Текст книги "Take Me for Granted"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Chapter 35: Grant

“Hey, Grant!”

Disoriented in the smoke-filled room, I glanced up to try to see who had called my name. Jesus fuck, the room is fucking spinning. How much of this did I drink? I glanced at the bottle and saw it was more than half gone. I couldn’t have killed that all by myself.

I slammed the bottle back down on the table, pulled a drag on my cigarette, and then stubbed it out in the ashtray. A girl pulled on my arm, but I shrugged her off and stood. Then, I caught sight of who had spoken—Donovan.

And he had his arm around my girl.

Then, I got a glimpse of Ari. Oh fuck! She looked smoking hot. She was wearing a short fucking skirt that hugged her body, her tits were on full display, and she had on sexy black boots that I wouldn’t mind her just leaving on as I fucked her. Fuck, I’d been inside that.

Why the fuck is Donovan touching my girl?

My anger fueled me forward, and I managed to surge toward them without stumbling. “What the fuck is this?” I growled.

Ari’s eyes smoldered. I knew what that look meant. Even in my haze, I knew that the girl I’d fallen for, the one who had drugged me and then laughed in my face at the suggestion of ever seeing me again, was about to rear her head. My mouthy little thing looked about two seconds away from punching me in the face. Instead of infuriating me, it only fucking turned me on. Is there a dark corner around here?

“Hey, man. I found your girlfriend,” Donovan said the word like he didn’t understand what it meant. And the way his hand slid down her arm to her waist made it seem like he might actually not believe in the word.

I hadn’t believed in that word before Ari. And if he didn’t back the fuck off, I was going to lay his ass on the floor. I didn’t give a shit that his loyal and dedicated fans and bandmates surrounded me. I was going to knock his ass into tomorrow. But I didn’t get a chance because Ari was already squirming away from him.

“Cut it out,” she said, slapping at his hand. “I’m not a groupie. Go grope someone else.”

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into my chest. “Yeah, she’s not a fucking groupie. You lay one more hand on her, and I’ll fucking destroy you.”

The people around us were getting wind of what was happening, and the noise was dying out.

Ari smacked me on the arm. “You don’t touch me either!”

“Princess…”

“Don’t even start that shit with me,” she growled.

“You’ve got a live one, McDermott,” Donovan said.

Ari shot him a death glare, but her anger was really directed at me. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Having a good time,” I offered lightly.

Apparently, that had been the wrong answer.

“Having a good time? Because it’s a great time to get wasted and high with a bunch of girls who have probably fucked every guy in the room.”

“Babe, it’s normal to be jealous,” Donovan said with laughter in his voice. “This is just the life.”

“Why don’t you stay out of this?” she asked. She turned back to me. “You left Miller and McAvoy out there without a word right before your set. You’re trashed. How are you supposed to perform?”

I just shook my head. She didn’t need to be laying this shit on me right now. “I’ve fucking performed blitzed out of my mind before.”

“You’re acting like an idiot. You’re not this person. These guys are feeding into your personality, and you’re just sitting idly by and letting it happen.”

“I’m just having a good time, Princess.”

I was starting to get irritated. I wasn’t a child. She didn’t need to lecture me. Why shouldn’t I get to hang out with another band? Another very successful band? I wasn’t ditching my boys. I wasn’t ditching her. I was just meeting new people and getting drunk.

“Yeah,” Donovan said. He was practically giddy. “Why don’t you have a good time with us, too?”

He reached for her again, like she was a toy he wanted to play with.

Ari deflected his advance. “Do I look like I’m here for your amusement, pretty boy?”

“You’re pretty amusing. Everyone else thinks so.”

Ari glanced around, and it seemed to dawn on her that we had an audience. Her cheeks colored. I could see her withdraw from the world around her. She hated crowds, and she hated being noticed. I saw the same panic in her eyes now that I had seen the time we’d been on the quad when she’d flipped her shit on me.

“Whatever. Have your fun then,” she said.

She was silently pleading with me, but I was pissed, too. Who does she think she is to come in here and bitch me out in front of all these people?

I crossed my arms over my chest. “All right.”

She shook her head at me in disbelief and then turned and started walking out of the room. Donovan started walking after her, but Hollis got in his way at the exit. Good. I wouldn’t have to go beat the shit out of him. I kind of liked the guy. But he couldn’t touch Ari.

At her exit, everyone started talking again, and the room quickly returned back to its earlier state of debauchery. My thoughts were swirling in my head, telling me that I should fucking go after her. I was an idiot. I should make this right. She was too good for me. I was just a drunk loser who had managed to win a girl I didn’t deserve. If I wanted to keep her, I needed to go—right now.

But I remained rooted to my spot. I wasn’t going to go after her. She had embarrassed both of us. They weren’t just some band. They were also my future colleagues. These were people I needed to know if I wanted to get picked up. Having a girlfriend chastise me in front of everyone wasn’t exactly a way to endear myself to them.

Chapter 36: Aribel

I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.

Tears welled in my eyes, and I took several healing breaths to try to keep them at bay. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I couldn’t believe I’d just seen Grant in that state. I couldn’t believe how that argument had just gone down. I couldn’t fucking believe that all he had said was that he was having a good time.

God, he’s being so careless. It wasn’t just the girls. Though, the whole Kristin thing was irritating. Is that what all that shit had been about in class? Is she interested in Grant? Ugh, I didn’t want to think about it.

Either way, while the girls had irritated me, I didn’t actually think he would do anything. He’d had his chance for months, and he’d said that he hadn’t. He could have been lying, but I didn’t want to believe that.

The truth of the matter was that I was more worried about him throwing away everything he’d worked for. It had been clear he thought The Drift could help them get signed. But he obviously hadn’t thought about the fact that none of the other guys had gotten an invite to the private party. To me, that meant they wanted him, not the band, and that was something he absolutely would not agree to. Would he agree to that if he were obliterated like he was?

No. No way.

Gah! Even when I was pissed at him, I was more concerned for his well-being than anything. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why should I bother being concerned about his future when he isn’t?

Then, I thought back to the way he had treated me. One second, he had manhandled me and said he was going to destroy Donovan if he touched me, and the next second, he hadn’t said a damn word when I was being humiliated. After what had happened last night and this afternoon, I just couldn’t fathom what the fuck his problem was.

I found Miller and McAvoy almost as soon as I’d exited the private room. They looked at me and then at each other with worry between their eyebrows. I hadn’t hung out with them all that much, but I must have looked like a wreck to get that much concern from them.

“What happened?” Miller asked.

I swept my hands under my eyes and shook my head. I never got like this. I’d been broken up with countless times, and I had never shed a tear. Grant and I were just arguing, and I was crying.

To my surprise, it was McAvoy who comforted me. “Grant’s kind of an ass. He probably didn’t mean whatever he said.”

“That’s comforting,” I said sarcastically.

“We’ve known him for a long time. He doesn’t exactly have a way with words.”

They were probably right, but I just wanted to walk back into the room and punch Grant in the face. When I could speak without a shuddering breath, I finally told them. “He’s with The Drift.”

“What?” Miller gasped.

McAvoy looked just as shocked.

“I don’t have any idea what he’s doing, but he’s all fucked-up.”

“Christ! And we have to go on soon,” Miller said.

“No Grant and no Vin,” McAvoy said, looking at Miller accusingly. “This is going to be a great show.”

“Vin will fucking be here,” Miller grumbled.

“I’m just going to go back inside and hang out with my friends. Grant was going to show me around backstage, but obviously, that isn’t happening.”

“Do we need to go get Grant?” Miller asked.

I shrugged. Honestly, I didn’t know. Grant was pissed, but I didn’t know what that meant. I couldn’t imagine him not playing the show. Music was his passion. It had gotten him through much worse times than this. I didn’t care how fucked-up he was. He would never ditch a show.

“I think he’ll show.”

McAvoy nodded. “He’s never ditched us before.”

A flicker of worry passed across Miller’s face. Did he know that it’s a very real possibility that record labels are interested in Grant, but not necessarily ContraBand? Is he worried that the more time Grant spent with other bands, the more likely he might sell out? It was my worry…my fear. I hated seeing it reflected back to me.

“No, he wouldn’t,” Miller finally agreed.

Just as I was turning to leave, I saw Vin stalking across the room.

“Looks like you’re only one short,” I said.

I didn’t want to be here to see this confrontation. Hopefully, Vin had taken McAvoy’s advice, calmed down, and left that shit behind him. By the fury on his Italian face though, I was starting to think he didn’t do calm.

“So, I’m fucking here,” Vin said.

“And I’m leaving,” I said.

“Hey, where’s Grant?”

“Occupied.”

Vin raised his eyebrows at me. “Well, if he is, you want to be?”

McAvoy smacked him on the chest. “Not right now, bro.”

“What? If Grant is fucking some other girl, then I can fuck his girl. That’s how it works, right?”

Vin and Miller glared at each other.

“Fucking drop it, Vin,” Miller snapped.

I heard McAvoy say something else, but I was already walking away. The band went on in thirty minutes, and I didn’t want to be backstage when Grant surfaced. I was having a hard enough time keeping my emotions under control around his friends. I wasn’t sure what I would do when I came face-to-face with Grant again.

Cheyenne, Shelby, and Gabi had staked out a spot near the front of the stage. Drinks in hand, they were discussing the last band who had performed. Apparently, the lead singer had been dressed in drag, and the band had played “Piano Man” to close their set. They said that it had been a sight to behold.

“What was backstage like?” Shelby asked me.

The crew was onstage setting up ContraBand’s equipment.

I wrinkled my nose. “Full of sluts and booze.”

Cheyenne laughed. “Isn’t that everywhere?”

“Did you get to meet other bands?” Gabi asked.

“Yeah,” I said, grinding my teeth together.

“Which ones?”

I sighed. “The Drift.”

The girls all just stared at me.

“Oh. Ha-ha. That’s cute,” Cheyenne said, rolling her green eyes.

They didn’t believe me. Good. I didn’t want to talk about it.

“I think she’s being serious, Chey,” Shelby said.

“Who did you meet?” Gabi asked, wide-eyed.

I didn’t miss a beat. “Donovan Jenkins.”

“Holy shit!” Cheyenne whispered. “He’s gorgeous.”

“Yep,” I said stiffly. “He tried to get me to become his groupie. I turned him down.” I sent her a scathing smile.

“You know, when you do that, I really can’t tell if you’re serious or being a sarcastic bitch like normal.”

I laughed and gave Cheyenne a hug. She looked positively stunned by the display of affection.

“I’m glad you’re my friend, Cheyenne, or else I’d probably hate you.”

“I feel like that all the time.”

The lights flickered, announcing the start of the next band, and my heart raced in anticipation. We were jostled forward as the crowd pressed in on the stage. I was moved closer and closer, and all I could think about was my argument with Grant. I was so angry with him, but at the same time, I just wanted it to be right.

Things felt…complete when we were together. Despite our differences, we clicked. But then, I remembered the way he had drunkenly looked at me, like I was an embarrassment to him, and it solidified my anger. I’d rather make him beg than give in to that girlie feeling of helplessness over a man.

The band walked onstage. First, McAvoy took a seat at his drum set, then Miller walked to the far side of the stage, then Vin followed his typical charisma returning with the start of the show…then Grant. The crowd whooped as he strode confidently onstage. Only I could notice the swagger in his walk was from liquor.

Grant gripped the microphone in his hand, and I couldn’t help it. My heart skipped a beat. Damn him for making me feel this way!

“What’s up Poconos music festival?” he called into the microphone. “We’re ContraBand. Here tonight from Princeton, New Jersey. Any people from Jersey in the house?”

A huge crowd cheered, my friends among them.

“We’re opening tonight with a song written for Jersey about getting the fuck out of there. Every now and then, you just want to leave your home and be somewhere else. This song is ‘Hemorrhage.’”

Our eyes locked right before he started in on the first verse, and then he was just a presence taking over the ski lodge. I was compelled to him as much as I was repulsed by his shit behavior.

“We have a few more songs for you tonight, but this one…this one is new.”

I narrowed my eyes at the stutter in his voice. Grant didn’t stutter. His gaze shifted to mine, and then his eyes didn’t move.

He was staring right at me. “We call this one ‘Life Raft.’”

Vin started up on the melody, and then McAvoy chimed in with a slower down beat. Miller brought in the bass, and then Grant started strumming his guitar. My mouth dropped open slightly. He seemed to nod at me as if telling me that I did know this one. It was what he had been playing earlier today in his suite.

I let the sounds of the strings wash over me just as Grant’s voice came in through the speakers. I didn’t want this. He wasn’t supposed to charm me onstage while I was angry at him. I deserved an apology.

But then, I heard the chorus.

Every time I see you. You make me feel better.

Every single day. You push away the pain.

You push away the memories.

You’re my life raft. In an endless ocean.

You saved me from drowning.

You saved me from myself.

You’re my life raft. In an endless ocean.

I’d heard those words. He’d said them to me last night…right before we’d had sex. This song was for me. It was about us.

I fought back tears and remembered what we had said earlier.

Are you going to sing for me?

Tonight.

Chapter 37: Grant

Ari was crying.

Shit! I kind of hoped that was a good thing. I hadn’t intended on making her cry. I’d poured everything into this song when I wrote it while she’d been gone over Thanksgiving break. I couldn’t believe I’d actually spoken the lyrics to her right before we had sex last night. But the words were for her. I’d written them to express how I felt when I was around her.

Even drunk and angry, I couldn’t deny that the words were true. I had been pissed, and I’d let her walk away. I hadn’t even gone after her. Maybe I was never meant to be a boyfriend. I should have stood up for her, or at the very least, I should have taken our conversation to a private location. I’d known what she was feeling, but instead, I’d just stood there.

Donovan and Hollis had spoken to me afterward to make sure everything was all right. It had felt strange having this conversation with them. I didn’t even fucking know them. They seemed cool, and damn was the life incredible. It was like living in a dream—a dream that hovered just on the edge of reality.

I could have this. All I had to do was reach out and take it. Hollis wanted to talk after the show. I’d given him a dismissive answer, but I really fucking wanted to find out what he wanted. He’d be stupid to give me the same offer that Frank had tried to spell out for me, but Hollis seemed to have a bit more sense than Frank.

I didn’t know. All I really knew was that, I would talk to him. I’d never been one to deny myself anything, and I wasn’t going to start ignoring the curiosity that sprang up.

That didn’t mean I was going to walk out on the guys or Ari. It just meant…well, what the fuck did it mean? That I’m keeping my options open? I wasn’t. I wouldn’t compromise what I believed in. I just wasn’t stupid enough to ignore the opportunity to get everything I wanted.

We closed out the set with “Letting You.” The crowd cheered loudly with the success of our show. My eyes were locked on Ari’s. I needed to talk to her. I wanted to tell her to meet me now, that we needed to talk, that we needed to make this right between us. But I couldn’t. I’d talk to her later. By then, maybe my anger wouldn’t be simmering so close to the surface.

Hollis was waiting just offstage when we exited. He clapped me on the back like we were old friends. “Fucking great show, Grant!”

“Thanks.”

I tried to keep my enthusiasm to a minimum, but Hollis had a certain charisma about him that made something simple sound amazing. I could understand how he’d gotten so far in the business.

“So, we good to talk? I got us a room.”

Miller, McAvoy, and Vin looked at me expectantly. Yeah, shit. I hadn’t told them about this. I hadn’t even told them that I was with The Drift when I’d joined up with them earlier. “The guys can come with us, right?”

“Of course! Hollis Tift. Nice to meet you,” he said, shaking the guys’ hands.

Miller’s face relaxed. “We’ve spoken on the phone. Great to finally meet you in person.”

In hushed whispers, I filled the guys in on what I knew and why Hollis wanted to speak with me…us. Though I wasn’t sure exactly what he would say, I slung my guitar over my chest and talked confidently about it to the guys. This was our opportunity, just like they had all been saying.

We walked into a small room that was strangely reminiscent of our meeting with Frank—except Hollis lounged casually against the wall with his arms crossed and a big smile on his face.

“ContraBand,” Hollis said like he was testing the weight of the word. “Glad you guys are here. I was lucky enough to see your Halloween performance while I was in town, and after seeing what I just saw, I think you have a pretty marketable look and sound.”

Everyone tensed, anticipating the letdown.

“What are your plans for New Year’s Eve?”

I glanced over at Miller. Our eyes met, and he shrugged. Nothing. I’d been planning to go down the shore with Sydney while Ari was out of town, but I could cancel. It seemed like the same thing passed over everyone’s faces.

“No plans,” Miller said.

“How would you like to open for The Drift in New York City?”

It took a split second for reality to set in. Holy shit! We were being invited to play a huge show in the city. The Drift played sold-out shows all across the country. Opening for them could be our in.

“Are we signing a contract? Or is it just for the one show?” Miller asked, always getting straight to business.

“No official label contracts just yet,” Hollis said. “We’re looking for you guys for this show, and then based on how everything turns out, we’ll discuss terms from there.”

Another audition. Well, this one already seemed like a better opportunity than the show that Frank had shown up for. Hollis had said yet. That had sounded promising. I knew we’d rock out any show we performed, and this time, there was no mention of me ditching the band.

“So, are you in?”

“Definitely!” I said.

All the guys agreed.

Hollis handed us paperwork to fill out to confirm that we would be in attendance on New Year’s Eve. I scribbled down my information and then handed it off to Hollis.

“McDermott!” he called, stopping me at the door. “Are you going to be around the rest of the night? I’d love for you to introduce the rest of the band to The Drift.”

I smiled, feeling as light as air. “Yeah. Let me just put my guitar back in my room, and I’ll come back.”

“Perfect.”

I exited with the guys, and despite the high I was on, I could tell Miller and McAvoy wanted to say something. I wasn’t going to push them to initiate a conversation though. If they wanted to talk to me about hanging with the band, they could, but I’d helped get us this gig, so they couldn’t be pissed with me.

“I’ll meet you back here later,” I said.

Miller opened his mouth to say something but then shook his head. McAvoy nudged him, but Miller just grumbled something under his breath.

“Man, you going to talk to Ari?” McAvoy asked.

I was taken aback. “Why?”

“She just walked out of here pretty upset earlier,” Miller offered.

“She was crying,” McAvoy added.

Shit! I’d made her cry? I felt a part of me die. Yeah, fuck, I need to talk to her. But what the fuck am I supposed to say?

“I don’t know,” I finally said.

“Just remember what I said about her,” Miller said, giving me a knowing look.

How could I ever forget that Miller had said Ari had knocked humanity into me? What kind of person would I be at this point without her? I for sure would have fucked one of those chicks in the back room, if not more than one. I would have pushed the limits. All right, I’d fucking talk to her when I got back.

I told them as much before walking out of the venue with my guitar strapped to my back, leaving the rest of the guys to hang out backstage.

It was fucking cold outside, and the temperatures sobered me up further. I’d been a dick to Ari. She’d been out of line, but I’d acted like…well, like me. I’d done what I always did. And she was better than that.

My thoughts were broken when I heard what sounded like someone falling behind me. I turned around and saw a girl sitting heavily on the ice. She was wincing and holding her hand against her chest.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Um…yeah. I just hit the ground pretty hard.”

“How’s your hand?”

She grimaced. “It’s bleeding a bit.”

“Need help getting back inside or anything?”

I wasn’t exactly chivalrous, but she was kind of pretty. I would feel like a dick just leaving her out here. After how I’d treated Ari this afternoon, I felt like maybe I owed it to this girl to be nice.

“Oh, no, thanks. My cabin is just ahead. I’ll just go clean it up there.” She struggled to her feet and started walking uneasily again.

“I’m this way, too.”

She finally looked up into my face, and I swore I’d seen her somewhere. Damn my bad memory!

She smiled, and we walked together in silence. Before Ari, I probably would have taken this girl up to my room for a quickie or something.

We reached the ski resort hotel, and she started rifling through the small purse in her hand. I nodded to her and started to walk in the opposite direction. I let the feeling of giving up easy game pass over me. I’d have Ari alone later, and I’d convince her to have pretty epic make-up sex.

“Hey!” the girl called, jogging up to me. “Sorry to bother you again, but, um…I don’t have my key. Do you think I could wash my hand in your place before braving the cold again?” She suggestively fluttered her eyelashes at me.

I wondered briefly if she was telling the truth or just trying to get a step closer to my bed.

I could have sent her back to the lodge. It wouldn’t be the worst thing I’d ever done to a chick before, but it wasn’t like it would really hurt anything. I was heading right back out anyway.

“Sure. I’m going back to the lodge after I put my guitar up. I’m Grant.”

She smiled a knowing, maybe even triumphant smile. “I’m Kristin.”