Текст книги "In Too Deep"

Автор книги: Eliza Jane

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

Chapter 24

We take our time walking back to the school, drinking and stumbling and making small talk. She’s funny when she’s been drinking, and just as sassy as ever. This girl is keeping me on my toes. I can’t tell what she thinks of me. Her eyes say one thing, but her mouth says another.

When Taylor falters, stumbling in the grass, I allow myself to reach out and touch her, as I’ve been desperate to do since our kiss. I hold her upright, her back pressing against my chest. “You okay?” I breathe against her hair.

              “Sorry,” she says, catching her breath. “My legs aren’t working so well right now.”

“It’s cool.” I release her, and turn her toward me. I fight the urge to pull her closer. “We can hang out here for a little while if you want.” She nods and we sit down in the grass, tilting our heads back to look up at the stars. There are a million of them tonight and the nearly full moon gives us enough light to see by.

When Taylor lies back in the tall grass, she’s partially obscured from my view, which I don’t like, but I lie back next to her. “Would you think less of me if I tell you something right now?” I say, teasing.

              “I couldn’t possibly think any less of you then I already do, so go for it.”

I laugh softly even though her assessment of me stings a little. “My lip hurts like a bitch.”

She laughs out loud. “Lemme see.” She lifts up on her elbow and leans over me.

Her face is serious as she looks down at me. She watches my eyes intently, but I focus on her mouth. She brings her hand to my face like she wants to reach out and touch my split lip, but stops herself and drops her hand. I don’t know why she’s so scared to feel anything with me. I can tell by the way she’s looking at me that she’s interested, but I can also tell she’ll never let herself act on it. But I guess if I’m admitting the truth, she scares the shit out of me. I find myself hesitating where I’m normally sure and questioning what to when I’m around her.

But she’s still leaning over me, studying me. So I haven’t completely scared her off. Yet. I lift my hand to her face, trailing my fingers along her jaw. She flinches at my touch, but doesn’t back away. Maybe she’s not as shy as I’ve thought. Our eyes stay locked on each other’s as the seconds tick past. Her face hovers just inches above mine. I want to kiss her again. Bad.

A lock of her hair falls over my cheek, but neither of us moves. She smells enticing and I can’t help but lean closer. She tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

Unable to stop myself, I move my hand to her full mouth to touch those pretty pink lips I’ve been thinking about since last weekend. I trace a fingertip along her mouth, wanting to do so much more.

She sucks in a breath, and pulls away.

Fuck. Too much.

“Sorry,” I whisper hoarsely.

“We should get back,” she says, her voice just as breathless as mine.

I nod. “Yeah.” I need to get out of here. Now. Before I go all caveman and drag her back to my room to satisfy every primal urge she arouses in me.

I walk her inside, all the way upstairs to the girl’s dorm in silence. She grips the banister, and navigates the stairs carefully. She may have had more to drink than I realized. I hang back behind her on the stairs, my hand at the small of her back, ready to catch her if she stumbles.

When we reach the door to the dorm, she steps inside, then stops, realizing I’m no longer following her. If I go into that dorm, she’d stand no chance. I want to taste her lips, to press her soft body against mine, and knowing that I can’t, I stand stiffly by the door.

Chapter 25

Colt’s stopped on the threshold of my dorm, holding himself back intentionally from crossing through the door. I turn to face him. He takes a deep breath, then stretches up, placing his hands on the top of the door frame.

His shirt inches up to expose a patch of skin along with the waistband of his boxer briefs. It is so not fair that the image will be seared into my memory like it’s Christmas morning and he’s a present to be unwrapped.

I need to play it cool. I desperately need to keep my libido in check. Colt is not good for me. I must remember that.

I allow my eyes to briefly travel down his stretched out frame, until I force them to return to his face. He doesn’t let on if he knows I was ogling him like a piece of meat, but his gaze is fixed on me too. He releases a breath slowly, like he’s frustrated about something.

“So you wanna come in?” That is so the alcohol talking.

He peers around me, looking inside, leaning his body closer to mine, though his hands are still gripping the top of the door frame. It’s clear by the silent, darkened dorm that we’re completely alone. My heart thumps unevenly. Even though we’ve already spent time alone on assignment at the hotel, for some reason, this feels different. Like instead of being thrust together, we’re choosing it.

He drops his hands by his sides, then stuffs them in his pockets like he’s unsure what to do with them. “I better not,” he says after a moment of silence.

“I could find some peroxide for your lip.”

He laughs, a deep throaty sound that I can’t help but notice has a bit of an edge to it. He shoves his hands deeper into his pockets, his forearms flexing as he tenses. “I shouldn’t be in here…underage girls…after dark…none of it’s good for me.”

Despite what my brain is telling me, my body has its own agenda. The way my pulse spikes anytime he’s near and my eyes only see his perfection. It’s sorta infuriating. I vowed I’d never put myself in a position to be used by a guy again, and I intend to keep that promise. But in this moment, instead of modesty, self-preservation or general disgust over his man-whoring, my entire body is humming. Damn it.

I know everything MJ and Logan have said about Colt’s reputation is true. I’d heard of at least two girls who’d celebrated their eighteenth birthdays in his bed. And some of it I’ve now seen with my own eyes. It should gross me out, but I can’t make myself feel the way I should about him.

I’m tempted to blurt out that my birthday is only three months away, but I hold my tongue.  Oh God. What’s wrong with me? “I don’t bite,” I say, teasing him right back.

He leans in closer, his voice low. “No?” He looks me over and leans in even closer. “What if I do?”

My stomach drops. His dark eyes on me are too much, and for once I’m at a total and complete loss for words. It’s a strange new sensation to realize that I’m off limits to him, just as much as he is to me, though only a year and a handful of months separate us.

“Thanks for walking me back.” I refuse to play this game his way and throw myself at him like he expects. I turn and head into the darkened dorm, feeling his eyes on my back as I go. There’s no reason why I can’t make him suffer. It’d certainly be a confidence boost to have him salivating over me, only to turn him down. Game on, Mr. Palmer, game on.

* * *

When I head to Independent Study, I spot an envelope that’s been left for me at the desk. The typed letter inside tells me my next assignment. I scan the contents and quickly decide McAllister has lost his mind. I don’t know if this assignment is punishment for how I performed on the last one, but either way, I’m annoyed.

I reach for my cell and call McAllister in his office.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Before I agree to this assignment, I need to know more. I need to know it’s not going to end up like the last one – or worse.”

“Hello Taylor. There will be no field work this time, if that’s what you’re asking. The Alliance case involves re-programming the system that guides many of the big tanker ships out on the water today. I want you to see if it’s possible to interfere with the signal and send the ship on a different course.”

“And why would you want to do that? What’s the point?” I promised myself I’d only do these assignments if I felt like I was actually helping put bad guys away.

“As you remember, I’ve given you a full scholarship and kept your secret. You are a student of mine, and therefore, I am testing your skills, exploring what you’re capable of – finding out the ways I’ll be able to use you. And since we both know your first field assignment was a failed one, you’re lucky I’m giving you a second chance at all.”

I swallow down what I really want to say. “And why are we playing with ships?”

“Taylor, do I need to remind you that I’m in charge here, and I don’t answer to my students?”

We’re both quiet for a second, but I can still hear him breathing.

Then he continues. “We’re testing the security. Seeing if it’s hackable. Consider it research for my own personal interest.”

I’m quiet while I consider what he means.

“Either do the assignment, or leave. Your choice.”

He hangs up the phone. I read over the letter in the envelope again. It has the name of a ship. I type it into a search engine, and see it’s a commercial oil tanker sailing in the Atlantic. I run a few searches, trying to find out what might be interesting to McAllister about this ship. I’m stumped. But not finding anything suspicious, I don’t think it’s enough to give up my scholarship, go home and face my parents and Wes.

I lay my head down on the desk in front of me.

“Did I wear you out earlier?”

I look up to see Colt strolling in and raise an eyebrow at his innuendo-filled remark. His defense lesson that morning had been…intense, like most of my encounters with him, but he didn’t need to know that. “No. I’m just trying to figure out what to do about this next assignment McAllister’s given me.”

He slides down next to me. “Mind if I join you?”

“Suit yourself.”

He begins tapping on the keys at the computer next to me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“With you?” I look at him like he’s crazy. I didn’t take him for being a good listener.

“Yes with me. I’m not diseased.”

“Not that you know of.” I smile. “Yet.”

He laughs a deep throaty laugh, shaking his head at me. “Trust me, I’m disease-free.”

I don’t know what to make of this boy. All at once, he’s charming, polite, stubborn and bad, oh so bad. The effect is sexy as hell. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with the emotions he inflicts in me.

Just as I regain my focus and continue working to research the systems used on board the Alliance ship, a soft knock at the open door catches my attention.

There’s a girl – a second year named Britt leaning against the door frame, her eyes on Colt. “Hey there,” her voice is low, breathless.

Colt’s eyebrows dart up, looking from Britt, back to me. I make myself busy, and begin tapping at the keys again, trying to hide my annoyance.

“Hey,” Colt returns.

“Wanna come play?” Britt asks in a sultry, low voice.

Oh. My. God.

It’s one thing to know this crap happens, but to watch it unfold, right under my nose is more than I can handle. A few times since my trip with Colt, I’ve made the mistake of allowing myself to remember how soft he was with me when I was hurt, the way he fed me, that kiss that left my entire body hot, and wanting more. But I know I’d be fooling myself if I thought that meant there was something between us.

Colt looks again between Britt and me, but I keep my eyes on my computer screen. “Sorry, I’m hanging out with Taylor right now,” he says.

Wait. What?

That’s not at all how I expected this little play date to go. I dare a glance at Britt. Her face is pinched tight like someone just slapped her.

Colt continues, oblivious to the anger rolling off her in waves, being directed straight at me. “You’ve met Taylor, right?”

Britt gives me a fake smile. “Hi.”

I keep my face relaxed. “Hey.”

“Well if you get bored later, you know where to find me,” Britt says, then turns to leave, clearly hurt at his unexpected rejection.

I sneak a glance at Colt. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He smiles innocently. “I know.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Then why didn’t you go with her?”

“I don’t know. I’d rather be here, I guess.” He runs one finger over his lips like he’s deep in thought.

“Why?” I question.

He lets out a throaty laugh, tipping his head back. “You’re not like other girls. You’re fascinating to me.”

“What, like a science experiment?”

“No.” He laughs. “I mean you call me out all the time, and tell it like it is. It’s actually kind of refreshing.”

“Gotcha.” I turn back to my assignment. Why am I suddenly annoyed Colt likes me for my personality? “Well you’re welcome to stay, but just so you know, you don’t have to feel bad about going off with Britt, or whoever comes calling next.”

“Deal,” Colt says, flashing me his brilliant smile while his eyes dance with mischief.

Oh man, I am in so much trouble. 

Chapter 26

I’m hoping not to embarrass myself in training this morning with Taylor, but when she strolls into the classroom wearing a tank top and tiny black shorts, all bets are off.

Today I’m showing her some moves standing up, so it should help that she won’t be straddling me. My mind drifts at the thought…

“Colt?” Taylor’s voice draws me back.

I clear my throat, blinking the thought away. “Ready?”

She nods eagerly.

“Come here. I’m going to teach you how to get out of a choke hold.” As she walks over, I get a whiff of her sweet vanilla scent. It puts all my senses on high alert.

I secure her in a choke hold with her back against the wall and shudder remembering the way Lars gripped her neck. I step in close to her, shielding her with my body. “Try to free yourself.”

She grips my arms and pulls against them. But my hands don’t budge from her neck.

“Okay, you’ve made your point.” She blows a strand of hair from her face. “So how do I get out?”

I smile. “If the person is much stronger than you, you’re not going to be able to break the hold. And you’ll only have a few brief seconds before you pass out. So here’s what you do. Put your hands together like you’re praying.”

She does, pressing her palms together in front of her.

“Good. Now bring your hands up in between my arms.”

She wedges her hands between us.

“Now grab my head.”

She lifts an eyebrow, giving me a strange look, but after a second, rests her hands on either side of my face. We’re locked together, my hands still firmly around her neck, and now her hands hold my head in place.

“Stab your thumbs straight into my eyes.”

She places her thumbs over my eyes.

“You’ll drive them in, pushing me away and freeing yourself from the wall.”

She pushes against me, thrusting my head back from her.

“Excellent. Finish with a knee to the groin and then run.”

She swiftly brings her knee up between my thighs. Holy shit! I dodge the blow in time and catch her knee, gripping it between my hands.

“Let’s be careful with that.”

She smiles wickedly.

Is she teasing me? Her bare knee is soft and smooth, her skin is incredible. I carefully lower her leg to the ground. “Behave.”

She smirks.

I glide my hand slowly up the length of her leg before fully standing, only dropping it when my fingers reach the hem of her shorts.

Her breath hitches and her big blue eyes meet mine, puzzled.

We catch our breath for a few moments, then repeat the move several times. On the third time through, Taylor has this down and we take a break to grab some water.

She sits on the gym floor, tilting her water bottle back, taking a long drink.

“You did well today.”

She looks down, toying with the hem of her shorts. “Thanks.”

“I think you’ll be more than ready for your next field assignment.”

She’s quiet like she’s thinking about what I just said. “You said that not all assignments were like our last one. How many field assignments have you been on?”

“Too many to count.” McAllister has been sending me out, mostly at my insistence, since I was a first year here. “I’ve been to Germany, Amsterdam, London, New York, and countless other places.”

She looks up at me in awe.

“And most times things are low key. In, out, job done. A few other times, though – like with Lars, shit goes awry.”

She gulps.

“But that’s why we train.”

She nods. “I guess that makes sense. Have you ever been hurt?”

“Of course.”

“What happened?” She draws her legs up to her chest and rests her chin on her knees.

“One time in Bangalore I got in a knife fight. I was unarmed, and had been up for two days straight plus jet legged, and um, a little drunk.”

“Drunk?”

“Yeah, stupid, I know, but I was more reckless in my younger years.”

Her eyebrows shoot up.

“Anyways, I survived.” I lift the edge of my T-shirt, pointing out the tiny white scar along my lower stomach.

“Oh.” Her breath hisses out in a sympathetic sound. She brings her index finger to the scar and traces it gently. Her touch is light and graceful.

“I’m fine – really, Taylor.” But I can’t deny, her concern is sweet. It’s more than McAllister did – he told me to man up and that was it.

Chapter 27

I hurry through the breakfast line, loading a plate with a bagel and fruit salad, then grab a tropical fruit smoothie, before I join MJ and Logan at our usual table. I’m dying to talk to them today.

The more work I’ve done on the oil tanker assignment, the more warning bells have started going off in my head. It’s a real vessel, out on the open sea. Taking it over is like being a hijacker. I have no idea what McAllister could be up to, but something about it doesn’t sit right with me.

Once MJ is done reliving her very graphic date from the other night, I finally get a chance to speak. But when I tell them about my concerns over the assignment, MJ rolls her eyes and Logan chuckles.

“You’re overreacting, Taylor,” MJ says. “Just do the assignment. That’s why we’re here.” She plucks the strawberry from the top of my fruit salad. “You weren’t going to eat that, were you?”

I smile, but inside my stomach churns. MJ’s work is translating documents, and Logan practices building and disabling bombs in an old barn – their work is in no way comparable to my assignments. Hacking is illegal.

Logan shakes his head. “You’re trying to talk to us about assignments, when we actually need to be talking about the other super-duper strange thing that’s been going on inside that computer lab.”

I raise my eyebrows. “And what’s that?”

“The fact that the school’s charming manwhore comes to visit you every day.”

I choke on a sip of smoothie.

MJ leans forward, excited by the change in topic. “Yes, let’s discuss that, Taylor.”

I swallow down the smoothie. “He doesn’t come every day.” He’s missed a day or two over the past few weeks.

“Damn near,” Logan scoffs. “What do you guys do in there any way?”

Before I can respond, MJ thrusts her hips enthusiastically demonstrating her answer.

“No.” I shake my head firmly, staring down MJ until she stops her little display. “I don’t know. We don’t do anything. We just talk, work on assignments, stuff like that.” The truth is, I can’t answer them because I have no idea why Colt comes to hang out with me. I am equal parts happy and worried that he wants to spend time with me. We train together in the mornings, he joins me in Independent Study, and then in his class he pays me extra attention, often pushing me harder than the others.

His behavior towards girls still repulses me, but I’m starting to see that’s not all there is to him. My feelings toward him are starting to concern me, and I know people are starting to notice something’s up between us.

“Well I heard that the second year girls are getting pissed, saying that when he’s with you – they get shot down,” Logan says.

Yes, that was even more curious than him spending time with me – the fact that he seemed to have curbed his appetite.

MJ laughs. “Let’s not start thinking that Colt’s a saint, kids, I’m sure he’s still hooking up when he’s not around you. But Logan’s right, you’re going to make some serious enemies if he keeps this up. People are starting to wonder what game he’s playing.”

Logan turns to MJ. “Don’t hate. Maybe he actually likes her.” He scratches his head. “Or maybe he’s waiting for her eighteenth birthday to roll around.”

Suddenly losing my appetite, I push back from the table and grab my tray. “I’ll see you guys later.”

* * *

We stand in the dance studio, waiting for Zumba to begin. Bria is bent over in front of the sound system, selecting her music. The door pulls open and the roomful of girls all turn. It’s Britt.

“I need to speak with one of your students.” The way she spits the word is like she has a mouthful of venom. “Taylor.” She looks at me, her eyes narrowing.

I turn to Bria. Class is about to begin, surely I won’t be dismissed to go with Britt. A wicked little grin spreads across Bria’s lips. “Sure.” She motions for me to go with Britt. Nothing like a woman scorned.

I inwardly groan. What could Britt want with me? I glance at MJ, who appears just as unsure as I feel. I follow Britt into the locker room.

Britt steps closer, breaching the little space between us so we’re toe to toe. “I don’t know what game you think you’re playing, but your little thing with Colt won’t last.”

Crap. My suspicious are confirmed. I’ve inadvertently made enemies of the second year girls. I stand my ground, though I’m shaking like a leaf in a wind storm. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Colt and I are friends. That’s it. I have no interest in more, knowing where he’s been.” I eye her like she’s a piece of trash, and her eyebrows raise, catching onto my meaning.

“Just be careful, Taylor, that’s all I’m saying,” her tone softens. “You’re pissing a lot of people off right now.”

“Yeah, I caught onto that. But it’s not something I’m worried about. I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?” she questions.

My stomach churns. Hell no. I have no clue what I’m doing spending so much time with the school’s biggest manwhore. I know it will end badly, likely with my heart broken again, but I feel powerless to stop it. My silence tells her everything she needs to know.

Britt pushes past me out the door.

Damn. That was awkward. I sit on the bench, not yet ready to join the rest of the class in the much hated Zumba.

I have no idea why Colt has been spending so much time with me. Now that I thought about it, I realized how incredibly lonely his life must be. Most people see him as an instructor, so he doesn’t have many friends here. And his behavior with girls doesn’t exactly allow for a real relationship – yeah, I’m so not going to feel bad for him in that regard. I’ll talk to him today; he needs to see that this new him is effecting me by drawing enemies my way.

* * *

After Colt’s class, I linger behind, standing beside the punching bags. The room empties out, leaving just Colt and I.

“How’s that oil tanker assignment coming? Have you decided what to do?” he asks, meeting me on the side of the room.

I aim for the bag, throwing a punch that lands with a soft thud. “Not yet,” I breathe.

Colt comes up behind me, grips my hips and turns me to the side, so I’m positioned ninety degrees from the bag. My eyes fall closed at his touch, and images of the last time he touched my hips come flooding back. The way he effortlessly lifted me to the sink and leaned in to kiss me, soft at first, like he was testing what I thought, then with a rushing intensity when I kissed him back.

“Colt, stop.” I wiggle free from his hands. I let out a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding.

He steps back, holding up his hands. “Whoa. Just trying to help.”

“Well it’s not helping, okay?” I turn and face him. “I don’t know what’s going on between us. I have no idea why you come to the computer lab every day. I have no idea why you turn down other girls to spend time with me.” Everything I’m thinking spews from my mouth, against my will. Damn it.

Colt takes a step back. “Well sorry for being friendly.” His tone is soft.

Crap. Maybe I’m being too harsh. I shift my weight, leaning back on my hip. “It’s just... I had a little run in earlier. The second year girls aren’t too happy about me and you and the lack of attention you’re paying them.”

His brow creases. “Someone said something to you? Who was it?”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. Listen, I want you to go back to being the old you.” The words taste bitter in my mouth. I don’t mean it! I scream inside my head.

“What are you saying? You want me to go with them?” His eyes are pure confusion and my heart leaps into my throat.

I nod. I cannot speak.

“Oh.” He turns away from me, and runs his hands through his hair. I want to wrap my arms around his waist and tell him to stay with me, but I can’t. I can’t expect him to change, so I know this is for the best. This will end this little illusion between us before I get really hurt.

There are a million things I want to say to him, but I can’t. I press my lips together and head to the door, leaving Colt standing alone in the center of the room.

On my way into the hall, I pass by Britt and Bria. Together. Coming for him. Wow, they do not fight fair. I shudder picturing Colt with a girl on each arm. I don’t want to wait around to see him leave with them. That visual is more than I can handle.

* * *

The next morning, I arrive for training a few minutes early, but Colt is already there. We’re quiet as we go through the moves together, all business, nothing more than small talk and instruction exchanged between us. I have no idea why things suddenly feel so awkward. My goal had been to get things back to normal, not make things worse.

I’m dying to ask him about yesterday, but of course I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t care.  “So…” I can’t help it, I know I need to shut my mouth, yet my curiosity wins out. “Did you have fun with Bria and Britt last night?” I offer a weak smile.

His face softens, unsure. He bites his lip, hesitating, then meets my eyes. Oh this is not going to be good. He looks like he’s about to admit to a murder. It was a just a threesome – that I pushed him into. Breathe, I remind myself.

I hold up my hand. “Never mind. Don’t answer that. I’ll use my imagination.” I laugh, but it sounds hollow, even to my ears. I turn away from him, nearly in tears.

“We didn’t. I didn’t,” Colt says in barely a whisper.

“Oh.” I turn to face him again. I want to ask why, but I hold my tongue. Our eyes stay locked on each others, communicating so much without speaking a word. I know he’s drawn to me, just like I am to him. Only I have no idea if it’s because he wants me to be another conquest or something more. I need to stop kidding myself. He isn’t capable of something more. He’s said so himself. I release a deep sigh, letting go of some of the tension I’ve felt since yesterday. Colt looks like he wants to say more, but instead we begin our lesson.

We make it through the rest of the training in silence, neither of us willing to speak what’s on our minds. A few times Colt looks at me like he wants to ask something, but stops himself.

Once training ends, I rush off toward the showers, relieved to have survived another day without saying something that will betray my true feelings for Colt.  I cannot let that happen. And with our two-week summer break coming up, it seems I’ll be safe for a little while longer.