Текст книги "Pure"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

CHAPTER 8

I STARED AT HIM, CAUGHT UP IN MY REALIZATION. I LOVED Aiden.I loved him, really loved him.

Oh, gods, I was so totally screwed.

Aiden’s cheeks flushed under his natural tan. “I mean, all of us need a day away from our world. We need moments to take a breather and let it all go.” He glanced at me, a wry grin replacing the one I’d throw pretty much anyone in front of a daimon to see. “Anyway, today is just a normal day. We aren’t going to talk about training or the daimon attack.”

“Okay.” I took a deep, calming breath and ordered myself to pull it together. Then I saw the sign for the zoo and I face-planted the window again.

“We can’t stay for long—only a couple of hours—or the Guards will suspect something. We also need to keep this a secret. We can’t let anyone find out.”

I nodded. “Of course. I won’t say a single word. I just can’t believe you remembered this.” I also couldn’t believe I was in love with a pure-blood.

He merged toward the exit ramp, expression suddenly serious. “I remember everything you say.”

I peeled myself off the window. It was all too easy for me to recall the day I’d told him about my love of animals and zoos. It’d been in the small med office, when he’d rubbed that gunk over my bruises. But I didn’t expect him to actually remember that day, or any day for that matter. And if he really did remember everything I said, then…

My fingers curled in my lap. I was a big douchebag. I said mean things. A lot. I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

Aiden looked at me sharply. “For what?”

I stared down at my hands, guilt gnawing at my insides. How could I not have apologized sooner? “I’m sorry about saying you’re like other pure-bloods. I shouldn’t have said that. Because you’re not—you’re nothing like them.”

“Alex, don’t apologize. You were angry. So was I. It’s in the past. Over.”

The guilt eased off a little bit as I gazed out the window, but an old yearning pulled at my heart. Mom had loved it here. The sights brought forth a mix of sorrow and happiness. I sighed, wanting to be happy but feeling bad about it.

Trees dotted the winding road leading up to the entrance. Mom had known the names of the trees. I didn’t. Off in the distance, I could make out the top of the main building.

“It bothered you though,” I said as Aiden coasted the Hummer to a stop. The lot was full for this time of year, but the weather was still warm enough. The zoo would be packed. I undid the seatbelt and twisted toward him. “I know it did.”

Aiden cut the engine and pulled the keys out. Lifting his gaze from his hands, those eyes pierced me. “Yeah, it did.”

I bit my lip, wanting to apologize again.

“I don’t want you to see me like that.” A short, harsh laugh escaped him and he focused on the steering wheel as he held the keys in a tight grip. “The funny thing is that what you said shouldn’t have bothered me. I’m a pure. So I should be like all the others. I really shouldn’t care if you saw me like that. I should care how the other pure-bloods view me.”

“I’m sure they think you’re wonderful, too.” I flushed after saying that, because it sounded stupid. “Anyway, screw what anyone thinks. Who cares, right?”

Grinning, he glanced over at me, and I felt my heart skip a beat. “Yeah, who cares? We’re at the zoo. Screw them.”

“Yeah, screw them.”

Aiden tilted his head back, letting out a relieved sigh. “Does the place have funnel cakes?”

“I think so. I want a hamburger and a hot dog.” I paused. “And ice cream in one of those waffle cones. And—and I want to see the big kitties.”

“So demanding,” he murmured, grinning. “Well, we better get started, then.”

First stop honors went to a portly, balding man who had more grease on his shirt than he did in his pan. He made funnel cakes. Aiden liked him a lot. While I waited in line beside him, I spotted a vendor flipping burgers. I darted in that direction, after which Aiden commented that he’d never seen me run that fast before.

When we finally made it past the food and into the actual park, I was overflowing with giddiness. The slight breeze carried the oddly alluring scent of animals and people. Sunlight broke through the park’s dense canopy of trees, casting slivers of warmth as we made our way deeper into the attractions.

I probably looked goofy with the extra bounce in my step and the way I kept grinning at everyone we passed. I was just so happy to be out in the world again—and with Aiden of all people. And watching how the mortals responded to him was highly entertaining. It could have been his alarming height or godly looks that stopped women andmen in their tracks. Or it could be the way he laughed, tipping his head back and letting loose that rich, deep sound. Either way, I got a thrill seeing him do his best to ignore them.

“You don’t mingle with the natives a lot, do you?” I asked as we stepped into the Forest Glade and watched a gorilla sitting on a rock, picking fleas. Stimulating stuff here.

Aiden chuckled. “Is it that obvious?”

“A little bit.”

He shifted closer, lowering his voice. “Mortals scare me.”

“What?” I laughed in disbelief.

Smiling at my expression, he nudged me with his hip. “They do. They’re unpredictable creatures. You don’t know if they’re going to hug you or stab you. They’re ruled by emotions.”

“And we’re not?”

Aiden appeared to consider that. “No. They—I mean, we’re taught to control our emotions. To not let them be what guides our decisions. Everything in our world—both of our worlds—is about logic and continuing our races. You know that.”

I glanced over at him, noticing the way the proud lines of his face were relaxed. In these moments, he did look younger and carefree. I liked him this way—with his eyes full of light and laughter, his expressive mouth curved upward. Seeing him now, it was almost hard to believe he was far more deadly than any animal in the park.

“But you seem to be at ease around all of them.” He nodded at a group at the other end of the pen. A mother and a father stood with two young kids. The little girl handed her brother a half-eaten ice cream cone. “You have more experience dealing with them than I do.”

I nodded, turning back to the cage. Another hairy beast made its way to the one on the rock. Maybe something interesting would happen. “I blended in, but I never fit in. They can sense something off about us. That’s why no one will get too close to us.”

“I cannot possibly imagine you blending in.”

“Why? I think I did a damn good job of going unnoticed for three years.”

“I just can’t. No one is like you, Alex.”

I grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It is.” He nudged me again, and my grin grew into another ludicrous smile—the kind Caleb gave Olivia when they weren’t tearing each other’s heads off. “You’re incredibly intelligent, Alex. Funny and…”

“Pretty?” I supplied, only half-serious.

“No, not pretty.”

“Cute?”

“No.”

I frowned. “Well, then.”

Aiden’s laugh sent shivers through me. “I was going to say ‘stunning.’ You’re stunningly beautiful.”

I sucked in air sharply, cheeks flushing. I tipped my head back and our gazes locked. Somehow I hadn’t known we stood so close. And Aiden was close. Close enough that I could feel his warm breath against my cheek, speeding up my pulse.

“Oh,” I whispered. Not the most eloquent of responses, but it was the best I had.

“Anyway, what is it with you and zoos?” Aiden stretched his arms above his head.

A shaky sigh escaped me, my gaze drifting over the family, settling on the little girl. She had the cutest pigtails ever, and she was smiling at me. I smiled back.

“I like animals,” I said finally.

Aiden glanced down at me, eyes full of… well, full of yearning. “That’s why you practically choked yourself in the car?”

I cringed. “You noticed that, huh? My mom loved animals, too. She said once that we were a lot like the ones in the cages. Well fed and taken care of, but caged nonetheless. I never agreed with that.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope. Here the animals are safe. Out in the wild, they’d be killing one another or being poached. I know they’ve lost their freedom, but sometimes things have to be sacrificed.”

“That’s a strange perspective for you to have.”

“You mean it’s a strange perspective for a half-bloodto have. I know. But we all have to sacrifice something to gain something else.”

Aiden reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the path of a woman on a mission of pushing a stroller. I’d been so caught up in watching him I hadn’t seen the woman—or heard her screaming baby. I glanced down between us. His hand was still wrapped around mine. The simple, unexpected gesture sent a crazy amount of heat through me.

Aiden guided me through the ever-increasing throng of visitors. He parted the crowd like the Red Sea. People just got out of the way for him as we left the Kitera Forest and entered the Forest Edge.

“Can I ask you a question?” I asked.

“Sure.”

“If you weren’t a pure, what would you be doing right now? Like, what would you want to do with your life?”

Aiden glanced down at our hands and then his gaze flicked to mine. “Right this instant? I’d be doing a hell of a lot more than what I’m allowed to do.”

Heat infused my entire body, swirling my thoughts into a heady mess. I almost convinced myself I totally made up that response and that lack of sleep had finally driven me crazy. Auditory hallucinations were a bitch.

His fingers tightened around mine. “But I’m sure you were wondering more than that. What would I be doing if I was just a mortal? I don’t really know. It’s not something I’ve really thought about.”

I had to mentally kick myself to find my voice again. “You’ve never thought about it? For real?”

Aiden sidestepped a couple taking pictures, shrugging. “I never had to. When I was younger, I knew I would follow in my parents’ footsteps. The Covenant groomed me to do so. I took all the right classes: politics, customs, and negotiations. Basically, the most boring classes you could imagine. Then after the daimon attack, everything changed. I went from wanting to follow my parents to wanting to do something to ensure another family didn’t go through what Deacon had to.”

“And what you had to,” I added quietly.

He nodded. “I don’t know what I would do if I woke up tomorrow and had a choice. Well, I can think of a few things, but a career?”

“You do have a choice. Pures have all the choices.”

He glanced down at me, frowning. “No, we don’t. That’s the biggest misconception between our races. Halfs think we have all the choices, but we are just as limited as your kind is, but in different ways.”

I really didn’t believe that, but I didn’t want to argue and ruin the moment. “So… you really don’t know what you’d do?” He shook his head, so I offered my suggestion. “A police officer.”

Aiden brows rose up. “You think I’d be a police officer?”

I nodded. “You want to help people. I don’t think you’re corruptible. Being a Sentinel and a police officer are kind of the same thing. Fighting the bad guys, keeping the peace, and all that good stuff.”

“I guess you’re right.” He smiled then. A mortal girl about my age stumbled as she passed us on the trail. Aiden seemed oblivious to her. “Hey, I’d get a badge. I don’t have one of those now.”

“I want a badge, too.”

Aiden cocked his to the side, laughing. “Of course, you’d want a badge. Hey—look what I see.” He pointed around the bend.

“Cats!”

His hand curved around mine more fully, almost like some unconscious part of him was responding to me.

Several yards of empty space and fencing separated the lion pen from the visitors. At first, I didn’t see him, and then he prowled up from behind a rock, tossing his mane from side to side. His orange-yellow coat reminded me of Seth’s eyes. Actually, the way the lion stopped in front of the gathering crowd and yawned—flashing a row of razor sharp teeth—also reminded me of Seth.

“He’s beautiful,” I whispered, wishing I could somehow get closer. I wasn’t one of those lunatics who climbed into a lion’s den, but I also wanted to touch one—a people-raised, totally tame one not likely to rip off my hand.

“He looks bored out of his mind.”

We stayed there a while, watching the feline stroll around the grassy knoll before climbing atop a large rock and lying down, tail swishing back and forth. Finally, some of the female lions decided to show up. I told Aiden they were the real deal, recalling something I heard on Animal Planetabout the females actually being more badass than the males. Within a couple of minutes, two of them joined the male on the rock.

I groaned as they lay down beside the male. “Ah, come on. Knock him off the rock.”

Aiden chuckled. “I think he’s got two girlfriends.”

“Dog,” I muttered.

We left the Bushlands, wandering into the North American section. This part seemed virtually empty compared to the other. I guess the mortals were bored by the bears and other familiar critters. Aiden seemed fascinated with them, and I spotted a bobcat. I let go of Aiden’s hand and went up to the outer fence. A slight breeze rolled in. We were much closer than any of the other exhibits. Close enough that the bobcat appeared to catch our scent.

It’d been stalking some unseen prey up until that moment. She stopped, though, inclining her head in our direction. A second or two passed, and I swear our eyes met. Long, thin whiskers twitched as she smelled the air.

“Do you think she knows what we are?” I asked.

Aiden propped himself against the guardrail. “I don’t know.”

We weren’t allowed to have pets on the island. Some pures could use compulsion to control their actions, which meant so could a daimon. It was rare and took an extremely powerful pure to do so, but it was a risk no one ever took. I’d always wanted a pet growing up—a cat.

“Mom believed they did,” I said. “She said animals could sense we were different from the mortals, especially cats.”

He was silent for a few moments, and I was sure his brain was turning. Putting together some sort of puzzle. “Did your mother like cats?”

I shrugged. “I think it had something to do with my father. Whenever we’d come here, we’d always ended up here right before we left.” I glanced over my shoulders, nodding at the weathered benches. “We’d sit over there and watch the cats.”

Aiden shifted closer, but didn’t speak.

I turned back to the pen, smiling. “It was the only time Mom would talk about my father. She never really said much about him. Except that he had the warmest brown eyes. I wonder if he had something to do with animals, you know?” I curled my fingers around the wire mesh of the fence. “Anyway, the last time we were here was when she told me he was dead and told me his name. She named me after him, did you know that? I guess that’s why Lucian hated it when Mom called me Alex. After a while, she started calling me Lexie instead. My father’s name was Alexander.”

Several moments passed where neither of us said anything. Aiden spoke first. “That’s why you like the zoo so much.”

“Yeah, you got me.” I laughed self-consciously.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, to want to be close to something that reminds you of your loved ones.”

“I didn’t even know him, Aiden.”

“Still,” he said. “He was your father.”

I watched the bobcat for a few more seconds. It prowled the edge of its pen, no longer curious about our presence. Its powerful muscles flexed under the spotted coat. There was something amazingly graceful about the way it moved.

“I hate to do this, but we need to head back, Alex.”

“I know.”

We started walking back through the park. Aiden was a lot quieter this time around—lost in thought. It didn’t take nearly long enough to reach the front gates. Thick trees gave it an almost surreal quality as we strolled back to the Hummer.

Before I knew it, I was sitting in the passenger seat, and Aiden had just put the keys into the ignition, but he hadn’t turned the car on. He twisted in his seat, facing me, and the expression on his face caused my heart to falter in my chest.

“I know how brave you are, Alex. But you don’t always have to be. It’s okay every once in a while to let someone else be brave for you. There’s no loss of dignity in that. Not for you. You’ve already proven that you have more dignity than even a pure-blood can muster.”

I kind of wondered where that had come from. “You must be high off sugar or something.”

Aiden laughed. “You just don’t see what we see, Alex. Even the times you’re being utterly ridiculous about something or when you’re just standing around, doing nothing, it’s hard to not notice. As a pure-blood it’s the last thing I should notice.” His eyes flickered shut, long lashes fanned his cheeks before his eyes reopened to reveal intense silver. “I don’t think you have a clue.”

The world outside the car ceased to exist. “What don’t I have a clue about?”

“Ever since I’ve met you, I’ve wanted to break every rule.” Aiden turned away, the muscles in his neck tensing. He sighed. “You’ll become the center of someone’s world one day. And he’ll be the luckiest son of a bitch on this earth.”

His words created a mad rush of strong emotions. I was hot—so incredibly hot. I really did think the world ended right then. Aiden glanced over at me, his lips parting. The intensity in his gaze, the hunger in his eyes left me dizzy. His chest rose sharply.

“Thank you.” My voice sounded thick. “Thanks for doing all of this for me.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

“When am I ever supposed to thank you?”

“When I do something that is truly worth thanking me for.”

Those words struck a deep chord in me, and I don’t know who moved first. Who leaned over the center console—who was the first to cross the invisible line between us? Who broke the rules first? Aiden? Me? All I did know was that we both moved. Aiden’s hands were around my face, and mine fell to his chest, to where his heart beat just as fast as mine. In an instant, our lips met.

This kiss was nothing like the first one we’d shared. Its rawness left us both breathless. There wasn’t a moment of hesitation or indecision. There was just want and need and a thousand other powerful, crazy things. His lips scorched mine, his hands dropping to my shoulders, sliding down my arms. My skin burned under my sweater, but oh, this was so much more than just a kiss. It was the way he touched the deepest parts of me. My heart and soul would never be the same. It was nearly overwhelming to realize something as powerful as that and it brought a sense of urgency that pushed me into the unknown.

Aiden pulled back, resting his forehead against mine. He was breathing heavily. What came out of my mouth next was not something I’d planned. The three words just bubbled up my throat, barely even audible.

“I love you.”

Aiden jerked back, eyes wide. “No. Alex. Don’t say that. You can’t… you can’tlove me.”

I started to reach for him, but then pulled my hands back to my chest. “But I do.”

His face was tight, as if he was experiencing some terrible pain. Then he closed his eyes and leaned in, pressing his lips against my forehead. He lingered there a few moments before pulling back. His chest rose and fell as I stared at him.

Aiden scrubbed the palms of his hands over his eyes and let out another ragged breath. “Alex…”

“Oh, gods,” I whispered, facing the front of the car. “I never should have said that.”

“It’s okay.” Aiden cleared his throat. “It’s all right.”

Okay? It didn’t seem okay. And okayand all rightweren’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted him to say he loved me, too. Wasn’t that what was said after a declaration of love? Not okay. I knew he cared about me and he wanted me in the physical sense, but he wasn’t saying those three little words.

And those three words were so important. They changed everything.

I willed my heart to stop the aching it was doing. Maybe he was just shocked into silence. Maybe he didn’t know how to say it. Maybe he felt it but thought he couldn’t say it.

Maybe I should’ve kept my big mouth shut.

I fell asleep during the ride back, which served several purposes. I got one hell of a power nap, and I avoided what probably would’ve been the most awkward car ride of my life. I pretended to still be asleep while we crossed the bridges.

Aiden kept it cool, like he hadn’t kissed me and I hadn’t professed my undying love for him. He even hopped out and opened the door for me before I’d even gotten the seatbelt off. He was such a gentleman—or he was just that eager to get rid of me.

After a half-assed goodbye, I headed back to my dorm. I cut through the courtyard, hoping to avoid the more heavily populated areas of the quad. I kept replaying everything Aiden had done and said.

Those kisses still sent shockwaves through my belly. The way he’d kissed me had to mean something, because people didn’t kisslike that. He had wanted to get away with me, and planned the whole zoo thing. He had to feel something—something powerful for me.

But he hadn’t said he loved me. He hadn’t really said anything after I’d said it.

I kicked a loose pebble, sending it flying into a nearby lilac bush. There was a good chance I was overreacting. I tended to do that a lot. Tallying up everything Aiden had done in the last few hours, his actions proved he cared and totally outweighed the fact that he hadn’t said he loved me.

I moved on to the rose bush and broke off one bloom by the stem. Somehow the roses were thornless here. I had no clue how they grew that way, but hell, I hadn’t a clue about anything. I closed my eyes, inhaling its clean scent. Mom had loved hibiscuses, but I loved roses. They reminded me of spring and all things new.

“Child, that rose ain’t going to ease your heart. Move on? Let go? Stay on the path your heart has chosen? Ain’t nothing easy when the heart has laid claim.”

My eyes popped open. “You have got to be kidding me.”

A dry, rasping cackle that sounded like it was one step away from death confirmed who stood behind me. I wheeled around. Standing in the middle of the walkway, bent over a gnarly cane, was Grandma Piperi—oracle extraordinaire. Her hair looked like it had the last time I’d seen her, like its enormous weight would topple her over.

She smiled, stretching her way-too-thin skin. It looked a bit grotesque and crazy. “Do you know why a heart lays claim? Survival. That heart lays its claim to ensure survival of its kind.”

Once again, I was standing in front of the oracle and she was sprouting the craziest crap I’d ever heard. “Why didn’t you tell me my mother was a daimon?” I clenched the fragile stem of the rose in my fist. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”

Piperi cocked her head to the side. “Child, I only speak in truths. I gave you the truths.”

“You told me nothing!”

“No. No.” She shook her head. “I told you everything.”

I gaped at her. “You told me a bunch of crazy crap that didn’t make any sense! You could have just said ‘Hey, you’re the second coming of the Apollyon. You’re mother is a daimon and she’s going to try to turn you. And oh, by the way, she’s going to try to kill your friend!’”

“Isn’t that what I told you, child?”

“No!” I screamed, throwing the rose to the ground. “That’s not what you told me.”

Piperi clucked her tongue. “Then you didn’t listen with those ears. People never do. Only ever hear what they want to hear.”

“Oh. My. Gods. Woman, you’re the reason my mom left here in the first place. She was turned into a damn daimon. If you hadn’t told her about me—”

“Your momma wanted to save you—save you from your fate. If she hadn’t, you’d be nothing but a memory and a fear long forgotten. Just like all you who mix the breeds. What they want you two for, what they planned.” She shook her head again and when she looked at me, sorrow etched across his face. “They fear you, fear what comes from you. I told you, child. I told you that your path was filled with dark things that must be done.”

I blinked. “Uh… okay.”

Piperi hobbled forward, stopping in front of me. She only came up to my shoulders, but I remembered how strong she was. I took a step back. She cackled, but this time the laugh ended in a wretched wheezing sound. Gods, I hoped she didn’t keel over right here. She lifted her head, giving me a big, toothless smile. “Do you want to know about love, child?”

“Oh, come on.” I groaned. “You make me want to hurt myself.”

“But love, child, love is the root of all that is good, and the root of all things that are evil. Love is the root of the Apollyon.”

I shifted to my other foot. “Yeah, I think this is around the time I say goodbye. I hope you have a nice trip back to whatever hut you crawled out of.”

Her free hand snaked out, covering mine. Her skin felt papery thin, dry, and so gross. I tried to jerk my hand back, but she held on. Her strength was unnatural. Her eyes fastened on me. “Listen to me, child. Fate is afoot. Things cannot be undone. Fate has looked into the past and into the future. History is on repeat, but this is the time to press ‘stop.’ To change everything.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m sorry. You’re not making—”

“Listen to me!”

“I’m listening! But could you speak a coherent sentence for once?”

Piperi’s fingers slid over mine, and then she let go, wheezing. “I ain’t nothing no more. You must see what I’ve shown you. Hear what I have spoken. Nothing is what it seems. Evil hides in the shadows, plotting its plans while you fear the daimons.”

I scowled. “I don’t fear daimons.”

Her black eyes pierced me. “You should fear those who follow the old ways. Those who do not seek change and cannot allow things to continue as they are. And what a path, what a path the Powers have chosen. The end, the end is near. He,” she japed at the sky, “will see to it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, for the love of the gods, this makes no sense.”

She shook her head again. “You don’t get it. Listen to me.” Piperi poked me in the chest with one bony finger. “You must make a choice between what is fated and what is unknown.”

“Ow!” I stepped back. She jabbed me again. “Hey! Knock it off!”

“Take the risk or suffer the consequences!” She stopped suddenly, her eyes growing wide as her gaze darted around the otherwise silent garden. “You must not accept gifts from those who seek to destroy you.”

“Or candy,” I muttered.

Piperi ignored my sarcasm. “You must stay away from the one who brings nothing but heartache and death. Do you hear me? He brings nothing but death. Always has. Know the difference between need and love, fate and future. If you don’t, everything your momma sacrificed will be for naught.”

That caught my attention—perhaps because it was the clearest thing she’d ever said to me. “Who is he?”

“He is not what he seems. He has them all fooled—has himfooled. Poor child doesn’t see it. He doesn’t see it, and it has sealed his fate.” She sighed. “That one plays both sides. You don’t know—you wouldn’t know. He—” She jerked backward, the cane slipping from her grasp. The thing hit the marble sidewalk, shattering into a dozen thick pieces.

I grabbed for her, expecting her to fall flat on her face. So I was surprised when she didn’t fall over… and utterly shocked when she folded in on herself, flaking away until nothing remained but a pile of dust.