Текст книги "Oblivion"

Автор книги: Jessica Wood

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 11 страниц)

“But what if you get a high school girlfriend?” I asked tentatively. “She might not want you to hang out with me. Sandy said that you’d have a girlfriend soon.”

“Don’t listen to my sister. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“But she’s a year older than you. She’s already in high school.”

“I won’t have a high school girlfriend.”

“Really?” I didn’t believe him, and I felt a numbing pain tighten my chest.

“I won’t,” he held my gaze, “because I already have one.”

The moonlight shimmered against his eyes as he looked at me. I wasn’t sure why but I felt nervous. He’d never looked at me this way before.

“Who’s your girlfriend?” I was scared to know the answer. Was it Mary Jane from next door? Or Susie from down the street? Or was it the pretty girl from his eighth grade class, the one that looked like she could be on the cover of the magazine, Seventeen?

Suddenly, before I knew what was happening, he leaned his face toward me and kissed me.

I felt a rush of happiness run through my body as I moved my lips to kiss him back. His soft lips were sweet and gentle as they explored mine, and I felt my heart soar with glee as he gave me the answer to his question.

He was right, this place was special, and it did make me happy. This was where I experienced my first kiss.

The impact of the grassy field against my feet brought me back to the present. I blinked, trying to let my newest memory sink in. I touched my lips, reveling in the memory of the two kisses I’d just experienced.

“Did you have fun?” Ethan ran to my side as Carlos removed my harness from his gear.

I nodded, still unable to talk. Unable to forget the intensity of our mid-free fall kiss, my eyes stole a lingering glance at his full lips.

“So you survived.” Ethan pulled me into his arms, and I gladly allowed myself to sink into his warm, hard, and inviting chest as his arms seemed to engulf me.

“This moment deserves a picture,” he said when he pulled away. “Carlos, do you mind taking a picture of us.” He took out his phone and handed it to Carlos who was gathering up the gear.

“No problem.”

“Goofy or serious picture?” he asked me.

I laughed. “Goofy.”

“Good call.”

After we made our silly faces for the picture, Carlos handed the phone back to Ethan and gathered up his gear. “I’ll be inside if you guys need me,” Carlos said as he walked away.

“Thanks, Carlos,” Ethan and I said in unison as we watched him go.

“So how was that for five minutes of your life?” Ethan beamed at me.

“That was just five minutes?”

He nodded with a laugh. “Yup. It’s about sixty seconds of free fall and four minutes in the air once the parachute is deployed.”

“It was really amazing. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more alive than I had during the free fall.” I beamed up at him and felt my stomach flip.

“Was that before or after you kissed me?” He flashed me a devious grin.

“For the record, you kissed me. Not the other way around.” I scrunched my nose and made a face at him.

He chuckled. “If believing that helps you sleep better at night, then let’s go with that story.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“Now let’s not fight on our birthdays.” He swung his arm over my shoulder and leaned down and kissed my forehead. I looked up at him and smiled, and for a moment, I thought he’d kiss me again.

But he didn’t. He just looked down at me with a glowing smile. “Are you hungry? I’ll take you to one of my favorite restaurants in Philly.”

“Okay. That sounds great.” Happiness filled me as I met his deep gaze, and I knew I couldn’t deny the seriousness of my feelings for this man anymore. With his arm over my shoulder, I sank deeper into his chest and wrapped my arm behind his back as we walked to his bike in the parking lot.

There was an undeniable energy between us, and I felt my feelings for him deepen and intensify with every passing minute I was with him. I smiled at how intimate this simple moment between us felt, and I wondered if he felt the same way. And as I stole a glance up at him, I realized that there was nothing else I wanted more than for him to feel the same way.

***

“Get ready to take a bite out of the best pizza you’ll ever eat.” There was a gleam of excitement in Ethan’s eyes as the waitress brought by the Asparago pizza for us.

I eyed with curiosity the rustic thin crust pizza that had just came out of the wood-burning oven.

Sensing my hesitation, Ethan said, “So this place is known for this pizza. It has their secret white sauce, shaved asparagus, cured pork, mozzarella, and a truffled farm egg in the middle. During the winter and early spring time, their menu changes and they have the Uovo pizza, which is this except it’s shaved Brussels sprouts instead of asparagus.”

As I looked at him in amazement at how much he knew about this pizza, my mind couldn’t stop thinking of one funny thought. “So what’s with you and eggs?” I asked, trying to stifle back a giggle.

“What do you mean?” he asked with boyish smile.

“Well you took me to Paesano’s where you raved about the beef brisket sandwich with the fried egg in it. And now we’re here at Barbuzzo and there’s a farm egg in the middle of the pizza.”

His smile turned into laughter. “That’s pretty funny. I’d never made that connection. I guess you can say I’m pretty egg-cited about eggs, eh?”

He tried to stare at me with a straight face while I raised an eye brow, but the second our eyes locked, we both burst out in a fit of laughter.

“You know something? You are so different from my first impression of you.”

“Oh yeah?” There was a glint of amusement in his voice. “What’s changed about me?”

“Well for one, you’re not annoying,” I teased.

“Ouch!” He feigned a hurt expression.

“I’m teasing. But seriously, you were pretty cocky and aggressive when I first met you. Even when I told you I had a fiancé, that didn’t seem to bother you. So in the beginning, I thought you might be some sleazy guy looking for an opportunity he could take advantage of.”

He nodded his head slowly as if he was taking in my observation of him. “And now?”

I smiled and took a bite of the pizza, trying to stall for time. I knew I was starting to like Ethan, but I wasn’t sure how much of my feelings I should admit to him. I wasn’t sure if he had serious feelings for me. Since we left Free Fall Adventures, neither one of us had brought up the fact that we’d shared that spontaneous, passionate kiss in the air. It was almost as if what happened up in the air, stayed up in the air.

There was yet another reason I was hesitant to be the first to reveal my feelings. I looked down at the engagement ring that seemed to weigh down my left ring finger and my stomach twisted with guilt. I had cheated on Connor. There was no denying that fact. I had decided to hang out with Ethan today, knowing deep down that there was nothing platonic about our relationship. Even though I hadn’t initiated the kiss with Ethan, I hadn’t stopped it. Instead I enjoyed it and had kissed him back. What was worse was I knew I wanted more than just a kiss.

I knew things were heading in the wrong direction with Connor, and I was pretty sure that I would break off our engagement when I had a chance to talk to him in person. But the problem was, I hadn’t done that yet. I was still his fiancée, and I had allowed myself to become involved with Ethan before I had ended things with Connor.

“Earth to Liv.” Ethan’s voice broke through my thoughts and I looked up at him.

“Oh. I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

For a brief second, he looked at me quizzically before answering my question. “I was just asking you how you thought I’d change since your first impression of me.”

“Oh right.” I met his gaze with a small smile. “Well, I don’t think you’re the cocky, bad boy type that you had initially let on. You’re actually pretty down to earth and sweet. You have a soft side under the hard exterior you try to project.”

“Wow, you make me sound like a pussy.” He frowned and then laughed.

I joined in his laughter and shrugged. “Nothing wrong with that. I think it’s endearing.”

He chuckled. “I guess I can live with that.”

“Can I ask you something?”

He leaned across the table and smiled. “Ask away.”

“Why are you still single?”

“Because I’m training to be a priest.” He could barely finish his sentence before he started laughing.

“Ha ha, very funny,” I said sarcastically. “Seriously, have you ever been in love before?” I knew I was prying, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to know more about him.

He met my gaze and I saw a warmth in his dark eyes as his face became more serious.

“Yes, I have.”

His response piqued my interest. “Tell me about her.”

“Well I had someone in my life once. She was my sunshine—the beacon to everything that was wonderful in my life. She was my best friend, my first kiss, my first love.”

“What happened to her?”

There was a wistful smile on his face as he thought of her, and I felt a pang of jealousy ripple through me.

“She moved away before I had a chance to tell her how I felt about her. We had promised to write and keep in touch, but as the weeks turned into months, months turned into years, her emails, calls, and texts decreased until there were no more. Over time, she had forgotten about me.”

There was a pained expression on his face and I felt my heart go out to him. From the way his face twisted in anguish, I knew he had lost her somehow. I could see the regret in his eyes. I could see the pain on his face. I could feel the yearning in his heart for her.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Before I could ask him more questions, the waitress came to our table with a birthday cake. Several dozen thin tapered candles were lit up on top of the cake as she placed the cake between me and Ethan.

“Did you do this?” I asked him in surprise.

“Happy birthday, Liv.” He smiled at me in a way that brought tears in my eyes.

“When did you get a chance to do this?”

“I ordered the cake before I picked you up earlier today, and then had it sent to Barbuzzo before you landed from your dive.”

“That’s so sweet of you.” I beamed at him.

“Don’t forget to make a wish before you blow out the candles,” he urged.

“But it’s both our birthdays today. We should both make a wish and blow out the candles.”

He smiled. “You can have my wish.”

I frowned. “But that’s not how it works.”

He laughed. “Okay, fine. I wish you happiness. I wish that you will quickly regain all your memories.”

My heart melted at his words and as we blew out the candles together, I knew that he was the guy I wanted to be with. He was the person I didn’t want to live without.

***

Two hours later, Ethan had pulled up in front of my place. He had invited me to stay with him tonight, but as much as I had wanted to take him up on that offer, it didn’t feel right when I was still wearing Connor’s ring.

“Are you sure you want to stay here tonight?” Ethan asked one more time as he got off his bike and helped me remove my helmet.

I nodded but felt my self-control waver as I looked into his deep captivating eyes.

Before I could get off the bike, he leaned forward and pressed my body down against the seat of his bike, and kissed me with a hard and rough hunger that left me gasping for air.

“God, I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” he groaned as he pulled away to catch his breath.

Before I could respond, his lips recaptured mine, this time more demanding and urgent as his tongue traced my lips before it plunged inside me to explore the recesses of my mouth. As our kiss deepened, the world around us seemed to disappear and all I could think of was the way his lips seduced and caressed mine, sending ripples of desire to run down my body and collect in intensity between my legs.

Then I felt his rough strong hand move down my body, and my skin prickled in anticipation of his touch. I gasped with pleasure as his lips left mine to nibble at my earlobe. His hot breath teased my neck as he whispered in a low, ragged voice, “Let me help you remember one thing you might have forgotten.” His words sent a shiver down my spine as his hand disappeared beneath my skirt and up between my legs.

I tried to think through my almost unbearable need for him to be inside me. “I—I shouldn’t do this right now,” I whimpered as my back arched up against his hand. “I—I’m still engaged.”

“To a man you can’t even remember, a man who’s not even here to celebrate your birthday tonight,” he reminded me. “So in my fucking book, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t deserve you.” His fingers pushed aside my panties and moved along my opening. “What really matters,”—he entered me with two fingers, causing me to gasp in pleasure—“is how wet I’m making you right now.”

A part of me wanted to resist him and push him away, but my body refused to listen to my head. I threw my head back in intense pleasure as my hips rocked in rhythm with his fingers as they plunged in and out of my wetness, each time deeper and faster than the last.

Our eyes locked and when I saw the raw desire in his eyes, all I wanted was to feel him inside of me. “I want you to fuck me,” I panted.

“Tonight’s all about you, baby.” I could hear the restraint in his ragged voice as he watched me writhe in the throes of ecstasy. “I want you to come like you’ve never come before.”

Suddenly, I cried out for release as I felt his fingers curl inside me and hit my G-stop.

“Oh God…” My body began to quiver and my eyes fluttered uncontrollably as I finally approached my climax.

“That’s it, baby. Come for me. Come for me hard,” he groaned in a raspy voice. “I want to feel your pussy clench onto my fingers for dear life.”

Finally, I felt my release spasm down my body as I involuntarily tightened around his fingers in time with the spasms.

“God, you’re so fucking sexy, Liv,” he groaned as he slowly licked his wet fingers, savoring every drop of me.

“I changed my mind. I want you to take me home. I want you to make love to me tonight.”

A devious smirk spread across his face and his eyes were dark with need. “No, not tonight,” he finally said through gritted teeth.

“Why not?” I looked at him in confusion.

“Because you’re right. You’re still engaged to him. You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now.” He grabbed my hand and pressed it against his jeans. I inhaled sharply as I felt his rock hard erection pushing against his jeans. “But, when I fuck you, when I make love to you, I want all of you and I want you completely to myself.”

With more restraint than I thought was possible for a man, I watched Ethan straighten up.

“I’m going to talk to Connor when he gets home,” I reassured him. I got up from the bike and grabbed his hand. “I’m going to end our engagement.”

As we kissed good night, my heart ached at the thought of leaving him. I wasn’t sure how I had suddenly fallen so deep down the rabbit hole, but I knew I had reached a point of no return. I couldn’t explain it, but there was something about this man that caused every hair on my body to stand up in excitement when I was around him. He was able to lift me away from the dense-foggy oblivion that weighed me down, and made me feel more alive and free than I could remember. He was the key to my past. I didn’t know how I knew it, but I just did.

CHAPTER N INE

I pushed against the glass door that led out into the darkness. Tears streamed down my face at how quickly tonight had turned upside down. I could hear the happy chatter from our engagement party in the main hall before it was absorbed by the silence of the night as the door shut behind me.

I ran as fast as my feet could take me in my jeweled Yves Saint Laurent stilettos. Maybe I should stop wearing heels all the time, I thought as I wished for my lone pair of tennis shoes that were collecting dust in my walk-in closet.

But this didn’t slow me down. I wanted to get out of here. It was the last place I wanted to be. 

“Liv!” I heard a familiar male voice call after me.

The sound of his voice pushed me to move faster. I pulled up the jewel-encrusted blush-pink evening gown that weighed down on my body and restricted my movement. The air was bitter cold and cutting, but the adrenaline that coursed inside seemed to shelter me from the cold like a protective blanket. I didn’t have to turn around to know who that was. All my senses went into overdrive as I continued to move.

“Liv!” he called after me again, this time closer than before.

I stopped briefly and turned to see him about fifty yards away at the entrance of the building.

His wide eyes were filled with guilt and alarm, frozen against the stark-white complexion of his face.

It was Co nnor in the Tom Ford tuxedo I had bought for him for our engagement party.

“Liv! Please stop!” He ran toward me, closing distance between us. For that brief moment, our eyes locked and I knew he wasn’t the man I had fallen in love with. This man was a complete stranger to me, someone I didn’t know anything about.

“Get away from me, Connor!” I screamed as I turned away from him and started to run again.

“Look out!” I heard him yell out.

But it was too late. Suddenly, I saw two bright, blinding headlights coming toward me at high speed. The sharp screeching of car tires filled the air, drowning out all other noise. I felt the impact of cold metal against my body as I was lifelessly flung sideways against the solid pavement.

I tried to get up from the ground, but winced as excruciating pain shot through every nerve in my body. As my gaze fell on the fresh blood that covered my hands, I felt my eyelids grow heavy. Then the lights that illuminated the city night outside of the museum faded into the empty, black oblivion.

I woke up in a pool of cold sweat. I looked over to Connor’s side of the bed and let out a sigh of relief to see that he wasn’t there. I drew in several deep intakes of breaths as I tried to settle my nerves. Questions swirled in my head as I tried to understand the new pieces of this flashback. Why did Connor feel like a stranger to me when I’d seen him? Why didn’t I think he was the man I’d fallen in love with?

As I pondered these questions, I felt reassured that I was making the right decision to end things with Connor. I don’t know what had happened that night of my accident, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that Connor was keeping something from me.

Just then, my phone rang. It was Anna.

“Hi, Anna.”

“Hey, Birthday Girl! How was your day yesterday?”

It wasn’t until then that I realized so much has happened in the last twenty-four hours since I’d talked to Anna. I decided to tell her everything that’d happened with Connor recently as well as my day with Ethan. As sure as I felt about my decision to end my engagement with Connor, it felt nice to confide in someone who not only knew the post-accident me, but also the me before I had lost my memories.

“Wow, I can’t believe this. Are you serious?” She asked after I told her everything, including my flashback this morning. “That doesn’t sound like Connor.”

“It doesn’t?” Her doubt made me feel uneasy and a part of me wondered if I was being too rash in deciding to end things with Connor.

“Well actually…to be honest, I don’t know him that well.”

Her comment surprised me. “What do you mean?”

“Well to me, he was always my boss, and the limited interactions I’d had with him outside of the workplace, you were always there. So come to think of it, I’d never really had too many real conversations with him that went beyond surface level niceties.”

“How did you know I loved him then?” I thought back to my first conversation with Anna after my coma when she had described how amazing my relationship had been with Connor.

“Hmmm. Well, I guess because you guys were always together. For lack of a better word, you were both workaholics. When I first met you, I knew you were still struggling with the loss of your mom, so outside of your long hours at work, you’d always wanted to go out and party. You didn’t seem to want to be alone. But when you started dating Connor, you seemed to eat, live, and breathe Brady Global, Inc. Besides the occasional times we met up and went out, all your time seemed to be spent with Connor or on work—and usually those two together.”

“So you’re saying, you thought I was happy and in love because I had devoted all my time into Connor and his company?”

“Well…if you put it that way, it doesn’t sound like a great relationship after all.” She paused before adding. “But you did seem happy. Sometimes I wondered if you felt lost after losing your mom, and Connor gave you purpose. His dedication to his company became your own, and in some way, it seemed to be what you needed at the time.”

I thought about Anna’s words and felt confused again. I had been the one that had changed since my coma. The one thing that had bonded me and Connor was no longer there. I had no desire to work as much as Connor did. I wanted to live my life and explore the world around me.

“What do you think I should do, Anna?”

“Well, that depends on how you feel now. Tell me how you feel about Connor and Ethan. What does your gut tell you?”

“Well, I still think Connor is caring, patient, and generous. But his biggest flaw is his devotion to his company. In the last week or so, I’ve realized that with Connor, I feel like I will always be second best to his company. Anytime he needed to choose between me and Brady Global, I’d always been the loser.”

“And with Ethan?”

“It’s completely different when I’m with Ethan. I feel like when he’s there with me, he’s really there with me, and present at that moment. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I’m the only thing that matters. But I also haven’t known Ethan for that long. What if what we have is just an infatuation that will die out after a few months?”

“Liv, I think you already know your answer. Just follow your heart. It will never lead you astray. Connor and Ethan sound like they’re completely different guys. Even though you had a great rewarding relationship with Connor, and in some ways, that feels comfortable to you, don’t miss out on the rare chance of having a real, can’t-live-without-each-other love because you’re scared of it and it feels less certain and secure.”

I mulled over Anna’s advice and realized she was right. Life wasn’t about playing it safe. It was about following one’s heart. And my heart was telling me that I had to end things with Connor.