Текст книги "Touch of the Demon"

Автор книги: Diana Rowland

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Текущая страница: 24 (всего у книги 31 страниц)

I looked to Gestamar. “I think you’d better. I have a feeling he’s going to leave out all the juicy bits.”

Gestamar snorted. “She grabbed his cock through his breeches and held on like a graa on a tagan fruit.” I gathered from the way the reyza clenched his hand that he meant to convey with greatferocity.

Mzatal cursed softly in demon. “To this day I do not know how she managed it.”

Gestamar continued. “She yelled out all of the things she could do for him, and he was…in shock.”

I didn’t think I’d ever before heard a reyza rumble that heavily with laughter.

Mzatal leveled a frown at Gestamar. “It was unexpected and hurt quitea lot.” He looked back to Idris and me. “As Gestamar said, I was indeed stunned. Though I had no physical shielding active, the assault was still startling,” he said, then hesitated. “I first tried to simply wrest her hand away.”

“That was unwise,” Gestamar commented.

Idris cringed noticeably. I burst out laughing. “Oh no.”

Mzatal cleared his throat. “When I recovered from my error, I breathed a pygah and used potency to prize her fingers off. And still the woman screamed what she could do for me,” he said with a shake of his head and an amused smile. “I stayed well away from her reach.”

I wiped tears away from laughing so hard. “Did she ever leave? Or did you have her carted off?”

“Mzatal set a triple pygah,” Gestamar told us, “which, along with the wine she had consumed, eased her greatly.”

Mzatal nodded. “The faas reclothed her, and Gestamar carried her back to her quarters. And I continued to mine.”

“He continued slowly and carefullyto his chambers,” Gestamar clarified.

I tried hard not to snort my wine. “Did she remember any of it the next day?”

“Only vague remnants,” Mzatal said, “though I remembered all.”

“And the parties were never the same after that, I bet.”

“I maintained light physical shielding among the humans,” he said with a smile. “But Marguerite…” He paused and his eyes went distant as though remembering, a slow smile growing. “All of the delicious acts she screamed out? She could perform every one and more.” His eyes flashed with good humor. “This I determined in the next week when I encountered her by the little waterfall.”

That got even more laughter. “And I bet she was much more fun when she wasn’t blitzed,” I said.

Mzatal raised an eyebrow. “Indeed. I prefer coherent, cognizant, and inclined,” he said. “While inebriated, she was most inclined, but neither coherent nor cognizant.”

I leaned back and sipped my wine. It was clear that the lord was far from chaste, but I had to appreciate his desire for a willing partner in full control of her faculties. Hell, better than a lot of guys back home who’d have taken advantage of a situation like that in a heartbeat.

Mzatal opened his mouth to speak again, then turned and looked at Faruk. He stood abruptly, strode to the faas and crouched while Gestamar hissed softly.

I set my glass down. “What’s going on?”

Mzatal laid his hand on Faruk’s back and spoke softly in demon. The faas seemed to huddle in on itself, tip of its tail trembling like a rattlesnake’s.

Idris glanced over at me. “Faruk is being summoned to Earth.” His brow furrowed. “It doesn’t happen often for her.”

“Her?” I blurted, then grimaced at how stupid that sounded. But none of the faas had any sort of visual or behavioral features to indicate gender. I usually winged it and guessed, but I had a feeling Idris actually knew.

His eyes crinkled. “Yes, and Jekki is male. They’re a mated pair.” His gaze went back to Faruk, and I stood, deeply curious about what a summoning looked like from this side.

Faruk detached her pouch of kek tokens from her belt and tossed it to Gestamar, then laid her hand on Mzatal’s knee. Wind swirled around them, and the whine of a portal overrode the incessant rush of the waterfall. Mzatal stood and stepped backward to the table, eyes on Faruk.

The portal opened with a rush of wind and the stench of sulphur, and a heartbeat later, tendrils of luminescent mist-like potency wreathed the faas, and she disappeared. Jekki chittered, his tail twisting and writhing in what I’d come to recognize as faas agitation.

I remembered to breathe again as the arcane wind died away to nothing. “Do you know who summoned her?”

Mzatal nodded slowly, eyes narrowed. “Rasha Hassan Jalal al-Khouri. I had thought her dead, she has been so long without summoning.”

The name didn’t ring any bells, and I filed it away. I glanced at Gestamar as he moved to clear the residuals from the summoning. A pang of selfish longing tugged, as I wished it had been Gestamar, along with my letters, rather than Faruk. I pushed down my impatience. There were two days yet during this Earth full moon for Gestamar or the other designated letter-carriers, Jekki and Bezik, to be summoned.

Mzatal turned back to Idris and me. “It is late, and we meet early tomorrow,” he said, edge in his voice and the set of his face indicating that the party was over for him. Jekki pressed close to his thigh, and the lord laid a hand on the faas’s head.

I got it. One of his demons was out, and he was back into serious lord mode. I acknowledged with a nod, hesitated, then moved to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “You’re okay, Boss,” I said smiling up at him. “Thanks for the Christmas.”

He stood unmoving for a heartbeat, then lifted his hands to the sides of my head, leaned in and kissed my forehead. He tucked his hands behind his back again, inclined his head a smidge. “Rest well, Kara Gillian.”

“You too, Mzatal,” I said, then gave Idris a hug before heading out. I looked down at the ring on my right hand and smiled. All in all, it had actually been a pretty decent Christmas.

Chapter 33

Thirty.My hand touched the stone at the end of the pool. I tucked my legs as I glided to a stop, pushed off the end, and began another lap. Fifty laps. That was my goal.

Mzatal’s palace was full of things that were just plain Awesome. The library with three full floors of books and spiral staircases, the greenhouse on the north end of the roof with its collection of weirdest-plants-of-the-demon-realm, the waterfall walkway that spanned the river where it plunged from the cliff in its rainbow cascade to the sea far below.

But hands down, my favorite was the pool that I’d dubbed The Very Awesome Pool of Awesomeness. This wasn’t just some run-of-the-mill indoor pool. Hell, it wasn’t even a really fantastic luxury pool that you might find in a mansion or high-end hotel. No, this thing was glorious. Fed by the river, it was like an indoor grotto, with a large inner pool about twenty-five yards long that was perfect for swimming laps; a far deeper section for safe diving—complete with rocky ledges from which to dive; and numerous pools to the side that were either fed by hot springs or warded to be warm. The main pool, however, stayed cool enough for comfortable swimming. The roof above it was thick resin-glass. Rocks and waterfalls surrounded everything, along with lush tropical plant life. The only thing missing was the sounds of birds and monkeys.

Swimming had become a surprise therapy for me in the past several days. Athletics and I had never gotten along, but strangely enough, I’d actually developed a semi-fondness for swimming laps. I was a more-than-decent swimmer, yet also ridiculously self-conscious; I detested swimming laps at the gym or any other public pool. Here, I had the pool to myself more often than not, and there was usually no one but demons to see me. I could have swum naked if I’d so desired, but in the interest of not traumatizing Idris, I had the zrila make up a bathing suit for me. Actually, I asked for one simple bathing suit, but by the next day I had close to a dozen varying styles in my wardrobe. Apparently the zrila really enjoyed a crafting challenge.

I’d started swimming laps as a spur of the moment, Gee-let’s-see-if-I-can-actually-still-swim-a-few-laps sort of thing, but I soon discovered that when I swam I could forget. I could lose myself in the rhythm of the strokes and the feel of the water, and for that time I wasn’t Kara the demon summoner, or Kara the traumatized survivor of torture. I was simply Kara.

But today, I actually thought about summoning while I swam. None of the three demons bearing my letters had been summoned during this full moon, and I forced myself to control the selfish ache. Faruk had seemed nervous, perhaps even frightened before her summoning, but that could easily have been because she was so seldom summoned. Or was there more to it? It had hurt to be summoned when Idris brought me through, like being dragged through broken glass. And from what I’d seen, it had hurt Katashi as well. Yet I had a feeling it wasn’t anything that Idris was specifically doing or not doing. Even the times I’d summoned Rhyzkahl it had seemed to take him a few seconds to gather himself, to recover.

I finished my laps and propped myself up along the edge of the pool. I cast my gaze up at the rocks to see if any demons were around. There were usually a few here and there, but this time the only one I saw was Gestamar, perched on the diving ledge. As I looked up at him he made a graceful bound down to a rock closer to me, as if sensing I had a question for him.

“Does it hurt for y’all to be summoned?” I asked him.

He snorted. “Always. Sometimes more than others, depending on the skill of the summoner and the degree of conjunction.”

“Then why do it?” I asked, brow creased. “Why put up with it? I mean surely it’s not simply for coffee and popcorn and books?”

“We like coffee and popcorn and books,” Gestamar replied.

I laughed. “Okay, I suppose Icould see doing it for coffee.” I tilted my head and peered at him. “Is there some other reason you tolerate it?”

The reyza spread his wings wide. “Kri,” he said, then settled his wings in close and bared his teeth.

I waited, then rolled my eyes. “Well, will you tell me?”

Gestamar bared his teeth wider. “Dahn.”

Laughing, I splashed at him. He leaped into the air, nimbly avoiding most of the water, then cannonballed into the pool, thoroughly swamping me. Before I knew it the pool area was filled with demons, and an enormous water fight commenced that rivaled the Epic Snowball Fight at Rhyzkahl’s palace.

I grinned and escaped the pool, then grabbed my robe and retreated down the corridor. Demons certainly knew how to have fun. That was something I never everwould have guessed in a million years.

“They miss having humans around.”

I yelped and turned at the resonant voice. Vahl leaned against the wall of the corridor, arms folded, eyes on me. His skin glistened dark and with vibrant health as though salt scrubs, mud baths, and Mega Vitamins for Skin and Hair were the norm. His casual pose reminded me of a mountain lion, sleek and powerful, beautiful and dangerous.

“Lord Vahl,” I said, and tried not to think about the fact that I was wearing a tank-style bathing suit and nothing else. “You’ve been, ah, watching?”

He gave a nod, smiling a little. “They love to play,” he said with a glance toward the demons. “And they love the different rules needed to play with humans.”

“I’ve noticed that they do love games.” I paused, regarded him. “Michelle says you treat her very well.”

He shrugged. “I value her. We all miss humans, though some will not admit it, and the reasons vary.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “She had a really shit life on Earth. Don’t fuck her up.”

He uncrossed his arms and pushed off the wall. “I’ve no reason to do so.”

“Please keep it that way,” I said, well aware that I had zero authority to back up my little mandate.

Vahl snorted softly. “And what of you and Mzatal?” His eyes dropped to the partial sigils visible on my upper chest, then returned to my face.

“What of us?” I responded, shrugging. “I’m in an agreement with him.”

Vahl tilted his head and smiled. “There are agreements and agreements.”

I chuckled low in my throat. “And why do you care?”

“Simple curiosity.” His smile widened.

I snorted. What a line of shit. But Vahl wasn’t being pushy or obnoxious in any way. He was simply testing the waters. “We don’t fuck,” I told him. “Is that what you wanted to know?”

He dipped his head in a small nod. “It will serve.”

“Okaaaay,” I drawled. I glanced back to see how the water war was progressing, surprised to see that it seemed to be finished. Not a demon in sight anywhere. Where the hell had they all disappeared to so quickly?

“They have a tendency to do that,” Vahl said. I looked back at him to see his gaze on the pool area as well. “They are here and then not.”

It took me a second to realize he’d read my mental wondering about the demons. “Shit,” I breathed, annoyed at myself. I quickly drew on the grove to fog my thoughts.

One eyebrow lifted as Vahl noted the fogging. “That makes everything more interesting,” he murmured, stepping closer, exuding natural sexiness. “Though reading can make everything very… verysatisfying.”

I retreated half a step to find the corridor wall at my back. The man was pretty damn hot, and Michelle definitely had a good thing going on in that regard. I also knew that Mzatal wouldn’t blink twice about me sleeping with Vahl as long it was my own choice to do so. “I like keeping my thoughts to myself,” I muttered.

Vahl smiled and closed the distance between us. He lifted a hand and pushed a wet tendril of hair from my face. “As I said…interesting.” My pulse sped as he traced his fingers lightly along my jaw. His eyes stayed on mine while I gulped softly and wondered whether he was really about to kiss me, wondered if I wanted it, if it was a good idea, and if he was a good kisser.

He leaned down and lightly brushed my lips with his, then kissed me for real, a curl-my-toes kiss, and I lost myself for several heartbeats before remembering both myself and the devious nature of the lords. Yeah, this would probably be good– great—sex, but I’d had that with Rhyzkahl and look where that got me. And not that there was a damn thing wrong with casual sex, but right now, I wanted sex to mean something.

I placed my hand in the center of his chest and lightly pushed, breaking the kiss. “That was most enjoyable, Lord Vahl,” I said, breath coming a teensy bit raggedly. “But I think that will have to do.”

He stepped back without protest, inclined his head in acknowledgment with perhaps just a bit of it’s-your-loss thrown in. “Perhaps another time will be more opportune.”

I gave him a smile and a nod, but inside I was thinking, Don’t hold your breath.I turned away, exited the corridor, then headed back through the atrium. Mzatal was on the mezzanine, and when I lifted my eyes to his he gave me a warm smile that touched me down to my toes. He’d been monitoring, I realized, and would have interceded in a heartbeat if Vahl had chosen to press his advance past where I wanted.

Feeling damn good about myself and my situation, I headed back to my room to get out of my wet things..

Chapter 34

The next few days were comfortable routine. Up at daybreak, quick breakfast and a cup of precious coffee, then off to the workroom for several hours of review, drills, new stuff, practice, lather, rinse, repeat. Then a break for lunch and personal time and any “homework” that had been assigned, and back to the workroom in mid-afternoon for yet more reviews, drill, etc. Finally, a break for supper, sleep, and other silly-but-necessary stuff.

To my surprise, I found myself slotting in exercise as silly-but-necessary—and completely by my own choice, at that. Swimming, the damn stairs, and now even running.

Look at me being all athletic and shit,I thought with a snort as I tugged on a sports bra and shorts and laced up my sneakers for a run after supper. Jill wouldn’t have any idea who the hell I was by the time I made it home. Hell, I actually had– gasp—muscle tone in my legs!

Safar and Gestamar flew sparring patterns above, watching over me as I headed out. The sun drifted low over the sea surrounded by banks of white clouds that promised a glorious sunset, but I estimated I had at least an hour and a half of daylight left. It had been well over a month since I’d last gone jogging with Jill, so I started out at a sedate shuffle. I was a crap judge of distance, but Gestamar had advised me that the path that looped around the lake was approximately two miles.

I had to do the stop-and-walk a few times, but nowhere near as much as I expected. By the time I made it around the lake and headed back toward the palace, I barely even felt sore anymore, though I knew that tomorrow would probably be a much different story.

The path curved up toward the main entrance, but when I neared my favorite pile of bricks at the base of the hill, I left the path and jogged across the grass toward the rocky slope and the column atop it. I could finish up with a speed climb up the hill and then feel super virtuous before collapsing in an exhausted heap. Hey, it was all about making me stronger, right?

My sprint-climb up the hill ended up being more of a gasping, flailing slog, but I eventually made it to the top. To my surprise, a shirtless Idris was there, about fifteen yards from me, doing pushups in the grass beside the column. As I watched, he cranked out another dozen or so perfect pushups, then leaped up and began tracing a series of complex sigils, face a mask of concentration as he worked his scarred hand. As soon as it was done, he waved a hand to dispel the series, then dropped to do more pushups.

I slowly lowered myself to sit cross-legged on the grass, not wanting to interrupt. Idris smoothly pressed out twenty pushups, then rose and began tracing the same series again with a grace that was utterly at odds with his somewhat awkward social skills. For that matter, everything about him right now was so far from the uncertain youth that it was nearly impossible to believe they were the same. Not only the surety of movement and the confidence with which he traced the sigils, but—holy shit, dude was built like a gymnast. He’d been shirtless when he summoned me, but I’d been a bit too preoccupied to notice anything but the fact that, yeah, he wasn’t scrawny.

A breeze cooled the sweat on my body as Idris dispelled the sigils and dropped to do yet another twenty pushups. I watched the muscles flow in his shoulders and back. Why the hell had he been wasting his time pining over me? Girls would be falling all over him given the chance.

He rose again, but this time he began to move in what I quickly realized was the beginning of the shikvihr. I remained utterly quiet, watching in fascinated awe as he traced sigils in a fluid dance of movement. He set the first four rings as easily as breathing, slowing only slightly on the fifth, and having only the barest uncertainty as he finished the sixth. He began the seventh ring, made it halfway through, then paused as if he’d run into a wall of molasses. I held my breath as he oh-so-carefully unwound the last sigil without disturbing the rest of the pattern. He went utterly still, and I could practically feel his complete focus.

After nearly half a minute he began to move again, with only a minor adjustment in his stance and in the position of the next sigil, but apparently that was enough. He finished the series and ignited the partial pattern, then gave a whoop of triumph.

I got to my feet, applauding as I headed his way. “Dude, that was amazing!”

Grinning, he met my eyes. He’d been aware of my presence the whole time, I realized. He turned a slow circle, admiring the creation, then made a sweeping motion, dispersing the pattern with a whisper of wind and soft chiming sound. “Yeah!” He lifted his hand for a high five, and I was more than happy to provide one for him.

“How long have you been working on learning this?” I asked.

Idris picked up a towel and water bottle from beside the column, wiped his face, still smiling broadly. “Since about two weeks after I got here. So, four months-ish.”

Blinking, I did my best to hide my dismay. “Damn. If it took youfour months to get to the seventh ring, I’m going to be here for years before I finish it.”

He took a slug from the water bottle and shrugged. “Most summoners never finish it. You get whatever you can out of it, and that’s what you end up using.” The grin spread across his face again. “I’m psychedI got through the seventh ring!”

My mouth tightened in annoyance. “Mzatal said I couldn’t go home until I learned it.”

“Damn,” he said. “The whole thing?”

I thought back to the wording of the agreement. “Yep. He definitely said that I had to pass the shikvihr initiation. The whole motherfucking thing.” I cursed under my breath, then straightened and shook my head. No, I wasn’t going to wallow in homesickness or angst or any of that shit. “So I guess I need to get my ass in gear.”

Idris’s face was a mask of consternation. “Wait. He said you had to pass the initiation?”

“Well, yeah.” I frowned. “Why? Is there some difference between learning and passing?”

“Uh-huh,” he said. “It’s the difference between this,” he pointed at the ground, “and that.” He hooked his thumb over his shoulder at the column. “Most never complete a full shikvihr on the ground. I think there’ve only been a handful of summoners in all history who’ve passed it on the column.”

Numb horror flowed through me, and for several seconds I could only stare at Idris. “A handful?” I finally managed. “In what, a few thousand years?” I thought quickly back to Mzatal’s words. That rat fucker.He hadn’t lied. He’d told me how long it had taken people to pass the shikvihr initiation. He’d simply cleverly omitted the detail about it being such a miniscule number. Fury and hurt rose within me.

I turned toward the palace. “MZATAL! YOU’RE A FILTHY DEVIOUS MOTHERFUCKER!”

Idris winced and ducked his shoulders as if expecting a lightning strike. “Shit, Kara!”

I clenched and unclenched my hands. “That devious, conniving son of a bitch. He found a way to make sureI stay here.”

Idris gave me a worried look. “The agreement to go back is based totally on that?”

“Yes!” Anger coiled with the deep sense of betrayal in my gut. I’d trusted him, had actually felt a real connection to him, as though we were far more than summoner and lord, or student and teacher. I’d likedthe feeling that we were friends, and most of all, I truly needed to be able to trust him. “I can’t go back for six months,” I told Idris. “I wasn’t happy about it, but I could deal with it, y’know? And then he said that after the six months I could go home as soon as I passed the goddamn shikvihr initiation. So I askedhim how long it took to pass, and he said—” I gritted my teeth. “—he said that some dude passed it in seven months, and the longest anyone’s ever taken to pass is eighteen.” I shoved a hand through my hair. “He didn’t care to mention the odds of never passing at all.” And I was too stupid to ask.

And the shitty part was that I knew why he did it. I knew perfectly well it wasn’t some nefarious scheme with darker purpose. He’d carefully employed that demonic lord deceit in order to keep me here—to protect me and make absolutely sure that I could never go back to Earth anything less than a goddamn superhero.

Didn’t matter the purpose. It still cut deeply. How could I trust him if I never knew when he might pull another stunt like that, whether to protect me or not? His words came back to me: Kara, I could no more keep you prisoner now than cage the lightning or bottle the surging sea.I snorted. Wasn’t that a lovely pile of bullshit?

I summoned the damn pygah and did some damn breathing to calm myself the hell down. Once I stopped feeling murderous, I gave Idris as nice a smile as I could muster. “Congrats on getting the seventh ring, Idris,” I said. “I have some things I need to do.” I didn’t really know what just yet, but I knew I needed to do something.

Heading back up to the palace, I pulled a trickle of grove power, not only to help me calm down but also to make it more difficult to read me. I had no doubt that Mzatal was aware of my pissed-offed-ness, but I didn’t want him hearing my thought processes while I tried to work this out. Better for the both of us that way.

Mzatal wasn’t in his rooms, for which I was beyond grateful. I took a quick bath and changed clothes, then carefully packed up as much of my stuff as I could carry. And how the hell had I acquired so many clothes? The zrila had gone nuts.

It took a few minutes, but I finally managed to convince a faas that I needed to relocate to different rooms—any that were prepared and ready, though preferably something as far away from Mzatal’s chambers as possible. That turned out to be on the north end of the palace in the eerily vacant section where humans once lived. Unfortunately, to be far away from Mzatal meant I was also far away from a view of the grove, though at least I could still feel it clearly. The room itself was comfortable enough with a spacious combined bedroom and living area. No door though. An open archway led straight to the corridor, but at least there was a curtain that could be drawn to screen the bed. By the time the evening bell rang, all of my things were in a pile beside the bed in my new room.

I curled up on the couch with my papers and books, tried to work through the concepts of the first three rings of the shikvihr. But my focus was crap, and calling up the pygah did nothing to ease the ache within. Eventually I gave up studying and tried to write a letter to Tessa, but after four tries I was ready to give up on that as well.

An ilius coiled by the open archway, and I remembered Idris’s comment about the demons being early warning systems for a pending Mzatal arrival. I quickly made certain that I was still holding enough grove power to keep him from reading me, and a few seconds later the sound of footsteps in the hall confirmed Mzatal’s approach.

He stopped just beyond the arch, but to my surprise didn’t enter. I didn’t look directly at him, but my peripheral vision worked overtime.

“Kara.”

I took a deep breath. “Lord Mzatal.”

He closed his eyes. A wave of reaction passed over his face before he could stop it, and I winced inwardly, realizing that by using his title, other than in show for others, I hurt him. That hadn’t been my intention, but the formality defined my boundaries and our roles, so I steeled myself to accept the consequences.

He remained silent longer than necessary to process a response, but finally opened his eyes. “Kara. Come. Walk with me.”

I really wasn’t ready to talk or hug it out or any shit like that. My own thoughts needed to be a lot clearer first. “Is that a command or request, my lord?”

He drew a deep breath and released it slowly before responding. “A request only.”

“Then I will respectfully decline, my lord,” I said, keeping my voice as even as I could. “I wouldn’t be good company.”

Tension tightened his shoulders. For an instant I thought he would enter, but he simply kept his hands clasped behind his back, though I had a feeling they were in fists. “Kara, reconsider your quarters,” he said. “It is too soon for you to be away.”

“Yes, you’ve made your stance on that quite clear,” I shot back, voice laden with bitterness.

“I speak of the immediate concerns,” he replied. “Though the other is what I came to discuss.”

I took a steadying breath. “I can’t talk to you now,” I said. “It would not end well.”

He remained silent for a moment, then gave a short nod. “Accepted.” He paused again before speaking. “Kara, reconsider your quarters,” he repeated, “if only for a few nights.”

“If I go back to your rooms now, my lord,” I said, calmly and quietly, “you might as well put the collar back on me.”

An expression of dismay flashed across his face, then melded into a neutral mask. “That is…” He trailed off, shook his head. “So be it. Rest well, Kara Gillian.”

My hand tightened on my pen as I gave him a nod. He remained just beyond the archway for a few seconds more before turning and heading back down the hall.

There was no point in trying to study or write letters, not with my focus this screwed up, and so much uncertainty and hurt churning through me. Eventually I gave up and went to bed, but it was a long time before I could fall asleep.

I jolted upright, anguished scream choking off before it could fully form. The nightmare coiled around me, refusing to fully disperse even though I was awake and aware.

“You are mine,” Rhyzkahl says with a snarl. “None other may touch you thus.” A drop of crimson slides down the keen edge of his blade. My blood. My pain. “You are mine.”

Throwing off the covers, I stumbled out of bed and then to the balcony. The cool night air washed over me as I stepped out, but my shivering had little to do with that. If Mzatal was here…I squeezed my eyes shut. No. Mzatal wasn’t here to ease the nightmare. And now I understood his words, his desire for me to “reconsider my quarters.” He’d kept the dreams at bay while I stayed with him, let me sleep in peace.

But I need to be able to stand on my own at some point, don’t I?I couldn’t expect him to be there every second of the day to ease my boo-boos or hug away my fears. And I had no desire to live my life so thoroughly protected. Rhyzkahl had made sweeping decisions about my “safety” as well, such as when he’d denied me the grove. This situation was nothing like that, I knew, for Rhyzkahl’s intentions had little to do with my personal safety and everything to do with his own goals. Yet, in a way, knowing Mzatal had the best of intentions—while deceiving me into an agreement that could trap me here forever—was the hardest part. At least I thoughthe had the best of intentions. But how could I really be sure?

I returned inside and went to the bath chamber. My thoughts tumbled over each other as I took a long soak. Dawn came, but when the faas arrived with food, I could barely choke down a few swallows of chak. I tried again to study, but at the morning bell gave up, gathered up all my papers, and headed to the workroom.

Sitting at a table against the back wall, I spread out my notes and sought calm, which proved tough to do when I felt haggard on innumerable levels. I gently pulled power from the grove, as much to mask my thoughts as to seek an elusive peace.