just tell me you want all that, too.”
She nodded, her misty blue eyes looking happy despite the tears. Using my thumbs, I brushed the dampness from her cheeks.
“Will you marry me, angel?”
McKenna’s voice broke in a tiny whisper and she flung her arms around my neck, repeating the word yes again and again. Never had one little word sounded so good.
I felt like pumping my fist in the air, but settled for squeezing her tight in my arms and peppering her neck with kisses while she continued to sob quietly. Actually, I wasn’t sure if it was crying or laughing since her mouth was curled up in a pretty smile.
“Say something, baby. Is this too fast for you?”
She shook her head. “It’s perfect, Knox. I want to be with you always.” A crease pinched her brow.
“What is it?”
“I just…I don’t want a big wedding. With my parents gone…”
I understood completely. Big events and holidays were hard without a family around you to celebrate with. But I knew we would make new traditions as the years passed. “Whatever you want.”
“Maybe just the courthouse—with the boys there, too.”
“Whatever you want,” I promised again. “But you will wear a pretty dress for me, and we will celebrate.”
She nodded, her smile blossoming wider.
Knowing I couldn’t stave off my raw need for her any longer, I pressed her back against the mattress, bringing my mouth to hers in a searing kiss.
Removing her clothing piece by piece, I trailed my mouth down her body, licking and biting her succulent flesh. My teeth grazed her rib cage, earning me a tiny shriek as I moved lower, leaving damp, sucking kisses along her belly. McKenna squirmed, her hips undulating, and her chest rising and falling rapidly. Pushing her panties to the side, I swept my finger along her silken center, earning me a small whimper of pleasure. My own groan of satisfaction followed. I loved making her feel good. She didn’t even have to touch me. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. If I didn’t come soon I’d probably have a massive case of blue balls later.
“You want me to kiss this sweet pussy?” I murmured, my lips just millimeters from her smooth core.
A helpless groan and her fist in my hair were apparently the only responses I was getting. I pressed an innocent kiss against her pussy lips, before spreading her apart so I could run my tongue along the length of her. Her fist tightened in my hair, holding me right where she wanted me. With my mouth curling into a smile, my tongue found her clit and I licked her over and over, timing my tempo to the sounds of her moans. It was easy to read just what she liked.
When she was close, I pushed my index finger inside her, pressing against the spot deep inside on her front wall, and I felt her body contract as she started to come. Adding my middle finger, I continued fucking her with my hand while my mouth latched onto a nipple. “You like when I kiss your sexy tits, huh, baby?” She rode my fingers, pumping her hips as her eyes locked onto mine.
The force of McKenna’s orgasm caused her to clench around my fingers and cry out in bliss. Fuck, I needed to think about soundproofing my bedroom. I loved how hard I could make her come, though. Watching her cheeks and neck color with blush as the blood rushed to the surface of her skin was a huge turn-on. I loved the effect I had on her.
Stripping myself of my clothes in three seconds flat, I gripped my eager cock, stroking it slowly and moved alongside her. “I need to be inside you so bad.”
“Yes…” she said and groaned.
Her pussy was still hypersensitive from her orgasm, and not to mention incredibly tight as I tried to penetrate her. “Relax for me, baby,” I reminded her. McKenna drew a deep breath and worked at relaxing her muscles, allowing me to slip inside several more inches. She felt like a hot molten fist squeezing me. It was a testament to my control that I didn’t immediately come.
Tensing my muscles and clenching my ass, I pumped into her hard and fast. The next time I would go slow, but I needed to spill myself inside her. I couldn’t explain it, not even to myself. But I needed to give in to this raw, primal connection we had to show myself it was more than sex. I loved her and I knew she felt it, regardless of whether the sex was sweet and slow or hard and fast.
I met her eyes and kissed her again, unwilling to break our connection in any way. With her blue eyes on mine, her tongue lightly stroking my bottom lip, and my cock buried deep inside her, I found the meaning and connection I’d been looking for all along. Sex with the woman I loved was better than I ever could have imagined.
Forcing myself to slow, if only to draw out her pleasure and mine, I felt her begin to contract around me again. I dragged my cock in and out slowly, grinding my groin against hers to put pressure directly on her clit. Her tight little pussy clamped down hard around me as she climaxed. Fuck it. I was going to come.
My own release hit me like a punch to the gut and I cried out her name, burying my face against her neck as I spilled myself inside her.
McKenna’s phone chimed from the bedside table and she reached for it, checking her text messages. The sheet dropped away from her chest, and though we’d already gone twice, my body didn’t fail to notice her luscious curves.
“Who is it?” I asked, trailing a hand along the curve of her spine.
“Brian.” She grinned.
“I just gave you three orgasms and you’re smiling about a text from Brian?”
She frowned and slugged me on the shoulder. “Hush. You and I both know there’s not a thing wrong with your ego.”
She had me there. I knew how to make my girl insane with desire.
“Amanda said yes,” she continued. “She’s moving in with him.”
“Wow. Those two? Really?”
She nodded. “They hit it off. And I guess when you know, you know.”
“Believe me, I know.” I smirked and gave her butt a playful swat. We’d had a bumpy ride, but I knew that would only make us appreciate the good times more. And something told me there were lots of good times in store for us.
McKenna was my addiction.
But somehow I knew that was an addiction she’d approve of. All-consuming need coursed through me and I hauled her over top of me.
“Again?” she asked, her voice rising in surprise to see I was already hard for her again.
“Never question my cock’s stamina when it comes to you, angel.” I nudged at her wet opening and a soft, whispery whine was her only response. “Not too sore, are you?”
“Not yet.”
I sank inside her slowly, knowing she was all I’d ever need.
Epilogue
McKenna
Two years later
“See you tonight, buddy.” I kissed Tucker on the cheek and then watched him board the big yellow school bus waiting at the curb. I stood there for a moment too long, watching him pull away and enjoying the feel of the sun sinking into my pores.
It had been a long winter, made longer by the fact that Jaxon had been in jail for dealing drugs for the past several months. He’d been released last week and had spent the time at home with us, rediscovering himself and preparing for a new life—one away from drugs and gambling and girls. He would spend the summer at a rehabilitation ranch, working and learning to live as a better man.
Knox had been quiet and withdrawn when Jaxon had left. It had taken me some time to get through to him, to get him to see that we were all responsible for our own choices, and that Jaxon was going to make things right. I also had to remind him that we had a lot to be thankful for, the least of which were Luke’s achievements at college. He was doing phenomenally well. That seemed to soothe Knox. But I knew it wasn’t easy for him being the head of this household. He loved without regard, worried from time to time, and was fiercely protective. It was just one more thing to love about him.
I headed back inside, giddy at the thought that Knox and I were both off work today while Tucker was at school. One thing I never counted on since moving in two years ago was the lack of true alone time. I could count on one hand the number of times when Knox and I had the house all to ourselves.
I found him in the kitchen, sipping orange juice straight from the carton. I shook my head and made a tsking sound. Try as I might, there were just some habits I’d never break these boys of.
“Hey, Mama,” Knox said, stuffing the carton back into the fridge as if I hadn’t just witnessed his violation of it.
I giggled at the nickname. Tucker had started calling me Mama Kenna shortly after I moved in and Knox, who thought it was adorable, often used the nickname too, since he knew it always brought a smile to my lips.
“Did you get that boy off to school?” He leaned back against the counter, letting me take in my fill of his naked torso.
Momentarily distracted by the ridiculous six-pack staring back at me, it took me a moment to answer. “Uh-huh,” I managed.
Knox grinned at my reaction. “Over two years later and I still get her weak in the knees.”
“Do not!” I couldn’t let him know how easily he got me worked up. I didn’t want that knowledge going to his head. He already knew he was a complete sex god with command over my body, heart, and soul. Jeez, a girl needed to keep a few secrets.
He pushed off the counter and stalked closer. “What do you want to do today?” His gaze wandered down my body while his fingertips grazed my hip bone. A zing of electricity darted through my center.
Damn it. There was no denying I wanted him. I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I don’t know. I was thinking of going to the mall, getting some summer shopping done for me and Tucker. He won’t fit into any of his shorts or T-shirts from last year…”
Knox’s gaze locked on mine and his fingers tightened as they curled around my hip. “You have exactly three seconds flat to get this fine little ass up those stairs and undressed,” he growled. “One…”
I swallowed heavily and met his intense gaze, loving this dangerous game I was playing with him.
“Two…”
I darted around him, but not before I felt the sting of his palm connect with my butt, and jogged for the stairs.
Knox
McKenna was breathless and fighting to push her jeans down her thighs when I entered our room. I struggled to keep the smile off my face as I watched her. My angel liked being told what to do in the bedroom; she loved it when I took charge. Which was good because I loved it, too.
Once she was stripped down to just a pair of blue cotton panties, McKenna stood in front of me. Her jog up the stairs had winded her, and her tits were rising and falling deliciously with each breath she drew. I approached and carefully circled one sensitive nipple with the pad of my index finger, rubbing the soft pink center until it pebbled under my touch.
“Do you want my mouth here?” I continued rubbing and circling her nipples. Her breath hitched in her throat and she murmured some unintelligible sound. I knew that kissing and sucking on her tits got her nice and wet for me, and I couldn’t help teasing her.
Lowering my mouth to her chest, I pressed a tiny kiss to the tip of each breast, her skin erupting in chill bumps in the wake of my breath. “Why are these still on?” Working my fingers into the side of her panties, my fingers found her warm center. Slick and wet, just like I predicted.
I pushed the fabric down her legs until the panties pooled at her ankles and she stepped out of them. Running my fingers along her bare folds, I found her clit and lightly rubbed. McKenna’s knees trembled and she reached a steadying hand toward me, grasping my bicep as I continued my assault.
Then I bent to her ear and whispered, “Get on your knees, angel.”
I took her hand and helped her lower herself to her knees, then unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, tugging them down just enough to free my cock. It greeted McKenna, begging for her mouth.
Taking the base of me in one hand, she guided me to her mouth. Big blue eyes met mine as she sucked against the head of my cock. Holy fuck. Watching her suck my dick was almost as good as the sensation itself. She might not have had experience before, but her passion for me and for this came through loud and clear. She devoured me, pushing as much of my length as she could fit into her mouth, salivating around me and pumping her fist up and down while her other hand cupped my balls. I was hers. She was the only girl who could make me come in about three minutes flat just by sucking me.
I tipped her chin up to mine and her eyes latched on again. “What do you think you’re doing?” I growled, my voice rough with desire.
Considering her mouth was currently full of my cock, she didn’t answer, but her eyes implored mine.
“You’re a greedy little thing this morning. Why would you try to make me come in your mouth when you know I want to be inside you when I go off?”
She swallowed and the sensation cut straight to my balls where I had to fight off a moan.
“Get on the bed.”
McKenna rose and scrambled up to the bed, lying down on her back and widening her thighs so I could see her pretty pink folds.
Shit, that was a beautiful sight. I drew a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down, or this was going to be over in a damn hurry. Needing a moment to recover, I took my time licking and kissing a trail along her body, spending extra time nibbling the creamy flesh at her inner thighs until she was writhing and groaning beneath me. I flicked my tongue against her clit, bringing her right to the edge of her orgasm before placing a chaste kiss against her pussy and crawling up her body.
When she let out a groan of frustration, I said, “Same thing you did to me, angel. Fair’s fair.” The truth was, there was no way she was coming without me inside her. I needed to feel her tight walls clench around me when she came. I fucking craved it.
As I positioned myself against her and eased inside slowly, my eyes slipped closed and I went to my happy place. The place where I felt content and loved and accepted. McKenna wrapped her legs around my back, tilting her pelvis to meet mine, allowing me to thrust deeper. She could now handle all of me, which sent my cock to his happy place, too.
Dragging my length in and out of her, I cradled her face in my hands and kissed her full mouth, telling her I loved her over and over again.
Knowing that this beautiful girl loved me for the man I was, it made our relationship and our intimate connection that much stronger. We hadn’t gotten around to making it official yet, but it was just a matter of time. Maybe this summer on the beach.
“Knox, I’m close…” she murmured, tightening her vice-like grip on my dick.
Fuck.
McKenna let out a short cry and her fingernails bit into my ass as she pressed me closer. I drew out her orgasm, kissing her mouth, her neck, and her breasts as she clung to me, her pussy throbbing deep inside.
I shuddered once and started to come, hot jets of semen pumping out of me and into McKenna as our bodies fought to get even closer together.
Afterward, we laid tangled together in the sheets, our skin dewy from exertion and our hearts still beating too fast. We made plans for the rest of our day together—going out to lunch, and then down to the lake to walk along the beach. I smiled at the secret knowledge that sex one more time before Tucker got home from school would probably be on the agenda, too.
I tugged her closer, drawing her to my chest, thankful that I had at least a million more days like this to look forward to. Before McKenna, I thought I was incapable of love—and maybe I was. But she’d changed something fundamental inside me just by her presence in my life. Her sweet and giving nature, her big heart that had plenty of room for not only me, but also my brothers, and her ability to forgive were all things I loved about her. And I made sure to tell her every day. Now that I’d found her, I would do everything in my control to show her she was the love of my life.
Curling into my side, McKenna released a happy little sigh. Knowing that she felt the exact same way was something indescribable. I felt a deeper connection to her than any other person in the world. She was my everything.
