Текст книги "Slut"

Автор книги: Jettie Woodruff

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

I carried three drinks to the table and dove right back in. “My husband showed me the footage of me meeting my sister at the bank. We were hugging, and then we got into my car, leaving hers there.”

“Where’s the car? Maybe we can find some clues in it,” Mi suggested, once again talking around the food in her mouth.

“That’s a great idea,” I exclaimed.

Nick was right quick to put her in her place. “No, you’re not doing anything. You’re staying out of this.”

Mi sipped her drink, looking at me. “Mmmm, this is way better than mine, and you’re not the boss of me. Besides, I’m on vacation for a whole week. What else am I going to do?”

“You’re going to clean this place up. That’s what you’re going to do, remember?”

I laughed while internally agreeing that their condo could use a good scrubbing and then it hit me. “Mi, I’ll help you clean and organize. I’m an expert at it. If you help me, I’ll help you. Do you have a car? I’m pretty sure Paxton said it was impounded.”

“No, no, and no. Mi’s not getting in the middle of this. You need to go away. Look, I’ll make a deal with you. One time, I’ll try to hypnotize you once, that’s it. The day you wrecked and nothing more. Got it?”

“Yes, yes I got it. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I said as if a great deal of heavy weight lifted from my shoulders. Finally. I was going to find out what happened that day.

“And I will help you find the car tomorrow,” Mi offered over the brim of her cup.

“No you won’t, Mi. That’s why I said one time and that’s it. We’re done with this. You’re not going to run around the city searching for clues.”

“Oh, and what about the parents? Did you talk to them? We should find out what they know about your sister. Do you think she went back to Michigan?”

“I never thought about that. Maybe Izzy wasn’t with me at all. Maybe I dropped her off somewhere, but no. Lane told me they were trying to get in contact with them.”

“I’m not here. Just ignore me,” Nick pouted while biting into his veggie wrap. Mi totally ignored him, jumped up, and grabbed a notebook.

“We need a plan. First we’ll do some research and see if we can find out if Izzy was even in the car with you.”

Nick’s body relaxed to the back of his chair with defeat. I knew at that moment I at least had Mi’s help, and I would take it. With great appreciation, I would take it. “Why would her car be impounded in Florida if she wasn’t in the car? That makes zero sense. You suck at being a detective. You better stick to delivering babies.”

“Ah, good point, but we still need to find them. Do you know what part of Michigan?” Mi questioned while she slurped noodles through her lips, and scribbled notes on notebook paper.

“Ah, Mi, you deliver babies? That’s so cool.” Mi didn’t really look like a doctor. Then again, neither did Nick.

“Yeah, yeah. What part of Michigan?”

“This is coming from a dream, but Lane told me it was true. Evidently I told him about it before I forgot who I was. Anyway, I remember the name Walker, and I remember his name was Brant, but I’m not sure about hers’, and I don’t know what part of Michigan. When can you do it, Nick, when can you hypnotize me?” I pushed away half my food and sipped on my drink, feeling full enough, and needing the drink way more than food.

“I’ll try to do it tomorrow. I have a slow morning, busy afternoon.”

“I can’t come to your office. I don’t trust Lane right now. Can’t you do it here?”

“Sure he can. He’s an expert.”

“Mi, shut the hell up.”

“Well you can.”

“But I’m not going to,” Nick said in a high pitch tone, wearing yet another frown, his head shaking back and forth dramatically. “I’ll walk over to your hotel, before work.”

Mi totally ignored all of Nick’s reasoning. Brushed over it like he never even spoke. “She’s not going there. Didn’t you hear anything at all? Take your blinders off for three seconds. I think you should get a good night’s sleep first. I feel like you’re too stressed. You can sleep in my Zen room. I’ll put some ambient music on and turn on the water fountain. That should help you relax.”

“She’s not staying here. Oh, my God, Mi. Stop it.”

“Yes she is, and you stop it. You’re not being a very nice host.”

“I’m not her host. You’re not her host. She’s not staying. She has a room right across the road. Now, if you’re finished with your food, I’ll walk you over there.”

“I’m not going back in that room. If you don’t let me stay here, I’ll find a shelter or something. I’m not giving that bastard the satisfaction.”

Thank God for my short Korean friend. “You’re staying here. We have an extra bedroom.”

“I give up. Come on King, let’s go for a walk.”

With that, Nick took his little dog with the big name and left us alone. Mi and I talked more about a plan the following day and then she showed me to my room. Trying to hide my expression was hard. I felt like I had just walked into the Dalai Lama’s bedroom. A fountain ran the length of the wall right by a bamboo covered window, a platform bed stood maybe two feet from the floor, and there were some sort of terracotta pots everywhere in every shape and color, all filled with different stones.

“Mi, did you make these? They’re beautiful,” I said as my fingers slid around the rim of a bright red pot. White daisies with yellow centers and pine colored stems were painted along the bottom, all different heights. The rust-tinted rocks inside the little pot were different, like nothing I’d ever seen before. Little specks of gold sparkled when I held it to the light.

“I made that one after going to a Christmas party with Nick. One of the girls was mean to me. The flowers are all different shapes and sizes, but they’re all the same. Not one is better than the other. I call it diverse. The stones are Green Goldstone, it’s an emotional healer, helps stabilize your emotions after someone hurts your feelings. Those girls don’t really matter, ya know? This is the room I go to when I forget where I come from, when I need to unwind, and remember that I’m never alone. Do you meditate?”

“No, but my mom would have loved you. I mean, I don’t think I ever have. I know my mother did, but I don’t know why I know that.”

Mi walked over and turned the top of a long tube. I hadn’t even realized that it was a speaker until I heard the quiet flute playing throughout the room. “That must be horrible for you.”

“No, what’s really horrible is when you don’t remember your kids, but yet you love them so hard, and now—” I paused while I thought about what the now was. I had no clue.

“And now you’re lost, but don’t worry. I’m going to help you. I truly believe that people come in and out of your life when you need them to. That’s the force we as humans don’t understand. Sometimes you just need to sink inside yourself and let it be. The answers will come.”

I smiled a sad smile and nodded, but truth be told, I had no idea what the hell she was talking about, just like the sparkling rocks that made her feel better. Okay…

“I’ll find you some clothes,” she said, head tilting to the side as she brushed past me.

I watched Mi walk out of the room and looked around with a smile. Observing the zen-like room and the many clay pots, I thought about my things. I had fifty-one dollars in that room and new clothes, but I knew with everything in me that I wouldn’t be going back to get them. My eyes shifted to the noise when I heard the door close, and then back to the clay pot. It was blue with tiny gray dots on the inside, a chrome ring around the top, and one small, silver dot on the outside. I wondered about the one dot and its beauty on the outside and set it back to the shelf, not even realizing I had picked it up. I centered the one lonely stone back to the middle, and turned to Nick.

“It’s a symbol of how your ego is your worst enemy.”

“Excuse me?” I questioned while turning to Nick, centering the one lonely stone back to the middle of the little pot.

“The one dot on the outside. It’s just as shiny as the rest of them, but it’s full of itself, too pretty to mingle with the dull dots.”

“Oh,” I said just like I had to Mi. Eccentric might have been an understatement. These people were eccentric on steroids. There wasn’t really a comeback that I could think of. How do you respond to something like that, I wondered.

Nick laughed and scratched his head. “Mi thinks all the rocks and pots symbolize something. She’s crazy in the head, but I love her, and I don’t want her involved in this.”

“In this what? You say it like there’s more to it than what it is. It’s just you hypnotizing me, trying to help me remember something about my sister.”

The expression on Nicks face changed to a condescending one, and then he stopped himself from saying something.

“What? Say it,” I ordered.

His only response was a deep breath and more lies. “Nothing, forget it.”

I argued with myself briefly, trying to toss out the trust card, say something about him hiding stuff, too. I didn’t say anything like that. Instead, I checked it off as me being paranoid again, thinking everyone was out to get me.

“I’m sorry for all the trouble, Nick. I really didn’t mean to get you or Mi involved in any of this. I don’t have anyone. Not one person. Do you have any idea how hard that is?”

Nick leaned a shoulder to the door frame and crossed his arms. “No, and I’m sorry. It’s just, well, Mi, she’s always getting me into stuff that I don’t want to do. Stuff like this that may or may not be dangerous. What if I put you out and you tell me that you’re a murderer or something? What if you tell me you’re the real Gabby, but you didn’t marry Paxton? What if you tell me you killed your sister to fill her shoes? What if—”

“Okay, okay, I get it, but I really don’t feel like that. I have the dreams, or sometimes I’ll see something that will trigger a quick vision of my past.”

“But which twin were you in those visions. Were you Gabby or were you Izzy?”

I had to think about that one for a second. “I was Gabby.”

“So you were Gabby after the switch? What about before?”

I had to think about that one, too. “I—I was Gabby. Oh, my God, Nick. I don’t know. I don’t feel like I was ever Izzy. Can you tell? Like if you hypnotized me?”

“No, I’m doing the night of the accident and that’s it. Hopefully you’ll get enough from that.”

I frowned and walked to the window. My fingers separated the bamboo blinds and I took a deep breath. “How will I know?”

“What do you mean?”

Looking across the road I counted over to my hotel room window, realizing I’d left the light on. “You’re going to hypnotize me. How will I know what I said? Will I remember?”

“I’ve never hypnotized anyone with amnesia. I have no idea what you’ll remember, but I will record everything. You can listen to it later.”

“Okay, that works.”

Nick dropped his arms and stood straight. “You can’t stay here. You can stay the night. That’s it.”

“Okay,” I nodded in agreement.

“I fixed you a hot, lavender bath. It’ll help relax you,” Mi bubbly said as she bounced right into Nick’s arms.

His long limbs wrapped around her and he kissed her head. “I’ll get things ready in here for you,” he offered.

I felt a quick adrenaline rush when I realized what he meant. “You’re going to do it now?”

“Yes, if I can. I’m not making any promises.”

“Okay,” I agreed as my heart beat loud in my chest with anticipation. So many what ifs ran through my mind, but I focused on the lavender bath. This was it. Finally, I would learn the truth.

I hoped.

Three

The hot water and scented suds did little to calm the jitter going on in my entire body. The bubbles literally felt like sharp needles piercing my skin, thousands of them. I got out feeling more tense than when I had gotten in. What if it didn’t work? What if I couldn’t relax enough to go under? I couldn’t even relax enough to soak in an amazing tub. One of those old ones with the claw feet, and the reclining position that should have made me want to sleep.

Doubt filled my mind as I dried myself off and slipped on the soft cotton short set. I laughed at my reflection and the purple monsters covering the pink material. I barely knew Mi, but I could definitely see her in funny pajamas.

I walked softly across the hardwood floor. It wasn’t really eavesdropping per say, I just slowed my pace a little and listened to Nick and Mi bicker.

“Mi, I don’t need all of this to put her under,” Nick complained.

“It’s not for you. It’s for Gabby. I want her to feel relaxed and comfortable.”

“What am I going to do with you, Mi? You drive me crazy. I don’t even like you.”

My feet stopped when I heard kissing. “You’re going to keep me because you love me. That’s what you’re going to do with me, and you’re going to help this girl because it’s the right thing to do. Karma will thank you. I promise.”

“I’d rather you thank me.”

More kissing.

“Stop or I’m going to thank you right now.”

I smiled at their playfulness, feeling a longing for a man who didn’t long back. Stupid, that’s what I was.

“Will you at least turn that stupid fountain off? It makes me have to pee.”

“No, but you can turn it off if you can put her under, and find out what happened to her.” The if in Mi’s words were spoken with doubt, a hidden dare directed toward Nick.

“You know I’m a psychiatrist, right? You can’t manipulate me into a bet.”

“Fine, I’ll bet you a blowjob you can’t find out what happened that night.”

Great. Just what I needed. I moved my feet across the hardwood and interrupted them, clearing my throat. “Thanks, Mi. No pressure or anything,” I said as I joined them in the candle lit room. A blue clay pot the size of a baby pool sat on my left. Filled with turquoise blue water, white Lotus flowers floated alongside lavender scented candles. I had to admit, it did feel like walking into the Dali Lama’s room. A peaceful serenity covered me with a sense of wellbeing. Maybe Mi wasn’t as crazy as she seemed. Maybe Mi was on to something. The sound of the wind blowing, birds singing in a distance, and ocean water, lapping the beach was heard through an amazing surround sound. Other than the flickering candles and a blue light illuminating from the bottom of a floating chase, the room was dark.

Mi laughed at my comment, and Nick’s face turned five shades of red. “Let’s get this over with. Mi thinks she has to get you relaxed first and then I will take over. You’ll hear me take over whenever she tells me I’m allowed to.” Nick grunted when Mi elbowed him right in the gut.

“You’re being mean. You always gotta have the credit.”

I wasn’t sure whether Nick was pussy whipped or what, but he was right quick to stand up and apologize. Wow, Paxton would have never done that. “I’m sorry, Mi. I didn’t mean to make you feel less than me. Of course what you do helps.”

Mi stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him. “You’re forgiven. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Continue on with your meddling,” Nick said through a smile.

Mi spun from his arms and directed me on what to do. “Okay, Gabby, lay down on the chase and get comfortable. You’re going to hear and feel different things around you. Keep your eyes closed and focus on my words and your senses. That’s it.”

“Shouldn’t I focus on my twin, or the night I wrecked?” I wasn’t sure where I had learned my information from, but I knew I’d been told somewhere along the line. Your dreams were directed by the last thing on your mind when you fell asleep. Although I didn’t really have proof, I believed that myth.

“Lord, no. That’s the last thing you want to think about. I want you to forget everything. I don’t want you to focus on anything but my voice. Your senses will react on their own if you give them time.”

The curvy chase lounge moved, swinging back when I sat. I gasped and my body instantly brought me back to my feet when it felt like I was going to fall.

“Don’t worry, it’ll hold you. It holds Nick.”

“You calling me fat?” Nick questioned as I sat back to the balanced bed, carefully that time. The camera in the corner blinked a red light, on and off, and I knew that’s how I would get my information. Nick wouldn’t be volunteering anything other than his time. I was cool with that.

Mi ignored him with words, but I didn’t look to see if she spoke a hidden language to him with her expression. The bed was super comfortable. It curved in a recliner position and I snuggled right in, crossing one foot over the other. My fingers laced together over my chest and I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to give up control.

“Put your hands at your sides and uncross your legs. You want all your chakras lined up so they can work together.”

“My what?” I questioned. I did look at her that time. I looked at her like she was crazy. She was crazy. This whole thing was crazy, but my only hope.

“Just ignore that. People like you are too busy trying to be what everyone else wants them to be instead of finding it from within. You wouldn’t understand.”

Nope. Not touching that one. I rested my head back to the padded head and did as I was directed.

“Good, now just relax with a couple deep breaths. In—and—out. In—and—out. You’re going to hear some things going on around you. This room is equipped to channel your relaxing qualities. Everything you will experience will feel real. You only need to steer your mind where I tell you. If another thought comes into your mind, you can simply say the phrase ‘I am at peace’. Focus on my voice. Got it?” Mi explained, questioning my ability to keep up.

I sucked in my bottom lip to keep from laughing. I couldn’t help it. It was that silly.

“Laughing is a normal reaction. It’s your inner self-questioning your beliefs. Your subconscious doesn’t understand this. You’ve never given it permission. Do you need to laugh?”

I tried. I tried with everything in me to hold it in. I knew I was supposed to be serious. I was serious. This was just, I don’t even know what that was. My lips sputtered first and then it just came out. I laughed hard enough to have tears. “I’m sorry, Mi. I’m trying to be somber.”

“It’s okay. I get this reaction a lot from newbies.”

“Newbies? You do this often?” I questioned with one eye opened. I took a deep breath and closed both eyes again.

“I teach a meditation class here on Thursday nights. Maybe you could come sometime.”

“Yeah, sure,” I agreed with little sincerity. The picture of little foreign girls with slanted eyes crossed my mind. All sitting Indian style, humming ohms and ahhs.

Mi directed me to take a couple more breaths, getting me ready to drift off. I did as I was told, focused on her words and the atmosphere around me. My ears were the first thing alerted. The sound of the ocean was right there. Mi’s voice became softer and my senses became louder, on high alert. I repeated the words ‘I am at peace’ with deep breaths like she told me to do. I paid close attention when she told me what to feel, and as crazy as it sounded, I felt them.

“Imagine you’re walking across soft grass, but this is enchanted grass. It’s soft, like baby powder. Walk to the waves. A magnificent private island is awaiting your arrival.”

I didn’t even feel the need to laugh that time, I sort of felt like I was walking on baby powder. When Mi told me to take another deep breath and notice the change in the air, I did. It really did feel pure and full of positive energy as I breathed the magical air. It was at that moment that I understood everything my mother felt. This was the place she was constantly telling her Clydes to never lose. I wondered briefly when I lost it, and then repeated the phrase. I am at peace.

Mi walked me all the way to a beach with sand softer than the grass, to a mystic beach with the same flowers and candles that were floating in the clay pot. The sound of water became closer and closer, the relaxing breeze brushed across my skin, and the scent of harmony filled my nose. Everything was the way it should be. Calm with a serene feel, everything from the warm sun on my face, to the stresses being delivered from my body with an imaginary, magic sun. Positive energy from the hot planet replaced all the fear, the anxiety, and the doubt. By the time I heard Nick’s voice take over, I was in a state of a strange place. A peace like I had never felt before.

“Gabby, can you hear me?” Nick quietly asked.

“Yes,” I replied in faraway tone.

“Good, remember that you’re always in control. Anytime you feel like it’s too much, remember you can wake up. All you have to do is open your eyes.”

I didn’t respond with words. I was too deep into the sound of the waves, the sun warming my skin, and the calm I felt through my entire body. Even my breathing was effortless.

“I’m going to make a few suggestions while I count you down. You’re going to be in a deep, deep sleep, but you’re always in control.”

I listened to everything going on around me, but Nick’s voice was the one I focused on most. Nick got to seven, explaining that when it was time for me to wake up, he would count me backward again, but I didn’t have to wake up. He said that my conscious would direct me in what to do, whether I chose to sleep or wake up. Honestly, I think I was out when I heard the number five. I would have to say Mi’s technique did wonders for Nick’s job. It did enhance it, and made it easier for me to give over my mind. I didn’t remember anything after that. I was out. Totally out.

~~

The warm sun hit my face, a straight line right across the bridge of my nose. I squeezed my eyes shut from the bright light and tried to comprehend my state. Was I still out? Was this the real sun or Mi’s imaginary one? I opened my eyes to the shiny slit in the bamboo shades, feeling extremely rested. Maybe for the first time in my life. My floating bed swayed when I moved my head, seeing the same room I’d fallen asleep in.

“Good morning. Do you like oatmeal?”

I looked to Mi, sitting in what I knew to be the meditation pose, feet awkwardly crossed over her legs in the middle of a round rug. Her hands rested on her knees and her fingers formed an O.

I cleared my throat before speaking. “Did it work, Mi? Did I get hypnotized?”

“Oh yeah. It worked.”

“Did I tell him? About the accident? About my sister?”

“Yes, you did. Come on. I made tea. There’s a new toothbrush on the counter for you.”

“Is it bad? Am I a bad person, Mi?”

Mi tilted her head to the side and smiled. “Do you think you’re a bad person?”

“I mean, I guess I don’t feel like I’m bad. I would never intentionally hurt anyone.”

“You’re not a bad person, Gabby. Far from it. You can watch it while you eat breakfast. I’m going to shower, and then we’ll go find this car.”

I followed Mi out, asking questions to her back while my mind did summersaults. “Izzy’s car? Don’t you think we should try to get a hold of the Walkers? They have to know something.”

“Watch the video first. I’ll be back.”

Mi disappeared with no information. She stepped out, avoiding my questions, and leaving me. Good hygiene came second. The hot tea and the laptop on the counter came first. My teeth could wait. I sipped the sassafras tea as my fingers slid across the keypad, and spit it in the sink, gagging with disgust. I rinsed my cup and filled it with milk, swearing the tea had cayenne pepper in it. Holy smokes. Who on earth puts cayenne pepper in tea? The normal pouch of black coffee caught my eye by the coffee pot, and I made myself at home, fixing a cup of normal morning wake up. I wasn’t sure Mi and I could be friends. She was too damn weird for my blood.

My eyes went to the sound of the meditating room on the screen when I heard the same peaceful music from the night before. I fixed my cup of coffee with one sugar and a splash of cream while I listened to the part I remembered. I was right. I stopped replying by the time Nick had gotten to five. My head dropped to the side and my body relaxed into the floating bed. My hair blew with an oscillating fan. I snorted while I sipped my coffee. And here I thought that was an imaginary breeze. It was a fan. Mi covered me with the same soft blanket I’d woken up with and listened to Nick work a miracle.

“Gabby, can you hear me,” Nick asked, quietly.

“Yes,” I slurred.

“Can you tell me what you were doing the morning you left your house before your accident? Think about your surroundings, sounds, people, a television show, anything that will help your subconscious to remember. Can you do that, Gabby?”

“Yes, I was at home with the girls. Paxton was working from home because of the storm.”

“The storm? Tell me about the storm, Gabby.”

“It was all over the news, a tropical storm, heading right toward us. Paxton was anxious all morning listening to the weather. We were going to leave if it didn’t change courses or die down.”

Nick spoke in a low, hypnotic tone while my voice sounded like I was drunk, a slur spoken slowly. “What happened next, Gabby? Do you remember leaving your house?”

“Yes, I was with my girls. We were watching the sky for the impending storm. I was going to take them with me, but Paxton wouldn’t let me.”

“Where did you go, Gabby?”

I squirmed a little, causing the swinging bed to move when I replied. “I needed to get a few things from the store. A ten-minute trip.”

“What happened next?”

“Paxton bribed them with ice cream and I went to the store.”

“What store did you go to?”

My eyes frowned while my mind thought about it. “I don’t remember.”

“Do you remember meeting your sister? Was she in the store?”

“No,” I replied while my head once again relaxed back to a sleeping position. “She followed me. She was behind me, an old car with strange plates. I turned down a couple streets when I realized who it was. My heart was beating a million miles a minute when I pulled into the bank parking lot.”

“What was your reaction to seeing her?”

“It was—it was strange. At first I didn’t know whether to call her Izzy or Gabby. She called me Gabby first and from that moment on I referred to her as Izzy. I knew we would end up talking about it, about us switching places and all.”

“I’m listening, tell me what happened next, Gabby.”

“We talked about our mother, our crazy mother,” I laughed. “I drove further and further away from my house, ignoring the calls from my husband. I knew he would be angry with me. I had never done anything that big to defy him before, but I couldn’t stop. It felt so good to see her, to talk to her. I couldn’t believe it. She was there. My Clyde. She was right there.”

“Your Clyde? What is your Clyde?” Nick questioned, still using the same dramatic tone.

I explained my mother’s name, Jonnie, and the way she used to introduce us as Jonnie and her Clydes. My voice sounded so happy, speaking of my mom and sister with great love and admiration.

“The wind started to pick up after a bit, but again I ignored it. I wasn’t scared at all, not even of Paxton. My time with my sister meant more to me than Paxton’s wrath and I refrained from listening to my gut. I kept going until we were on a back road. Izzy went first. It was something we used to do with our mom. She sat on the windowsill first, and I followed, driving with my feet, just like my mom used to do. We were barely moving, nothing felt unsafe at all. I had it all under control until I didn’t. I saw the turn up ahead in plenty of time. It all happened so fast after that. My dress was caught on something. I couldn’t reach the pedals. I screamed for Izzy but it was too late. She grabbed the wheel, midair. Our eyes met and I blacked out, hearing the noise in slow motion echoing all around. The sound of metal crunching as my car rolled over the embankment. I thought about one thing before darkness took over.”

“What did you think about, Gabby.”

“My Clydes,” I cried. A tear slid down my face and I wiped it away with the back of my hand. “I thought about leaving Rowan and Phi. They wouldn’t understand this. They needed me.”

Silence filled the air and I continued, feeling every bit of pain I felt that day. “The next thing I remembered was the rain and the wind. My eyes opened to darkness, but not a night time darkness. This was an overcast with heavy clouds, spilling out rain. I had no idea how long I had been there, or what happened. A raging river flowed, rapidly by, extremely close to me. It wasn’t until the lightening lit the sky that I saw Izzy. Her head was to the side and her leg was in an awkward position above her head.

I assessed my own injuries not really feeling anything at all before I called out for her. “Izzy? Izzy can you hear me?”

She didn’t move. One leg was pinned inside the car at her waist and her hair covered her face. I called her name over and over and then I cried. Thirteen years and it was all over in an instant. Just like that, my twin was taken from me again.

“Gabby?” I heard in a gurgle. “Gabby? Where are you?”

“Oh, God, Izzy. I’m right here. Are you okay?”

“I don’t think so. I can’t see, Gabby.”

“That’s because your face is covered, Izzy. It’s just your hair. You’re going to be okay. Someone is going to find us. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“Gabby, listen to me. I came for a reason. I need your help.”

“Okay, I’ll help you any way I can. Just stay with me.”

I heard more gurgling and then the sound of her getting sick. “Remember when you asked me if I had a family? I lied. I do, Gabby. He’s almost five.”

I didn’t understand why she would lie to me about having a child. I didn’t understand it at all. I talked about my girls more than anything. Even to total strangers. “Okay, where is he? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think I only came for your help. I haven’t always been the best mom, but I’m clean for the first time in over a year, and he’s all I think about. You have to go get him, Gabby. Please go get him.”

“Get him from where?”

Izzy took a deep breath and let it out with a painful moan. My breath caught deep in my chest, waiting for her to speak, praying that every word she spoke wasn’t the last one.

“He’s in a foster home. I got messed up with some bad people and made some horrible choices. I lost my—”

I hated that silence. “Lost your what, Izzy? Izzy?”

“I lost my home, my business, and my son. I swear I would have found you sooner if I could have. This isn’t just about Vander. I love you. I’ve thought about you every day for the last thirteen years.” Izzy stopped talking and coughed, choking between words.