Текст книги "CHAINED"

Автор книги: Jaimie Roberts

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

I closed my eyes, knowing who was behind this. I could have cursed myself. Why did I have to go to work tonight? Why didn’t I just listen to Kit and stay home with him? I could have been in his arms telling him everything he needed to know by now.

Shit! I wasn’t ever going to see him again. I knew Uncle wouldn’t let me. I’d become his prisoner, having him doing whatever the hell he liked to me and I would just have to smile and take it…no matter how much I knew I didn’t really want it.

What was wrong with me?

No, no, no, no... I can’t take this. Please, I can’t do this.

I could feel the blackness wash over me, the darkness feeding off my anguish. I thought I had wanted all this, but after finding Kit, I realised just how wrong I was. I couldn’t do this anymore. I didn’t want to do this anymore. I wanted a new life. I wanted out of the darkness and into Kit’s light. I wanted to be in his arms, having him tell me everything was going to be okay. That I was safe and I was his.

I knew that wasn’t going to happen now. To protect Kit, I had to pretend I had failed. I had to lie to Uncle and ask that he forgive me for failing us both. I had to do whatever it took to keep him safe.

The man I love.

The man who was now everything to me.

After a while of struggling, I decided to relent and just let go. There was nothing I could do.

“Thank fuck. She’s a strong one.”

I heard another man laugh. “No wonder Boss wants her so much.”

The man who held me laughed. “I can see why. I’m getting a nice view from up here. If I just pushed her blouse down a little, I’d get to see what her momma gave her.”

I elbowed him again and I heard him umph. The other guy just laughed.

“I think you earned that, my friend.”

I sighed a little. “You know, I can hear everything you’re saying. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who you two are...mask or no mask. What’s the point of having this thing on me anyway?”

I was met with silence, then one decided to speak, “Boss doesn’t want you knowing where we’re taking you.”

I laughed. “Oh, really? Is it a surprise? Am I going to turn up at some lavish five-star resort where I’ll be pampered silly?”

Both men laughed and the other guy spoke, “And you have a sense of humour. Nice.”

“The only thing I have right now is a headache, so I would appreciate it if you kept it down.”

I felt the vibration of the man’s chest who held me. “Has someone got their period?”

I rolled my eyes. “Has someone got a severe case of BO?”

The other guy laughed loudly as I felt the guy pull his arm up. I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. He was obviously smelling himself.

“Haha, I can’t believe you just smelled your armpit, Craig.”

I heard Craig growl. “Shut the fuck up, Ian.”

“Hey, just because you failed to get a piece of that pussy last night at the club doesn’t mean you can take it out on me. It’s not my fucking fault you’re a chump.”

“Don’t fucking test me, Ian. You know full well I can get pussy whenever I want. Last night was just a fluke. You know we’re not allowed to anyway, so what’s the point.”

Ian laughed. “Yeah, women just love you, don’t they, Craig? That’s why that woman was running away so fast on her pretty little high heels, she looked like John Wayne doing the funky chicken.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed.

I felt the guy tug on me. “Hey, that’s not fucking funny. She must have been a lesbian.”

Now I was laughing harder. “Oh, please. That’s always a man’s excuse for their own inadequacies. I’m not a lesbian and I can already tell I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“That’s because you’ve not seen my face.”

I smiled. “Well, let me see it so I can make my own judgment.”

Craig went silent for a moment. “Nice try, Olivia, but you know I can’t do that. All I can say is that you’d want me if you saw me.”

I rolled my eyes again. “Your modesty alone is so attractive.”

Ian started laughing, and Craig growled a little. “Shut the fuck up. Who asked you anyway? Remember, you’ve been taken, and I think you know by whom. I would suggest you keep that pretty little mouth shut until you’re told you can speak.”

I sighed, but didn’t respond, despite the fact I wanted to talk to keep my mind off whatever was going to happen next. I had an inkling of what it would be and I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty.

To keep my brain occupied, I started thinking about Kit. He must be going out of his mind by now, wondering where the hell I was. I know he’d go in the pub and ask if I was there. That would probably also set Charlie off and have him worrying.

Shit! This was all I needed now. Kit was homeless because he wanted to remain anonymous to the world, but this would probably bring him out of hiding now. I really wanted to get rescued by Kit, then we could ride off into the sunset together. But that wasn’t going to happen now. I never got my chance to tell him everything, and now I never will.

I opened my heart to the one man I had been dreaming of my whole life. The one man who used to haunt me day and night. He was a constant shadow I was chasing, and I’d never see him again.

It was probably for the best. At least he’d be safe then. I certainly wasn’t going to rat him out. Maybe in the beginning, but not now.

It was about another fifteen minutes of driving before I felt the van come to a stop. A door opened and Craig manoeuvred himself out from beneath me.

“Okay, princess. Time to meet your prince. I know he’ll be eager to see you.”

I huffed. “He didn’t have to send two of his goons to grab me and haul me here, did he? He could have asked politely.”

Craig laughed. “I think you know that’s not quite his style.”

I sighed. “No, I guess not.”

I was pulled out and someone threw me over their shoulder. “I can walk, you know.”

Whoever was carrying me smacked me on the bottom. “It’s better this way.”

It was Ian.

“You don’t need to get frisky with me, either,” I huffed and heard him chuckle.

I felt Ian walking up some stairs, then I felt the cool air leave us, so we must be inside a building. He walked up some more stairs and through a door, then he gently placed me down on something soft and pulled the bag off my head.

I squinted at the bright light, blinking a few times. Once my eyes were adjusted, I looked up to see what Ian really looked like.

To my surprise, he was quite good-looking. He had short, wavy, mousy brown hair, and light blue, kind eyes. Eyes that didn’t fit with working for a man like Uncle. He was built for it, though. Everyone who worked for him had to be. He was extremely tall and muscular, hence the reason he wasn’t out of breath carrying me all the way up here.

“Can I get you a drink?”

I nodded. “If you can trouble yourself for a couple of headache tablets, that would be good, too.”

He smiled and started to walk out of the room. “I’ll be right back.”

He left and I was on my own. I took in my surroundings. I was in a big bedroom with red velvet walls, luscious cream curtains, and a four-poster bed that was big enough to hold four people with plenty of room.

There was no doubt in my mind where I was. I just didn’t know what to expect once Uncle turned up. The thought made me shudder.

Within a couple minutes, Ian came in, holding a glass in one hand and two tablets in the other. “Here.” He handed them to me. “They should help with your headache.”

I nodded with a smile and took the water. I popped the two tablets in my mouth and swallowed hard. “Thank you.”

Ian smiled. “Don’t mention it. Do you need anything else?”

I huffed. “Sleep, a foot massage, a bath, some light reading…”

He chuckled. “Well, I can offer some light reading, and the bathroom is just through there for a bath. As far as the other two, I’m afraid my hands are tied. You have to take care of sleep yourself, and the foot massage… Well, I don’t think Boss would take too kindly to me making you feel that comfortable. I’ve had strict instructions not to touch you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Yet you smacked my bottom on the way up here.”

Ian looked away, embarrassed. He placed his hand behind his neck and sighed. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I laughed. “It’s okay. I won’t tell him. I promise.”

Ian’s posture immediately relaxed. “I would appreciate that.”

“So, how long have you worked here, Ian?”

He sighed, coming to sit next to me on the bed. “Not long. I’ve been in training for about six weeks. Both Craig and I joined at the same time.”

I rubbed my neck and moaned a little. “I think Craig needs some more manners.”

Ian laughed. “Yeah, I appreciate what you’re saying. He’s harmless, though. He’s more mouth than anything.”

I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment. “Why am I here, Ian? I’ve been brought back too soon. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Ian stiffened a little. “I don’t know, Olivia. All I do know is you’re high priority, we were to bring you back here, and we were not to touch you. That’s as far as our instructions went.”

Of course. In Uncle’s world, the less you knew, the better. That way, you could get things done without knowledge. Knowledge gave you emotion. Emotion men like this couldn’t afford to have.

I sighed. “I understand.”

Just when Ian was about to respond, the door was flung open and Uncle walked in. I sucked in a breath, and Ian jolted up off the bed. Uncle’s nostrils flared.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing on my bed? Did I say you could go near her?”

Ian didn’t know where to look. “Uncle, please. He was just being nice to me. He carried out your instructions to the fullest extent. I don’t see why, though. I still had a couple days left. Couldn’t you have waited two more days?”

Uncle’s flaming eyes bore into me before turning to Ian. “What have you got?”

Ian put his hand in his pocket and pulled out my phone. I didn’t realise he had even taken it from me.

“She had this in her pocket, and her bag is downstairs. Other than that, there was nothing else.”

Uncle looked at my phone and his eyes widened. He then looked at me, but there was no emotion.

“Who is he?”

I frowned. “Who? I don’t understand.”

“The person you’ve been fucking. Who is he?”

My heart hammered in my chest. How could he know? He couldn’t, though. If he had seen Kit, he’d know I’d been lying to him this whole time.

“I don’t understand. I’m not with anyone, Uncle.”

Uncle walked forward with the phone in his hands and turned it towards me. My home number and the time I called were displayed on the screen. “Then why is it that you called your own house when you left the pub this evening? You weren’t fucking calling yourself, so who is it?”

I closed my eyes, trying not to let my composure slip. When I opened them again, Uncle looked at me, a touch of disappointment in his eyes.

He motioned to Ian. “You can leave,” he said with a growl.

Ian looked at me apologetically, but did as he was told. Once he closed the door, Uncle stayed standing, staring at me.

“Are you going to tell me who he is? Is he the reason you’ve done absolutely fuck all in the last three months? Are you too busy getting fucked by him to forget why you’re there in the first place?” He walked over and, with one sweep of his hands, threw the contents on top of the dresser onto the floor. “Who the fuck is he?”

I jumped at his thunderous outburst. “There’s no one, okay? I’ve been helping out a friend from the soup kitchen. She had nowhere else to stay.”

Uncle briskly walked over to me and got close to my face. “A lady friend, ha? Why would you feel the need to call to let her know you’re coming home? You don’t normally do that unless there’s someone waiting for you. Someone you’re fucking.”

My mind raced for an explanation…one he would buy. “I was just helping her out. Her own place needed fumigating after a bug problem got out of control. She has a boyfriend, and I thought she may have been with him. I was just trying to warn her that I was coming home early, just in case they were...” I bit my lip. “You know.”

Uncle straightened and regarded me for a moment, then looked down at my phone. “Hmm... I wonder if she’s still there to verify your story. Shall I give her a call?”

I jolted up and raced over to Uncle. “No, there’s no need to do that.” I got up on my tiptoes and placed a light kiss on his mouth. Placing my hand on his face, I stroked his cheek. “Don’t disturb her. She’ll probably be asleep by now. You don’t need to worry about her. I’m just a little shocked as to why you went to all this trouble tonight. Why didn’t you just ask me to go with you?” I needed to change the subject and fast. The fact I was close to him seemed to somehow steer him away.

Uncle suddenly smiled and I knew I had him. “I couldn’t risk it, Olivia. I had to make sure you were still on our side.”

My eyes widened a little. “Sides? I didn’t realise there were sides. We both had a mutual situation that needed dealing with. I haven’t been very successful yet, but I’m sure if you give me more time—”

“I’ve given you plenty of time, Olivia. You failed. End of story. Now it’s time you came home.”

“But–”

Uncle grabbed my chin, gently swiping his finger along my jaw. “I’m a patient man, Olivia. You said you needed time. I gave you that time. You promised me that when it was all over, you’d come back to me. When I saw you in the bar, I knew you weren’t any closer to finding what we were both after than you had been four months ago. You’ve had your time. Now it’s my turn.”

I wanted him to see sense. I needed him to give me a little more time. I only needed enough to explain to Kit the whole situation, then we could run. Whether or not it would be together was a different story, but at least he would be safe.

“Remember the shadowman who used to visit you at night, Livy?”

I shuddered as he held me tight to him. Just that one sentence brought me back to when I was a little girl.

“The shadowman frightened you. He tried to kill you all. Remember that, Livy?”

A sob travelled through my body. It had been a long time since the shadowman had been brought up. Such a long time since I was conditioned to fear him, hate him, loathe him. He was the man who unwittingly brought me from the abyss. Because of him, I wanted to fight, wanted to carry on. He made me want to live again so I could take my revenge for what he had done. The man who tried to kill me and my parents. The man whose eyes I could never get out of my head.

“Shh, it’s okay, Livy. I’m here now. You never have to fear again. I have always been here to protect you. Always been here to guide you on your way. The shadowman can’t harm you with me around. I tried telling you that then, but I’m also telling you now.”

I clutched onto Uncle like he was my only lifeline. I wanted to believe he could protect me from the monster that haunted me ever since I was a child.

“I don’t want him in my head anymore.”

And it was true. I hated that he popped up every now and then, always telling me he was there, always making me believe he was out there and ready to get me again. Ready to pounce on me at any moment.

Uncle stroked my hair soothingly. “Livy, let go. You never have to be afraid anymore. I have you now. I have always had you. It’s time to lock the door behind you and let me in.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know how.”

Uncle pulled away and looked deeply into my watery eyes. “I’ll show you.” He leaned down and kissed my lips so tenderly, I became lost. Mixed emotions clouded me. I felt safe, but I didn’t feel safe. Something wasn’t right, but Uncle was telling me it was. I had to believe him because he had been guiding me for so many years. He was the one who brought me up when I was down, showing me life was worth living again. He got me off the alcohol, bought me paint, nurtured me like a father. I always knew he wanted more, but my thirst for vengeance grew and he allowed me that time to fulfil my wishes. The only thing he asked in return was that I came home to him once my mission was complete.

But it wasn’t complete.

Pulling away from him, I tried to step away. “But I can’t. Not now. I haven’t finished what I was supposed to.”

I walked away and lay on the bed, feeling like an utter failure. I felt a dip next to me and Uncle’s body pressed against mine. I heard the twisting of bottle top and my nostrils flared when the smell hit me. It was like smelling food for the first time after weeks without it.

Without thinking, I turned and saw Uncle smiling down at me. He took a swig from the bottle he had in his hand and leaned down towards my lips. He kissed me, coaxing my mouth open. I felt the warm droplets of the Jack Daniels hitting the back of my throat.

I moaned, wanting more. It had been so long without it, my insides burned. Uncle was giving me what I craved after so long without it. This was his reward to me and, by god, my body wanted more.

I locked lips with him, wanting to taste more, begging his mouth to give me what it craved.

“You want more?” he whispered against my lips.

I nodded vigorously, pulling at his shirt collar and begging him with my eyes.

“Touch me, Livy. Touch me where you know I want you to.”

I lay there, raging war in my head. I wanted the feel of the alcohol running through my system. I wanted to feel Uncle’s lips on mine. The pull was back again, but there was also something else in the back of my mind telling me no.

Uncle stroked his hand across my cheek and it came flooding back to me.

Kit.

My precious Kit was out there somewhere, waiting for me. He was out there, probably going out of his mind with worry. Yet here I was, lying underneath another man.

I can’t do this.

I don’t want to do this.

I want to do this.

Shaking my head, I looked into Uncle’s eyes. “I can’t... I can’t do this.” But I did want this. I wanted him to touch me. I could feel it burning inside.

Uncle stroked a strand of hair away from my face. “Yes, you can, Livy. Remember who used to protect you from the monster...from your shadowman? Remember who used to hold you at night and tell you everything was going to be okay? Did I ever let you down, Livy? Did I ever hurt you?”

Visions swam in my head again. Dark visions of the man I came to hate. I wanted the darkness again. I craved the numbness.

“More,” I commanded breathlessly.

“You know what to do.”

Closing my eyes, I reached my hand down to touch his hardness. I wrapped my hand around it and rubbed him up and down through his trousers, but I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. I didn’t like knowing I wanted more.

Uncle moaned approvingly. “Livy, you feel so good. Time for your reward.”

He took another swig and released drop by drop into my mouth. I was practically licking every single drop off him.

Uncle ripped my blouse open, revealing my lacy bra. He dribbled a little of the Jack Daniels onto my chest and started licking it off. I could smell it on me. I wanted to bathe in it, feed off it. I wanted all I could have of it.

“Olivia, I can make you safe again.”

I closed my eyes with a smile. Safe. I wanted to feel safe. I loved safe. Uncle could give me safe.

I moaned as I felt him tug at my bra, then his tongue swirled around my nipple. For some reason, I felt my insides burning again. I shouldn’t be enjoying this, but I was. I wanted more.

I moaned again, loving and hating every moment of it. My head hated it, but my body cried out for more. In fact, my body started burning for it.

“Livy, you must be ready.”

Ready? Ready for what? I couldn’t quite understand what he was talking about. My mind wanted him off me, but my body screamed for more. I couldn’t understand it. Every touch on my skin had me quivering with desire. I wanted him inside me, but my mind was saying no. My mind wanted Kit. My heart wanted Kit. However, right now, my body was saying other things.

What was wrong with me?

I couldn’t understand anything that was happening. I wasn’t the type of girl who would desire another man when my heart belonged to somebody else. It was almost as if my heart and mind were separated from my body. Right now, it was taking over every part of me.

“Livy, I need to be inside you. I’ve waited too fucking long for this.” He captured my mouth and stroked my breast. He was being gentle, which made my body cry out for more.

I moaned again, and Uncle started taking off his clothes. His eyes were hooded and sexy. I had never seen him look at me that way before and my body reacted to it. I didn’t want it to, but it was betraying me.

In one swift motion, he pulled my bra off, then started pulling my jeans and knickers down. I closed my eyes, images of Kit flashing through my mind. I didn’t want this. I had to stop.

“I’m not sure I’m ready yet.” I was breathless and so ready for this. My body screamed at me so much, it was in pain.

He completely rid me of my clothes so there was nothing standing between us. Uncle gripped his throbbing cock in his hands and winced. He didn’t care about my pleas now.

“Uncle…”

He stopped me with a flick of his tongue on my clit. My mind completely fogged again and desire flowed through me. My body quivered and shook as he swirled his tongue. It was doing a dance and my body wanted him to take that lead.

Over and over again, his tongue dove deep inside me, then swirled around my clit. I could feel my body go rigid with an impending orgasm. I didn’t want this, but I did.

“Oh god!” I cried as it crept up harder and faster. I was going to go any minute and it was going to be glorious.

Just when I was about to fall over the edge, he stopped. “Jesus, Livy, you’re a fucking tiger. I’m going to give you what you want now, okay? I want to feel you come around my cock. I want to feel your walls clamp down on me as you writhe underneath me. I want you to scream out in pleasure.”

He positioned himself at my entrance, but my mind screamed at me to stop this. “Condom!” I shouted. I knew I couldn’t stop this now, but I also didn’t want him coming inside of me.

Uncle looked up at me. “Why?”

My mind scrambled for an explanation. “I’m...I’m not on the pill,” I lied, then moaned when the burn to have him inside me crawled back up.

Uncle smirked. “Good.” He rammed into me hard and my breath caught. I wanted to know what this all meant, but my body took over again. It was telling me to feel everything he was doing to me. It wanted to feel him. It wanted him to take me hard and fast, not stopping until I couldn’t take anymore.

“Fuck!” he cried. “Livy, you feel so fucking tight. Do you want me to move?”

My mind cried no, but my head nodded in earnest. Right now, I wanted it more than my last breath.

He didn’t waste any time. He thrust hard inside me again, making me cry out. “Harder!” I shouted, unable to fathom what in the hell had gotten into me.

I didn’t care right now. With each thrust, my orgasm was creeping back up with a vengeance. It rose unlike any orgasm I had ever had before. It was intense and climbing faster with each movement he made.

“Oh god!” I cried again.

“That’s it, baby. Let go. Fuck, you feel so good.”

He rammed into me so hard, the orgasm painfully shot through my body. All my limbs went rigid as spasm after spasm raced through me. I could hear the blood pumping through my veins, the hairs rising on every single part of me. It celebrated with joy as my orgasm didn’t stop. I screamed as the intensity of it coursed through me.

Uncle pushed even harder and deeper as his breathing became frantic. “Shit, Livy!” His whole body tightened and I felt him come inside of me.

He came inside of me!

Oh god! What had I done? What kind of person had I become? Surely I didn’t want this. Surely I didn’t crave this man as much as I craved Kit. I had become conditioned to Uncle from the very first day he took me under his wing. It would only be natural for me to react a certain way to him, but not like this. Not with this intensity.

With him breathing hard on top of me, my mind raced for answers I couldn’t give myself. What would cause my body to completely take over my mind like that? Surely it wasn’t the promise of Jack Daniels.

Then it hit me. The tablet Ian had given me. I thought it was for my headache, but could it possibly have been something else?

“What did you give me?”

I felt Uncle stiffen above me and I knew I had my answer. I closed my eyes and felt the tears brimming. I couldn’t cry, though. Uncle didn’t like weakness. I couldn’t let him see me weak.

“You came inside of me.”

He picked his head up to look at me. Smiling, he swept a strand of hair away from my face. “Livy, I’m coming up to my thirty-ninth birthday. I’m not getting any younger. Besides, you were promised to me since you were young. It’s only natural that you bear me a son or daughter.”

My eyes widened and my body went stiff. “What are you talking about?”

He smiled wickedly. “Oh, Livy. Did you not know anything about your father? He was in trouble and he needed my help. In return, he promised me the one person who had pure blood. You are a Caudwell, after all. He knew you would be quite the catch when you were older. Every man who knew who you were would want you. He knew that and he also knew my weakness for you. Even when you were a little girl, I would dote on you, Livy.” He trailed a finger down the side of my face, looking at me adoringly.

Suddenly, I felt nauseated. How could he? I always thought my father was a good man, but I was completely wrong. I knew he never hugged me or showed me love, but I was hoping it was because he was so busy. I was hoping he still felt it, but found it hard to show his emotions. After all, he was a lord. He was related to royalty and a man of very high standing.

“How could he do that to his only daughter?”

“Livy, don’t hate your father. He was doing it to keep you all safe. Don’t you realise that by now? He also knew you would never want for anything with me. Anything you want, Livy, I will get it for you. All I ask in return is that you marry me and bear me a child. Someone who can carry on your legacy. It was only natural it would be with me. You understand how powerful I am, Livy. You’ve understood that ever since you were little.”

I shook my head, unable to take it all in. Uncle saw my anxiety and stroked my face. “Shh, Livy. I know this is a lot to take in. I will give you some time to think it over. You knew this day would come. You promised me it would come.”

I did. The sick part of me accepted his advances because I would rather feel something in my life than the emptiness every day.

He pulled out of me and I winced. “I’m not sure if you’re ready to stop just yet. What you have inside of you is quite powerful.”

I felt nauseous again. “What is it?”

Uncle smiled. “Call it a form of Viagra, but it’s good for headaches, too. I was just doing you a favour. I knew you would be uptight, so I was just letting you unwind. Drugs wouldn’t be a good thing for an addict, so I thought Viagra would be the next best thing. Now, thank me and go and take a bath. I have some business to attend to.”

“Thank you.” The words just naturally slipped out. Again, this was Uncle asserting his authority.

I got up as instructed, and he watched with a smile as I walked towards the bathroom.

“I knew you’d have a beautiful body, Livy. One that should be worshipped. I know how to make you feel good, baby, and I promise I will.”

I put on my best smile and opened the bathroom door. Before going in, I turned and saw him getting dressed. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you ‘uncle’ now. After what we’ve just done, it sounds kind of sick.”

Uncle laughed and pulled his shirt back on. He had a great body. It was tanned and sculptured in such a way, he would be the perfect specimen to paint. But there was only one person I wanted to paint, and I would never see him again.

“Call me Zac.”

That surprised me somewhat. “Zac?” I wasn’t sure whether that was his name, but it would be better than Uncle.

He laughed a little. “That’s my name. You can use it now that you are mine.” He stalked towards me with a heated stare. He roamed his eyes over my nakedness and my nipples reacted. Whatever he gave me was strong. Just one look and I wanted him to take me again. I hated it.

I loved it.

Zac obviously noticed this as his smile said it all. “Go take a bath. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He reached out and flicked his thumb over my nipple. I moaned, throwing my head back.

“So fucking sexy. I would take you right now if it wasn’t for this stupid fuck I have to deal with.”

With his face pained, he turned away from me and walked towards the door. “Go take a bath, Livy. It will help you relax a bit.”

He closed the door behind him, leaving me desperate for more. My mind was relieved he was gone, but my body wanted him back again. I just hoped this would wear off soon as I didn’t think my heart could take anymore.

I loved Kit. I wanted Kit.

With my head hanging in shame, I walked towards the lavish bath. I was surrounded by luxury. I knew Uncle... Zac... Whatever the hell his name was… I knew he would make good on his promise. It just wasn’t what I wanted.

I turned the water on in the bath and dribbled some bubble bath in. I sat at the edge, wondering how on earth my life had turned out like this. I stared as the bubbles formed and grew as the water filled.

I wanted to cry. I wanted the floodgates to open at the loss of feeling something real in my life. This wasn’t real. Everything around me wasn’t real. Kit was the only real thing I had, but I had lost it. I was only given a glimpse of a life worth fighting for, but it was being ripped away from me again.

I waited a little longer, feeling nothing but numbness. I still had desire simmering in the background. For now, I was just letting the numbness come. Feeling numb was better than feeling the pain I knew would eventually envelope me. I had been trapped all my life. What difference did it make if I was trapped again?

Once the water was filled to a suitable level, I dipped my foot in and shivered at the warmth. I manoeuvred over and slid down gently into the bath.

Everything came to life again. My body was on fire, desiring anyone to put out my flame.

Without thinking, I closed my eyes and moved my hand down between my legs, feeling the swollen nub beneath my fingers. I moaned as I moved it around a little, taking my nipple in between the fingers of my other hand and feeling it pucker beneath my touch. My whole body quivered. Whatever Zac had given me, it was enough to heighten every single touch.