Текст книги "Oblivion"

Автор книги: Jessica Wood

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 11 страниц)

CHAPTE R FIVE

I was so consumed with my thoughts on my walk home that I found myself approaching the front door of the mansion before I even realized it.

Jim greeted me at the door when I walked in. “Good evening, Ms. Stuart. Mr. Brady informed me that you would be out shopping this evening. I was prepared to pick you up from wherever you were if you had called me.”

I managed a small polite smile. “Thank you for being available, Jim. It’s a nice, cool night for June, so I wanted to walk home and enjoy the refreshing evening air.”

“Very well, Ms. Stuart. It has indeed been a brisk night. The weather report says that a storm is rolling in.”

“I’m glad I got home in time then.” I looked out the window and saw large threatening clusters of shadowy clouds approaching from the distant horizon.

“Indeed. I don’t believe Mr. Brady would’ve been very pleased with me if you had been caught in the rain under my watch.”

His watch? His choice of words put me on the defensive.

“Don’t worry, Jim. I can take care of myself. I wouldn’t say anything to Connor that would negatively affect you.”

“Thank you, Ms. Stuart. I’m just glad that you arrived home safely. Now will you require my assistance for the remainder of your evening?”

I shook my head. “No. Thank you, Jim. Have a good evening.”

Jim nodded before retiring to his room down the hall on the opposite side of the mansion. When I heard his door close behind him, I let out a deep sigh.

After I put away Connor’s leftover steak in the fridge, I went to change into a casual tee and sweats. As I walked back out into the living room, my mind immediately recoiled back to him and what had happened this evening. I felt confused and torn as various feelings battled each other inside me. I couldn’t deny being disappointed by how Connor had cut our dinner date short for work. Yet, I knew there were also other facts that I couldn’t deny. After all that had happened in the last few weeks, Connor had stood by my side. He was at the hospital every day while I was in the coma and during my recovery after I woke up. He had been understanding and patient when I treated him like a stranger, flinching when he touched me. He had been generous and loving, showing me time and time again that I was in his thoughts.

My hand reached for the emerald, diamond pendant, and I realized that I needed to reciprocate that same understanding and patience to Connor during this adjustment period between us. Things hadn’t been exactly easy for him either. I had a feeling that if I hadn’t lost my memory, I would probably be at work with Connor at this very moment, as his partner-in-crime standing beside him, helping him through this crisis.

But I wasn’t there, and I wasn’t his partner-in-crime.

Instead, I was something he had to worry about and care for. I was home, living in this extravagant house that his hard work had paid for, being upset with him because a work crisis had interfered with our dinner plans. He wasn’t the one that had changed. I was the one that’d changed. I had forgotten everything that had once been important to me.

Just then, the scampering of tiny paws against the hardwood floor caught my attention. The next thing I knew, Scooter jumped up against my leg, demanding my undivided attention.

“Hi Scooter.”

He barked at me as if asking why Connor hadn’t come back with me.

“Connor had to go to work for a little bit, but guess what he got you today?” I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

Scooter moved around me with excitement, somehow sensing that something special was in store for him. I took the steak out of the box and put it on a plate. I laughed as Scooter barked impatiently as he circled around me.

“Here you go buddy.” I crouched down and placed the plate on the floor in front of him and watched him devour the steak. “You’re so spoiled, Scooter. Do you know that?” He ignored me as all of his attention was directed on the meat in between his teeth.

It took Scooter less than two minutes to polish the plate clean, leaving no trace of what had been there moments ago.

“That was good, huh?” I scratched Scooter’s forehead as he panted with excitement. I giggled as he licked my nose, as if to thank me for the treat he had just enjoyed. “Eww, slobber, Scooter.” I laughed as I wiped my face with the back of my hand.

“Good evening, Ms. Stuart,” came Debra’s voice. I looked up to find her walking into the kitchen.

“Hi, Debra. Remember what we agreed on?” I flashed her a friendly smile.

“Good evening, Liv.” Her voice was soft and uncertain as her eyes scanned the room to verify that Connor wasn’t hiding in some dark corner. “It’s time for Scooter’s walk.” She held up the leash in her hand and walked over to Scooter.

“Actually, I’d love to take him for a walk.” I reached out my hand for the leash. “I know how much Connor loves this precious dog, and it looks like he’s finally starting to like me.”

“Are you sure?”

I offered her a reassuring smile. “Yes, of course. Why don’t you take the rest of the evening off?”

“I can come with you to walk him,” she offered.

“No, don’t be silly. You’ve been working so hard lately with me around the house. Why don’t you relax a bit tonight?”

A warm smile lit up her face. “Thank you, Liv. That is so kind of you. If you need anything else tonight, please just call me.”

“I’ll be fine. Good night, Debra.”

“Good night.”

I secured the leash on Scooter’s collar and rubbed his face. “Wanna go for a walk, buddy?”

Scooter wagged his tail and ran to the front door in excitement. When we stepped outside into the darkness, a shiver ran down my body as a gust of wind assaulted us. The threatening clouds that were once looming in the distant horizon had now moved overhead.

“Come on, Scooter. Let’s take a quick walk so we can get back before it starts raining.”

Scooter led me down the street, searching for his favorite spots around the neighborhood. I hugged my body against the chill of the night and inhaled deeply. The damp smell of dust and pavement saturated the air as I felt light rain drops begin to fall on my face. I looked over at Scooter, who was busy sniffing a patch of grass, and could tell he wasn’t ready to head back.

“It’s just a little rain,” I assured myself.

Then Scooter’s head perked up and he saw a cat running across the street. Before I could react, Scooter barked violently and bolted across the empty street, pulling his leash out of my hand.

“Scooter, stop!” I yelled as I stepped off the sidewalk and onto the street.

But before I could run across the street, the blinding glare of headlights from an approaching car that had just turned the corner paralyzed me in place, sending me crashing into another flashback.

Suddenly, I was running as fast as my feet could take me in my jeweled Yves Saint Laurent stilettos, away from the noise of laughter and chatter of the party and into the chilly darkness of the night. Maybe I should stop wearing heels all the time, I thought as I wished for my lone pair of tennis shoes that were collecting dust in my walk-in closet. 

But this didn’t slow me down. I wanted to get out of here. It was the last place I wanted to be.  

“Liv!” I heard a familiar male voice call after me.

The sound of his voice pushed me to move faster. I pulled up the jewel-encrusted blush-pink evening gown that weighed down on my body and restricted my movement. The air was bitter cold and cutting, but the adrenaline that coursed inside me seemed to shelter me from the cold like a blanket. All my senses went into overdrive as I continued to move. 

Suddenly, I saw two bright, blinding headlights coming toward me at high speed. The sharp screeching of car tires filled the air, drowning out all other noise. I felt the impact of cold metal against my body as I was lifelessly flung sideways against the solid pavement.

“Miss?” came an urgent female voice. I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder as it gently shook me. I opened my eyes to see a startled middle-aged woman leaning over me.

“What happened?” I looked around and realized I was sitting in the middle of the street. “Who was it that called out my name?” I looked at the woman, searching her face for an answer.

The woman scrunched her face as she looked around and then back at me in confusion. “Um…I’m not sure what you mean. There’s no one here but us, and I don’t know your name. I turned the corner and you were running across the street by yourself after a dog, I think. But when you saw my car approaching, you stopped running and then you just collapsed onto the ground.”

“Scooter!” Her mention of him brought me back to life and I turned to the direction of where I had last seen him.

But he wasn’t there.

I stood up quickly and scanned the area.

“Are you okay, miss?” The woman looked worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but did you see a dog just now?”

“I saw him for a split second when I first saw you running after him. But when you collapsed, I stopped the car and came up to you. I’m not sure where the dog went. I’m sorry.”

“Crap, I need to find him.”

I turned to go, but the woman stopped me.

“Miss! Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

I met her concerned gaze. “Yes. I really am. I’m sorry I scared you, but I have to go. Thank you for your help.”

Before she could respond, I started to run down the street, scanning the area for any sign of Scooter.

Fifteen minutes later, and no Scooter in sight, I felt the waves of panic begin to paralyze me. I grabbed my phone and pulled up Connor’s number. I took a deep breath and called him.

“This is Connor.” His voice was urgent and curt, and I knew from his tone that he wasn’t in the best mood.

“Connor, it’s Liv,” I said tentatively, my eyes still scanning for any signs of Scooter as I continue down the street.

“Oh. Liv.” His tone softened and he sounded surprised to hear from me. “Sorry, babe. I didn’t check the caller ID when I picked up.” He sounded distracted and I could hear people talking frantically in the background. “Is everything okay?”

My body stiffened and I held my breath. “Umm. Are you busy?”

“Yeah. Very busy. I’m in the middle of a shit storm here. The client just dumped some information on us that might kill this deal. I need to get this fixed tonight to make this deal go through. What’s wrong?”

I paused, trying to decide if I should tell him. “Umm, so I came home and fed Scooter your leftover skirt steak, and…”

“And?” he cut in quickly, trying to prompt me to say what I needed to say.

“Well I know usually Debra takes him out for a walk, but he looked so happy after I fed him the steak that I thought I’d walk him so he could become more accustomed to me.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, Liv. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I really need to get back to work. Can we just talk when I get home? Or is something wrong?”

Even though I knew I was dragging out the story to the point where even I would get a little frustrated, I couldn’t help but flinch at his rebuff.

I swallowed hard and felt as if my lungs were cut off from their oxygen supply. “I lost Scooter.” My voice was barely audible as if talking any louder somehow made Scooter’s disappearance more real, more permanent.

“You what? What do you mean you lost him?” There was a coldness to his voice that made me feel sick to my stomach with unease.

“He just ran off after a cat and the leash slipped out of my hand.”

“Shit! I can’t believe this.” I could hear the frustration in his voice. “Well I can’t leave here right now to go find him. Shit!” I heard him punch the wall and knew he was upset.

“I’m sorry. It just happened so quickly.”

“Damnit, Liv. You know he’s the only thing I have left of Cindy. How can you let this happen?”

My body instantly stiffened by his cutting words. “Who’s Cindy?” I demanded, confused that I hadn’t heard of this person’s name. “If I did know her and her connection with Scooter, then that’s not something I’ve remembered yet,” I added, feeling agitated by our conversation.

There was a pause on the other line. Then I heard him let out sigh. “I’m sorry, Liv. Cindy was my ex-girlfriend.”

His confession left me in shock, leaving me with more questions than answers. “The only thing you have left of Cindy,” I repeated his comment. “So you got Scooter when you were with Cindy? And I knew about all this before?”

“Yes, I’ve told you about what happened to Cindy. It’s a long story, one that will have to wait until later when I’m not in the middle of this shit storm.”

I was speechless and didn’t know what to say. How could I know about Cindy and what Scooter meant to Connor and be okay with all that? My mind reeled with confusion as I tried to reconcile these facts in my mind.

“Liv, baby, I’m sorry I snapped at you. There’s just a lot going on over here right now. Look, I really need to go. Just have Jim and Debra go out and look for him. He can’t have gotten too far. I’ll be home as soon as I can. But I’m really sorry, I need to get back to work.”

Before I could respond, the line went dead.

I wanted to call Connor back, but as I pulled up his number again, I realized that I didn’t know what else to say to him. If I had known about Cindy and Scooter before, and I was okay with that, then maybe I have nothing to worry about, I tried to reason with myself.

The rain was coming down in shorter successions as it started to soak through my shirt, and my thoughts went out to Scooter again.

I knew I needed help to find Scooter. The timestamp on my phone said 9:36 p.m. I realized that I didn’t want to disturb Jim and Debra after I had told them to enjoy the rest of their evenings. So I pulled up Anna’s name and dialed her number.

“Hey, Liv!” she yelled over the loud dance music playing on her end of the line.

“Anna? Where are you?”

“I’m at Rumor! If you’re free, you should come by! It’s not far from your place and the DJ tonight is amazing!”

I frowned, realizing that I caught her at a bad time. “No, it’s okay. Let’s chat later, okay?”

“Okay!” I could hear her giggle through the music. “Love you, Liv! I’ll talk to you later!”

After I hung up with her, I stared at my phone. I felt more lost and confused than I had when I first woke up from my coma. Then my eyes landed on a name listed in my recent call history. Ethan James.

“Ethan James,” I said his name out loud as I remembered him putting his number on my phone yesterday at Paesano’s. I wasn’t sure why, but something compelled me to call him.

He picked up after the first ring. “Well this is a pleasant surprise.” I could hear jazz music and chatter on his end of the line. “It’s only been a day, Liv. What happened to playing hard to get?”

Maybe it was the sharp contrast to the cold and antagonizing conversation I just had with Connor, but something about Ethan’s playfulness caused me to smile even at that moment.

“I’m sorry to bother you. It sounds like you’re out right now.”

“No worries. I’m just having drinks with some friends. We’re actually at Monk’s Cafe, which isn’t too far from you. Care to join?” I didn’t have to see him to know there was a devious smirk across his face.

“No. Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have called. I just didn’t know who else to turn to.”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” The playful cockiness in Ethan’s voice was immediately replaced with an air of concern.

“Yeah I’m fine, but I lost Connor’s dog, Scooter, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Where’s Connor?”

“He’s at work. I called him, but there’s a crisis at work right now so he can’t leave.”

“Okay, I’m closing out my tab now. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

“No, you don’t have to,” I said quickly, feeling guilty for ruining his night. “You’re out with friends. I really shouldn’t have called—”

“Stop it, Liv. I’m coming over to help you find your fiancé’s dog, and you can’t stop me. Okay?”

I nodded, and then realizing he couldn’t see me, I responded, “Okay. I’m currently walking along 21st street and passing Locust at the moment. I’ll stay around this block, so let me know when you’re close.”

“Sure thing. Oh, and for the record, I’m doing this because I like you, not because I like your fiancé or his dog,” he said with a glint of humor in his voice.

I couldn’t help but to laugh. Even at a time like this, he was able to make me laugh.

Five minutes later, I saw a cab slow down beside me on the street and Ethan jumped out of it.

I ran over to greet him. “You didn’t drive?” I asked as I watched the cab drive away.

“No. My car’s in the shop, and you might find this hard to believe, but my bike doesn’t really like the rain.” There was a warm smile on his face as he greeted me with a hug. Then he opened his umbrella and raised it above me. “Where’s your umbrella?”

I frowned. “I didn’t think I needed one when I left the house. But even if the thought crossed my mind, I wouldn’t even know where they are around the house.”

“Oh right. The amnesia.”

I nodded, feeling a sense of helplessness.

Ethan smiled. “Well, if it’s any consolation, if I lived in that huge mansion I’d dropped you off at yesterday, I probably wouldn’t know where the umbrella is either, with or without amnesia.”

I met his gaze and felt relieved that he was here. “So his name is Scooter. He’s a Jack Russell Terrier.”

For the next fifteen minutes, we walked around the neighborhood under his umbrella, calling out Scooter’s name as we looked for any signs of him.

“Thanks for coming to help.” I looked at him gratefully as we rounded the corner to a different street.

“No problem.” He winked at me and smiled. “But don’t feel too special though,” he added in his casual, jesting way. “I have the superhero complex, so I couldn’t help it.”

I suppressed a laugh and looked at him. “The what complex?”

“You know, the superhero complex. When I see a beautiful woman in need of help, I just can’t walk away and not help. I’ll help even if she refuses it.” He chuckled as he playfully nudged me against my arm.

“I see.” I giggled with amusement. “And what exactly is your power as a superhero?”

“I’m pretty powerful if you really must know,” he answered with a sarcastic air of confidence. “There’s my dashing good looks, my undeniable charm, and my ability to make you laugh even at a time like this.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “I never knew anyone could actually be this cocky.”

He chuckled. “Well I’ll take that as a compliment.”

For a few minutes, we walked in silence as we continued to search for Scooter.

Ethan broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Didn’t you mention last night when I dropped you off that you have a butler and a housekeeper at your house?”

“Yeah, Jim and Debra.”

“You said that Connor couldn’t leave work, but how come they didn’t help you look for the dog?”

“I had told them earlier in the night that they could take the night off. I didn’t want to trouble them.”

“Okay.” He paused and thought about my response. “But you called me and troubled me.”

“I didn’t mean to—” I quickly defended myself but he cut me off with laughter.

“I was only teasing, Liv. It’s really no trouble at all.” The warmth of his smile echoed in his voice as he looked at me with those compelling, dark eyes. “I just enjoy being around you.”

“Thank you.” I flashed him a small smile, completely unsure of what to say as I felt tormented by the conflicting emotions that swarmed inside me.

“So how long have you guys had this dog anyway?” he asked as we turned the corner to another street.

I frowned at his question. “Scooter’s not my dog.” I paused. “Connor got the dog eight years ago in a previous relationship.”

He stopped mid-step and stared at me. “You’re shitting me, right?”

“What?” I tried to hide my feelings.

“How are you okay with this? How is Connor not out here looking with you when it’s his dog, and one from a previous relationship no less?” He looked at me incredulously.

“He’s tied up at work. It was an emergency and he couldn’t get away.”

Ethan’s expression became darker and I saw his grip tighten around the umbrella handle. “I just don’t get it. How can Connor let his fiancée, who just recently came out of a coma with amnesia, wander the streets aimlessly by herself in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain, to look for his dog? What kind of man is he?” His jaw tightened with every passing breath.

For some reason, I felt defensive over Connor at that moment. “He doesn’t know I’m out here looking for Scooter. Connor’s a great guy, and he’s been amazing to me.”

“I’m starting to find that hard to believe. I think you deserve better, Liv.”

His words rang too close to home after what had happened tonight with Connor, and I felt my defensive walls go up against this man.

“Well you don’t have to believe me. The truth is the truth. Connor’s been by my side through my accident. He’s been so understanding, loving, and patient with me through all this, and I know it hasn’t been easy for him to love someone who doesn’t even remember him. He may not be here right now, but he means more to me than you do.” The moment my last few words escaped my lips in spite, I regretted them.

Ethan’s face fell and he turned his gaze away from me. When he turned back to face me, his demeanor had changed.

“I know he means a lot more to you than I do. As hard as it is for me to accept, I get that. I just don’t want to see you hurt. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you with my comments—sometimes my straight-forwardness gets me into trouble.”

“Why do you care, Ethan? I don’t mean to be rude, but you hardly know me. At first, I thought you were just some guy who was looking for a fun time, and you saw me as an easy target. But that doesn’t explain why you’re here helping me tonight, or the comments you’ve made about Connor. So why do you care?”

To my surprise, he let out a chuckle and shook his head. “You know what? I can’t explain it, and I don’t understand why, but the more I get to know you, the more I want to be around you.” He paused and a smile curved onto his lips. “You really don’t know how different you are, do you?”

I frowned, confused by his question. “What do you mean?”

His infectious smile widened as he met my eyes. “You really care about the people around you, and you put others first. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself about losing your memory, or focusing on yourself, you’re thinking about how hard your amnesia has been on Connor. Instead of telling your housekeeper and butler to go look for the dog, or at least help you look, you don’t want to trouble them and want them to enjoy their evenings off. So while they’re having a relaxing night at the house, you’re out here in the pouring rain, without an umbrella, in the middle of the night, looking for a dog that your fiancé got with his ex girlfriend.”

“There’s a lot of people who would do that. It’s not that unlikely,” I tried to dismiss his comments as I felt my cheeks flush at the sincerity of his words.

He shook his head in disbelief. “That’s not normal, Liv. That’s you. The way you care for someone is selfless and unadulterated. You have real heart and depth. You’re unlike any woman I’ve ever met.”

I stared at him, unsure of how to respond to his words.

Then he laughed awkwardly, breaking the silence. “Well, I guess I was wrong. I guess I can explain why I care about you and why I want to be around you.” A sheepish grin appeared on his face and he looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

“You’re not what I’d expected, Ethan.” Our eyes met and we shared a smile. At that moment, I felt something shift inside of me. It was a feeling that was new, something that scared me. But it was also something I couldn’t seem to turn my back to. Something about this man intrigued me and as much as I wanted to deny it, I knew I wanted to know more about him.

***

After almost two hours of walking in the rain-drenched streets, Scooter was nowhere to be found. Ethan walked me to the house before grabbing a cab home.

As I walked up to the front door of the house, I felt the weight of anxiety return, constricting every nerve of my body.

But the minute I walked through the door, Scooter came running down the hall and jumped up at me.

“You’re home!” I cried in disbelief as tears of relief ran down my face.

“Hey, babe,” came Connor’s voice as he rushed toward me. “Where were you? I was getting worried.”

I stared at him, unsure of how I felt after our last conversation. “I was out looking for Scooter.”

“Good God, Liv.” He rushed over to the hallway closet and took out a bath towel. “You’re soaking wet. Why were you out there by yourself? How come Jim and Debra weren’t with you?”

I stood there looking at Scooter and then Connor blankly. “Was he here when you got home?”

“Yeah. He was waiting by the door when I got in half an hour ago. What happened to you? Are you okay? I tried to call you but your phone was turned off.”

I looked down at my phone and realized it was dead. “It must have died while I was out.”

Connor tried to wrap the towel around me but I moved away. I saw the hurt on his face by my brush-off.

“Liv, I’m really sorry about earlier. I was so stressed out about the deal falling through that I took it out on you. I’m sorry I snapped at you. I was an asshole.”

I met his gaze and for a moment, I felt my anger waver. Then a question popped into my mind. “Who is Cindy?”

“Oh.” An expression of understanding appeared on his face. “I’m sorry for blurting that out without giving you any context. I don’t know what I was thinking. At that moment, I think I completely forgot about your amnesia.” His face twisted with guilt.

“So why did you mention her?”

Connor sighed. “Cindy was my college girlfriend. We were together for three years. She passed away from cancer when we were together.” His voice shook as he spoke. “She’d always talked about getting a dog together while we were dating. So when she was diagnosed, I took her to the animal shelter and we got Scooter. She passed away five months later.”

Tears trembled down my cheeks as I took in Connor’s story. I looked at Scooter and realized why he was important to Connor.

“I’m sorry about Cindy, Connor. I didn’t realize earlier on the phone.”

“No, don’t be.” He rushed to my side and wrapped the towel around me. “I was an asshole on the phone. Sometimes I have to be when I’m dealing with business people, but I should never treat you like that. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know it’s been a crazy day.” I forced a small smile as our eyes met. “I’m just glad Scooter is okay.”

Connor pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. “You’re amazing, Liv. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.”

I closed my eyes as I fell into his embrace, trying to reconcile my feelings. “I’m really tired from everything tonight. I’m going to take a quick shower and head to bed.”

He nodded, but I saw the worry in his eyes. “Okay. I have to do some more work before I can turn in.” He leaned down to kiss me on my forehead. “Sweet dreams, babe. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night.”

As I headed to the bathroom, I immediately got lost in my own thoughts.

Despite everything that had happened tonight, I knew that I still cared about Connor. I knew that everything he’d done for me over the last month couldn’t—and shouldn’t—be erased by tonight’s events. I thought I had been lied to when Connor first mentioned Cindy tonight. I thought the man I thought I knew—the one that had cared for me and loved me—had all been a lie. But after hearing about Cindy and the way she died, my heart went out to Connor on how much he’d gone through, and it had reaffirmed to me the type of man he was. I knew the Cindy explanation could not excuse all of his behavior toward me tonight, but I also knew that he was human. And at the end of the day, he did apologize. That had to be worth something, right?

As I wrestled with these thoughts and tried to forgive Connor for his behavior, my thoughts drifted to Ethan and everything he had said to me tonight. Somehow, as a result of tonight’s series of unfortunate events, I felt as if I was standing in front of a fork in the road, being forced to choose only one path. As a result of tonight, I found myself torn between two men: the caring and protective fiancé who I had no memory of, and the rebellious and surprisingly-sweet stranger who made me question who I once was.