Текст книги "Better Off Friends"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Eulberg

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 13 страниц)

“Have I told you you’re the greatest boyfriend?” Emily pecked me on the cheek as I put up the last of the fake cobwebs in her living room the night of the party.

“Not today.” I winked at her.

She laughed before surveying the room for one last inspection before people arrived. We moved the furniture so there was a large area for people to hang out and maybe dance. We had a table set up on the side that had a punch bowl filled with “green slime” (which was basically green-colored punch), and chips, dip, pretzels, candy, and a lot of room left for Macallan’s food.

Macallan, as with everything, outdid herself. There were mini “mummy” pizzas (where black olives were used as eyes), deviled eggs that had peppers sticking up like horns so the eggs looked like devils, cupcakes decorated with candy corn. And, of course, her famous-to-me pulled pork sandwiches.

“This all looks amazing, Macallan!” Emily hugged her.

Our group had decided to dress up with a Grease theme. The girls were going as the Pink Ladies while the guys were T-Birds. Emily was dressed as Sandy, with a leather jacket and all black with red shoes. Her normally sleek, black hair had been curled and teased beyond recognition. If Emily was Sandy, I guess that made me Danny. The guys had it easy; we only had to get white T-shirts and write T-Birds on them. Some of us had leather jackets – I’d borrowed my dad’s old motorcycle jacket from when he had a motorcycle; Mom had made him get rid of it once she got pregnant with me. The girls took pink T-shirts and wrote Pink Ladies in bubble letters and then wore poodle skirts with matching pink headbands and flip hairdos.

Mr. Dietz, Adam, and Emily’s parents hung out in the kitchen while the party took over the living and dining rooms. Most of the guys who weren’t in our group dressed up as football players or cowboys, which meant a plaid shirt and cowboy hat. It was the girls who’d gone above and beyond: beauty queen pageants, Catholic schoolgirls, or basically anything that required them to dress up and put on a lot of makeup.

Not like I was complaining.

“Hey, California!” Keith called out from his station in front of the TV. “You’re up.”

He threw me a gaming remote and I plunked down next to him.

We played video games for an hour or so. Every once in a while, he’d give me grief about my accent, my outfit (which was the exact same as his), my hair (which had been short for two months, but Keith had failed to notice), and pretty much anything I said. But I ate it up. This was how Keith treated his friends.

“Dude, next weekend. My house. You in?” Keith said after I finally beat him at a boxing game.

I had no idea what next weekend was or what we’d be doing at his house, but I agreed.

I had a girlfriend, an amazing best friend, and was finally becoming one of the guys.

Things were starting to look up.

Don’t think I’m not offended that you were so desperate for some bro time.

Dude, you know I didn’t mean it that way.

Dude. You make it seem like I forced you to have tea parties with my dolls and braid my hair.

You did start spending a lot of time in the kitchen.

That’s funny. I don’t remember hearing you complain while you were eating all the food I was making.

That’s because you’re the best cook in the state of Wisconsin. If not the entire culinary world.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Don’t I know it.

Having your two best friends date wasn’t as awkward as I’d thought it would be.

It was much, much worse.

The first month was a little uncomfortable. I had to watch what I said about one when I was with the other. Then one of them would pump me for information. Sometimes I had to be the go-between. I was even the third wheel on a lot of the first dates.

One time I went to get some popcorn before the start of a movie, only to discover them kissing (or, more accurately, sucking face) when I got back. I froze, not knowing what to do. For a split second, I debated turning around and ramming my head against the wall in hopes that I would get amnesia. Instead, I cleared my throat very loudly and they slowly peeled away. Thankfully, the lights dimmed down as I settled back in my seat, so I didn’t have to make eye contact with either of them. I wasn’t sure who should’ve been more embarrassed.

By the time November rolled around, Levi and Emily were inseparable. They were constantly holding hands and I swear I once saw them rubbing their noses together between classes.

I tried desperately to not be bitter. It wasn’t that I wanted a boyfriend, but I couldn’t help feel a slight sting when they didn’t want me around. Instead of being a necessity, I was a hindrance. Anytime I asked one of them to do something, they already had plans with each other. And I wasn’t included.

Sometimes I even wished they would break up. But then I figured that would make things even worse. What if I was forced to pick sides?

There was no way for me to get things back to normal.

So instead I spent more time with Danielle. “They’re getting pretty serious, huh?” Danielle asked me as we waited in line to see a movie the week before winter break, just the two of us.

“Yeah.” I was also getting tired of having to be the happy couple’s spokesperson.

Danielle hesitated a second. “Don’t you think …” She looked around to make sure we didn’t know anybody. “Don’t you think Emily’s kind of slipped away a bit? I mean, I know she wants to spend time with her boyfriend. Duh. But she’s never strayed this far from us. It’s a bit much, you know?”

Yes, I did know. And times that by two for me. The only reason I still saw Levi on Wednesdays was that Emily had cheer practice.

“It is a little much.” I only allowed myself to admit it to Danielle.

“Although, let’s be honest, you’ll probably have to remind me of this conversation when I finally get a boyfriend,” she said dryly.

I tried to give her an understanding nod, although that just wasn’t one of my priorities.

“Speak of the devils.” I followed Danielle’s gaze to the concession stand, where Levi had his arm draped around Emily. She leaned into his side and laughed at something he was saying.

I really liked Levi, I really did. But he was not as funny as Emily always pretended he was.

I groaned. “Do you think they’re seeing the same movie as us?”

Dread came over me that I’d have to watch the Emily and Levi Make-Out Hour instead of the new Paul Grohl romantic comedy.

Danielle apparently read my mind. “Maybe we can sneak by them and sit toward the front?”

“Sounds good.” We grabbed our tickets and headed toward the theater with our heads down. I felt my heartbeat pulsing quickly.

“Hey, guys!” I froze in my tracks upon hearing Emily’s voice. For a split second, I debated pretending to not hear her, but Danielle was already heading over.

“Hey!” Danielle said cheerfully. “What are you guys doing here?”

I made a mental note to encourage Danielle to join the drama club.

Emily laughed. “Seeing a movie, silly!”

“Really? You didn’t come here solely for the popcorn?” Danielle shot back.

“We’re seeing The Salem Reckoning.” Emily pretended to get chills down her spine. “Fortunately, I have this one to hold me tight.” She beamed at Levi.

In the many years I’d known Emily, she’d always refused to watch a horror movie. Even the cheesy, so-bad-it’s-funny kind. But I guessed she’d use whatever excuse she could get for PDL (public displays of Levi).

“Cool,” Danielle said in a way that you could tell she found it the opposite of cool. “Well, I need to hit the little girls’ room before I watch Paul Grohl be romantic and dashing for ninety minutes.”

“I’ll join you!” Emily grabbed Danielle by the arm and headed toward the restrooms.

“Hey!” Levi finally acknowledged my existence.

“Hey.” I decided not to act like it wasn’t awkward.

“Listen,” he began. “I was thinking that maybe on Wednesday we could go grab a bite to eat and do some shopping. I totally need help picking out what to get my mom for Christmas.”

I let the icicles that were beginning to form around me melt a little. He was making an effort. He was also asking me to help him with his mom’s gift because I knew her better. I knew him better. Maybe I was being a little harsh. I wasn’t being replaced. Because that was really what I thought was happening.

I was being foolish. Levi would never replace me.

We’d solidified our plans by the time Emily and Danielle came back from the restroom.

“Ready?” Emily grabbed Levi’s hand.

“Yeah.” Levi winked at me. “Have fun!”

“You too,” I replied.

And I meant it.

Levi and Emily weren’t the problem. My attitude was. Clearly, there was something wrong with me that I got threatened the second my two best friends didn’t give me one hundred percent of their attention.

I knew right then what my New Year’s resolution would be: to stop being so needy.

Once I gave myself an attitude adjustment, I began to smile whenever I saw Levi and Emily together. I remembered reading somewhere that if you smile at something, it automatically makes you happier.

So whenever Levi or Emily would bring up the other, I’d smile.

Soon it became an automatic response.

Levi and I were walking around the mall, our hands full of shopping bags. “So I was telling Emily” – SMILE! – “that I still haven’t gotten used to this weather. I know everybody said last winter was particularly brutal, but I think this year’s even worse. Like, negative degrees? How can it be so cold that the temperature doesn’t even exist? Or, like, it’s less than zero? How is that even possible? At least Emily has promised to keep me warm.”

SMILE! I didn’t know what else to do. I had to play a role, a happier version of myself so he wanted to still spend time with me.

Levi took my silence as an invitation to continue. “Yeah, so I was also kinda hoping you could help me pick out something for Emily.”

SMILE!

“Oh, awesome!” Levi replied.

Even though I didn’t say anything, my stupid grin made it seem like I’d be more than happy to help him pick out a gift.

Levi led me to a jewelry store. “You’re so cool. I didn’t know if it’d be weird to ask you. But who knows Emily better than you?”

He had a point. I didn’t understand why I was freaking out over this. He was still the same Levi. It had only been a matter of time before one of us would start dating somebody. And in a way, this would stop people from thinking we were an item.

“Of course I’ll help pick something,” I conceded. “What were you thinking?”

“Well, I was here last week with my mom and saw this necklace and wanted to get your opinion.” He led me over to a glass case full of different silver and gold necklaces. He pointed to one that was in the middle. “This one, but with an E.”

My heart dropped when I saw which one he was referring to. It was a silver necklace with a small round pendant with the letter P engraved on it.

I took a few steps back. It felt like the floor was unsteady.

I heard Levi asking me if I was okay, but I couldn’t concentrate. Everything around me was a blur. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, I couldn’t really do anything.

“I can’t breathe, I need to …” I stumbled out of the store and quickly sat on the floor near a fountain. I put my head between my knees and tried to steady my breath.

“Macallan, what’s wrong?” Levi’s voice cracked. “Please, talk to me.”

Sobs started to come out. I had trouble catching my breath. I needed to breathe. I needed to calm down and breathe.

But I couldn’t. Just when I thought I was getting better, something always knocked me on my side. And it was always, always when I least expected it.

“Macallan?” He took out his phone. “Mr. Dietz, I’m with Macallan, I don’t know what’s going on. I think she’s having some sort of panic attack.”

Not my father, I thought. Please don’t bring my dad into this.

I somehow found the strength to reach out and touch Levi’s leg.

“Wait, she’s getting my attention.” Levi kneeled down. “Your dad wants to talk to you.”

Levi lifted the receiver to my ear. “Calley, sweetie, what is it?” My father’s voice was so worried. I hated that I was doing this to him. “Please talk to me.”

“It … was …” I tried to calm myself down, but hearing Dad’s voice made it worse. I took a deep breath. “Tell him about the necklace.”

It was all I could get out, but enough for Dad to understand.

I watched Levi listen to what Dad was telling him. His face went white.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” His voice was so low and quiet. “I didn’t know.” I couldn’t tell if he was apologizing to Dad or me. Probably both.

Of course he didn’t know. How could he have? How could he have known that my mom had worn a very similar necklace with the letter M that my dad gave her the day they brought me home from the hospital? How could he have known that she wore it every single day? How could he have known that she died wearing it? That she was buried with it?

Levi hung up the phone and sat down next to me. He put his arm around me, and I leaned against his shoulder. “Your dad is on his way. I’m so sorry, Macallan. I’m so sorry that I didn’t know. I’m so sorry that I had to remind you of something so hurtful. I’m so sorry I don’t know how to help you with this big part of your life. If it’s even possible. I’m so sorry that I don’t know what to say right now.”

He paused for a second, but just having him there, having him near me, was what I needed. “I know I’ve been a total idiot lately and haven’t really been around. And I’m sorry for that, too. I know I don’t know a lot, but what I do know is that I’m going to be here. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, you know you can count on me, don’t you? Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. You do know that, right?”

I don’t think I truly knew it for sure until that very instant. And even though my heart was being ripped apart by the memory of my mother, I let Levi’s kind gesture help patch it.

I realized it was time for Levi to meet someone.

We were bundled up as we made our way up the hill. Levi had been quiet on the ride over. I wasn’t sure how he would react, but I knew it was time for me to open up to him.

We approached our destination. Levi a few paces behind me, his head down.

“Levi, I’d like you to meet my mom.” I stood next to her gray marble gravestone. “Mom, this is Levi. I told you about him.” I brushed off some of the snow that was on top of the stone.

“Hi,” Levi said softly.

“Come sit.” I took out a blanket and laid it on the cold ground. “I wanted to bring you here so I could tell you a little about my mom.” My voice started to quiver. This was what I’d been afraid of. It was really hard to talk about Mom without getting sad. But the therapist I saw after she died said it was important for me to talk about her. To share my memories of her with other people.

I wished Levi could’ve met my mom. She would’ve loved him.

“She …” I began, but felt the sting behind my eyes.

“It’s okay,” Levi said. “You don’t have to if it’s too hard.”

“I want to.”

“Can I start?” he asked. “Um, Mrs. Dietz, I’m Levi. I’m sure Macallan has told you all about me. And, well, none of it’s true, unless she told you I’m awesome.”

A small, grateful laugh escaped my throat.

“Yeah, I met her on the first day of school and you should know how nice she was to me. I’ve seen pictures of you at the house, so I know where she got her looks. And, um, she’s a ridiculous student. It’s kinda annoying really.” He looked worriedly at me. “Is this okay?”

I liked that he was having a conversation with Mom as he would if she were here. “Yeah, it’s great.”

“Okay, so, like, when I first met her, I thought she hated me. You see, I had this long hair and I’m pretty sure she thought I was a hippie or something. But then she found out that I also liked this show, Buggy and Floyd.” He looked up from the ground. “Does she know what I’m talking about?”

I nodded. It made me happy that he used the present tense with Mom.

“Yeah, and from there we just kinda clicked. She’s really the only person who’s gone out of her way to make me feel at home. So thank you, Mrs. Dietz, for raising your daughter the way you did. She’s awesome and I know that’s because of you. I wish I could’ve met you, but I guess I have in a way. Because of Macallan. And just so you know, I’ll do my best to protect her. And be there for her. Even if she does have the worst taste in football teams.”

“Hey!” I swatted at him. “Mom’s a huge Packers fan. He’s only teasing, Mom.”

He wrapped his gloved hand around mine. “It’s okay that I joked?”

“Yes, she always jokes around.”

“What else does she like?”

And that was all it took. For the next hour, I told Levi all about my mom. All I could remember. I laughed at so many of the memories. And not once did another tear fall. I still ached for her, but talking about her was keeping her alive inside of me.

I had no doubt that Mom was looking down at us and smiling.

Everything changed after that.

Maybe change wasn’t the best word. But Levi and I were closer than ever.

Between my breakdown at the mall and the visit with Mom, Levi went above and beyond to make sure we spent time together.

It wasn’t as if Levi put Emily aside for me. He knew he didn’t have to make that kind of choice. He became more aware of how he was acting. The decisions he made. Whom he chose to spend time with.

Even though we constantly texted, he would call me at least once a day while he was in California during the holidays.

“I know how happy this is going to make you,” Levi said during his call on New Year’s Eve. “Everybody here is complaining about how much I’m talking about back home.”

“Do we think you have a case of the grass is always greener?” I asked.

He laughed. “Probably. But mostly the guys want to see more pictures of the coolest chick alive.”

“You better be talking about me.”

“Clearly. Even if said chick is having a rockin’ party without me.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who decided to spend the holidays two thousand miles away. And the party isn’t going to be rockin’ with everybody’s parents there.”

My dad had thought it would be fun to host a New Year’s Eve party. So he invited some of his friends and their kids, and I got to invite my friends and their parents. At first I didn’t think anybody would want to come to a party with their parents, but I guess it was the only way any of us would’ve been able to properly celebrate the ringing in of the New Year.

I had to hang up on Levi to get ready for our guests. Emily and Danielle came early to help me with the food. I made baked ziti, fettuccine Alfredo with chicken, spaghetti with turkey meatballs, garlic bread, and chopped salad.

Thankfully, the kids were relegated to the basement, so we got to have some privacy. I felt a little bad for Trisha and Ian, who were the kids of my dad’s friends, since they didn’t really know us. Trisha had moved from Minneapolis, and Ian was a year older than us. When I’d heard he was coming, I immediately thought he’d be upset being stuck with young kids, but he came downstairs with a smile on his face and introduced himself to everybody. Trisha stayed in the corner watching TV with Emily’s younger sister and Danielle’s brother for the first hour or so.

“I wish Levi was here.” Emily sulked. “Now who am I going to kiss at midnight?”

“Don’t look at me,” Danielle teased. “I’m going to try to work my magic on that freshman. He’s a hottie. Off to show him my winning personality.” Danielle went over and sat down next to Ian.

“You don’t think Levi’s going to be with a girl tonight?” Emily asked me.

“No, he’s hanging with his bros,” I reassured her. I’d had to do that every day since Levi had left. I knew he could be trusted. He wasn’t the cheating kind.

“What’s up, guys?” Troy came over with a plate full of chips. “Are we going to break open any of these games or what?”

Emily smiled at him. “Good idea! Games!”

She guided Troy over to the table where we had some old-school board games set out.

Emily’s sister grabbed checkers and brought them over to Danielle’s brother on the other side of the room, where they set up shop.

“Oh, they’re too cool to hang out with their older siblings.” Emily laughed. “I remember being in fifth grade and thinking I was da bomb.”

Troy looked up from the game of Monopoly he was examining. “I don’t know – I think you’re da bomb now.”

Emily threw her head back and let out that exaggerated giggle she did around guys.

Troy scratched his head, leaving his wavy brown hair sticking up in places. His smile was so big, I noticed for the first time that he had a dimple in his right cheek.

But for some reason, I had a feeling it wasn’t the first time Emily had noticed this. After all, he’d been her crush before Levi.

“Oh, you.” Emily swatted at his hand. Then she nervously twisted up her long hair and let it fall back in place. She finally brought her attention back to me. “Do you want to see if anybody else wants to join us or …”

At first, I thought she was trying to get rid of me. But then I realized I was being paranoid. Emily was inviting others to join them, which was something I should’ve been doing. In an effort to be a good hostess, I went over to the sectional where Danielle, Ian, and Trisha were sitting. “Do you guys want to play a game or watch a movie? We still have two hours until midnight. Or I can get you some more food from upstairs.”

“A movie would be cool,” Trisha answered.

“Okay. You guys can pick it out.”

Danielle joined Trisha while she went through the movie selection.

Ian got up. “I think I’ll grab us some more food.”

I went upstairs with him. We heard the parents’ laughter filling the living room. It seemed like they were having a more rockin’ time than we were.

“I can’t believe you made all this food,” Ian said when we got to the kitchen. He took another big helping of the ziti. “It’s so good.”

“Thanks.” I put some more garlic bread in the oven. “I really like doing it.”

“I can tell you this much – you aren’t going to like the food in the cafeteria next year.”

I debated asking him more about high school, but I didn’t want to seem so … young. “I guess I’ll start packing my lunches, then” was the only way I could think to respond.

He took a big forkful of pasta. His dark hair fell in front of his eyes briefly before he whipped his head to the side.

“Yeah, and if you need any advice on what classes to take next year or teachers to avoid, just ask.” He smiled broadly at me, a speck of tomato sauce staining his upper lip.

“Thanks.” I realized I wasn’t adding much to the conversation. I’d apparently forgotten how to talk to guys who weren’t Levi. It wasn’t that I never talked to guys; it was that I never felt compelled to make small talk solely for the sake of small talk.

Ian helped me cut up the bread and we brought some out to the adults, who were all busy having a debate over politics. When we got back down to the basement, we found Danielle and Trisha watching Sixteen Candles.

“I’ve never seen this movie before,” Ian said as he plunked down on the couch next to me.

“It’s a classic,” Trisha told him. “My mom was apparently obsessed with it when she was my age.”

I looked around the room. “Where did Emily and Troy go?”

Danielle took a piece of garlic bread from Ian’s plate. “You didn’t see them? They went upstairs to get something.”

“Oh.” We must’ve missed them when we were in the kitchen.

The four of us sat back and watched Sixteen Candles with occasional commentary on the fashion and the hair.

“You should see this photo of my mom.” Danielle laughed. “She had, like, these tight ringlets in her hair and, like, her bangs stuck up about a foot. She swears it was cool back then, but I don’t know what planet that would be considered anything but a hot mess.”

“At least some decent music came from that time,” Ian offered.

“Yeah,” I agreed as I shut off the movie. I glanced at the clock. “We have fifteen minutes ’til the New Year!”

We turned on the TV to watch the ball drop at Times Square. It was only two years ago that I’d realized they delayed the feed from New York City an hour for the central time zone. Before then I’d thought they redid the ball drop for every time zone. I’d thought that was the coolest, to get to celebrate the New Year four times.

“Okay, seriously. Where are Emily and Troy?” Danielle asked.

I’d almost forgotten about them. “They probably got caught up in the grown-up talk. I’ll go save them.”

I went upstairs and didn’t see them in the kitchen or the living room. I checked the powder room and they weren’t there. I went upstairs and saw that my bedroom door was closed.

Never did it dawn on me that I should’ve knocked. Why would I have knocked on my own door?

“Hey, Em, are you guys —” I froze at what I saw.

Emily and Troy were kissing on my bed.

They both bolted upright. “Oh, hey, we were, um …” Emily bit her lip, probably trying to think of a lie that I’d believe. And I desperately wanted to hear something that would make me think I hadn’t just witnessed my best friend cheating on my other best friend.

Troy said the smartest thing he could at a time like this. “I’m going to head downstairs.”

Emily and I were silent after he left. Only the sound of laughter from the oblivious adults could be heard.

Emily finally spoke. “I know.”

“You know?”

“I was stupid, it’s just … it’s New Year’s Eve. I’m at a party. Is it so wrong that I wanted to have some fun?” She sank back onto my bed and put her head in her hands. “You can’t tell Levi.”

I couldn’t think of a response. I was so shocked at how quickly the evening had changed.

She finally looked at me. “Can you please say something? Anything?”

I was afraid to open my mouth because I had no idea what would come out. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. “How could you?”

Emily shook her head. “I don’t know. I mean, you know I used to like Troy. And we were flirting while we were playing, and I think he’s cute. You know I used to like him.”

“You have a boyfriend. And need I remind you that he’s my best friend.”

“I thought I was your best friend.”

“You both are.” But in that instant I certainly felt closer to Levi.

“Levi’s great. But he’s not here.” Emily sank back on my bed, her feet dangling toward the floor. It was a position we’d both been in often. A physical position. This awkward emotional position I was currently in was a first. And not one I cared to repeat.

“So that makes it okay?” I asked.

“No, it doesn’t.” I was relieved that this was her answer. “I’m confused, that’s all.”

“About what?”

“Everything.” She started to tear up. “I’m getting freaked out over next year. I don’t think you realize how much things will change. Everything’s going to change. It already has.”

I sat down next to her so we were both staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. “Emily, you’ve got to let this go. You’re not your sister.”

“You know what happened with her. You saw. Cassie had all these friends when she was our age. Then she went to that big school and got lost. She’d come straight home freshman year and go into her bedroom to cry.”

“But your sister’s a lot quieter than you. You’re more outgoing. You’d never be lost. And you have me.” I wanted to add that trying to date the entire male population at our school at the same time wasn’t going to make things better for her, but I knew this wasn’t the time. What she needed was reassurance. “Not everything is going to change.”

“Our group will be broken up. I used to be your only best friend, and don’t think it hasn’t hurt me that you’ve been spending more time with Levi.”

I couldn’t believe she was trying to turn this on me. Yes, I spent a lot of time with Levi. But she was the one who canceled plans with me to spend more time with him.

“And I get worried for you, Macallan. I do. Levi’s great. But when he gets to high school, do you think he’s going to be fine hanging out with only you? He’s going to have all these friends, and I don’t want you to be left alone.”

“I didn’t think I was going to be left alone.” My throat tightened. “I thought you were my best friend, too.” I turned my head in time to see her cringe.

“I am your best friend. But sometimes I question where your loyalty lies.”

I stayed motionless on my bed, repeating Emily’s words in my head. This was an impossible situation – was she really asking me to make an even more impossible choice? A knot began forming in my stomach. Could I really choose between the two? I’d known Emily for as long as I could remember. She was always happy to lend a hand when I needed girly advice. She had been there for me during the absolute worst time in my life.

Maybe Emily was right. Maybe I had been neglecting her since Levi had come to town. But did that make what she was asking me okay? Levi and his family had meant the world to me the past eighteen months. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. But I felt the same about Emily.

Why was this landing all on me? This was exactly the situation I’d been worried about when they’d started dating. What would happen after they broke up?

I tried to keep my voice steady. “Are you giving me an ultimatum? That I need to be loyal to you?”

“I don’t know what I’m saying.” Emily sat up. “I’m obviously really confused. I’m so sorry. I feel horrible. I don’t want to come between you and Levi, and I don’t want Levi to come between us.”

Yeah, I thought, you’re one kissing session too late on that one.

Just then, I heard everybody downstairs counting down. While they happily rang in the New Year, I was trying to figure out how to salvage the two most important relationships in my life.

A “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” chorus erupted below.

“Hey!” Emily hugged me as I got up. “Happy New Year, Macallan! Can we make a fresh start? I promise to figure out what to say to Levi. I don’t want you to worry about it. It’s my problem, not yours.”

All I could do was hope she was right.

Emily got up off the bed and clapped her hands. “Come on, Macallan! It’s the New Year, a new start, a new beginning! Anything’s possible.”

I felt a sense of dread envelop me. Because anything was possible. But those last ten minutes had made me realize that maybe that wasn’t a good thing.