Текст книги "Redemption Road"

Автор книги: Katie Ashley

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

“Sorry, Joe. I wasn’t talking to you.”

“You okay, Prez? You look a little pale. Need me to make you a hangover drink?”

I shook my head. “No. I’m good. Thanks.” When I started to the back door, I stopped. “Hey, Joe?”

“Yeah, Prez?”

“Take five on the cleanup and go stand outside my room. Annabel’s sleeping in there. If she wakes up or screams or something, call me on my cell.”

“You got it.”

I wouldn’t be gone long. I had promised Annabel to come back to her, and I would never let her down. Not intentionally at least. When I reached my house, I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and then sat down on the couch. There was a phone call I dreaded to make, but it had to be done. I knew I would hate myself in the morning, but in the long run, it was what was best for all of us.

FIFTEEN

ANNABEL

When I woke up in the morning and surveyed my strange surroundings, I bolted straight up in bed and screamed. The door flew open and a bleary-looking prospect, whom I had met last night, tumbled in. At the sight of him, I drew the covers tighter around me.

The guy held up his hands. “I ain’t here to hurt you or anything. Prez put me on post in case you woke up.”

“Where is Rev?”

“He’s having breakfast.”

I nodded. “Thanks for letting me know.” When I sat up straighter in bed, I winced at the pain that shot through my head.

“Regretting the Jack from last night, huh?” he asked with a smile.

It was then that I remembered he had been the bartender. “Jumping Joe?” I questioned.

He laughed. “Jolting Joe. Got my soon-to-be road name from Joe DiMaggio.”

“You were a baseball player, huh?”

His jovial expression turned sheepish. “Uh, it’s more for the way I can swing a bat and knock someone out.”

I didn’t know if I should be amused or horrified. “Well, thanks for letting me know where Rev is.”

“No problem.”

Once Joe closed the door, I threw back the covers. Gazing down at myself, I realized I didn’t have any reason to be modest since I was still in my clothes from last night. When I rose from the bed, my entire body ached. It had been so long since I’d had anything alcoholic to drink. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what had possessed me to have so much last night.

Then it hit me. Hearing Deacon and Alexandra’s announcement about their baby boy had sent me spinning. Like an idiot, I thought alcohol would fix things—like some sort of liquid bandage for my broken soul. But in the sober light of day, I still had to face the fact that it would take nothing short of a miracle for me to become a mother.

Rubbing my shirt above my bruised heart, I gazed around the room. Memories from Rev bringing me in last night came flooding back to me. We had danced. And then I had kissed him. Just when I wanted to feel extreme remorse for what I had done, I remembered he had kissed me back. He was a good kisser, too, from what I remembered.

But then I couldn’t ignore the fact that he had pushed me away before things had gone too far. Of course, it appeared to be under the pretense of him having to take care of business. I wondered if he had ever returned, but then I peered down at the bed and saw the indentation of his body.

I wondered what was going through his mind this morning. He was noble to a fault, so I imagined he would be feeling the remorse that I probably should be. Although only a month had passed since the Raiders had freed me from my captivity, I was ready to move on. My therapist encouraged me to try to move forward in all aspects of my life, from school to my ability to trust men. During our sessions, the mantra that not all men were evil and were going to hurt me was something we frequently repeated. It was hard to overcome my knee-jerk reaction to feeling threatened in a strange man’s presence. While we had yet to work through how a future love life might work for me, I couldn’t help being confused as to why my love life seemed to still need blocking with yellow caution tape like the police did at crime scenes.

At the end of the day, Mendoza would haunt me until I was able to give myself emotionally and physically to another man. I had to wonder if the longer I waited, the more I was allowing emotional scar tissue to build up, making it harder and harder to be intimate with someone. Many victims of trafficking and rape were in relationships or married, so it wasn’t like they put on a habit and went to their local nunnery. They had to work through the emotional landmines to reconnect physically with their partners.

I felt I had spent the last month getting to know Rev on such a deep level that I was ready to risk a relationship that went further than friendship. I just didn’t know how to convince him that his steadfast image of me as a cracked china doll wasn’t who I was.

After running a brush through my hair and improvising without a toothbrush, I decided to go in search of Rev and some strong coffee. When I got to the end of the long hallway, I faltered at the sight of all the strangers milling around the front room. Closing my eyes, I inwardly chanted, You can do this. These people are Rev’s family. They won’t hurt you.

My eyes flew open at the sound of a familiar voice. “Morning, Uptown Girl,” Bishop said with a wave. His warm grin instantly put me at ease.

“Morning, Bishop.”

“You hungry?” he asked as he came to meet me.

“A little. More than anything, I’d love some coffee.”

“Come on. I’ll take you to Rev.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Bishop.”

Whenever I met the eye of one of the Raiders or their old ladies, which was still a hard term for me to get used to, I received a nod of the head or a friendly smile. I didn’t know if they were being kind because of what I had gone through or because I was with Rev, so to speak.

When Rev caught sight of me, a range of emotions flashed across his face. After settling on the one that looked like he was glad to see me, he came forward and gave me a hug. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” I replied as I squeezed him tight. His usual manly smell was mixed with coffee and bacon, which made me feel both comfort and longing.

When I pulled away, he appeared apologetic. “Sorry I left you this morning, but you were sleeping so peacefully I hated to wake you up.”

“It’s okay.” With a sheepish grin, I added, “I definitely needed to sleep off the alcohol.”

He laughed before turning to pour me a cup of steaming coffee. “Have some of this while I fix you a plate.”

Leaning back against the counter, I blew tiny rivulets in the black liquid to cool it off. At the same time, I kept an eye on Rev as he went about getting my food. I thought that when he was around a large group of his brothers, he might shy away from openly taking care of me, like somehow it would be seen as him being pussy-whipped. But the one thing I most loved about Rev was how he never put people’s opinions of him above being his kind, caring self. It was truly endearing.

When he came back with a plate heaped with bacon, eggs, and hash browns, my eyes widened. “You can’t be serious.”

“You need some good, greasy food after all that alcohol.”

Glancing down at the plate, I said, “But I couldn’t eat all of this even if I didn’t have a weak stomach from drinking.”

Rev winked. “Just eat what you can.”

“Okay.”

He placed a hand on my back and guided me out into the main room. We sat down at a table with Deacon, Alexandra, and Bishop. “What did you think of last night?” Alexandra asked.

“It was interesting.”

Bishop snorted. “Interesting how?”

I chewed thoughtfully on a piece of bacon as I tried to put into words what I had experienced.

Misjudging my silence, Deacon said, “It’s okay if you didn’t like it, Annabel. This life ain’t for everyone.”

Shaking my head, I replied, “No, no, it isn’t like that. I enjoyed watching the patching ceremony and seeing the way everyone acted like family.” I looked pointedly at Deacon. “It showed me how someone would want to be a part of this life.”

My response seemed to please the Malloy brothers. Deacon even gave Rev a knowing look, which Rev responded to by ducking his head.

After finishing what I could of my meal, I noticed an old upright piano across from us. I stood up and went over to it. “Does anyone ever play this?” My fingers were already tinkling lightly over the keys.

“Not since Jim Beam died,” Rev replied as he came to my side.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

Rev laughed. “Jim Beam was the oldest member of the club. He literally lived and died with a bottle of Jim Beam in his hand. He could even ride one-handed and drink.”

“I guess that’s how he got his road name, huh?”

“Yes. It is.” He nudged me closer to the bench. “Why don’t you play something?”

I widened my eyes as I shook my head wildly. “Oh no, I’m out of practice.”

“I’m sure you’re just being modest.”

“Ah, hell, Rev, don’t encourage her,” Bishop said behind us. When I turned around, he winked. “She’ll just end up torturing us with some of that fruity classical shit.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I countered, “Is that all you think I can play?”

“Like you know any hard rock or blues. That’s what Jim Beam always played. You’d swear sometimes you were listening to Jerry Lee Lewis.”

“Impressive. Did he also play the piano while holding a whiskey bottle?”

Bishop grinned. “Hell yeah.”

“Well, I’m afraid ol’ Jim Beam beats me on that one. But . . .” I pushed the piano bench aside and sat down. “Maybe I can find something that would impress even Bishop’s musical taste.”

“Bring it on,” Bishop challenged.

I hadn’t lied when I told Rev I was out of practice. It had been months since I had touched a piano. In fact, it was even before my captivity with Mendoza. But I was never one to shy away from a challenge.

My hands momentarily hovered over the keys as I closed my eyes and mentally went over the opening of the song. Within seconds, it all came flooding back to me. My fingers hit the ivories and I began pounding out the opening of “Great Balls of Fire.” It was actually a song I had wanted to learn back in the day, especially since my parents hated me to do anything that wasn’t classical or tasteful. Regardless of the fact that he was a musical genius, it would be hard to argue that Jerry Lee himself was very tasteful.

As soon as the guys recognized what I was playing, a roar went up among them. I was treated to catcalls and whistles, which fueled me to play even harder. A pleasant warmth ran through me as I was mentally able to slide another piece into the puzzle that made up my former self.

I finished the song in a flourish. Strong applause rang through my ears, sending a flush to my cheeks of both embarrassment and pride.

When I dared to look over my shoulder at Bishop, I found him grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Damn, Uptown Girl. I’m sure as hell glad I didn’t put money on that. You would have owned my ass.”

I laughed at his summation. “Once again, I think I have to do a song just for you.”

Sweeping a hand to his chest, Bishop replied, “I’m touched.”

Although I would have loved to play “Uptown Girl” for him, I didn’t know it, so I had to settle for another Billy Joel classic, “Piano Man.” When he recognized the tune, Bishop clapped his hands in appreciation. “I need to get my lighter!” he shouted over the music.

As I laughed, I couldn’t help feeling more alive than I had in a long, long time. It was something about my converging worlds. If I was honest with myself, I probably felt more alive among Rev and his brothers than I ever had back in my old world.

“Annabel.”

At the sound of that voice, my fingers froze on the keys. No. This couldn’t be happening. Before panic could set in, I whirled around on the bench. Seeing him caused my chest to clench in agony.

“F-Father?”

He forced a smile to his face—one that didn’t reach his eyes. “You look well,” he said, as if he was surprised to find me in one piece or not covered in tattoos and piercings.

“I am well. Thank you.” I fought the urge to add, I’ve told you as much on the phone. But I didn’t.

His hands fidgeted with his gold cuff links. “Your mother is outside in the car. She wanted to wait to make sure you were all right before she came in.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at that statement. Of course she had refused to come inside. She probably thought she would get some disease simply from being around some of the Raiders.

It was then I knew I had to ask the question that was weighing heavily on my mind. “How did you find out where I was?”

My father didn’t answer. Instead, he glanced behind me at Rev. I pinched my eyes shut as the sudden horrible realization crashed down on me. It couldn’t be true. Rev wouldn’t do that. He respected my feelings on the subject of my parents. More than anything, he knew how much that would hurt me, how it would ruin every perfect thing between us.

Slowly, I turned around to face him. His ashen expression told me everything before he said, “I did. I called him.”

As his betrayal washed over me, I literally staggered back, my legs bumping into the piano bench. When Rev reached out to steady me, I slapped his hands away. “Don’t you dare touch me!” I hissed.

“Annabel, please.”

My mind spun with questions. What had Rev been thinking, calling my parents? How could he possibly not know how much I didn’t want to return to Virginia and my parents? After our time together, was it possible I had completely misjudged who he was? After taking several deep breaths and letting the initial shakes run through me, I regained my composure. There was no way in hell I would break down in front of all these people, nor would I go off on Rev in front of his brothers. Although I felt he had disrespected me in the worst way, I wouldn’t do the same to him.

Instead, I walked on trembling legs over to my father. “I’ll go get my things and meet you at the car.”

Relief flooded his face. I’m sure in his mind he had prepared himself for some kind of showdown in which he would have to resort to taking me kicking and screaming back to Virginia. But after what Rev had done, there was nothing left for me here, and certainly no reason to stay.

As I started for the back door, Alexandra came to my side. “Would you like some help?” she asked softly.

“No. I can get it myself.” When I looked over at her, I saw tears in her eyes.

“I don’t mind.”

I shook my head and reached over and hugged her. “Take care of yourself and the little man.”

She sniffled. “I will.” She pulled back to stare intently at me. “I don’t care what Rev did or how you feel about him. You do not have to go back with them. You would always have a home here.”

Her words touched me deeply because I knew they were sincere. Regardless of what Deacon or Rev might say, she would insist on having me stay. It was the truest example of a female friendship I had ever experienced. “I wish I could. But I can’t.”

After gently placing a hand on her belly, I kissed Alexandra’s cheek and walked out the door. The tremors that ricocheted through my body made it difficult to walk. I stumbled several times. I hadn’t made it halfway down the street before Rev chased me down. “Would you just stop for one minute to let me explain?”

“There’s nothing to say. You went behind my back when you explicitly knew I didn’t want my parents to know my location. How the hell can that possibly have a reasonable explanation?” I didn’t wait for his reply. Instead, I stomped up the front stairs and then growled in frustration when I had to wait on Rev to bring the key.

“I didn’t call them to come and get you. I just thought they had a right to know where you were. I thought they might come down for a visit or something. I didn’t think it was good for you to be away from them. It never crossed my mind that they were going to come down here right after I talked to them last night.”

I froze. “What did you say?”

He jerked a hand through his hair. “I said I called them last night.”

I momentarily fought to breathe. I didn’t know how things could get worse, but I was learning otherwise. “Last night after we kissed?”

Rev stared down at the rug. “I guess.”

Streaks of red-hot anger blurred my vision. “You fucking coward! You got so freaked out by kissing me that instead of acknowledging your potential feelings for me, you decided to get rid of me.”

Gone was the hard-core biker and my tough-as-nails rescuer. In his place was a broken man. When he still didn’t look up, I placed my hands on his chest and shoved him with all my might. “Dammit, at least have the nerve to look me in the face!” I demanded.

When he finally looked up, his eyes were haunted. “I thought it was for the best.”

“No, you only thought of what was best for you. I mean, God forbid you actually admit that you have feelings for me.”

“That’s not true.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, please, Rev, like you could actually acknowledge the crazy, broken sex slave as your old lady. What would your brothers say?”

His expression darkened. “I don’t give a damn what they might have to say. That’s not what this is about.”

“Then please enlighten me. Because I find it extremely ironic that after being with you for a month, you just happen to call my parents on the night we kissed.”

“What I did last night was not fair to you with all you’ve been through.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re still recovering. I should’ve never made a move on you.”

I snatched up a pair of my shoes from the floor and spat, “In case you missed it, I was the one who made a move on you.”

Rev exhaled an agonized sigh. “Because you’re confused and mixed up. For Christ’s sake, Annabel, a month ago you were imprisoned and enslaved by a fucking maniac. You don’t get over that shit so quickly. You’ve been through too much to know what you really want.”

Anger and hurt flickered and flashed through me like lightning slicing across a troubled sky. Although I’d been raised to always temper my emotions, I couldn’t hold myself back. With all the strength I had within me, I threw one of the shoes at him.

Rev ducked just in time, and it narrowly missed his head. Closing the gap between us, I demanded, “How dare you tell me what I feel? I’m not crazy when it comes to how I feel about you!”

“I never said you were crazy,” Rev argued softly.

“You’re implying it, which is just as bad.”

“I didn’t want to do anything to hurt you.”

“Too. Fucking. Late,” I spat before I rushed past him and slammed the bedroom door. Hot tears streaked down my cheeks as I went to the closet and grabbed the small suitcase Rev had bought me on the way home from Texas. As I threw my clothes and toiletries inside, I expected him to come into the room and continue our argument.

But he didn’t.

It was like he had raised the white flag of defeat when it came to us. He wasn’t going to fight. He was going to do what he thought was the honorable thing and just let me go.

Once I finished packing, I threw open the bedroom door to find Rev standing in front of me. His mouth opened, but then he quickly closed it. When he reached for my suitcase, I jerked it away from him. “Please, Annabel. You’re still recuperating from surgery. You shouldn’t be carrying that.”

Angrily, I slammed it down at his feet. “Fine, then. Since you seem to still have concern for my physical state, you take it. I want to say good-bye to Poe.”

Without another word to him, I turned and fled to the back porch. At the sound of the back door opening, Poe was already standing up and waiting for me in his pen. I stepped off the porch and walked around to him. It was amazing how much he had grown since he had moved from the crate to an old dog run that had belonged to one of Rev’s MC brothers.

“Hey, sweet boy,” I said as I unlocked the latch on his pen. He came out tentatively like he always did, cautiously surveying his surroundings. Tears filled my eyes as I stroked his head. I could never regret my time here with Rev because it meant saving Poe’s life. He had given me a focus and shown me once again there was nothing else on earth I wanted more than to be a veterinarian.

I kissed the top of his nose. “Be a good boy. You’ll be leaving soon. You’ll be big and strong enough to go back to the woods. I know you’re going to do just fine.”

I think I was saying the words more for me than for Poe. In a way, I had just had my own release back into the wild. More than anything, I needed reassurance that everything was going to be all right.

At the sound of Rev approaching behind me, I asked, “You remember what to do for him when it’s time to release him?”

“Yes, I do,” he murmured.

“Good.”

“Annabel, don’t leave like this,” Rev pleaded, his voice thick with anguish.

“You ask me not to leave like this, yet you haven’t once told me to stay.” I glanced over my shoulder at him. “Considering all of that, how else would you presume I left? You’ve told me I don’t know what I feel, but more than anything, you’ve made me feel that my feelings for you are based on some sort of reverse Stockholm syndrome, like kidnapping victims experience for their captors.” I shook my head. “I just wish you could see what’s truly in my heart.”

With a resigned sigh, I eased Poe back into his pen. As much as I hated to leave him, I knew without a doubt that Rev would take good care of him, even after he was released into the wild. I stood up and breezed past Rev to the porch steps. After making one last sweep inside the house for anything of mine, I went out the front door onto the porch.

As I started down Rev’s front steps, I saw that my parents’ limousine had pulled around to the cul-de-sac. I started walking to the car, but a small voice behind me caused me to stop.

When I turned around, Willow was staring up at me with her big brown eyes. “Belle, are you leaving?”

Fighting back tears, I nodded. “I wish I could stay longer, but I really have to go back home now.”

Willow’s lips turned down in a pout. “But I’m going to miss you so much. Will you come to visit?”

Although I knew the answer to her question was no, it broke my heart to disappoint her. “Maybe one day.” I bent down to her level. “Will you help Uncle Rev with Poe? It won’t be much longer before he’s ready to be released.”

“Yes, I will. I promise.”

I pulled her into my arms. “Be a good girl for your mommy and daddy. I know you’re going to be a wonderful sister to your brother.”

“I will.”

I kissed the top of Willow’s head and then slowly pulled away. Beth stood behind us, a stricken look on her face. I don’t know if it was because of Willow or because of the weight of the emotions, but neither of us spoke. Instead, our eyes conveyed everything we needed to say. Beth wanted me to know that Rev was struggling with his feelings. But the tears in my eyes let her know he had made his intentions clear. He wasn’t fighting for me . . . for us. So there was nothing left but to go.

She put her arms around me and hugged me tight. I clung to her, realizing how close I had grown to her in the last month. She was the mother I wished I had—the kind which, if fairy tales were true, I would have wished for. But this was real life.

In fairy tales, this would be the moment when Rev swooped to my side and told me everything I wanted to hear. He would hoist me into his arms and carry me back into the house, and we would live happily ever after.

But this was real life. And I had already learned how much real life could hurt you.

When I pulled away from Beth, I let the sobs overtake me as I hurried to the waiting limousine. I slid inside without looking back for him. At the sight of my tear-streaked face and my chest heaving with sobs, my mother recoiled in her seat. “Annabel, honestly,” she chided. I knew she was at a loss to understand how I could be so bereft at leaving such people.

She would never understand that within the walls of Rev’s small house and among the salt-of-the-earth people who were his family, I had learned how to truly live for the first time.