Текст книги "My Kind of Forever"
Автор книги: Heidi McLaughlin
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Текущая страница: 1 (всего у книги 18 страниц)
The Reeducation of Savannah McGuire
The Beaumont Series
Forever My Girl – Beaumont Series #1
My Everything – Beaumont Series #1.5
My Unexpected Forever – Beaumont Series #2
Finding My Forever – Beaumont Series #3
Finding My Way – Beaumont Series #4
12 Days of Forever – Beaumont Series #4.5
Lost in You Series
Lost in You – Lost in You #1
Lost in Us – Lost in You #1.5
The Archer Brothers
Here with Me
Choose Me
Liam Page knows music and a life of solitude, but that all changed when he returned to Beaumont. The once notorious bad boy lead singer of 4225 West is now living the domesticated life with his wife and high school sweetheart, Josie, and their son, Noah. Life is good for the Westbury family.
Josie Westbury loves everything about her life. She’s happily married. She has a successful business and a son who keeps her active. The only thing she longs for is another child.
Torn between his love for music and his love for his family, Liam finds he’s needed back in Los Angeles and the place where it all began. Josie is apprehensive, but knows this is what’s best for Liam and the bands career; however, it doesn’t take long for her biggest fears to start coming true.
Liam and Josie's story continues in this last installment of The Beaumont Series.
To all the fans who have stuck with
Liam & Josie, Harrison & Katelyn and Jimmy & Jenna,
I thank you!
Liam’s eyes go wide when the whoosh of the baby’s heartbeat echoes throughout the room. He stares from the screen to me and back at the screen again. He missed this with Noah so it was important for him to be here when we found out the sex of the baby.
“That has got to be the coolest sound ever. No wonder JD listens to it all the time. I should record it too.”
He takes out his cell phone and holds it right next to the speaker on the monitor. Watching him take all of this in without reservation is such a relief. It’s one thing to become an “insta-dad” to a then ten year old, but it’s entirely different when you’re part of the entire process from the beginning. Liam missed everything with Noah but hasn’t missed a single step this time.
“Mr. and Mrs. Westbury, would you like to know the sex of the baby?”
I look at Liam who smiles so brightly it makes me love him even more. We need this, not because we’re struggling, but because I know he feels incomplete when it comes to being a dad. When Eden is with us, he’s the doting uncle that does everything for her, even rushing to change her diaper. She has Liam wrapped around her little finger and I don’t think he’d want for it to be any different. Liam wants to experience the midnight and two a.m. feedings, the walks in the park, and the first babbling words. I want that for him as well.
Noah, on the other hand, doesn’t want a sibling.
“Do you want to know, Jojo?”
There they are the words I’ve been waiting for... he wants to know but is leaving the decision up to me.
“Yes, I want to know.”
“Perfect,” the sonographer says. “If you look right here, you’ll see his penis.”
“It’s a boy!”
“He has a penis!” Liam shouts, silencing the room.
We look at him and burst out laughing. Liam blushes when he realizes his outburst and turns his attention back to the sonogram on the monitor. He studies it as if there’s a test at the end of the visit and I silently wish I had my camera or phone with me so I could take his picture. I want to believe this is how he would have been when I was pregnant with Noah, but my heart tells me otherwise.
It’s hard to understand why he left, especially the way he did, but I accept it. We were young and naïve about what the future held for either of us. Life is rainbows and roses when you’re eighteen and blinded by your first love. My life was planned around Liam’s. I was going to be his wife, be his constant cheerleader as he played in the NFL. I was going to be the doting mother of two children in our big fancy house inside a gated community. I was going to be the wife who was in love with her husband no matter what.
Instead, I ended up being pregnant and alone. I ended up being a distant memory, an annoying mess of the person he once loved at the other end of a voice message, screaming how much I hated him but never blurting out the words that could’ve changed everything.
I often think back to those bleak days of being forced fed by Mason and Katelyn. Sleeping between my two best friends because they feared I would do something stupid. The only stupid thing I wanted to do was find Liam and tell him face-to-face that we were having a child.
When I went to his parents, desperate and scared, I knew it was a long shot. I knew if I could just talk to Bianca, she would reach out to Liam and tell him to call me. She’d tell him to come home, but it wasn’t meant to be. Sterling refused to acknowledge that I was carrying his grandchild. To them, I was nothing but trash hell bent on trapping their son. To them, Liam leaving me was the best thing he could’ve ever done.
They were right because had I told him, he would’ve come home and we would’ve gotten married. That much I’m sure about. Liam’s a good man and he would’ve done the right thing. But I don’t believe I’d still be with him today. Liam was right when he said we’d be divorced. I can see it play out in my mind. With a child and no college education, he’d be stuck in a dead end job. He’d sulk, sitting in front of the television drinking beer each night. His friends would have all achieved what they set out to do, leaving him behind. He was right to leave and follow his dreams. Even though it killed me to not have him by my side when Noah was born, I have him now.
The sonographer prints off a few pictures and hands them to Liam. He’s mesmerized by them, staring at each one. Honestly, unless things are pointed out to me I don’t know what I’m looking at. The first time I saw Noah, I cried. Not because I was overjoyed or scared out of my mind, but because I thought I was having a bean and that something was seriously wrong with me.
When Liam looks at me, he’s beaming. The excitement in his eyes shows me that he wants this just as much as I do. Bringing another child into the world, into our lives, is the best thing that could’ve happened to us right now.
Outside the doctor’s office, Liam holds me in his arms. I can feel his heart pounding against my chest. He’s excited, ready to burst.
“I’m going to stop by the nursery before I head home,” I tell him.
Liam pulls back, keeping his hands clasped behind by back. “I want to celebrate tonight, have everyone over and share the news.”
I run my fingers over his stubble. It’s constant and I love it. He tried to go full on beard with me, but I didn’t like it. He looked like a chipmunk hoarding nuts in his cheeks. Since I complained, he’s kept it trimmed and perfect.
Sometimes, when I look into his eyes, I see the same eighteen-year-old that I fell in love with. Even with our years apart, my love for him hasn’t subsided. It will always be there because we share a son. It’s there because he’s my soul mate. Whether we’re together or not, I’ll always love him.
“Dinner sounds perfect. I’ll stop by the store on the way home.”
He kisses the tip of my nose before kissing my lips. I melt into him, not caring about the people around us. I’m happy and in love with this man and we’re about to have a baby, another son. I want everyone to share in our joy.
“I love you, Jojo,” he says with a wink as he walks away. My eyes fall to his backside as I watch the swagger in his hips. No wonder he’s so good at his job – just staring at his ass makes me turn to goo.
“You’re one lucky lady.” I turn and smile at the white haired older lady sitting near me. “I had that once in my life, but he’s been gone for some time. Do you suppose you find that kind of love again?”
My eyes go from her to the door and back again. “Yes,” I say truthfully. “I lost him once, a long time ago.” Those are my parting words as I walk out of the doctor’s office and head to the nursery.
My doctor’s office is in a wing off of the hospital. It’s super convenient when you’re convinced that you’re having Braxton Hicks contractions but are really in labor and your doctor needs to send you to Labor & Delivery. That was me with Noah. I didn’t want to believe that the time had come, or that Liam wasn’t going to be there. I thought for sure he’d call once I left him a message with his agent’s office. I was wrong, but still held out hope.
The halls are busy as people come and go from different departments. I know a few of the nurses and we say hello as we pass each other. When I arrive at the nursery window, I’m elated to see the babies in their hospital bassinets. The mix of blue and pink reminds me of the last time I was here when Eden was born.
When I was with Nick, I never thought about having another child. Somewhere deep in my mind I felt it’d be wrong and that I’d be moving on. I was never fair to Nick and our relationship. He was easy and convenient. He gave me so many missing pieces from my life and would’ve completed me if I had allowed him to. As I look back at that time in my life, I realize how selfish I was by stringing him along. I wouldn’t change the way he is with Noah, though, because Noah needed Nick more than I did.
I wave at Diane, the Labor & Delivery nurse working in the nursery room. She smiles and leaves the room, meeting me by the window.
“No flower deliveries today?” Diane was my nurse when I had Noah and we’ve maintained a friendship ever since. I give her a quick hug and turn back to the babies.
“I took the day off. Liam and I had the sonogram today.” I beam, recalling his expression when he found out we’re having a son.
“Is Liam excited?”
“He is. I know he hates himself for missing all of this with Noah. He’s trying to make up for everything even though it wasn’t his fault.”
A baby starts to cry, and that’s Diane’s cue to go back to work. “Let’s get coffee soon,” she says as she walks away. Once she’s back behind the glass, she picks up a little girl and holds her to her chest. I had hoped that this time around we’d have a girl, but a boy makes the numbers even. Peyton, Elle and Eden will dote on him, likely putting ribbons in his hair which is something I can’t wait to see.
“Baby stalking?”
I jump at the sound of Nick’s voice, but am happy to see him. “What are you doing here?” I ask, even though I know he’s working.
“Just checking on my littlest patients. You?”
“Sonogram day,” I say excitedly.
“And?” His eyes are bright, awaiting my answer. I look around and see a few of the other nurses watching me. I didn’t tell Diane what we’re having, but I’ll tell Nick. Just not here, not with how fast they’ll put our news on social media.
“Do you have time for lunch?”
“I do. Shall we enjoy the fine dining of the hospital cafeteria?” Nick asks as he holds his arm out for me.
“We shall,” I reply, taking his arm.
To people on the outside Nick and I shouldn’t be talking, let alone touching. They’ll gossip and start stupid rumors that Liam and I will ignore. For one, Nick is happily married to Aubrey whom I consider one of my best friends and two, Liam and Nick are friends… well, sort of. Best friends they’ll never be, but Liam knows he owes Nick for the years he raised Noah. Nick and Aubrey are a part of our family.
The cafeteria is almost empty since we just missed the lunchtime rush. Nick hands me a tray and we go through the line. I’m not a fan of the food, but I am fan of their desserts. I grab a piece of pie and head to the ice cream machine, adding some vanilla ice cream to the top.
“I said lunch,” Nick says as we meet at the register.
“I know, but I couldn’t pass up the apple pie and ice cream.”
Nick shakes his head as he pays for our lunches, greeting a few colleagues as we walk toward the window.
“So, how was your appointment?”
“It was amazing and Liam was… I don’t know, Nick, I can’t explain it. Like a kid in a candy store. His eyes were so expressive.”
“That’s great, Josie. Did you find out what you’re having?”
“Yes!” I squeal. “A boy,” I say low enough for only him to hear.
“Another football player?”
I shrug. “I don’t know; will you still be coaching in another six years or so?” We both laugh.
“I could be.” He winks, and it takes a minute before I catch on.
“No way! Is Aubrey…?” Nick is nodding before I can finish my question. I stand and reach over the table, giving him a hug. “Oh Nick, I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you. We’re happy, too.”
“This is such an amazing day and I have Aubrey to thank for it. If she hadn’t met Meredith, Liam and I wouldn’t be adopting her little boy,” I pause and think back to our appointment today. “She’s so disinterested in everything. She wore headphones and played on her phone during the sonogram. You know I understand why she did that, but she won’t even let me buy her clothes or anything.”
Nick reaches across the table and holds my hand. “Meredith is lucky to have you and Liam.”
I smile. “I don’t have much time to get everything ready though. She’s due in a couple of weeks.”
Nick laughs and puts his napkin on the table, having finished his sandwich. I look down at my pie, which is now swimming in ice cream soup. “Sounds like the ladies will be shopping soon and the guys will be painting a nursery.”
I beam and clap my hands. “I’ll make sure Liam knows you’ll help!”
“H ello?” I call out, dropping my keys on the table by the door. Josie hates that I leave my keys here, but I can’t seem to get it through my head that I need to walk down the hall and hang them on the board. I call out again, but there’s no answer. Josie called me earlier, asking if I’d come home. I’d been down at Xander’s gym, working out with him and just shooting the shit.
This isn’t the first time she’s called me and asked me to come home. We’ve been trying to conceive and her doctor has put us on a sex schedule. Aside from being with my girl, being told when I can have sex with her is getting annoying. It’s all about her body temperature and ovulation chart. I should have that chart memorized by now considering it hangs in our bathroom. I can feel it mocking the fact that I haven’t been able to knock her up yet every time I look in the mirror.
“Josie,” I call out, as I start climbing the stairs. I pull my shirt off and throw it over my shoulder before moving my hand to my belt buckle. As much as I love my girl, the lack of emotion there is between us when we’re together lately is really starting to bother me. I’ll never pass up a chance to be with Jojo, but our lives have become more about calculations and less about feelings.
Our bedroom is dark and much to my surprise she’s not laid out on the bed waiting. There’s a light coming from under the bathroom door and I immediately feel like a shit for assuming she needed me to come home for sex, not because she’s obviously sick. I knock on the door and twist the knob before she tells me to enter. We’re long past bathroom pleasantries. I’ve held her hair many times when she’s been throwing up.
This time, though, it’s different and I drop to my knees to hold my sobbing wife in my arms. She clutches my chest, her nails digging into my skin. I hold her tightly to me and cradle her head as her tears wet my chest.
“What’s wrong, Jojo?”
She doesn’t answer, just shakes her head and sobs harder. I scan the bathroom floor, looking for any signs that she’s sick or hurt, but all I see are the dozens of boxes and white sticks littering the floor of our master bath. I may be a guy, but I definitely know what a pregnancy test looks like and from the sounds coming from my wife, I’m willing to bet she’s not pregnant.
A string of profanities run rampant through my mind. I can’t say them out loud because it’ll make things worse. Her doctor said no stress, so my feelings really don’t factor into this mess. I’ve been tested, had to perform for a cup while a crap ass porno played, only for them to tell us that my sperm are strong. Josie went through her own battery of tests, all to come out normal. The diagnosis – it’ll happen. Apparently not today, judging by the way Josie is right now.
We stay on the bathroom floor for an hour or more. I can’t look at my watch or even pull my phone out of my back pocket to answer it. I refuse to let her go. Nothing is more important than her right now. Seeing her like this kills me. I don’t know what to do to fix this… to fix us. Trying to conceive a baby has consumed us, both physically and mentally. We need a break from this entire baby making crap so we can get back to us. The problem is I’m not going to be the one to suggest it. If I do, I’ll be accused of not wanting another child or not finding her attractive enough. Both couldn’t be farther from the truth. I just don’t want to see her like this anymore.
The day I found Josie like that was the day we decided to stop trying. That was three months ago. It was her decision, which she made after talking to her mom for hours. When she came to bed that night she asked me if I was willing to look into adoption. She had found so many different websites about adopting and within an hour we decided that adoption was for us, and we’d adopt toddlers and siblings if necessary. A newborn wasn’t a requirement for us; we just wanted to open our home to children who needed to be loved.
And now, in a few short weeks, we’re going to be parents to a newborn. I’ll be waking up at midnight and two a.m. to change diapers and rock my son back to sleep. I’m doing it all because I have to make up for lost time. Josie should’ve never had to take care of Noah by herself and even though the second time doesn’t make up for everything I’ve missed, it’s a start.
With the band’s mail under my arm, I walk through my quiet house and down my back stairs. Harrison and JD are in the office working. 4225 West has hit a rough patch. Our sales on our recent album have dropped dramatically and our manager says it’s because we aren’t in Los Angeles networking with the rest of the music industry. JD is all for moving back, especially since Jenna doesn’t have any ties other than us in Beaumont, but I can’t uproot Noah. He’s establishing himself here as an elite athlete. I also have a feeling that Harrison would forgo his position as our drummer if we decided to relocate. I know Katelyn has no desire to leave.
“Sup?” I say as I sit down at my desk. I’m running out of space in my basement and had to convert Katelyn’s old office to a space for the three of us. Our wives were all yelling us at respectively, with all the scrap pieces of paper we were leaving around the house. Or me yelling when I’d leave papers on the table that somehow ended up in the garbage. The last time it happened, I yelled and yelled and Josie stood there with her hands on her hips reminding me that my untouchable space was in the basement. When I started working down here, so did Harrison and JD. Now we have two long tables, one on each wall, a computer and notes taped everywhere.
They don’t answer me and I’m okay with that. We see each other every day and often at night. We’re a family. Our wives are best friends and our kids play together... well, Noah and Quinn do. Elle and Peyton entertain Eden when I’m not holding her.
I thought I’d be upset if we weren’t having a girl, but I’m not. It’s almost like I’m getting a second chance to raise a son, not that I’d change Noah, but sometimes I still question myself with him. And the fact that he’s close with Nick still gives me an uneasy feeling. I feel like I toe the line when it comes to punishment because I’m afraid that Noah will blurt out that he’s going to go live with Nick. I wouldn’t let him, but I’m not sure I could stop him.
I rummage through the mail and rip open the large manila envelope. It’s a series of images taken by some paparazzi; I shake my head as I flip through each one.
“How was L.A.?” I ask Harrison. He and Katelyn had taken the kids to his beach house for a week for spring break. I was jealous until now.
Harrison sighs, turning to face me. “Things are good. I saw Trixie and played a few sets for the house band.” My mouth drops open and he shrugs as if it’s no big deal that he went back to the bar that gave us our start. “What’s that?” he asks nodding to the pictures in my hand.
I swallow to push away the dryness in my throat. Laid out before me are images of Harrison and Katelyn. The headline is unfavorable, saying: Harrison James of 4225 West wanders. I know that’s the furthest thing from the truth, but the pictures tell a different story. While Katelyn watches the game, Harrison is watching the cheerleader in front of him. His eyes are dead center on her ass. One of the images shows him shrugging as Katelyn stares him down.
“Nice spread,” I say as I toss the images down onto the table much to Harrison’s displeasure. JD snickers behind him, causing Harrison to turn an ugly, embarrassing shade of red.
He shakes his head and covers the photos with a piece of paper. “Katelyn was so pissed but I couldn’t help but look when they’re shaking their asses in my face.”
“You look, but you don’t get caught,” JD adds because he’s the master of looking without detection.
Harrison cuffs him upside his head and glares at him. “Anyway, we need to discuss Metro.”
“Why?” I ask, sorting through the rest of our mail. Most of it is fan letters, in which one of us will respond. We take turns answering them, knowing how much it means to our fans when we reply personally. Each letter receives a signed photo from the three of us. Cheesy, I know, but it helps sales. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
“Trixie’s closing Metro. With the surge of online videos and social media, playing gigs to get noticed isn’t the thing anymore. Like I said, I played a couple sets, but most of the bands brought their laptops in and used electronic music as a backup. Trixie is losing money, the bar is run down, and I didn’t see one agent while I was there.”
Metro is the place where my grandfather was discovered, the place where Harrison and I developed as musicians, and the place where I met Sam. That place paved my way, and I almost gave up on music until Trixie called that fateful night and gave me the coveted “headline” spot. If she hadn’t, I would’ve come home and begged for forgiveness. That’s something I’ve never told Josie.
“When’s she closing?”
“Two months. She’s hoping to find a buyer before then, but no one wants to invest in a bar these days. It’s old, not the ‘hot spot’ anymore and in need of some serious repairs.”
“We should so something for her,” JD adds. I forget that he played there too. We have ties to Metro and owe Trixie a lot, but we’ve never thanked her. Hell, once we signed with Moreno Entertainment we never went back.
“There’s another thing you should know,” Harrison says, but this time his expression is grim.
My insides turn, preparing for more bad news. “What’s that?”
He clears his throat. “Some journalist named Calista Jones is writing a tell-all about you. Somehow she got a copy of Sam’s diaries and according to the word on the street, a few of your ‘friends’ added some colorful commentary.”
“What?” my voice breaks and my heart beat increases. This is the last thing that I need, and definitely the last thing that Josie needs. We’re in a good place and with the baby coming; the added drama will just be too much stress for her.
Harrison hands me his phone and I read through an excerpt of this novel. Everything that I don’t want to remember about my past is about to come out and there won’t be anything I can do about it. Sure, I can take to social media and ask people not to buy it, but I know that they will, even though they’ll tell me they won’t. It’s in our nature to know all the juicy gossip of Hollywood.
“Well, this is fucking great.” I mutter as I read what Harrison has shown me. She talks about the tattoo across my chest and the day Josie called the office and left me a message. But it’s the words about the time that Sam and I hooked up in my tour bus that really jars me. The date is written there and for the first time, I recognize it as our anniversary... mine and Josie’s. Dead doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel inside right now.
The guys don’t have anything to say. I don’t blame them. I brought Sam into our lives, and aside from JD, she did everything she could to ruin us and we’re pretty sure she set Alicia up to drug Harrison.
“We should get to work,” I say without any conviction whatsoever. My mind should be on the joyous news I want to share, but thoughts of my past plague me. I’ll have to tell Josie about this book and pray that she doesn’t want to read it. Nothing good can come from a book written by a journalist… one that I don’t ever remember meeting.
“What are we working on?” JD asks as I shake my head.
“I have no idea,” I say completely lost for yet another time in my life. I’m starting to think that my career is over because I’ll be spending the rest of my days trying to make up for everything I did in the past to my wife. She’s not going to understand. Hell, I don’t even understand.
