Текст книги "Dirty English"

Автор книги: Ilsa Madden-Mills

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

BY THE END of the first week of school I was back in the routine of going to class, working at the bookstore, and studying like crazy. I was off to a good start except I couldn’t stop thinking about Colby being at Whitman. I looked for him everywhere now. In the grocery. In the parking lot. Outside my door?

And then there was Karl and my mom. I’d tried to call and text her several times, but she was ignoring me, and I got it. She was angry because I’d gotten upset with her and Karl at the diner. She wanted to use my story to get rich, and no way was I down with that.

By Sunday night, chocolate ice cream and relaxing were the only two things on my mind when I got home from work.

And …

I readily admitted to myself I was jonesing for some English accents, so I kicked my shoes to the floor and snuggled into Granny’s couch for season two of Downton Abbey.

After eating a giant bowl of Ben & Jerry’s and indulging in two hours of television, I stepped out my balcony door and stood there taking in the soft rain that had begun to fall. I was getting wet, but I didn’t care.

Dressed in nothing but gym shorts, Declan stepped out onto his balcony. It seemed neither of us minded the weather. Like me, was he thinking of the last time it rained?

He flexed his hands, loosening the tape around them, his eyes out in the distance as if his thoughts were far away. He hadn’t noticed me, and I eased further back into the shadows, letting my gaze roam over his bare chest, hard biceps, and trim waist.

Why did one guy have to look so damn good?

Did he ever wear a shirt?

I sucked in a sharp breath as I noticed the bruises on his body, one on his shoulder, another on his ribs.

“I know you’re there,” he said.

Dammit, there was no escaping him.

He bent over against the railing, the muscles in his back rippling, eyes still on the horizon.

And I said nothing, anger pricking at me and I didn’t even know why.

But I did … we’d spent the night together—albeit platonically—and he’d had a week to knock on my door, and he hadn’t. He’d sat behind me in class all week but had mostly ignored me, sending eye-daggers my way when I joked around with Dax.

I didn’t understand him.

And yet I did.

Both of us were afraid of getting too close.

He sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair. “I don’t blame you for being quiet. I guess you’re a wise girl to keep your distance.” He grunted. “Which is ironic because you’re the dangerous one, Elizabeth.”

Me? He was the one with the potential to break me into a million pieces.

He turned to face me, his eyes zeroing in on mine, and I realized I’d walked to the edge of my balcony to be closer to him. He took in my damp nightshirt and bare feet.

My nipples pressed against the material as if they too wanted to be near him.

“Dangerous? Please. You’re the one sporting new bruises,” I said.

He shot me a grin. “I like it when you get feisty.”

“I know.” My words were quiet, remembering the night in his apartment.

His gaze brushed over my breasts like a physical touch, desire plainly written on his face.

I swallowed, feeling the invisible wires that pulled me toward him. I threw caution to the wind.

“We slept together without having sex. Do you do that often?”

His eyes smoldered like molten steel. “Never.”

God, I wanted him. Desperately.

I clenched my fists. “Goodnight, Declan.”

“Goodnight, Elizabeth.”

“THE RESULTS ARE in, and I’m pleased to announce the prom king and queen are Colby Scott and Elizabeth Bennett,” Mr. Brown, Oakmont’s headmaster, announced from the gymnasium stage.

Elation washed over me in waves.

At first I couldn’t believe we’d won, but when Colby took my hand to tug me toward the stage, reality set in. This was it.

Everything I’d ever wanted was right in front of me.

“Come on. They’re waiting to crown us, babe.” Colby’s white teeth flashed.

I let him guide me toward the stage, my pink dress sparkling under the mirrored lights as we made our way across the basketball court, passed balloon sculptures and a backdrop featuring a cityscape of Paris. We glided up the steps and toward the center of the stage. Hands from the audience reached out to congratulate us.

Something was off …

A crawling sensation scratched at my brain, pricking at me.

I yanked my hand out of his, but he snatched it back and jerked me flush against his gray suit. “Too late, Elizabeth. This is what you wanted. Don’t deny it.” He kissed me roughly, his hands splayed out across my breasts.

I fumbled and pushed.

Slow motion. I couldn’t move.

Wait. Had I taken something? Was I drunk? What was wrong with me?

A spotlight hit us. I saw Blake and Shelley. I saw my mother and Karl and Senator Scott, their lips curled in disgust.

Then we were in the hotel.

I was on the bed with him between my legs. Jamming into me.

No, no, no …

The terror wouldn’t end.

I fought.

Stop, stop, stop.

“Elizabeth, wake up!” Firm hands shook my shoulders.

No!

I came awake screaming.

I scrambled up to the headboard. My eyes bounced around the room.

My bed. My dresser. My apartment. Declan. Thank God.

I sucked in a shuddering breath. My hands wiped my eyes, feeling wetness.

“What happened?” I croaked as I scrubbed my face, trying to clear it.

He sat on the edge of my bed, and even in the dim light I could see his normally tanned face was white. “I heard you screaming from my room and came in through the balcony after I couldn’t tear down your front door. Thank God your balcony door was open. You were all twisted up in the sheets …” He stopped talking, a muscle working in his jaw.

I moved closer to his warmth and leaned my head against his shoulder. Inhaled. “You must think I’m a lunatic.”

He lifted a hand to cup my head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I bit my lip at his kindness and snuggled into his arms more fully. “No. It—it’s nothing you want to know about. I just need some water.”

“Okay, I’ll get you some.” He left and went into the kitchen, where I heard him milling around and opening cabinets until he found a glass and filled it. He came back into the bedroom and handed it to me.

Feeling nervous and just plain old shy, I scrambled to find conversation. “Did you—uh—actually jump to my balcony from yours? Wasn’t that kind of dangerous?”

“Yes,” he said softly. “But your front door was locked. Maybe you should give me a key.”

Key? I laughed to hide my surprise. “You’re just a regular Superman, aren’t you?”

He shrugged, his expression giving me nothing.

I nodded.

Okay. Things were strained between us.

Obviously he was ready to go. I mean, I’d woken him up and he had classes tomorrow.

Silence ticked between us.

I kept it simple. “Thank you for coming over.”

He rubbed his jaw. “If you’re good then I should probably go—I guess?”

“I guess.”

Neither of us moved. “You don’t need anything else?” he asked.

I needed him. My body craved him. I was sick of seeing him for brief moments each day. I wanted more.

“No.”

“Mind if I use the front door?”

I smiled. “Sure.” We walked to the front door together, and he surprised me by reaching out and grabbing my hand on the way. His warm fingers stroked the tangled scars on my wrists.

He studied them. Looked back at me. “What happened?”

I swallowed. “I fell in love with the wrong guy.”

I waited for him to question me or get angry at my stupidity, but I shouldn’t have been surprised when he didn’t. This was Declan, and he wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met.

“I noticed them the night I showed you how to punch, but I didn’t say anything. I’m sorry for your pain,” he said, gazing down at the pink skin. “Your scars are beautiful. It means you survived. It means you’re here with me.” He kissed my wrist, light as a feather—and changed everything about us. “It’s my favorite part of you,” he said.

Big moments happen with the smallest of actions, and sometimes it’s not until later we connect the dots, but in that instant, I knew that somehow, someway Declan was going to own my heart. It terrified me and excited me all at the same time.

He brushed a finger down my cheek. “Elizabeth? Do you really want me to go? Because—because I don’t want to. It’s been a shit week and I’ve barely talked to you and—”

“I want you to stay,” I said softly.

Still holding hands, we went back to my darkened bedroom.

We got into bed together. Being careful of his bruises, I snuggled into his chest letting the warmth from his body seep into mine, banishing my nightmare. Wrapped up in a gorgeous body and tattoos, he was a heady sleeping aid. I wanted to yank my gown over my head, climb on top of him, and take him inside me. I wanted to ride him until all the bad memories were gone—but I didn’t. I settled for keeping my clothes on and pressing myself against his hot skin, pleasure flooding me at the way his hands roamed my back, brushing against the bottom of my shirt, his fingers massaging me.

His touch was sexual.

Yet it wasn’t. It was simply more, and I was terrified to put a name to it.

So I didn’t think about it at all.

I just went with it.

THE NEXT MORNING I woke up around five thirty, left Elizabeth in bed, and headed to the gym before class. I’d been going early so I could catch the contractors who were working on the updates.

After the gym, I left for class and met Dax at our usual spot outside the humanities building. We hadn’t seen each other much in the past few days, mostly because I was caught up in the gym and my classes while he was partying at the frat house. At least we had one class together, although it was hard to watch him sit next to Elizabeth each day and flirt with her.

“What do you think of Elizabeth?” he asked as we walked up the stairs to the third floor and came out onto the hallway.

He’d brought her up when I’d been thinking about her? “My Elizabeth?”

He paused mid-stride and flicked his eyes at me. “Yours? You shagged her?”

“No.”

“I’m sensing a but here.”

“Don’t be a knobhead.” I resisted the urge to shove him up against the wall.

Jealous of my own brother. Sad.

He stiffened. “What’s your deal? I’m just making conversation about a girl in class.” His eyes searched mine. “And let’s just say for argument’s sake that I wanted to shag her—would you be okay with it?”

I shrugged. “You’re your own person. Do whatever the bloody hell you want.”

He rubbed his jaw, studying me with narrowed eyes. “You seem a bit off. You okay?”

Just then Nadia and Donatello came down the hall toward us, effectively ending our convo. I didn’t miss that Nadia’s eyes lingered on me, a pleading look in them. I ignored her for the most part, but judging from her tight face and Donatello’s sullen expression, there was trouble in paradise.

They stopped in front of us, mostly because the line of bodies moving had come to a standstill. It was unavoidable we’d bump into each other. This was a small uni. I hadn’t talked to her since the frat party, and although she hadn’t been on my mind, her family had.

“How’s your mum?” I asked, as Ninja Turtle wandered off to talk to some of the tennis lads who were standing near a classroom door.

She got misty-eyed. “She started chemo, and it goes for twelve weeks. I—I’m headed home this weekend to see her.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry. Mum never took chemo. There wasn’t time or any reason to.”

She cleared her throat and changed gears. “On the other hand, my sorority is having our annual back to school mixer next week. You’re invited.”

“We’re over, Nadia. I won’t be coming.”

Dax raised his eyebrows and bounced his eyes between us, and then over to Donatello.

“I know.” Her hand caressed my arm and then dropped. “But I still care about you, Declan. Just think about it.”

She waved bye and wandered back to her boyfriend.

Dax snorted. “You’re way too easy on her. Everyone here is wondering why you haven’t kicked Donatello’s arse, too.”

I shrugged. “Some things are worth it and some aren’t.”

We walked into the auditorium for Lit class. Wearing a skimpy top and a miniskirt, Lorna waved at me, pointing at the same seat where I’d been sitting next to her since class started a week ago.

Dax chuckled. “Looks like someone wants to be the next girl Dirty English chooses.”

But my eyes went to Elizabeth. She sat in front of Lorna, her head bent low as she flipped through the pages of her textbook. She hadn’t even noticed I was here.

Dax left me to sit next to Elizabeth. He plopped down next to her, and they immediately began talking. Of course, Dax did most of the talking while she listened.

Envy ate at me. I wanted to be in his seat.

Dr. Feldman took to the podium, and I tried to focus on the lesson.

Usually, I was riveted, but today I barely listened.

My eyes were never off Dax and Elizabeth.

“I WISH YOU were rich like me. It’s not fair you have to work all the time. And if you’re not working, you’re studying. It’s a shame you’re missing out on the true college experience,” Shelley complained as I unpacked new textbooks that had come in for the bookstore. She smiled. “But don’t you love me for coming to keep you company?”

I rolled my eyes at her. “Whitman isn’t cheap, and we can’t all have daddies that pay our Amex card every month.”

She made a moue with her lips. “We could probably figure out a way for him to pay your bills too. He’d never know probably.”

I shook my head. “I pay my own way. Always have. I’m here for a top notch education …”

“So you never have to depend on a loser like your poor mom does … I know, I know. You say it all the dang time. Trust me, you are never going to end up with some car salesman from Petal who wears Hawaiian shirts. But if you want to meet a nice, rich guy, then you need to get out more.”

“Working makes me feel good about myself. You should try it.”

She sent me a disbelieving glare. “I just buy shoes to feel good—or jewelry. Speaking of, have you seen the new line of James Avery necklaces? God, totally gorgeous with these little silver charms everywhere. And you could totally do it, Elizabeth. Your drawings are much better than half the stuff I see.”

“I—I did draw something recently. A dragonfly.”

Her eyes flared. “Holy hell, that’s huge. Why didn’t you tell me? What are you going to do with it? Put it on a bracelet? Necklace? Make me one … please?”

She didn’t understand why I’d stopped making jewelry, not really, but her encouragement meant something to me. No one else had ever pushed me but Granny, and she was gone. “Thank you for saying that.”

She grinned, refocusing. “So, let’s talk about your sexy new neighbor. You had a nightmare and the English dreamboat came over and saved you from the bogeyman?”

I groaned. I never should have told her. “You can drop the baby-girl voice.”

“But it’s so fun. I can’t believe you didn’t do the deed with him. Don’t you want to see if he’s like Hugh Grant in Notting Hill? Oh, or Jude Law? Wait, how about Charlie Hunnam? Oh yeah, I’d have his babies. Well, all their babies.” She waggled her eyebrows.

“My life is not a movie, Shelley.”

She munched on a bag of chips she’d snagged from the café. “I beg to differ. You have to admit your life is fairly dramatic. Heck, you could probably sell the rights to it and make millions. Chi-ching!”

Her words sobered me, reminding me of my mom and Karl and their scheme. I pushed the worry away.

“Does everything he says sound hot? Like if he called you a bitch, you’d be like oh, baby, say it again?”

I cracked a grin. “Maybe.”

“Oh my God, what if the twins are related to the Queen?” She pointed a finger at me, her face animated. “You could be English royalty. Heck, your name is already Elizabeth—wasn’t she a queen or something? Think about it … you in a Lady Di–type wedding dress. You already love all that Shakespeare stuff, and this would just be the icing on the cake.” She started quoting famous Shakespearean lines but ended up mixing them together, tossing Romeo and Juliet in with Macbeth.

A bit later, after she’d finished, I took a deep breath. “Listen, I don’t want you to freak out, but you may see Colby on campus this semester. Apparently, he’s a student here now.”

She dropped her bag of chips, eyes big as saucers. “What the hell? Are you okay? How do you know? Why are you not freaking out? Why—”

“I’m fine.” I totally wasn’t.

“He—he came to see me, but he left when Declan ran him off. So, if I act odd or whatever, it’s because I’m paranoid I’m going to see him or he’s going to tell people about what happened.” My voice trembled.

She exhaled loudly but her voice came out hushed. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Elizabeth, absolutely nothing. But you need to call the cops if he shows up again. Please say you will.”

I nodded. But would I?

“Since your parents know his family, will you ask them if they’d heard anything about why he’s transferred here? See if you can figure out what’s going on with him.”

She nodded, a look of worry on her face.

I pushed out a grin. “Come on, don’t get glum on me. Make me laugh.”

“You doing okay unpacking those boxes?” a male voice called from around the corner. Rick ambled into view. Tall with sandy blond hair and a skinny build, he’d recently graduated from Whitman and was the store manager here while he worked on his graduate degree.

He stood next to me and pilfered through some of the titles in the box. “Some of these boxes are heavy and need to go upstairs to the non-fiction section. Let me know if you need some help getting them up the stairs.” He smiled and adjusted his glasses.

I smiled back. “Okay.”

We had an elevator, but I didn’t say anything. He always offered to help me, and I thought it sweet.

I could feel Shelley’s eyes on us, watching. Plotting.

“She needs help a lot, Rick. She needs a big old—oh, never mind.” She grinned maniacally.

I shot her a look. This was not what I meant by make me laugh.

Her eyes said what she’d said to me many times, That is some good man-meat right there. What are you waiting on, chica? Scaredy-cat. Here, pussyyyyyyy.

I huffed just as the café door opened and Blake walked through to the bookstore.

“What’s going on?” he asked us.

“Nothing,” snorted Shelley. “This bookstore needs to magically turn into a night club or a frat house.”

“Geez, no one’s keeping you here with me,” I replied. “I’m not bored at all. I’m working to pay my bills.”

She shrugged and sipped on her soda. “This year is just so blasé so far.”

“Don’t you have homework?” How did the girl not get kicked out of school?

“All done.” She tapped her head. “I might look like a dumb co-ed, but this brain is smarter than you think.”

“Let’s all do something,” Blake said. “Movie maybe? I hear the new Marvel movie is showing at the Malco.” He sent me a sheepish grin. “I know Elizabeth loves Thor, right?”

“Wow, Elizabeth? Is that so?” Shelley asked in a snarky voice.

I shrugged. “Sure, what’s not to like? There are big muscles and blond hair and tattoos and a hammer …”

“Yeah, she likes big hammers,” Shelley deadpanned.

“That’s enough,” I said.

“I was kidding.” She sent me a sly look.

Blake and Rick chuckled, and even though I was the butt of the joke, it made me glad to see Blake smile. I didn’t want things to be weird between us. I’d been processing his declaration of love, but I still didn’t know what I wanted to do about it.

The chime on the overhead door went off as Dax and Declan both walked in the café entrance.

Shelley came to attention. “The British are coming, the British are coming.”

“Stop it,” I hissed.

Blake’s face had grown still at our conversation, his body tense. “I don’t know what all the girls see in those two—”

“—who are hotter than my hair straightener,” Shelley finished.

A girl in the café waylaid Dax, but Declan strode our way wearing low-slung jeans, a Whitman shirt, and a pair of leather flip-flops.

I sighed, taking in the dark hair that curled around his ears and nape, the glossy sheen catching the lights. His steely-gray eyes seemed to zero in right on me from clear across the store, and I felt myself prepping my body for the current that would inevitably shoot through me.

He came closer and it seemed as if every eye in the place followed him.

Why couldn’t I just write him off like I had all the others?

“Yep, hotter than a Times Square Rolex,” I murmured to myself.

He came to a stop in front of the counter. “Hey. You good today?”

I squirmed at the attention. He meant the nightmare. It had been several days since our sleepover and he’d been checking in with me each morning in Lit class, keeping it casual but always asking if I was okay.

“Yeah. And you?”

He nodded.

Dax came crashing into us, the girl he’d been talking to tagging along behind him. “What’s going on? Anybody want to come to the house and hang out?” He came over and tossed an arm around me. “Hey, love, when do you get off work?”

Blake answered. “We’re going to the movies later. Sorry.”

I didn’t recall agreeing to a movie. Seems my friends had decided what my plans were for the evening when really I needed to get home and study.

“Sounds kinda boring, but I’m in,” Dax said with a clap of his hands. He left me to toss an arm around the random girl. “You too?”

She blushed.

“Actually, Elizabeth and I already have plans tonight. I was just coming by to confirm,” Declan inserted smoothly.

All eyes turned to me and then bounced back to Declan.

“Plans?” Shelley squeaked. “You didn’t tell moi?”

“But, the movie …” Blake’s voice trailed off.

Dax’s eyes widened. “Oh, I didn’t see that coming.”

Rick moved to the cash register to check someone out but not before looking at me with questioning eyebrows.

Seemed like everyone had a damn opinion on the matter.

“You still coming?” Declan said, a slight edge to his voice as he turned to look at me.

A hush had settled over the group.

I set down the book I’d been holding. Swallowed.

Was this a real date-date? One without sex at the end or one with sex at the end? God, I didn’t know because I hadn’t had a real date since Colby.

Or had he figured out I didn’t want to go anywhere at all and was just trying to rescue me from my well-meaning friends?

“Yes, of course,” I said. “Where are we going?”

He grinned, a soft boyishness settling on his face. “It’s a surprise.”

Shelley giggled, abruptly clamming up when I glared at her.

Blake snapped up and took off for the café. Dammit. I watched him go with a heavy sigh and then turned back to Declan.

“I don’t get off for another hour.”

He looked at the books scattered around me. “I can help you. What needs to be done?”

“Oh, thank you, but only employees can shelve. Rick’s rule. I appreciate it though. Are you sure you don’t mind waiting?”

“Good things are worth waiting on.”

I smiled. Breathless.

He sent me a grin. “Nice shirt, by the way.” He raked his eyes over me, lingering on the T-shirt he’d given me a few nights ago. Made of thin white cotton, it featured the Front Street Gym logo, which was a black circle with two fists meeting and the gym name written around the circle. On the back of the shirt in Old English font was written Property of Dirty English. I’d been surprised as hell when he’d knocked on my door and handed it to me, saying he’d designed it and wanted my opinion before ordering in bulk for his gym’s grand opening. It fit tight across my chest. He lifted his eyes up to mine.

“Thanks. Some cocky guy gave it to me.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “He must be a nice bloke to give you a free T-shirt.”

“Very. Although I think he gave me a size too small. On purpose.”

His eyes landed on my breasts and he smiled before focusing back on my face. “Perhaps he never thought you’d wear it in public. Is he handsome?”

“He thinks so.” My face felt like it might split in half I was grinning so big. What was it about him that had me feeling so giddy?

Shelley linked an arm through Dax’s. “Well, I still want you to come along with us to the movies.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “Indeed. You’re far too hot to say no to. Tell me, do you dig threesomes?”

She giggled and tapped his arm. “Behave.”

They got out their phones to finalize movie times, and I started in with the duties I did at the end of my shift. Half an hour later, I’d gotten the new books shelved and had broken down boxes and carried them to the back storage room. I piled them up in a corner next to the trash and then went to the broom closet. I opened it and pulled out the wide, heavy-duty dust mop.

When I turned around Blake was standing there.

“Oh! You scared me!” I laughed, clutching my chest. “What are you doing back here?” I looked past his shoulder. I didn’t think Rick would mind that he was in a restricted area, but you could never tell.

He scrubbed a hand through his auburn hair roughly, making the ends stand up. “I can’t believe you have a date with him after what I told you.”

“Blake—”

“Since when does he get to march in here and act like he owns you?” He paced around, his movements swift and sharp, as if he were holding in banked anger.

I stiffened. “You’re the one acting possessive. He’s a good guy. In fact, you outright lied about him at the party. Care to explain that?”

His eyes widened. “I was desperate. I don’t want you with him, okay? It’s just—I told you how I feel, and you haven’t said a word about it. You just keep going about your day, not wanting to accept that our relationship is changing. I can’t just be your friend anymore and see you screw around with other guys.”

I shook my head. “You’re my friend. I need you.” I only had two in the whole world.

He exhaled. “Just give us a chance. We’ll take it slow, I promise. No crazy stuff.” His hand reached out to touch my cheek, soft and easy as if I were a skittish animal he wanted to tame. “I won’t ever pressure you or push you to do anything you don’t want to do, I promise.”

And the thing was, there was a tiny bit of something in my heart for him. A spark of whatever we’d had in prep school still lingering. But being with Blake meant commitment.

I—I just couldn’t do it.

“Everything okay back here?” Rick’s voice cut through the tension. “You need some help, Elizabeth?”

I cleared my throat and stepped back around Blake. “No, it’s good. Coming out to mop soon.”

Blake reached out to clasp my hand. “Wait, Elizabeth. I’m not the only one with feelings here. Talk to me.”

I sighed, changing gears. Anything to get away from this topic. “Look, I have a lot on my mind right now. There’s something I haven’t told you. Colby—he came to see me the night before the semester started. He—he’s enrolled here now. I haven’t seen him since, but I’m going to. I just know it. He’s not going away.” I heard the fear in my voice and cringed.

He gathered me in his arms. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. What can I do to help?”

I leaned my head on his shoulder. “There’s nothing to be done. It’s something I’m going to have to deal with, and I really need you here beside me. I can’t do it without you.”

He let out a long breath and kissed my forehead. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”