Текст книги "The Lonely Hearts Club"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Eulberg

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My phone started to ring. Of course it was him. When it stopped ringing, Tracy opened it back up and started pressing buttons. 'I'm changing his name to Jackass' and putting his ringer and indicator to silence. Maybe that will shut him up."

"Ah, thanks," I finally managed to get out. Why couldn't Tracy bounce back like that when guys treated her like crap?

Diane smiled. "See, Tracy – it's pretty obvious that dating guys gives you nothing but a headache. it's so stupid – I know

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a couple of girls in cheerleading that are dating guys just because they want to have a date for Homecoming." Diane looked up at me. "Hey, Penny, could we go to Homecoming together?"

"What?" I was still looking at my phone.

"Homecoming, you . . . me?"

"Ok Oh! Hells, yeah!"

"Seriously," Tracy said as she got up and put my phone in my desk drawer, "I mean seriously, you guys are going to Homecoming together?"

I turned my attention back to the Club. "Of course!" I replied. "this is what the Club is all about. We don't need dates to have fun."

"Oh, I love it!" Diane got up and started doing her little cheerleaderly clap. "And, I'm totally going to buy you roses on Valentines Day. I'm going to make all those stupid boys jealous!" She gave me a wink.

Tracy groaned and put her head underneath a pillow.

"Tracy, I'm really sorry about this, and I know you aren't happy with the Club, but try to see it my way."

Tracy emerged from the pillow. "No," she said, "I'm groaning because I'm totally giving in. Happy? is your club ready for a third member?"

I hesitated. As much as I wanted her to be part of this, I wanted her to do it because she believed in it, not because she felt left out.

"Are you sure?"

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She nodded. "Yes. I mean, hey, it isn't really going to change anything for me, when you think about it."

Diane gave Tracy a hug . . and, surprisingly, Tracy didn't punch her in the face.

I guess this could've been considered a pretty good start.

"to the Lonely Hearts Club!" I stuck out my hand and Tracy and Diane followed.

"the Lonely Hearts Club!"

I ran over to my stereo and blasted the Beatles.

Tracy danced over to me. "So, if I have to pretend to be a Beatle, can I be Yoko?"

She knew how to egg me on so bad. I leaned over, grabbed a pillow from my bed, and threw it at her. it hit her perfectly in the face. "Hey.'"

Tracy chased after me as I dodged her pillows. it took Diane a few minutes to decide what to do, so Tracy took advantage of her indecisiveness and landed a pillow blow right to her abdomen. Diane looked at Tracy in complete shock.

"Your little pom-poms aren't gonna do you any good here, Monroe," Tracy taunted. With that, Diane jumped over my desk chair and bombarded Tracy with an assault of cushions until my bedroom was destroyed.

When Diane finally caught her breath, she said, "You have to admit – this Club definitely isn't going to be boring."

Tracy rolled over on her stomach. "And we haven't even gotten to the sacrificing of live goats – and guys – yet!"

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chapter Thirteen

TRIED TO GET MY BOOKS for Spanish class as quickly as possible on Monday morning, wondering how I'd be able to avoid Todd, even though we were conversation partners.

"Chesney!" I heard Ryan call out.

Great.

I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders. I looked up to see Todd, smiling. "Hey there, Margarita – how killer was Saturday night?"

I smiled weakly at him.

"You totally should've stayed longer."

"Oh, yeah," Ryan replied with a smirk. "What did she miss}"

Todd, looked down at the floor as if he was genuinely trying to remember.

"that's what I thought." Ryan smiled and gave me a wink. "Good luck, Penny."

Ryan headed to class, shaking his head.

Todd, still had his arm around my shoulder, and I picked up my stride to step out of it,

"Whoa, slow down!" Todd, put his arm around my waist. "Your boy is still recovering from the weekend."

"Um, I actually have to talk to Senora Coles before class

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starts about., urn, something." I took his hand off my waist and practically ran to class.

I wondered if it would've been too subtle to wear a T-shirt that said thank you for your interest, but I am no longer dating.

I knew Todd, wasn't a huge fan of reading, but he did like to stare at my shirts.

"I have sort of a weird question to ask," Morgan said to me as we walked to Bio.

"Um, okay?"

"Have you ever asked a guy out?"

"No, why?"

She slowed down. "Well, I'm interested in somebody, but he's a little shy, so I don't think he'd ever make the first move."

"Oh." So much for asking Morgan to join the Club. "Im not really the best person to talk to about guys. I've sorta given them up after, well, you know . . ."

"Oh, right. Sorry." She bit her bottom lip.

"that's okay. Who's the guy?" I asked as we walked into class.

Morgan motioned to the boy sitting in the first row of the room.

I saw senior Tyson Bellamy hunched over his chair, his hair covering his face as he furiously wrote something in his notebook.

"Isn't he cute?" Morgan blushed. Tyson looked up toward the front of the room with an intense look on his face.

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Even if I were interested in guys, Tyson really wasn't my type – long black hair, super skinny, vintage rock T-shirts. Basically, he had the whole mysterious rocker thing down to a science. Besides the fact that he was a pawn for the devil (being a guy and all), he seemed right for Morgan, who was a total punk-rock fanatic. She was one of my few friends who understood the cultural importance of the Beatles.

"Would you go to one of his concerts with me on Friday?"

I wasn't in the mood to play matchmaker, but after all the drama with Tracy at last week's football game, I didn't mind having an excuse to not go to this week's away game,

"Sure – but, Morgan, I'm not going to be a good wing girl."

She laughed. "But you're my concert buddy. You have to go with me. We don't even have to talk to any guys. Just listen to the music. then we can leave."

Sounded like the perfect night to me.

"So, are we going to have rules for the anti-guy Club?" Tracy asked at lunch.

"It's called the Lonely Hearts Club!' I reminded her.

"Uh-huh. And are we going to have to wear matching T-shirts or chastity belts or something? I can't watt to see that logo."

"Tracy –"

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"I think having rules or guidelines or a mantra of some sort would be fun," Diane chimed in, interrupting what could've been the Club's first official fight.

Since the weather was still nice, we'd decided to eat outside. I leaned against a big oak tree as I ate my apple.

Tracy sat up. "Oh, please, let me write the rules. it'll be so much fan!"

"Fine," I said. "Do what you want. , ,"

Tracy grabbed her notebook and started writing some suggestions. I leaned back against the trunk of the tree and closed my eyes,

"All right, I'll put together a draft and present it at our official meeting on Saturday night!' Tracy yammered. "Sound good, boss?"

What had I gotten myself into?

"Hey, guys – what's going on?" Morgan asked as she and Kara joined us.

"It's our new Club," I said.

Kara looked at Tracy's notebook. "the Lonely Hearts Club?"

"the three of us have decided to not date the idiot boys at this school... or any school for that matter." I smiled.

Morgan's eyes got wide, "You weren't kidding about having a ban on boys?"

"Nope!"

"I don't get it" Kara said.

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"There really isn't much to get," I explained. "I've just had it with guys. they've done nothing but cause me, and my friends, problems."

Diane and Tracy nodded.

"So you really aren't going to date, ever?"

"Not ever, just not while I'm here."

"Oh." Kara looked down at her water. With the way she'd been treated by guys like Todd, in the past, you would've thought she'd understand.

Morgan stared at me. "Do you hate me for wanting to go to the concert?"

"No, not at all," I promised her. "I just meant that I wasn't the right person to encourage you to go on a date with anybody, since I'm pretty sure Tyson is probably the spawn of Satan."

"What's wrong with Tyson?" Morgan got defensive.

"Well, he's a guy . . ."

Tracy spoke up. "I think they get the point, Pen."

"Hey, Tracy," Jen Leonard called out from the next tree over. "What are you guys talking about? if you're bashing guys, I've got some stories for you."

Tracy motioned her over. "Join us, my friend. Let our leader Penny show you the way." Tracy ...

Jen and Amy Miller, both fellow juniors who I'd been friendly with since grade school, came over. they were

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inseparable best friends who on the surface seemed very different. Jen was the jock, captain of most of the girls teams, and could be a little intense, while Amy was very preppy and usually had a dress or blazer on, like she was going to work in an office instead of going to school,

Tracy excitedly filled them in on the details of the Club. Morgan and Kara just stayed silent the entire time. I'm sure they were probably wondering what they'd gotten themselves into.

"Watt!' Amy asked. "I thought you mentioned today in Art that you're going shopping for Homecoming dresses. Who are you going to Homecoming with?"

"Were going with each other," I explained. "We figure it will be a lot more fun than going with guys who will ditch us to talk about whatever it is that guys talk about!'

"Jock itch!' Tracy offered with a smirk.

Both Amy and Jen looked at each other. Amy then looked at us and said, "that sounds cool to me . . . can I join?"

"Amy!" Jen protested. "Are you seriously going to decide to not date for the next two years, just like that?"

Amy flipped her long, wavy black hair. "Please, this is such an easy decision. I've had it with all these guys at school, especially after what Brian Reed did to me in seventh grade."

Tracy and I exchanged confused looks.

"What did Brian do?" I asked.

Amy's eyes widened. "You mean you don't remember? '

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I shook my head.

She sighed. "Well, it was a while ago. But I always think about it because nothing has changed with guys since then. I mean, they're so juvenile."

"What happened?" Kara rejoined the conversation.

Amy sat up. "Well, Brian and I were dating – and I use the term dating loosely. He'd walk me home from school every once in a while, and then on Friday nights we'd go to the arcade where I watched him play video games. One day, out of the blue, he walks up to me at lunch and in front of everybody, he says, 'Roses are red. Violets are blue. Garbage gets dumped, and now so have you.' All of the stupid jerks at the jock table just sat there and laughed."

"Oh, watt, I do remember that," Diane said softly. "Brian can be such a jerk."

"I was traumatized all year. All the dumb jocks threw trash at me when I walked by. I still to this day have no idea what I did to deserve that. And then the other day, Brian had the nerve to talk to me, as if he hadn't completely humiliated me and ruined my entire seventh grade."

Jen rubbed Amy's shoulder. "I had no idea it still upset you so much."

"I was twelve – it totally traumatized me," Amy replied, "And believe me, I'm over it now. But that started my disastrous experiences with guys. the other stories aren't even worth repeating. I'm more than happy to banish these idiots from my memory."

Jen looked at Amy in shock. "But..."

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Amy put her hand up to silence Jen. "Please – look at you! You've gotten screwed over more than I have."

"No, I–"

"Josh Fuller."

At the sound of Josh's name, Jen sank down on the lawn.

"Who's Josh Fuller?" Diane asked as she patted Jen's knee.

Jen ran her hands through her short blond hair. "He's the guy who broke my heart. We both coached basketball at park and rec this summer, and he ., ."

"He jerked her around," Amy finished. "He flirted with her constantly, led her on, even took her out on a date – and then he just stopped. He continued with the flirting, but there never was a second date. instead, he would parade a different bimbo around the park every week, then tell Jen how hot she was. He just –"

"Enough," Jen said. "they get the point." She shook her head. "It's so stupid, but I hadn't really met a guy who I really clicked with before, and it all seemed to be there with him. It was too good to be true."

I nodded, knowing exactly how Jen felt.

I started to feel a surge of energy, "Come on, Jen, join us," I said. "We don't need them, do we?"

Jen smiled. "We sure as hell don't."

"Nice!" Diane nodded in approval. "We are up to five members. Kara? Morgan?"

Both Kara and Morgan had spent the last few minutes in silence.

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"Um, I have a date to Homecoming .,." Kara said, looking down at her uneaten lunch. "Ah . .."

"that's okay ..," Diane offered.

'And, ah." Morgan was clearly uncomfortable, "I'm sorry guys, I just need to . . ,"

"No worries, seriously," I assured them. "I understand it's a lot. When you're ready, we'll be here."

Knowing the guys at our school, I didn't think it would take that long for them to decide to join us.

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chapter Fourteen

THANK GOD TODD, CHESNEY sucked at Spanish.

He'd been trying to hit on me and ask me to Homecoming all week, but since his Spanish was so bad, I just looked at him, confused, and pretended that I didn't know what he was talking about. And since Todd, was so bad in class, he believed me.

Just before the bell rang on Thursday morning, I started my usual routine of grabbing my books and running out of class.

"Whoa, hold up, Margarita," Todd, grabbed my arm before I got a chance to dash into the hallway.

"Huh?" I tried to sound surprised.

"I need to talk with you." Todd, followed me into the hallway. "So I was thinking . . ."

Oh, this was going to be bad.

"... that you and I should, ya know, go to Homecoming together,"

He stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked at me. Although he was a few inches taller than me and was who-knew-how-many-pounds bigger, he looked a little timid. it almost made me feel bad enough to say yes. Almost

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"Oh, wow, Todd,, wow." I tried to sound surprised, "I actually have plans for Homecoming already."

"Who are you going with?" A hard edge seeped into his voice. "Bauer?"

"Ryan? No, why would you – never mind." that threw me off

"Every chick in this school is watting around for Bauer to ask her to Homecoming. He better ask someone ASAP." He folded his arms, looking impatient.

"Uh-huh. Well, see, I'm not going with a guy. I'm going with some friends, that's all,"

"Why would you want to do that?" He looked confused. "You know what, Penny – if you don't want to go with me you should just say so,"

"No, it's not that, I really am –"

"Whatever." Todd, walked away.

Well, that went well.

Despite Todd's reaction, for the first time since I'd been in high school, I was looking forward to Homecoming. Anytime I got asked who I was going with, I'd tell the truth, not caring if people thought it was weird that a bunch of girls were going together.

"Hey there, stranger – have you forgotten where your locker is?" Ryan said to me after class.

"Yeah, well, I just. . ."

"It's okay. I understand."

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I had no idea what he was supposed to be understanding. I'd been avoiding my locker so I wouldn't have to deal with Todd,.

I got back to fishing my books out of my locker, but Ryan wasn't going anywhere. "So, Todd, told me what happened."

I turned around and leaned my back against my locker. "How much does he hate me?"

Ryan moved so his head was leaning next to mine. "It's not that bad. I told him that you really are going with a bunch of girls. Sorry"

"Why should you be sorry?"

A smile spread across his face. "Well, I think he may start hitting on you again once Homecoming is over."

"Oh."

"Anyways, you should be the one apologizing to me."

"For what?"

Ryan opened his backpack and started putting things into his locker. He was pretending not to hear me.

"Hey." I kicked his leg gently. "What did I do? I mean, I can't imagine what it could be, since I'm such a Goody two-shoes and all. . .."

"It would've been nice to warn Chesney that you were off the market."

"Oh, nice, 'off the market.' I know Todd, sees me as a piece of meat, but I expect a little more from you," I teased.

"I just can't believe I have to find out everything about you from Diane."

"What exactly did Diane tell you?"

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He looked confused. "That you guys are going to Homecoming together. is there something else?"

I shook my head. "No, nothing else. that's it."

Friday night I headed with Morgan to Tyson's concert. I'd never felt so out of place. I surveyed the room and all I saw were piercing, black eyeliner, and dirty hair. Everybody had a look on their face like they'd rather be somewhere else.

Well, I might've had one thing in common with them.

Morgan grabbed my arm. "I think we should go to the front, not too close, but close enough."

We maneuvered our way toward the front of the auto mechanic shop that was doubling as the concert venue. I didn't think we'd have a problem with Tyson seeing Morgan; there were only thirty other people there. Morgan reached in her purse and applied another coat of red lipstick.

there was movement toward the front as the band took the stage: Pete Vaughn sat behind the drum set and started twirling his sticks; Brian Silverman and Trent Riley stepped on stage with their respective instruments, guitar and bass; and Tyson came storming out with his guitar. Immediately, the band launched into the Clash's "London Calling." I was surprised at how Tyson, so shy in class, dominated the stage. He moved with the music, worked the crowd, and held himself like a seasoned pro. And the music wasn't half bad. the song ended and everybody started to cheer.

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"All right.'" Tyson grabbed the microphone. "Enough with the covers. We got a new song we re gonna play for you tonight. So give it up.'"

those were the most words I had ever heard him speak.

"Oh, I can't watt to hear their new stuff– Tyson writes all of the songs." Morgan looked on like a lovesick puppy.

Tyson started playing a few power chords. His long hair was in his eyes as he bobbed his head back and forth. the rest of the band came in and I found myself now moving to the music. there was something intense about the beat. I looked around and saw everybody moving their heads to the bass.

As he sang his lyrics into the microphone, I was surprised at his voice – so clear, powerful, and, in a way, beautiful. the lyrics were a lot deeper than I would've guessed.

Tyson closed his eyes and reached out his hand to the crowd. "You are the shadow that haunts me, the vision of who I want to be"

Despite the fact that Tyson was a guy, I started to wonder if I'd had him wrong. Not the part about him being the scum of the earth because he was male. But besides his being a boy, I'd always been so quick to dismiss Tyson all these years. Had I allowed the way he looked and his timid behavior to overshadow what was becoming increasingly obvious?

Tyson Bellamy wasn't a punk wannabe – he was a musical prodigy.

After the band finished its last song, Morgan turned to me and said, "A promise is a promise – we can leave."

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We started to exit, but there was a cluster of people in front of us. I decided to maneuver over to the side of the stage to get to the exit, then tripped over an amp cord.

"Are you okay?" A hand grabbed me to steady my balance,

I looked up. "Yeah. thanks, Tyson. Great show."

"thanks, Penny," he said with a bit of a smile. "I was a little nervous when I saw you were here."

Really?

"Really?"

"Yeah." I could see him blushing behind his hair. "I mean, you're named after a song from the greatest rock band of all time."

"Oh." I laughed. "Um, you know Morgan, right?" I motioned to Morgan, who was trying to hide behind me. So much for me not being the wing girl.

"Yeah, hi," Tyson said and looked down at the floor.

"Hi," Morgan replied, also looking down.

"Um, so do you guys practice here?" I asked, trying to make things less awkward.

Tyson nodded his head, "Yeah, at night." He didn't look up.

"Uh-huh, well that's . . . interesting."

Morgan nudged me.

"Um, well, good talking to you . . ."

Tyson nodded his head and peeked up for just an instant to smile.

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"I'm going to die" Morgan screamed as we left the garage. "That was so embarrassing. Could he have shown any less interest in me?"

"He's just shy!' I said, only half sure that was it.

Morgan opened the doors to her car and we got in, "Penny, do you know how long I've had a crush on Tyson?"

I shook my head.

"Since freshman year. two years. And finally I decided that this year I would do something about it. He's a senior, so time is running out. But it's so obvious he doesn't care." Morgan put her head on the steering wheel. "I'm so embarrassed."

"You've nothing to be embarrassed about. You don't need Tyson to –"

I cut myself off I didn't want to have a reenactment of our lunch from earlier in the week,

"I don't need to what?" Morgan looked at me expectedly.

"You don't need him."

Morgan nodded slowly. "You're right – I don't. I've already wasted so much time on him." She sighed. "Hey, got room for one more in your club?"

I smiled. "Of course. You free tomorrow night?"

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chapter Fifteen

"YOU GIRLS TRY TO BEHAVE yourselves tonight," Dad said as he put on his coat Saturday night. "Now, Penny Lane, were only going to be gone for a couple hours. No boys."

I tried not to laugh. if only they knew.

My parents were on their way to dinner, while Tracy and I were in the middle of getting all of the important provisions ready for our first official Lonely Hearts Club meeting – potato chips, dip, soda, pizza, and a selection of cheesy comedy movies.

"Don't worry, Dr. Bloom – if Paul or Ringo stop by, we will be the perfect hostesses," Tracy loved the fact that my parents were so ... not normal.

"thank you, Tracy," Mom replied. "We know you will" She kissed me on the cheek before she headed out.

"Why do you encourage them?" I asked Tracy.

"Because it drives you crazy," the doorbell rang – to the tune of "Love Me Do," of course.

"Let the festivities begin!" Tracy declared.

I'd been looking forward to this meeting all week. Just us girls, hanging out. But, part of me hoped that maybe, just maybe, it would end up being something bigger than that.

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Once Tracy, Diane, Jen, Amy, Morgan, and I settled into the basement, got comfortable in the sofas, and started munching on chips, Tracy stood up and passed out a piece of paper to each of us.

I looked down and saw the Official Guidelines of Penny Lanes Lonely Hearts Club.

"Hey" I protested. "this isn't just MY Club .. !'

Tracy threw a chip at me, "Just read it, will you!"

The Official Guidelines of Penny, Lanes Lonely, Hearts Club

Heretofore are thy official rules for members of "Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club." All members must agree to such terms or thy membership shall be struck from thy record.

1. All members agree to stop dating men (or, if referring to the male population at McKinley High, "little boys") for the rest of thy high school existence. Whether or not said members want to date after high school, they choose to proceed at their own risk. Failure to adhere to this, the most sacred rule, will result in the highest punishment allowed by law – streaking through the halls at McKinley after lunch,

2. Members will attend all couple events together as a group, including, but not limited to, Homecoming, Prom, parties, and other couply events, despite possibly being labeled as freaks and getting jealous looks from guys who wish we were their hot dates, but instead have to settle for some lame wannabe.

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3. Saturday night is the official meeting night of Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club. Attendance is mandatory. Exceptions are for family emergencies and bad hair days only.

4. Members must be supportive of their friends, despite bad choices in clothing, hair, and/or music.

Violators of the rules are subject to membership disqualification, public humiliation, vicious rumors, and possible beheading.

I loved it. Granted, it was a little melodramatic in places (typical Tracy), but, all in all, it worked,

Jen looked at the list and let out a sigh. "Ever since you told me about the Club, I've been thinking about all the drama that has happened in my life because of boys. I mean, I recently found out that last year three of the guys on the boys' basketball team had a bet on who could deflower me. How stupid is that?" Jen rolled her eyes,

"Yeah, unfortunately Jon Cart took that privilege away from me last year," Amy shook her head. "if only I could get those forty-five seconds of my life back,"

"WHAT?!" Tracy practically screamed.

Amy covered her mouth. "Yeah, hate to break it to you, but losing it isn't that much fun."

Tracy looked disappointed. "Not that I'll ever get to know." She wrapped her arms around herself and pretended to sulk, "Stupid Club."

"Yeah, and in the continuing tradition of guys being total

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jerks to me for no reason, literally the second after it was over, he completely lost interest in me."

"Typical!' Jen agreed.

"Everything you see in the movies and on television is such crap. I did not see fireworks, and there was no sweeping symphony playing in my head." Amy glanced over at Diane. 'Although I'm sure with you and Ryan, there was probably candlelight and rose petals."

Diane blushed. "Um, not exactly."

I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear this.

"Please tell me there were at least silk sheets?" Amy said.

Diane said something, but her voice was so low it wasn't really audible.

"Um, maybe we should change the subject?" I suggested.

Diane looked around at all of us and smiled. "It's okay. it's just that. . . I'm a virgin,"

"YOU'RE A WHAT?" Tracy screamed and jumped off the couch. Diane just shrugged her shoulders.

No, Way.

She and Ryan were together for so long, they were practically married. Well, maybe those jokes about married people not having sex were true.

"Seriously!" Tracy screamed.

Diane nodded. "Seriously,"

"Wow."

After an awkward pause, Diane got up and walked over to Tracy. "thank you, Tracy," she said with a mischievous

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twinkle in her eye. "thank you for thinking all this time that I was a huge slut."

Tracy shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, judging my friends is what I'm here for."

"Penny, can we please put some music on so we can drown her out?" Diane smiled at me.

"Yeah, like any speaker could do that," Tracy countered.

I couldn't have agreed with Diane more. I already knew the perfect song to blast.

What else?

"Come together."

"You really don't have to worry about cleaning up," I said to Diane after everybody else had left. I washed out a few soda cans that needed to be recycled.

"Well, I wanted to ask you something."

I sat down at the kitchen table next to her.

She shifted uncomfortably. "Do you think it's weird?"

"the Club?"

"No, no. that Ryan and I never .. ."

"Um, well, I guess I just assumed ... .

She looked down at the floor. "Yeah, I know. it's just, . . can I tell you something?"

I nodded.

"I've never told anybody this before, but we tried to once. Last New Year's we were going to – we had it all planned

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out. My parents were staying the night in the city so we went back to my room after Todd's party and we did have candles and he did buy me roses.. ." Diane laughed. "I guess we were so predictable." Her smile slowly vanished, and she sat still for a while.

I nodded sympathetically thoughts of my embarrassing, disastrous evening with Nate started to flood back to me.

"I remember that I was so sure of Ryan, that we would be together forever. Everything was so romantic, so perfect, and then . . I freaked out. We aren't talking a few nerves – I completely lost it. We didn't even get that far – most of our clothes were still on – but I just started crying. Ryan immediately sat up and turned the lights on. He looked so concerned, which made me feel worse.

"I still don't understand what happened. I guess I panicked. We spent that night just lying together, him holding me as I cried. After that night, things were different between us. I think Ryan was worried that he'd done something wrong, so he never tried going that far again. We were both so embarrassed that neither one of us ever talked about it. We hardly did anything the last couple months we dated. that's why it's been so easy for us to stay friends, because that's what we ended up being, in the end . . . just friends."

Diane looked sad for a moment, then looked up at me and smiled weakly. "Everybody wants to know what happened, why did the perfect couple break up? I think that evening was the

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beginning of the end for us. Not because we were going to have sex, but because I think we both realized that we were forcing ourselves to be something that neither of us wanted."

Diane looked at me and shrugged. "I'm tired of doing things for other people or because it's expected of me, I'm not going to do it any longer."

"Good for you."

Diane smiled at me. "there's something else I want you to know."

I leaned forward, wondering what could possibly come next,

"After football season, I'm. quitting cheerleading."

this might have been even more of a surprise than the news about her and Ryan. "Really?"

"Yep, and I'm trying out for the basketball team. I'm doing this for me." Her face lit up and I could tell that she meant every word.

"Oh, Diane." I was practically speechless.

My head raced with all the information from the evening – this was only our first official meeting and already so many of us were changing and so many secrets had been revealed.

I was sure that over time only more would come out.

Maybe even a few secrets of my own.

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chapter sixteen

OUR FIRST OFFICIALS CLUB OUTING was the following Saturday, to go Homecoming dress shopping together. I was extra excited because Rita was home from Northwestern and was going to be the excursion's honorary member.

But first we had to survive dinner with my parents on Friday night.

"Oh, it's so good to have my babies home," Mom kept saying.

I tried to ignore her, surveying the menu at our family's favorite restaurant, the Wilderness. (I never understood what was so wild about a family restaurant attached to a shopping center.) the waiter came over to take our order, and I looked down so Rita could be the first one to order. She was always a lot braver with our parents than I was.