Текст книги "In Too Deep"
Автор книги: Eliza Jane
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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 14 страниц)
Chapter 33
After saying goodbye to Piper, I head upstairs, ready for bed. I’m exhausted from the day spent traveling, and catching up with my parents and Piper. I glance at my phone, wondering if Colt’s going to call soon. I am not going to be so love sick over a boy that I wait up all night. Probably.
I change into my pajamas and bring the phone into the bathroom with me as I brush my teeth. As I’m gargling the mouth wash, my phone rings. It’s a number I don’t recognize, Connecticut area code. I spit the mouthful of blue into the sink and dive for the phone, wiping my mouth on my sleeve.
“Hello?”
“Taylor?”
“Yeah?” My voice comes out squeaky, too high.
“It’s Colt.”
“Um, hi.” It feels incredibly strange to be talking to him on the phone. I have no idea why. At first I have no clue what to say to him, but soon find we settle into easy conversation. He has me laughing in no time telling me about his day spent going for a jog where a bird nearly assaulted him and how empty the school seems, and how even though there’s still some kitchen staff on site, they refuse to cook for him.
I head back into my room and toss my dirty clothes into the corner. I sit down on the edge of my bed, nervous energy dancing around inside me. I resist the urge to pace my room while we talk, and instead lie back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
“I’m going stir crazy here. Can you come back early?” Colt’s asks, his voice sounding even deeper over the phone.
It’s only been one day, so he’s obviously being over-dramatic. I do my best not to swoon at his words. “I’m sure you can survive without me there to entertain you.”
He groans. And in my mind, I imagine that’s the sound he’d make with me pressed close to him, driving him wild with desire. But then I’m brought back to reality. There was probably nothing I could do that he hadn’t already experienced, and done more skillfully than I ever could.
“There’s always Internet porn,” I suggest.
He chuckles. “I’m not a complete animal. God, Taylor. I can control myself.”
“Sorry, I didn’t know.”
“I mean, yeah, I’m a guy. So I have certain…needs. But I need other stimulation too. Like intellect, humor, et cetera.”
I shift on my bed so I’m sitting crossed legged. “Well, I stand corrected. I had no idea there was such depth to Colt Palmer.”
“Well, now you know.”
“So seriously, how is it that you have time to chat late at night with the sheer number of girls you’re likely to be entertaining?” I don’t mention Yes. I don’t have to. I know we’re both remembering my little episode last night.
Bedsprings groan and he lets out a soft sigh. I imagine him getting comfortable on his bed, stretching out so his feet hang off the end. “There’s no one here that interests me.”
“Nice. Thanks for calling then. It’s comforting to know I’m a last resort when you’re lonely.”
“No. That’s not it at all,” his voice gets serious for a moment. “You entertain me.” I hear the smile in his tone.
I entertain him? What does that mean? Like a little sister? I’m quiet for a few seconds trying to decipher all the hidden meanings, all the clues to figure out how Colt really feels about me. I’m not sure why I say what I do next, but in the darkness, with the distance between us, I’m feeling bold. “So I entertain you mentally while the others entertain you physically?”
He chokes on his breath and breaks into a coughing fit. “Would that bother you?” he says, once he’s recovered.
Um, yeah. But I don’t want to be too obvious. “That’s kinda a blow to the self-esteem, don’t you think?”
“Hmm.” He’s quiet while he considers this new information.
Crap. I’ve said too much, sounded too concerned. My feelings for him are someday soon going to ruin whatever chance we’ve had at a friendship. “Listen, Colt, forget I said anything. I don’t even know why I brought this up.”
“It’s okay. I think we should talk about this.”
I wait for him to continue, my stomach tightening in knots. I’m not sure if he’s going to bring up our kiss in the hotel bathroom or the meltdown I had in the hallway after seeing his one-night-stand leaving. God, I’m pathetic.
“We pretended that kiss didn’t happen and I guess I feel like I need to explain why I stopped it.”
Awesome. The last thing I wanted to hear him put to words were: A) That he doesn’t feel that way about me, or B) That he isn’t attracted to me.
He clears his throat again, stalling. I’ve never heard him so unsure before. “It just didn’t feel right – doing that with you.”
I roll my eyes. What a dick. “Gee thanks. I know I don’t have one-tenth the experience that you do, but am I that bad of a kisser?”
He laughs lightly. “That’s not what I said.”
I’m more confused than before, but decide to let it go. Only, of course Colt doesn’t drop it.
“What I meant was that my typical mode of operation is…well, you know, probably not the most respectable, and I didn’t want to ruin what we have or use you like that.”
“Oh.” My stomach drops. I’m too speechless to say anything else. I want to ask him exactly what it is we have, but of course I’m too chicken.
“I have fun with you and didn’t want you to hate me, Taylor. So that’s why I stopped.”
“I could never hate you.” My voice shakes, betraying me. I know I’m completely vulnerable, breakable, and I would be putty in Colt’s hands, regardless if the outcome left me in a heartbroken mess afterwards.
“I’ve always been honest with girls about what I wanted and didn’t want. I was always very clear that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but that never stopped them from thinking they’d be different, that they would be the one to change my mind.”
I lie back against my pillows and close my eyes, imagining Colt doing the same thing in his bed. “So you were worried that I’d fall for you or something?”
He laughs softly again, his breath coming through scratchy against the speaker. “Sorry, I sound like a dick, don’t I?”
“Little bit.” My voice is tight, mocking.
He laughs again. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“Yeah? How do you plan to do that?”
“Hm.” He considers it, quiet for a second. “Once you’re back, maybe we can do something, just the two of us. I’ll take you out. It’ll be fun.”
“Out?” I question, my voice full of surprise. I sit up in bed, waiting for his answer.
“Yes, out. You haven’t seen much of Connecticut. We’ll go somewhere nice. I’ll make up for my testosterone induced behavior.”
“Like a date?” I question. Oh, God. Dumb question Taylor. Of course it’s not a date. Ugh.
“Yes, like a date.”
Wait, what? “I thought you were seeing Yes.”
“I’m not seeing anyone.”
Hm. I chew my bottom lip. I don’t want to be that girl. Yes was just in his bed– a bed that for all intents and purposes functioned much like a revolving door. “I’ll consider it.”
A hiss escapes through his clenched teeth.
He’s going to have to work for this – for me –and it isn’t something he’s used to. Colt’s never had to chase after anyone. I like the idea that I could be the first, however delusional I might be.
“I’m putting myself out there – asking you to go out with me Taylor, I think you should do more than consider it. Say yes.” His voice is low, commanding.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” His voice is higher than before. He sounds happy.
“Yeah. That sounds…pleasant.” Despite my best effort, I giggle. “What the hell have you done with Colt Palmer?”
“People can change, Taylor.” I can tell he’s smirking again. “Taylor,” he breathes softly.
“Yeah?” I’m just as breathless.
“For the record, you’re not a bad kisser.”
My heart pounds against my rib cage, and my face breaks into a smile, but I stay quiet, barely able to breath, let alone speak.
“Taylor?” he says softly, again.
“Yeah?”
“Speaking of Internet porn, can I use your computer?”
That was the last thing I expected him to say. I should feel disgusted, but instead all my senses are humming. “Why?” I ask, my heart thumping erratically in my chest.
“It’s got a bigger monitor than mine.”
I shake my head. I don’t know if he’s being serious or messing with me, but either way I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to get that visual out of my head. “Sure. Just don’t get any love juice on my keyboard.”
“Will do. Night Taylor.”
“Night Colt.” There’s no way in hell I would be getting any sleep tonight.
Chapter 34
I lie back against my bed, unable to wipe the smile off my face from my conversation with Taylor. How does she get me to say the things I don’t even know I’m thinking? To admit feelings I didn’t know I had? That’s got to stop. And asking her out on a date? The lack of sex is totally fucking with my system. I swear I’m not thinking clearly. But still, I chuckle at the conversation. Her quick intake of breath when I asked if I could use her computer and all that it implied. I grin at my own cleverness.
She’s really getting under my skin. My normal response would be to get in, get out, and get on with my life. But somehow I knew once with Taylor wouldn’t be enough. And that scared the shit out of me. She’d want the whole white picket fence, soul mates and romance thing, and damn if this girl didn’t make me want to try. But I knew that was more than I could give. I was in way out of my league. But I’d never backed down from a challenge before. And I didn’t plan to start now.
I turn over in bed, punching the pillow into shape and lay back, hoping to get some sleep. Not going to happen.
My shoulders are tense, and all my senses are on high alert after talking to her. I pick up my phone with one thing on my mind – solving this problem – quenching this desire the only way I know how. I scroll through my contact list. I find Samantha, under Yes, and knowing nothing else will help me get my mind off things, I type out a text.
Come over tonight?
My thumb hovers over send. The last time she came over I found Taylor in the hall crying. Her eyes blazed deep navy when she cried and little hiccups racked her chest even after the tears stopped.
She isn’t here, I remind myself. She’ll never know if you’re with Samantha tonight. This used to be so easy. A frustrated growl rips through me and without thinking, I delete the text. I slam the phone down onto the table. This is going to be a long night.
My phone chimes with a new email. Half expecting it to be from Samantha, I’m surprised to see it’s from Taylor.
A smile tugs at my lips as read the subject line. I open it.
FROM: Taylor Beckett
TO: Colt Palmer
SUBJECT: Horny teenage boys
Mr. Palmer,
On second thought, I would not like you using my technology for your personal pursuits.
Zip up your pants.
I’ll wait.
Done?
Good.
Porn objectifies women and creates unrealistic expectations in men. I know that’s all we are to you, objects to play with, but someone’s got to teach you. And I will gladly take the job.
Go to bed.
Taylor.
I hit reply, but no there’s way I’m leaving that as the subject line. I chuckle to myself at her sassiness.
TO: Taylor Beckett
FROM: Colt Palmer
SUBJECT: Goodnight
Taylor,
If you think I need your computer to get off, you’re insane. I have an extensive bank of memories stored in my imagination.
BTW – I am your teacher, not the other way around.
Shall we discuss the terms of our date?
Colt
A few seconds later, my phone chimes with a new message. I sit up in bed and flip on my lamp.
TO: Colt Palmer
FROM: Taylor Beckett
SUBJECT: Re: Goodnight
Mr. Palmer,
I’m not sure it’s wise for me to go on a date with a teacher.
Taylor
I roll my eyes and hit reply.
TO: Taylor Beckett
FROM: Colt Palmer
SUBJECT: Re: Goodnight
Taylor,
Stop with the Mr. Palmer shit.
I stare down at my phone, but she doesn’t respond right away. Maybe I pissed her off. Maybe she’s changed her mind about going out with me. I’ve never tried so hard to win over a girl. This is strange, and entirely new to me.
My phone chimes with a new message.
TO: Colt Palmer
FROM: Taylor Beckett
SUBJECT: Re: Goodnight
Colt,
We’ll talk about the date when I get back.
Have fun with Yes tonight.
Taylor
I feel guilty for almost texting Samantha in a moment of weakness earlier. And now am relieved I didn’t. I sense she’s testing me, and for some reason I’m eager to pass her test. I hit reply.
TO: Taylor Beckett
FROM: Colt Palmer
SUBJECT: Re: Goodnight
Taylor,
Yes isn’t coming over tonight.
All alone in bed,
Colt
The phone chimes again and I open her next message, my eyes noting the subject line with a smirk.
TO: Colt Palmer
FROM: Taylor Beckett
SUBJECT: Your sexual health
Colt,
I’m concerned. Do you know how to handle being all alone at night? Why not just call her?
Taylor
I tap reply.
TO: Taylor Beckett
FROM: Colt Palmer
SUBJECT: Re: Your sexual health
Taylor,
It’s comforting to know you’re concerned about my sexual health, but I won’t be calling her tonight. I saw how much doing so upset you the last time and I don’t want to see you like that ever again. So tonight, I’ll suffer in silence. For you.
Goodnight.
Get some sleep.
Colt
I sit up straighter, realizing with absolute horror that what I typed is true, not just some shit to impress her. Cheap thrills are not worth hurting Taylor like that again. I have no idea what that means, but I have an uneasy feeling about it all the same.
I flip off the lamp, stuff the phone under my pillow and drift to sleep with a smile still on my lips.
* * *
In the morning, I’m sitting in McAllister’s office looking over the newest cases. Vera comes in with a tray balancing two steaming mugs of coffee.
“Thank you Vera. That’s all.” McAllister waves her off.
I treat her to a smile and she nods, backing out of the room.
With the two-week summer break, McAllister and I are busy securing new business for the months ahead. He’s obsessed with this oil tanker case, but I can’t figure out his motivation. It’s a ship in the middle of the ocean. He says he just wants to test Taylor’s skills. I’m not sure I believe him.
I’d made the conscious decision when I began here three years ago to never tell anyone that McAllister is my dad. I didn’t want to be treated differently, or to have anyone think I hadn’t earned my way. I had. And then some. His standards for me were higher than for anyone else. Which was fine by me. I didn’t want his pity. One day I’d be running this place, because I deserved it, not because he felt obligated to give it to me.
I scan the rest of the files on his desk, looking for something that sparks my interest. Something that will get me out on the road again, hopefully with Taylor at my side. The next time I’m alone with her, I won’t hold back. She will be mine.
Chapter 35
My break is over faster than I imagined. Sunburnt filled days at the pool with Piper, dinner every evening with my mom and dad, and bonfires at night where I successfully navigate Wes’ advances, and actually find, he no longer has any pull over me. His boyish immaturity doesn’t hold a candle to Colt’s sexy masculinity.
I missed Wilbrook. I missed MJ’s insanity and the balance Logan brought us. I missed training with Colt and the adrenaline of the assignments McAllister gave me. And despite my dad’s home cooking, I missed the food in the café.
Before I know it, it’s time to go back. All my clothes are folded, freshly laundered, and stacked in a laundry basket in the trunk of my dad’s car, along with my olive green duvet and body pillow.
My parents and I make the journey back to Connecticut, more quiet this time on the drive than before.
When we arrive, there’s a barbeque underway, out on the front lawn. Parents are welcome to stay for lunch. My parents stay for a late lunch, but have to get back on the road for their drive back. The entire time we eat and make small talk with Vera and MJ’s parents, my eyes search for Colt. But he’s nowhere to be found. I wonder if he was serious about our date. I try to convince myself he was kidding. After all, we talked on the phone every night and emailed throughout my break, but neither of us ever mentioned that date again.
Once I see my parents off, MJ and I make our way upstairs. She helps me make my bed with my duvet cover from home.
“How was your break? Anything interesting happen?” she asks.
“Funny you should ask.” I know talking to her about Colt is a stupid idea. I pray she won’t flip out and judge me too harshly. “I kind of need to talk to you about something.”
Her eyebrows dart up.
I pat the freshly made bed. “Sit.”
She does, her eyes still on me.
“So…” Rip it off like a Band-Aid, Taylor. “Colt asked me out.”
She cocks her head, shock and horror visible on her face. “Asked you out?” She shakes her head. “He doesn’t ask people out. He takes them back to his room like a caveman. End of story.”
I laugh nervously. “I know. I thought so too.”
“What exactly did he say? And when was this?”
“Over break. We talked and emailed every day. And the first night I was away, he told me he’d make up for his recent behavior by taking me out.”
“And you said?” She waits, her eyes conveying her concern.
I look down, plucking at the blanket. “Um, I sorta said yes.”
“You slut!”
I giggle. “MJ!”
She laughs. “It’s your death, baby.” She pats my leg. “But I’ll be there to catch you when you fall.”
My stomach twists nervously and I remember her friend Jewel. “Thanks,” I mumble.
Chapter 36
As I’m finishing putting away all my clothes, I sense movement out of the corner of me eye.
Colt stands in the doorway to the girl’s dormitory staring at me.
I jump up. “Hi.” My voice is too eager. I try again. “Hey.”
He smirks at my jumpy response. “Hey.” His voice is smooth, molten and utterly sexy. God I’ve missed him way more than is rationally healthy.
I walk closer, sensing he won’t enter the dorm. I stand in front of him just inside the doorway.
“So… about that date.” He smiles a cocky lopsided grin down at me.
I wait, breathless, my heart galloping.
“Can you be ready in an hour?” His voice is just a whisper.
I nod.
“Good. Meet me at the front door. One hour.” He brings one finger to my lips and presses it there for a brief moment. A promise of a kiss later, I can’t help but think. He drops his hand slowly.
I nod again, sure I’ve completely forgotten how to speak.
As soon as Colt’s gone, I snap to attention, grabbing my bathroom bag, making sure I have a razor and then dash down the hallway toward the showers.
Fifty-five minutes later, I’ve showered, shaved my legs and underarms, dried and straightened my hair, talked MJ into doing my makeup and am dressed in dark jeans, ballet flats and a fitted blue top that MJ says makes my eyes pop. The top is cut in a deeper neckline than I’d normally wear, but I like it and am grateful to MJ for loaning me clothes and helping me, even though I know she’s doesn’t approve of my date.
I thank her, grab my purse and dash down the stairs. I make myself slow down and navigate the steps carefully, not wanting to stumble and embarrass myself in front of sex god, Colt Palmer.
When I reach the bottom, Colt’s waiting in the entryway, leaning against the banister at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at me expectantly.
His eyes are soft, full of wonder as he drinks me in. I make myself go the last few steps to him. He’s also wearing dark jeans, I note and a button down white shirt. His skin is tan, and healthy. His hair is perfectly disheveled and his eyes dance on mine. God he’s incredible. Breathe, Taylor.
We’re both quiet as Colt helps me into the BMW, which has conveniently been pulled up and parked outside the front doors. His fingertips graze the small of my back as he tucks me safely into the car. I resume breathing once he closes my door. There’s an obvious chemistry between us and I can tell we’re both aware of it.
I breathe in. I’d forgotten the scent of his car. Pure Colt. Clean male with a trace of spicy cologne. It makes my knees weak. I clamp my thighs together and focus on breathing.
“Pick out some music.” Colt hands me his mp3 player.
I scroll through the songs and chose something I’ve never heard of. “Grouplove?” I ask.
“It’s more than just music. It’s a lifestyle.” He cracks a sideways grin.
I chuckle as the music starts. Its seductive thrumming beats in time with my heart. “You have interesting tastes, Mr. Palmer.”
He shoots me a warning glance, then shakes his head. He finds my hand and gives it a squeeze, the hard look on his face falling away. “You are a sassy little thing, aren’t you?”
I don’t answer. Instead I loose myself in the beat of the music, the warmth of Colt’s hand around mine, the smooth motion of the car as we race down the highway. So far this date equals perfection.
Colt pulls up to a fancy yet understated restaurant and parks right in front. He climbs out, tossing his keys to the valet, who catches them with a look of surprise. Then Colt’s at my door, opening it and pulling me up to him. His eyes are playful, but he quickly releases me, keeping one hand on my lower back as he guides me to the door.
We’re led to a table in the back corner, where it’s dim and quiet. The table is covered in crisp white linen and a small votive candle burns in the center. It’s romantic without being overly done.
Colt pulls out my seat for me, and I slide down into it. So far he’s been a perfect gentleman. If I didn’t already know to be weary about his past, I wouldn’t have believed a word of it after seeing his behavior tonight.
I take a moment to survey our surroundings. The restaurant has exposed brick walls, tall ceilings open to the heating ducts above and a rustic stone fire place at its center.
When my eyes find Colt’s he’s openly watching me. I blush under his steady scrutiny, wondering what on earth he could be thinking about when he looks at me like that.
“What?” I ask.
“You look beautiful tonight.” His eyes stay locked on mine, making my breath catch.
I look down. “Thank you.”
Luckily, the waitress arrives to save me. She’s tall, slender, blonde and pretty. Her eyes drift hungrily over Colt while my stomach clenches with jealousy. I wait for her to address him by name, assuming he brings all his dates here. But she doesn’t.
She takes our drink orders. Sparkling water for him, Diet Coke for me.
“So you must bring all your dates here.” I fumble with my straw.
His brows knit together. “No. I’ve never brought a date here.”
Oh.
“We used to come here for my mom’s birthday every year.” He leans forward with his elbows on the table. “That was the tradition in my family. Who’s ever birthday it was got to choose. She always chose here. I haven’t been here in years.” He glances toward the front of the restaurant, his mouth turning down a touch. “She liked to sit up there though.” He nods toward the windows. “I thought that might be too strange.” He rubs his chin, thoughtfully.
“Oh.” I’m shocked he brought me here. This place is very special to him. It must conjure up all kinds of memories. I have the urge to lean closer and take his hand, but I don’t.
“Your curiosity satisfied?” he asks, leaning back in his chair once again.
I nod. I feel ashamed for thinking the worst of Colt –assuming that he was closely acquainted with our waitress, when in reality he brought me somewhere he used to go with his mother.
We share a delicious meal that Colt orders. And even though we’re stuffed, he orders tiramisu, convincing me I’ll like it even though I don’t like coffee. I do. It’s delicious and so is the way his eyes widen when I lick the cream from my spoon.
After dinner he takes me to the beach and points at a lighthouse in the distance. “Are you up for walking there?”
I nod eagerly and slip off my shoes. He takes the ballet flats from me, remarking how little they are and tucks them into his back pocket. He removes his shoes too, letting them dangle from one hand. I look down. Naked feet. Even his feet are hot. Long and narrow.
We set off walking down the beach as the sun sets. In the sun it would have been too hot, but now the air is perfect. Crisp, with a light breeze. It’s the perfect summer night. We walk in silence, just the sound of crashing waves as our backdrop.
“How do you know about this place?” I ask. “Is this another place your mom liked?”
Without meaning to, we’ve been chatting casually about her off and on throughout the night. His eyes grow soft whenever he speaks of her.
“No.” His answer is quick – to the point. “When I was in high school, we used to have parties on this beach and sneak off to the lighthouse with girls.” He grins at me guiltily.
“Oh I’m sure you never did anything like that, Colt,” I feign surprise. “I’m sure you were a perfect gentleman.”
“Are you kidding me? I practically invented it.”
When we reach the lighthouse, he expertly pops the padlock on the door and holds it open for me.
“I was giving you an out,” I say.
“I know.” He grins. “But I don’t have to pretend when I’m with you. You already know about me and yet you can’t seem to stay away.” He leans closer, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear. “You’ve fallen for my irresistible charm.”
I laugh, my breath catching in my chest. “Hardly.”
His face falls and he studies me, trying to see if I’m joking.
I step past him into the narrow stairwell. “I hang around because someday soon you’ll knock someone up or come home with a disease and you’ll need someone level headed and mature,” I gesture to myself, “to pick up the pieces.”
He shakes his head at me, but doesn’t dispute it.
I climb up the steep stairs, trailing my fingers along the narrow walls as we advance toward the top. I stumble a few times in the darkness and Colt’s strong hands find my hips, steadying me each time. His touch makes my pulse jump.
When we reach the top, all my senses are humming, the salty seawater smell, the rich wood inside the lighthouse, my breathlessness from the climb up, Colt’s hands innocently on me in the darkness.
