Текст книги "Nash"
Автор книги: Jay Crownover
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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 19 страниц)
She had tracks of tears on her pale face and curled into me with her head on my shoulder.
“Thank you.” Her voice was a husky breath of sound.
“For what?”
“For being you.”
So there it was. I put an arm around her shoulders and listened to people tell stories about how wonderful my dad was, how impactful he had been, and I thought when it was all said and done I would take his ashes somewhere up in the mountains, drive the Charger way too fast, and let him go. It was an ending he would approve of all the way around.
CHAPTER 18
Saint
After the funeral, Nash looked like he was going to fall over from lack of sleep and stress. His friend Cora and her dad, who had been friends with Phil while in the navy, were having a get-together at her house for everyone. I knew Nash was going to try and power through and go, but he needed to go to bed and recharge. I didn’t want to say anything, wasn’t sure it was my place, but when I mentioned how burned out he looked, Rule and Rome both agreed, and told me I should take him home and put him to bed. Rule said it more with a leer, which had his brother thunking him on the back of the head, but all the same, when Nash broke away from the group that had commandeered him, I let him gather me up and told him, “Take me home.”
He didn’t argue, didn’t question it, didn’t stop to tell everyone else what he was doing, just whisked me away to the Charger and took me back to the Victorian. Once we were inside, he started peeling off his dark clothing, which was a delightful sight to see for sure, but after he took a shower and shoved some food in his face, he was obviously dead on his feet, which didn’t leave room open for talking, let alone anything else that might have been on the agenda.
I kicked off the heels I had worn all day, cuddled up to his big, tattooed body and rubbed his shaved head, traced my fingers over the flames decorating his scalp and shoulders until his heavy chest started rising and falling in a steady rhythm. His dark lashes fluttered lightly against his tawny cheeks and I rubbed a thumb gently over his raven-colored eyebrows. He was beautiful, perfect, and stronger than anyone I had ever known. He was all mine. I would never take that for granted again.
Once he was settled, I slipped out from under him and went to pick up around the apartment that had been neglected for the last few weeks. I called Sunny and told her I was back and that I would be back at work as soon as she needed me, and told her to set up the interview with the director of nursing for the promotion. I gave her the CliffsNotes version of what had been going on and my heart just swelled with how receptive and kind she was. I really needed to let that friendship grow outside of work because she was a really great lady and so firmly in my corner. I also called Faith to fill her in and got an earful about running off to Phoenix with no warning.
I think she was happy for me in the grand scheme of things, she was definitely thrilled that Mom was doing so much better, but she made it clear that Nash was not her first choice for me. At some point, her opinion, her feelings on the matter, might have held me back, might have swayed me into thinking we weren’t the best match, but I knew better now. Like I told him, I had to look at myself and my life through my own lens and no one else’s, and all I saw on the other side of that was him and the me he saw when he looked at me with those brilliant eyes of his.
I was rinsing out a million abandoned coffee mugs and getting ready to load the dishwasher when there was a light tap on the door. Since all of his friends were at Cora and Rome’s house and he had made his stance clear with his mother, I figured it had to be Royal. I wiped my hands on a towel and went to pull the door open. My eyes got huge when I took her in.
Her dark red hair was in a tangled mess. She had a yellow-and-green bruise blooming around one of her dark eyes, and her bottom lip was split wide open. She had the bottom half of her police uniform on and a plain white tank top on top. There was blood on the collar and one of the arms was ripped.
“Are you okay?”
She snorted but I saw her cut lip tremble just a little. “Hazard of the job. I tussled with a junkie that was bigger and meaner than me. I just wanted to see how the two of you were doing.”
She really was nice and I wanted to give her and this burgeoning friendship a shot.
“We’re all right. It was rough for a minute. His mom is a witch and his stepdad sucks, but the service was nice and Nash broke everyone’s heart with his eulogy. He’s crashed out, which I think he needs more than anything now. Thank you for calling me.”
She gathered her messy hair in a fist and nodded. “You were on your way home anyway. That’s what matters. I had a shit day. I’m going to lie down, too.”
I grabbed her arm as she turned away and noticed she had the glitter of tears in her dark eyes.
“It gets easier, you know.”
“What does?”
“Having a job like you do. My first night on the floor in the ER, there was a gang shooting. They rolled in five gunshot wounds at the same time. I was trained for it, knew what I was supposed to do, but after it was all said and done, I went home and cried for three hours and lost my lunch. You get used to it, it just becomes part of the routine.”
She nodded and ran her tongue over the nasty cut bisecting her lip. “That’s why I need you to be my friend, Saint.”
She was back across the hallway and in front of her own door when I called out, “You have my number, use it.”
She waved a hand at me over her shoulder and disappeared inside her own place.
I went back to picking up, and by the time I was done decided it was my turn for a shower. Nash was still out when I snuck in the room to snag one of his shirts to change into and it took every ounce of restraint I had not to kiss every line, every curve, of his face until he woke up.
I was rubbing a towel over my hair and walking back into the living room to watch TV until he woke up when I drew up short. He was most definitely awake, leaning against the back of the couch and watching me with heavy-lidded, purple eyes. The boxers were navy blue this time and his arms bulged enticingly where they were crossed across his delectable chest. As always, my gaze followed those wings that disappeared into the waistband of his underwear.
“Hey.” I couldn’t help the husky drop in my voice.
He lifted a black eyebrow at me and the corner of his mouth kicked up in a grin.
“Thanks for taking care of me, Saint.”
I took a few more steps into the living room and he caught the end of the towel that was now hanging limply in my hand and used it to tow me in until we were mere inches away from each other.
“Anytime, Nash.”
He reached out and coiled a hand under the wet fall of my hair around my neck. He removed the space remaining between us and I was plastered against his bare chest. It was the best place in the world to be.
“How about you let me take care of you for a while?”
Well, what kind of fool would I be to pass up an offer like that? Only the last time we had been on this couch in any kind of sexy way together I had left him in a pretty unfair state and I wanted to make it up to him. I wanted to take care of him in all ways there were from this point on out.
“How about we just take care of each other?”
Both of his eyebrows shot up and finally, after way too long, a full-fledged smile crossed his handsome face.
“Sounds like a good deal.” Then he bent his head and kissed me like it was the first and last thing he wanted to do every single day from here on out.
Our tongues tangled together, hands slid eagerly across bare skin, and all the best parts of us lined up perfectly. I gasped into his mouth a little when his hands crawled up under the hem of my borrowed T-shirt and cupped the curves of my bottom. He hefted me a little closer so that our pelvises were pressed tightly against one another and I felt his erection throb insistently where it was resting in the cradle of my legs. He made short work of the T-shirt and guided a wide palm from the base of my neck all the way to where my spine dipped in right above my ass. He blew out an appreciative breath that I caught because our mouths were still sealed together.
I pulled back and kissed him on the throat, shivered when he moved a hand across my ribs and up to cup a breast. It seemed unfathomable that I hadn’t enjoyed being touched like this. I guess I just needed the hands, the skilled touch, to belong to him. He rotated the pad of his thumb across one of my nipples and it made my entire body clench in response. If he kept that up there would be recompense for the last scene of romance in this living room. I pulled back a little and kissed him in the center of his chest. I loved how resilient, how taut and hard his body always felt under my mouth. I put a kiss that left a mark right over where his heart was beating steady and strong and let my tongue twist and turn around the flat disk of his nipple. It made me giggle a little when it beaded up in response.
I tickled his abs with my fingertips and rubbed my palms over the wings that covered his sides. I thought the white boxers were my favorite against his swarthy and darker-toned skin, but I decided on the spot as I pulled him free that my favorite from here on out was going to be none at all. His erection was pulsing, practically vibrating in my hand. It was still topped with the metal ring and the barbell and it quivered eagerly in my hand when I gave it a little squeeze at the base.
Nash made a low noise in the back of his throat when I sank down in front of where he was still leaning against the couch. His eyes were midnight dark and there was a high flush on his cheeks. The power, the pride I felt that I could make this man react like that made me really feel like the most beautiful woman in the entire world.
My teeth clicked on the metal ring, which made me want to laugh but had him groaning. He collected my hair up in both his hands as I started rolling, sucking, licking the thing in a way that had his abs contracting and his thighs quivering. I had to keep my hands involved, all of him was never going to fit in my mouth at one time, and I had to admit it was way more fun to do this when there were things my tongue could play with. I heard him growl my name, which was super hot, felt him tug at my hair, which meant he was close. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, I was too busy thinking about how heady the sensation was, how delicious making him react felt … sure, this was more about his pleasure than my own, but his taste, his feel, it was enough to light me up just fine.
I had my hands around the base of his cock, was using them in time with the sucking, swirling motion of my mouth, so I was surprised when he literally yanked me off of him, which resulted in a drag of teeth and a squeeze that was probably rougher than felt good. He yelped out a swearword and I was going to demand to know what he thought he was doing, but my panties were unceremoniously stripped off my legs, leaving me bare and open. He wrenched us around while breathing hard and put my hands on the back of the couch. With a palm in the center of my back between my shoulder blades, he bent me over just a little and used his knee to nudge my legs open enough so that he could fit where he needed to be.
He dropped a heavy kiss on the back of my neck, reached around the front, and covered each of my breasts with his wide hands. He didn’t say anything, just slid inside me, and I thought I was going to die. In this position he went deeper, I felt him more intensely, and the drag and pull of that little extra he was working with made stars dance in front of my eyes. I had to clutch the couch cushions, had to bite my lip—hard—to keep from screaming out each time he pulled out and pushed back in. We had had a lot of sex over the last few months but nothing that felt this raw, this unhinged, and potent.
I felt like this was him leaving his undeniable mark, and as the pleasure grew, as his rhythm and tempo increased, as one of his hands started to slide across my stomach headed for the spot that would push me over at the barest touch, I was ready for it all, I was practically ready to shatter. Nash’s breathing shifted, his driving hips stilled for a fraction, and his hand stalled on my stomach.
“Holy fuck.” We were both so close, it was hovering so right there, and I had no idea what he was doing but I was going to strangle him if he didn’t start moving again. He was panting like a marathon runner, and when I looked at him over my shoulder, in question, he grimaced and kissed me hard on the mouth all while pulling out of my body as slowly as was humanly possible. It made both of us groan and swear at the same time.
“Do you want to talk about the seriously unprotected sex we were just having or do you want to just go in my room and finish?”
I squealed and buried my face in his chest. “Jeez, no wonder it felt so good.”
He snorted a laugh and I yelped when he swung me up in his arms and headed to the bedroom.
“Maybe you wanna add birth control to your to-do list sometime soon?”
I ran my tongue along the shell of his ear and rubbed my fingers over the flames inked on his shoulders and grinned up at him. If he hadn’t attached his mouth to the side of my neck, started sucking and swirling his tongue along the sensitive cords there, I would’ve told him that I had taken care of that little detail shortly after our rendezvous in the Charger just to be safe. If I had known it would bring on a hasty end to all the delicious things he was doing to my body in the living room, I would’ve sent him a memo about it.
I hit the center of the bed with a little “ouf” when he gracelessly tossed me, and I leaned back to watch him while he got himself all situated. I blinked up at him with wide eyes as he crawled up over me and settled himself back between my legs.
“You are so beautiful.” He really was from the inside out.
He lifted an eyebrow and placed a sweet little kiss on the end of my nose.
“So are you.” I used to just ignore him, to think they were just words he was saying because he thought they needed to be said. Now I understood he meant it and it didn’t matter if I looked the way I did now or if I looked the way I did then, it was the person I was he found beautiful.
“Thank you.”
He slid back inside of me, and since my body was already primed, already on the the brink of going over, it didn’t take much to have me hollering his name into the ceiling and digging my heels into his back. He curled my legs up high on his sides, rose up a little on one knee, and powered into my compliant body until he found his own release and collapsed on top of me in a heavy heap.
The ring in the center of his nose was a tactical thrill against my shoulder as he kissed my collarbone and muttered drily, “I’m done trying to have sex on that couch. It never ends well for me.”
I had to laugh as I wrapped my arms across his wide shoulders. “I think it ended just fine.”
“I love you, Saint.”
“I love you, too, Nash.”
Nash wanted to live a life with no regrets, I wanted to live a life that was fulfilled. We needed each other to accomplish that, and now that we had each other there was no then versus now, there was just this life we had together.
I got the promotion. It was awesome and I was really proud of myself, but what made it even better was how proud Nash was of me. My job didn’t have to be important to him, but because it was so much of who I was, the fact that he inherently knew what a big deal it was made me love him even more.
Our schedules were still crazy and all over the place, even more so now that I was trying to learn the different parts of my new job. It didn’t matter, though, we never spent a night apart. My place, his place, one of us was always in the other’s bed, and as long as I woke up next to him in the morning, I didn’t care where I put my head at night.
I was also branching out my social skills. I went out with Sunny, tried to join Nash’s friends on their Thursday girls’ night out if it didn’t conflict with work, and had taken to having coffee with Royal every morning I stayed at Nash’s place. I enjoyed the time spent with all of them, but there was something about Royal, something about watching another young woman struggle with a selfless, emotionally taxing job, that drew me to her. I didn’t have to try and be her friend anymore, I was just her friend … period.
I was running late. Nash had called on my lunch break and asked me to meet him at the new tattoo shop when I got off of work. I had a late admission and ended up having to stay an extra half hour until the doctor could get to them. I knew the contractor had just finished with everything in the new space and all they had left to do was get the final members of the staff in place so they could open up for business in a few weeks. It had been a labor of love, cost a pretty penny, but all of the Marked family was super excited for the new adventure to begin. I figured he just wanted to show his baby off, and I felt bad I was holding him up, so I reminded myself to oooh and awww with appropriate vigor. I was really proud of him.
I had to park around the corner and make my way through the typical after-work, LoDo crowd to get to the shop. The location was dynamite; he wasn’t going to know what to do with himself when it took off like I knew it would. Nash was leaning against the glass storefront talking on his phone. He caught sight of me and gave me a wink. He couldn’t really stand around waiting without finding something to do with his hands. I think that’s how he avoided reaching for a cigarette. He was doing a great job quitting and every time he was tempted I reminded him he had made it all the way through the ordeal with Phil without lighting up, so there was no way he needed one now.
When I got to him he scooped me up in a rib-crushing hug and kissed me like we hadn’t had wild shower sex just that morning. I would be the luckiest girl in the world if he was always going to be that happy to see me.
“Did you get my text that I was going to be late?”
“Yep. It gave me time to wrap up the surprise.”
I gave him a funny look and noticed that the huge pane of glass that was the front of the store was covered in brown butcher’s paper.
“I thought you were just going to show me the new shop.”
He laughed and pulled on one of the pigtails I had been rocking at work.
“I am. It’s amazing, but I want to show you something first. We went round and round, tossed idea after idea back and forth about what the new shop should be called.”
I was starting to get a little anxious. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and looked up at him from under my pale lashes.
“What did you do, Nash?”
“This new shop is the future for the Marked, but you’re my future. I figured I might as well tie the two of them together because you are both my life.”
He reached behind him and pulled all the brown paper down off the glass, and I had to cover my mouth with my hands. All I could do was stare at him and back at the painted glass in stunned disbelief.
In old-fashioned lettering like one would find on an old curio shop or an old apothecary window was the name of the new shop: THE SAINTS OF DENVER TATTOO. It blew my mind and made me want to cry.
“Cora and the guys loved it. It’s different and goes with our retro theme we have going on.”
“Nash …” I couldn’t even think of what to say to him. It was an honor, but more than that, it was a testament as to how important I was always going to be to him.
“I hope you’re all right with it.”
He was gloating and I wanted to equal parts kiss him and kick him. I just tilted my head to the side and looked at him like he had lost his mind.
I asked him, “You’re amazing, you know that, right?”
He picked me up and swung me around until I was laughing so hard that I had tears running down my face.
He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t ever want you to regret giving me another chance, Saint.”
“You gave me another chance as well, Nash. I think when you’re in love that’s what you do, give chances and take chances. Now let’s go inside and you can show me your new baby.”
He pushed open the door to the shop that he had named after me and I followed him into our future. I didn’t need to look back anymore, to hold on to hurtful and damaging memories. I had Nash to always move toward, and more importantly I now had myself and all the things about me that made me who I was to hold on to. I loved a good man, a nice man, but more than that, I loved myself, and that fulfilled me in a way nothing else could because I knew I deserved the best and Nash Donovan was the best thing for me … ever.
