Текст книги "Lovely Distraction"

Автор книги: J. J. Dorn

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

June 26, 2010…

It had been almost four months since I had fled the horrific scene I walked in on at Jamieson’s house. I had not heard from him. I had heard through Audrey who occasionally still talked to Derrick, that Jamieson had moved to London. The news hit me hard at first. It made things seem so final in a way to have him living so far away, but as the months passed I found comfort in knowing I wouldn’t run into him randomly. I knew our paths would definitely not cross and it gave me the ability to heal in a way I don’t think I would have been able to had I thought he was still so close by. If I am totally honest with myself though, Jamieson did weigh into my decision to leave for Vanderbilt early. Before I had learned he was living in London, I had made arrangements to move a month earlier than I had originally expected to. Audrey, being the amazing friend she is, agreed to move early with me so I wouldn’t be alone. I was looking forward to law school. I knew it was going to be an overwhelming experience but I was ready for a new adventure. I was also more than ready to have something other than my emotional trauma to consume me.

Audrey and I were leaving in a few days and Olivia had insisted on throwing us a big going away bash at Havens. For the first time in a long while I actually felt excited and a little like my old self. I was looking forward to seeing my friends and celebrating one last time before I tackled the monumental feat.

“Is this dress too short?” I asked Audrey as we walked arm-in-arm toward the bar.

“Hell no! It makes that big booty of yours look amazing.” Audrey reassured me.

I had chosen a tight jersey dress with a low back and my favorite studded heals. Audrey wore a cute pair of black shorts and a gold shimmery top with sky high stilettos. She looked fierce as usual.

“So do you know who is coming tonight?” I asked Audrey. Olivia had kept all the details of our party pretty quiet.

“I have no idea.” She led the way into the bar.

I followed close behind Audrey as we made our way around the corner of the entrance. Once inside, we were greeted by a crowd of our friends and family. Across the back of the bar there was a huge banner that said “Caution: Lawyers in Training!” Leave it to Livy to come up with something like that.

I made my way into the crowd greeting my friends and family. Spotting Jacks and Lukas near the front, I waved and they headed over.

“I can’t believe you actually got her to come out,” I said to Lukas.

“I know, right?” Lukas grinned.

“Hey I have a baby now; I can’t be going out to bars,” Jacks argued in her defense.

“You used to be so much fun,” I kidded her.

“I’m still fun! Tell her I’m fun, babe,” she looked to Lukas for backup.

“You’re still fun sweetheart, you have always been fun,” Lukas reassured her, draping his arm around her and whispering something in her ear making her giggle.

“So Jenna, when do you leave?” Lukas asked still grinning from whatever dirty thing he whispered in his wife’s ear.

“Wednesday. Audrey and I are driving Dad’s truck with the U-haul trailer. He is going to come up on the weekend and bring me my car and help us unpack the big stuff.”

“I can’t believe you are leaving again so soon. We just got you back,” Jacks whined.

“I know but Nashville isn’t that far away. I can come home to visit and you guys can come see me anytime,” I offered.

“I know it’s the best thing for you right now, but I’m still selfish. I’m going to miss my little sister. I was just getting used to having you home again,” she said giving me a huge hug.

“Oh geez she is getting emotional already,” Lukas said rolling his eyes.

“Well I’m glad to see you aren’t torn up about my impeding move, brother,” I shot back at him.

In reply, Lukas wrapped me up in a huge hug and kissed my cheek. “You will always be my kid sister, and of course I will miss you.”

“Thanks Lukas.” I gave him a big smile.

“Alright, stop standing here with us and go mingle with some dudes. You didn’t wear that dress for nothing,” he said as he released me.

“Thanks for coming guys,” I called over my shoulder as I walked toward Livy on the other side of the bar.

Livy was talking to some of our friends from high school whom she invited. I snuck up behind her and hugged her from behind.

“I love you bestie, thank you for the amazing party,” I told her still hugging her.

“Group hug!” I heard Audrey come rushing up behind me smashing into us.

“Well it’s not every day that your best friends go off to law school and leave you at boring old home,” Olivia pouted.

“You know you could move with us,” I told her again. Audrey and I had offered repeatedly for her to come with us, but she had refused. She had recently accepted an internship at an advertising agency that focused on fashion that she was pretty excited about.

“Oh, I will be fine at home. Plus I know better than to move in with two soon-to-be law students. You guys will be so busy you will barely have time to breathe let alone hang out,” she replied.

“Well you still have to come up and visit. I hear they have some pretty hot guys at law school,” Audrey smiled.

“Oh heck yes I will be up there,” Livy smiled back at us.

I couldn’t help but feel sad leaving Olivia behind. It was different in undergrad because Olivia and Audrey had attended the University of Alabama but I had left to go to University of Tennessee on my own. Since we had all moved back to Huntsville we had been inseparable, it was going to be hard not having her with us, but I was glad to have Audrey by myside.

The three of us ordered drinks and chatted with our friends.

“Oh shit what are they doing here?” I heard Livy say from beside me looking shocked.

I followed her stare and saw Julian walking through the door. I immediately perched up on my tip toes to look around for Jamieson.

“Who is he with?” Audrey said pushing her way through the crowd to see.

“He’s with Derrick.” Olivia answered her.

My heart instantly slowed but at the same time I felt the smallest pang of disappointment.

“Here they come,” Audrey warned in a harsh tone.

All three of us tried to pretend we hadn’t been watching their entrance.

“The party is finally here, ladies.” Derrick shot us his signature cocky grin.

“Hi Derrick.” All three of us said in unison.

“Ladies! I have missed you all,” Julian announced, coming up beside us draping his arms over me and Olivia.

Livy shrugged out of his arm and stormed off. I watched as Julian’s eyes followed her exit. I caught the slightest look of regret in his face before he replaced it with his signature smile.

“So I hear you pretty ladies are going off to become lawyers,” Julian said.

“Yup, we leave this week,” I explained.

“Well that’s a damn shame. Seems our group keeps getting smaller and smaller, with JW moving to London,” he mused.

The mere mention of Jamieson made my skin prick up and the pain washed over me. I tried my best to hide it.

“What are you drinking Belle?” I heard Derrick ask Audrey. He had nicknamed her Belle because he liked to tease her about being such a southern belle. She of course hated the nickname.

“Cosmo,” she replied to him.

“Come on, let me get you another one,” Derrick said leading her toward the bartender.

I watched as they walked away still trying to keep my feelings in check.

“How you holding up Jenna?” Julian asked completely catching me off guard.

“Huh?” I turned to look at him, and was met with a look of concern.

“You doing alright?” he asked again.

“Yeah, I’m great,”

Julian shook his head lightly. “I shouldn’t tell you this but fuck it, I’m going to anyways. He asks about you.”

“What?” I had heard him just fine but what he was saying wasn’t making any sense to me.

“When he calls, he asks if I have seen you and if you are doing alright,” he clarified.

“Why would he do that?” I was genuinely confused now.

“I don’t know, I’m guessing he feels bad for how things went down,” he answered.

“Really? He didn’t seem to feel bad when I walked in on him naked in bed with two chicks.” Julian may have caught me off guard at first but now my anger was back tenfold.

“I know he fucked up, Jenna. I think he knows he fucked up, but that doesn’t mean the guy doesn’t still care about you.”

“No that is exactly what it means. You don’t care about someone if you are willing to cheat on them,” I snapped.

“I get it, you have every right to be angry but maybe there are things you don’t know.” Julian was trying his best to defend the defenseless.

“You know what, how about next time he calls you tell him for me that I hope his dick rots off!” With that I stormed off looking for Livy. The nerve of him!

I had found Olivia brooding in the corner. She was less than impressed with Julian’s presence at the party. I hadn’t truly noticed in the last few months but standing there watching Livy I realized my friend was nursing her own heartache. I had told her about Julian and the slut from the party the night I walked in on Jamieson. She said she didn’t really care that they had just been having fun, but now it was evident that it had been more than just fun, for her at least.

We spent the rest of the night drinking and laughing with the rest of our guests. On the whole it had been a good night and I was glad to have the chance to say goodbye to my friends and family. At the end of the night, I shared a cab home with Livy and Audrey.

I made it home to my almost completely packed up apartment. It was lonely seeing all the boxes stacked up in my living room. Ignoring the feelings of sadness, I got ready for bed and snuggled into my pillow.

I was almost asleep when my phone rang next to me. I looked at the screen and didn’t recognize the number. I answered even though I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea.

“Hello?” I answered groggily into the phone.

“Jenna?”

It was him. Just hearing him say my name sent unwanted shivers up my spine.

“Please don’t hang up.” he pleaded.

“What do you want Jamieson,” I demanded.

“I…uh…I just wanted to make sure you are okay,” he said cautiously.

I laughed sarcastically. “I am fine. What is it that you really want?”

“Are you fine? Julian said—”

I cut him off. “No you don’t get to call me in the middle of the night asking if I am okay four months after you broke my heart! You didn’t care then and I certainly don’t believe for a second you care now. So spare me the bullshit and tell me why you really called,” I growled through the phone.

He didn’t say anything for a long time and then let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry I called. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Well I’m great so you don’t need to worry,”

“I know you don’t believe me, Jenna but I do care about you, more than you will ever know. I will always care about you.”

“Forgive me if I find that a bit hard to believe,” I said my voice dripping with sarcasm and bitterness.

“I deserve that and more. I get it but that doesn’t change the fact that I worry about you. Please just take care of yourself,” his voice was desperate which struck me as strange.

“I’m a big girl Jamieson I will be fine.” I snapped back to him.

“I know that. Good luck in law school, Jenna, I know you will do amazing,” he told me and then hung up. What in the hell was that all about?

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Call it poor decision-making or call it asking for trouble, but whatever it was I had made the choice to move in with my ex-boyfriend now turned husband. Like Olivia had said over the phone when I told her, “What could possibly go wrong, right?”

I had been there almost a month and things were surprisingly okay. Jamieson had been gone for most of that time. He had to oversee a new business venture in Europe so I had the house to myself pretty much, well minus my new roommates on the first floor. I was quickly learning there was something to be said for having guy roommates. Derrick and Julian may have been messy and load but they were tons of fun too.

The first few days of the move had been intense as Jamieson was still home. He insisted on helping me pack up my apartment and get everything into storage. But after that I didn’t see him much, I figured he was giving me my space. He worked long hours and came home late at night. When he did come home, he locked himself in his bedroom only to reemerge very early to go to work. I was hoping I would only be living there a short time. I was keeping myself occupied sending out as many resumes as I could. I was bound and determined to get another job as quickly as possible. I knew it was my ticket to freedom.

I was sort of dreading Jamieson coming home from his business trip. For the last couple of weeks I had become relaxed in my environment, laughing and joking with Julian and Derrick while watching TV at night. I even was learning to play a little Grand Theft Auto, as Derrick had insisted on teaching me. The guys were a blast and they had really helped take my mind off what a disaster my life had become. I knew that chill and fun environment would change today as soon as Jamieson came home.

“Morning J,” Derrick greeted me as I rounded the corner to the kitchen to grab some breakfast for the day.

“Good morning, Derrick,” I replied to him trying to ignore the fact he was only in his boxers and drinking milk straight from the gallon.

“You know there are glasses you can use,” I suggested, glaring at him.

“Man JW, is this what it’s like to be married? Getting nagged at all the time?”

I hadn’t noticed Jamieson at the far end of the kitchen. He was sorting through his mail dressed in a sharp navy suit.

Jamieson didn’t answer Derrick he just grumbled something inaudible.

“Hi Jamieson. I didn’t know you were home yet,” I said to him.

“I got in early this morning.” he informed me, not looking up from his mail.

I in return tried to ignore his presence and quickly grabbed a banana for breakfast. I had gone to the grocery store when I first arrived but my food stash had been raided several times over by my ill-mannered roomies.

“You still need a ride today, J?” Derrick asked me as he continued to rummage through the fridge for food.

“Yeah I do. You still okay to give me a lift to the farm?”

In a craptackular turn of events, my car broke down a few days ago and was currently in the shop. It was going to be there until at least the end of the week. Derrick and Julian had been kind enough to give me rides when I needed them.

“What happened to your car?” Jamieson stopped what he was doing and looked at us.

“Oh it broke down while I was on the highway a few days ago. I had it towed to the dealership and they are fixing it, but it won’t be ready for a few more days,” I told him.

“You need a ride?” he questioned me.

“No. Derrick said he could take me so I’m okay.” I replied to him.

“I will take you. When do you need to leave?” Jamieson stated sternly.

I looked over to Derrick for help but he just grinned and shrugged his shoulders before abandoning me in the kitchen with Jamieson.

“I can be ready in a few minutes.” I said choking back the last bit of banana.

“Great, I’m ready whenever you are.” He ignored me once again to check his cell phone this time.

I left the kitchen and dashed upstairs to get on my riding clothes. I had told my sister I would come help her ride some young horses today. Since she was pregnant again she no longer could ride the young training horses, it was too dangerous. She had hired an assistant named Grayson a little over a year ago and he was now riding all the horses Jacks couldn’t, but there was still too many to ride in one day. I figured since I was currently unemployed I might as well help out at the farm.

The tension in the truck was palpable. Jamieson had remained his quiet self and it was putting me on edge.

“Do you remember where it is?” I asked him as we drove down the highway toward the farm.

“Yes,” was his only reply.

“Did your business trip go okay?” I asked out of anxiousness.

Again all he said was, “Yes.”

“Where did you go exactly?” I continued my nervous small talk.

“Italy.”

“Oh nice! I have always wanted to go. Is it as gorgeous as everyone says it is?” I couldn’t seem to stop my nervous babbling.

“I suppose,” is all he offered in return.

He clearly didn’t want anything to do with me or this conversation which hurt my feelings for some unknown reason. It wasn’t that I really needed Jamieson’s attention, but I found it confusing considering he practically demanded I move in with him.

I crossed my arms over my chest defensively and turned to watch the rolling pasture land out the window.

We rode in complete silence for a long time until Jamieson broke it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I said still pissed off.

“No it’s not. I’m just having a hard time adjusting to you being around.”

Now I was more than pissed I was offended. Screw him. It was not my idea to move in with him. I can damn well just go to my sisters if that’s how he felt. “I’m sorry. I told you I didn’t want to move in. I can be out by the end of the week.”

Jamieson slowed the truck pulling it over to the side of the highway. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It doesn’t matter, this was a bad idea. I can move in with my sister no big deal. I will just come by and get my stuff later,” I tried to seem indifferent to his rudeness.

“Damn it Jenna that is not what I want!” He yelled slamming his fist into the steering wheel. What the hell?

“Uh, okay then what is your problem, because I’m completely confused. You barely talk to me and you act pissed off all the time. So enlighten me, what is the problem if it’s not me?” I was exasperated with his hot and cold attitude.

Jamieson took a steadying breath and looked over at me with a pained expression. “I want you, Jenna.”

“Jamieson—” I started but was immediately cut off.

“I know you don’t understand because I have made such a mess of everything but I’m still a man, Jenna. Can’t you see that it is hard for me to have you so close but not be able to have you the way I want? It’s torture for me.”

“I…I didn’t realize I guess. I’m sorry,” I said breathlessly at his bold confession.

“It is not your fault, it’s mine,” he protested, sounding defeated.

“Maybe it is best that I just go to my sister’s,” I tried to offer him some relief.

“No. I want you to stay with me. It’s my issue to work out and I promise you I will.” He gave me a half smile of reassurance.

“Okay.” I didn’t really know what else to say, I was more than a little confused by his outburst. I needed time to think about it.

Before he dropped me off at the farm he asked me when I would need a ride home. I told him I would just have my sister or Lukas drive me but he insisted on coming back for me in the afternoon. I was pretty sure he had to work then but I didn’t want to have another argument with him so I just let it go.

“Good Jens, now when you come around this next set of oxers I want you to really urge him forward. Make him climb,” Jacks relayed to me from the middle of the massive outdoor arena.

I was high atop a young dark bay gelding named Harold. I was rusty but it wasn’t completely tragic. I was slowly regaining my senses and balance.

I steered the tall gelding down the long line of fences and we effortlessly cleared them all. I leaned forward patting his neck, slowing him to a walk.

“Nice work. You get along well with him,” she said smiling up at me.

“Thanks. I think I had forgotten how much fun that is.” I told her and unsnapped my helmet.

“You made it look fun,” Jacks smiled at me, holding her growing belly.

I dismounted and led Harold toward the exit. Jacks walked slowly beside me.

“I can’t believe you’re going to have another one soon.” I said pointing to her protruding stomach.

“I know,” she said wide-eyed.

“Well you do make a good broodmare.” I joked.

“Thanks a lot!” She playfully pushed my shoulder as we exited the arena.

Jacks and I both were startled by a car door. I hadn’t noticed anyone pull in while I was riding, I had been so focused.

“Oh look it’s your husband,” Jacks teased.

I just gave her a “you’re not funny look.”

Jamieson walked toward us looking so sexy it hurt to even look directly at him. He was completely out of place in the barn with his trim navy suit on.

“Jacqueline.” he greeted my sister.

“Jamieson,” my sister returned with a hint of snark to her voice. She continued on into the barn and left me on my own to deal with my husband.

“You ready to go?” he asked as he pet Harold’s nose.

“Yes I just need to put him away real quick. I will just be a minute if you want to wait in the truck.” I suggested.

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Jenna?” he asked quickly.

“No, it’s just you’re not really in barn attire,” I told him plainly.

“Clothes can be easily cleaned,” he said before we started walking into the barn.

I put Harold in the cross-ties and began unsaddling him. Jamieson stood close by watching me.

“Here, Jenna let me.” Grayson, Jacks’ new assistant offered from behind me.

“Oh you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s no problem.” He flashed me his bright white smile that complimented his porcelain skin and dirty brown hair.

I stepped aside and let Grayson untack Harold. I patted the big gelding and told him what a good boy he was today.

“That was some impressive riding out there,” Grayson complimented me.

“Thanks, but I think it was mostly all him. I was just a passenger,” I told him sheepishly.

“I doubt that,” Grayson said before disappearing to the tack room with the saddle he had pulled off Harold.

Jamieson cleared his throat reminding me that he was standing right behind me and was likely ready to leave.

“See you tomorrow guys,” I shouted down the barn aisle and turned to follow Jamieson toward his truck.

Jamieson opened the door for me and I climbed up inside the cab. When we pulled out onto the main highway he finally spoke to me.

“You looked like you really enjoyed yourself today.”

“Yeah, I forgot how much I enjoy spending time at the barn riding with my sister.”

“Why did you give it up?” I could tell he was genuinely curious.

“I don’t know. I went off to college and started pursing other things I guess.”

“Why didn’t you start riding again once you moved back to Alabama though?” he continued to press the issue but I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell him.

“I was just too busy,” I offered, hoping he would buy it.

“I don’t think you would have been too busy to do something you clearly love that much.” he looked at me giving me a knowing glare.

“I just had other things I had to focus on,” I tried again.

“He didn’t like it, did he?” Jamieson had always been able to see through me so clearly.

I didn’t respond, instead I just looked forward down the long stretch of highway counting down the minutes until I could get out of the truck.

“Asshole,” Jamieson muttered under his breath.

I sucked in a breath and then let it out. “He said it was a silly hobby. He thought it was a waste of time and money. I don’t really know why I allowed him to keep me from it. Looking at it now I am ashamed at how I compromised myself.”

“I couldn’t imagine keeping you from something you love. You lit up today. I haven’t seen you that way in long time Jenna. It was nice.”

“Thanks.” I didn’t really know what to say to that but Jamieson was right. If you really love someone you don’t keep them from what truly makes them happy. It was just another glaringly obvious sign that Cain never did love me.

After we arrived home, I ate dinner and retreated to my bedroom to shower; I was filthy from the barn. When I stepped out of the shower I heard a light knock on my door. Still draped in my towel I cracked the door open. Jamieson’s heated eyes met mine and I shuddered under his stare.

“Careful Jenna, my resolve is not that strong.” he warned in dark tone.

“I…umm…what did you need?” I was shaken seeing the deep hunger in his eyes.

“What time will you need a ride to the farm tomorrow?” he asked simply.

“Oh I usually go mid-morning but I can see if someone else can take me.”

“I will be here to pick you up at ten, does that work?”

“Yeah, sure.” I wasn’t certain why he was insisting on driving me, but I didn’t protest either. He could just offer to loan me one of his cars but there was no way I was going to ask, so I just went along with it.

“I will see you in the morning. Sleep well, Jenna.” he said before turning to walk down the hallway toward his room.

I stood as still as a statute, still confused at what just happened. I watched him open both doors to his palatial room and turn to close them, but before he did he glanced up at me flashing a very sexy grin letting me know that our sexual tension was far from over. What in the hell had I gotten myself into now? And how in the hell was I going to sleep after that?