Текст книги "The Reeducation of Savannah McGuire"

Автор книги: Heidi McLaughlin

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 12 страниц)

Tyler

Annamae was always jumping into my arms whenever I saw her. Even if it were an hour after l dropped her off. I hated it, found it annoying and ridiculous. A few times I thought it’d be funny to not catch her, but I always did.

Savannah jumping into my arms is a relief. The way she wraps herself around me, allowing me to bury my nose in her hair and hold her to me, sends a sense of calm through my body. Coming to Paris was the right decision regardless of what happens while I’m here. Being with her right now is what we both needed.

No lie, I was scared as the day turned to night and she hadn’t returned. My fears of her finding someone new or not being in town plagued my thoughts all day. I knew the risk, but was willing to take it just to see her, just to have this moment with her, even if it’s my last.

When you have nothing but time to kill, you start to think and that’s not always a beneficial thing. Coupled with my fears, each time I heard footsteps I readied myself for rejection. I could picture her face in my head, the look of disgust and anger as she saw me standing by her door waiting.

It’s still there even as I hold her close – that feeling that she doesn’t want me here. I’m afraid to let her go. Afraid that the moment I let her down, and she looks at me, her face will fall and I’ll be asked… no told... to leave. I don’t want to hear that Paris makes her happy and I know that makes me selfish, but she’s in my arms and all I want to do is carry her out of here and back to the airport.

Against my will, she wants down. I hold her as I lower her until her feet touch the ground and only then do I reluctantly loosen my grip. Her hands are soft against my face as she holds me, letting her fingers tickle the scruff growing in.

“I think I’m dreaming,” she says.

I want to kiss her, but the sounds of footsteps stop me. I look over her shoulder to find a man coming toward us. Before I can acknowledge his presence Savannah’s name is falling from his lips. I can’t even describe what I’m feeling. My skin feels tight. My heart is racing. My tongue feels heavy as Savannah turns in my arms and takes a step toward this man. She’s met someone else.

I’m too late.

“Zach?” her voice is soft and welcoming. I instantly hate that I’m here and hate the man standing on the other side of her.

“You didn’t come to the window… is everything okay?” I glare at him, hoping to convey that she belongs to me. I can’t help it. Savannah is worth fighting for and he needs to know that. I have a feeling this is going to be a showdown and not the Wild West kind. It’ll be him versus me with Savannah in the middle. I give him a good look – noticing that he’s the same stature as I am. It’ll be a fair fight.

Except when Savannah turns and looks at me, I get the feeling that I’ve already lost. I suck in my bottom lip to bite it, anything to tell my brain that the pain is okay. She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes, it’s nothing like I’m used to from her.

“Everything’s great. I was just saying –”

“Please don’t,” I say as my voice breaks.

“It’s not what it looks like. I promise.” She grabs for my hand and I let her. If I’m stupid enough to believe those words I might as well get one last hand hold out of the deal.

Savannah looks back at her friend and all I want to do is throw her over my shoulder and start running. It’s ridiculous, I know, but there’s something about her that makes me want to do stupid things like profess my love to anyone that will listen. I hope this “Zach” guy doesn’t feel the same way.

“Zach, this is Tyler.”

He steps forward before she can finish her sentence. Or maybe she’s done and I’m just hoping for more.

“Hey, man, it’s nice to meet you.” Before I know it, we’re shaking hands and I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone.

“Are we still on for breakfast?” he asks, as she looks back and forth between him and me.

“Let’s shoot for lunch at the café on the corner.” He kisses her on the cheek and disappears down the hall, all while I stand there trying to figure out what’s going on.

“Hey,” she says, as she places her hand against my cheek and turns me toward her. “Do you think that maybe you want to kiss me?”

“What about that guy?”

“Kiss me first and then I’ll tell you.”

I fight the urge to be like her and roll my eyes. “It doesn’t work like that, Savvy.” She sighs and leaves the confines of our personal bubble to open her door. After she steps in, I follow and take in the scene before me. The windows are long and covered by gold curtains that would make Aunt Sue cringe, with dark red furniture set against stark white walls. Everything screams “do not touch” and I can picture my mother squeezing the crap out of my hand as we walk through a store where someone would buy all of this.

“Are you thirsty or hungry?” Savannah takes my bag and sets it down against the white wall, causing me to worry that I’m too dirty to be in this place. My farm clothes are going to soil everything if I’m not careful. Talk about being uncomfortable.

“I am, but that can all wait. I want to see you. Talk to you. Just even holding you right now would be enough.” I step to her, placing my hand on her hip. I let out a long exhale as I summon up the courage to ask the question that’s at the forefront of my mind. “Are you in love with that guy?”

Savannah falls into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. As much as I want to kiss her, I refuse. I have to know where her heart is, even if this is the last time I see her. Her fingers move into my hair, pushing my ball cap off my head. Internally, I cringe, thinking about it dirtying up the floor when it lands but Savannah doesn’t seem to care.

“No, I’m not,” she whispers as her lips hover dangerously close to mine. My fingers dig into her hips as I pull her body flush with mine. “I met him a week ago. He’s a Marine on leave and we’ve just been hanging out.”

“Why was he waiting for you?”

“To make sure I made it into my apartment safely.”

For some reason the words “my apartment” cause me to step back. Is she established already? Am I too late to change her mind? I move away from her to fully take in the place that she lives. That she’s calling home. It’s grand compared to the ranch and something I could never provide for her. It hits me like a ton of bricks just how opposite she and I are. I know from experience even love can’t overcome the desire to live a different lifestyle.

“Tyler, what’s wrong?”

“This,” I say as I spread my hands out. “I can’t compete with this.”

Savannah steps behind me and rests cheek against my shoulder. It’s a simple moment like this – when I realize how well we fit – that kills me knowing we likely won’t end up together. I can see it now, in five or ten years from now, she’ll come back and if we’re both single we’ll hook-up because the attraction is there, but I have a feeling that’s all we’ll end up being.

“Do you want to compete with it?”

Turning in her arms, I grab her face and bring our lips together. Our kiss starts off slowly and is nothing but lips until her hands pull my hair. I let Savannah lead. I let her dictate where this kiss is going. She whimpers as her tongue touches mine and her nails dig into my scalp. My mind is racing, battling with my heart as my hands roam over her body grasping to hold every inch of her.

She pulls away all too soon, leaving me aching for more. Her fingers move in and out of my hair as she labors her breathing, pressing her forehead to mine as she gives me a lingering kiss before sighing. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Those words are the ones I’ve been dying to hear, but didn’t realize how much they’d tear at my heart. I want to get down on bended knee and profess my love, but it’s too soon, and she has a lot of life to live before she’s tied down. Besides, I may not be enough. I want to be enough, though, and know I may need to change for her in order to accomplish that. Can I give up the ranch and be the man she wants me to be?

I’m not sure. The ranch is all I know. It’s all I’ve cared about for years. It’s in my blood and was once in hers.

“You have no idea how happy I am that you’re here.”

“Tell me,” I beg her. If she’s willing to open up, I’m more than willing to absorb everything she wants to tell me.

She takes my hand, stopping to pick up my hat. She places it on my head awkwardly but I don’t dare fix it. I steal a kiss before I bend over to pick up my suitcase and let her lead me wherever she’s taking me. I wonder if she knows that I’d follow her anywhere. Evident by the fact that I’m so out of my comfort zone, I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. I’m out of my element, yet so at ease as long as I’m with Savannah.

We walk down the hall and into her room. It’s vastly different from the living room, but still too fashionable for my tastes. Many different kinds of fabrics cover the walls and drape over the window. Soft, muted light flows through giving off a moonlight ambience.

“This is nice.”

She shrugs. “It’s whatever. There’s something missing though.”

“What’s that?” I ask, as I set my bag and hat down. Her fingers trail up my arm, resting on my shoulders.

“You,” she whispers against my lips.

Savannah

Pinch me.

Pinch me again.

Pinch me again and again.

The boy… no he’s so much more than a boy... the man that makes my heart beat a little bit faster, who makes my palms sweat, who makes my skin tingle, is standing in my bedroom in Paris. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s a dream. But my dream wouldn’t include Zach coming back to shake Tyler’s hand. That’s how I knew Tyler was real. That’s how I knew he was here for me.

And now with him standing in my room, I want nothing more than to be with him, to fall asleep in his arms and to hold his hand while we tour Paris and he falls in love. Except, he’s not here to sightsee or fall in love with our surroundings. Even I know that. The proverbial elephant sitting in the corner with its trunk in the air is reminding me of that. But my plan is to ignore everything and just live in the moment. I don’t want to know when he’s going home or what he’s really doing here. Those answers will come in due time. Right now, its just Tyler, me, and the city I’ve fallen in love with.

He looks around my room. It’s different from the one I have in Texas, but a lot like the one I had in New York. I found the tapestries at a farmers market during my first weekend here. I had to have them and loved stopping at every stand that I went to that day. I didn’t do those things in Texas. I barely left the ranch. I don’t know why, either. I was either afraid or just not willing to unless it was to a mall, but when I arrived here and came upon the market, it felt right. It’s what I wanted to do. It’s what I imagine myself doing every weekend.

“This is what I’m like,” I tell him as I let the fabric run over my fingers. “In New York I decorated my room with art, tapestries and lights.” I walk over to the other side of my room, which is just a fabric-covered wall. “At my mom’s, this wall had a bookshelf on it. I would look through second-hand stores for old books. Chaucer, Bronte… anything I could find.”

“Did you ever read them?”

I shake my head as my fingers move along the wall. Tyler needs to know this about me. He needs to know the real me. Not the girl that was sent to her Uncle’s ranch for breaking the rules. Not the girl who wore cowboy boots and cleaned horse stalls. That wasn’t me.

“No time,” I tell him. “There were parties and social gatherings that had to be attended. Shopping had to be done. Teachers didn’t care about our homework, just who our parents were. The firm my mom works for, they’re the legal council for the school so I had a free pass. A bunch of us did. There was the Senator’s daughter, the CEO’s son. It didn’t matter as long as the school saw the money.

“So we partied, and we went to clubs. Everyone slept late on Saturdays except for me. I’d wake up and take the train out of town while all my friends slept it off. I’d find a farmer’s market and just spend hours and hours looking at everything. My mother hated everything I brought back and so did my friends,” I trail off. He knows about my so-called friends. The moment shit went south they bailed and acted like they didn’t know me.

“I like your room. It’s different, but I like it.”

“It’s me. The pink room with the box full of My Little Ponies isn’t me. I’m sure it could’ve been had I never moved, but New York is so cultural, so diverse. One weekend, I sat in Central Park and listened to an African band play for hours. I just sat there and when I got home my mom was livid because the maid hadn’t shown up yet and she needed coffee.” I laugh even though it’s not funny. If the maid wasn’t there, it was my responsibility to keep her focused on her job and if that meant she needed coffee, I was to get it for her.

“You could –”

“Don’t say it,” I say, as I step in front of him and put my fingers to his lips. “I don’t want to talk about why you’re here. I just want to be with you. I just want to hold you, touch you.” My fingers trail down the front of his shirt pulling each button. “Tomorrow I want to be like those other couples I see at the Eiffel Tower, kissing in the sunset. Can you give me that?”

“I’ll give you anything you ask for, Savannah,” Tyler says as he walks us backwards toward my bed. “I think you know that.” He stops when I fall onto my bed. He finishes unbuttoning his shirt, rolling it over each shoulder one at a time. His sculptured chest beckons as I let my lips press against this skin.

Tyler lifts my chin, pulling me away from him. “Where’s the lady you live with?”

I sit back on my bed and pull him with me. We both lay on our sides facing each other. I have to put a pillow between us because his chest is distracting and I need to focus on him and not his body.

“When I left you at the airport, I wanted to turn around. I wanted to go back to you and ask you to take me away. It didn’t matter where, just away from Texas, New York, even here, but I knew you wouldn’t leave the ranch and I could never bring myself to be selfish enough to ask. So I got on the plane because that’s what my mother wanted.

“When I arrived, I was in the city I had only dreamt about...the city I wanted to be in even though I had only seen it through pictures. My first weekend, as you know, was everything I thought it would be. But then the workweek came around and Alexis disappeared. She works more than my mother does and I never see her. I’m alone again at dinner and on weekends, left to figure life out on my own.”

I’m ruining Tyler’s surprise with my less than stellar parental life. I can see the anguish in his eyes as he keeps eye contact with me. His touch is soft as he pushes my hair behind my ear. I turn slightly and kiss his palm as it rests on my cheek.

“What are your dreams now, Savannah?”

I close my eyes as tears start to flow. He’s my dream, but I’m not ready. I’m not yet eighteen and have always said I don’t want to end up like my mother. What if I grew to resent Tyler when he’s been nothing but good to me? I’m not sure I’d be able to live with myself.

Then there’s the ranch. He loves it. I outgrew it. One of us would have to make a sacrifice and I’m not sure I can do that.

“I’m not sure my dreams are worthy of what dreams should be,” I tell him.

“Everyone’s dreams should be followed.”

“What if they hurt the ones you love?”

He knows what I’m talking about and doesn’t pull away knowing that we could end here. “If you love someone, you let them follow their dreams and hope that eventually their dreams lead them back to you.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“I’m not Savannah, I’m just scared of losing you forever, so I’m willing to let you go in hopes you’ll come back to me in the end.” Tyler trails his hand down my side until it’s gripping my hip. “I know we’re different, but we haven’t always been. I know I can make you happy if you give me the chance.”

“And what if I can’t make you happy?”

“Impossible,” he says, as he kisses my nose.

“Tyler…”

He stops what I’m about to say by sealing my lips with his. The pillow separating us is thrown across the room and before I can catch my breath I’m under him. Tyler pulls away, but not before grinding into me.

“I didn’t want you to think I came here just for sex, but I’ve missed you too much and seeing you… well, shit, I’m going to sound like Jeremiah here and tell you that you’re just too damn hot and I’m horny as hell.”

I can’t help but laugh. “So what you’re saying is you like me?” I ask, thrusting back.

“A little more than like,” he says as he leans back on his knees, pulling me with him. He pulls at the hem of my shirt, bringing it over my head and unclasping my bra as soon as my shirt is off.

“More than like?”

“Mhm,” he mumbles as he places kisses over my breasts. He looks at me as he pulls away. “I’m in love with you Savannah. I’ve been in love with you since before I knew what love was. I’m so in love with you that I’ll do anything you ask of me.”

“Is that so?”

Tyler nods, pulling his t-shirt up and over his head. His abs are on full display and much more defined than I remember. I can’t resist the urge to touch them as my finger starts to trace each curve, valley and dip along his abdomen.

“You’ve been working out?” I look up quickly, waiting for an answer to my question.

Tyler nods again. “I have nothing but time on my hands right now.”

My finger stops at his belt for a brief second before I give it a tug. As soon as it’s free, it dangles there, the metal pieces clanking against each other and echoing throughout my room.

“We should turn on some music and lock the door.”

Tyler agrees and goes to the door while I turn on my iPod. The music is classical, and he looks at me questioningly. I raise my eyebrow and eye his pants before looking back at him. He laughs and slowly unbuttons his jeans, one painstakingly slow button at a time. I swallow when his bulge pushes through from its own eagerness to come out.

“You have… um, quite the package there,” I say, barely able to spit it out before I start to laugh.

“What the… have you been secretly talking to Jeremiah?” he asks, as he shimmies out of his jeans. He stands there in front me, clad only in boxer briefs with his hands on his hips. “I think you need to get undressed.”

He grabs my ankles, pulling me toward him. I giggle, but quickly use my hand to cover my mouth. Even though Alexis isn’t home, the last thing I want is for our neighbors to say they heard noises coming from my room. Instead of taking my shorts off, he kisses my bare stomach, moving softly along the waistband and around my belly button sending a spark of fire right to where I want him... where I need him.

I clumsily work at getting my shorts off while Tyler’s mouth makes love to my stomach. He has me moving any which way to get him to move south. He smiles, teasing me with his tongue. I sigh loudly when I feel his fingers grip the sides of my underwear, swiftly taking them off before he removes his own.

Tyler moves toward me, causing me to back up. He hovers, his naked body lining up with mine.

“Sometimes I think I’m dreaming when I look at you.”

“Why would you say that?” I ask cupping his cheek and letting my fingertips play with his hair.

His answer comes in the form of a kiss, a deep penetrating one that lets me feel what he means. My fingers tangle in his hair as our tongues move against each other. My legs spread, inviting him to center himself, showing him that I want this. Tyler rocks on his knees, the tip of his erection rubbing against my clit. Even the lightest sensation is causing the heat to rise in my body. Instinct causes my hips to buck. Knowing he’s so close is unbearable. I grip his cock, stroking him as he moves above me.

Tyler tugs at my lip when I set him at my core. His eyes meet mine asking if I’m ready. He should know that I’m ready for anything when it comes to him. Someday I’ll be able to tell him that, but until then, I can show him that he has every part of me. I raise my hips, meeting him half way.

The gentle way he presses into me causes my back to arch. Tyler pulls out, only to enter again. He feels weightless against my skin as he sets our rhythm, pumping in and out. The annoying squeak of my mattress is a turn on and I dig my nails into his lower back, pushing him harder into me.

Tyler peppers me with kisses as our slick bodies move against each other. He hitches my leg over his shoulder, changing positions. Our tempo increases, the pressure building for me as he picks up the pace. My leg is dropped, and he rears back on his knees, gripping my hips to meet his thrusts.

I scream out, with a stern reminder to be quiet, but that doesn’t last when he rubs my sensitive clit. My headboard slams against the wall, for sure alerting the neighbors of what’s going on. Right now I don’t care because the tightening of my walls around his cock is the best feeling ever.

“Savannah… shit… oh fuck…” his words are said breathlessly as he dives into me without reservation. I take all of him as he lands on me, pounding hard until he’s reached his release. He moans, twitching with an aftershock while he kisses my shoulder and neck.

“I’m not trying to ruin the moment, but I think that was better than our first time.”

“Every time with you is like our first time,” I tell him with a kiss. We’re going to have to have a lot of first times before he leaves. They’re going to need to be enough until I see him again.