Текст книги "The Reeducation of Savannah McGuire"
Автор книги: Heidi McLaughlin
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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 12 страниц)
Tyler
Cowboys don’t belong in Paris or maybe they do and I just need to find a way to fit in. After one of the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time, I’m a tourist. This is only after we had to stop and buy me some decent tennis shoes to compensate for the amount of walking we’re doing today. Savannah said as comfortable as my boots are, they’re no match for the streets of Paris. She would know by the way she’s dragging me around.
We slept in, or at least that’s what I assumed until she begged me not to make a peep. She was waiting for Alexis to leave before we got up to start our day. It pained me to think I put her in that position and suggested that I get a hotel for the remainder of the week. She refused, saying she wasn’t leaving my side. I really want her to remember that when I get on a plane and she’s left standing there, waving goodbye. She knows it doesn’t have to be like this.
Meeting Zach for lunch wasn’t high on my list of things to do, but after spending an hour or so with him I’m pleased that Savannah had him to hang out with. This is his last day in Paris and as he told Savannah so, I watched for any sign that I was, in fact, intruding on something between them. There weren’t any, much to my relief. As much as I hate to admit it, there was a nagging feeling inside telling me she wanted to be with him. He’s far worldlier than I am.
And now we stand on a cobblestone path surrounded by Claude Monet’s flowers. We toured the do-not-touch-anything-house and marveled at all his paintings just like the other tourists next to me. I’m a simple guy and honestly don’t get it. He painted some pictures, they’re nice, but to have your house turned into a museum seems to be a bit much. Of course, if this were John Wayne’s house, I’d be happier than a pig in shit. I’m slowly learning that I have to give in order to take from her and right now I’d give her the damn world if it meant she’d come home with me.
Broaching the subject of returning to Texas ain’t going to be an easy one. The timing has to be right and I have to make sure not to ruin anything special she has planned. This is where I wish I had Jeremiah’s courage. He’d blurt it and not worry about the consequences. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t do relationships. He’s not the tiptoe around type of guy. Maybe that’s why we get along so well.
“Aren’t the flowers so pretty?”
The dumbass cowboy in me wants to say they’re nothing but flowers. It’s not like this Monet dude created the flower. He just painted them. And not even the ones we’re looking at since those are long gone. But I can’t. That would be insensitive and I’d probably insult the people around us. So I squeeze her hand and smile. “They’re beautiful.”
Are they? As I look around I see people taking their pictures in front of them, all smiling and happy except this one lady who is standing there looking like she’s about to die. She sneezes, not once or twice, but consecutively for something like ten times in a row. Her face is red, puffy, and she looks irritated. I’m thinking that it’s allergy season for her and this probably isn’t the best place to be.
Savannah and I follow along with the tour guide, who is speaking English but not a version I’ve ever heard before. Every other word is French, or some self made word because he can’t remember the English equivalent. Listening to him makes me realize that if Savannah and I are to be together and she wants to travel, we must visit English-speaking countries because I want to learn about what I’m seeing.
I pay attention when Savannah asks a question and make mental notes to plant flowers around my house. When I start thinking about my house, I start thinking that I could make it a home for her. Put up a fence, build an addition and maybe plant some trees for privacy. The thought of her living across the way at her Aunt and Uncle’s is nice, but I want her with me. She’ll be eighteen soon, she can do whatever she wants. I’m praying that whatever that is, she’s considering having me be a part of it. The five-year age difference is nothing to me now. It’s just a number. Just like the years that kept us apart.
Making her life better is what I want to be able to do for her. Savannah needs a family. She needs to know and feel like people care about her. Her mother took that away from her when they left Texas. The promises of visits never happened, and we were soon missing everything going on in her life. If they had visited, I don’t think she and I would be in Paris right now. Or maybe we would, and I wouldn’t be worrying about how I’m going to convince her to come home with me.
We follow the crowd back to the bus, except we don’t get on it. We didn’t actually pay for the guided tour; we sort of just blended in. And while they’ll get a comfortable ride to their next stop, we’re heading back to Paris on the train. I actually don’t mind. Walking alone, with only Savannah to occupy my mind is perfect.
I never thought I’d want to be in love again after Annamae. Everything that she did gave me pause. Annamae convinced me that I could live both lives: the rancher and the socialite’s husband. Being away from her during the week is what led her to start lying and cheating. Rufus was there, weaseling his way into my role in her life. I should thank him because I have a feeling I would’ve been the one to lie and cheat the moment I laid eyes on Savannah.
I always thought my mom was crazy with her “You’re meant to be with Savannah” talk. This came up every time Annamae would mention marriage. My mom didn’t like her, but she loves Savannah, even if she hasn’t seen her in years.
There’s a field of flowers along our walk and even though it’s probably illegal, I stop and pick one.
“What are you doing?” Savannah looks up and down the road for oncoming vehicles, but can’t hide her giggle.
“Well, as we’ve been walking and looking at flowers all morning I realized that something has been missing.” I slide the white and pink flower, the kind I have no idea what it is, into her hair just behind her ear.
“What if this is part of Monet’s garden?”
I look around and shrug. “So what? He’s long gone and won’t miss a single flower. Besides, it was screaming at me that it needed to be in your hair.”
“It was, huh?” Her hands fist my shirt as she brings me closer.
“It was. I know it’s not possible, but you’re even more stunning with this little flower in your hair. Your eyes are brighter and your cheeks are pinker.” I want to immediately take back every stupid cheesy thing I just said. That’s not me. I can talk about tractors, hay and horses. I’m not romantic. It’s likely my downfall, but looking at Savannah now tells me I’m wrong. The adoration in her eyes is telling me everything I just said is right.
“Tyler… you make me feel special and wanted.” Her eyes glisten, making me feel like crap.
“Don’t cry.”
“Happy tears, I promise.” Her lips press against mine as images of rolling around in the field behind us tease me of what could be if we were home.
“What’s next on our list?”
“The Eiffel Tower. I want to hold you with the clouds behind us and the lights of the tower illuminating us while we kiss.”
“Then off to the tower we must go!”
Savannah
The sun is setting and I’m on the second floor of the Eiffel Tower again, this time with the man that I love. He’s standing next me, letting the breeze blow through his hair. I take out my phone and snap a quick picture while his eyes are closed. Not only do I plan to look at it repeatedly, but I also want to show him that he once did have fun in a foreign country.
In order to show him I need to be with him. Thinking that in a few short days he’ll be leaving Paris and I’ll still be here isn’t sitting well. I’m here at least until I turn eighteen. I can’t up and leave without an issue. Once I have my birthday, I fully plan to exercise my right of choice by doing something for me. I don’t know what that is at this time though. I love being far away from my mother and my life back in New York. I didn’t fall in love with the ranch, but I fell in love with Tyler. Finding a happy medium is going to be a challenge.
A commotion behind us causes Tyler to turn and stand in front of me. He’s been well versed on how heavy the crime is here, especially in the tourist spots. After he realizes it’s nothing, he turns back, wrapping me in his arms.
“I’ve come to the conclusion that leading a life as a criminal is the best way to make a living in Paris.”
“Is that so?”
“It is. The way I see it, you’re beautiful and could totally distract my unsuspecting victim while I clean them out good. We can hit a spot every few days then go on the run. Come back with a disguise or something. I wouldn’t want the police force to catch on to our ruse.”
“Our ruse? I don’t know about that, Tyler. It sounds more like you’re using me.” Leaning up on my tiptoes I kiss him and let my lips linger against his. He’s only been here a day and my mind has spent a majority of our time together in the gutter. Not that I’m sharing my thoughts, even though I know he’ll appreciate them. We definitely didn’t have enough time together before I had to leave and he can’t stay in my room his whole time here. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Sue are expecting pictures and stories of his time in France, I’m sure.
“You wouldn’t be the Bonnie to my Clyde?”
I angle my head and pretend to think about this offer. He tickles me when I don’t answer right away.
“Tyler, I don’t know how I feel about leading a life of crime. Isn’t there something else we could do?”
His face gets serious. I’m afraid I’ve opened Pandora’s Box now. We have to have a conversation and it’s one that I don’t want to even think about. A simple life is what I want, but he won’t allow it. I could go on, living like the invisible person I am, except Tyler wants me to shine and brighten everything around him.
“Where are we going next?” As much as I wanted to wait until it was dark, he’s right. We should leave and find a place to discuss us and any future we might have. Taking his hand in mine I lead him back to the elevator. We cram in like sardines as we descend to the bottom.
Since I told Tyler about the high rate of pickpockets in the city, he’s on high alert. The shoulder bumping, the people suddenly falling in front of you and even the lame attempt to get your attention has him walking closer to me, ready to protect if given the chance.
“I’m afraid I’m going to punch someone.”
“Do it. The police won’t care. I doubt they’ll even get the hint. I’ve seen some tourists fight with them and the police just sit there.”
“I know I’m from the country and don’t get out much, but this is crazy. They’re like mosquitos.”
“Yeah I guess they are.” I hadn’t though of them like that, but he’s right. It doesn’t matter how hard you hit them, they keep coming back for more.
We walk along the Seine. My head rests on his shoulder and our hands are clasped together. This is what I’ve dreamt about. Being in Paris and being in love. The city is magical and you can’t help but fall for it.
Tyler directs us to a bench and we sit down. He angles his body so he can look at me and I know... this is the talk. Not that I’ve been dreading it. I just didn’t want it to happen.
“Paris is beautiful, Savannah.”
“You haven’t even seen all of it yet.” I remind him if only to earn more time before he blurts out the words I don’t want to hear.
“I’m trying not to be that guy. I’m trying to let everything happen naturally, but now that I’m here and holding you in my arms, I have to know. Or maybe I don’t have to know and I’m just telling myself I do because hearing the words will either make or break this trip for me. What do you want Savannah?”
I breathe in deeply. He’s asking the same question I’ve been asking myself for months. It’s easy to say that I want Tyler. I know for a fact I want him in my life, but how and in what capacity can we make it work? Knowing the answer to that question would solve the “what ifs” plaguing my mind.
“Before I answer, know that I love you. You need to know that you’re the most important person in my life and the only one who is willing to let me grow up and be who I want to be. With that said, I don’t know who I want to be. I think being back in Texas reminded me that life used to be so simple. You get up, you work, you play and you enjoy your family. New York didn’t work like that, at least not for me. Right now, I resent my mom for taking me away from you, your mom, Aunt Sue and Uncle Bobby. Hell even Jeremiah. I missed so much, but I’ve also been afforded an opportunity to live here.”
I spread my arms out, and he looks around, listening to what I have to say. I’m not sure if it makes sense, but he’s paying attention. He’s giving me the freedom to speak my mind without judgment.
“There are two things for certain: One, I want to be with you. Two, I want to go to school. Now whether that is here, or in Texas or some other state, I don’t know. My fear is that if I tell my mother that I want to be in Texas, she’s going to stop paying for me and I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t ask Uncle Bobby for money and short of mucking stalls, I don’t have any work experience.”
Tyler takes my hand in his and relaxes against the bench. “I’ve done a lot of thinking since you left. I know you’re too young to settle down and I also know you don’t want to live on the ranch.”
I start to shake my head but the look in his eyes makes me stop.
“I can accept that we’re different, Savannah, and it’s okay. What I want to tell you is this… I want you to come back to Texas and move in with my momma. She says you can live there and go to school. I’ll come up on the weekends if you want me to, and we’ll try having a relationship. If your mom cuts you off, I’ll help pay for school.”
“Tyler – ”
“Listen, please. We want you home, Savvy. The short time you were on the ranch changed things. You’re the beacon – or something like that – according to Aunt Sue and she misses you. So even if you’re only there for the weekends or holidays, we want you to come home.
“And I want to be with you. I want to take my girl to the honkytonk and two-step with her on a Saturday night. I want to hold you by the bonfire and make love to you under the stars. Hell, right about now I’d get down on my knee and ask you to be my wife, but I’m not ready for that.”
The thought of marriage doesn’t scare me, but being married at eighteen does.
“What’s stopping you?”
Tyler smiles and his eyes light up. My stomach starts to turn, thinking that I’ve said something I shouldn’t have.
“Me. I’m stopping me. I want to build a house for us. Plant some flowers and make it a real home. Sure it’s cozy now, but you deserve more. Plus, I want you to go school and experience life. You have to make sure living on a ranch is something you want to do.”
“And what if it’s not?” I throw that out there for him to ponder. He’s a rancher, not me. What if I can’t live on the ranch without going stir crazy and pulling my hair out like my mother?
“Then we’ll move somewhere in between and I’ll commute. I’m not losing you again, Savannah McGuire.”
Tyler
I’m not losing you again, Savannah McGuire.
Those words have replayed over and over in my thoughts every day since I left Paris without her. It’s been two months, and each day feels longer than the next. The calls are sporadic at best. The time difference makes it difficult, as well as my long hours, but we try. The emails are more frequent and I’ve started hounding the high-speed internet companies to move their fiber optics lines out this way for better access. For now, it’s slow, but worth it just to see her email in the morning. However the fact of the matter is, she’s still in Paris and I’m back on the ranch.
Nothing was resolved before I left. Not that I expected it be. One thing that did happen is that she had a nice long talk with my mom about coming back to Texas and moving in with her. I think this is what Savannah needs – a mother who is going to take care of her and let her grow. I thought for sure she’d be flying back with me, but no such luck. Pressuring her will only backfire so I’m patient. I’m told she’ll make a decision soon and Jeremiah wants to know how long I’m willing to wait. He doesn’t get it. His constant one night stand marathon through the hearts of Texas may work for him, but not for me. What he doesn’t know is I’d probably wait forever.
Savannah is going through a tough time. She’s a girl who deserves to be loved fully and appreciated for who she is. Her mother has taken away that connection and, because of that, it’s hard for her to accept that people care about her without having ulterior motives. Her friends in New York used her and when shit went south they bailed, acting as if she did something wrong. Jeremiah would never do that. If I were to go down in flames, he’d be right there with me. Savannah needs someone like Jeremiah in her life, preferably a female if it ain’t me. Not that I’d be jealous or anything.
Who am I kidding? I’d be freaking beside myself if I had to share her with anyone. Even the brief moment in Paris when Zach was standing there, acting protective over her, I thought I had lost her and would have to fight and crawl my way back into her life. As much as I hate to admit it, Zach would be a good friend to her... or an older, wiser brother-type, which she could use. Someone who would protect her if need be and be there for her when the time came.
Pulling the tractor into the barn, I shut it off and sit there for minute in the quiet. Everyone has gone home early to get ready for Uncle Bobby’s surprise birthday party. Aunt Sue and my mother got it in their heads that Bobby needed a party. I told them they’re crazy if they think he’s gonna enjoy himself at Red’s, but they didn’t listen. Somehow Aunt Sue was able to take Bobby away from the ranch for the day, too. That knocked me back a few steps when he said he was taking the day off. With him being gone, I didn’t have to suffer his wrath when I let people out early. Most of the crew will be at Red’s to wish him a happy birthday and at least they’ll have time to shower first.
As soon as I pull into my driveway, Jeremiah is there, sitting on the tailgate of his truck.
“What are you doing here so early?”
He shrugs and jumps down, following me into my house. On the coffee table are the plans I’ve drawn up to expand. I try to pick them up before he can see them but I’m too late.
“What’s this?”
I sigh, taking off my hat and tossing it onto the chair on the other side of my living room. “I’m going to build an addition.”
“Why?”
Sitting down, I take the plans from his hand. After coming back from Paris I decided that even if Savannah isn’t with me, I needed to expand. I can’t live in a small house for the rest of my life and I may want a family some day. Might as well do this while I have the time.
“I’m going to make it like Bobby and Sue’s place.”
Jeremiah shakes his head. “What if she never comes back?”
I rub my hands down my legs before standing. Over the past few months I’ve done a lot of pacing when I’m not sleeping or at work.
“I still need to do it. This is my home and I need to invest in my future.”
Jeremiah picks up the drawings again before setting them down. “Man, you’ve got it hard for a chick that ain’t even here. What if you do all of this and she never comes back, or she does but shows up with a boyfriend?”
She won’t do that because she loves me. I don’t say that to him, though, because he’ll never understand.
I shrug in return. “Well I’ll have a nice house for a nice girl when the time comes.” I leave him there while I go take a shower. It’s quick because we have to get to Red’s, but the longer I let the water run the clearer my thoughts are. In a way, he’s right. She’s not here, yet I’m planning for a future with her. Not enough time has passed for me to give up on her. I don’t have a predetermined time limit, but a few months ain’t enough.
Jeremiah won’t let me hang on too long though. He’s too good of a friend to let me live in limbo. It’s not going to matter how hard I try.
When we arrive at Red’s the parking lot is full and over flowing and we have to park down the street. I know Bobby is well respected, but I never thought he’d pack the house at the local bar. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this many cars here. It’ll be a good night for Della tending bar.
Jeremiah rushes ahead of me, probably hoping that one of his flames is there. Sometimes I wonder why I even come out with him. He could at least walk with me into the bar.
For being so packed, it’s sure quiet on the outside. I can’t hear any music playing and am assuming Bobby has asked them to turn it down. That would be embarrassing for Sue, but Bobby is known to be a curmudgeon.
I pull the wooden door open and step in. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
“Surprise!” Many voices yell as the lights come on. I stand there with my mouth gaping open like a fish searching for water. My mom comes up to me and gives me a hug. I barely recognize that her arms are around me and forget to hug her back.
“What is this?”
“It’s an early birthday party. We wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, I’m definitely surprised.”
My birthday isn’t for another month and before I can ask who she’s talking about with her “we”, a beer is being pushed into my hand and birthday wishes are given. Then I’m pushed into the middle of the dance floor where a giant birthday cake sits on the floor.
“There better be a naked chick in there,” Jeremiah says loud enough for everyone to hear. I shake my head and meet the gazes of Bobby and Sue who both look mortified. Great. Here I am telling them that I’ll take care of their niece and my best friend is hoping there’s a naked woman inside my cake.
The tall candles are lit and everyone starts to sing. I step forward and take a deep breath in.
“Don’t forget to make a wish,” someone yells.
I smile and thank them, inhaling again to blow out the candles. As soon as they’re out, cheers erupt and I find myself blushing at all the unnecessary attention.
“What’d you wish for?” my mom asks, as she squeezes me cheeks. She knows. I don’t need to tell her.
“You know.”
“Yes, but I want to hear you say it.”
“Maybe later,” I tell her as I give her a kiss on the cheek.
Jeremiah hands me a knife and tells me to cut the cake. Of course, he’d be hungry.
As soon as I step up to the cake, it moves.
“What the hell?” I step forward and touch it. The frosting is hard, and doesn’t seem at all edible.
“What’s going on?” I ask the people surrounding me, but no one answers. Before I can ask again, my cake is exploding, much to Jeremiah’s delight.
And much to mine, as well, as Savannah is standing in front of me surrounded by my very apparent cardboard cake.
“Happy Birthday,” she yells as she throws her hands up in the air.
I’m too stunned to move, my jaw dropping open in complete surprise, but that doesn’t stop her. Before I can comprehend that she’s standing here, in Red’s, her arms are wrapped around my waist.
“Am I dreaming?”
“Not at all,” she says, shaking her head. “Your mom and I have been planning this for a while now. I’ve been back in Texas for three days.”
“What?” I ask, incredulously.
“I needed to surprise you. Show you how much you mean to me.”
I take this opportunity to kiss her until Jeremiah says something about the lack of cake. I laugh against her lips and quickly pull her out of the bar. We need to talk and it needs to be done without an audience.
As soon as we’re outside, I push her up against the wall. I’ve missed her so much it hurts.
“How long are you here for?”
“Forever, if you’ll have me.”
“What does that mean?” My words are pleading. I have to know.
“It means that I’m back in Texas. It also means I’m still not sure if I want to stay here forever, but I do know that I want to be with you.”
I tuck her hair behind her ear, and kiss her lightly. “I want nothing more.”
She clutches my shirt, kissing me back with enough force that it causes me to step back. “You do want more.”
I shrug and give her a half smile. I’m a guy. She’s hot. That combination alone equals dirty thoughts.
“I know you want me to live with you.”
“I do, but we have time for that, Savannah. I’m just happy that you’re here.”
Tears start to form in her eyes, reminding me that this girl needs to be loved and told so every day. If she’s giving me the opportunity, I’m going to take it.
“I want to live with you, Tyler. After you left, my mom sent me a box of stuff and inside was some letters that my dad and she exchanged. They were so in love and didn’t care what anyone said. He talked about you and how you’d be a stand-up guy some day and had no doubt that you’d fall in love with me.
“I’m not saying we need to get married or anything like that, but maybe we can live together and see if we’re meant to be. I’ll commute to the community college, take some classes until I know what I want to do and at night, we’ll be together. Living a life on the ranch.”
Words are caught in my throat as I listen to her say everything. If I weren’t touching her, I’d think this was all a dream. But she’s here, in the flesh, pouring her heart out to me.
“Yeah?” is the only response I can form, and I hate myself for being an idiot.
“Yeah,” she replies as she smiles bright. “You and I, together, forever.”
When I was told to make a wish, it was about Savannah. I’m not going to tell anyone what it was, but I will say this – always wish before you blow out your candles.
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