Текст книги "Redemption Road"

Автор книги: Katie Ashley

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

FOURTEEN

REV

ONE MONTH LATER

I had thought initially that having Annabel living with me would mean that my life would drastically change. But once we learned the pattern of each other’s days and nights, everything fell into place. She rose before I had to leave for work and made coffee and cooked breakfast. She even brought me a home-cooked lunch at my job at the Raiders-owned pawnshop next to the clubhouse. She hadn’t been exaggerating when she’d said she knew how to cook. I had already gained five pounds since she had come to live with me. Thankfully, she had regained some of the weight she’d lost as well.

While I was at work, she sometimes went over to Mama Beth’s and helped her cook dinner. The two were growing very attached to each other. I could tell Mama Beth was everything in a mother that Annabel had never had yet had longed for. In turn, Mama Beth had always wanted daughters, especially those who wanted to help her with the things she loved, like cooking. While I loved that they got along so well, I knew it was only going to cause pain in the long run for both of them when Annabel left. But I kept my mouth shut.

Physically, she seemed to heal almost overnight. You could attribute it to her age and her resiliency to overcome what she had been through. Breakneck would come by often to check on her. As he had directed, she spent a lot of time off her feet and resting.

It was her emotional state that worried me. She still refused to let her parents know her location. She did call them once she got to my house, and once again she used a disposable phone. Although I didn’t totally agree with it, I didn’t press her about it. It did slightly alarm me when she started researching the veterinary program at the University of Georgia. She seemed hell-bent on never returning to Virginia, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

She grew more and more dependent on me. After I had spent several nights on the lumpy couch, she finally talked me into sleeping in my bed with her. It wasn’t uncharted territory, since we had spent the night in the same bed before. But at the same time, there was an illicit feeling about it. I felt like a teenager sneaking off to do something I shouldn’t, which was not something I had felt for a very long time. While I didn’t want to think about Annabel in any sexual way, it was hard not to when she came to bed in pajama shorts that revealed her legs or thin tops that showed off her cleavage. I knew better than to say anything to her about it, lest I’d look like some pervert who had been getting off on her.

There was also the fact that waking up with a beautiful woman wrapped around me did nothing to stop my morning wood. If Annabel ever noticed, she didn’t say anything. I also hoped she didn’t notice my longer-than-normal cold showers to eradicate said morning wood. Again, if she knew, she never said anything. I could have easily taken out my frustrations with one of the club whores. Even though I had come home with a woman, it hadn’t deterred some of them from their interest in me. Before, just a flash of a pair of tits would have had me hard as a rock and raring to fuck whatever was closest to me. But after Annabel, it didn’t have the same allure. It seemed my dick had allegiance to only one woman, and painfully, it was the one who was off-limits.

Of course, any inappropriate thoughts easily fled when she woke up, screaming and thrashing, from nightmares at least two to three times a week. Since I was no stranger to those types of wake-up calls, I would merely reach through the sheets to bring her body closer to mine. “It’s okay, Annabel. You’re okay,” was usually all I would have to say. She would spend a few minutes steadying her breathing in the dark, as if she was trying to believe that she was really with me in Georgia and not back in Mexico with Mendoza. Finally, after a small eternity, she would calm down and go back to sleep. I wondered what it would be like for her if I weren’t in bed beside her. Would she be able to calm down, or would she suffer a lot of sleepless nights like I had in the past?

While I was helping Annabel, it didn’t escape my mind how much I enjoyed her presence, either. I wanted her to be well, and to not need me, but her presence was a comfort, too. One I expected I would miss when she left.

But at the same time, I was beginning to feel like the human equivalent of a child’s safety blanket. While I wanted to be there for her, I was still so frightened that I was impeding her healing. That as long as I allowed her to use me, she would never be well on her own. However, she never mentioned her therapist’s voicing these concerns. With Alexandra’s help, she had managed to find one she liked, and had started twice-a-week appointments.

The true bright spot in her life, and if I let myself admit it, in mine as well, was Poe. Who knew a little deer could bring so much love and enjoyment to our lives? Through Annabel’s care, he—we’d discovered we had a boy—was thriving. I was amazed at how much knowledge she possessed to care for him. The whole routine of stimulating him to pee or poop with warm cotton balls blew my mind. When I had said as much, Annabel only giggled. “Well, his mother would do that in the wild to protect him from predators.”

“But how . . .”

“With her tongue,” she replied.

“Disgusting,” I muttered.

Poe had moved from a small crate in my bedroom to a larger crate on the back porch. He was soon going to be big enough to use an old dog run we had on the property. Annabel never had to do his feedings alone. Willow often came to help give Poe his bottle, but the most amusing scene was when Deacon or Bishop would come by and gather the blanket-wrapped deer up like a baby to give him his bottle.

Friday night found me finishing up a feeding with Poe. I had insisted that Annabel take it easy after she helped Mama Beth cook a big meal for a family who had a sick relative. When I sniffed my shirt and got a strong whiff of animal, I knew I needed to grab a quick shower before heading up to the roadhouse.

After I showered and shaved, I came out of the bedroom to find Annabel reading on the couch. At the sight of me, she lowered her e-reader, and then narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Going somewhere?”

“Uh, yeah, actually I am. I have to go up to the roadhouse. One of our prospects is getting patched in.”

Her face took on a bewildered expression. “Patched in? What does that mean?”

I laughed. “It means he’s a full member of the club now. He doesn’t have to run around doing errands. He’s proven he’s worthy of us.”

“That all comes in the form of a patch?”

“Before, he had to wear a prospect’s patch, which is like a sign saying you’re everyone’s bitch. Now he gets the real deal.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“I don’t know about that. Of course, Crazy Ace, the guy we’re patching in, could make anything interesting.”

“Oh really?”

“If you want, I can walk you over to Mama Beth’s on the way,” I suggested as I grabbed my keys.

“Do women ever go to these things?”

I turned around to stare at her in surprise. In the entire month since she had been with me, she had never once set foot inside the roadhouse. One by one, the Raiders had come down to meet her. She seemed to do well with a few of us at a time. “Um, yeah, they do.”

“Then can I come? I mean, I hate to invite myself, but I’d like to get out for a while. And I’ve never seen the roadhouse.”

I fiddled with the keys in my hand. “Are you sure you’re up to it?” While I knew my brothers would be on their best behavior around Annabel, I was more concerned about how she would react to them. Strange men in cuts could inevitably lead to a flashback of her time with the Diablos.

She rose off the couch with a determined expression. “I think I’d like to try.”

“Then I’d like to have you join me.”

Glancing down at her clothes, she asked, “Am I dressed okay?”

I laughed. “Compared to what some of the women will be wearing, you’re overdressed.”

“Should I go change into something more revealing?” she teased.

“No,” I replied a little too quickly. Annabel ducked her head, but I thought I saw the hint of a smile on her lips. “Come on. We’d better be going.”

When we got to the back door of the roadhouse, I stopped her. “What is it?” she asked.

“If at any time you don’t feel comfortable, you just let me know. Even if I’m taking part in the patching, you can come and get me. Okay?”

“Thank you, Rev,” she replied. She then proceeded to shock the hell out of me by reaching up and tenderly kissing my cheek. “You’re so good to me.”

Feeling like I had been knocked on my ass, I threw open the back door and ushered her inside. Live music blared from the house band that played on special occasions. The steady roar of conversation came from all around us. At the far end of the roadhouse, the women had set up a long table filled with home-cooked food. Kim and Alexandra, along with some of the other wives, were helping the men through the line.

“Hungry?” I asked Annabel.

“Not right now. But don’t let me stop you.”

I glanced from the table back to her. “Kim’s chili is fucking amazing.”

Annabel smiled. “Then let’s get you some before it’s all gone.”

Placing my hand on the small of her back, I started to guide her through the crowd. At Annabel’s sudden intake of breath, I quickly demanded, “What’s wrong?”

She motioned to Willow, across the room. “I was just surprised to see her here.”

“Since it’s a patching ceremony, wives, girlfriends, and families are invited. The first part of the night is pretty calm with the celebrating.” I grinned at her. “It’ll be around midnight, after the kids are put to bed, when things get really crazy.”

When she caught sight of us, Willow made a beeline to our sides. After giving us both hugs, she asked, “How’s Poe?”

“I just gave him his bottle right before we left.”

“Did you remember to poop and pee him?”

“Yes, Miss Priss, I did. I think I know how to care for Poe.”

“Just checking.”

Annabel grinned. “We were going to get Uncle Rev some chili. Do you want some?”

“Sure.” She slipped her hand into Annabel’s, and they started walking together slightly ahead of me. I figured Annabel was just as safe with Willow as she was with me. After all, the guys knew if one hair on Willow’s head was harmed, Deacon would have their asses.

We got in line behind Archer, who was talking to Alexandra. The two shared a bond over joining forces to save Deacon’s life. After he leaned over to give her a hug, he caught my eye. “Prez! Good to see you, man.” He threw out his hand, and I happily shook his.

Turning to Annabel, I said, “You remember Archer? He came by the house a few times.”

She smiled and offered her hand, which surprised me. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“He just got patched a few months ago,” I told her.

Archer chuckled. “Yeah, I was saying to Alexandra it feels like I was just at my patch ceremony.”

“Hard to believe it’s been four months, huh?”

He nodded. Archer had just taken a long pull of beer when Willow said to Annabel, “Archer is my favorite. I’m going to marry him someday.”

Archer’s beer spewed out of his mouth all over the plastic plates and forks. After he wiped his mouth, he shook his head. “Jesus, kid. You want your old man to kill me?”

Willow’s dark brows scrunched together in confusion. “Why would my daddy kill you for marrying me?”

I chuckled. “Because daddies are very particular about who their little girls marry.”

Willow waved her hand dismissively. “But Daddy likes Archer. After all, he helped save Mommy’s life.”

Archer sat his beer down on the table. Alexandra was managing to stay out of the conversation by cleaning up Archer’s beer mess. Archer crouched down to where he could be on eye level with Willow. “I like you a lot, kid. You know that, right?” She nodded. “But I can never be your boyfriend.”

“Why not?”

“For starters, there ain’t no way in hell your daddy is ever going to let you date one of his brothers. But the most important reason is I’m too old for you.”

“Just how old are you?”

“Twenty.”

Willow cocked her head and gazed up at the ceiling like she was concentrating hard. “But one day I’ll be twenty, and you’ll be thirty-four.”

“And I’ll still be too old for you.”

Her lips turned down in a pout. “Don’t you want to be my boyfriend?”

Archer jerked his head up and gave me a pleading look.

“Willow, it’s fine to pretend that Archer is your boyfriend for now. But it’ll just have to be pretend, okay?”

“I guess so,” she replied glumly.

Both Archer and I froze at her sniffle. Without a word, Annabel put her arm around Willow’s shoulder. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have a woman-to-woman talk about boyfriends.” She then took Willow behind the table where the women were gathered, which I knew would feel safe to both her and Willow.

Archer let out a low whistle. “Son of a bitch. She’s gonna be the death of me at six years old.”

I laughed. “Deacon isn’t going to put you to ground just because his daughter has a little crush.”

With a shudder, Archer replied, “I just don’t want anyone thinking anything pervy about me. Like I was encouraging her or something.”

Now it was my turn to do the comforting. I put my arm around the kid’s shoulder. Even though he was just seven years younger than me, he was new to the club, and it aged you like dog years. “You just keep acting the same way to Willow as you always have. Next week she’ll have moved on to someone else.”

“I sure as hell hope so.”

I smacked his back. “Come on. Let’s get some chili.”

Whatever Annabel said to Willow worked like a charm, and she was back to her sunny self within minutes. When they rejoined me, I leaned over to whisper into Annabel’s ear, “Thanks for doing that.”

“I was glad to help.” She cocked her head at me. “No matter what the age, it always hurts to be rejected,” she said knowingly.

I dropped my gaze to my bowl of chili, since it seemed a hell of a lot safer than looking at Annabel at that moment. Her words were as loaded as if I were looking down the barrel of a shotgun. The last thing I wanted to do was press the matter of the underlying tension between us.

Thankfully, I was saved by Deacon coming up to get me for the ceremony. “I have to go to the front now. Why don’t you go back with Alexandra and Kim?”

She smiled. “Okay. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

I watched her move around the side of the table and go stand between Alexandra and Kim. I was so thankful they all got along so well. It was almost a test of how well your girl would fare in the long run if she could get along with the other old ladies. I shook my head, as I sure as hell shouldn’t have been thinking of Annabel in those terms. Don’t even go there. She isn’t your girl or your old lady, and she never will be.

After I motioned to the band, the music stopped. All the patch-holding guys came forward to form a circle. “Tonight we bring another brother into our ranks. Over the last year, he’s proven himself to be worthy of wearing a Raiders patch.” I signaled to Archer, who went out the back door to get Crazy Ace. As per tradition, he had been forced to wait away from the party until he was called for.

Although his usual persona was cocky as hell, he came in with his head down. His usual pimp walk was gone. I could tell he took this as seriously as he was supposed to. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Even the babies in some of the women’s arms were subdued. When he approached me, I turned to Deacon, who handed me the new patch. “Crazy Ace, do you wish to patch in as a full member to the Georgia chapter of the Hells Raiders?”

“I do.”

“Do you swear to uphold the principles of the club while always having your brothers’ backs, even if it means sacrificing your own?”

“I do.”

I smiled and slapped him on the back. “Then welcome to the club.” I passed the patch over to him and then reached in to hug him.

After the hugging and backslapping had died down, I went over to join Annabel. “So, what did you think?” I asked when she handed me a beer.

“It was interesting.” She jerked her chin to where Crazy Ace now sat at a table alone, sewing his patch onto his cut. “Does he need some help with that?” When I chuckled, she narrowed her eyes at me. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. It’s just that no one but Crazy Ace can sew his patch on. It’s too sacred.”

“But what if he doesn’t know how to sew?”

“Then he learns real fast.”

She grinned. “It’s kind of funny seeing a tattooed guy covered in piercings with a needle and thread in his hands.”

“You’re always responsible for your cut. You never let an old lady take care of it. It’s your job to treat the leather and make sure the patches aren’t falling off.”

“Sounds pretty serious.”

I nodded. “During the rest of the night, some of the guys will try to take Crazy Ace’s cut as a way to test his loyalty. He would be in deep shit if it ever got out of his sight. First night I had my patch, I slept with my cut on so some smart-ass couldn’t take it.”

Alexandra nudged Annabel with a laugh. “It’s really like a sorority when you think about it. All the rules and procedures.”

“Not quite,” I shot back, with a smile to soften my words.

Just as the band was about to start back up, Deacon jumped up onstage. At the sight of him, whistles and catcalls went up around the room. “I know this is Crazy Ace’s big night, but my old lady and I got some pretty kick-ass news today that I have to share.”

“Deacon,” Alexandra said, laughing at his description.

He smiled down at her with love that I had never imagined he could possess for a woman. “So raise a glass in honor of my son!”

My gaze went from Deacon to Alexandra, who was beaming. A boy. I was going to have a nephew—another male to carry on the Malloy family name. I couldn’t have been happier in that moment if the news had been my own.

The elation I felt was short-lived, for when I turned to smile at Annabel I saw that her expression was one of extreme anguish. I knew in that moment that what she had been denied was coming front and center to torment her. At any second, I expected her to burst into tears. Instead, she seemed to be getting her game face on right before my eyes. She straightened her shoulders and walked over to Alexandra. She gave her a hug. When Alexandra whispered something in Annabel’s ear, her composure momentarily faltered, and her entire body shuddered like she was in physical pain.

Once again I held my breath in concern that she was about to fall apart. But instead, she pulled away from Alexandra with a smile. Without a word to me, she then made her way through the crowd to the bar. I quickly caught up to her. “You okay?”

“Fine. Just wanted a drink.”

Since Alexandra had demanded that Deacon’s ex, Cheyenne, be banned from the club, we hadn’t found a new bartender. Instead, it became the job of the prospects, and it was the reason why you never ordered any mixed drinks.

“What can I get you?” our newest prospect, Jolting Joe, asked.

“A shot of Crown Royal,” Annabel requested.

Jolting Joe’s expression showed his confusion. “Is that some sorta mixed drink?”

I laughed. “Honey, we don’t have anything that expensive here.”

“Then what’s a good whiskey that will get me drunk?” she asked in a matter-of-fact voice.

I eyed her cautiously. “You think that’s a good idea?”

“I need to get drunk. I haven’t been drunk in months. In fact, I haven’t been truly rip-roaring drunk but maybe three times in my life.” Sweeping a hand to her hip, she asked determinedly, “So what’s gonna get me drunk?”

“Tequila’s good,” Jolting Joe suggested.

Annabel grimaced. “No tequila,” she whispered. I knew she had probably been exposed to Mendoza’s drunken rages after he’d partaken of too much tequila.

“Give her some Jack and Coke.”

“Don’t sugarcoat it for me,” Annabel protested.

Deacon joined us at the bar. “Give the girl a bottle of Jack and a glass, brother.”

Annabel turned to smile sweetly at Deacon. “Thank you.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think this is any of your business.”

He grinned. “Actually, it kinda reminds me of the time you didn’t think anything was wrong with Alex drunkenly dancing on the bar.” His comment earned him a smack from Alexandra.

“I can’t believe you just brought that up.”

“You were so sexy that night,” Deacon mused, his gaze becoming hooded.

Alexandra rolled her eyes. “On that note, I’m taking Willow and going home.” When she started past him, he grabbed her and pulled her to him, molding her body against his own.

“I won’t be long.” He kissed her hungrily. When he pulled away, Alexandra appeared to have forgiven him. She took Willow’s hand and waved good-bye.

Turning back on his barstool, he took a longneck from Jolting Joe. “Anyway, as I see it, payback’s a bitch.”

“Asshole,” I muttered under my breath. “Fine. A bottle of Jack and a glass.”

“Yes, sir,” Jolting Joe replied. After he retrieved the whiskey and thankfully just a shot-sized glass, rather than a regular-sized one, he placed it in front of Annabel. She unscrewed the lid and poured the dark liquid almost to the brim.

After cutting her eyes in my direction, she asked, “Aren’t you drinking?”

“Someone needs to stay sober to keep an eye on you.”

“Oh, Rev, you’re actually sounding like an old fart.”

She knew just how to goad me. “Fine. I’ll take some Jack, too.”

Once I had a glass as full as hers, she clinked the two together. “Bottoms up.” I’d barely had a chance to bring the glass to my lips before she had knocked hers back. Her eyes pinched shut as a shudder ran through her body. When she opened them, she grinned. “That was intense.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just downed that.”

She grinned. “Let’s just say I learned a lot during extracurricular activities my freshman year.”

“I see.” When I swallowed my Jack, Annabel poured us another drink, but this time she sipped at it more cautiously. When Jolting Joe left us, we were alone again. “You want to talk about earlier?” I asked.

“No,” she replied, then took another sip. She cut her eyes from watching the couples on the dance floor back to me. “I’m sorry I freaked out like that,” she said softly.

“You didn’t freak out, and you don’t need to apologize.”

She sighed. “I feel so selfish being jealous of Alexandra. I mean, it’s not like I’m ready to have a baby right now. Maybe it’s something stubborn in me that only wants what it can’t have.”

I shook my head. “I think you have every right to be upset. A part of your future was taken away. It doesn’t matter if you wanted a child today or if you’d never wanted one.”

Annabel gave me a sad smile. “You always say just the right thing.”

“Once again, I think you’re flattering me.”

“Guess I haven’t worked my magic on you in the last month,” she mused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I told you that day at tohi a-ma that I wanted you to be able to see how wonderful you are. Being modest is admirable, but it doesn’t mean you always have to discredit your strengths and talents.”

Just like Annabel, I remembered that day. What she had said to me had stayed with me this past month. Part of me was flattered by her compliments, while another part of me doubted their authenticity. As much as I hated to admit it, everything seemed to have changed between us. No matter how hard I’d tried to stop or fight it.

With most of the wives and families clearing out, the band had cranked up even louder. Some of the unattached men were enjoying the scantily clad sweet butts or club whores who came around on party nights. When clothes started coming off, I turned to Annabel. “Maybe it’s time we got out of here.”

She giggled. “Oh, Rev, that”—she motioned with her glass to the half-naked women gyrating against the men—“doesn’t bother me. I might as well be back at a sorority party.”

Although she said it didn’t bother her, I didn’t want her to be around anything that could trigger a backlash of emotions for her. “I would feel better if we went back to my room.”

“Your room?” she questioned in surprise.

“Yeah, the officers in the club have rooms in the back so we can crash here. Tonight some of the other guys will be using them.”

“For indecent purposes?” she teased.

I laughed. “Yes. I’m sure for that.”

“I don’t think I’ve had so much Jack that I can’t make it back to the house. I might not be able to walk a straight line, but I’m pretty sure I can walk.”

“I’m sure you can. As president, I need to hang around a while. I’ll feel better knowing you’re close.”

She smiled. “Well, when you say it like that, how can I refuse?” She hopped down from her stool and staggered a bit. “Hmm, maybe I have had a little too much.”

“I think anything after the first shot was too much.”

Slinging my arm around Annabel’s shoulder, I drew her closer to me as I led her to the back. “I don’t know how easy it’s going to be for you to go to sleep with the music going.”

“I’ll be fine. I can always read.”

“Did you bring your e-reader thing with you?”

With a grin, she replied, “No, but I figured your room would have some books.”

My chest tightened at the fact that she knew me so well and could even remember it in her slightly inebriated state. I opened the door for her, and she stepped inside. Turning around in a circle, she took in the room. She pointed at my bookcase. “Told ya.”

I laughed. “Okay, okay. You know me too well.”

Annabel tossed her purse onto the bed and then walked over to the bookcase. “The complete works of Shakespeare.” Making a tsking noise, she added, “You are hard-core.”

“I like the tragedies.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

Even through the walls and the closed door, the beat of the music was audible in the room. When the band changed over to a slow song, Annabel began to sway back and forth on her feet. “Are you all right?” I asked.

Glancing at me over her shoulder, she said, “Dance with me.”

My heartbeat skipped and seemed to pop erratically like an old vinyl record. “What?” I managed to ask when I recovered.

“Dance with me.”

“Here?”

“Why not?” Turning around, she walked over to me. Although in my warped mind, it was more like she stalked over to me like a cat. “Don’t tell me you can’t slow-dance.”

“I can slow-dance just fine.”

As my arms went around her waist, I drew her flush against me. The contact of our bodies caused us both to suck in a breath. Sliding her arms up my chest, Annabel then brought them around my neck. When her fingers glided through the strands of my hair, I fought to keep my composure. Call me a pussy, but there was something that turned me on about a woman playing with my hair, tugging on it wildly as she rode out an orgasm.

I lowered my head to rest it on Annabel’s shoulder. Closing my eyes, I allowed my mind to wander. Like the dirty bastard I was, I envisioned having Annabel on the bed, legs spread wide, my head between them, and her clutching and clawing my hair and scalp as she came on my tongue. Just the thought sent a shiver of need down my spine and caused my whole body to tremble with desire.

“Are you cold?” Annabel asked.

“I’m fine,” I croaked.

She tightened her hold on me while pressing her body tighter against mine. It was a sweet gesture of compassion to warm me up that had the opposite effect than what she had intended. “Rev?”

“Hmm?”

“Look at me.”

When I pulled my head off her shoulder, I stared into her green eyes. The look in them told me everything I needed to know about what was going on in Annabel’s head. Motherfucker. I was a dead man.

I knew right then and there I needed to extricate myself from the situation and get the hell out of there. But instead, I remained frozen in place. I didn’t even jerk back when Annabel brought her lips to mine.

Oh damn. Those lips. Those soft, soft lips. Warm, inviting, and full. I imagined them moving all over my body, especially on my dick. As her mouth worked against mine, those fingers began to work their magic in my hair.

Grabbing my shirt, she pulled me down onto the bed. While our arms and legs tangled together, our mouths never parted. When she thrust her warm tongue into my mouth, I groaned and gripped her tighter. It was all so wrong and so right at the same time.

When I started to get up, she tried to pull me closer. “Where are you going?”

“I need to check on the guys. Make sure everybody gets out.”

“Oh. Okay.” A pleading look entered her eyes. “But you’ll come back to me. Won’t you?”

“Sure. Just let me take care of some things. I’ll also lock the door.”

She gave me a drowsy smile as her head lay back on the pillow. Her eyes closed in contentment, and she sighed. “You’re always so good to me. No wonder I’m falling in love with you.”

Her words had the same effect on me as standing in a field during a lightning storm. Electricity zapped the top of my head and ran through my body. Without a word to her, I backed quickly away from the bed and disappeared from the bedroom. I had been fearing something like this in the last month—the way she looked at me, the way she talked to me, the way she’d wrapped herself around me in the night. I’d been a selfish bastard and enjoyed it too much to put a stop to it. Now I’d somehow managed to lead her on. I was the sickest type of fucker out there. I’d preyed on an abuse victim.

As I walked up the hallway to the tune of my self-deprecating tirade, another voice broke through. Forceful and unrelenting, it was one I battled daily. It liked to call itself the voice of reason, but it was more like the voice of lunacy to me.

Man up. That beautiful girl in there loves you, and you love her, too. You’ve probably loved her since the night she called for you in the hospital. You’re just too fucking scared to admit it. You want to try to say she doesn’t know what she’s saying or doing because of what she went through with Mendoza. But the truth is you’re afraid you’re not good enough for her. After all, you’re just a biker with a two-year degree, and she’s political royalty from a privileged upbringing.

“Go fuck yourself,” I muttered to the voice.

“Excuse me, Prez?” Jolting Joe asked. He had a trash bag in one hand and was tossing beer bottles in with the other. As a prospect, he wouldn’t be getting any ass tonight like some of his brothers were. He would be on cleanup duty, and from the looks of it, he was going to be busy for hours.