Текст книги "Touch of the Demon"

Автор книги: Diana Rowland

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 31 страниц)

Fear coiled in my gut to replace the cramp-from-hell, and I took several ragged breaths. I badly wanted to ask what the fuck was going on, but I knew he wouldn’t answer. Mzatal’s hand slid back up to the center of my chest. Once again warmth formed under my skin, followed by a sharp cramp, but this felt much worse than the first. A whimper slid from me despite my best intentions. I kept my hands clenched into fists, shaking as the cramp deepened.

“Hold the flows as they are without wavering,” Mzatal said to the summoner. I heard the snarl beneath his words and had zero doubt that the blond man paled a bit. I knew I would have.

He splayed his hand hard upon my chest. I opened my eyes to look up at him, nearly regretting it as I saw the dark expression on his face. He flicked his gaze toward Gestamar, said something in demon, lip curled. I heard the name “Rhyzkahl” as he increased the pressure on my chest, and I fought back panic.

“Idris, prepare,” he said, voice uncompromising and intense. He lifted his open hand to about six inches above my sternum.

Searing heat ripped through my chest. I screamed, arching my back as I pulled against the arcane bindings. Memory flared of another searing pain driving through my chest, and I screamed again as I fought to get free so I could scrabble at whatever had caused it and save myself.

And then pain and memory were both gone, leaving only echoes behind. I collapsed back, biting my lips against sobs. Tears trickled down the side of my face, and I tried to focus on how annoying it was that I couldn’t wipe them away. Anger was better than terror and, at the moment, it wasn’t that hard to be pissed off. Except for the part where I got to kiss Ryan, this had been a colossally shitty day from start to finish, and it wasn’t even over.

Mzatal’s eyes swept over me before they returned to mine. “Now your Lord is stripped of the means to retrieve you,” he said, voice dark with a deep vehemence. He slipped the collar back onto my neck before I had time to even flinch. An ache went through me as the arcane faded to a fraction of its fullness.

He stood smoothly, and with an efficient sweep of his arm erased all the patterns and released my bindings. I pulled my limbs in and struggled to sit up, clutching at my chest even though the pain was long gone. I hadn’t known that Rhyzkahl had a way to rescue me, but somehow, taking that hope away, even without my previous knowledge of it, cut even more cruelly. I wasn’t at all accustomed to feeling helpless and vulnerable, and I deeply despised it.

The lord stepped away from me, looked to Gestamar. “Take her.”

To my shock the demon simply scooped me up in his arms. I clung to him, weirdly relieved since I wasn’t sure I’d be able to walk. Beyond all the other stresses of this gloriously shitty day, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten, and my body was intent on reminding me of that fact. I leaned my head on Gestamar’s chest and allowed myself to wallow in misery for awhile, as he passed out of the chamber and down several corridors. He carried me through a musty common area with tables and sofa-like seating and into a small sparse room, maybe eight foot square, furnished with only a narrow bed and a side table with a mug on it. A single tiny window high on the far wall framed a patch of dusk-blue sky and a single winking star. Unlike the room just outside, this one was completely dust-free and the blanket was clean and freshly laid on the bed. A door to the right appeared to lead to a bathroom type of place.

The demon set me down, far more gently than I expected, and guided me to sit on the edge of the bed.

“What happens now?” I asked, too exhausted to hide the quaver in my voice.

He plucked the mug from the table and pressed it into my hands. “You drink,” he rumbled.

I didn’t know squat about antiques, but I was pretty sure the mug was the real thing. Silver, lined with gold, a vertical ribbed pattern around it and leaves etched on its gracefully curved handle. It sure looked like something from Earth. The murky brown contents weren’t nearly as appealing. I lifted the mug dubiously and took a careful sip. It reminded me of liquefied unsalted stew, but with a hint of bitterness that I couldn’t identify. My starving body probably wouldn’t have cared what it tasted like, but I had to appreciate that it didn’t completely suck. I finished the contents, then placed the mug back on the table, hand shaking only slightly. “And now?”

“You sleep,” the demon replied.

“And then what?” I asked, meeting his eyes. “What’s going to happen to me? Why am I here?”

He snorted. “Because Mzatal wants you here.”

I scowled at the non-answer, turned away from him, and curled up on the bed.

“You are not dead,” he said. “Consider that, Kara Gillian.” I heard him exit and close the door.

And I did. Every moment I continued to draw breath was a moment more to figure out how to get myself out of this shit. I listened carefully but heard no sound of a bolt or lock. I didn’t figure it could be that easy, but I had to try. I sat up, padded over to the door and laid my hands flat against it. A faint buzzing sensation cued me that it was likely warded, meaning arcanely locked. I pushed the handle down slowly so as not to make noise, then gave it a tug. It didn’t budge. Damn.

I poked around the room for anything of interest or of use, but found nothing pointy, sharp, or weaponizable. I looked up at the high window with its patch of darkening sky and a few stars. I shoved the bed under it, and lifted the table onto the bed, bracing it against the wall. Yep, that did it. I climbed up my makeshift scaffold and got to nose level with the sill, high enough to at least check it out.

I pressed my hand against the glass and found only the barest whisper of arcane. Since it had a latch begging to be tried, I lifted it and pulled. Holy shit!The window swung inward with a creak of hinges and a shower of dust. My heart pounded with the possibilities. Judging by what I could see from my position of barely peering over the sill—which was pretty much sky—I figured I was on at least the second story.

Okay, Jill, I’m going to use those muscles you’ve been trying to get me to build.Exercise and I didn’t get along, but somehow Jill—the crime scene technician who’d become my best friend—could get me going. Sometimes. I hauled myself up in a klutzy thrash and wiggle and managed to get a grip on the outside lip with my arms supported on the wide sill, and the rest of me dangling inside. Great. Now what?

I got an answer I didn’t want. The stars winked out to pitch black, and a pair of blood red eyes hovered a couple of feet in front of me. The faint scent of sulphur drifted in, and I had no doubt I was face to face with a zhurn, a tenth-level demon that was like shadow and night. Crapsticks.

“Greetings, honored one,” I said, voice strained as I struggled to maintain the awkward hold. “Nice night.” Obviously escape this way wasn’t happening tonight.

The zhurn’s voice crackled like flames on wet kindling. “No egress this way, summoner.”

“Yeah,” I said, easing back down to the tabletop. “I kinda get that.”

“Sleep,” it said, reaching with a shadowy extension to pull the window closed. The red eyes disappeared, but the stars didn’t come back. Damn zhurn had closed its eyes and camped over my window.

I climbed down and dragged the table off the bed. Weariness crashed in. It had been a long and particularly shitty day. Sleep wasn’t a bad idea. I needed rest to be sharp tomorrow and ready for whatever Lord Asstard had to throw at me. I curled up under the blanket and drifted off immediately, thoughts of Tessa, Jill, Zack…and Ryan, swirling.

“I’m coming back, guys, don’t worry,” I murmured. Even with all the uncertainty and misery, I knew I’d have no trouble getting to sleep. Thankfully, I was right.

Chapter 3

I had no idea how long I slept. The small window high in the wall let sunlight in along with a glimpse of rich blue sky but no other clue as to time of day. It had been twilight when I went to sleep, so apparently it was a full night plus some, give or take a million years. I sat up, absently rubbing my chest, then scowled as I realized I was doing so. The memory of the pain still haunted me.

The adjoining room was, indeed, a bathroom type place, and though the facilities weren’t the usual flush-toilet sort, it wasn’t difficult to figure out how it worked. A low table held a basin, a cloth, and a jug of water, though nothing as pedestrian as a toothbrush. Still, I washed my face and used a corner of the cloth to scrub the worst of the fuzz from my teeth. I even stripped and washed the parts of me that were stinky. Putting the damn black shift back on wasn’t high on my list of favorite things to do, though. What, prisoners of demonic lords weren’t allowed underwear?

As I finished and came back out to the bedchamber, the door opened. Gestamar stepped in, carrying two mugs.

“Drink this quickly,” he said, holding one out for me. “You have been summoned by Mzatal.”

“Can I have some different clothes?” I asked. “A hairbrush? Anything?”

His lip curled, exposing sharp fangs that gleamed white. Apparently hehad a toothbrush, or the demon equivalent. “No need for different garb,” he told me. “What you have is sufficient for now. And if you do not drink, you will go hungry. Your choice.”

Scowling, I took the mug and downed the contents. It wasn’t bad, but I definitely wanted solid food sometime soon. This was enough to keep me alive, and that was about it. Then again, my stomach was so queasy from nerves, solid food probably wouldn’t stay down for long.

I set the mug aside, and he passed the second one to me, simply saying chak, which I assumed to be the name of the beverage. The rich brown liquid steamed with a pleasantly fragrant nutty, earthy scent. I took a sip, then another. It wasn’t coffee, but it was hot and pretty damn tasty.

Gestamar pointed toward the door. I took that as my cue to move and, after one last gulp, reluctantly relinquished the mug and its precious contents. Sighing, I dug my fingers through my snarled hair as I exited.

Gestamar directed me to an antechamber, and inside was a set of double doors.

Two life-sized statues of demon-marble flanked the doors. On the left, a woman of mature but indeterminate years stood in tall grace. Though her face was serious, a smile played at the corners of her mouth. A single shoulder strap secured her masterfully carved close-fitting dress, revealing more than it covered. On the right, a young man in a RenFaire outfit stood with his arms folded casually across his chest and a mischievous smile lighting his face.

I peered at them, so exquisitely sculpted I almost swore they were breathing. “Who are they?” I glanced over at the reyza, then back to the statues.

“Nefhotep and Giovanni Racchelli,” he said. “Favorites of Szerain. Giovanni died young.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot and settled into a crouch. “Nefhotep lived here for over two hundred years.”

I blinked in surprise. “Humans?”

“Yes.” He adjusted his wings. “From the time long ago when the ways were open,” he said, lifting a claw toward the young man then toward the woman. “And fully open, very long ago.”

The weird déjà vu feeling crept through me again as I looked at the statue of Giovanni. I knew him, it tried to tell me. Even now I could picture his quick smile and infectious laugh, and for just the briefest instant it was as if the statue moved to turn his teasing grin upon me. My breath caught, my stomach fluttered, my heart pounded, and damn it all, my face heated in—a blush?What the hell?

I squeezed my eyes shut to dispel the illusion and turned away. The sensations lingered for another few heartbeats before fading.

“Szerain has always had the gift of capturing the very essence of his subjects,” the reyza said, peering at the statues.

“He carved these?” I asked in surprise. Gestamar nodded. Had I ever seen Ryan show any sort of artistic ability? I couldn’t think of a single instance, which sent a weird and sad pang through me.

My musing came to an abrupt end as Mzatal strode in, passing me without a glance. He still wore the Armani suit and white shirt, but had changed his tie to one of blood red, and the pattern of his braid seemed different. The double doors swung open before he even reached them, and he entered the room beyond without the slightest hitch in his stride.

Gestamar stood and gestured for me to go in. I did so, jaw tight, hating how grubby and foolish I felt in the damn shift.

With its vaulted ceiling and two huge unbroken windows on the far wall, the room felt spacious despite its small area—not much larger than my living room back home. I couldn’t tell what purpose the room had, though, since it was empty of furnishings. The only object remaining was what appeared to be a statue adjacent one of the windows, covered in a white cloth.

Mzatal stood facing the other window, hands behind his back. I stopped a few feet from him.

“So. Great,” I said, folding my arms over my chest, and doing my damnedest to marshal something resembling a strong attitude. “You have me. You’ve made sure that Rhyzkahl can’t get me back. I have a comfy cell, and crap food, and no toothbrush. Now what?”

Mzatal slowly turned to face me. His eyes met mine, and I suddenly realized that the absence of a toothbrush really wasn’t so bad after all, considering. My mouth went dry as he approached, and I had to steel myself against a shudder as he moved around and behind me. I felt his hands on my shoulders, and then a heartbeat later he lifted the collar from my neck. The arcane clarified and brightened. The room was well-shielded, though I didn’t really need to look at the patterns and sigils to know that. There was no way he’d take the collar off me in a room that wasn’t, and run the risk that Rhyzkahl could track me.

He remained behind me, unnervingly silent, though I could feel him there, his aura alone near overwhelming. Potency like a wave of nightmare engulfed me as he leaned in closer. “What now, you ask?” he breathed in a quietly menacing voice that sent terror streaking through me. “I decide if you live or die.” He paused. “I decide howyou live, or how you die.”

My breath caught in a low sob. I hated him more than anyone or anything at that moment. “Okay, I get it,” I managed, nursing what dull anger I could. “You hold full control. You have me scared shitless. You win. Happy now? Whatever this is all about, whether it’s me living or dying, fucking do it already.”

He continued the circle and stopped in front of me, a faint smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Before I could get pissed at his amusement at my expense, he lifted his hand and looped a softly glowing strand of potency around my throat, then turned, drawing me behind him like a dog on a leash as he approached the covered statue. I seethed, but was nevertheless grateful for the over-the-top display of dominance. I could do anger a lot better than terror.

He stopped a few feet from the statue and moved behind me once again, but this time he gripped my head between his hands, as if to make absolutely certain I couldn’t look away.

“Elinor.” He spoke the word like an invocation piercing my essence as he stripped the cloth from the statue without touching it. And there she was. Elinor. Youthful. Slight of build with a sweet face that radiated innocence. Sudden swirling dizziness put a stop to my observation.

I jerked, and only the lord’s grip on my head kept me from staggering as memories flooded in, memories that I absolutely knew weren’t my own. Yet as they poured over me and through me, they drove my own existence and identity before them. The room melted and reformed.

“Come, dear one,” Lord Rhyzkahl says, holding his hand out to me, broad expanse of cloudless sky beyond him framed by columns. My stomach flutters, and I feel the blush rise in my cheeks. I smile and take his hand. Anything for his gaze, his touch. Will he kiss me? Breathless.

The memory shifted dizzyingly.

I wring my hands, banished for the moment to the antechamber. Fear. Uncertainty. I hate it when they argue. I listen to the words though do not understand more than that Lord Rhyzkahl dominates this one and Lord Szerain counters. Do not faint. Do not faint. Do not faint.

Shift.

The ritual seethes around me, tearing at me. Pain blossoms in my chest. Please. Pleeeease. I don’t understand. I don’t understand!

Shift.

Giovanni places the small cakes one at a time before me, counting. His eyes twinkle, and I cannot concentrate on the numbers. He will surely think me a silly little thing if I cannot even learn to count to ten in Italian. Uno. Due. Tre. Quattro. He touches the back of my hand and smiles. I am undone!

Shift.

Cakes. Cakes.A statue. Birthday cake. Tessa grinning.

Pancakes. Lots of pancakes at Lake o’ Butter. Jill eating pancakes across the table. Dear One. Cinque. Sei. Sette. Jill. Jill. Otto. Nove. Dieci. Ryan laughing next to me, and Zack rolling his eyes.

Through the maelstrom of memories I became distantly aware of my own whimpering and an increasing grip on my head. My breath hissed through my teeth, and I struggled to focus on the statue as just that—a statue. These weren’t my memories. The dreams, the déjà vu, all this…This wasn’t from me. I was notElinor.

My hands clenched and unclenched as I called up and galvanized my own memories: My mother and father, growing up with Tessa, learning to summon, graduating from the police academy, my first pursuit on foot, the first time I had sex, crawfish and beer, becoming a detective, the pride of putting bad guys in jail, the first time I got punched by a suspect and how I put him in handcuffs, becoming friends with Jill, giggling over reality TV, Christmases and birthdays, Ryan’s quick smile and Zack’s laugh, Eilahn and Fuzzykins…

My breath slowed as the chaos of intruder memories subsided. I felt the lord behind me, hands still on my head, and I knew in that instant that not only was he deeply reading my thoughts, but also that he was poised to snap my neck depending on his assessment of me.

“Please don’t kill me,” I said, voice calm and quiet.

His grip eased ever so slightly, though he didn’t release me. “Why?”

I didn’t hesitate with my reply. “Because I matter.”

He held the grip for another three heartbeats, then withdrew his hands and dissipated the strand of potency from around my throat. He replaced the collar, then stepped fully away from me and returned to his former position by the window, looking out, hands behind his back. I closed my eyes for a few seconds as I processed the undeniable fact that I’d been a hair’s breadth from death. I knew without a doubt that if I’d been unable to fight my way out of that storm of memories I’d be a twitching corpse on the floor at this moment.

But why?

I wasn’t out of the woods yet, but I fully intended to take a bit of ease in this tiny victory. I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Who was she? This Elinor chick.”

He surprised me by actually answering the question. “A summoner of adequate aptitude from your seventeenth century, trained by me for a short time, then fostered by Szerain and Rhyzkahl.”

“If she was merely adequate,” I asked, frowning, “then how the hell did she damn near destroy this world?”

“That, Kara Gillian, remains clouded.” He turned back to me, shaking his head. “Something of her nature, of her essence, escalated the ritual beyond recovery, and Szerain remains mute.” His eyes narrowed with a touch of what looked like disapproval. “I know it was not within her skills as a summoner to call such power.”

I put what few pieces I had together. “I’m not this Elinor, so what’s the deal?” I knew I wasn’t some sort of reincarnation of her, but I also assumed she and I had a connection. I just didn’t know what it was.

“No, upon assessment it is clear that you are not a direct essence transfer,” he said, echoing my own thoughts. “Your innate energy signature mirrors hers, but is fully yours.” He narrowed his eyes. “But there is another piece of your essence, one that has the feel of an afterthought. This is the part that holds and generates the memories of Elinor and houses a fragment of who she is. Its encapsulation is unconventional, yet it is somehow integral to you.”

I blinked and tried to make sense of that but gave up. “I have no idea what you just said.”

He leaned toward me a smidge, not seeming at all annoyed by my cluelessness. “An energy signature is much like a fingerprint, though not utterly unique. Close matches are possible. Though, without extraordinary means, the chances of locating a specific signature are infinitesimal given the sheer number of possibilities. I can only speculate at this point. It is as though this fragment of Elinor attached to you, became a part of you, because of the energy signature match. Why or how,” he said with a shake of his head, “I do not yet know.”

The fact that he took the time to explain it obviously meant something. Too bad I had no idea what.

“Like donating a kidney,” I said, folding my arms over my chest.

Mzatal lifted an eyebrow, head tilting a bit. “Perhaps, though with a deeper influence.”

Pieces fell into place. “Ah, and that’s why I’m so popular—because I have Elinor’s magic kidney.”

Mzatal’s face shifted from the hint of curiosity to the impassive mask. This dude had zero sense of humor. “Yes, it is,” he said. “Some seek through speculation, and some through smatterings of knowledge.” His eyes were hard upon me. “You are a dangerous unknown, Kara Gillian.”

I lifted my chin, mouth tight. “And dangerous things are either used, destroyed, or—” I thought of my bare feet and black shift and obvious prisoner status. “—contained.”

“Unless the unknown becomes known,” he said. “Then the possibilities shift.”

And how the hell was I supposed to make the unknown known in a way that would keep me alive and whole? I sighed inwardly. Right now I wanted coffee and real food, in that order. Might as well wish for a personal visit from Santa Claus while you’re at it,I chided myself.

He approached me, intense and coiled and calm as he reached and gripped my chin in his hand. His eyes were like ancient pale grey flint shot with silver. A palpable potency radiated from him that sent goosebumps skimming over me. “What is your heart’s desire?” he asked, as if my life depended on my answer.

And it most likely did. I returned his gaze as steadily as I could. “To reach my full potential.”

He held my chin for several long heartbeats before releasing it, only to seize my left wrist and pull my arm forward. I clenched my teeth as he dropped his eyes to Rhyzkahl’s mark and laid a hand over it. He went utterly still for a moment, then drew a deep breath and brought his gaze up to mine.

When the lord spoke it was as if he forced the words out through gritted teeth, though his face betrayed no tension. “This markdoes nothing to further that desire. Nor does it serve my purposes for you to bear it.” Mzatal released my wrist and clasped his hands behind his back. “I will remove Rhyzkahl’s stigma and determine what possibilities unfold,” he said with icy conviction.

I shook my head in denial at the thought of having the mark removed, an unnamed dread stilling my breath. “Use, destroy, or contain?”

The lord lowered his head. “Your parameters. Use is preferable. Destruction, if use is impractical or impossible. I choose not to maintain a prisoner,” he said with a smile that held no comfort.

My throat tightened, and my mouth felt full of sand. As he’d promised, he made the decisions on how I was to live or how I was to die. “And what sort of use would you make of me?”

Mzatal looked upon me as though seeking to determine some unknown. “The destruction aspect is far simpler. Slay and then disperse the essence.” He paused. “Use depends upon what remains of you when I remove the stigma,” he said, eyes dropping to the mark.

I fought to control the cold panic that thrashed within me. “‘What remains’? What the fuck does that mean?”

The skin around his eyes tightened. “Hostile removal of a mark is extremely rare and the process extreme. Madness is a possibility. Removal of this construct of Rhyzkahl’s risks essence sheer,” he said, with a shake of his head and a touch of a frown. “Nothing of use to either of us would remain.”

I stared agape then recovered enough to speak. “Are you fucking kidding me? Then why…?” I shook my head in disbelief that anything could be this convoluted. “You’re going to try it anyway, aren’t you? You don’t give a fuck if I end up broken. It accomplishes the same thing. My destruction. Youhave nothing to lose by trying.”

“No, I do not,” he said as though my destruction meant nothing. “And much potential to gain. As do you. The risk is worth the consequences to both.”

I snorted a laugh at the absurdity. “Oh, sure. A little madness or fucked-up essence is a walk in the park for me and totally worth it for some magic tattoo removal.” Sweat trickled down my sides beneath the damn shift.

“Your ignorance in the matter does not change the potentials or the values.” He shifted his attention to Gestamar and spoke in demon. I caught the summoner’s name twice—Idris—but couldn’t get any other sense of what was said. Gestamar grunted and bounded out.

Mzatal drew a deep breath and released it slowly. “Kara Gillian,” he said in a potent melodic tone that drove straight through to my core. “You are a dangerous unknown. I prefer you to become a dangerous known with possibilities other than death.” He paused and regarded me with keen intensity. “But if deep assessment reveals full essence-binding by Rhyzkahl, then I will have no option but to slay you.”

I dragged my hand across my forehead. “Whew! And I thought today wasn’t going to be shittier than yesterday!”

“It is in truth a most fortunate day for you,” he said as he raked a gaze over me. “Wait here,” he ordered, then turned and exited, closing the doors with a flick of his fingers.

Silence descended, broken only by my unsteady breathing. Dispersal, essence sheer, madness. Right now the available options were all pretty fucking heinous. Even if I survived the removal fairly whole, I’d be nothing more than a slave. He’d stated quite clearly his desire to use me.

My fear settled into a weird acceptance. There was one other possible out. Mzatal had told me there was less chance of making it through the void a second time. Less chance. Not “no chance.” And why would he need to disperse my essence after slaying me if there truly was no chance? In other words, the available options are “shitty” and “shittier.”

I heard two demons conversing outside the door, and cold slammed through me again. Gestamar back from having Idris prepare some new, horrific ritual? No way was I just going to stand here twiddling my thumbs.

Oddly calm, my gaze swept the room, even though I knew damn well there was no convenient knife or noose. Only the damn statue, and broad thick windows covered in wards. I moved to the window near the statue and put my hand toward it. A tingle of pain shot through it, along with a surge of queasiness. But I’ve gone through wards before, I reminded myself grimly. I’m wearing the collar. It’ll suck, but dying for good or having my essence ripped apart will suck worse.What choice did I have?

None.

I couldn’t let myself think about it anymore. If I did I might lose my nerve and would probably never have another chance to take the plunge. Literally. My heart beat triple time, as if counting off my remaining seconds.

I set my shoulder against Elinor’s hip, dug my bare feet into the floor and pushed. She was a heavy bitch, but no match for my desperation. With a creak of stone, the statue slowly tipped, then toppled into the broad window with a satisfying crash, creating a sufficiently large hole.

Her head and shoulders protruded from the window into the open air. I clambered onto the statue, hissing as the first wards stung like a thousand bees. I pushed against them, feeling as if I was slogging through goo. A headache spiked as I forced my way forward. Only about a foot more and I could fall. Holy shit, it would suck, but staying here would suck worse. I dimly heard a bellow and the crash of the door being thrown open. Pain and nausea spiraled higher, and I gasped raggedly. I was on her shoulders now. Another inch and—

A different pain speared through my head as a clawed hand tangled in my hair. I let out a cry of pain and scrabbled to grab at the statue’s head. So damn close! Gestamar bellowed, pulling at me with a hard grip in my hair and on my thigh. Desperate, I tried to slash my forearm across a shard of glass. Oddly it didn’t break the skin any more than a piece of wood might, but the movement caused me to lose my grip on Elinor’s head. Pain from the wards seared through me again as the growling demon dragged me bodily back into the room and away from the window.

My knees buckled as the throbbing headache tripled in intensity, but Gestamar shifted his grip to my upper arms and kept me from completely collapsing. Maybe my head would explode and take care of the whole thing. That’d be convenient. Nausea rose, and I tasted bile. I’d almost made it through the wards. Another few seconds…

Mzatal entered and stopped before me. I dragged my gaze up to him, but the headache pounded so fiercely there seemed to be three of him. All three Mzatals lowered their heads and regarded me while Gestamar held me firmly before him. “Loss to wandering is a near certainty for death and a second passage through the void,” Mzatal told me, mouth pursing in a frown. “A poor choice. A poor option.”

Wandering. Like Tessa, I realized numbly. Not dispersed but lost in the void. Just as bad. Perhaps even worse.

I opened my mouth to tell him that he hadn’t presented any better options, but the nausea rose instead, and I spewed what little was in my gut onto the floor between us. Mzatal took a smooth half-step back to avoid the splatter, more of which ended up on me than him.