Текст книги "Alien in the Family"

Автор книги: Gini Koch

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 23 (всего у книги 32 страниц)

CHAPTER 57

IFELT A GENTLE JOLT. Martini ended our kiss. “You actually thought I’d choose them over you?”

“You’re a protector. Good of the many and all that.”

“Not over you. Never again—no one and nothing else over you—you understand?”

I nodded and again managed not to cry. Martini shifted me to his hip, and we took a look around. ACE landed us back pretty much where we’d been. All of Animal Planet was still with us, which made sense since their ships were here.

Kitty, ACE must go back to Paul. If ACE stays any longer with Kitty, ACE will destabilize.

I understand. ACE? Thank you again. For everything.

Our world to protect and love.

Yes. I looked up at Martini. “Jeff, we need to get to Paul.”

Gower wasn’t that far away from us. He looked crappy. Reader helped him over. “Hope he can handle the transfer back.”

“I can,” Gower said. He put out his hand and I took it. The heavy-duty electric charge went through me and finally stopped. I leaned my head against Martini’s shoulder until the dizziness and nausea passed.

Gower straightened up. I saw his body repair itself even faster than A-C normal. “ACE doesn’t like you hurt?”

“Nope. Thankfully.” Gower looked around. “We need to get everybody healed.”

“Let’s see if telecommunications is back or if we still have reason to curse Bitch Leader and her gang.” My purse was nearby, but Martini pulled his phone out so I didn’t have to get out of his arms. I was more than okay with this.

“I have a dial tone.” Martini looked around. “We need to verify that all bases are still secured.” He was back to full Commander Mode. Other phones came out, and it was business as usual.

Martini dialed. “Dad? Yes, we’re all still alive. Yes, all the nice people from the A-C solar system, too. Yes, they’re dead. Your father, too,” he added quietly. “Huh? Yeah, the Poofs, ah, ate him.” Martini’s eyebrow rose. “Okay, yeah, we all agreed with their choice. Yeah, no loss at all, believe me. Kitty installed Alexander as the new king. Yes, we were on the home world. No, we didn’t want to stay. Long story.”

He sighed. “Yes, I brought it back with me,” he muttered. “I’ll give it to you when we see you. What? What do you mean it’s mine now? I don’t want it!” Martini was quiet, but the look on his face said he was losing whatever argument he was having with Alfred.

“Yes, of course I’ll take care of it,” he said finally, in a tone of total resignation. “Kitty has one, too. So do some of the others. Look, can we talk about this later? What do you mean it’s important? I think the safety of our people and our bases is more important. Fine, fine, look, really, is everyone in Vegas okay? Uncle Richard? Kitty’s family? Good. How about the kids? Good. Okay, we’ll clean up here, be back there sometime in the next few hours. What do you mean you’ll all be up? It’s the middle of the night! In fact, it’s heading toward dawn. What? Are you kidding me? Okay, fine, fine. Go back to the craps table, so sorry to bother you with all that end of the world stuff. Yes, love you, too.”

He closed his phone. “Well, that was . . . odd.”

“Is your dad okay that his father got . . . eaten?”

“Yep.” Martini shook his head. “Apparently Leonidas wasn’t making nice and covering up in regard to the Poofs. If the Poofs eat anyone in the royal family, it’s because they’ve made a determination a better ruler’s at hand, just like he said. So, if you’re eaten, you deserved it.”

“Wow. That’s a lot of power given to fluffy bundles of fur.”

“Tell me about it.” Martini eyed Poofikins, who’d crawled up onto my shoulder. “You sure you want to keep them?”

“The Poofs rock. They ate Adolphus, not you, me, Alexander, or Renata.”

“Good point.”

“How’s everyone else?”

“Oh, just fine. They’re all at the craps tables. Apparently your Nana Sadie is a craps queen and has been showing off her technique. The few who aren’t playing craps are either at the blackjack tables or, God help us, in the baccarat room.”

“Who’s in the baccarat room?” Kevin and Chuckie both started to snort laughter. “Oh, no. You’re kidding me. My mom’s playing baccarat?”

“Gotta figure,” Kevin said with a grin. “We call her Jane Bond at the office.” I learned new things about my mother every day. “By the way, Jeff, thanks again.”

“For what?” Martini asked.

“For getting my wife and kids stashed with the others in Florida. I just talked to her—the kids are all having a blast, but she was glad to be there to give Gladys a hand.”

“You’re part of the team, you get the same security,” Martini said with a shrug.

“Never stop appreciating it.”

I could see the Animal Planet folks were getting ready to leave. “Jeff, need down for a minute.” He released me slowly. I found my shoes and grabbed my purse. There, properly dressed again.

Felicia was hurt, but she was going to be okay. Willem and Wrolph were both injured as well but also seemed likely to recover. Wrolph was being tended to by Claudia again, and I got the distinct impression he had a crush on her, if his tail wagging when she looked at him was indicative.

Neeraj was looking beaten up, but not too terrible. The rest of the Animal Planet folks were similar.

“You all leaving now?” I tried not to sound disappointed and failed.

Queen Renata nodded. “We have done what we came to do, in that sense. You have many things to get back to.”

“Yeah, uh, that’s sort of why . . . hang on a second.” I stepped off a bit and dug out my cell phone. “Mom? How’s the baccarat room?”

“Fine. I’m winning. This is a bad time.”

“I’m alive. We saved the world.”

“Good. Need to concentrate.” Nice to see where her priorities truly were.

“Mom, did you ever get a hold of Amy, Sheila, and Caroline for me?”

She heaved a sigh. “Yes. Sheila was flattered that you wanted her to be in your wedding, but what with the delay in your making any kind of decision, she’s had time to find out she’s expecting number four and would rather die than try to shove into a bridesmaid dress, even though she’s probably only barely showing. They can’t come, either, expenses. And her husband would be insulted if we offered to pay.”

“Okay.” I couldn’t be hurt—reality was what it was. “How about Amy?”

“Can’t come now, can’t come in six weeks. Talked to her right before telecommunications went down worldwide. She was assigned a huge case because, let me mention, she wasn’t able to say when exactly she needed to come to the States until it was too late. She can’t leave for the next few months. Career-making kind of thing.” Amy was a corporate lawyer working in Paris for one of the huge conglomerates. The only stuff she did was career-making, so again, not a surprise. “She’s sending you an overwhelmingly too generous gift to make up for it.”

“Okay. That’ll be nice. Caroline?” I held out no expectations.

“Caroline could have come in six weeks because she apparently knows you well enough to have arranged for a week off any time one to four months from now.”

“Wow.” Cool. I had three bridesmaids. “That’s a perk.”

“Well, the senator loves her. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to get that kind of consideration. However, at this moment she’s in Paraguay with a full senatorial team on a fact-finding mission, and even if they’d let her leave, by the time she could get here, it would all be over.”

“Ah.” Okay. Back to two bridesmaids. “Such is life. What facts are they finding?”

“It’s need to know, and you definitely don’t.” Mom’s tone shifted. “Kitten, are you really okay?”

“I think so. I’ll know in a few minutes. Go back to the baccarat, Missus Bond.”

“Hilarious. Love you. See you soon, I hope.”

“Yeah. Love you, too.” As I hung up, Reader ran over to me.

“Girlfriend, Jeff’s asked Kevin to be in the wedding party, too. I tried to shut him up, but he was clueless. I’m amazed he hasn’t asked Reynolds at the rate he’s going. You want me to get him to retract?”

“Hopefully not.” I went back to the Animal Planet girls. Reader came with me. I grabbed Jareen. “This request is going to make me sound like the most friendless soul in two solar systems. I have a lot of friends. Most of them don’t know what I do or who I hang with. My two best girlfriends from high school and my best girlfriend from college can’t come to my wedding for a variety of human real-life issues. My other two best girlfriends are already in my wedding,” I pointed to Lorraine and Claudia.

“But Jeff’s got, at last count, six guys standing up with him. I’ll understand if you don’t want to, or if you want to just get home and out of our boondocks part of the universe, but . . . I’d really like it if you’d be my maid or matron of honor. Maid is if you’re single, matron is if you’re married.”

Jareen cocked her head. “But he’s your best friend.” She pointed to Reader.

“Yeah, he is. But on Earth, he’s a guy so he stands on the guy side. He’ll be up there, but with the other men. Same with Chuckie. Can’t ask him since he’s a guy.”

“The person of honor?”

I shrugged. “Soul sisters are hard to come by.”

She grinned. “I would love to. Neeraj would be better off if we didn’t travel for a few days anyway.”

I hugged her. “Thanks. No one I’d rather have up there with me than a Giant Lizard.”

“I look forward to seeing how the Naked Apes join together. I am a matron. Neeraj and I have been mated for a hundred years.”

“Wow, really? You look like, twenty-five. In lizard years, I mean.”

She grinned again. “We live a long time. In lifespan comparison, I am about your age.”

“Works for me.” I moved off to Queen Renata, Felicia, and Wahoa. “This will sound like—”

Wahoa put her paw up. “We Major Doggies have really good hearing, Friendless Naked Ape. Remember?” She grinned as only a dog could. “Dogs are supposedly man’s best friend on this planet, but I only get to be a bridesmaid?”

I laughed. “Had to go with the soul sister.”

Claudia snorted. “We’ve known her longer, and we’re only at bridesmaid rank.” She grinned at me. “We know it’s because you couldn’t figure out which one of us to ask without hurting the other’s feelings.”

“How did you know that?” Reader coughed. “Oh.” Duh. Reader was pretty much taking care of everything. A suspicion tickled, but I let it pass for now. “Felicia, will you be up to it?”

She nodded. “Your doctors are very good.” Lorraine had been working on her. “I would be honored. All Naked Apes need a good Cat Person around.”

“Renata?”

She smiled at me. “I am honored to be a part of this. Besides, I’m on the Giant Lizard vessel.”

“What do we wear?” Felicia asked.

“Ummm . . . no idea whatsoever.”

Reader coughed. “Handled. Trust me. Or will be.”

“You’re just Mister Helpy Helper, aren’t you, James?”

He flashed the cover-boy grin. I noted it worked on all the females, even Queen Renata. Figured he knew that and used the power for good. “Babe, let’s just say that someone has to take care of things and leave it at that.”

Martini came over. “We have medical teams on the way, should be here momentarily. We’ve gone too long without full medical on some of the injured.”

“Are we losing someone?” My stomach clenched.

“Me, to pain, agony, and boredom,” Tim called out.

“Me, too,” Jerry said. “The rest of the guys are complaining that they’re not in the wedding party, Jeff.”

Martini opened his mouth.

“NO!” Wow, Reader and I were now doing the unison thing.

Martini snapped his mouth shut.

“Sorry, guys. The only way that would work is for you to draw lots for which two of you were putting on a bridesmaid’s dress. I’m out of females I want up there with me.” I thought about it. “Well, I could add on one more.”

“Great!” Martini said.

“One, Jeff. Only one.”

“Great!” He looked really guilty.

“Jeff . . . who did you already ask?”

He mumbled something.

“Come again, can’t hear you.”

“Alexander.”

I let that one sit on the air. “Um . . . how?”

Martini looked hugely guilty again. I tapped my foot. He heaved a sigh. “I asked ACE to ask him. He said yes. He’s really excited about it.” He looked guilty and embarrassed. “I just want it to be . . . special.”

“And huge. Fine.” I thought about it. “He just became king because his great-uncle was Poof Chow. The solar system’s in disarray. We’re getting married really soon. How the hell can he come?”

Martini shrugged. “No idea, but he said he could.”

Chuckie joined us. “It’ll be fine. From what Leonidas told me, he’s been waiting for this day.”

“You two weren’t chatting all that long.”

“He implanted the information.”

“What?”

“It’s something many of us are able to do,” Martini said quietly. I’d known Terry had put an implant into Martini, of course. To find me, as it had turned out. And I’d also known he’d passed that implant along to me. It just hadn’t occurred to me that other A-Cs could do it as well.

“Oh. They don’t hurt,” I added, because Martini was looking the way he always did whenever the implant subject came up, which was guilty and ashamed. “And they’re useful.”

“Yes, they are,” Chuckie agreed.

“You didn’t pass out.” I had, when Martini had put Terri’s implant into me.

Chuckie shrugged. “I think it’s different when you’re forewarned. I felt a little woozy, but it wasn’t an issue. And, I have a clear understanding of the political situation in the entire Alpha Centauri solar system. Or,” he added with a grin, “I have the view Leonidas wants me to have.”

“He is a politician,” Martini said. “You sure you can trust anything he told you?”

“Most of it correlates to what we’ve been told already. I’ll confirm the rest with the Planetary Council. I assume they’re staying for the wedding?”

“Yeah, because—”

“You’re out of bridesmaid options, and they all know what’s going on,” Chuckie finished for me.

“Right as always!” I’d said that too cheerfully, if Martini’s low growl was any indication. “But I need one more,” I added quickly, before the growling got louder. “Be right back. Behave,” I added to Martini as I raced off. Hey, I’d had enough fighting for one night.

I looked around, found her, and trotted over. “Serene, you willing to be one of my bridesmaids?”

She looked shocked out of her mind and pleased beyond belief. “Really? You really want me? After all the . . . stuff . . . from six months ago?”

“You were drugged. Jeff was too, and I still want him. So, yeah. I didn’t ask before because I had no idea Jeff was going insane with the groomsmen numbers.” I looked at Brian, whose head was in her lap. He was still hurt, but he looked as though he might pull through. “Bri, I don’t care if Jeff begs you. Unless James or I say yes, you are to say no if he asks you to be a groomsman. Oh, and stop playing dead.”

“Got it.” He grinned. “I just like how Serene takes care of me.”

She giggled. “I like it. And, yes, Kitty, thank you so much for asking me!”

“Thank you so much for saying yes. Oh, and, I’d like you to join Airborne, while I’m thinking about it.”

“Why? I’m a scientist.”

“You’re an explosives expert and the only A-C capable of seeing through both shapeshifters and imageers with an overlay on. I call those vitally strategic skills we need at the highest levels. You can fool around in the lab on the off days.”

“You ever stop with the hiring?” Reader asked.

“You find the talent, you grab the talent before the competition does.”

“Right. Reminds me, we need a good story for your family.”

“Ugh. Let’s get everyone healed up or at least headed that way first.” An impressive number of Dazzlers were appearing out of nowhere. They fanned out and started doing very fast things. Gurneys appeared. All my pilots were loaded onto them, with much whining and complaining. Tim and Christopher were also gurneyed up with a lot more whining and complaining.

Tito was in great shape and having a field day. He’d already been taking care of the flyboys and was trotting around explaining injuries and symptoms.

Animal Planet got gurneys, too. “What are we going to do about the ships?”

Chuckie sauntered over. “Already handled. If you folks would be so good as to cloak them again, the C.I.A. will ensure no one comes by to disturb them.”

“Just to put tracking devices on them?” Neeraj asked.

Chuckie smiled. “Of course not.”

Jareen nodded “Because they’re already on.”

Chuckie shrugged. “It’s a living.”

I heard some bellowing. Martini was being forced onto a gurney. “Excuse me.” I trotted over. “Jeff, stop it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me!”

“Claudia had to harpoon you. I’m sure Kyrellis at least cracked some of your ribs. If what we’re expecting is coming, wouldn’t it be nice to go into isolation now, so that, you know, you’re awake, alive, and functioning?”

“But I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’ll keep James with me, okay? Or the girls. I have to find a dress. Trust me, I’ll be busy.” The panic about the dress hit again.

He caught it, of course. Strangely enough, it calmed him down. “Okay. You’ll be okay?”

“Yes. Does Harlie go into the isolation tank with you?”

“No. Out of the pocket, take care of Kitty.”

Harlie crawled out, rubbed up against Martini’s neck and chin, purring like mad, then jumped to me and hopped into my purse.

Martini pulled me to him and kissed me. “You be good.”

“I’ll do my best, Jeff.”

He stroked my face. “I wanted to go back and take a bath.”

I laughed. “If we’re really getting married in about a day and a half, then you’ll have to wait anyway.”

He kissed me again. I was ready to let him take me here in front of everyone. Truly, the man was the god of kissing.

Martini pulled away slowly and looked quite pleased with himself. “I always want to make you feel like that.”

“I’ll make sure it’s in the wedding vows.”

CHAPTER 58

THE ALIEN SPACESHIPS WERE CLOAKED and being guarded by a lot of buff guys in dark camouflage fatigues. The rest of our equipment was back in Area 51, and the injured were at the Science Center, whose personnel had returned from wherever they’d gone for lockdown. Martini was in isolation with Security around him, just in case.

I wasn’t with him for a variety of reasons. Isolation meant isolated, of course, and I needed to rest and regroup and all that good stuff, too. But the real reason was that the isolation chambers creeped me out beyond belief. I’d rather fight Bitch Leader again than have to watch them put Martini into the scientific cross between Frankenstein’s lab and The Mummy’s Tomb, complete with extra special effects including tubes and wires running into his body and head. Supposedly this was harder to observe than experience, and I had no desire to put it to the test.

Kevin, Chuckie, and Gower assigned teams to search the Science Center from top to bottom, including the old water pipe. No bombs, bugs, or anything else strange were found.

“Still want to know how the prisoners got away,” Chuckie fretted.

I thought about it. “Oh, duh. Paul, ask ACE if Lilith did it.”

Gower twitched a bit. “Yes, ACE is pretty sure the other superconsciousness removed the prisoners. He apologized for not mentioning it before. Even a superconsciousness can get distracted, apparently.”

“No worries. Solves that problem.” I had a much bigger one. “I need to go shopping.”

“Kitty, when did you sleep last?” Chuckie looked concerned.

“I don’t remember.”

Reader put his arm around my shoulders. “I’ll take care of it.”

“But James—”

“I’m fine. I had a lot of rest. You get some sleep. Then we can take care of everything else. I’ll line up the dress options while you and your many bridesmaids take a breather, okay?”

“You conspired with the families to get us married this weekend.”

The cover-boy grin was in full force. “Of course. You two were heading for a disaster. Eloping to Vegas is a great plan.”

“Eloping with our entire families and almost all our friends?” A thought occurred. “What about my friends most of you don’t know about?” It was one thing not to ask my other sorority sisters to be bridesmaids. It was another to move my wedding up by six weeks and not share that news until after the fact.

Chuckie shrugged. “I know all your friends from college. Already did the list comparison with your mother. Those who received invitations in the mail were advised that things had been moved up. Most of them will make it.”

“How?” I looked at Chuckie and Reader suspiciously. They both contrived to look innocent. “Who’s paying to get them out here?”

Chuckie grinned. “It’s amazing how we need a really good cover story for what’s gone on here, something to distract attention away from interplanetary and terrorist issues. A huge wedding is just the thing.”

“How did the C.I.A. get involved in my wedding day?”

Reader grinned. “You invited Reynolds and your mother.”

“Good point. I’m almost afraid to ask what else is coming.”

Reader shrugged. “It did spiral a bit out of what I’d originally planned, yeah.”

“I don’t want to know, do I?”

Reader kissed my forehead. “Probably not. Let’s get you into bed.” He nodded to Chuckie and took me to the elevators.

“I thought Jeff was going to stay on Alpha Four.”

“I don’t know why.” We got into the elevator. “Man lives for you.”

“He’d make a good king.”

“Probably. Doesn’t matter. He declined.”

“Because of me.”

Reader hugged me. “Yeah. He made the first selfish choice I’ve ever seen. About time, too.”

“But he’s the leader.”

“Even leaders deserve to be with the person they love.” We got out on the 15th floor and went to the Lair. “You think you’ll be okay down here?”

“Well, you could stay with me, but I think that would cause Jeff and Paul some major issues.”

He laughed. “Yeah.”

I remembered something I’d wanted to ask. “What did you name your Poof?”

He looked embarrassed. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, come on. I’ll find out Christopher’s, too, you know.”

“I’m sure. Gatita.”

I thought about it and did a translation. “That means Kitty in Spanish.”

“Yeah, it does.” He kissed my forehead. “Go to sleep now. I’ll come and get you by midafternoon. If you wake up sooner, just call me.”

“Okay.”

Reader grinned. “Trust me. I’ll have everything taken care of, and anything you don’t like we’ll be able to change. Okay?”

“I’ll trust you.”

He grinned again, kissed my cheek, then left, closing the door quietly, but firmly, behind him. I took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and the exhaustion hit. Staggered to the bedroom, stepped out of my shoes, lay down, purse, jacket, dress and all still on, and went to sleep.

I woke up and could tell I wasn’t alone. It was light in the room, but I had no idea what time of day it was. Tried to figure out if I was in trouble and where the other entity was. There was pressure on my chest. I managed to move my head a bit and look down. To see Harlie and Poofikins asleep between my breasts, curled around each other. Harlie looked at me, purred, curled back up, and went back to sleep. I decided to follow suit.

Woke up again and knew I wasn’t alone, and this time I knew it was someone other than the Poofs. I opened my eyes and looked around. No one I could see. Sat up, got to hear much Poof grumbling as they tumbled from my chest to my lap. Still no one in the room. But the bedroom door was closed, and I’d left it open.

I moved the Poofs back into the jacket pocket that didn’t have my iPod in it, got my Glock out of my purse, and got out of bed as quietly as I could. Checked the closet and under the bed—nothing. Crept to the door. Opened it like I’d seen Chuckie do, from the side so the wall would block me, pointed the Glock out.

“Whoa there, Superagent Girl. Gun down. It’s a big crime to shoot your superior.”

I pulled the gun back. “Chuckie, what are you doing here?” I dumped the Glock back in my purse and walked out to the living area.

He was sitting on the couch, arms stretched out on the back, watching TV with the sound very low. “Got some sleep, then woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. Reader brought me down here with, of course, the message that if I put moves on you, he and many others would conveniently forget I was their superior and rip me a new one, literally, and so on.”

“Why are you watching TV?” I yawned and went to the fridge. “Coke or Cherry Coke? Or whatever?”

“Coke. And I’m watching it to relax and maybe fall back asleep. Duh.”

I opened the fridge and grabbed a Coke for him and a Cherry Coke for me. Took the straw that was in the door for me, didn’t bother for him. Tossed him his can.

“Hey, Dudette, you have to stop doing that. I hate it when it sprays.”

I snorted. “Payback’s a bitch, and so am I.” I plopped down on the couch next to him. “So, what’re we watching?”

“Reruns. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous right now.”

“What, are you and Jeff on some scary wavelength? I thought he was only separated at birth from Jerry.”

He shrugged. “I like it. I’ve been to a lot of the places they show. It’s interesting to me to see what they were like a few years ago.”

“Yeah, you are the one with the big money.”

“So’s Martini. You’d better get used to it.”

“He lives a lot more simply than his parents do.” I thought about it. “Like you.”

“Do you want to?”

I thought about this. I knew Chuckie well enough to know this wasn’t casual talk. “I don’t know. Comfy middle class has always been fine. I like the Lair. I like Dulce and Caliente Bases. Of course, I really like the maid service, but it’s fine here. Like the dorms, only for grownups.”

“I miss the coed floor sometimes.”

“I miss having you right there sometimes. But, why are you asking about living arrangements?”

He sighed. “Martini is going to want to give you the best of everything, shower you with gifts, buy you an expensive house, the works. And I know you. That will sound great to you for a little while. Then your father’s training will kick in, and you’ll realize you don’t need ten thousand square feet even if you have a bunch of kids. You’ll feel guilty for wearing designer clothes when other people can barely afford shoes. And he won’t understand, because you liked it before.”

“What makes you so sure of all this?”

“I know him. Not like you do, but as a professional, a peer, if you will. I’ve seen how he is with you—which is nothing like he is with anyone else. He’s been to C.I.A. headquarters a lot. Every time, he’s charming to the women, nice to the men who aren’t his peers, and pissed off with me and anyone who technically has a higher rank than he does.”

“So?”

“So, he could have landed any woman there. He’s got a lot more charm than me, and every woman I work with and around thinks he’s great-looking and would give their right arm for a shot at going out with him.”

“Are you telling me I should be worried?”

He laughed. “Not about his eye wandering, no. He really is a very focused individual. I’ve seen his ‘everything’s great, no worries’ act. It’s just that, an act. But because he’s focused and you’re the one he’s focused on, he’s going to be putting that energy into making you happy.”

“Is that bad?” I was wondering where Chuckie was going with this.

“No.” He sounded exasperated. “But he’s only known you a year. I have half our lives’ experience. I can say without a doubt that it would take you quite a while to adjust to my lifestyle. Could you? Sure, because I know the things to do to make you feel right about it—we come from very similar backgrounds—and I’m fairly unostentatious. Martini is too. However, he grew up with a father who showered his wife with everything and lived on a huge estate. He comes from royalty, for God’s sake, and even though he didn’t know it, clearly Alfred’s imitated that lifestyle as much as he could within Earth-American standards.”

“I guess.”

Chuckie made another sound of exasperation. “The clothes you’ve been in, as an example—how comfortable are you in them?”

I thought about it. “Well, I like that Jeff thinks they’re really sexy.”

“And I saw your expression when you looked at the price tags. You were ready to cut a vein open. You look sexy in a concert T-shirt, Kitty. You just woke up and were sleeping in your dress and a man’s jacket, you have total bed hair, and you’re still sexy.”

“Gee, um, thanks.” I started to get up to brush my hair, but he pulled me back down.

“I’ve seen it. For years. We lived next door in the dorms, remember? Hell, even when you joined the sorority and moved in there, you looked like this half the time when I came by.”

“Yeah, I always liked to look my best. Fine, point made. And, yeah, I love these clothes, but I wouldn’t want an entire wardrobe of them.”

“Right. You love them because they’re a special indulgence. He may be an empath, but unless you set the stage right away for how you want to live, long-term, he’s going to err on the side of extravagance, and that’s going to cause major marital issues for the two of you down the road.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

He shook his head. “Because I love you, idiot. You chose him over me, fine, I’m a big boy, have to learn to deal, but, hey, I’m still around should he screw up. Of course, he chose you over ruling an entire solar system. Let’s be real—first the guy saves you at the last moment from a raving sociopath by running over a hundred miles and turning himself into the Hulk, and next he passes up total galaxy domination for you. There is no way I can ever up his ante, and he’s not even doing it in competition with me—he’s doing it because he loves you so much.”

“Sometimes I think he thinks he’s competing with you.”

“He’s jealous as hell, yeah. Can’t blame him, really. Even the gay guys drool over you.”

“James doesn’t drool.”

“Right. Put it this way: I can understand why Martini and Gower wonder about the two of you.”

“Humph.”

“Play coy; it’s cute, and doesn’t fool me.” He hugged me. “I love you, okay? Yeah, romantically, but also as a friend. And that’s all I’m getting, the friend part. So, as your friend, instead of letting you make a mistake that could cause that ‘mating for life’ idea to seem passé, I’m giving you the talk your parents can’t, because they have no experience like this, and the one your other friends won’t because they aren’t aware it’s an issue.”

I hugged him back. “Okay, fine. And thanks. I’ll make sure to get the ground rules on extravagance set early, okay?”

Chuckie kissed my forehead. “Good.” He let me go. “Now go get changed, and please, God, brush your hair. I promised Reader I’d get you over to him once you were up and functioning.”