Текст книги "Outside the Lines"

Автор книги: Emily Goodwin

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

“I didn’t know that.”

“I’d say I’m better than average at it, but I’m no pro. It’s fun. I still go every winter with friends. And ride snowmobiles.”

“I much prefer warm weather activities.”

He chuckles. “I like warm weather too. I told you, when it’s bad I won’t even go into work. But it’s different when you’re doing something fun like snowboarding and skiing, or riding a snowmobile. You get all geared up and stay warm.”

I wrinkle my nose. “I don’t like feeling all bundled.”

His eyes drop to my tits. “I don’t think I’ll like you being all bundled.”

I shiver, despite the sun beating down on us. He reaches down into the water and rubs my core, wiggling his eyebrows and making me giggle. I think he’s joking until I feel his cock start to harden underneath me. I raise my eyebrows in question.

“You’re turning me on,” he says and pulls me closer. I crane my neck to keep it above the water. “That’s a problem.”

“It is,” I say and look behind me, seeing Zoey and Mindy finally join Danielle and Jake in the water. They make their way over, to the cove. “But I think I have a solution.”

*

“You’re sunburned already,” Ben says as we head back to the dock for lunch.

I look down at my shoulders and grimace. “I was going to put sunscreen on and forgot.”

“It’s not too late,” he says.

“I’ll get it when we get back.”

Mindy laughs, holding her hat with one hand to keep from blowing off. “You are really pale. No wonder you burned easily. I tan. I never burn.”

“Anyone with skin can burn if they’re out long enough,” I say dryly.

“You don’t even have a base tan.” She rolls her eyes and I feel like the lame-o in high school I once was, not allowed to go to the tanning bed due to my mother’s fear of me getting skin cancer. I’m thankful now, but that was just another thing added to the list of why I never sat at the cool table.

“I don’t care,” I tell her bluntly.

“I can tell,” she scoffs.

Ben watches the exchange but doesn’t say anything. Maybe he feels awkward since Mindy is an employee? Whatever. I’m not going to let Mindy fucking Abraham get under my skin. Not today. Not ever again.

The boat slows when the dock comes into view. We have our own slip and it’s never an issue getting in, but the loading ramp near the dock causes the water to get a bit congested. Jake idles the boat and we wait for some of the other watercrafts to clear out of the way.

“Ew,” Mindy says, elbowing her sister. I follow her gaze, expecting to see a dead fish floating in the water. Instead, she’s clearing pointing to a girl who can’t be any older than eighteen. I don’t understand what’s wrong. The girl is on the shore, chasing a toddler who may or may not be her own child. She’s wearing a tankini, and part of her stomach is showing. She turns around to scoop up the kid, who just face planted in the sand.

Mindy and Zoey laugh. My blood boils.

“She should not be wearing that in public,” Mindy says and shakes her head like she just witnessed a legit crime. “Why they make swim suits in that size is beyond me.”

A line lay before me and I knew I needed to pick one side to stand on. I can turn my head, think of something else, and let it go, or I could push Mindy fucking Abraham off the boat, rub my hands together, and laugh like I’d just taken over the Death Star and can carry out my mission to destroy an inhabited planet. Metaphorically, at least.

I cast my eyes down and realize that I’m not just standing up to Mindy, I’m standing up to every entitled, bitchy, thunder cunt in the world who thinks self-worth is defined by your waist size. The words bubble inside of me and I know I have to say something. Mindy points and laughs again, making fun of the girl’s stomach. I look down at myself. I’m not overweight, but I’m not fit with flat abs. My words die in my throat.

I turn my head and look at Ben, who has his feet up, shades on, looking sexy as hell. I can still feel him between my legs as he thrust that big beautiful cock in and out of me, fucking in the boat as fast as we could before we got caught. I set down my wine cooler.

I have a motherfucking spaceship to take over.

“Seriously?” I say and push my shoulders back. Mindy, Zoey, and Danielle turn to me. “Just because you’re insecure about how you look doesn’t mean you have to make fun of someone else. Tearing her down doesn’t build you up. Pointing out her cellulite doesn’t make yours disappear. It’s because of women like you that body shaming is an issue. Why belittle and bully other women when you can empower them? Grow the fuck up and focus your energy on something that actually matters.”

Ben, who I think had been oblivious to Mindy’s comments, sits up and looks at me like he wants to lay me down and fuck me again. Jake turns around from the wheel, eyes wide as he tries not to smile. Danielle will not look at any of us and Mindy just stares blankly in my direction.

“Well … if she didn’t want people to talk about her then she shouldn’t have worn that in public,” she finally responds.

“Oh my god,” I say slowly. “I just can’t with you.” I blink and turn away, fearing that her stupidity might be contagious. I snap my mouth shut, knowing I won’t be able to stop once I get started. I could argue until I was blue in the face and it wouldn’t change Mindy’s mind. She’s right and the rest of the world is wrong. I’m not wasting my time.

We dock the boat and climb out. Ben and I are the last out. He takes my hand, helping me onto the pier.

“That was pretty fucking awesome,” he says. “And I agree with you. It’s all petty bullshit that’s annoying to listen to.”

I nod and reach into my bag, seeing if Erin has texted me she’s on her way yet. She hasn’t.

“Are we eating now?” Ben asks, linking his fingers with mine as we walk toward the beach. The little section that stretches along my parents’ cabins is a private beach, and shouldn’t be this packed with people. But my parents don’t really care, as long as people aren’t getting crazy. It’s a holiday, after all. The whole point of holidays is to celebrate something and not be a dick, right?

“We can eat all day if we want to hang around here,” I say. “I’m sure my mom has everything out now. The party officially starts at three, but most my relatives show up before then. My dad will start grilling soon too.”

“I like this,” Ben says and we step off the wooden dock into hot sand. “It’s very American.” He chuckles. “This is how you should spend the Fourth.”

“It’s how I always did. What did you guys do?”

“Picnic and fireworks, but not to this extent.”

“Halloween gets my vote for best holiday because of the costumes, but this is a close second just because of the food and the water.”

“I agree. Halloween isn’t as fun as when I was a kid, but I do like watching the Halloween movies on TV,” he admits with a smile. “And Christmas is … too much.”

Oh my fucking God he’s my soulmate. I push my heart back into my chest. “Yes! It’s just too long and too commercial, though I do like presents.”

“Who doesn’t?”

We hurry through the sand, our bare feet not able to take it much longer, and climb up the steps to my parents’ deck. It’s just as hot. Feet: 0. Sun: 1. Shoes are going back on. I slip my dress over my head and lead Ben inside to fill our plates. We take a reprieve from the heat and sit in the living room, enjoying the wonderful modern amenities of ceiling fans and air-conditioning.

I come back with my second hot dog and sit close to Ben. The back door slides open and Jake, Danielle, and her lovely friends come inside to escape the heat for a bit as well. Mindy only eats fruit. I grit my teeth. It’s not worth it … it’s not worth it.

“I hope you like our little family tradition,” I say to Danielle.

“I do,” she says and I know she means it. She links her arm through Jake’s. “This is so cute and I just love the beach. Plus it’s nice having access right outside the house.”

“I always felt bad for the people who had to park and walk, carrying coolers and kids, and all the other crap you bring with you.”

“I hadn’t even thought of that! But you are right.”

“We liked it growing up,” I say. “Had a few parties, lots of good memories.”

“You had parties?” Mindy says to me, raising her eyebrows. “I never heard about them.”

I slowly inhale. “Yeah, I did. It was a lot of fun.”

Jake quickly changes the subject to sports, talking to Ben about how he’s looking forward to football starting up again already. They talk about teams and someone getting banned—things I know nothing about—and I relax against Ben now that my skin isn’t hot to the touch anymore. He puts his arm around me without even thinking, hand resting on the curve of my hip. My phone buzzes; Erin just let me know she’s on her way. Dave was slow, as usual.

I warn her about Mindy fucking Abraham. Erin was shy and quiet. She still is, really. She was able to fade into the background during school and was never the subject of direct bullying.

Unlike me.

She stuck up for me when she could, even though social confrontation was right up there with facing an entire army of Daleks without the Doctor by your side. She really is a good friend, and I can’t wait for her to meet Ben. I set the phone down and rest my head against Ben’s muscular shoulder. I’m not that tired, but a full belly plus a morning spent in the sun makes me want a nap.

“So, Felicity,” Mindy starts. I open my eyes and find her perched on the edge of the couch next to her sister. She’s so fucking pretty it kills me. Then the maliciousness comes out and I can see her true face. “Do you still do that nerdy costume stuff?”

“You mean Cosplay?” I ask and sit up. “Yes, I still do that nerdy costume stuff and really enjoy it. Ben’s a fan of my nerdy costumes, aren’t you, Ben?”

Mindy’s face scrunches up like someone just ripped a stinky fart. “Ben likes wearing costumes?”

“He doesn’t wear them,” I clarify. “I said he’s a fan of my costumes.” Well, just one costume, but I’m sure he’ll like others.

“Ben, really?”

He smiles. “I feel like I shouldn’t say anything because your brother is in the room and he won’t want to know.”

“Huh?” Jake says. Then it clicks. “Oh, ew. Yeah, no details please. I don’t even want to—nope. Just stop.”

Everyone else laughs. Everyone but Mindy. I know the woman hated me in high school for some unknown reason, but why be a bitter bitch now?

“Don’t you feel a little old to be dressing up in costumes?” Mindy asks.

I’ve been asked that before, many times, actually. “No. There’s not an age limit at Comic-Con, and Cosplaying in my spare time doesn’t hinder my adulting. Well, not that much. I still go to work and pay my bills and all that. I don’t see how it’s any different than any other hobby. Some people jog and knit and do other … uh, things. I like to sew costumes.”

Mindy raises her eyebrows. “Yeah, sure. I think it’s weird.”

“Just because it’s weird to you, doesn’t make it weird,” Ben cuts in. “Felicity is right, again. I say to each his—or her—own. As long as your hobby doesn’t involve chickens, Vaseline, and a dark shed, what does it matter?”

“All I’m saying is there’s a reason hardly anyone is into that stuff.” Mindy purses her lips and leans back. Danielle is beginning to look mortified, which makes me like her a little more, even if she’s friends with Mindy and her sister.

“Do you know how many people attend Comic Cons?” I ask. “A lot. And I like that it’s not mainstream.”

“Life is too short to worry about the opinions of others,” Ben says pointedly. “Not a lot of people are brave enough to do what they love without fear of judgment.” His eyes meet mine. “It’s just one of the things I like about you.”

I’m smiling, and the background fades until it’s just Ben and me left in the room. My heart flutters and Ben’s fingers press into my skin.

“Want to go outside?” Ben asks. “I want to look at the water. It’s inspiring.”

He takes my plate, sets it in the kitchen, and we go out the front door.

“You should fire Mindy,” I say and look down the driveway for Erin’s car.

“I’ve thought about it,” Ben confesses. “But she’s actually good at selling stuff, and I hate interviewing people.”

“Meh, I guess.” I take Ben’s hand and make a mental promise to myself. No matter what, Mindy is not ruining the rest of the day. I’m not going to talk about her or bring her up. I’ll save her from drowning if need be, though I’ll wait until she goes under and ruins her hair and makeup before diving in. Other than that, I’m ignoring her.

Today is all about fun and friends, and she’s neither of those.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“He is seriously perfect,” Erin whispers. “I can tell he really likes you.”

“I hope so,” I say back. “Because I really like him. It’s been so intense since day one. I can’t even with the passion. Like it’s just so much.” I shake my head and smile. “I just hope that he doesn’t feel this way about anyone else.”

“I don’t think he’s seeing anyone else,” Erin says and leans on the sink. “Not with what you’ve told me, and not with the way he looks at you.”

I wobble when I stand, turning to flush the toilet. We ran inside before the fireworks started to use the bathroom and gossip. “But we never had a relationship talk. He said he dates other women.”

“When did he say that?”

“Uh, before we hooked up the first time.”

“Things can change,” Erin slurs. I’ve lost count of how many alcoholic beverages I’ve had. I still got my wits about me—okay half my wits—but I would say I’m drunk. Erin is probably just as drunk and she’s had two wine coolers. Such a lightweight.

I wash my hands and run them through my messy hair while Erin uses the bathroom. I give up on my hair. I need something more substantial than my fingers, and loosen the ties on my bikini top. I kept it tight to hold the girls up, but my neck is starting to hurt. The struggle is real when it comes to these puppies. But it’s a love-to-hate problem.

Ben gets along great with everyone, and everyone likes him. I’ve never been ashamed of anyone I’ve brought home with me, but I’ve never exactly been proud of them either. And I’m not talking about his incredible good looks. I’m talking about Ben. Who he is. What he does. He’s just an all-around great guy.

The sun is almost set and I get hit with a blast of hot, humid air when we leave the house and step out onto the deck. My entire family is crowded on it, all sitting in a circle around a fire pit that is probably dangerously close to the house. But in our family, we drink and roast marshmallows wherever the fuck we want. Even if it’s against a fire code.

“I love nights like this,” Mom says. “When it’s still hot after the sun sets.”

I put my hand on Ben’s and pick up a red plastic cup from the deck floor. It might be mine. It might not be. I’m just drunk enough to not care. As long as alcohol gets in my mouth, I’m fine.

“I love summer,” one of my cousins chimes in. “It always goes by so fast after the Fourth.”

“Especially for us teachers,” Danielle says, and another cousin agrees. He teaches math at the high school here in town.

“I can’t wait for fall,” Mindy says. “I live for pumpkin spice, leggings, and Ugg boots.”

I cannot hide the horror on my face. Not only is Mindy an insult to the female race, she’s the most basic one at that. I stare at her like she just got caught not washing her hands after taking a shit, then shake myself. I don’t care, remember?

We continue talking and drinking, then turn our chairs when the fireworks start. We “ooo” and “aww” for nearly an hour, eat some more, talk, laugh, and continue drinking. The party breaks up around midnight. I walk Erin to her car, give her a hug goodbye, and promise to call once Ben and I get back into Grand Rapids.

Zoey and Mindy leave without saying bye, which is fine by me. Jake, Danielle, Ben, and I help my mom and aunts clean up most of the mess until the others are too tired to keep going on. Danielle kisses Jake goodnight, saying she’ll see him in the morning. I see the question in Ben’s eyes, so I’m not surprised when he asks me about it once we slip outside.

“They say they are waiting for marriage,” I explain and collect red Solo cups from the deck, pitching them into a recycling bin.

“Waiting to have sex?” Ben asks like he can’t believe it.

“I haven’t asked for details, like if just slipping the tip in counts or not, but yeah, they say they haven’t slept together yet.”

Ben’s nostril flare. “People still do that?”

I laugh. “Some people, yeah, I guess. Hmm … maybe I should go cold turkey and save myself too.”

“Hell no,” Ben says. “I love fucking you.”

The smile is back on my face. “I assumed so. And I love fucking you too.”

“You better.”

I shake my head and run my eyes over him. He’s still shirtless, somehow not sunburned, and just … amazing. I’m floating above the sand, looking down at the shore. Is this real life?

Fireworks continue to go off, reflecting on the lake. We end up on the edge of the dock, swinging our feet above the water, arms around each other. We talk about everything and anything, and the next thing I know, the sun is creeping up, and storm clouds are rolling in on the horizon. Exhaustion hits me when I stand (and probably dehydration; it’s hot and I drank a lot) and I hold onto Ben to keep from faltering. We walk down the boardwalk hand in hand, and thunder rumbles distantly over the lake.

“Good timing,” Ben says slowly. He yawns and pulls me in. I twist and wrap my arms around him. The wind picks up and he kisses me. Time stands still. My heart races and everything is finally perfect in my world.

It’s been just over a month but I think I’m in love with him.

Fuck. Me. This shouldn’t be happening so soon. He pushes his tongue into my mouth and I’m hot and wet in an instant and ready to throw him down in the sand. Actually, who cares what “should” be. I’ve never been one for rules anyway. We tangle closer together, stumbling over the sun-warped wooden boards until we get to the cabin. I rummage through my purse for the key.

We strip out of the little clothes we have on. I yank down Ben’s swim shorts and he pulls my dress over my head, then slowly pulls the strings on my clamshell bikini top. My breasts are still damp from the material, and feel cold under Ben’s warm hands. Sand sprinkles on the floor and rubs my skin. He unties my bottoms and we head to the bathroom and into the shower.

The water is still cold when we step in, but we’re so wrapped up in each other neither of us cares. Ben kisses me, then trails his lips down my neck and onto my breast. He pulls back, makes a face, and spits.

“You’re all sandy,” he says with a laugh.

I’m laughing too as I step away from him to let the water rush over me. “Better?”

“I think so.” He picks up where he left off, and I cast my eyes down to watch his big, beautiful cock rise to action. I take it in my hand, slowly pumping up and down while he kisses me all over.

Then he drops to his knees and keeps his hands on my waist. I lean back against the shower wall, holding onto the little plastic bar in the middle for support. Carefully, he props one of my legs up over his shoulder.

And I slip.

He catches me, uprights me, and puts his head between my legs. The water isn’t just warm now. It’s hot, as hot as I’m feeling for Ben right now. I’m holding on for dear life. I don’t want to slip again and risk him stopping.

His tongue lashes against me and my other hand goes to his strong shoulder, pushing myself against the shower wall to keep from sliding. He parts me with his fingers, hot tongue on my clit, and slips two fingers inside, working along with the rhythm of his mouth. He pushes against my g-spot, holds his fingers there for a second, then releases, all the while he’s licking and sucking and—holy fuck—using his teeth just enough to drive me absolutely wild.

I’m screaming his name in just minutes, coming so hard he has to hold me up to keep me from falling. I’m tingly all over from the orgasm, panting and heart racing. He hooks his arms under mine and pulls me to him.

“Felicity,” he says and looks into my eyes. “I … I think I—”

Thunder booms above us. The storm is coming in fast. It’s probably going to be bad. There’s something unsafe about being in the shower during a storm, right? I can’t think straight, and I honestly don’t care.

I wrap my arms around Ben and take a breath, steadying myself before I bend my still shaking legs. I take a second to appreciate the girth of his dick before opening my mouth and welcoming it in. I take my time, enjoying feeling Ben squirm from pleasure, hearing him pant and groan until he’s so close he pulls back and lifts me up.

He spins me around and I bend over, my ass against his front. He enters from behind, reaching around to stroke me while he thrusts in and out, fast then slow, until we are both coming at the same time. I’ve never had that—orgasming together at the same exact moment—but I’ve always wanted to.

We’re out of breath, panting, and not at all clean, when I shut the water off and grab towels. Rain and wind slap the small cabin, and the lights flicker.

“Storms come fast and hard off the lake,” I comment as I dry myself off.

“Kind of like you,” Ben says with a grin.

I shake my head and smile, legs still unsteady. I move over in front of the mirror, flip my head upside down, and wrap my dripping hair in the towel. Hastily, I rub lotion over my sunburned skin, then wind my way into the bedroom and collapse into bed. Ben joins me, pulling the blankets over our naked bodies.

I yank the towel off my head and drop it on the floor, wiggling closer to Ben. He envelopes me in his muscular arms, and we drift to sleep, snuggled safe inside together, listening to the storm rage around us.

*

It’s still going strong when we wake at nine.

“This is good sleeping weather,” Ben mumbles and rolls over, lazily throwing his arm around me. “And I think I can sleep all day.”

“Me too,” I say and adjust my pillow. It’s only a matter of minutes until the rain and the wind lull me back to sleep. We don’t get up again until close to noon. Ben is sprawled out when I slip out of bed. A day filled with stuffing my face and drinking leaves my stomach not so happy.

I hurry to the bathroom, needing a few minutes alone before Ben gets up. I close the door. Turning on the fan is too obvious. Well, I do need to shower. I nod, thinking that yes, this shall work. The water goes on and I’m about to sit down when the bathroom door opens.

“Showering without me?” Ben asks, giving me that I’m-going-to-fuck-you-again look. When I don’t return it, he raises his eyebrows. “It’s fine if you want to.”

“It’s not that,” I blurt.

“Then what is it?”

I try to come up with a lie but shake my head. I hate how women aren’t supposed to admit they go to the bathroom yet everybody has to take a poo every now and then. “I was using the shower to cover up the fact that I really need to poop.”

Ben bursts out laughing. “Yeah, don’t want to be in here for that.”

My cheeks heat up just a bit. I refuse to be embarrassed by a totally normal body function. “Raincheck?”

“Maybe in a while, once the air clears. Should I pack my stuff?”

“Yeah, we can do that then go to breakfast, well, lunch.”

Ben still has a look of amusement on his face. “I’ll work on that while you take care of business.”

I press my lips together but end up laughing. “Deal.” I do take a shower too, since there is still sand in my hair that needs to be washed out. I get out, towel my hair, and get dressed while Ben hops in for a quick shower.

Since it’s raining and we need to leave soon anyway, we drive to my parents’ house and I get my dad to open the garage door so we can run in and stay dry. We eat leftovers from last night, say our goodbyes, and head home.

An hour into our drive, Ben tells me he has two events to go to this week. He doesn’t even mention bringing me with. After a weekend like we just had, I don’t know how much more it will take for him to want me to be his girlfriend and be worthy of going to fancy art shit with him.

I think about it for too long, and I use the excuse of being tired when Ben asks why I’m not talking. I force myself to put on a smile the rest of the way.

“I’m starving,” Ben says when we pull into my driveway.

“Come in and I’ll make you something,” I say. “Mac and cheese sounds good.”

“It does, actually. I haven’t had that in a while.”

I raise an eyebrow. I thought all single people lived off of a diet that consisted of at least 50% mac and cheese. He brings in my suitcase, sets it in my room, and joins me in the kitchen. I’m feeling better and not so insecure when we take our bowls into the living room.

“I don’t want to go to work tomorrow,” I say and take a bite of food. Ben just nods, his mouth too full to answer. “Even though it was just as weekend thing, I feel like I need a day to recover.”

“Me too,” he agrees once he’s swallowed. “I probably will take tomorrow off. Perks of being my own boss.”

“That is so not fair.”

“You went into the wrong profession.”

“Apparently.” I take another few bites. “I have a feeling you’re going to have an awkward reunion with your secretary when you do go back too.”

He raises his eyebrows. “You can say that. And I’m sorry she gave you shit.”

“Why are you sorry?” I finish my mac and cheese and set the bowl down on the floor for Ser Pounce. He likes to lick the leftover cheese sauce.

“Ah, fuck. I forgot you didn’t know.”

My throat goes dry. That’s never a good thing to hear. “Didn’t know what?”

“I know you guys had a bad history in high school or whatever, but Mindy was extra bitchy because she’s jealous of you.”

There’s only one reason she’d be jealous of me, and that involves Ben. “She likes you?”

He nods. “I don’t think she ever got over—”

“Got over? Wait. You two had a … a…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“Yeah, we dated when she first started working for me.”

My heart stops beating. Ben, perfect, amazing Ben, dated Mindy fucking Abraham. I blink, then turn away.

“It wasn’t anything serious,” Ben says and it’s like his voice is echoing in my head. “We went out and hooked up a few times, that’s it.”

Now my stomach is twisting. Hooked up. He hooked up with Mindy. I can’t hide the abhorrence on my face.

“Felicity?”

“You … you and Mindy?” You and Undesirable No. 1, more like it. “Hooked up?”

“Yeah, but it’s over and it never meant anything to me.”

All I hear is how what we have might not mean anything to him as well. “I just…”

“It’s not a big deal,” he says slowly. “I’ve hooked up with other people in the past, and I’m sure you have. Actually I know you have because you’re quite good at more than a few things, and I’m thankful for that.”

“It is a big deal,” I say and I know the words are coming out of my mouth on their own accord and there is no stopping once I get started. “You put your dick in her, and then in me, so it’s basically like I had sex with her.”

“It doesn’t quite work like that,” he says. “You’re mad, but I’m not really sure why. I didn’t do anything wrong, Felicity.” He’s getting defensive.

I blink. Somewhere, deep down in the hallow pit that is now my heart, I know he’s right. But another part of me, the part that I try to ignore, the part that houses all my insecurities, tells me this makes sense.

It makes sense that Ben would date someone like Mindy. It makes sense now why he wouldn’t take me to a fancy art event when he could take someone like Mindy instead. She might be a cum-guzzling thunder cunt, but she doesn’t look like one. Well, as long as she keeps those fake tits under control and her stupid mouth shut.

No, Mindy is perfect on the outside. Perfect hair, perfect skin. Her nails are always polished and not chipping. She’d never wear miss-matched socks or forget deodorant or have frizzy hair when it rains or even when it doesn’t.

She might not be a nice person, but can’t tell by looking at her.

And my Ben—my sweet, wonderful, passionate Ben, who I’m pretty sure I’m fucking in love with—dated her. But it’s more than that. He dated the type of woman that I hate. The type that brings others down to make herself feel better, who doesn’t give a shit about what’s right or wrong as long as it benefits her.

Suddenly I’m a teenager again watching Mindy shove her tongue down the throat of my crush.

“Hey,” he says. “Come on.” He nudges my arm. “Let it go.”

“I need time to process this, to process that you literally slept with the enemy.”

“I thought you said you were over that.”

“I am! But still … she’s fucking married and has a kid! You slept with a married woman!”

“She’s getting a divorce, and she doesn’t have any kids I’m aware of, just a niece. She told me they were separated at the time and not living together. I believed her and didn’t check into the facts. I never would have hooked up with her if I knew she was still living with her husband, I promise. I’m not like that. And it wasn’t anything serious. Just a fling that meant nothing to me.”

A fling with Mindy fucking Abraham is right up there with a lunch date with Hitler. It’s nothing to be taken lightly. He puts his hand on my arm and I flinch away.

“Felicity, don’t be stupid.”

A nerve is struck and my anger and self-doubt boil over, bubbling together into a deadly combination that sends me into rage mode. “I’m not being stupid! I guess I just finally see this.”

“See what?”

“What this is, who I am to you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“This!”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head. “You’re not making sense. Calm down and let’s talk about this like adults. If I knew it would cause such an issue, I never would have brought it up.”

“Well, I’m glad you did because now I know the truth on where we stand.” I must be a fling too. Nothing serious. Maybe I mean nothing to him too. The thought breaks my heart and instead of feeling sad, I’m pissed. The anger will fade and the hurt will be setting in, but not yet. I’m mad now. I need to hold onto that anger while I can to protect myself.

No, I don’t think rationally when I’m in an emotional crisis like this. “It makes sense now. You never took me to one of your fancy art shows. You’re still seeing other people, bringing them to your house … I saw the women’s shoes there, by the way … and I can’t—” my voice breaks with emotion and my mind continues to whirl.