Текст книги "Elixir"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 5 страниц)

CHAPTER 3

I WORKED AT KEEPING MY EXPRESSION BLANK AND MY temper in check, but anger was tearing through me, shredding my control. It took everything in me not to leave the room and go downstairs to keep vigil over Alex.

Solos eyed me and cleared his throat. “I was under the impression that only the Apollyons can kill one another.”

My hands balled into fists as Apollo turned to me. “You know.”

Now Marcus and Solos stared at me, and I wanted to shove my hand through a wall. “The Order of Thanatos killed Solaris and the First. Somehow they know how to do it, which means wouldn’t the gods?”

Dionysus laughed. “Thanatos gifted the Order with the ability—a code or something—but even Thanatos can’t recall what it was. There were never supposed to be two Apollyons—never the possibility of a God Killer. Thinking it wouldn’t be needed again, he didn’t write it down. Idiot.”

Should I feel bad for being relieved?

“The Order knows, but with Telly’s death, they’ve scattered. Not to mention that some of the Sentinels under Lucian aren’t hunting daimons anymore.” Apollo paused and glanced at the door. “They’ve begun hunting members of the Order.”

“Good gods.” Marcus strode to the window. Stopping, he dragged his fingers through his hair. “I don’t even know which is worse.”

There was the distinct impression that there was more. After a few more barbs directed at Apollo, Dionysus vanished, and a little bit of the pressure seeped from the room. “Is he on our side?” I asked.

Apollo laughed dryly. “Yes, but not because he feels the way we do. Only because he’s too lazy to engage in battle.”

Well, that was good for something. I sighed. “There is more, isn’t there? And it has to do with Alex.”

“Yes.” He looked toward the door again, eyes narrowing. Turning back to me, he nodded. The message was clear—the same one look we’d shared a dozen times over the years, when he’d been known as Leon. We had spies. Hands fisting at my sides, I stalked toward the door while Solos continued to gain information from Apollo about the Sentinels hunting the Order.

Two narrow shadows crept along the wall of the hallway, and I was sure the two thought they had James Bond stealth. More like two of the Three Stooges. How long had they been standing outside the room, and was I going to strangle them both? Possibly. I stepped out.

Deacon jumped back, knocking into an equally unprepared Luke. One would think, after all Luke’s training, he would’ve recovered a lot quicker, but things were different now. The Covenant hadn’t trained their students to face what was coming.

A sheepish look crossed my brother’s face as he straightened and ran a hand through the mess of blond curls. Instead of being angry over him eavesdropping, I was just relieved that he was here with me, when things seemed to be crashing down around us.

“Hey, there, brother…” he said.

I arched a brow. “Deacon, what are you doing?”

Luke’s shoulders squared, and then he stepped in front of Deacon. “It was my idea, Aiden.”

“Not really.” Deacon rolled his eyes. “I felt the presence of another god and I told Luke—”

“But I suggested that we try to find out what’s going on.” Luke drew in a deep breath. “You guys have been keeping us out of the loop on everything, and this stuff involves us, too.”

“Probably because it’s safer that way for you,” I pointed out.

Luke shook his head. “Honestly, considering how screwed-up everything is right now? With Evil Alex locked up in the basement and a warbrewing, keeping us safe isn’t a top priority. We should know what’s going on. We could help.”

My respect for the young half-blood fought to show itself in the form of a smile. “How could you two help?”

“We haven’t quite figured that part out yet,” Deacon replied, leaning against the wall. “But I’m sure there’s something. And I think Lea’s going to kick our asses if she’s forced to spend one more evening with us.”

I frowned. “Where is Lea?”

The half-blood had been through enough, and all of us had been keeping an eye on her. First, she’d lost her father and stepmother in a daimon attack orchestrated by Alex’s mother, and then Seth had killed her sister during his attack on the Council. I knew her ties to those deaths had gotten to Alex.

“Sleeping,” my brother answered, craning his neck, trying to see around me. “Which god was here?”

There was no reason to keep that a secret. “Dionysus.”

“Dude? Are you serious?” Deacon looked crestfallen. “He’s like my favorite god of all time.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Luke muttered.

And it didn’t surprise me either. Even though Deacon had substantially cut back on the drinking, he could easily be mistaken for Dionysus’ soul-twin.

I had a decision to make—send them away or treat them like the adults they almost were. Luke was—or had been—months shy of graduation. Soon he would’ve been out in the world hunting daimons, but part of me balked at the idea of drawing Deacon into this further than he already was.

But I couldn’t baby Deacon for the rest of his life. Perhaps I’d done too much of that already, which might explain some of his previous behavior and why he didn’t feel comfortable talking to me about his relationship with Luke.

I nodded. “Come on.”

Both of them looked like I’d just professed my love for Seth, but they shot forward as if worried I’d change my mind. Following them into the den, I rolled my eyes when Apollo arched a brow.

“Okay,” Apollo said, looking around the room. “Now that everyone who is anyone is here, we have one more thing to discuss.”

Luke grinned as he moved to stand beside Solos, and my brother went to the chair furthest away from Apollo. I couldn’t figure out his aversion to Apollo, and dear gods, if those twohad something going on, I might have to hurt someone.

“Alex,” Marcus said, leaning against the desk. His right hand absently spun a nearby globe.

Apollo grimaced, and I knew this was going to be bad. “The only hope we have of preventing a full-scale war is if Alex. comes around and agrees to take out Seth.”

In the past, Alex never would’ve agreed to that, but now? If we could somehow reach her and break the bond, would she go after Seth? And did I even want her to? She could get hurt… die. As a Sentinel, I needed to accept those risks, but as a man, I couldn’t when it came to Alex.

“We have found a way to break the bond. temporarily,” Apollo continued. He blinked, and bright blue irises appeared. I had to look away, because it reminded me of how Alex hated the god eyes and how Apollo toned them down for her. “It will give us time to find a permanent solution.”

Everything centered on what Apollo had just said. A temporary break in the connection was better than nothing. The rush of anticipation couldn’t be stopped and it almost knocked me on my ass. “What temporary fix?”

“You’re not going to like it—none of you are going to like it—but it’s the only option that we have at this point.”

My hands flexed. “Just get on with it. What’s the fix?”

Apollo’s brows furrowed. I was pretty sure that if it weren’t for the friendship we’d cultivated during hunts, he would’ve blasted my ass by now. “I’ve spoken with Ananke—”

“No,” Marcus said before I could open my mouth. He pushed off the desk. “There is only one reason why you’d be speaking with Ananke, and the answer is no.”

The god folded his arms and the way his entire face hardened, I could tell he wasn’t used to being told no. “I know that the thought is unsavory.”

A hot rush of rage twisted my insides into raw knots. “‘Unsavory’ isn’t a word I’m shooting for,” I grated out.

“Okay, I don’t get it.” Deacon brushed the flop of blond curls out of his eyes and frowned. “I’m totally failing Myths and Legends. Who in the hell is Ananke?”

The fondness in Luke’s voice ruined his smirk. “Besides the fact that she’s the momma of the Fates and of destiny, she rules over compulsion and all forms of slavery and bondage—bondage as in imprisonment.”

“Our ability to use compulsion is gifted from Ananke,” Marcus explained, eyes narrowed. “She’s a lesser-known goddess, practically forgotten.”

“Except that she was the one to come up with the Elixir that keeps halfs in servitude docile.” Solos’ jaw hardened.

Deacon looked at Apollo, his nose wrinkling. “Then why are you contacting a goddess that…?” His mouth dropped open. “Oh. Shit. You want to put Alex on the Elixir.”

I folded my arms to keep from hitting something. “No. Apollo, absolutely not.”

“I don’t even see why we’re discussing this.” Solos headed around the couch, wisely avoiding the area around me. I was like a geyser seconds away from erupting. He stopped beside Marcus. “The Elixir won’t work on the Apollyon, right?”

“Not the kind that we give half-bloods, but Alex would be receiving something different.” Apollo paused. “She’d be getting something stronger. Ananke has assured me that it would break the bond, and the effects would only be temporary. It’s not the same thing that’s done to the others.”

“It’s not? Because it sounds like it is to me.” The idea of putting Alex on the Elixir turned my stomach and pissed me off. “I can’t do that.”

Apollo opened his mouth but seemed to be choosing what to say. “We have to break the bond, Aiden. At some point, Alex will discover where she is. Then what? Seth will come for her and transfer her power to him, and it will be all over. There will be no second chances.”

“There has to be another way!” My control snapped. In that instant I was this closeto finding out if I could actually take out a god. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I knew Apollo was trying to help us—help Alex. I didn’t doubt that the god cared for her. “We just haven’t looked hard enough, checked every available resource.”

“Where else can we look, Aiden?” Apollo faced me, eyes wide. “I have turned Olympus inside out looking for a way to break their bond. The only thing is the Elixir and—”

“No.” I held my ground.

Apollo looked around the room for help. Solos stepped back, raising his hands. “Don’t look at me—I’d like to keep my face in one piece, thank you.”

I smirked.

Clearly struggling for patience, Apollo paced the den. “This is only a temporary solution, Aiden.”

“That solution is unacceptable!” I yelled so loudly that Deacon jumped. He’d been on the receiving end of my anger time and time again, but the surprise flickering across his face told me he’d never quite seen me like this before. How I felt for Alex, if there was any doubt held by those in the room, was now painfully visible. “You’re asking us to agree to strip away everythingthat she is! To turn her into a mindless zombie who has no control—” I broke off, sucking in a shallow breath. It was Alex’s greatest fear. The thing that had kept her up at night, that had haunted her steps like a vengeful ghost. “She would have no control.”

“She has no control now,” insisted a soft feminine voice.

I spun around. Lea stood in the doorway, as tall and thin as her older half-sister had been. Her cinnamon-colored hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. Dark shadows spread under her eyes and her cheeks were gaunt.

“You don’t understand,” I said.

She inched into the room, glancing at Apollo and then the rest of us. “I haven’t seen her, but I’ve heard her. We’ve allheard her. And the gods know that she and I have never been friends, but Alex—she never would’ve said the things I’ve heard her yelling. That isn’t her.”

Pressing my lips together, I turned away, shaking my head. Lea had a point. What was down in the basement wasn’t really Alex—not the girl I loved with every breath I took. And she wasn’t in control of herself.

But the Elixir—that was different.

Lea sat beside Deacon, folding her small hands in her lap. “The idea of using the Elixir screams wrongon every level, but what choice do we have? We can’t keep her down there.”

“She’s not eating,” murmured Marcus. He rubbed his brow, face strained. “I’m not sure she’s even really sleeping or if… if she’s communicating with Seth, and that’s what’s keeping her up.”

I stared at him. “Marcus, you know how terrified she was of being put on the Elixir.”

Unable to hold my stare, he looked away. “I know, Aiden. Dammit, I know, but something’s got to give. As much as I hate the idea of doing this to her, it will give us more time.”

Refusing to believe that this was our last option, I searched frantically for another way and grasped at brittle, painful straws. “What about the Fates? Can you go to them and see what the outcome is? If she will break the connection herself? Or if there is some way for us to do so?”

Apollo shook his head. “The Fates are no fans of mine, and even if they were and if they knew, they wouldn’t tell me or you. You know how they work, Aiden. You—”

“You know what this will do to her!” I roared, flushing hot with fury.

“I know what this will do to you,” he said quietly. “And I know the idea of doing this is killing you—”

“Stop—just stop,” I seethed, backing up. “I will not let any of you do this to her. So help me…”

The threat hung in the air like thick smoke that choked the occupants of the room. Marcus just looked sad, almost beaten down by it all. Solos was pale, probably because he thought Apollo was seconds away from knocking me through the wall. Lea and Luke stared at the floor, faces drawn. Did the two younger halfs feel the sharp bite of guilt for agreeing that Alex needed the Elixir, knowing what it would do, what it would mean?

They were too young for this—for this shit.

So was Alex.

So was I.

Hell.

The only person in the room who now watched me was my brother. A faint, sad smile appeared on his face. “Alex would kick our asses for considering something like this, but. I think she would understand, Aiden. I think she would understand why.”

Then Marcus stepped forward, placing his hand on my shoulder. I fought the urge to shake it off. And to hit him—to hit something. But he was suffering, too. “There was another thing that Alex feared.” His voice was so low I doubted anyone besides Apollo could hear him. “And you know what that was.”

I did. Gods, did I ever know.

Alex feared losing herself to the First—to Seth. And I’d promised her, sworn that it would never happen. And it had. I’d failed her. The sting of that festered and rotted inside me, but agreeing to the Elixir was no better. It would be just another way I’d failed her.

Stepping away from Marcus, I dragged my fingers through my hair. No one really talked for a few moments. The silence was as bad as my threat. Finally, everyone started talking, tossing around more ideas. “Take out Seth” topped their list, but it wasn’t possible. “Move Alex further away”—maybe that would lessen the connection, give her breathing room, give us time to search for more runes and spells and prayers.

The best efforts just added to the hopelessness of the situation.

Apollo finally approached me. “We need to talk in private.”

I wanted him to just leave, but I nodded, and we slipped out and headed toward the empty kitchen. My steps were quick and harsh. “There is no way you’ll be able to convince me that putting Alex on a souped-up version of the Elixir is the right thing to do.”

He closed the door with the wave of his hand before speaking. “I know you feel strongly for her.”

I met his stare. “I love her. You don’t get that.”

“No. I do. You forget that I was with you when you hunted down Eric. I saw what no one else did—how affected you were by what had happened to Alex. And I know what you did to that daimon.”

My jaw clenched and I looked away. “He deserved it.”

“I’m not contesting that.”

What I had done to Eric wasn’t something I was particularly proud of. “Torture” seemed too light of a word for what I’d done. I swallowed hard. “What are you getting at, Apollo?”

He tilted his head to the side. “The kind of love you hold for Alex is admirable, but I’ve seen this love before. It has brought down entire civilizations. Need I remind you of Troy?”

“Is this a history lesson?”

His eyes flashed. “Okay. We won’t talk about the glaring elephant in the room, Aiden.”

“Good.”

“I haven’t been entirely forthcoming with information,” he said after a few moments.

I laughed darkly. “Why doesn’t that surprise me? You’ve been a fountain of honesty.”

Apollo ignored that. “Since Zeus created the Apollyon thousands of years ago, the First has always been of my lineage.”

“What?” I wasn’t following him. “Artemis said that Alexwas of your lineage.”

“She is.” He moved to the rack of wine and popped a cork. “But throughout history, the Apollyon always has been an offspring of mine. To this day, I have no knowledge of who Solaris was descended from and I don’t know who Seth hails from. This time—only this time—has been different.” Pausing, he poured himself a glass. “Seth is the First, but he is not one of mine. Somehow, another god is responsible for him. And I’d bet my laurel crown that this same god was responsible for Solaris.”

He offered me a drink and I waved him off. “Are you saying Alex was meant to be the First and Seth was the fluke?”

Apollo shrugged. “I don’t know. And none of the gods are claiming responsibility for him.”

“Well, obviously,” I said dryly.

A smirk graced his lips as he placed the wine back in the rack and then took a drink. “That’s not the kicker, Aiden. Whoever is responsible for Seth is not claiming him for their own reason—the same reason that Lucian would know spells to keep me out of his home.”

“You think a god is working with Lucian—the same god of Seth’s lineage?”

“Most likely,” he said, downing the glass of wine. “But there’s another reason why that god would not stand up. Because he or she would know that there is another way to kill the Apollyon.”

A sheet of ice slipped over me. “What are you saying, Apollo?”

“The god linked to their bloodline is able to kill them. I can kill Alex.”

CHAPTER 4

THE FLOOR SEEMED TO MOVE UNDER MY FEET AND THE walls changed from white paint to deep brown paneling. It took me a few moments to realize that I was walking—walking away from Apollo, away from the bomb he’d just dropped.

Of course he followed. “Aiden, where are you going?”

I was heading for the basement. I needed to put myself between Alex and… and whoever came for her.

Apollo appeared in front of me, blocking my route. I stepped to the side, but he followed. “Aiden, listen to me.”

“I’m done listening.”

“This is not a threat, my friend. But if she is about to connect with the First, I will put her down. I have to—” He caught my fist, pushing me back. “The entire world hinges on us not going to war.”

I stepped toward him, beyond thinking, and he pushed me back again. And again. Pain tore through me. Physical? Emotional? I didn’t know. “You’d kill her?”

“I wouldn’t want to.” The blue of his eyes glowed. “And that’s why I’m doing everything to avoid that. Putting her on the Elixir gives us time, Aiden. And we need time. Ineed time, because I have six family members ready to rip into the mortal world. I cannot be here, waiting for Alex to manage an escape or for Seth to figure out a way to connect with her.”

“No one is asking you to be here, Apollo. I have it covered.”

He shot me a dubious look. “You’re not getting it. The gods know they can’t kill her, but that doesn’t mean that will stop them from trying. And while they might not be able to kill her, they willharm her.”

Leaning against the wall, I pressed the heels of my hands against my temples. All I wanted was to go down there, get Alex, and take her far away from all of this. “You’re asking too much.”

Apollo sighed. “You need to take a step back from this, Aiden. Look at this from the perspective of a Sentinel—how you were trained.”

I lifted my head, pinning him with a dark look. “You’re asking me to be objective now?”

He barked a short laugh. “Yes, I know I’m not the most objective god, but you have a job to do, Aiden. A job to protect mankind—and to protect the Hematoi. That is your duty. And you know what the right thing to do is.”

“So I need to choose between my duty as a Sentinel and my duty as a man? To Alex?”

“Yes and no. You need to choose both.” Apollo leaned against the other wall, still towering over me, and I was a good six and a half feet. “Marcus is right. Apollyon or not, she can’t last much longer like this. Not eating? Not sleeping? Has she even been drinking water?”

I closed my eyes. “Twice. She drank water twice when she thought I wasn’t watching.”

He cursed under his breath. “She needs to rest. She needs a break from this, Aiden. And we need time to find a way to end this.”

“Or what—you will kill her?”

Apollo didn’t answer.

“Gods.” I listened to the feet of Sentinels on the floors above for a few moments. “Who knows about what you can do?”

“Only my sister Artemis and possibly Zeus—if he’s been paying attention, which is up in the air,” he said. “I have gotten the six to agree that if we put Alex on the Elixir they will back down. It’s not just about her, Aiden. It’s about millions of people.”

I nodded, pushing off the wall, pulling myself back together. Duty and love had never really mixed well before, but there’d always been an in-between. “I need time.”

“Aiden, we don’t have time.”

“I’m not asking for days. I’m just asking for tonight.” I started toward the basement door and paused. “I need to try one more time.”

“I can’t fault you for that.” He grinned. “I’ll give you tonight. Then I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

Nodding again, I opened the door. Apollo was gone when I glanced over my shoulder, and I was alone. Alone with a decision I knew I could never live with if I made it.

Alex was lying on the mattress, curled on her side, back to the door. She didn’t start demanding that I let her out or start cussing me like she’d done the last three days or so. She didn’t even acknowledge I was there.

Maybe she was sleeping, but my heart rate picked up as I reached into my pocket, pulling out one of the three keys to the door. “Alex?”

Nothing. Not even a flicker of a muscle.

Hopefully, she was sleeping, but my hands shook as I turned the lock and slipped inside, quickly closing and locking the door behind me. I called her name again as I slid the key back into my pocket. There was no answer, and by now, Alex would’ve been all over me like a daimon after aether.

Something was wrong.

I rushed to her side and knelt on the edge of the mattress. A mess of hair hid her face. Pulse pounding, I placed my hand on her still shoulder. “Alex, are—”

Flipping onto her back, she slammed her bare feet into my stomach. Air rushed out of my lungs in a grunt. I fell back, catching myself as she popped up on her feet.

Dammit. I should’ve known she was like a daimon playing possum.

With a near-feral sound, she came down on me, knees first. I flipped to the side, and I could’ve taken out her legs, but hurting her wasn’t something I would do. Hitting the floor beside me, she threw her leg over mine, locking it between her thighs.

My brows shot up. “What are you doing?”

“Shut up,” she hissed, grabbing my hand closest to her.

“Really, if you wanted to hold my hand and snuggle, all you had to do was ask.”

Anger flushed her cheeks as she rolled on top of me, straddling my legs. Silent and scowling, she went for my pocket.

I grabbed her wrist. “Geez, Alex, normally I’d love you being all grabby, but knock it off.”

She sneered as she tried to pull her arm free. “Didn’t know you were such a pervert.”

Smiling tightly, I twisted my other arm free and caught her hand when she tried to slam it into my throat. “You know exactly what I am.”

“Don’t remind me.” Using her weight and what strength she still had, she tore herself free. Scrambling to her feet, she balled her hands into fists. “Let me out of here, Aiden.”

I stood. “That’s not going to happen.”

Alex shot forward, shoving me back a step. “Give me the key. I have to go. I need to go to him.”

Hearing her say that pricked at my skin. “What you need to do is listento me.”

Her chest rose quickly and her eyes darted to the locked doors. She moved her left foot back an inch, and just like I’d taught her, she braced her weight on that leg and spun.

The kick was freaking perfect—knee bent at a ninety-degree angle to get the most oomph behind the extension—but I expected it. Using my forearm, I blocked the kick instead, using the momentum to send her crashing to the hard floor, hissing as hot pain jarred my bones.

Alex was incredibly fast when she wanted to be, even more as the Apollyon. Spinning around, she jabbed with her elbow and then the heel of her palm. Then she dipped, going for my legs—all maneuvers we’d played out hundreds of times. Fighting each other truly was like fighting ourselves.

Anticipating a butterfly kick, I darted behind her. She pivoted around, swinging her arm. Air rushed over my jaw as I ducked around her and wrapped my arm around her waist. I drew her back against my chest, jerking my head back to avoid hers.

“Let me go!” she screeched, wiggling like crazy. Her voice was pitched high, as if I was hurting her, but I knew I wasn’t. “Let go of me!”

“Alex, you need to listen to me.” Reasoning with her probably ranked right up there with insanity, but I had to give her a chance to pull out of this. “If you don’t break this connection with Seth, you’re not going to like what happens.”

“You’re not going to like what happens!” She threw her weight back, lifting her legs to her chest, but I held her easily. “Because I’m going to seriously hurt you when I get out of here. My first visit is going to be to your brother!”

“Stop it! Listen to me.” I cocked my head to the right, avoiding hers again. “The gods are going to war because of what Seth is doing.”

“Good! Let them bring it.” She laughed, lowering her feet to the floor. “We will destroy each of them. Starting with that idiot Apollo.”

I sighed, running out of patience. Yeah, I wasn’t as saintly as Seth claimed. “You can’t continue like th—”

Her elbow thrust into my stomach and she broke free. I sprang forward, catching her around the waist, and flipped her onto the mattress when I should’ve just dropped her on her head. It wasn’t like she’d repay me the same kindness.

Alex reared up, trying to hook her legs around my waist to roll me. I pressed down, using my weight to trap her lower body. Her hands flew at my face, fingers curved into claws. Snatching her wrists, I pinned them down above her head.

“Look at me,” I said, leaning down so that only a few inches separated our faces. “Look at me and listen.”

She started to turn her head, but I pressed my forehead against hers, trapping her. Her eyes squeezed shut and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about that.

Taking a deep breath, I willed for her to understand me. Just this once… “This isn’t you, Alex. You would never act like this. This isnt you.”

“Yes, it is!” Pain broke her voice as she arched again, almost throwing me off. “You’re just pissed because I don’t want you anymore. You’re jealous and obsessive.”

I ignored her words. “You’re letting Seth control you. Do you remember how afraid of that you were? How terrified that you’d lose yourself to him? What happened to that?”

She stilled except for the ragged fall and rise of her chest.

My eyes traced the contours of her face. “I swore to you that I wouldn’t let that happen, and I know I’ve failed you, but I’m not going to just give up, Alex. I’ll never give up on you.”

Her lips formed a tight line and a shudder rolled through her.

“You’ve always been so strong—unique. Only youcontrolled your life. No one made decisions for you. But this—not even questioning or fighting what’s happening—is weak”

Alex’s eyes flew open. “I am not weak.”

“Then prove it!” Dammit, I wanted to shake her. “Shut him out, just for a few minutes. I know you can. I know you worked for months on blocking him. Shut him out, Alex, and talk to me. Prove to me you’re not weak.”

Amber eyes churned, luminous and powerful. They were beautiful, like a god had placed two topaz jewels in her face, but I hated them. Hated what they meant and stood for. Hated that no matter what Alex had done—no matter what we’ddone—she’d connected with Seth anyway and lost herself within seconds.

“I know you can do it,” I said. “I know you have that strength in you, because that’s what I love about you most. Your strength is admirable—beautiful. It is who you are. And what you’ve become is not you.”

“Love?” she repeated the word as if it were foreign to her tongue.

My chest tightened and the words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. And dammit, I begged—something I’d never done before. “Please come back to me, Alex. Please. I love you too much to lose you. And I love you too much to allow what’s about to happen, but you’re leaving me no choice.”

Her lashes fluttered down and a heartbeat passed, then they reopened. I sucked in a breath, too astonished to feel or think anything other than the fact that her eyes were brown—warm, whiskey brown.

Her eyes werebrown.

“Alex…”

Face pale and lips trembling, her brows puckered. “I’m so sorry. Aiden, I lo—” A scream tore from her, and she arched clear off the mattress, eyes widening.

My heart stopped. “Alex?”

“I can’t… it’s everywhere. It… hurts. Aiden, please… make it stop… please…” She slumped back, whimpering and twisting, thrashing her head back and forth.

With my heart in my throat, I started to let up, but then her eyes opened again and I wanted to rage. Golden eyes stared back into mine. I’d almost had her—almost.

Alex went wild underneath me.

The erratic mix of emotions funneling inside me made it hard to wait this out. Hope crashed and burned into barb-tipped disappointment that eventually gave way to anger. Alex was in there and she was hurting. Five seconds of catching a glimpse of her and she’d been sucked right back into Seth. I didn’t know if I should be happy or sick to my soul.

Even with the lack of food and sleep, it still took a godsawful amount of time for her to tire herself out. She thrashed, screamed, kicked and even tried to bite me.

But finally, she grew weary and was panting. “Does this make you happy? Hurting me like this? Make you feel all big and bad?”