Текст книги "Everlasting Sin"

Автор книги: J. S. Cooper

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“Hudson, gross!” Eden shouted, and I heard someone whispering something to her.

“Who’s that?”

“Riley says hi,” she continued. “Riley, get on the phone with my stupid brother and tell him to tell you where the key is.”

“Hello.” Riley’s voice was soft and I smiled involuntarily.

“Hey, egghead.” I laughed into the phone and heard her groan.

“What’s up, asshole?” she muttered, and I closed my eyes for a second to picture her face. I knew exactly what face she’d be making right now.

“I’m not telling you how to get into the liquor cabinet,” I continued and then realized that Clara was just standing there, looking at me uncomfortably. “Hey, let me call you guys back in a few minutes, okay?”

“No need,” Riley giggled, and I frowned. “Just a second, Hudson,” she said into the phone, and then I heard her laughing hysterically. “Stop it, Steve! You’re going to make me drop the phone!”

I frowned even more as I heard her laughing, and I felt a dark emotion run through me. I gripped the phone tightly as I listened to Riley flirting.

“Riley, I have to go,” I spoke into the phone with a stern voice.

“Okay. Bye.” She hung up then, and I stood there, feeling like someone had just slammed a door hard in my face.

“Everything okay?” Clara looked at me with a concerned face.

“Yeah.” I nodded slowly and gave her a weak smile. “Just my sister and her silly friends.” I shrugged. “Nothing important. Let’s go and get that drink, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me.” She grabbed my hand as we walked out and smiled up at me. “I’m so glad I met you, Hudson.”

“Me too.” I tried to mean the words as I said them, but all I could think about was Riley.

What was she doing at the party? What was she going to end up doing? What if she slept with that guy Steve? I felt my blood boiling and tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness that was slowly filling me up.

“Hold on a sec, Clara.” I pulled my phone out and called my parents, leaving a voicemail. “Mom, you and Dad need to get home as soon as you can. Eden is having a party and I’m pretty sure things are getting out of control. I suggest you go home as soon as you can before something bad happens.” I hung up and put the phone in my pocket, feeling a little better.

I knew my parents well. As soon as they got that message, they would be racing home. The party would be broken up and all the boys would be sent home. All that would be left was a girls’ sleepover. Steve—whoever he was—would be gone and Riley would be snuggled up under my roof, safe and sound. I tried not to examine my feelings too much. I was trying to protect my sister and her best friend. That was what big brothers were supposed to do.

Chapter 4

Riley

Four Years Ago

Every summer, Eden and I would go to her parents’ beach house in Englewood, Florida, for two weeks. I would accompany her parents and Hudson, and sometimes Luke, Hudson’s best friend, would come as well. As we got older, I always worried that Hudson would stop coming, but he never did. Those summers were magical. We would swim and boat, sleep under the stars, and grill out almost every night. Eden’s parents let us do our own thing most of the time, so during those summers, we really felt like adults.

The summer I was eighteen, right before my senior year in high school, Hudson brought someone else with him. Her name was Clara, and he proudly introduced her as his girlfriend.

"This is Clara," he spoke to Eden, who stared at the beautiful brunette with wide, eager eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Clara. I'm Hudson's sister, Eden, and this is my best friend and almost-sister, Riley."

I smiled weakly at the girl who stood in front of me holding Hudson's hand.

"Hi." Her voice was as sweet as she looked, and I tried to dismiss my thoughts of jealousy.

"Riley." Hudson's voice was surprised as he looked me over. "You've grown." His eyes traveled the expanse of my body and back up to my eyes. There was an odd expression on his face, and he frowned. "I haven't seen you in a while."

Eden rolled her eyes. "Now that you're a college man, you don't have time for your two sisters."

"Riley's not my sister." His voice was harsh, and my face reddened. "I'm going to go and show Clara around now. I'll see you guys later." And with that, he turned around quickly and walked out of the room, Clara scurrying behind him.

"He's such a pain." Eden rolled her eyes at the door. "I can't believe he got a girl as beautiful as her though!"

"Why not?" I looked at her in surprise. "He's hot."

"Eww! No he's not." She pretended to puke. "He's annoying and gross. Don't you agree?" She gave me a pointed look and I nodded.

What was the point of telling her that I harbored feelings for her brother? It was just a teenage crush, and he wasn't interested. He'd never be interested in me. Especially not now that he had a beautiful girlfriend.

"He's a boy. All boys are gross," I replied as if that explained it all. I tried to ignore the pangs of jealousy and pain that twirled in my stomach. "Let's go swim." I ran into our shared room and looked for my swimming suit so that she wouldn’t ask me any more questions.

* * *

The day that changed my life started off like every other day. I woke up and went to the kitchen to get some cereal while Eden lay in bed, still snoring. I was pouring out my Frosted Flakes when Hudson walked in, bare-chested.

"Morning, Squirt." He wrinkled my hair.

"Morning, Gramps." I made a face at him and he laughed.

"What are you eating?"

"Cereal."

"Boring." It was his turn to make a face. "Want to go and get pancakes?"

"You and me?" My heart started beating fast as I stared at him with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah. I assume Eden is still in bed?"

"Of course."

"We'll call her on the way back. See if she wants anything." He grinned. "Now go and get dressed."

“What about Clara?”

He frowned. “She’s suffering from  a hangover.”

“Oh.” I bit my lip and then continued. “Is she in your room?”

“No.” He shook his head. “She’s in her room.”

“Oh, you guys aren’t sleeping together?”

“Not on this trip.” He laughed. “Mom and Dad aren’t that cool.”

“Oh, okay.” Did that mean that he and Clara had slept together before or not? I knew it was none of my business, but I really wanted to know.

“Why?” He gave me a thoughtful look, and I stared at his lips, remembering the night he had taught me to kiss.

“I was just curious.” I shrugged and turned away. “Let me go and get my clothes on.”

I ran out of the room and made my way to the bathroom so that I could brush my teeth and wash my face. After that, I ran to the bedroom I was sharing with Eden and looked through my clothes for something cute but unassuming to wear. I decided on a black tank top and a pair of white shorts, and I was just brushing my hair when Hudson poked his head into the room.

“You’re not still getting ready, are you, Riley?”

“Yes. I had to put my clothes on.”

“Come on,” he groaned as I pulled out my lip gloss. “You don’t need that.”

“I’m coming.” I rolled my eyes at him and reached for my blusher.

“Riley,” he groaned again, and I glared at him.

“Be quiet,” Eden mumbled as she rolled over in her bed.

“Are you up, Eden?” I whispered, with my heart in my mouth.

“No,” she grumbled and rolled over again.

I grinned at Hudson and hurried out of the room. I was glad that Eden was staying in bed. I hadn’t spent time alone with Hudson in years, and I was looking forward to it.

“Are you finally ready?” He rolled his eyes at me and I shoved him.

“You’re an ass.” I laughed as we walked towards the front door.

“Watch who you’re talking to.” He grabbed me around the waist and pushed me against the wall. “I’m dangerous, you know.”

“Uh huh.” I giggled. “You’re the most dangerous twenty-year-old in the world.”

“And you think you’re the smartest eighteen-year-old.”

“Well, you know. I’m a eighteen-year-old rebel.”

“Well, rebel, want to go for a swim before breakfast?”

“At the beach?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and stared into my eyes. “Or are you worried about your hair?”

“What’s there to worry about?” I laughed. “It’s going to look like a frizzy mess in a few minutes anyways.”

“Oh, Riley.” He laughed, and then we both paused as we heard a sound.

“Hudson? Hudson, are you awake?” Clara called out, and I felt a surge of disappointment wash through my stomach. That was it then. Clara was now up.

“Shh.” Hudson placed a finger against my lips. “Let’s go.” He let me go and we walked quietly to the door, exiting quickly. We ran to his car in giggles, and I jumped in, feeling high on life.

“Why didn’t you answer her?” I asked him as he started the ignition.

“I wanted to spend a morning with my favorite girl uninterrupted,” he answered with a quick grin, and I sat back, feeling happier than I had in a long time.

“Then what are we waiting for?” I reached forward and turned on the radio. The Beach Boys’ high voices came vibrating out of the speakers, and I sang along to the music.

“So tell me. How are college applications going?” Hudson gave me a quick look before pulling onto the main road.

“Eh, still trying to decide where I want to go.” I shrugged and looked out the window. “And what I want to study.”

“What are you thinking?”

“English or journalism.”

“What are you going to do with them?”

“Maybe become an English teacher or a journalist.” I laughed and turned to him. “What about you? You graduate soon. What are you going to do?”

“I have no clue,” he sighed. “Mom and Dad keep telling me to go to law school, but I have no interest in being an attorney.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a boring job.”

“Maybe I’ll just travel the world and then decide.”

“Travel the world?” I looked away, not wanting him to see how disappointed that made me. I didn’t want him to travel the world.

“Yeah. It’s something Clara and I have been thinking about.” He frowned and then accelerated.

“Oh, Clara is going as well?” My disappointment became jealousy, and I looked out the window, nibbling on my lower lip.

“She’s thinking of taking a year off before med school, but she’s not sure.” He shrugged.

“So you guys are serious?”

“I can’t really answer that question. We don’t see each other that much, what with all her studying and her part-time job.”

“She has a job?”

He nodded. “She helps to support her mom.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, she’s a good girl.”

I looked over at him as he pulled off of the highway. “You really love her, huh?”

“I don’t know.” He gave me a quick look. “What’s love, really?”

“Does she make your heart race when you look at her? Does your stomach do flip-flops? Can you breathe when she’s not around?”

“What are these questions, Riley? Have you been reading too many romance novels again?”

“I don’t read romance novels,” I lied. They were my dirty little secret. I devoured about two romance novels a week, and all I could think about when I read them was me and Hudson riding off into the sunset.

“Well, then you need to stop watching chick flicks. Sometimes being with someone isn’t about all that sappy stuff,” he snapped. “Sometimes you’re with someone because the alternative is not acceptable.”

I stared at him with wide eyes. “You really don’t want to be alone, do you?”

“What are you talking about?” he sighed.

“You just said if you weren’t with Clara you’d be alone and that wouldn’t be acceptable.”

He shook his head in frustration. “I said no such thing.”

“That’s what I thought you meant.”

“Well, you thought wrong.” He pulled into the parking lot of a diner and stared at me. “You’re eighteen, Riley. You have the rest of your life to worry about love and all that nonsense. Don’t get caught up in it now.”

“I’m not caught up in anything.” My face went red as I got out of the car. “Asshole,” I whispered under my breath.

“I heard that.” He laughed and grabbed me from behind. I shrieked as he had caught me unaware, and he started tickling me.

“Hudson!” I squealed as his fingers worked their way under my arms. “Stop it!” I tried to escape his hold, but he pulled me closer towards him.

“What’s the magic word, Riley?”

“Please!” I pouted slowly as I stared up into his eyes.

“No.” He grinned down at me, his hazel eyes mocking me as his lips moved dangerously close.

“Open sesame.”

“What?” He laughed and tightened his grip on me.

“Hudson, let go of me.” I tried to push him away, but all I could feel was his solid muscle underneath my fingertips.

“Not until you say the magic word.”

“I don’t know what the magic word is.” I shook my head and he laughed.

“I’m not letting you go until you get it right.”

“But I’m hungry,” I groaned and batted my eyelashes up at him.

“I suggest you start guessing or you may starve.”

“Oh yeah?” I whispered as a thought entered my mind.

“Yeah.”

“We’ll see about that.” I giggled, and then took a deep breath.

My brain was screaming at me for my stupid idea. Don’t do it, Riley! Don’t do it! But I couldn’t stop myself. I stood on tiptoes, leaning slightly forward, and kissed Hudson. I could see the shock in his eyes as our lips made contact. His lips tasted sweeter than I remembered, and I gasped as his tongue entered my mouth slowly.

“Hudson.” My eyes widened as I felt his hands running down my back.

“You wanna sin, Riley? Then you gotta do it right.” He laughed against my lips and then pulled me into his arms as he kissed me harder.

I closed my eyes then and blocked out every other thought and feeling other than the touch of his lips against mine.

PART II

Chapter 5

Hudson

Present Day

“A million dollars, dude. You can dirty up your pretty face for a million dollars.” Luke punched me in the shoulders as he continued his fast talking. “And I’ll be your manager.”

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head and laughed.

Luke was my best friend, but I would be a fool to listen to anything he said. He always had a new scheme to make money, and I had learned the hard way when we were teens that what he said didn’t ever come true.

“Come on. What do you have to lose?”

“Every fight.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a fighter, Luke.”

“You’re not a lover either.” He grinned at me with his million-watt smile.

“I’m not a girl.” I laughed. “Batting your baby blues at me isn’t going to get me to agree.”

“You do this. I’ll get you as much ass as you want.”

“I can get my own ass.” I stood up and stretched. “Anyways, I gotta go.”

“C’mon, Hudson,” Luke pouted and threw his beer can into the trash as if he were Kobe Bryant going for the winning shot in the last game of the NBA finals. “We need this.”

“I don’t need this.” I shook my head. “And you just need to get a job.”

“Don’t nag. You’re not my mother.”

“Thank God.”

“The economy’s shit. You know that.” He shrugged. “When it gets better, I’ll get a job.”

“And until then, you’ll live off your momma?”

“I don’t wanna live off my momma. I want you to enter this damn fight and win a million dollars. Dude, do you know what we can do with a million dollars?”

“Nope.” I shook my head again and laughed at him. “Please stop trying to seduce me with your eyes. Save it for the girls.”

“I’m practicing on you until Riley gets home,” he joked, and I froze for a second.

“What did I tell you about, Riley?” I kept my voice calm, but my insides were storming up at the sound of her name. “Don’t even joke about Riley. Or Eden,” I added for good measure.

“I won’t go after your sister, dude.” Luke laughed. “Now her best friend? Yummy.” He licked his lips. “I don’t know if I can back away from her.”

“Not funny.” I glared at him, heat rising in me. I clenched my fists and took a step back.

“I’m just joking. Damn, Hudson. I know she’s like your sister as well.” Luke shook his head and then stared at my fists. “You were not just about to hit me, were you?”

“Get a life.”

“I’ll get a life if you sign up for one fight.” He collapsed on the couch. “It’s not just about me. You could also give some money to Clara’s mom. I heard she still hasn’t found a job.”

I flinched as he said Clara’s name. “The economy’s rough. She’ll find a job.”

“She’s so depressed.” He shrugged and looked away from me. “I don’t know that she’ll ever be able to work again. I heard my mom say that she thought Clara’s mom may lose her house.”

“What?” I frowned and felt a nerve jumping in my neck. “I thought she had insurance money.”

“It’s gone.” His voice sounded normal, but the words seemed to reverberate in my mind. Well, really only one word. Gone. Gone. Gone. It was like the clanging of a gong against my temple.

“I’ll see if I can give her some money.” I shook my head, trying to shake the inevitable headache I knew was coming.

Luke made a face. “For the rest of her life?”

“I don’t know.” I sighed and looked away from him again. “I gotta go.”

“Think about the fight. It could solve a lot of problems.” Luke made one last passionate plea. “And giving Clara’s mom a bunch of money may make you feel better.”

“I guess.” I shrugged, but a light in my head went off at his words.

“You can even help Eden with her tuition.”

“Yeah.”

“When are they coming home though? I seriously haven’t seen Eden or Riley in ages.”

“Eden was home a few weekends ago.” I opened the front door. “And Riley’s not my family so I have no clue what she is doing.”

“Is she dating anyone?” he asked curiously, and my heart stopped for a second.

“Who knows?” I looked at the wall, trying to ignore the tightening of my chest. “I don’t have her call me with updates.”

“She knows better than that. They both do. Who needs a father with a shotgun when you’ve got a brother that can fight them off with his hands?”

“She’s not my sister,” I muttered. “And I don’t beat guys off of anyone.”

“What about if it’s for a million dollars?”

“Luke.” I stared at his goofy smile for a second and then shook my head. “I swear, if we weren’t friends I would smack you.”

“Lucky for me, we’ve been friends since we were kids.” He laughed. “I’m too pretty to be bruised.”

“But I guess I’m ugly enough to stand a few scrapes and cuts?”

“You’re handsome enough to look even hotter with a few scars.” Luke shrugged. “It’ll just make more women want you.”

“I don’t want more women to like me.”

“You have to get over Clara at some point, Hudson.” Luke’s voice was suddenly serious, and once again I froze at his words. “I know it hurts, but—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I quickly walked over to the door. “I’m out. I’ll see you later to shoot some hoops?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you at the court. I still...”

I didn’t hear the rest of Luke’s words as I immediately closed the door and walked to my car.

* * *

I decided to go swimming as soon as I got home. I was lucky enough to live in an apartment complex that had an Olympic-size pool. I wasn’t really sure how Rosemead Apartments had gotten the money to put in any sort of pool, but I wasn’t complaining. I walked through the parking lot filled with old and rusting cars and tried to ignore the crowd of guys huddled at the end of the parking lot, talking loudly and passing something around in a small bag. I could guess at what was in the bag, but I didn’t really want to know. I didn’t want anything to do with the other guys who lived in the Rosemead complex. I didn’t need any trouble.

I noticed a young blond guy with a marine buzz cut staring at me, and I started jogging to get away from them. I wished moving out were as easy. I hated living here at Rosemead; I absolutely hated it, but I felt like I needed to. Not because I couldn’t afford to live anywhere else. But this was for Clara. This was to make her happy.

Jamilah waved at me excitedly. “Hey, Hudson.”

“Hi, Jamilah.” I grinned at the little girl who was about to dive into the pool. “How is school going?”

“School is school.” She made a face. “It’s boring. But I think I’m going to make the swim team.”

“Well of course.” I smiled at her and looked around. “Where is your mom?”

“At work.” Jamilah chewed on her lower lip as she twisted her arms. “She got a new job, but she has to work evenings.”

“Where’s Marcus?”

“Doing his homework.” She shrugged. “I just came to practice swimming for an hour. Don’t tell my mom.”

I looked at her and tried to keep the smile on my face. I didn’t want her to see how upset I was. Jamilah was only ten and her brother was only eight. I felt bad that their mom had to leave them alone while she went to work, but I was angry that Jamilah was here by herself when I knew she was still a beginning swimmer.

“Hey, next time you want to go swimming and your mom isn’t home, come and find me, okay?” I gave her a look. “And if I’m not home, wait until me or your mom is available.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “Do you want to race?”

“Race?” I laughed. “But you know you’ll beat me.”

“I won’t.” She giggled. “I’ll be slow this time.”

“You can’t go slow just for me.” I smiled at her. “You need to go your fastest.”

“I will.” I watched the light fade from her eyes before she spoke again. “Hudson, do you think I have a real shot of making the team?”

“Of course!”

“But what if my mom can’t afford it?” She looked away from me. “There are fees to be a part of the team and she just got this job.”

“Jamilah, you’re ten. Let your mom worry about that.” I ran my hands over the top of her head to comfort her. “You just practice swimming.”

“Yeah, I guess.” She nodded. “Okay, one, two, three, go.” And with that, she did a clean dive into the pool and started doing a front crawl.

I watched her swim for a few seconds and then dove in behind her. The water felt cold and crisp against my skin, and my brain soared to life at the shock of my body submerging into the cold water without a second thought. My arms stretched out and got into their rhythm automatically: one, two, breathe, one, two, breathe.

I saw Jamilah’s legs kicking furiously in front of me as she tried desperately to keep her lead, and I slowed my pace slightly to ensure that I didn’t overtake her. I wanted to give her the confidence she needed to make certain she didn’t give up on her swimming dream. I could tell from the way that she was talking that it wasn’t going to take much to dissuade her.

It saddened me that she wasn’t pursuing her dreams like a normal kid. A kid shouldn’t have to worry about money or being bullied. I sighed inwardly as I reached the other side of the pool and thought to myself, If only there was a way for me to give her mom some money.

“I beat you, I beat you!” She splashed me with the water as she grinned at me. “I can’t believe I beat you.”

“I guess it’s the Olympics up for you next.”

“They’ll play the national anthem for me,” she beamed. “That would be awesome.”

“Yes, it would be.” I nodded in agreement.

“I wish it would really happen.” The smile left her face and she pushed herself out of the pool.

“It could happen if you practice a lot.” I jumped out of the pool with her.

“I don’t know.” She looked down. “I have to support my mom.”

Her words made me freeze. The memories that brought back to me were bittersweet, and I could feel my heart racing. Jamilah stood there shivering as water slid down her body and her eyes were full of sadness. She was too young to be taking on the cares of her mother.

I repeated the words I had said to Clara so many times. “It’s not your responsibility to take care of your mom.”

“She doesn’t make much money.” She shrugged. “I want to help her.”

“That’s admirable of you, Jammy.”  I gave her a quick hug. “But your mom is doing fine.”

“I wish she was home more.” She hugged me back and then giggled. “What flavor jam am I?”

“What flavor jam do you want to be?” I whispered, playing the game we’d been playing for the last year.

“Not raspberry jam.” She made a face. “Or mixed fruit. Mixed fruit jam is yucky.”

“What about strawberry?” I smiled down at her. “You like strawberry jam, don’t you?”

“Yes!” She smiled up at me. “I love strawberry jam.”

“Then you’re my strawberry Jammy.” I winked at her, and she giggled.

“I should go and check on Marcus.” She sighed. “Make sure he’s doing his homework.”

“Yeah, you should.” I smiled. “I’ll walk you to your apartment.”

She shook her head and made a little face. “You don’t have to do that.”

I laughed. “Have I told you that you remind me of a girl I once knew?”

She shook her head as we walked. “No, who?”

“When I was younger, I used to tease a girl on the bus. Her name was Riley, and one day she went to her mom and complained about me. Her mom came to my parents’ house and told them what was going on. She asked if she could ask me to protect her instead of my being punished.” I smiled at the memory as I spoke. “Well, that girl and I became friends, and she always used to make faces at me.”

“Is she your best friend?”

“No. Luke. You remember Luke? Well, he’s my best friend.”

“He’s goofy.” She made a face and then stopped, her hand flying to her mouth as she looked at me sheepishly. “I mean, he’s nice, but goofy.”

“That describes him perfectly.” I smiled at her.

“So, are you and Riley still friends?”

“No, not really.” I frowned as I thought of her. I paused as I let the feelings of love, joy, wonder, hurt, horror, and heartbreak wash over me. “She has her own life now.” I tried to smile again, but couldn’t.

I could see Riley’s face in my mind as clear as day. It made me feel incredibly guilty and incredibly sad. Riley was a part of my life that I couldn’t think about anymore. Not after what had happened. Not after Clara. It didn’t matter what I wished were different. This was my life now. I thought back to my earlier conversation with Luke and sighed inwardly. I had a feeling I was going to try and enter that fight. A million dollars would go a long way. I knew what Clara would want me to do, and I couldn’t let her down. Not now.