Текст книги "Run"

Автор книги: Holly Hood

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

JULY 4

TH

“COME ON, WE ONLY HAVE an hour,” Mason said, pacing the hotel room.

I lifted my head out from underneath the cover. It had been two days since I’d gotten out of bed. Life didn’t feel worth living at the moment, so I saw no reason to get out of bed.

I always knew this would happen sooner or later. All I was doing was waiting…waiting for the axe to fall…waiting to be thrown into jail. I’d never felt so helpless or so discouraged. I had no answers and I didn’t know where to go to get them. The anxiety and paranoia had taken over my life, and I was facing an unknown fate.

Mason clapped his hands and ripped the covers off me. He wasn’t willing to deal with my depression any longer. Every time I felt the walls closing in on me, I fell into a dark despair, never sure if I’d come back up again. Mason chose to ignore it.

“Mason, I’m in no mood to see fireworks,” I said, blowing my hair from my eyes.

He crawled into bed and curled up next to me. “Come on, Kendall. There’ll be a ton of people. We’ll just be another random face in the crowd. And look,” he said, jumping up and pulling sunglasses and hats off the dresser, “we’ll be incognito.”

“I don’t even like fireworks. You know this. I just want to sleep. Just stop it already,” I said, groaning. I dropped my head back down on the pillow.

“Fine, lay here in your misery and become one of them,” he yelled at me. His fists were balled up at his side like he was ready to hit something.

I ignored his show of aggression. “What, exactly, is one of them?”

Mason spun on his heels, throwing his hands in the air. He was so angry. “Those two women over there think they’ve got it all figured out and they’re ruining our lives.” He sat down on the bed. “They never find any enjoyment in life.”

“Well, of course not, it’s Payton and Wanda. They don’t enjoy anything,” I said. I sat up and pulled the covers off me.

“They’re going nowhere. They have no idea what they want. It’s an endless chase in pursuit of what? Wanda says it’s California. My mom wants to go overseas. It’s never happened, and it ain’t going to,” he said, tapping me on the leg.

“Don’t you see that, Kendall? They don’t care because they have nothing to lose. If I have something to live for, I’ll make it,” he said.

I sighed. Mason had an uncanny way of spinning crap into golden rays of sunshine. He kept going on about how much fun we’d have and how much we needed this.

“I have to shower. So give me ten minutes,” I told him as he carried on.

“Let’s say fifteen,” he said, grabbing my wrist. He backed me into the bathroom, kissing me.

“Mason…” I said nothing further.

He pulled away and studied my face, waiting for my protest.

I sighed in compliance as I pulled his shirt over his curly mop of disheveled hair.

“You really need a haircut.”

“Well, you see, I haven’t had time to do that with all the robberies and all.” He smiled, coming in for another kiss.

I ran my hands through his hair, pulling it away from his beautiful eyes. I tried to imagine what he’d look like with short hair.

“I guess I couldn’t see you any other way,” I said softly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I accept you with your wild Mexican fro,” I said, laughing.

“My father was Puerto Rican. And I get most of my looks from my mother.” He pushed at me playfully.

I wriggled out of my clothes. Reality came rushing back in place of our moment or two of frivolity. Mason sensed it and opened the shower door for me.

“I’ll always be here for you,” he said, touching my shoulder.

“I know.”

“You’re the one good thing in the midst of this chaos,” he said, running his fingers through my hair. The water crashed down on my head. He shut the shower door, enclosing us in the steam.

“You keep telling me that,” I said, closing my eyes.

“Why can’t you just believe it?” he asked. I opened my eyes, water trailing down my face. Mason wiped it away. I could see how much it pained him to see me unhappy.

“I don’t know what to believe,” I sighed. “I just don’t know how.”

After our shower we hurried downtown to see the fireworks. Luckily, we weren’t far from them. I tugged my hat lower on my head, my ponytail hitting the back of my neck.

Mason pulled me through the thick crowd of people. He was right, there were a ton of people. I held tight to his hand, my feet hesitant.

The crowd was so loud I couldn’t have said anything to him and be heard if I’d wanted to. The aroma of different foods and beer filled my senses. Hoots and hollers of random people enjoying the celebration filled my ears.

We settled in the middle of a large park where the fireworks display would be. Groups of people, both large and small, were everywhere. When we stopped walking, Mason threw an arm around me. I could tell it meant a lot to him that I’d agreed to come out with him.

He smiled at me. “Happy Fourth of July,” he said. I just grinned back at him. It didn’t really feel like a holiday to me.

He stroked the back of my hand as we stared at the sky, waiting for the magic to begin. Both young and old alike were gathered and waiting in anticipation of the magic the fireworks would bring. If only magic were real…

I leaned closer to Mason as more people gathered all around us. It was almost show time and the sky was dark except for the streetlights lining the edge of the park.

“Hey, look over there,” Mason said.

He’d spotted a small hill off in the distance with hardly any people there. The crackling sound of the fireworks was closer than I’d expected. We hurried over just in time to see the fireworks. Mason sat on the ground and I followed, sitting next to him. The lights bounced off my skin and the boom of the display filled my ears.

“Hey, don’t I know you?” someone asked from behind us. We turned around at the same time to see the sweet, red-haired waitress we’d met at the diner, along with a couple of her friends. Her face transformed into a pleasant smile as they got closer. I waved, trying to be friendly. Mason sat up, looking the three of them over. The guy in the group extended his hand to Mason.

The guy was covered in tattoos from his neck to his wrist. His lip was pierced and he sported a mohawk.

“This is Trent and Star.” She introduced the two of them.

Star smiled and gave a wave. Her hair was long and black, her skin honey brown. She had chocolate brown eyes and wore long dreadlocks that draped down her back, held in place with a simple red band.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Mason asked, offering them a spot next to us.

“I’m Renee,” Renee said jokingly. She took a seat next to Mason, along with Trent and Star. “I love the Fourth. It’s great to be out for all the festivities.”

Mason and I listened as she went on and on about the day, how much it meant to her, and why it was just so amazing. Knowing she meant no harm, I held back the urge to roll my eyes.

“I try to convince Kendall to think of it the same way, but she isn’t one for the holidays,” Mason told them.

Star giggled and Trent pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He packed them with his palm as he listened to the conversation.

“I see you got away from your aunt for the night. That’s got to be freeing,” Renee said, nudging me in the side. There was a secret smile that only I understood.

“Yeah, my aunt doesn’t care for the holidays either,” I told her.

We laid in the grass smoking cigarettes and talking like kids our age do–about music, sports, or celebrity crushes. I’d never hung out with people my age other than Mason. I didn’t know I had an opinion on things like pop culture. I felt accepted and normal. Gloom and doom had taken a backseat at the moment to the lighthearted talk, back-and-forth banter, and feeling of kinship. I was lost in my thoughts when Mason pulled me from the ground to inform me everyone wanted to go back to Renee’s apartment downtown.

We walked the street at a snail’s pace stuck behind a massive crowd of people eager to get home. Mason kept a hand securely around my waist.

We listened to Renee go on and on about life. She was a girl with a lot on her mind—maybe too much. She thought way too much about the simplest things. Things that were black-and-white to me were multi-dimensional and nearly every color of the rainbow to her.

I tugged on Mason’s sleeve.

“What’s up?” he asked. We had stopped outside Renee’s apartment. I was having second thoughts about going inside.

“I have to admit, I really don’t know if I want to hang out with everyone,” I said quietly. I shrugged and looked down at my shoes. Maybe it was nothing more than me feeling out of place—I never felt like I fit in anywhere.

“Kendall, come on.” Mason lifted my chin, his eyes searching mine, concerned with my apprehension. He was always so confident. “Let’s have some fun. How often do we get to do that?” He kissed my cheek.

I crossed my arms and agreed to go along with him. I didn’t want to be the party pooper. I followed everyone inside.

The apartment was large and too extravagant for a waitress’s salary.

Renee tossed her purse on the island countertop in the kitchen. She grabbed several cans of beer from the refrigerator, setting them down one by one on the counter with a loud bang.

She drew the blinds, revealing a huge window overlooking the streets of the little Virginia town. She opened the beer in her hand and in one swift movement kicked off her black heels.

I stared out the window at the nightlife. I loved how the lights glistened like tiny diamonds against the black sky.

“Here, this one is for you,” Renee said, handing me a beer. She forced it into my hand before I could object and skipped off to the kitchen.

Mason shot me a sympathetic look. He was already caught up in drinking with Trent, Renee’s sidekick.

Star plucked away at the strings of an old guitar covered in stickers—peeling away with age—of old seventies rock bands.

“Come on, Kendall, my beautiful flower. Come sit with us,” Renee coaxed from the large red sectional.

I took a seat and concentrated to settle my nerves. Mason sat down beside me and rested his hand in my lap for comfort. He knew this was hard for me.

Renee took another sip of her beer. She studied the room, looking lost in a strange reverie. “What time do you think he’ll be back?” she asked Trent.

Trent jumped up as the door opened. Star continued to pluck at the chords of her guitar, never fully playing a song. Renee jumped to her feet, happy to see the guy who just arrived and came into the living room.

Mason and I immediately checked him out. He fidgeted with the pocket of his brown dickeys, shuffling across the floor in his skater shoes. His head was shaved and he was covered in tattoos.

“Guys, this is Shifty,” Renee said, wrapping an arm around him. He gave a small nod in our direction and his blues eyes lingered on me. He was clearly stoned—obviously into partying. Shifty didn’t sit well with me. I’d met enough of Aunt Wanda’s friends to know someone was bad news when I saw them. I’d gotten pretty good at reading people. These were the kind of people who would pretend to be your friends, but would stab you in the back when something better came along. This was especially true where addictions were concerned.

And his name—Shifty—was probably a nickname earned for bad character.

Once Shifty got there, the night seemed to come alive. Everyone gathered around Renee’s coffee table where all eyes were glued on Shifty.

He pulled a bag from his shorts and tossed it on the table. Renee squealed with delight, clapping her hands together.

“Either of you ever do K?” Shifty asked, directing the question at Mason. Mason dropped his elbows on the coffee table and leaned forward to get a better look at the drugs.

“My cousin, back in Jersey, calls it Ket,” Mason said with a crooked grin.

He cut a fine line on the table with a credit card, shooting me a look as if I had something equally charming to add to the conversation. I pursed my lips.

“I’ve had my fair share of run-ins,” Mason told him.

I wasn’t sure if he was trying to fit in or brag. I also knew he didn’t lie very often nor was he an angel.

Trent and Star waited patiently. I hadn’t pegged Star as a drug user. She gathered her hair in her hands and piled it on top of her head in a messy bun. She was ready, eager anticipation written all over her face.

“Well, since you’re the guest,” Shifty said, and motioned for Mason to go first.

Renee handed Mason a rolled bill. Mason leaned forward and I closed my eyes at the sound of him snorting that junk.

I looked at Renee. She seemed happy that her new friend was willing to dabble in her recreational activities. Mason wiped at his nose and leaned back against the couch. Everyone looked at me now.

“Kendall, have you ever done K?” Shifty asked, searching my eyes for willingness.

Mason grabbed my arm and nudged me forward. He wanted me to do it—they all did.

“No. I’ve never tried the stuff,” I said. My cheeks heated with naïve embarrassment. I should’ve been proud of that, but there I sat feeling like a moron.

I took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen? My life felt like it was already as bad as it could get.

Shifty pulled a finger through the powder and offered it to Renee. She eagerly sucked and licked the powder from his finger. She smiled at me and offered me the same service—Shifty’s finger. I swallowed down in disgust, not exactly thrilled with the idea of sucking a drug off some strange guy’s finger. I pushed the revulsion to the back of my mind long enough to do the same thing Renee had done.

I sat back, a bitter taste invading my tongue. It wasn’t long before I began to feel more relaxed than ever before—like sailing away on a cloud of nothing. I leaned back against the sofa, savoring the tranquility while everyone around me seemed to be talking all at once.

Mason leaned against me, his body heavier than before. He rested his head on my shoulder. I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. I couldn’t tell if Renee’s laughter was getting louder or if it was in my head. I also didn’t understand why I was suddenly obsessed with the ceiling and seemed to see every little detail.

Shifty seemed to suddenly materialize in front of me. He smiled, watching me like I was some science experiment. I didn’t know if he was as close as he seemed, but I didn’t have the strength to swat him away.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, hoping I hadn’t said that as loud as it sounded.

“I’m watching you. Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked.

I nodded, enjoying the newfound awareness of my head as it moved up and down. “What about you?” I asked as I rested my head on the arm of the couch. I swatted at what I thought were bugs—or maybe it was lint.

I ran my hand across my forehead trying to ease the weird sensations from my head—like time stood still. Why had I been stupid enough to go along with this crap?

“I’m more of a quick guy,” he grinned. “I like the fast shit. Meth is my best friend most days.”

I closed my eyes. And suddenly someone was pulling me back into a sitting position. I opened my eyes looking for Mason. He was up and moving again. He looked at me with a confused expression. Everything was turning and spinning all around me and, once again, the darkness was upon me.

I could hear the beating of my heart like a tiny mad man was banging away on a drum. A crazed man just banged and banged and…

“Kendall,” Mason shouted, shaking me back to reality. He slapped my face. I pushed him away from me and sat up. Shifty sat across from us. Even he looked worried.

Renee crawled across Mason’s lap. I tried looking at her but my eyes weren’t cooperating with me. I watched her run her hands through Mason’s hair like she was petting an animal. He didn’t seem bothered by it. He was only focused on me and getting me to wake up and act right.

“Dude, here,” Trent said, as he shoved a pipe in Mason’s face. Mason dropped me back against the couch and took a hit of whatever was in the pipe.

“Kendall is pretty hot, dude,” someone said.

My heart sped up and I kept my eyes closed, willing it all to end.

“She’s beautiful, but I must say I’ve always had a thing for redheads,” someone else said. That ignited a round of laughter.

“Been there,” someone else said.

***

I woke up shaking uncontrollably. The room was dark. I had no idea how much time had passed, but it seemed like hours. I felt like myself again—for the most part. I was very groggy and feeling sick.

I stood up on shaky legs and fell into the wall. I fumbled for something to hold onto as I made my way through Renee’s dark apartment. I grabbed the first doorknob hoping it was a bathroom. I knew I was going to be sick and I didn’t want to puke all over Renee’s nice things.

“Mason?” I called out. “Renee?” No answer.

I pushed open the door.

“Oh, whoa!” Renee squealed and covered her chest with her hands. Mason was behind her in an intimate position. He kissed her shoulder and kept moving…not a care in the world.

“Where is the bathroom?” I demanded. “I think I’m going to be sick.” My stomach churned even more at the realization that Mason was having sex with Renee.

Shifty appeared in the hallway. Renee shot him an annoyed expression and he shut the door, leaving Mason and Renee to finish what they’d started.

“Kendall, are you okay?” Shifty asked. He tilted his head to the side. He was so messed up he could barely hold his eyes open. He walked me down the hall and opened the door to the bathroom. He turned on the light and offered me entrance. “Are you feeling sick?”

I nodded. I wondered how long it had taken for him to become addicted to using drugs. I wondered why everything I did seemed like such an epic fail.

“I suck at life,” I told him, kneeling before the toilet. He stood watching me from the doorway.

“Did you ever think life just sucks?” he asked.

I scrunched my nose. He was as loony as a toon.

“That makes no sense. Do you know what I’ve been through?” I asked.

Shifty studied me closely. “No, I don’t. But you can tell me if you want. I’m a good listener.” He came into the bathroom. I waited for the puke, but nothing came. It was an awful feeling.

“I come from a very messed up family. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen,” I said, letting out a sigh.

“Like?” Shifty pressed, taking a seat on the floor by the bathtub. He twisted a lighter through his fingers, listening to me talk.

“Let’s just say a lot of bad things. Things I could be put away for…for a very long time.” I slid my hand across the floor and met up with the cool tiles, enjoying the coolness against my cheek.

“I’m only telling you this because you do drugs. Your life has to be pretty screwed up too, right?” I asked, letting out a hiccup.

Shifty laughed at me.

“Let’s get some air. Sometimes coming down can make you feel crazy,” he said, helping me back up.

I threw my arm around his shoulder and let him carry me.

“Mason is in there with Renee. I almost thought I loved him.” I rested my head against Shifty’s chest as he carried me out to the balcony.

I gasped as the cool air hit my skin. It was chilly for July.

I let go of him as soon as my back hit the soft cushion of the lounge chair. I stared up at the black sky.

“Mason’s not himself right now. Don’t hold it against him,” Shifty assured me, lighting up a cigarette.

I nodded. Maybe he was right. Who was I to judge?

My insides felt like Jell-O. My skin was itchy and I wanted to puke.

“You’re a pretty girl,” he said, watching me from the railing. He took a drag from his cigarette and blew out a huge cloud of smoke.

“Thanks,” I said, accepting his compliment. He moved closer. My eyes were heavy and hardly able to focus anymore. The air was making me sleepy. Shifty crawled up the chair, his body hovering over mine. I tried to keep my eyes open but it was so hard. I wondered what he could possibly want with me. I was half dead.

“It’s a nice night,” he said, pushing my hair away from my eyes. I turned away and rested my head in my palm.

“Kendall,” Shifty said softly, bringing me out of a sleep.

“What?” I grumbled. Shifty shook me awake, pulling my shirt up, he moved my arms and started dragging my pants down my body until they were resting beside me on the chair.

My mind was aware of what was happening. I knew it wasn’t right, but I physically couldn’t do anything about it.

His lips were on my face, grazing my cheek, my neck, and my lips. Every minute or so he’d say my name to gauge how conscious I was.

Feeling neither angry nor frightened, I pressed my knees together. It was all I could do to keep him off me.

“Hey, Kendall,” Renee called from inside the house.

Shifty jumped and started to dress me. “Shh,” he said, shushing me as he did his best to throw my shirt back over my head.

“Oh, hell no!” Renee exclaimed. “Shifty get away from her. What are you doing?”

“Is she out here passed out?” Mason laughed, coming out of the apartment.

I opened my eyes as soon as I heard Mason’s voice. As soon as he saw what was going on, his expression changed. Rage filled his eyes, and he jumped over the patio chairs, grabbing hold of Shifty’s t-shirt.

“I-I wasn’t doing anything,” Shifty stammered.

Mason shoved Shifty toward the edge of the balcony. Renee screamed as Mason nearly shoved Shifty over the balcony, both of them close to falling over.

I did my best to get to my feet, trying to stop Mason from doing something he’d regret later.

“I swear I didn’t do anything. I just took her clothes off,” Shifty said, his hand holding onto Mason’s for dear life.

Mason wasn’t budging.

“You must not value your life too much, trying to take advantage of a girl like that,” he said.

“Mason, stop right now. You’re going to kill him. Put him down before your drop him off my balcony!” Renee screamed. She clutched her chest in a panic to end the standoff.

I pulled at my clothes, pulling it together in a hurry to stop Mason myself. I knew I was the only one who could.

“Do you think I care, Renee?” Mason asked. He released one hand from Shifty’s shirt, sending him farther over the railing. Shifty screamed and begged for his life. He curled his legs around the metal of the railing, holding on for dear life.

“Kendall, did he touch you?” Renee asked me.

Mason was ready to drop Shifty to his death. I could see it in his eyes.

“No. He didn’t do anything to me. Mason just set him back down. God, Mason, we’re all messed up.” I pulled at my hair in frustration.

Renee and I waited. The thought of Shifty’s broken body at the bottom of Renee’s apartment scared me to death. That was the last thing we needed.

Mason grabbed ahold of Shifty’s shirt and pulled him to his feet and away from the railing.

“She just saved your ass,” Mason told him. Mason walked over to me, I slapped him in his head at how stupid he was.

“You had no right to do that. I can take care of myself,” I snapped.

Renee agreed with me and slapped Mason on the other side of his head herself. He was confused by our reactions.

“He was trying to have sex with you. And you’re okay with that?” he scolded.

“It’s not anyone’s fault. Just drop it,” I retorted. “You’re no better than Shifty, Mason. Don’t think I didn’t see you.” Shifty hurried past us—probably to change his underwear after a scare like that.

“You two can sleep here for the night for obvious reasons. But, Mason, you’re a psycho,” she said, giving him one final look.

Mason shook his head and sighed. “I’m the psycho…” he scoffed.

I shrugged my shoulders. “That we are.”