Текст книги "An Accidental Affair"

Автор книги: Heather Boyd

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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

It might be wishful thinking on his part, but Merrick was almost certain Arabella sought to delay his departure and keep him at Winslette until approaching nightfall made traveling impossible. He poked his head inside a milking shed, noting the care and attention made to keep the stalls clean, and faced Arabella again. She gestured to the next structure and moved in that direction.

Their progress was steadily leading him far away from the house and his waiting carriage. Not that he minded spending even more hours in her company. Speaking with an intelligent woman who never once tossed out lures or flirtations was something of a rarity. And she’d been through a lot in the last days. If she felt safe in his company for the time being, he would be a fool to rush away from her if he was doing some good.

Back at the house, Holland would be fretting by now. They’d sent word to their married half sister to expect them tonight at her inn, and Holland simply hated letting anyone down. However, Merrick found the position he was in quite amusing. When he’d decided to return Arabella home, Holland had insisted on coming to act as a chaperone of sorts and to make good on a promise to their sister. Since Arabella had never once made allusions to intimacies between them, a chaperone hadn’t been necessary.

She was nervous though, and he suspected he knew the reason.

Farnsworth’s behavior still preyed on her mind.

Unfortunately, it preyed on his too. That Farnsworth had come to Wiltshire from London in search of Arabella was no small matter. He might have used the excuse of trespass to trounce the man, but there was always the possibility that he might return once he was gone. When she was easy again he’d return to London and make sure Farnsworth understood that he was not to contact Arabella except to discuss her pension, and then only through her solicitor. She was to be free of him or Merrick would finish their fight.

As the last building inspection was concluded, Arabella scanned the horizon. Ahead, he thought he detected what looked to be a small stream, and across from there a ruin of some sort. He could see nowhere to cross without getting wet, so he concluded his inspection might be over for the day.

Arabella noticed the direction of his gaze. “The ruins were once an old manor house, fallen into disuse long ago. There is a road, barely more than a deer track now, I suppose, leading to another roadway to the south. My late husband told me the house was quite unsafe and forbid anyone to go venturing there.”

“Well, if it’s forbidden, we will stay away.” He grinned. “Are there fish to be caught on the property?”

Arabella smiled too. “Why, yes. I believe there are. Do you enjoy the sport?”

“Not since I was a boy.” He smiled to himself. It was nice his company was wanted so badly that a woman seized on any topic of conversation to keep his interest. “Will you show me?”

Her blush returned. “Of course.”

Merrick could get used to seeing blushes every hour. Arabella wore them so charmingly. The grass was thick and clumped in this part of the property and he caught Arabella’s elbow to steady her as they walked to the stream. In closer proximity, he couldn’t help but notice that the exertion of the inspection was taking a toll on her stamina. The light sheen of perspiration on her forehead reminded him that a pause in their meanderings might be warranted. When the stream came into view, he directed her to the shade of a large tree near the water’s edge and settled her there.

He took a place himself a short distance away. “What is it you want, my dear, and do not say I must be acquainted with every blade of grass I have purchased.”

Instead of answering immediately, she hugged her knees to her chest. The posture reminded him that just a few nights ago she’d been frightened out of her wits by a man she trusted as a brother. She had placed her security in his lap and he would do well not to rush her to the confession he’d already guessed.

She was still afraid. Perhaps mortally. She might always have this fear. It might be that only when she was distracted did she not imagine Farnsworth’s assault.

Merrick plucked a blade of grass and ran it though his fingertips. “He has no right to come back. I made that very plain to him.”

“I believe you, but what if he guesses I was with you the entire time? He might make trouble for you. Tarnish your reputation. It would be very easy to have one of your servants confirm that you lied to him about my location these past days.”

She was worried about his reputation? Merrick had not thought it possible to admire her more, but he did. She was remarkable. “None of my servants would dare.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Holland would dismiss them immediately if they said one word that implicated him in scandal. His half brother had adopted the Ford motto of family first for his own. He’d rather not explain the real reasons for Holland’s loyalty or the others as yet. She’d be rather shocked that she’d been in the company of several bastard brothers these past days. “Because I can.”

“And if Farnsworth deduced on his own and makes trouble for us both?”

He shifted on the ground to face her. “Grayling should have the truth told to him so he is not surprised and can support you. Grayling will understand and ensure your reputation remains unblemished. The worst Farnsworth can say against me is nothing I haven’t heard before. I’ll survive it.”

She laid her head on her knees and stared into space. “I want to be here, but I fear what Farnsworth might do if he comes again.”

Merrick did not want to leave her in such a state, but it was the right thing to do. Every moment he spent alone in her company, regardless of their distance, put her reputation as a respectable lady in jeopardy. Arabella appeared largely unconcerned about that, he noticed. Yet Merrick couldn’t be. He had always held Arabella in the highest esteem, the model for all other women’s behavior. To imagine her brought low by false accusations pained him. Perhaps she was too caught up in her own concerns to notice the implied impropriety of them being together.

He’d have to watch out for both of them. “Speaking of Grayling, have you considered moving to Stanton Harold Hall as a guest until the matter is behind you? You may feel more secure there. His daughters and wife could be a welcome distraction to you and he could ensure Farnsworth stays away. I promise you the house will remain yours for as long as you wish, despite any absence.”

“I don’t wish to impose.”

Merrick pursed his lips. “You say that quite often. Why? I would not offer if I had any hesitations about such a suggestion.”

“Habit, I suppose.” She sighed softly and stretched out her legs before her. “When I was a little girl, my parents impressed on me the need to be compliant, and my husband was of the same mind. I never argued with any of their decisions and that made them happier.”

Merrick frowned at her words. Such a repression of her desires was unnatural. One of the Ford rules came to mind: always repay in kind. From Grayling, he knew she had brought the man’s wife into his orbit and sought to make a match of them. Surely they should not begrudge her aid now? “Friends expect to be imposed upon or they are not really friends at all, are they? It is a balance. Something given, something gained.”

A curious expression crossed her face and she peered at him. “You do not follow your own rules it seems.”

“How so?”

“I cannot imagine what you gain by your assistance to me. You have gone above and beyond the bounds of friendship to aid me. We were not very well acquainted in the beginning, were we?”

“I suppose I imagine I know you better than I actually do. Grayling speaks of you a great deal. I always thought you two would make a match, but you had paired him with someone else. That surprised me.” He grinned. “As for what I gained, my legs have gained the exercise of a walking hither and yon today, and I had the pleasure of throwing Farnsworth out on his backside. Both very pleasant activities, I assure you.”

“That is not at all the same, and you know it. You brought me into your home, concealed my whereabouts from everyone, including your family and mine, and returned me to the property you’d purchased just because you cannot imagine me not living here. You give too much.”

Damn. She would not let the matter drop. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Now was not the time for a glib answer to appease her conscience. He could tell her some of what influenced him and see how she might view his ideals. “Women are largely at a disadvantage in our society. It is a circumstance that has disappointed me many times in the past. They are expected to be silent when mistreated and have no grounds to complain or receive compensation for cruel use. It is wrong, Arabella.”

“I don’t understand.” She inched closer to him. “What wrongs have you witnessed?”

“Far too many and too close to home.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. He wanted to tell her the truth. To explain why her suffering affected him so strongly and yet still not tell her every secret. He could tell her of his father, though. What that man had done likely still circulated as gossip about his family, so she might have heard the whispers. It would be a small thing to confirm what she possibly knew already. “My father was not one to deny himself life’s pleasures. He never once counted the cost of his actions, and many lives were ruined as a result of his demands.”

Her brow furrowed. Perhaps not all of his father’s misdeeds were widely circulated and in this case had not reached her ears.

“Go on.”

He swallowed the lump that formed at the base of his throat. He’d started down this path, to explain a bit of himself, so by rights he ought to keep to his decision and hope he didn’t shock her completely. “To be blunt, my father sired a number of children outside marriage, most to servants in his employ or in the great houses he visited. My mother knew and the humiliation was more than she could bear. My last memory of them together is my father backhanding my mother for speaking against him and his many disgraces.”

Her skin paled and she shivered. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “’Tis nothing to be done about it now. They are alive in the world and made poorer by his choices.”

“They?”

Merrick smiled grimly, staring out at the slow-moving water. “My half brothers and sisters. I am sorry to say there are rather a lot of them.”

Her gasp struck him like a blow. “Holland?”

Merrick nodded slowly, glancing at her for the signs of shock he expected. When none appeared on her face, he pressed on. “He was the first I grew aware of when I was a young man and suffering through an education I didn’t want at Newberry Park. Holland worked at a tavern I frequented and often he was the one to put me on my horse and send me home when I was too deep in my cups and growing quarrelsome. I liked him very much then. He did not bow and scrape as many men did to those of Newberry. One day I came upon him surrounded and outnumbered, bloody and beaten but still not cowed. I offered my fists and then offered him a better position as my valet. My grandfather and particularly my aunt were furious when I brought Holland home to Newberry and it was only then I discovered exactly who he was to me. My disagreements with the Fords began then.”

“What of Holland’s mother?”

“You know, I’ve never heard Holland speak her name, but she lives, I’m sure of it. I have pieced together what I think happened. She lived in a great house, probably a servant. But she couldn’t keep him with her and had to give him up. It is a situation that has occurred many times over.”

“It is kind of you to employ him as you do.”

“Holland enjoys managing me and ensures our siblings are fed, employed usefully, and have a roof over their heads.”

“How many?”

“A dozen or more. Holland keeps track of them.” He sighed at the folly of revealing this side of his personal life. “Almost every servant in my London home is a relation, every man on the carriage that brought you here also. I take care of them and they take care of me. They will say not one word of this excursion to anyone for fear of Holland’s wrath. My half brother will brook no disobedience from them. He knows their situation is tenuous.”

He continued, knowing revealing so much would likely ruin everything but feeling lighter for the unburdening. He tossed aside the blade of grass he’d been running through his fingers while he talked. “My point is that not everyone has someone to watch out for their welfare and not every debt needs to be repaid immediately. I have had the pleasure of your company, a situation that would never have presented itself at any other time. So you see, without knowing it, you have already held up your side of our tentative friendship.”

“It is very good what you do. Most lords would not do so much.” Arabella plucked a blade of grass and handed it to him to replace the one he’d mangled. “Why do they believe their situation is tenuous?”

“Because it is true. My father sired only one legitimate son, and I have not married as yet to produce the required heir. The next in line is a cousin, a pious prig who would sooner brand them all vile creatures to be cast out onto the street than spend the shillings required to feed even one.”

Her eyes widened. “You would marry just for them?”

“Not just for them. I did have other hopes when I wed.”

A rosy blush spread over her cheeks and her neck too, yet relief filled him. She did not appear too shocked. He’d always intended to be honest with his wife about his half brothers and sisters, so gaining Arabella’s understanding went a long way to proving he’d made the right decision to tell the woman he married too.

“You’re fond on your siblings, despite their origins?”

Merrick supposed she was right. “Family first.”

“That is not at all a bad thing.” She shifted closer, tucking her knees beneath her and giving him all her attention. “Having none I care for now means I’m made more aware of my lack.”

Merrick glanced across the stream to hide the sadness that filled him. It was not easy to ignore that Farnsworth’s actions had revealed just how alone Arabella was in the world. Leaving would be difficult. He lifted his eyes to the horizon with a heavy heart. Storm clouds had gathered to the west of the estate. His brothers were going to get wet on their way home. Yet if he didn’t go now, he feared he might never walk away from her. His hopes for his life would go unfulfilled if he stayed.

He stood and dusted off his trousers, then held his hand out to Arabella. “We’d best be on our way.”

He helped her up and brought her back into the field, holding her arm as they walked over difficult terrain, releasing her when their way was free of impediment. They had not traveled very far when he spotted Holland and his coachman, Jimmy, in the distance, striding toward them in a hurry. “Ah, a family reunion. I wonder what the fuss is about now.”

Arabella chuckled. “Oh, dear. Did they think your virtue in danger?”

“No. I’m very sure they are attempting to protect yours.” He laughed too as his good mood returned. He had been alone with Arabella and had thought very little of getting beneath her skirts. It was not the first time Arabella had lured him to speak his mind rather than contemplate the delights of her body. Despite her troubles and the delicate topic he’d broached, he’d never had a more enjoyable day. If he told Holland that she knew all their secrets now, the man would likely fall over in a faint and never wake.

She stopped suddenly. “Will you dine with me this evening?”

“If I stay that long I’ll have no chance of returning to London as expected.”

“You had other plans for the journey home too, didn’t you? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t delay you.” Her throat moved as she swallowed, proving her disappointment was acute.

“My plan had no date affixed to it.” He smiled. “My half sister is an agreeable creature and will understand the delay was for a good cause.”

“You have a sister?”

“Several. The one I am to meet runs the Castle Inn at Fox Hill with her husband. I often break my journey there when I come to Wiltshire. She had a babe recently and Holland wants to see the lad and another one residing close by before we return to Town. They can wait a day more.”

Her gaze turned to the building storm clouds. “If you’re sure it’s not a bother I’d appreciate it if you would stay for the night. There is ample room for everyone and I should not like your brothers to get soaked before half a mile is passed.”

Merrick threw his head back and laughed. “Now that is a first. Most women invite me to stay for anything but my ugly brother’s benefit.”

A brilliant blush stained her cheeks and he caught her arm and steered her toward the fast approach of Holland and Jimmy. Did she blush when men shared her bed? He frowned at that idea. Arabella had been a widow for some time, yet he’d never heard of her taking a lover. She cast no lures that he could detect. He pushed the idea from his mind firmly. It was better to be friends than lovers. Friendship lasted far longer than the sudden rush of lust.

“Jimmy, we seem to be staying the night. Have the carriage and team put away and the men dispersed where they will fit. Make sure they help out where they can. No sense being idle if there is work begging to be done.”

Holland glanced between himself and Arabella, his expression curious and wary. “My lord, this is unexpected. What about your plans?”

“It is unexpected, isn’t it? Ease your mind, Holland. My plans can wait. Lady Farnsworth would feel more secure if Lord Farnsworth found the place still occupied by my servants and myself should he return tonight. I would not like to disappoint her by refusing her hospitality.”

Holland didn’t appear happy about it but eventually nodded. “Of course. I would not be easy to have him return either.”

When Holland hurried back to the house, Arabella swatted Merrick’s arm. “You beast. You enjoyed tormenting him.”

He studied his brother’s fast retreat. “I’ll be suitably lectured for it later.”

“What could he have to say about the matter?”

“He’s concerned for you.”

“I’m in no danger with you.”

“Quite the contrary.” He faced her so he could judge her reaction. “Have you even thought your invitation through properly? While we were in London, I was confident I could remove you from my house undetected, but here in the country our togetherness will not be so easily overlooked. People will assume there is something between us if I stay. We have already been too long alone together as it is.”

Her tongue darted out and licked her lips. A distinctly nervous gesture that made his pulse race. “You’ve never…” She waved her free hand about as she sought the right word to describe his lack of seduction.

“Oh, I’ve been interested, but you would surely be the poorer for it.” Merrick was glad they had some distance to walk before they reached the house again and he curled her arm about his and drew her in that direction. “After your recent set of troubles, I wouldn’t be surprised that you’d want nothing to do with men again. You’ve been very clear that you oppose marriage.”

“I don’t exactly oppose marriage. I just never want to have to make another because I’ve no choice.” Her free hand clenched at her waist. “I’d always thought of Farnsworth as a brother. Not a particularly close one, though, so I was shocked that he thought to sell me like he would cattle.” She tightened her grip on his arm. “Can we talk of something else?”

“Anything you like.”

Yet silence fell between them. As they drew closer to the house, Arabella’s steps slowed. She kept sneaking glances at him until he couldn’t stand it. “What?”

She paused beneath a tall tree and faced him. “I have a favor to ask.”

“Name it.”

“When I close my eyes, I see Farnsworth’s face right before he would have hit me again. I would like not to see that image anymore.”

“I don’t imagine that’s very pleasant.”

“Will you kiss me again?”

Merrick held himself very, very still as his pulse bolted. “Ah, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Please. I would like something pleasant to think about at night.”

The plea in her eyes broke him. Perhaps a kiss would take her terror away quicker than time and distance would. A glance around them confirmed they were alone and could not be seen from the house. He could kiss her and no one would be any the wiser.

He didn’t want to say no, so before he reasoned out the whys of not doing so, he leaned toward her and brushed his lips across hers. He drew back quickly when Arabella froze in place. “I’m sorry.”

 Her brow furrowed. “For what?”

“I startled you.”

Her cheeks brightened with hot color. “No. It was not that at all.”

“What then?”

“I don’t know.” Her lips pressed together briefly. “Would you kiss me again and I will try to remain still?”

“Arabella, another kiss may not change anything.”

“Perhaps not, but please, Merrick. I’d rather think of you.”

She gave so much more than she realized. Merrick tried again, more slowly this time. The first brush of lips was gentle and soft. A temptation to ease her mind. The second kiss was firmer. He cupped her head, eagerly ready to tangle tongues with her. However, her lips remained closed as if she were not used to kisses at all.

Slowly, Merrick sought her waist with his free hand and drew her against him. She sighed as a third kiss began and finally kissed him back the way he wanted. Her hands touched his chest as he tasted her with his tongue. The sweet suction of their lips sent his pulse out of control, and his cock thickened and strained immediately against the placket of his trousers. There was more, so much more, passion to come between them, but in everything to do with Arabella, he hesitated. He wanted her so badly and did not want to make a mistake. He drew back reluctantly with one last soft kiss and waited for her reaction.

Arabella opened her eyes slowly. Her cheeks flamed to a vivid pink, so bright he had to run his fingertip across the smooth surface to test how warm they were.

“Oh my.” She slapped her hands over her blushing cheeks and a throaty laugh burst from her lips. “I see now why every woman who’s ever spoken of you was mad for your company.”

There was his reputation, come to remind her of his debauched past. He bit back his disappointment that she listened to gossip and looked away. “I have my uses.”

After a moment, her arm slid back through his and they continued their walk toward the house with her holding to him firmly. Her eyes fluttered shut as she walked, an unwise decision on uneven ground, and her lips pressed together tightly.

Although intrigued by her reaction to such a simple kiss, he waited till she opened her eyes again before asking what he most wanted to know. “Is Farnsworth gone from your memory?”

“Who?” She faced him and her smile was sweet and intimate. “After such a kiss I am capable of very little recall. It’s a wonder my legs can hold me up. Do you kiss all women like that?”

He’d used no more skill with Arabella than anyone else, but it was different kissing her. Unique and undeniably tender. An idea formed in his mind, but he pushed it away as a foolish wish brought on by an even more foolish desire that she might never belong to anyone but him and only smiled.