Текст книги "Outside the Lines"

Автор книги: Emily Goodwin

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

The wedding planner beams and tells Danielle and Jake to close their eyes. The photographer snaps pictures while her assistant records the reveal. Even I’m feeling the anticipation when the planner slowly opens the doors. Danielle squeals with excitement and the bridesmaids start gushing on and on about how pretty things are. I hang back with my parents, letting the others go in first, then follow.

The lighting is low and everything is set perfectly. Okay, yeah … this is pretty fucking impressive. My mind wanders to how much each large centerpiece costs as I admire the satin bows tied to each chair. This looks like something out of a magazine, and I start to get a little bit more excited for tomorrow.

There is an open bar, after all.

Danielle goes through things with the planner and has nothing to change. I’d be surprised if she did since everything is so beautifully put together. I might not be able to ever afford this planner, but I want her business card just in case.

It’s raining even harder when we leave the venue and head to the restaurant. Mom is sure the sky will get the rain “out of its system” by tomorrow, but when Dad pulls up the radar, it doesn’t look like Mother Nature agrees.

I’m quiet throughout dinner, and Dad takes notice again. I brush it off as being tired, and check my phone between sips of wine. Ben still hasn’t updated his Instagram. There is nothing new on his gallery’s website either. I’m stopped with ways to stalk him. Well, legally stalk him via social media that is, and I’m not crossing that line anymore.

Mom goes to bed early when we get home. Jake, who’s spending his last single night away from Danielle, stays up for a bit with Dad and me, watching TV and trying to relax. Two hours later, he gets up and says he’s going to bed.

“You should too, kiddo,” Dad says and pushes himself out of the recliner.

“I’m not tired yet,” I say, knowing I won’t be able to sleep.

Dad waits until Jake goes upstairs to continue. “You’ve been saying you’re tired all day and now you’re not. What’s wrong, Felicity? You’re not your normal self.”

I sigh. “I’m fine, Dad. I will be, I mean.”

“Women don’t use the ‘fine’ word and ever mean it.” He sits next to me on the couch. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “I got into a stupid fight with Ben, said things I don’t mean, and probably ruined everything.”

“You, say things out of anger? No way.” Dad gives me a smile. “Did you apologize?”

“I did, but not right away. And that makes it worse, I know.” I let out a breath. “But it’s fine. I’m sad, I admit that. I really really liked him, but I’ll get over it. I promise.”

“You know your mother and I met in college.”

“I do.”

“But I don’t think I ever told you or your brother about our first date. I took your mother to a frat party. I was so nervous I got drunk and then puked in her car on the way home. I was so embarrassed I never called her back, never asked her out for a second date. Then she called me.”

“To ask you out again?”

Dad chuckles. “No, to make me pay the cleaning bill for her car. But when I saw her again, I thought I’d give it one more shot and ask her out. She turned me down right then and there, but when I got home, there was a message on my machine from her. I took her out that weekend and the rest is history. My point is, people forgive mistakes. If Ben isn’t willing to forgive you for something as small as a ‘stupid argument’ then he’s not the right man for you.”

I let Dad’s words sink in and know he’s right. This won’t be the last time I say or do something stupid to piss Ben off either. “You’re right. Thanks, Dad. I actually feel better now.”

“Good.” He gives me a one-armed hug. “Now go upstairs and get some rest. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

“How are you?” Erin asks softly.

“I’m okay, really,” I say, smiling to prove it. I just arrived at the venue, and snuck away to find Erin. She and her sisters just delivered the cake. Everything at the ceremony was beautiful, and the rain held off long enough for us to get a million pictures outside the church and in the garden.

Erin raises an eyebrow.

I sigh and wish the bar would open up already. “Okay, I’m sad. I miss Ben and I’m mad at myself. And there’s nothing like the uniting of two people to remind you how freaking alone you are, either.”

“If not Ben, you’ll find somebody else. Hey, maybe somebody here!”

“Maybe,” I say to appease her positive attitude. I’m still in that “there is no one in the world but Ben” phase. I decided to give myself a full week to feel sad, then force myself out of it. So, basically, I have until tomorrow. Might as well live it up, right? “I should probably go out there, huh?”

“Yeah,” Erin says, checking the time. “Your introductions will start soon.”

I wrinkle my nose. I walked in with Jake’s friend Teddy, who apparently has had a crush on me for years. I just found out today when he got drunk in the limo and spilled his guts as well as tried to cop a feel of my boobs.

“Hang in there,” she says. “And I’ll meet you at the bar as soon as it’s open.” She winks and links her arm though mine. I stay in the fancy lobby while she goes inside the hall to sit next to David. I’m the last bridesmaid to get in line, and Danielle gives me the stink-eye. It’s not like I made them late or anything.

Everyone wants to dance on their way in, and I awkwardly shake it just to fit in. Being the only one not dancing sticks out more, ya know. Thankfully, we get food first, then the speeches start. I just have to make it through the cake cutting and the first dance. Everything is so perfect and I’m really happy for my brother. Knowing Danielle puts up with his lazy ass and makes him so happy changes my mind about her a little more. I want to like her. After all, someday she’ll give birth to my nieces or nephews.

Once I can, I get up and go to the bar to order the “signature drink.” It’s something sweet and purple, and hardly tastes like alcohol.

This can be bad.

Erin and I talk for a while, then she and David hit the dance floor. I get a refill of my cocktail and look out at the happy couples holding each other close as they dance to Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud. The alcohol makes me vulnerable, so what do I do? Keep drinking. Because I’m a champion like that. When my eyes mist over and I’m missing Ben so badly it hurts, I slip outside, walking past the smokers crowding around the door who are quickly inhaling their toxic fumes before someone from the venue sees them. This place is all non-smoking.

I walk to the edge of the covered vestibule and sit on a bench. It’s raining, and dark. The lights in the parking lot are motion censored and no one has come or gone, probably due to the rain. Wind blows little misted droplets of water over my skin. I shiver and wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes.

I hate feeling sad. I hate feeling sorry for myself. But it’s a phase, right? Something everyone goes through after a breakup. I’ll get over it, I’ll move on, and I’ll find someone right for me. Maybe I should really look into online dating…

The rain comes down harder, falling in sheets and flooding the pavement. Thunder rolls over and lightning flashes in the distance. I shiver again and am about to stand and get up when a light turns on in the back of the parking lot. I stare at it, thinking it’s odd that I didn’t hear a car drive up. My mind flashes to Supernatural and Doctor Who, and I wish my life was exciting like that. No time for love or broken hearts. Just rocketing through life at a hundred miles an hour saving people, hunting things … You get the idea.

I sigh and shake my head at myself. I need to be my own hero. Take matters into my own hands and find my own damn happiness. I had before. I can do it again. I turn to leave and a dark shadow catches my eye.

Okay, I really didn’t mean what I just thought. I have no weapons to battle demons or Weeping Angels right now. Then I realize it’s none of those. My mouth goes dry and my heart hammers. It’s worse than fictional characters. Worse, because I have no idea what’s going to happen.

My eyes are wide and time stands still as he walks through the parking lot, umbrella held close to his body but doing little good to keep the blowing rain away. He’s just feet from me and I start to shake.

“Felicity,” Ben says, air leaving his lungs in a whoosh. The umbrella goes slack in his hands when our eyes lock. He slows like he’s shocked to see me, like he’s not expecting to face the reality just yet either. He’s yards away and suddenly I can’t take it.

I run to him, rain rolling down my skin, heels splashing in puddles. He drops the umbrella and pulls me in, lips crushing against mine. He holds onto me like I’m the last woman in the world, like I’m the only one who can keep him together.

And I hold him even tighter.

“Ben,” I whisper, cupping my hands around his face. “What … why…” I stumble over my words. “You’re here.”

“I’m so sorry,” he says.

“No, don’t be. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything I said and I—”

He cuts me off with another kiss. He lifts me up and cradles my head into his face, kissing me as hard as he can. We break apart and move under the awning.

“I tried to call you,” he says, taking both my hands in his.

“My phone,” I start and realize I’m not even sure where it is. In the bridal sweet, I think.

“It’s okay,” he says. “I didn’t expect you to answer.”

I look at his handsome face, tears in my eyes. Was he really here? Did I imagine this, or maybe drink too much and pass out?

“Let’s talk,” Ben says and takes his jacket off, draping it around my shoulders. I pull it closed, scared talking might lead to a final goodbye. “I shouldn’t have left like that and—”

“And I shouldn’t have said those things,” I interrupt. “I’m sorry, Ben. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know,” he says and wraps an arm around me.

“I don’t really think you’re a man whore.”

He chuckles. “Good. And I never got the wrong impression about you. I can’t say I’ve never slept with someone after one date, but I’ve never felt so much passion for anyone before. You’re all I wanted, all I could think about.”

Past tense. Am I overanalyzing again? I close my eyes, pushing back tears. “That’s how I feel about you, and it scared me. Because I didn’t know why you’d feel the same about me. I’m not fancy or put together or on time for anything. I’m just a nerd. I’m not the kind of woman you deserve.”

“I don’t look at you and see a nerd or anything else. I look at you and see Felicity, a beautiful woman who isn’t afraid to let others dictate her life.” He puts his hand on the side of my cheek and tips my head up to him. “I don’t understand why you think you’re nothing special. I’ve never met anyone like you, and I don’t think I ever will again. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want a day to go by that I’m not kissing you, fucking you, waking up next to you and telling you I love you.”

“You really do love me?”

“I do.”

He kisses me, and warmth flows through my entire body. Everything disappears and it’s just us, wind, rain, and storm swirling in the distance.

“Why?” I ask, needing to know.

Ben gives me his famous grin. “Isn’t it obvious?”

I shake my head. “Not to me.”

“You don’t let anything stop you from doing what you love, from being who you are. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met. There’s so much to you, and it’s complex and complicated in the best way possible. And isn’t that what life is about? Coloring outside the lines. Pushing boundaries and testing limits. Not letting anything hold you back. That’s exactly what you are, what you’ve made me do. You are my outside the lines. And I love you.”

Tears prick the corners of my eyes. “I love you too.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you back,” he begins. “I listened to your message, and was going to, then Tuesday my dad fell.”

“Fell?”

“He forgets he needs helps walking and gets up out of his wheelchair. He fell and hit his head on the corner of his nightstand. He was rushed to the hospital, and had to stay at the hospital until Wednesday night. I was there until he got let out, and the cell service in the hospital is horrible. I should have taken a minute to call you, I know. But then too much time passed and I thought I blew my chance.”

“Your dad’s okay?”

“He will be. He’s bruised and sore, and has a few stitches. My mom was—well, still is—a mess though. The whole time I just wanted you there, even though I was pissed. Seeing my parents together, seeing my mom take care of my dad after all these years…it made me think. A lot. I know it’s not easy taking care of him. I know my mom’s life has been reduced to days and nights spend sitting in a chair in a nursing home next to a man who doesn’t always remember her name. She doesn’t have to do it, but she wants to.”

I look into Ben’s dark eyes, and he takes my hands. “That’s what I want,” he confesses. “Ultimately, that’s what life is about, right? Finding someone who will take care you of, who will still love you, no matter how bad it gets. And I know we haven’t been together that long, but I want that person to be you.”

He brushes my wet hair out of my face. “I went to your house Thursday evening because I was scared if I called, you wouldn’t answer. Because I didn’t answer, like an asshole, and I’m sorry. I convinced myself it was over, but when I woke up today, I knew I couldn’t let things end.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I don’t want them to end either.”

“I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I do know I don’t want to think about it if you’re not by my side.”

He holds me against him, and I listen to his heart beating. Lightning flashes above us and we stay tangled together on the bench.

The wind and rain intensify and Ben holds me closer, then leans over to kiss me, not stopping until we both need air.

“Can we pretend this didn’t happen?” I ask as I play with a button on Ben’s shirt.

“That’s fine with me,” he says with a smile. “And to be clear, do you want to officially be my girlfriend?”

I’m smiling back. “Of course.”

He brushes my hair back. “Good.” He kisses me once more. “So is your sister-in-law going to freak out that you’re dripping wet?”

“Nah, we already took the pictures. As far as I know, my job here is done.”

“That’s good to hear.” He slides his hand down and grabs my ass. “Because I want to dance with you.”

“That means I have to go back in looking like this.”

“No it doesn’t.” He takes a step back, putting one hand on my waist. “You can hear the music.”

“All I hear is rain.”

He twirls me around. “That is the music. Dance with me, Felicity?”

My wet hair sticks to my face as I turn my head up. “Of course.”

*

“I could get used to this view,” Ben says, lazily pushing off the large porch swing on the back deck of one of my parent’s cabins.

I sip my coffee, watching the sun come up over Lake Michigan. “It’s easy to get used to. And even easier to miss.”

We stayed at the wedding for a while after Ben showed up, then left so I could go home and change. It was cold being soaked with rain and in the air-conditioning. Plus, Ben and I had some passionate make-up sex to follow through with.

“Did you plan to come back here?”

I take another drink of coffee. After the sex, we stayed up talking, smoothing things out until we both felt better. What happened was the first fight, and we both agreed it wouldn’t be our last. I don’t want it to be our last. Because people fight, people get mad over stupid things, and people even say stupid things they don’t mean.

But they make up.

Because that’s what you do when you love someone.

“I don’t really know,” I confess. “I like Grand Rapids, and it’s not so far I can’t come back here. And I like to travel around. I guess when I imagine myself settling down to pop out a few babies, this town would be nice to call home. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s so far away.”

I rest my head against Ben’s muscular shoulder. The swing slows and Ben pushes his foot on the deck again, keeping us in motion.

“But then again, this is all I know as far as childhood,” I say. “If that makes sense.”

“It does,” he says. “And I moved around so much it’s hard imagining what it would be like to have stayed in one place.”

I nod, thinking how difficult that would have been for me. “We got a few years before either of us need to worry,” I say, then feel embarrassed. “And a few years before we decide if that worry is together or not,” I backpedal.

“Right,” he says. “Not worried yet.” We swing in silence, and I finish my coffee. I set the cup down and twist so I can wrap my arms around Ben. “Tired?” he asks.

“Yes. Want to go inside and lay down?”

“I do, but I don’t want to move.”

I softly laugh. “Same here.”

A few minutes later, we get up and move inside and in bed. Ben’s wearing boxers and nothing else, and I have on his T-shirt and undies. We snuggle close together, hearts beating in sync. I close my eyes, listening to his heart beating.

Everything is right in my world again.

I have what matters. Love. Someone who sees me for exactly who I am and accepts me fully. It hits me then, that this is what life is all about. Not letting anyone confine you, not limiting yourself to fit in. Being you, and being happy.

Living outside the lines.

EPILOGUE

Ben

A year later

Sunlight streams through the large windows in the kitchen, the ones that give a magnificent view of the water behind the house. There’s hardly a cloud in the sky, and the day is already hot. It’s going to be perfect for boating, perfect for going out to that little alcove, the spot that’s become ours. I take my eyes away from the water and pick up my fork, stomach grumbling with hunger but nerves making it hard to eat.

“If you don’t want the rest of your bacon, I’ll eat it,” Felicity says, eyeballing my plate.

I can’t help but smile at her, moving my gaze to her face. We’ve been staying in Cabin 18 again, oversleeping and arriving late for breakfast at her parents again, like usual. Her hair is in a messy braid, her cheeks are slightly sunburned, and her sundress shows off her large tits that are hardly covered in a red and blue bikini top.

She’s beautiful. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and today, I’m going to propose and make her mine for the rest of our lives.

If she says yes, that is.

I don’t know why she wouldn’t. We’ve talked about weddings and getting married and having kids. We’ve even walked through jewelry stores, looking at rings so I would know what she likes. I combined a few of her favorites and came up with the design myself.

I hope she likes it.

“When have I ever not finished bacon?” I ask, raising and eyebrow.

“Hey, there’s a first for everything,” she says and cuts into her pancakes. “Still tired?” she asks, lowering her voice. “I mean, I know I wore you out and all last night…”

“I wore you out,” I shoot back. “How many times did you come?”

She kicks me under the table. “Shush! My mom’s right over there!”

I laugh and look behind me. Her mom is busy washing dishes, unable to hear us talking. Besides, I think I can say anything right now and she wouldn’t care. Being old fashioned, I asked her parents’ permission for their daughter’s hand in marriage.

They gave me their blessing and her mom has been on the verge of ruining the surprise all weekend. And now I’m on the verge of asking her over pancakes, because I want to see that ring on her finger, I want her to know that she’s the one, that I’m never going to let one day go by without her in my life.

I want her to know that I love her more than anything in the entire world.

And yeah, I want to make sure she says yes and feels the same. There’s always a chance when it comes to her. Felicity is full of surprises, which is one of the many things I fucking love about her.

“Ready to get wet?” I ask when we finish eating. She gives me another shut-the-hell-up glare then wiggles her eyebrows and nods. Over a year of being together and the passionate sex hasn’t slowed down. I hope it never does.

“On the water. What did you think I mean? You have such a dirty mind.”

“Oh please, and you don’t.”

We put our dishes in the dishwasher, spend a few minutes talking with her mom. I cringe at how obvious she is, and feel relief when just the two of us finally go outside. The morning is spent riding the jet skis around on the water, not stopping until we’re hungry and ready for lunch.

We’ve gone a few miles from the house, and dock the watercrafts at a lakeside restaurant and eat outside along the water. Then we ride around for another hour before going back to her parent’s house to shower, change, and nap.

We spend the rest of the day on the beach, being lazy and just enjoying each other’s company. Dinner is served late on purpose, and Felicity’s mom asks her to stay inside and help clean up, giving me time to set stuff up by the water.

I move about frantically, getting the bonfire started, and setting up the blankets, wine, and candles. When it’s finally how I want it, I panic and realize I left the ring in my bag back in Cabin 18. I run like a lunatic up the boardwalk, grab it, and run back down before Felicity comes out. I’m panting and out of breath, but not from the short run.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s Felicity’s mom, letting me know Felicity is on her way.

I swallow my pounding heart and wait, watching her dark figure draw closer and closer, until firelight flickers off her beautiful face. She slows as she draws near, taking everything in. She’s smiling and looks slightly terrified at the same time. Not terrified of what’s to come, but terrified she’s getting it wrong.

“Ben?” she asks, voice shaking. “What is all this?”

I go to her, taking her hands and leading her closer to the water. I kiss her, drinking her in and pulling her to me. I can’t help but get turned on the moment our lips touch and I feel her body against mine. I never want to let her go.

“Felicity,” I start, keeping my hands on her. “From the moment I spilled coffee down your shirt, to us standing here right now, I knew we were meant to be. There is no one else I can imagine spending the rest of my life with—you forgave me for mixing up Star Wars and Star Trek, after all—and you’ve made me the happiest man in the world.”

She has tears in her eyes and one hand over her mouth. I reach around and pull the box from my back pocket, dropping down to one knee.

“Will you marry me?”

Her head moves up and down, unable to speak. “Yes,” she says softly as tears roll down her cheeks. I take her left hand and slip the ring on her finger. It’s a perfect fit, thanks to Erin finding out her ring size. Speaking of, she should be arriving at the house soon. Everyone closest to Felicity was in on this in some way, and they are all coming to celebrate.

I stand and pull her to me, kissing her for a few minutes until she pulls away to look at her ring.

“It’s beautiful!” she whispers, turning her hand so the firelight catches off the diamonds.

“I’m glad you think so. I came up with the design.”

She looks at it a minute longer than kisses me again. “So it’s beautiful and one of a kind.”

“It is. Just like you.”