Текст книги "Bastard"
Автор книги: J. L. Perry
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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 30 страниц)
Bastard.
Following him up the stairs towards the seats, I ask, “How far up are we going?”
“Back row.”
“I don’t think so,” I say as I tug on his arm to stop. “Just here is fine.”
“Why don’t you want to sit in the back row?” He’s kidding right? “Don’t you trust me to behave myself?” He gives me a look like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. Nice try. I know for a fact it would sizzle.
“I don’t think you know how to behave,” I laugh.
“I resent that remark,” he says mocking fake hurt. He knows damn well I’m right. His next comment just confirms it. “Do you really think sitting here is going to stop me from misbehaving? Because you know as well as I do, it won’t.” Although his words make me want to clench my thighs together, I swallow nervously.
The predatory look in his eyes as I pass him to take my seat has my insides doing flip-flops. I know I’m not ready for anything like that yet, but in saying that, I know I wouldn’t be able to stop if he tried. I remember all too well just how good he made me feel all those years ago.
I can’t tell you how many times I’d wished Mark could make me feel even a fraction of what Carter used to, but sadly he never did. I shouldn’t even compare them, but after being with Carter it’s pretty hard not to.
Carter sits beside me, placing the popcorn on my lap. “Thank you,” I say looking straight ahead. The intense look on his face just now has made me nervous for some reason. I can’t bring myself to make eye contact with him. It has me feeling apprehensive about agreeing to come. For my heart’s sake, I need time. I need to be sure this is going to work before it goes any further.
“Relax,” he says nudging me with his elbow. “You’re lucky I’m in a behaving mood.” My eyes dart to him and I find him smiling. It’s sweet and reassuring, but I still have my doubts. I can’t help but roll my eyes. This is Carter Reynolds we’re talking about. I pick up a piece of popcorn and pop it into my mouth, relaxing back into my seat. We’ll just see about that.
The movie I chose to watch is Fast and Furious. It’s the seventh movie in the franchise. He gets to drool over the cars, and I get to check out the hot guys. Although I already know they won’t compare with the one sitting next to me. I haven’t seen the first six movies, but he was kind enough to bring me here, so the least I could do is pick something he might enjoy.
We sit in silence waiting for the movie to start. Sure enough, a few minutes in and his antics start. Behaving mood my arse. He’s trying to act inconspicuous, but I see straight through him. Every time I reach into grab some popcorn, he does as well. His fingers always brushing against mine. It sends tingles up my arm each and every time. When I look at him, his head is forward focussing on the movie, but the smirk on his face tells me it’s intentional.
I watch as he takes a sip of the soda before offering it to me. My eyes move from the cup back up to him. This salty popcorn is making me thirsty, but I’m not a fan of sharing drinks. Never have been.
“What? I don’t have cooties,” he says pushing the cup my way.
“That’s debatable,” I retort, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t.” The tone of his voice makes me believe he’s offended. Of course I know better. Carter doesn’t offend easy. He leans forward into my space. “If I recall, you’ve had your tongue down my throat. Actually, now that I think about it, you’ve had my cock in your mouth. You didn’t keel over and die, so take a fucking sip,” he says shoving the drink towards my hand. My eyes widen. I can’t believe he just said that. My head turns towards the people sitting behind us. I hope they didn’t overhear.
“Fine,” I snap, snatching it out of his hand. He smiles when I wrap my mouth around the straw.
“See, no cooties,” he says when I pass it back to him. It makes me giggle.
“It’s early days,” I whisper, leaning towards him. “I’m sure cooties isn’t an instant death.” He playfully bumps me with his elbow.
“Again, I resent that remark.” His comment makes me laugh.
A few minutes later, his antics continue. Picking up a piece of popcorn, my hand moves towards my mouth when Carter’s fingers suddenly wrap around my wrist, stopping me midair. My eyes immediately move to his as he gives me a mischievous smile. Tugging on my arm, I watch on in horror as he pulls my hand towards his mouth. His eyes are locked with mine as his lips slowly close over my fingers and he sucks the popcorn out of my grip. When his tongue darts out and he seductively licks the salt off my skin, I inhale a sharp breath and clench my thighs together as desire sweeps through me. I recall with ease how magical that mouth of his feels. Releasing his grip on my wrist, he licks his lips.
“Delicious,” he breathes. Far out. He has me so turned on right now. Ugh! I’m sure that’s his plan.
I find myself stealing glances at him as we watch the movie. He’s so gorgeous. He seems to be enjoying it. I’ve caught him laughing a few times. It brought a smile to my face. Seeing him happy does something to me. I can’t explain it. He’s come so far in the last five years. He’s nothing like the troubled teen I knew all those years ago. He seems to show more of the real Carter these days. You have no idea how that makes me feel.
I’m surprised that apart from the popcorn incident, he now actually seems to be behaving. About halfway through the movie, that changes. I see him watching me out of the corner of my eye. Pretending I don’t notice, I keep my focus trained on the screen ahead. Then he goes and does one of those fake-arse yawns. You know, those lame ones you see in the movies. The ones that have the guy yawning with their arms stretched wide, before slyly wrapping it around the girl’s shoulder.
“You did not just try that lame move on me,” I laugh.
“What? I yawned,” he says giving me a sheepish grin. He doesn’t fool me for a minute. “Ain’t a guy allowed to yawn these days without the girl getting the wrong idea?”
“You’re such a nerd sometimes,” I say throwing a piece of popcorn at him. He picks it up off his shirt and pops it in his mouth.
“That may be true, but the nerd always gets the girl in the end.” He winks at me before looking back at the screen. Of course he doesn’t remove his arm. Giving up, I rest my head on his shoulder and he pulls me in closer. When my eyes look up at his face, he’s smiling. It has me doing the same. I love being in his arms. I’ve really missed it.
CHAPTER NINE
Carter
Today’s gone better than I expected. Going to the movies is not something I thought I’d ever do, well not as an adult anyway. When I was a kid, that’s a different story. Unfortunately, back then my mum could never afford to take me.
I offered to take Indi because I thought she’d like it. Girls like that shit don’t they? I’ve never dated before so this is all new to me. I just wanted us to be together. To spend time with her any way I could.
Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed the movie we watched. I was sure she was going to pick some sappy chick flick, but she did good. Real good. My highlight though, was her.
After we left the cinema, I casually slipped my hand into hers, lacing our fingers together. She didn’t seem to mind, which pleased me more than I care to admit. Whenever I’m near her, I have an overwhelming desire to have my hands on her. I know we’re taking it slow, but a touch here or there isn’t too much. I can tell by the way she reacts to my slightest touch that she can feel this thing, whatever the fuck it is. It’s still as strong as ever. Given half the chance, we could be explosive together. I know it.
We walked a few blocks until we found a nice restaurant, laughing and talking about the movie as we did. This is the closest I’ve ever come to being on a real date. But fuck me if I don’t want to experience all that with Indiana. I get a buzz whenever I’m with her. It’s electric. She makes me feel alive. When we were kids, the feelings she evoked within me freaked me the hell out, but now I embrace them. I need them. I crave them. Crave her. I’ve denied myself for too long.
Later that afternoon, Ross invited my mum and me over for a barbeque. Having the three most important people in my life together is a great feeling. Is it wrong that I wish we were a family, because I do? I wish Ross was my father, but more than anything, I wish Indiana was my girl. I guess if I eventually get her, I’ll get him by default.
I’m gonna try my damned hardest to make that happen.
••••
It was late by the time mum and I arrived back home last night. I’d planned to drive back to Newcastle, but decided to leave early this morning instead. I was enjoying my time with them too much. I didn’t want it to end. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like part of a family. My mum even seemed happier than she has since Fuckwit died. There were no tears, and even a few smiles.
Ross and Indi both walked us out, so I never got to say the proper goodbye I would’ve liked. She knows I’m going back home again, but I promised her I’d return at the end of the week.
It’s 5:00am when I throw my bag in the car. I need to get on the road before the traffic gets too bad. Peak hour is a real bitch. I’ll never get back in time to open the shop by 8:30am if I don’t leave soon.
I’ve looked over in the direction of Indiana’s bedroom a dozen times since waking, hoping to see her light on. I’m silently willing her to wake up. I need to see her one more time before I go. It’s going to be five long days before I’m back. I exhale when I open the driver’s side door. Her room is still bathed in darkness. I continue to stand there staring. Fuck it. I gotta see her.
Jogging over to her window, I tap lightly. “Indi. Indi. Are you awake?” I hear LJ bark from inside her room. I know that will wake her. Good boy. I need to bring him back a huge motherfucking steak when I return. Her light comes on so I tap again. “Indi. It’s me, Carter.”
“Carter. What are you doing? It’s 5:00am,” she says in a sexy-as-fuck sleepy voice that has my cock stirring. It takes every ounce of control I have not to jump through that window and have my way with her. She rubs her eyes and squints as she tries to adjust to the light. She looks so fucking sweet when she just wakes up. Her hair is all over the place, but fuck me if she isn’t the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I know. Sorry. I just wanted to see you again before I left.” She smiles when I say that. “Can I get your number, if that’s okay? I’d like to call you during the week.”
“You would?” Her face lights up like she’s surprised that I’d want to. Doesn’t she realise how hard these five days away from her are going to be for me?
“I’m going to miss you,” I tell her. Because I am.
“I’m going to miss you, too.” Now I’m the one smiling like a fool. When she starts rattling off her number, I pull my phone out so I can program it in.
“I’ll call you, alright,” I say sliding the phone back into my pocket.
“Okay. Drive carefully.”
“I will.” I stand there looking up at her. Why is it so hard for me to walk away? “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“I’m glad you did.” My eyes drift from hers down to her lips. I want to kiss her so fucking bad, but I’m not sure if she’d want that. Fuck it. I’ll never know if I don’t try. Reaching up, I cup her face in my hands. I’m going in.
Gently, I pull her face forward until her lips meet mine. I give her a soft, sweet kiss. Not the kind I’d like to give, but anything more than this and I’ll never leave. When I pull away, I rest my forehead against hers.
“I’ll be back Friday night.”
“I look forward to it,” she whispers.
“Go back to sleep.”
“Okay,” she breathes as she straightens, reaching for the window.
“Bye, beautiful.”
“Bye, Carter.”
I’m smiling as I walk back towards my car. I swear there’s even a spring in my step that wasn’t there previously. Taking out my phone, I send her a quick text.
Dream of me …
Her reply makes me laugh.
You wish. x
••••
For the next few days she’s on my mind night and day. Even though I’d like to, I refrain from calling her every fucking hour. I manage to limit it to one text in the morning and a call each night. Monday night we talked for nearly an hour. It’s amazing how much you can learn about someone when you sit down and have a full-on conversation with them.
I still give her a hard time whenever I can. I’m not sure I’ll ever tire of riling her up. It’s too much fun. She gives as good as she gets. I love that about her. She’s really opened up to me over the past few nights, and I have with her. It’s all the silly insignificant things I’m learning about her that I love most.
Like how she prefers savoury food over sweets. That’s because she’s already plenty sweet enough. She has a vast taste in music. Her favourite colour is pink. When she was little she wanted to grow up to be a fireman or a princess. She’s wanted a horse since she was four years old. All the little things that make her, her. That make her special.
Last night we talked for nearly three hours until Indi eventually fell asleep with the phone next to her ear. I stayed on the line for ages afterwards, just listening to her breathe like some crazy-arse stalker. I don’t know why I torture myself like that. It only made me want to climb through the phone and hold her in my arms.
What’s she fucking doing to me?
I shook my head with disgust when I finally ended the call and headed into the bathroom for a cold shower. I haven’t even looked at another girl since I first went back home for the funeral. My eyes are only for her. She’s under my skin again, but this time I’m afraid it’s for good. Fuck me. I may as well cut my damn balls off and mail them to her.
••••
One more sleep. I sound like a fucking kid. It’s Thursday and all I can think about is tomorrow we’ll be together again. I’ve been wishing the days away all week. Not only for the weekend to roll around, but for the nights to come so I can call her.
After finishing off a job, I look at the time on my phone. 1:00pm. I was running late this morning so I didn’t get time for breakfast. My receptionist, Justine, got me a coffee on her way to work. She always does that. She’s a good kid.
There’s a twenty-minute break before my next job so I decide to head out to get some lunch. I need some fucking food. “I’m getting something to eat,” I tell Justine as I walk past the front desk. I’m not even out the door and my phone rings. Ross’ name lights up my screen. Fuck. Why would he be calling me in the middle of the day? My heart is beating out of my chest when I answer the call. My first thought is something is wrong with Indi or my mum.
“Hey, Ross. Is everything okay?” I ask before he has the chance to speak.
“That’s why I’m calling you. I’m not sure, son. Has Indi mentioned anything to you about the headaches she’s been getting?”
“What? No. Why?” This is the first time I’m hearing about it.
“She’s been getting a lot lately. She didn’t tell me, but I’ve noticed she’s been lying down a lot during the day. That’s not like her. This morning I confronted her. Apparently she’s been getting them for the past two weeks.”
“She hasn’t said a word.” Sure I’m not happy about it, but she’s been going through a lot lately, so I don’t think much of it. “I’m sure it’s nothing, Ross. It’s probably just stress.”
“That’s what she said. I’m worried, Carter. She won’t go to the doctor. She’s so damn stubborn sometimes.” You can clearly hear the frustration in his voice. “I was hoping you could talk to her.”
“If it was anything serious, I’m sure she’d go and see about it,” I say trying to reassure him, or maybe myself.
“I don’t think you understand, Carter. This is exactly how things started with Isabella.”
“Hold on,” I say. He’s lost me. “Who’s Isabella?”
“My wife. Indiana’s mother.” My heart drops into the pit of my stomach. Now it all makes sense. She died of a brain tumour. Oh fuck, does he think Indi has a tumour? When my knees buckle beneath me, I place my hand against the wall in front of me to hold myself up. “Carter. Are you still there?”
“Yes. She needs to go and see about it straight away,” I blurt out in a panic.
“I’ve tried to make her. She won’t listen. I even lost my temper with her this morning. I’ve never screamed at her before. Never. Carter, I can’t lose her too,” he pleads. When his voice cracks it feels like a knife is being plunged into my heart. The thought of losing her is unfathomable.
“Leave it with me,” is all I say as I end the call. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. My shoulders slump and my hands fist in my hair as I exhale a huge breath. This can’t be fucking happening. When I’m steady on my feet again, I turn to face Justine. “Cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.”
“Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
“I’ve gotta go,” I say as I turn and push through the door.
Fuck. I think I’m gonna be sick.
CHAPTER TEN
Indiana
I’m hiding out in my room away from my dad when Carter comes barrelling through my door. Have I got my days mixed up? I thought he wasn’t coming back until tomorrow night. The look on his face tells me he’s not happy. He stalks towards me without uttering a word. Suddenly, I’m lifted from my bed and slung over his shoulder in one swift motion.
“Carter! What the hell?” Has he lost his damn mind?
“If I was you, I’d keep that trap of yours shut. I’m in no need for your bullshit,” he snaps as his hand comes down hard on my arse. Ouch.
“What the fuck is your problem? Put me the hell down, arsehole.” All the blood is rushing to my head making it throb.
“Zip it,” he says as he storms through the kitchen heading towards the front door. I’m upside down, but I can clearly see the smile on my father’s face as I pass.
“Daddy, help me. He’s lost his mind,” I scream.
“Sorry, Pumpkin. Can’t do that. It’s for the best.” What? Next thing I know, I’m being seated in the passenger side of Carter’s car. Immediately I try to get back out. I’m not going anywhere with this crazy-arse bastard.
“Don’t even think about it,” he growls, giving me a look that instantly has me recoiling in the seat. He reaches for the seatbelt and leans over me, clicking it into place. “If you try and escape you’ll be sorry.” He locks the passenger side door before stalking around to the driver’s side. All the while my dad stands on the front porch with a grin on his face. I pinch myself. This has to be a nightmare. Ouch. Nope I’m awake.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask when he’s seated in the car. His angry eyes meet mine.
“Where do you think? To the fucking doctors.” Oh hell fucking no. Christ, my dad must’ve called him. Traitor. How could he?
“You can’t make me go,” I say reaching for the buckle of my seatbelt.
“I can and I will,” he replies grabbing my hand to stop me. Tears burn my eyes. I’m not sure if it’s from anger because he’s forcing me to do this, or from fear. I have no interest in hearing what the doctor has to say. None whatsoever.
“You can’t force me to do this,” I sneer through gritted teeth.
“I’ve got news for you, sweetheart. I can, and I fucking will.”
“This is kidnapping.” If this fucker didn’t just snatch me from my bed without giving me the chance to grab my purse or my phone, I’d be calling triple zero right now.
“Kidnapping,” he chuckles like some evil psychopath. “Your father’s a police officer and he doesn’t see it that way.” His head snaps in my direction when I reach for the door handle. He looks at my hand before making eye contact with me. One of his evil eyebrows raise as he gives me a warning look that say’s, don’t try me.
“I can’t believe you two,” I snap letting go of the door and crossing my arms over my chest like a spoilt child. Talk about overreacting. It’s a damn headache. I exhale an exasperated breath as he starts the car and backs out of the driveway. “I hate you right now.” His brow furrows and his grip on the steering wheel tightens making his knuckles turn white, but he chooses to ignore my comment.
No words are spoken on the drive to the doctor’s surgery. I’m pissed that they’re making me go. When he parks the car, he gets out. Crossing my arms over my chest in protest, I don’t move. He walks around to my side of the car and opens the door. “Get out,” he demands.
“Make me.” He sighs before bending over and undoing my seatbelt.
“Have it your way,” he growls before lifting me out of the car and slinging me over his shoulder again.
“Put me down, arsehole. I’ll walk.” I’m mortified that he’s going to carry me inside.
“Nope. You had your chance.”
“You suck,” I tell him as I slap his back like a brat. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to hear what the doctor has to say. I suddenly understand how my mum felt when she was faced with this. Tears of frustration rise to my eyes. Sometimes it’s better off not knowing the truth. In my heart I know what he’s going to say. I’ve had my headache for over two weeks. At first I thought it was stress, but when things settled down and they still didn’t go away, I started to have my doubts. Although it worried me, I pushed all my concerns to the back of my mind. I refused to believe it was anything but a simple headache. Even though logic told me it was more.
This morning when I confessed to my dad the reason why I’ve been lying down so much, not only did the colour completely drain from his face, but he had to reach out and grab hold of the table because his legs threatened to give out from underneath him. I knew in my heart my concerns were founded. I’m only twenty-two years old. I haven’t even experienced all that life has to offer.
I don’t want to die.
••••
An hour later we leave the doctor’s surgery. It’s safe to say my stomach is in knots. I have to fast from midnight tonight and be at the hospital by 8:00am tomorrow for a blood test and a CT scan. The doctor seemed quite concerned by the duration of my headaches and, of course, my family history. He called the hospital before we left to arrange my appointments for the morning. Dread fills me when I think about everything I’m going to have to face tomorrow.
We’re both silent on the drive home. Carter held my hand from the minute we entered the doctor’s room and didn’t let go until we left. He has no idea what having him by my side means. I’m still angry that he brought me here against my will, but I understand why he did. I’m grateful that he cares enough to make me come.
“How you feeling?” he asks when we pull into the driveway. I shrug. Numb would be the best word I guess. “It’s going to be okay,” he says reaching over the centre console and squeezing my leg. I appreciate the sentiment behind his words, but is it going to be okay? Am I going to end up another statistic, just like my mum? Tears burn my eyes when I think of what this is going to do to my dad.
“I need to go and talk to my dad,” I say, my voice cracking. I remove my seatbelt and reach for the handle on the door. “Thanks for forcing me to go against my will, I guess.” What else can I say to him? This is exactly why I didn’t want to go in the first place.
I don’t want to know.
Carter removes his seatbelt and quickly exits the car. Before I know it, he’s opening the passenger side door and pulling me into his arms. He squeezes me so damn tight I think I’m going to bust. When he eventually lets go, he cups my face in his hands. The look I see in his eyes is almost my undoing. I can’t break down in front of him. He’ll think I’m weak.
“Whatever happens tomorrow, I promise you we’ll get through it together.” That’s all it takes for the dam to burst. Shit. I’ve been trying to keep my emotions at bay since we left the doctors. I inhale a large breath to force the tears back down, but as I do, an ugly sob escapes me. “Fuck,” he says as he engulfs me in is arms again, pinning the side of my face against his chest with his hand. I hear the erratic beat of his heart as his body trembles against mine.
••••
Carter is on my doorstep at 7:00am. I never asked him to come with me this morning, but I guess he’s invited himself. My dad didn’t take the news too well last night. Carter insisted that he come with me to break it to him, but I felt it was something I needed to do alone. I hate that my dad has to go through this all over again.
When his shoulders slumped and he buried his face in his hands and cried, it broke my heart. That was when I realised I need to fight this with everything I have. I need to be strong for him. No matter how I’m feeling on the inside, no matter what the outcome of the tests, I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it the best way I can.
“You don’t have to come with us this morning,” I tell Carter when I answer the door. “My dad has taken the next few days off work to be with me.”
“Well tough, I’m coming as well. For both of you,” he says as he pushes his way past me and enters the house. His pigheadedness should piss me off, but it doesn’t. I find myself smiling at his retreating back as he walks down the hall towards the kitchen. I may or may not be in for the fight of my life, but it’s good to know if I am, I’m not alone.
