Текст книги "Elixir"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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CHAPTER 7

ALEX SLEPT FOR NEARLY TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, WAKing up minutes before I caved to my growing concern. Late in the night, we went downstairs and, between the two of us, we just about cleaned out the fridge. She was still fidgety and would only do something if I told her to, but by the time morning came around, she’d loosened up enough that it was almost like being around a very calm and sedated Alex.

We moved from the kitchen to the sunroom and stayed there. She didn’t talk to me unless I asked her a question. After investigating every flower and plant in the room, she sat on one of the window seats and remained there, gazing at the thick woods that surrounded the safe house.

I sat beside her, on the other end of the window seat, surprisingly content to just be there with her. I wanted to know what she was thinking and each time I asked, the answer was the same.

“Nothing,” she said, not taking her gaze off the glass walls.

That was like a cut to the chest, but not as bad as when there’d be footsteps in the hallway or voices nearing and Alex would lock up. She’d look away from the woods then, staring at the closed door. Panic would fill the brown and amber eyes. Solos came into the sunroom at one point, checking to see if we needed anything from the nearby town.

The only person she didn’t freak over was her uncle. Was it some kind of leftover familial bond? But even then, she treated him the same way she treated me. Marcus had the same amount of luck that I did drawing her into a conversation. After that, I decided it would be best to keep her away from the rest of the household.

Finally, after hours of being together, her eyes focused on me. I pretended not to notice, but I was aware of her gaze traveling down.

Alex moved suddenly, slower than she normally would, and grasped my hands in hers. “Your hands…”

Stunned that she was even touching me, I couldn’t respond. Like an idiot, I sat there as her thumbs smoothed over the bones in my hand, stopping short of the raw knuckles.

“You’re hurt,” she said. “Why are you hurt?”

As gently as I could, I pulled my hands free. “I’m not hurt. It’s nothing to worry about.”

Her lashes swept up as she searched my face. Then she nodded and settled back, staring down at her own hands with a frown.

She tired quickly after that, becoming lethargic before it was nine. I managed to get her to eat before I took her back upstairs. She was out the minute her head hit the pillow, and I retreated to the couch. We repeated the same action the next day, and it was like there was a giant clock over our heads, counting down the minutes until I’d need to give her another dose.

We spent the morning in the sunroom, but I coaxed her out of that room, mainly because I was going to lose my ever-loving mind if I had to look at another plant again. The den was always occupied by my brother, Lea, and Luke, but there was another sitting room upstairs that was full of books. I took her up there after grabbing a bag of chips and a grape soda for her to snack on.

I watched her move around the room, looking for signs that she was growing antsy. She stopped in front of a desk, picked up a pen and then placed it down. Her fingers roamed over the top of a notepad, and then she made her way to a bookcase. She stood there, brow pinched as she placed a finger on the spine of each book.

“Do you want to read something?” I asked.

She jumped at the sound of my voice, and then lowered her chin obediently.

I started toward her but stopped. Any unexpected movement seemed to send her fleeing. “It’s okay, Alex. If you want to read something you can.”

“My name is not Alex,” she whispered. “It is Alexandria.”

A dull burn started in my chest, under my heart. “But you like to be called Alex.”

Shaking her head, she backed away from the books and slowly headed toward the TV, eyes downcast. She stopped in front of the blank screen. I picked up a small statue of Athena, and then placed it back down. I wanted to go to her, to hold her, but I wasn’t sure how she’d respond. Everything between us was stilted and awkward.

“Want to watch something?”

Her chin shot up, but she didn’t look at me. At her sides, her hands opened and closed. “May I?”

May I?Gods, when Alex was better, she was going to flip out. “You can do what you want.”

A small, tentative smile pulled at her lips and her lashes swept up, revealing those shattered eyes. I breathed out slowly, but it did nothing to ease the pressure clamping down on my chest. Her gaze flickered away from mine. “Will you—”

The door opened and Apollo strolled in. “There you two are.”

Alex froze in front of the TV, like a wild animal that had just been encroached upon. Then she dashed across the room, ducking behind me. She huddled there, clenching the back of my shirt.

Apollo stopped short, blond eyebrows shooting up. “Did she just hidebehind you?”

I glared at the god. “She’s not the same. You know that.”

He blinked all-white eyes. “I know. It’s just unexpected. She’s like a little nymph or something.”

Hearing the word “nymph” come out of Apollo’smouth grated at my self-control. “What do you want?’

Apollo cocked his head to the side and spoke low. “Testy, testy, Aiden.”

Her fingers dug into my back. I moved to the side, shielding her completely. If Apollo had had normal eyes, I was sure they would’ve rolled at that point. Ignoring him, I smiled down at her. “It’s okay. Apollo won’t hurt you.”

Or at least I hoped so.

Alex peered up at me through her lashes. For the first time since she’d Awakened, I saw trust in her expression. Warmth poured into the cold cavern where my heart rested. I’d never seen an indentured half-blood look upon their Master that way. It had to mean something.

Apollo cleared his throat. “And I see some things never change.”

I frowned. “What’s that mean?”

“Oh, you know, the googly-eyed looks of love. Even when someone—ahem, like me, a god—is standing right in front of you two.”

I rolled my eyes, prepared to ignore that comment, but Alex tugged on my shirt. “What does he mean by that?” she whispered.

How was I supposed to answer? The fact that Alex didn’t remember a lot was key to keeping her away from Seth, but I wasn’t sure how much information to share with her. And she was actually asking a question, which was huge. “I’ll explain it later.”

Apollo chuckled. “I’d love to hear that conversation.” My eyes narrowed, and he grinned. Sometimes I think his sole purpose was to get under my skin. “There’s been a development I believe you should be aware of.”

I doubted it was good news. I started to respond, but Alex tugged on my shirt once more and whispered, “My head hurts.”

“I’ll get you something for that in a few moments. Okay?”

Casting her eyes down, she nodded.

I wanted this to hurry up. Shifting to the side, I shielded Alex. “Does it have to do with. the other one?”

Catching that I meant Seth, he nodded. “He’s not happy about not being able to make contact. Dionysus’ spies have said that both he and the Minister are growing agitated.”

“I bet.” No one really knew how Seth would react once the bond was broken. I felt Alex peek around me. She was watching Apollo with large eyes. He grinned at her, and she gave him a hesitant smile. “Has he done something?” I asked.

“Hmm, if you count obliterating two Sentinels who refused to join their cause? Then yes.”

“Gods,” I murmured, shifting again when Alex moved behind me.

Apollo craned his neck to the side, following Alex’s nervous movements. “They haven’t moved against the Tennessee Covenant yet, but about fifty of their Sentinels have broken away and appear to be heading toward the New York one. He’s with the Minister still.”

“And if they make it to New York, what will happen?”

His expression turned grim. “I’ve let a few things out of Olympus, just in case those Sentinels are up to no good.”

Dread blossomed. “What few things?”

“A few of Hephaestus’ most interesting creations—namely the Khalkotauroi.”

I choked on my breath. I had to have heard him wrong. The Khalkotauroi were automations—bronze bulls that breathed fire—but they weren’t what were known in the myth of Jason and the Golden Fleece. First off, there weren’t just two of them. There were hundreds of them, and they walked on two legs. Like all the creatures that belong to the gods, they had been rounded up and sent to Olympus when the gods had retreated from the mortal world.

“And what happens if a mortal sees them?”

Apollo arched a brow. “The Khalkotauroi know how to stay hidden, but if New York—or any of the other Covenants—goes under siege, it will be a moot point. The mortal world will become well aware that some myths are true.”

There really wasn’t anything else to say to that, and my mind was already occupied with too many concerns to dedicate time to this latest development. Apollo left, but not before trying to talk to an edgy Alex who wanted nothing to do with him, much to his amusement. It amazed me that the whole world was on the brink of war and Apollo was laughing.

Granted, this probably wasn’t his first time at the rodeo.

When Apollo left, she stared up at me, expression pinched. “My head… it hurts.”

“I’ll get you something now.”

As I left to find her some aspirin, she followed, never straying too far from my side. Taking the two pills without question, I realized then how such trust could be abused—and was with many other halfs—in the wrong hands. A sick and twisted kind of fear rose with that realization.

The aspirin didn’t seem to work. Alex withdrew further into herself, eyes squeezed shut through most of the movie I’d put on. A dark voice picked up in the back of my head, remaining constant even after she’d fallen asleep and I carried her to bed, her weight seeming nonexistent. Her headache was a sign.

The Elixir was wearing off. Tomorrow would be the fourth day.

The thought of giving her another dose chipped away at me. Hours passed as I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, watching the thin slips of moonlight reach across the darkness. The quilt twisted with my legs as I flipped onto my side. Could I do it again? Hand her something that destroyed her very core and watch her take it with that innate trust in her eyes?

I squeezed my eyes shut, folding my arms beneath my head. There was no other choice. Apollo needed to find a way, because she couldn’t do it on her own. Sleep finally claimed me, but it didn’t last long.

I was jolted awake later. Darkness cloaked the room and the couch felt infinitely smaller than before. The scent of… peaches surrounded me. Something warm and soft pressed against my side, wiggling closer. Hands clenched the old t-shirt I’d dug up the day before.

My eyes flew open.

The top of Alex’s head came into view as she placed her cheek on my chest and let out a little sigh. Every muscle in my body locked up. Was I dreaming? I think I stopped breathing. What was she doing over here, on the couch. with me?

“Alex?” My voice sounded gruff. “What are you doing?”

She lifted her head enough that I could see the shreds of amber peeking out from behind her lashes. The shattered eyes were the damndest thing to see at night. “My head hurts.”

I started to sit up, but Alex shifted, throwing a leg over mine as if she was asking me not to move without saying a word.

“Uh…” I’d never been more unsure in my life, or unable to read a person. “Do you want me to get you some more aspirin?”

“No.” She placed her head on my chest again, snuggling down. “It feels better now. Empty.”

I swallowed. Hard. “Empty?”

“Mmm-hmm,” she murmured, shivering. “It’s quieter when I’m near you.”

My heart stuttered. “Quieter? Are you hearing things? A person?”

“I don’t know. It’s like…” She yawned, splaying her hand across my chest. “It’s like someone talking to me far, far away. Does that make me.?”

Seth. Anger surged through me and I fought to keep it out of my voice. “What?”

“Crazy? Does that make me crazy?”

“Not at all, agapi”I lowered one arm and reached down, tugging the quilt up so it covered most of her. “Can you make out what the voice is saying?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to know. I don’t have to, do I?”

“No.” I ached for her.

“Good,” she said, and I wondered if she smiled. “Can I stay with you?”

“Always.” Good gods, I didn’t want her to be anywhere else.

Silence fell between us, and her breathing became steady and deep. So the headaches were a sign of Seth trying to contact her, which explained the brief flashes of pain I’d seen before the Elixir and confirmed my suspicions all along. The connection hurt somehow. And now the bond was muted, but it meant she definitely needed another dose tomorrow.

A new wave of fury rolled through me, but I kept my body relaxed, not wanting to frighten her. I’d truly believed that Seth had grown to care for Alex, perhaps even love her in his own way—whatever way that was. Especially after Caleb died, he’d cared for her, protected her when I hadn’t. In New York, he watched over her and would’ve killed without a thought to make sure no one learned that she’d killed a pure in self-defense. Had it all been a ruse? An act to ensure that Alex would live so that she could Awaken, giving him the power of a god-killer?

Yeah, I’d never fully trusted the punk, moments when I’d seen something I could never name in his cold eyes—eyes that had belonged to Alex for a period of time. Something about him set off my warning system and pissed me off like nothing else. That could’ve just been his interest in Alex, but still.

I’d never expected him to hurt her.

If I ever got my hands on that little bastard, I was going to kill him or die trying.

But right now, Alex was lying beside me, and hell if I was going to think about Seth. Very carefully, I lowered my left arm and wrapped it around her too-slender waist. There was another soft sigh from her. She seemed incredibly small beside me. How could I’ve not noticed that in the past? Maybe because all I ever saw was her strength.

I could’ve suggested that she go back to the bed or that both of us move there, but I didn’t have the heart or desire to move her. Not when she was close to me like this, pulling loose bittersweet and tender memories. I flicked through the days spent in my parents’ house and the brief time in Ohio.

Alex murmured something and tipped her head back, brushing the tip of her nose along my chin and jaw. A wealth of warmth spread through me and before I knew what I was doing, I turned my head. My lips brushed her forehead.

“G’night, Aiden…”

My pulse sped up and a smile pulled at my lips—a real one. “Good night, agapi”

CHAPTER 8

ALEX TOOK THE ELIXIR AND THE COMPULSION WITHOUT protest the following morning. Four days later, she did so again. Each time, I was more affected by the process than she was. Alex didn’t really understand what I was giving her, only that afterward I spoke to her in Greek and she was generally tired.

But with each passing day, a little of her old self shone through while we were alone. Her typical sharp tongue was still absent, much to my dismay. Who could’ve known how badly I’d miss her smartass responses? She did smile more often and even though she rarely left my side, she didn’t freak out too badly when Lea and Luke popped in on us one day. They were good with Alex, if not a little shocked by how different she was. They didn’t stay too long.

I think it scared them—seeing how very real the Elixir was, what it could do to them. How it stripped Alex down to nothing more than a shell. I caught Lea staring at her once, and it was clear what she was thinking. This could be me. She was seeing herself in Alex’s dull, shattered eyes.

By the third day, the headaches started, and each time she looked at me and mentioned the pain, I wanted to break each of Seth’s ribs individually.

A sort of routine developed between us while we waited for Apollo to show, hopefully with good news. We spent the day together and at night she eventually made her way over to the couch. Admittedly it was my favorite part of the day. The bed was still off-limits. There was an intimacy to that, one I desired and had a hell of a time refusing, but with her like this, it would’ve crossed the line.

Alex pulled out the chessboard and placed it on the coffee table while I watched her. Gods, I loved just watching her. Sounded creepy as hell, I know, but my eyes just sought her out. There was a gracefulness about her that she’d retained, even after three doses.

“Play?” She plopped down on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.

I’d been teaching her how to play chess. When I nodded and moved to sit on the floor, she grabbed one of the pawns and placed it in the row closest to her.

Teaching her how to play wasn’t really going well.

When she looked away, I reached over, replacing the pawn with a knight. Clasping her hands under her chin, she listened while I went over the rules again. Once I was finished, she went first, moving a pawn forward one space.

I tried picturing playing chess with Alex in a different time, like a month ago. Imagining her sitting still long enough and having the patience for a game like chess was impossible. Knowing her, she’d have thrown a chess piece by now. I laughed.

Alex’s chin jerked up and she grinned. “What?”

“Nothing,” I told her.

Still smiling, she crawled over and sat beside me, then reached across the board, moving another pawn right into position to be taken by mine. I laughed again. “You can’t sit next to me and play chess, agapi”

Her shoulders lifted. “I like sitting beside you.”

And I liked it, too. I moved a pawn forward, not taking hers.

“I like when you laugh, too.” She placed a finger to her lips, her brows furrowing as she studied the board. “I think I just like you.”

My mouth opened but nothing came out.

“Sometimes I feel… I feel like I should be doing more,” she picked up a rook, “than this. With my life.” She placed it back and looked up, searching my face. “With you, too.”

I knew I needed to say something, but there was too much I wanted to say.

She scooted closer and rested her head on my shoulder. A heartbeat passed. “I have these memories. They are like dreams. Some are really good and others are dark and red.” She rubbed her cheek against my shoulder. “I know there is more… to all of this.”

“There is,” I whispered, watching her lashes fan her cheeks, her lips part.

“I like this. I like when you hold me at night. That feels right… real.” She paused, lashes lifting. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” My voice sounded, felt heavy.

Alex raised her head, lips puckered. “I have a feeling you do not say that often.”

My breath caught. A ball of emotion formed in my chest. “I don’t.”

“Do you like it?” She gazed at the board, her fingers now hovering over the wrong pieces.

“Of course I do, agapi”I slid an arm around her shoulders and leaned over, pressing my lips against her temple, then her forehead. Her cheeks rose with her smile and so did my chest, and that ball tightened and tightened. I pressed my face into the mass of wavy hair and inhaled.

Apollo had said he knew what this kind of love was capable of. And I finally understood why Paris had risked his country and his blood for Helen. Selfish, yes, but I understood. I would burn down the world if that meant Alex would be safe.

“Knock, knock,” came Deacon’s voice.

Alex stiffened.

Pulling away from her, I looked up. He stood in the door, a slight smile on his face. Withdrawing my arm, I stood, surprised to find my legs weak.

Alex’s eyes bounced from my brother to me and she must’ve read something in my eyes, because she relaxed and went back to the chessboard.

“What’s up?” I asked.

He sauntered into the room. “What’s up with you?”

My lips twitched. “Playing chess with Alex.”

“Stimulating.” Deacon watched Alex move her chess pieces around the board in no particular order. “Luke’s been in contact with Olivia.

She’s with her mom and they’ve hooked up with Laadan. They want to come here.”

“If they are with Laadan, then I trust them. Clear it with Marcus, though.”

“I like Marcus.” Alex stood and drifted over to me.

Deacon arched a brow. “Now, that’s odd…”

“Deacon,” I warned.

Alex smiled up at me, holding a bishop in her hand. “Checkmate?”

He chortled. “Good gods, she’s like Rain Man.”

Anger whipped through me so fast I saw red, and then Alex frowned. “Is this ‘Rain Man’ a good thing?” she asked.

Taking a step toward my idiot brother, I exploded. “Get the hell out of here before I strangle you within an inch of your life.”

Eyes wide, Deacon’s hands flew up. “Whoa, I was just kidding. I mean, come on, she’s pretty random now.”

Rage swept through me. He was my brother. I loved him, but dammit, he never thought before he spoke. Voice low, I said, “Do you even know how insulting that is to Alex?”

He blinked, his cheeks flushing. “I wasn’t thinking—”

“No shit.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, Aiden. I’m sorry.” His gaze went behind me and he frowned. “I really am.”

Taking a deep breath, I let the red-hot anger slip off my brittle skin. “I know. It’s just that…” There was no need to finish. Deacon knew. “I didn’t mean to… yell at you. Just let Marcus know about Laadan and Olivia. Okay?”

Deacon looked like he wanted to say more, but wisely nodded and backed out of the room.

Sighing, I turned around. “Alex—”

The spot she’d stood in was empty. Dammit. I should’ve known better. Yelling and threatening to choke the ever-loving crap out of Deacon in front of her hadn’t been wise. I kept forgetting that this wasn’t Alex.

This was a frightened girl.

My eyes scanned the room, stopping on the linen closet door. It was ajar, revealing a thin strip of darkness. She wouldn’t…

To think of Alex—my strong, beautiful and resilient Alex—hiding in a closet killed me. For a heartbeat, I couldn’t move or breathe. I’d done this to her—given her the Elixir, changed her into something that ran when voices were raised. And I wanted to blame Seth for his influence, the bond he’d forged with her that’d led us to this choice, but I’d been the one who’d forced the Elixir down her throat.

There wasn’t forgiveness for me.

Stamping down the whirling mix of grief and rage, I made my way to the closet and slowly opened the double doors. It was a deep closet, with several shelves on the top stocked with quilts. A few garment bags hung from a rail. My gaze dropped. Five tiny toes peeked out from behind a bag.

I closed my eyes and swore under my breath, and then I eased the bags apart. Alex’s foot jerked back, and I could hear her moving deeper into the recesses. Kneeling down, I found her pressed against the wall, knees tucked against her chest and eyes wide.

“Oh, Alex.”

She watched me warily. “My name is Alexandria.”

And just like that, all those days of drawing her out of the Elixir-induced shell were lost.

“Okay.” I sat down cross-legged and dragged my fingers through my hair, debating on how to proceed with this. Deacon used to get nightmares when he was a kid. He hadn’t hidden in the closet, but he hadscreamed like a furie. I used to read to him. Somehow I doubted that would work now. “Are you all right?”

A moment passed. “I do not like yelling.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” And I was. “But I would never hurt Deacon. He’s my brother.”

Confusion flickered over her face. “You said you were going to strangle him.”

I really wanted to strangle him now. “I didn’t mean it. Sometimes we say things we don’t mean when we’re upset.”

She appeared to consider that. “When you yelled, I saw something.”

“What?” I inched forward, careful not to startle her. “What did you see?”

Opening her hands, she stared down at them. The bishop was in her hand, leaving behind angry red marks from how tightly she’d been holding it. “Blood—there was blood on my hands, but it was not there. Not really.”

I had no idea what she meant by that, but I’d moved to her side while she’d been talking, and she hadn’t seemed to notice. I sat next to her, stretching out my legs in the cramped space. My shoulder brushed hers, and her eyes shot to my face, questioning and indecisive but not scared.

“Is there still blood on your hands now?”

Alex shook her head. “I heard something, too. It was a voice,” she continued softly. “It was important.”

My stomach sank. I didn’t like where this was going, what it would lead to. If she was starting to remember things, it meant she’d need another dose, another compulsion. And I’d just given the last dose two days ago. I sighed. “What is it?”

Her fingers twisted along the edges of the bishop. “You’ll kill the ones you love.” She lifted her gaze. Tears glistened in her eyes. “Have I?”

“Alex…” There weren’t words for this. Her lower lip started to tremble, and my heart squeezed. My mind was made up. “No. You’ve never killed anyone.”

She blinked and her voice was just a hushed whisper. “I haven’t?”

“No, agapi mou, you haven’t.”

Wiping under her eyes with her sleeves, she sighed. Pain brimmed underneath the surface, as did confusion. “I dream that I have, over and over again.”

I smiled for her even as I felt my chest constricting. “They’re just dreams. That’s all.”

Several moments passed, and then she pressed against me, wiggling until she wedged her body under my arm. She curled up, her head resting against my chest and my arms folded across hers. “You are very nice, even if you say mean things you do not mean.”

I shook my head, but I wrapped my arms around her. “Did I ever tell you about the first time I saw you?”

She shivered. “No.”

Closing my eyes, I felt her snuggle closer. My hand curled into the thick material of her sweater. I rested my chin on her head. “I was sixteen and you were probably fourteen.”

“I can’t remember fourteen.”

“That’s okay. I remember for both of us.” I counted to ten before I continued, making sure my voice didn’t give. “It was toward the end of the day and I was heading into the training rooms with a friend. Classes were still going on, and I was walking by the door—it was open—and I heard laughter. Something you don’t usually hear during training. I had to stop and see what was going on.”

It was the first time I’d seen her. No one could miss her. She was the smallest in the room, shorter and skinnier than all of her opponents, but that wasn’t why she stuck out. There’d been this impish grin on her face, an energy that was infectious as she’d bounced around the mats, circling a tall, blond-haired boy. The Instructor had been irritated, no doubt by her and the attention she was drawing from a pure and an entire class riveted on her. But once I’d seen her, I couldn’t look away. It was like being hit by lightning.

“You were training with Cal—with a friend—going through takedown moves. He kept trying to get the upper hand, but you kept laying him out, laughing the entire time. Both of you were laughing. That’s why I looked.”

“Did you know me then?” she asked sleepily.

“No.” I held her closer, as if I could somehow pull her inside me and keep her safe. “But I knew, in that moment, you were amazing.”