Текст книги "The Lonely Hearts Club"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Eulberg

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"Yeah, she's acting weird!' I agreed.

"Ugh, I can't stand her."

Tracy had never really been a big fan of Diane's – not many girls in school were. Maybe it was her perfect appearance or the fact that she excelled in everything.

But that was just petty jealousy.

There was really only one person at McKinley who had a valid reason to hate Diane Monroe.

Me.

If it wasn't bad enough that she was a prime example of A Girl Who Gives Up Her Identity for a Guy, she'd also given me up. I'd always thought those girls who'd dump their friends whenever a guy showed interest in them were pathetic. But

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when I became one of those friends, I'd found out how much it hurt.

Just another example of what guys had done to ruin my life. As if treating me like crap wasn't enough, they stole my friends.

Even though I hated Tracy's list for how much it upset her, I was usually secretly glad when it ended up being a big failure. I never wanted to lose Tracy like I'd lost Diane.

Once we made our way through the long line of confused freshmen who were not yet aware of the cafeteria poison, Tracy and I established ourselves at our lunch table – the same one as last year. Our friends Morgan and Kara soon followed.

"Hey, guys," Morgan greeted us as she and Kara sat down. "My parents are so riding me about having more extracurricular activities on my college applications. Can you believe that? I have to start worrying about college already. Didn't we. just start junior year?"

We all nodded in agreement. Kara shifted uncomfortably and fiddled with her apple as the rest of us dove into our lunches. It was hard not to notice the fact that she had lost even more weight over the summer – if that was even possible. She was practically drowning in her gray McKinley High hoodie.

Suddenly, Kara's body was pinned against the table by a short, curly-haired girl "who must've slipped on the floor. Her tray hit Kara's head and her soda spilled on Kara's shoulder.

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"Oh, no!" the girl screamed. "My soda.'" We all looked in shock as she picked up her plastic cup and surveyed her outfit, ignoring Kara completely. I'd never seen tins girl before, so I figured she had to be a freshman. There was no way I would've missed her, even though she couldn't have been more than five feet tall. Everything on her was done to the extreme-acrylic nails meant to look like a French manicure, dark brown hair that had been over-highlighted with blond streaks, eyebrows narrowly plucked, and lips overly penciled in. She was wearing a very mm, denim skirt and a lace tank top in other words, looking like she was going to strut down a catwalk instead of eat lunch at the school cafeteria.

'Are you okay?" Morgan handed Kara some napkins to clean

"Ash-ley!" the girl screamed at her friend. "Did I get anything on my shirt?"

Tracy whipped her head around. "Excuse me – what about apologizing to my friend who you just soaked?"

The girl looked at Tracy like she was speaking a foreign language.

"What? I spilled my soda."

Tracy shot her the patented Tracy Glare – eyes squinted into tiny slits, lips pursed, a look of complete disgust. "Yes, you spilled your soda – on my friend. Do you understand what an apology means?"

The girl opened her mouth in annoyance. She mumbled

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something that I guess was supposed to be an apology (it sounded more like a question: "saw-reh?") and walked away.

Tracy sat back down, "Unbelievable. It's the first day of school and already these freshmen think they own the place. Oh, and, what a shock, look what table they're going to "

There was a long group of tables against the windows that would always hold the jocks and cheerleaders, including the infamous Elite Eight; Ryan Bauer and Diane Monroe, Brian Reed and Pam Schneider, Don Levitz and Audrey Werner, Todd Chesney and one of his many revolving girlfriends.

Tracy and I were among the few girls left in our class who hadn't made it to the table as Todd's girl of the moment. I'd never had a desire to be part of their demented version of Noah's Ark, where you could only survive if you were paired up with a member of the opposite sex. If I had to choose between dating Todd and missing the boat, I was fully prepared to drown.

Both Kara and Morgan had dated Todd. Morgan had dated him in eighth grade, and he would go around and lie to the basketball team about how far he got with her. After he'd dumped her, Morgan had become increasingly popular with the other guys in class, until she'd realized it was because they all thought she was easy.

You would've thought that Kara would've learned from Morgan's mistakes. But no. Todd had managed to disarm all common sense in a girl, Kara had thought it would be

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different, so she'd taken the plunge . . . and found that this girl named Tina Mclntyre was swimming in the same pool at the same time.

I couldn't help but wonder why it was that a guy could find two good girls to date at the same time, when we girls couldn't even find one decent guy.

My face became hot as I thought about how much trouble Todd had caused – not just with Kara and Morgan, but with practically half our class, I never understood the power he had over girls. He was your typical dumb jock: a big guy with a dirty blond buzz cut and an outfit that always showed off at least two sports team logos.

Thinking about Todd made me realize I wasn't the only girl at McKinley who would benefit from a boy boycott.

Those nasty freshmen girls were all over him now, and he was enjoying every minute of it.

"Guys are jerks," I practically shouted.

A laugh escaped Tracy's throat. "What to the evs – like you don't spend your time flirting with Ryan and Todd!"

Like I WHAT?

"What are you even talking about?"

"Are you even kidding me? Every time you're around Ryan, you flirt up a storm."

Yeah, well, that was the old Penny. New Penny was done flirting. I'd be happy if I never had to speak to any guys for the rest of the year.

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"The guys in the Elite Eight aren't the problem," Morgan said. "Those girls are so shallow and have zero – and I mean zero – things to discuss outside of their boyfriends."

"Well," Kara interjected, "Diane is always nice to me. But Audrey and Pam are a little full of themselves."

Morgan glared at their table. "Please. Sure they're cheerleaders and date the star athletes – how boring! – but nobody really likes them. You know that's what's totally ridiculous about all of this – all those guys who are allegedly the popular ones are despised by most of the students. And anytime they're nice to somebody outside the group, it's always, always because they want something."

"Exactly!" Tracy chimed in. "Today in class, Diane pretended she wanted to be KFFs with me. And she tried the same thing with Pen this morning."

Morgan nodded. "Exactly. It's obvious she wants something."

"Yeah, well, whatever it is," Tracy said, looking over at the Elite Eight table, "she's not going to get it."

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chapter Seven

I GOT INTO WORLD HISTORY class and was completely surrounded.

Ms. Barnes, our teacher, did the seating assignments in alphabetical order (how original!) and I was placed between Ryan and Todd, with Derek Simpson sitting two rows behind me, and Kevin Parker (Tracy's main obsession) and Steve Powell (lower on the list) close by

There were only three other girls in the class, and they ended up seated as far away from me as possible.

"Hey there, Senorita Penny," Todd welcomed me to my seat. We'd had Spanish together that morning and (much to my displeasure) had been assigned to be conversation partners. Todd had spent most of the time making up words by placing an o at the end of them – el chairo, el sandwicho, el footballo,

Ryan sat down next to me, "What a surprise," he said.

Todd leaned over to my desk. "Hey Penny what are you going to have your Spanish name be?"

I shrugged. I'd never really thought about it,

Todd continued, "Because I was thinking of using Nacho and figured you should pick Margarita, so when we have

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projects together Senora Coles will have to call on Margarita y Nacho." Todd laughed, then leaned forward and lifted up his hand.

I did my best to ignore him.

"What's this?" Ryan asked. "Bloom, are you two-timing me with Chesney? Seriously, I thought you had better taste."

Yeah, like I'm the one two-timing. I'm not the one with the girlfriend.

Todd made a rude gesture to Ryan and then the two of them started trash-talking about who was going to do more laps at practice that night.

I wondered if there were any all-girl schools in the area.

I'd never been so relieved to hear the last bell of the day. I jumped from the classroom like it was on fire and headed straight to my locker. There I found Diane waiting. Not for me. For Ryan. Of course.

Still, she waved.

Did she even have her own locker?

"Hey, Penny!" she said when I got closer, "Are you going to the game on Friday night?"

"Yep." I tried to seem busy finding my Biology textbook. I didn't know why she was all of a sudden so interested in my social calendar.

"Like anybody would want to miss that ass-kicking," Todd said, coming over with Ryan, then stopping to give him a high five. "Even Bauer's dad is going to be there! So that alone is

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something to show up for. That, like, happens about as often as, what, a lunar eclipse or something...."

Ryan glared at Todd and slammed his locker shut. I'd known Ryan since grade school, and I'd never seen his dad. His mom and stepdad, sure. But not his dad. All I knew was that he was some hotshot lawyer in Chicago.

There was an awkward silence in their group – a group that I didn't want to get involved with. I reached for my phone and my stomach dropped when I saw I had another text waiting from Nate.

You can't ignore me forever.

I hit the delete button. I was sure going to try.

"Penny?" It was Diane's voice.

"What?" I looked up and noticed that she was alone. I hadn't heard Ryan and Todd leave. Why was she still here?

"Oh, urn, I was just wondering..." She started nervously bending down the corner of her notebook. "I mean, I feel like we haven't really spoken in so long, and I'd love it if we could go out sometime – to a movie, or dinner, whatever you're up for."

She can't be serious, I thought.

"Oh, well, um .. ."

Why don't you tell me what you want so we can get this over with?

"Are you free tomorrow night?" she asked.

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"Um," I stalled, trying to think of a reason why I couldn't go out with her.

"I was thinking we could go to the mall and then grab a bite to eat. Wouldn't that be fun?"

No, not really . . .

I looked at Diane. Her eyes were wide, and it seemed like she genuinely wanted to spend time with me. That, or she was so desperate to become the first junior to ever win Homecoming Queen that she was willing to take her campaign past enemy lines.

Wait a second, I thought. This is Diane Monroe, The same Diane who cancelled on me a million times. Who would never put a friend before Ryan. If I agree, she'll no doubt cancel to do something with Ryan. Some things never change,

"I think that could work!' I said. I knew I could always make up an excuse (like that I needed to work at my dad's dental office) if she didn't cancel on me first,

Diane did a little jump. "Yay! HI stop by tomorrow after class!"

I wasn't going to hold my breath.

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chapter Eight

"YOU AGREED TO DO WHAT?" Tracy practically ran off the side of the road when I told her the next morning. "Seriously Pen, she's on some sort of medication. There's something off upstairs."

"I know – I see her talking to everybody," I tried to not laugh.

"You don't understand – you don't have any classes with her. I've got two – before lunch. And all she did yesterday was come over and talk to me in that cheerleadery way she has."

"Yeah, welt I'm not that worried about it. She'll cancel on me. End of story."

I guess in a way Diane prepared me for being dumped by guys. With her it was the same thing as any guy – the calls not being returned, avoiding me in the hallways, talking behind my back.

Tracy's cell phone rang. She threw her headset on, answered, listened for about three seconds, then screamed, "WHAT?"

I instinctively grabbed the wheel to steady her driving.

"Are you even serious? When?" Tracy grabbed my arm. "Oh my God!"

I wanted to hit her, but didn't want to die on my way to school. Tracy just kept on screaming and asking questions.

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When she finally got off the phone, a look of smugness settled on her face,

"You're not going to believe it," she said. "Ryan broke up with Diane."

"WHAT?" I screamed so loud, Tracy winced. "You can't be serious. I've seen Diane at Ryan's locker –"

Tracy shook her head. "Jen went in early this morning with the volleyball team to practice, and the news broke. From what she knows, he broke up with her at the start of summer before she went away on vacation, but nobody really knew about it since Ryan didn't want to, I don't know, spread gossip or whatevs while she was away. They wanted to wait a few more days to tell people, but Todd ended up spilling it to Hilary Jacobs, and you can imagine where it went from there."

"That's impossible," I replied. Diane Monroe and Ryan Bauer had been together for four years. They were supposed to get married, have 2.4 kids, and have a 50 percent chance of living happily ever after.

"It all makes perfect sense! This is why she's being so nice to everybody, that fake little bee-yotch." Tracy glared at me. "And now we know exactly what she wants."

I looked at Tracy in confusion. What did Diane want?

"She thinks that now she's single, she can come running back to her good old friend Penny."

I tried to wrap my head around it. Diane dumped me for Ryan, Ryan dumped Diane, and now she expected us to be friends again.

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I don't think so.

"Wait a second!' Mike interrupted. "You're friends with Diane Monroe?"

"No, we used to be friends,"

"Wow." Mike looked impressed, "She's hot. Do you think you can introduce her to me?"

"Get out of the car!" Tracy screamed. Mike rolled his eyes, and he jumped out as soon as Tracy pulled into the parking lot.

"How stupid does she think I am?" I asked. "After not talking to me for four years, she wants me to mop up after Ryan. I've got my own guy problems, thank you very much. I'm so canceling on her."

"What?" Tracy's eyes opened wide, "No way – you have to go!

I couldn't believe she was even being serious. Tracy hated Diane and she wanted me to hang out with her?

"You have to get the scoop. Find out why he dumped her skinny ass and then get up and leave. You don't owe her anything. See how she feels being used for once."

"But I..."

"Come on, Pen. I wish I could go and hear her poor sad sob story. Oh, I'm so happy Ryan finally came to his senses. Hmmm, I wonder if I should put him on the list." Tracy looked thoughtful for a moment. "Nah, I've always thought he'd be better for you. Not that you're dating or anything."

I felt a migraine coming on.

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My headache wasn't going to go away once got to my locker and saw Ryan. I was so preoccupied with Diane that I had forgotten that I'd have to deal with him, too. there was no way to avoid him.

Not only didn't I know what to say to him, but I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. Should I be mad at him? Should I be grateful to him for confirming once more that guys only use girls) Granted, I didn't know what had happened, but I felt it had to have been his fault.

"Hey there, Bloom," he said as I opened up my locker.

"Hey, what's new – I mean, not what's new, um .,." I closed my eyes, hoping he'd just turn and walk away.

"Well, I see it only took twenty-four hours for the news to make its way around the school," he replied.

I looked over at him and didn't know what to say.

"Anyways," he went on, "I hear you and Diane are going out tonight."

I stared at him blankly. How did he know that"?

"Hey, it's okay. I'm glad you guys are hanging out. to tell you the truth, I'm a little worried about Diane. You know how catty some people can be."

I tried to not think of Tracy ... or myself.

"What up, Bauer?" Todd came from around the corner. I'd never been so happy to see him in my life ... at least until he walked over and put his arm around me. "I don't give a crap that you're single now – you best stay away from my girl."

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For the first time, Ryan seemed thrown off

Todd, however, didn't pick up on this. He went on, "Now why don't you run along and start breaking some hearts while me partner en espanol and I head to class?" As he grabbed my arm and guided me toward class, he started shaking his head. "I'm telling you," he said with an overdone sigh, "having Bauer be single is going to be trouble."

Ryan was right about news traveling fast through the school – it was all anybody could talk about. I tried to not get caught up in it, but as the lone member of the Lonely Hearts Club, I couldn't help but notice how unfair everybody was being. Nobody seemed to worry about Ryan. Of course, he would have a new girlfriend soon enough, but if he didn't, it wasn't a big deal. It was his choice. Guys rule.

But Diane was treated like damaged goods. the victim, A heartbroken, devastated shell of a person.

When people talked about Ryan, they were high-fiving, talking about his freedom.

With Diane, people were speaking to low voices, like she should've been ashamed to be single again.

So. Unfair.

I knew this. But it was still extremely awkward to be with Diane after school. I kept hearing a voice in my head that said, the only reason she didn't cancel on you is because she doesn't have a boyfriend.

On our way over to the diner, we talked about our families,

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and how Rita was doing at college, and how her mother was remodeling their kitchen . . again. When we got there, we talked about classes. then what we were going to order. then, when it seemed like the only thing left besides the breakups (ours, hers .. . pick one) was to discuss the weather, we simply stared at each other.

"So," Diane finally said as she picked at her salad. "How's Nate? Does he still spend the summer with you guys?"

My stomach tightened. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh." Diane looked down, realizing her question had backfired. She seemed so sad as she pushed her fork around her plate.

Finally, she looked up again. "Can I tell you something?"

I shrugged.

'I've always been a little bit jealous of you."

"Excuse me?" How could Miss Perfect, blond-hair, blue-eyes model Diane Monroe be jealous of me?

"Seriously, Penny –I mean, seriously! Look at you! Do you have any idea how hard I have to work to look like this? I mean, look at what I'm eating, for the love of carbs!" Diane motioned toward her garden salad with fat-free dressing and then looked over at my turkey sandwich with cheddar cheese and mayonnaise and potato chips.

"First off," she began, "you can eat anything and you have an awesome body."

Whatever.

"AND you have the coolest style. I choose what I'm going to wear based on what magazines tell me. I look the same as

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everybody else. But you have your own funky style that nobody else could pull off You always have."

In other words, I was a freak because I preferred All Stars over stilettos.

"And, you know, I'm not stupid. I know people like you a whole lot more than they will ever like me."

As Tracy would've said, what to the evs.

Diane shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, I just wanted to tell you that."

"Oh . . . thanks." I tried to give her a smile.

She picked at her salad again. "Do you remember how when we were little we used to put on those concerts for your parents?"

I nodded, surprised that Diane remembered the Beatles shows we'd performed in our basement.

"What did your parents call your basement?"

I sighed. "the Cavern." (the Cavern was the club in Liverpool where the Beatles had gotten their start.)

"Right remember that you had to be John and I was Paul and we had stuffed animals be Ringo and George." She started to laugh, leaning in. "And then we did that little routine in the cafeteria that summer up at the lake."

"When we went white-water tubing?"

Diane's eyes lit up. "Exactly! What were those guys' names?"

I looked down at the table, trying to remember the two brothers who'd hung out with us for that week.

"I just remember you completely schooling that one guy in air hockey." We both started to laugh. "Seriously, Penny, I

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thought your arm was going to come out of your socket, you were swinging it around so much." Diane started to flail her arms around fiercely and nearly knocked over her water.

And then something unexpected happened.

It was if the past four years had disappeared. As if it was just the other day that she was carrying around my books while I hobbled on crutches with a sprained ankle. the two of us began to reminisce about our friendship, and before we realized it, over an hour had passed, Diane looked thoughtfully at me, "Wow, Penny, it's been too long. We always had the best time together."

I smiled at her. We'd done everything together, made the promises that best friends make when they're in grade school – we'd go to the same college, get an apartment together, be each other's maid of honor . . .

Diane started to tap the table nervously. "I also wanted to tell you that I'm sorry." tears were forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry that I threw our friendship away. I'm sorry that I treated you so poorly. And, most of all, I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to come to my senses. I can't begin to imagine what it must've been like for you. I couldn't help but think of you when Ryan and I broke up." Her voice cracked as she said his name. the tears were now flowing down her cheeks. "At first, I was fine. My family was going on summer vacation. I had tennis lessons to keep me occupied. But a couple of weeks ago I had nothing to do. Practice hadn't started yet. I was on my own."

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She grabbed her purse and took out a tissue. She started sniffling. "I would call Audrey and Pam, but either they had plans with their boyfriends or, if they made plans with me, they'd cancel the second Don or Brian called. And I know – I know – that I used to do that same thing to you. that's something else I'm sorry about."

Flashes from years ago. the moments that I realized that I was losing my best friend and feeling alone, having no one.

Diane wiped the tears on her face. "It was hard for me to realize that I really didn't have any true friends. Not the kind of friend that you were. Now that school's started, it's making everything worse. I used to have a routine – Ryan would pick me up for school, I'd go to his locker, I'd . . , well, you know. You saw it. I made him my everything, and now, now I have nothing," Her sobs turned into sharp staccatos while she tried to steady her breathing.

"I..." I tried to find some words to comfort her, but felt so conflicted. "Diane, what do you expect me to do?"

She looked up at me with her bloodshot eyes,

"I'm really sorry about what happened with you and Ryan. Really, No one should feel that way, especially over a guy. But still... I don't know what to do. Because I can't forget that you completely abandoned me. I don't know what I would've done if Tracy hadn't moved to town the next year."

Diane struggled for air. "No, you're right, you're totally right. it's just... I don't know who I am anymore. Everybody knows me as Diane, Ryan girlfriend, or the cheerleader, or

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class president. I feel so lost. Part of me thinks it's best to continue like nothing has changed, but there's another part of me that wants to just stop doing what everybody expects me to do. I don't know . . ." She shook her head. "I don't know if I want to cheer anymore. I really don't feel like cheering. I don't know what I feel like doing. I'm just, , ."

I felt sharp prickles of moisture behind my eyes. Who would've thought that I would still have something in common with Diane? I felt lost, like her.

Diane looked at me with a mixture of surprise and sympathy. She quickly handed a tissue over to me. Before I knew what was happening, I was telling Diane all about Nate. I felt stupid, knowing that I'd only dated htm for a few weeks, not a few years. But for some reason, I knew she would understand. It took me a moment to comprehend that the tears that were now running down Diane's face were because of Nate.

"Oh, Penny, I'm so sorry. that's horrible! You trusted htm, and he . . . Penny" – she made sure I was looking at her – "you did nothing wrong."

Although so much time had passed, I hadn't completely forgotten this Diane. the Diane who always knew the right words to say, the Diane who supported me no matter what. this Diane was the reason we had been best friends.

I tried to smile. "Yeah, well, I'm not making that mistake again, ever. I've decided that I'm basically done. You know, with guys." I tried to laugh, so she wouldn't think I was mental. "I just. .. I'm sick of it all. Look at us, both in tears – and

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for what? Because we decided to trust a guy. Big mistake– I actually formed a little club."

"A club?" Diane leaned in. "What club? Who's in it?"

"Me, myself and I – the Lonely Hearts Club. I bet you think I'm pathetic huh?"

Diane grabbed my hand from across the counter. "Not at all. I think you've been through a lot, and you've got to do what you need to do to get through it. if only you would've thought of this years ago, imagine the trouble you would have saved both of us. But. , , there's only one problem." Diane started to smile.

"What?"

"You can't really have a club with one person."

I laughed. "Well, I know that, but. . ."

"So how about adding another member?"

I looked at her in shock. "What?"

"Penny!" Diane wiped away her tears and looked genuinely happy. "Do you really think the next thing I want to do is date again? I'm so done, too. I just need to figure out what's next for me. Not me and Ryan. ME."

A surge of excitement rippled through me. "that's exactly what I've been thinking!"

"You have to let me in. I know I have to earn your trust back, and I will. But for now, can you at least consider forgiving me?"

She reached her hand out to me. I didn't even hesitate.

Now, there were two of us.

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chapter nine

WHEN I LEFT MY DINNER WITH Diane, I felt truly happy and hopeful for the first time in weeks. Having a partner in crime, especially one who was also going through a breakup, was exactly what I needed,

I reached for my phone and saw that I had three texts. the first two were from Tracy:

Has she started crying yet? if she does start sobbing, take a picture for me! And the third was from Nate:

I'm going to keep txting you until you reply.

I ignored Nate and called Tracy.

"Spill it," she answered.

I tried to fill her in, but she wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. She kept making fun of Diane, which started to frustrate me.

"Tracy, stop it." My voice started to rise. "You know, this

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has been hard on her. Imagine what she's going through. She feels lost –"

"Oh, please," Tracy interrupted. "Do you hear yourself? Next thing you know, you're going to be inviting her to eat lunch with us."

Dead silence,

Tracy sighed. "Are you kidding me? Please tell me this is a joke."

"Tracy." I spoke slowly, choosing my words carefully. "Everybody is being really mean to her. Consider it an act of charity."

"I already gave at the office," Tracy deadpanned.

"Please. For me?" I didn't even try to hide the desperation in my voice.

"Fine, But you owe me."

I got off the phone with her before she had a chance to change her mind.

"You do realize that I am going to kill you for this?" Tracy reminded me for the fourteenth time as we headed to lunch the next day.

"Just please give her a chance," I begged.

"Highly unlikely. I don't know – call me crazy, Pen, but I'm just not very excited about watching my best friend get used."

"I know what I'm doing." I headed toward a small table in the corner In case there was any hair-pulling or biting. I told

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Morgan and Kara it was better for them to eat elsewhere today; I didn't want to make them an accessory to any violence that ensued.

"Yeah, I think you said the same thing at the start of the summer."

I froze in place.

Tracy grabbed my hand. "I'm so sorry, Pen – that was an awful thing to say."

I tried to shake the thought from my mind. This was going to be hard enough without having to think about. . . him.

"Just please, Tracy. For me. Be nice."

Tracy sat down and didn't say a word.

"Hey, guys." Diane sat down at our table. "thanks so much for having me!"

Tracy forced out a smile.

"Oh!" Diane set a small cardboard box on the table. "And as a thank-you . . . cupcakes!" Diane placed two fancy cupcakes on the table,

"thanks." I grabbed the bigger one and started licking the pink frosting. I glared at Tracy.

"Yeah, thanks."

Diane beamed, probably because that was the first positive thing Tracy had ever said to her. "You know, Penny, after last night, I feel so much better. Swearing off boys was the best decision ever. the Club is going to be awesome."

Uh-oh.

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Tracy looked between us. "What club?"

"Um, you see . . ." this wasn't going to be good. "You know how I pretty much declared that all guys are scum?"

Tracy rolled her eyes. "Yeah."

"Well, I decided I'm not dating anymore."

"Penny –" Tracy interrupted,

"Tracy, can you just hear me out?" My patience was wearing thin. "I tried to tell you the other day, but you kept interrupting me."

Tracy closed her mouth and leaned back in her chair.

"I'm done dating. At least while I'm still here at this school and have to deal with these idiots. So I started calling myself the Lonely Hearts Club,"

Tracy looked confused, "Is that a Beatles reference?"

"Yes, and if you ever listened to any of the music I've given you, you'd know that. ANYWAYS, I'm serious. I'm not dating anymore. And Diane's decided to join my ban,"

Diane turned to Tracy "You should join, too, Tracy. it could be fun."

Tracy looked at Diane with contempt. "Do you think I'm so pathetic I can't get a date?"

"Hey, that's not why –" I tried to interrupt.

"No, that's not what I meant. I, . ." Diane looked hurt.

Tracy glared at Diane. "Right – how long is your membership going to last? Like you could exist without being fawned over by the entire male population."