Текст книги "No Police Like Holmes: Introducing Sebastian McCabe"

Автор книги: Dan Andriacco

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Chapter Ten – Sleuths on the Case

On my way out the front door of the Bennish library I almost collided with the tall figure of Dr. Noah Queensbury, who was rushing in. He excused himself profusely.

“I don’t know why you’re in such a hurry,” I said. “You’re already ahead of everybody else.”

“My plan precisely. I intend to beat the others at asking a few salient questions.”

He struck a Sherlockian pose, which was not too difficult considering that he was wearing a deerstalker cap.

“Others?” I repeated weakly. I was getting a grim premonition.

“Of course! Surely I am not the only one planning to apply the techniques of the Master to this case.”

I had a sudden vision of seventy-five, eighty Sherlockians trampling across the quadrangle, peering into office windows, sneaking through the physical plant...

“Wait a minute,” I said. “Don’t get carried away. This is police business. If you muck things up by sticking your nose in, you could get yourself into some real trouble.”

“The Scotland Yarders are imbeciles.”

This guy just didn’t know when to stop playing the Game. He was even worse than Mac.

“The press account of this crime mentioned the curator of rare books, one Gene Pfannenstiel,” Queensbury continued, mispronouncing the last syllable as style instead of steel.“How long has he been in this position?”

“About a month. He came highly recommended from Bowling Green State University. What the hell is that question supposed to mean?”

“Perhaps nothing at all. I am merely collecting data. ‘Data! Data! Data! I can’t make bricks without clay.’ – ‘The Adventure of the Copper Beaches.’ I should very much like to talk to this gentleman.”

“You can talk to him all you want,” I said, “but not about the crime. I’m the only source of information on that, and I can’t tell you any more than you already read in the morning paper. Sorry.”

“I am not quite so easily thrown off the scent, I assure you,” Queensbury sniffed.

“Just remember what I said, Doc: Police business.”

It was a parting shot. I took off across campus, eager to drop in on Decker and schmooze with him a little on his turf, maybe exchange some information.

Campus Security is located on the lower level of the Physical Plant. Cops and janitors, we keep ’em together. The cop shop is underground at the front, but opens to grade at the rear. Decker’s office enjoys an entire wall of glass facing a greenbelt that should stay green for at least another three years until it gets paved over for parking. Decker was in.

“Don’t you know it’s a Saturday?” I joshed.

“What the hell,” he said, “you think I work full professors’ hours – two classes a week and all summer off?”

He had a printed form in one ham-like hand and a pen in another. Paperwork always makes him grumpy.

Without waiting for an invitation, I sat myself in a stuffed chair in front of Decker’s Formica-topped desk. The desk is a huge thing, not elegant but practical. The framed photo on top pictured Decker’s wife and four kids. The girl, Cindy, is a student at St. Benignus. There wasn’t anything else on the desk except a LIEUTENANT J. EDGAR DECKER nameplate, a telephone, a laptop computer, a fancy pen holder, and a piggy bank made out of a coffee can by Decker’s third-grader.

“How’s Cindy doing, Ed?” I asked.

“Mostly B’s.”

“Good.”

“Not good enough. She’s smart, should be getting straight A’s. You didn’t come here to talk about my daughter’s academic career, Cody.”

“Well, I did hope we could discuss this Chalmers Collection case. It’s kind of politically sensitive for me because of Ralph and the corporate sponsors and the bad press, if you see what I mean.”

Decker grunted. He didn’t want to hear about campus politics.

“So,” I continued, “I was hoping you could tell me a little more than you did on the phone.”

He exhaled a bushel of air. “Means of entry still unknown. Somebody got in and out of that room with the goods clean as a whistle. It’s weird, man.”

“Anything else taken?”

He shook his head. “No. Pfannenstiel ran the inventory for us last night and this morning. Spent hours on it.”

“How about fingerprints?”

“Pretty useless. We picked up partials from Chalmers and his wife and Pfannenstiel, of course, and a lot of unknowns. But hundreds of people must use that room every week.”

“So what’s your best hope?”

“Off the record?”

“Sure.”

“Beats me. A lot of crooks get nabbed when they try to fence the goods, but this time...” He shook his head again. I knew what he was thinking: No ordinary fence was going to handle this kind of merchandise.

“Can’t you do something visible,” I said, “just so Ralph and his friends in the business community know that something’s being done?”

“Investigations aren’t supposed to be visible, Cody. But how about this: I can send my team in to interview everybody at this...”

I scotched that idea before it was even out of his mouth. “No, thanks, Ed. There are a couple of people you might want to keep an eye on, though.” I explained about Hugh Matheson’s antagonism toward Woollcott Chalmers, apparently exceeded only by Graham Bentley Post’s lust for the Chalmers Collection.

“Sounds pretty thin for me to do anything,” Decker said.

“I know,” I admitted gloomily. “Well, I’ll be seeing these people around. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything more solid.”

“Yeah, you do that.”

Chapter Eleven – Power Lunching

So there I was, practically commissioned by Lieutenant Ed Decker himself to investigate this crime as well as challenged into it by Mac. And what had my brilliant brother-in-law been up to in the meantime?

Lunch.

At least, I assumed so. According to the agenda for the colloquium, chowing down had been underway for half an hour.

I did a quick-step to Muckerheide Center, to the President’s Dining Room on the same floor as the Hearth Room. The luncheon crowd already had thinned out considerably from what it must have been, though, and Mac’s corpulent form was nowhere in view. Off sleuthing somewhere? Doubtful. I did see Bob Nakamora heavy into conversation with a student I recognized as one of Mac’s protégés, poor kid. And nearby, the woman with gray-blond hair that I recalled from last night’s party sat alone, picking at a salad. Several tables away Lynda Teal was not alone. Seated obscenely close to Hugh Matheson, she seemed to hang on the lawyer’s every word, a level of attention I myself had once commanded. Apparently she wanted to be his friend, too.

I went through the salad bar, picking up cottage cheese, tomatoes, onions, and peppers, while eschewing the greasy slices of pepperoni even though I love the stuff. For dessert I grabbed a banana. When I had piled my tray high with nutritious food – and made a mental note to tell Lynda about that article I read saying neurotic people live longer – I maneuvered through the sparsely populated dining room as if searching for a seat in a crowded bar. Finally I stopped at the woman sitting by herself.

“Excuse me,” I said. “Mind if I sit here?”

“Not at all. I’ve been deserted.”

Her name tag identified her as Molly Crocker from Cincinnati. Well, the Cincinnati contingent was a big one. She was in her early forties, I estimated, and took no pains to appease the Cult of Youth and Beauty. The gray streaks in her ash blond hair were untouched by dye. The hair itself had been cut in an unflattering page boy she might have done herself with a pair of scissors and no mirror. But she had a good face, handsome if not pretty. And the eyes behind her magenta glasses were lively. She was clothed in a simple print dress that bulged slightly at the tummy. Too many cookies and late night snacks or was she expecting an addition to her family? This time I remembered to check for a wedding ring – and saw one.

“Having fun?” she asked.

“Fun doesn’t begin to describe it,” I assured her. “I’m Jeff Cody, Sebastian McCabe’s brother-in-law.”

“Molly Crocker. I saw you at Mac’s party, but we didn’t formally meet.”

“Right. Since you’re from Cincinnati, what can you tell me about that dude?” I pointed discreetly at Hugh Matheson.

“Hugh? Enormously successful in his field, but you must know that. Just last week he won a damage award for six and a half million dollars based on a woman’s loss of pleasure as a result of unnecessary radiation treatments to her uterus. The total award against the doctor and the radiologist, lawyer’s fees included, was eight million three hundred thousand, of which Hugh took a third.”

I stopped peeling my banana, impressed. “You’re really up on that stuff.”

She chuckled. “I ought to be.”

“Opposing counsel?” I guessed.

“I was the judge in the case.”

I dropped the banana. “Obviously you know a lot more about Matheson than what you read in People magazine.”

Judge Crocker pushed away her salad, half eaten. “That’s a valid deduction. What’s your interest, Jeff?”

My main interest was in showing up Mac in the sleuthing department, with getting Ralph off my back a close second. But total candor was not called for in this situation.

“I’m fascinated with the collector mentality,” I replied. “Chalmers spent – what, forty years? – building his collection, then today I heard that Matheson is a Holmes collector as well.”

She nodded. “You’ve hit on a good phrase there. I know both of those men and they do share a certain ‘collector mentality.’ It isn’t restricted to Sherlock Holmes, either, especially not with Hugh.”

“What do you mean?” I looked across the room at Matheson and Lynda. He gestured with his hands, the classic motion signaling a slit throat. Lynda laughed.

“I mean,” Judge Crocker said, “that he also collects women.”

* * *

I took my cup of decaffeinated coffee and plunked myself down next to Lynda.

“Jeff!” said she, so startled she almost knocked her camera off the table.

“Sorry to intrude,” I lied.

“Then why did you?” Lynda said. I noticed she was chewing gum, apparently a new vice acquired in the past month.

“Because I wanted to meet Mr. Matheson. Won’t you introduce us?”

In a rather graceless fashion (“Jeff does PR for the local college”), she complied.

“What’s your theory about the Great Sherlock Holmes Theft?” I asked.

Matheson raised his tailored eyebrows. “Do I have to have a theory?”

“Maybe not,” I said, “but everybody else seems to.” Actually, I hadn’t talked to everybody else, but that’s what came out of my mouth.

“As a matter of fact, Lynda and I were just talking about that.” I bet you were, pal. “The obvious guess is that some collector did it or, more likely, paid to have it done. You hear about things like that with art masterpieces. Maybe what was stolen isn’t worth as much as a minor Dali, but it would be priceless to a Sherlockian collector. Woollcott managed to assemble about a hundred pages of The Hound of the Baskervilles in Conan Doyle’s own hand – more than anyone else has ever owned since the manuscript was broken up. The other Hound that was stolen, the first edition, was inscribed by Conan Doyle to his friend Fletcher Robinson, who inspired the story. And the Beeton’s Christmas Annual of 1887, with the first Sherlock Holmes story, is one of only about a dozen known to exist. That alone would make it worth thousands, but this one was the presentation copy inscribed to the author’s mother. That sends its value off the charts.”

“You sound like you know those books almost as well as Chalmers does,” I said.

“That’s because Woollcott outbid me on the Beeton’s nine years ago, screwed me out of the Fletcher Robinson Hound, and beat me to the punch more times than I have fingers and toes while he was scooping up all those manuscript pages.”

“That nice old man?” Lynda said.

Matheson snorted. “He’s done me the dirty more than a few times over the years, and every time that nice old man went further than I ever thought a person would go just to beat me out.”

He rattled off a few examples – Chalmers bribing a taxi driver to get Matheson lost on the way to an important auction, Chalmers arriving at the home of a famous but impoverished Sherlockian just a few hours after his death to make the grieving widow a seemingly generous offer for his entire collection, Chalmers canceling Matheson’s wake-up call at his hotel in Sussex, England, on the morning of an estate sale featuring some Conan Doyle letters.

It was a fascinating insight into the questionable methods of my college’s benefactor, if true, but that wasn’t getting the stolen goods back.

“Do you know a man named Graham Bentley Post?” I asked Matheson.

“I’ve certainly heard of him,” Matheson said. He explained to Lynda about the Library of Popular Culture. “Post has a reputation for being a tiger once he goes after something.”

“He’s after the Chalmers Collection,” I said.

“Really? But that would be for public exhibit. Stolen books wouldn’t do him any good. You want to look for a private collector.”

“Makes sense,” I conceded, looking at the collector. “Who do you know who would be that devious and determined?”

“Only one person,” Matheson said. “Woollcott Chalmers.”

“Isn’t there anybody else you can think of?” Lynda said. “Maybe somebody who resented Chalmers’s hardball tactics?”

“If you put it that say,” Matheson said with a smile, “I suppose I’d make a pretty good suspect myself.”

I couldn’t argue with that.

Chapter Twelve – Talking in the Library

The rare book room of the Lee J. Bennish Memorial Library looked smaller with Sebastian McCabe on the loose in there.

He dominated the place, not so much by his physical bulk – although Mac has a triple helping of that – but by the force of his energy as he moved from person to person. My brother-in-law was in his element, as buoyant as I’d ever seen him.

Finally I managed to pull him to one side.

“This morning I worked with a TV crew, almost got plowed into by Dr. Queensbury, visited Decker, talked with Judge Crocker and Matheson, and came up with a couple of good candidates for our thief,” I said. “How’s your day going?”

“I,” declared Mac, “have been thinking.”

“Now there’s a stunning announcement.”

“The unknown means of entry continues to interest me greatly. And I find it instructive that only a few books were taken – a handful.”

“What do you think it means?”

“I am not ready to say.”

“The creator of the great Damon Devlin can’t do any better than that?” I jeered. “I thought you’d know whodunit by now.”

Mac stroked his beard. “I could enumerate suspects aplenty, if that is what you crave. My friend Woollcott, for example, could have stolen those books out of simple avarice, though one is hard pressed to explain why he would not have simply held back the books from his donation. I don’t believe he is in that dire a need of a tax deduction.”

“Scratch him,” I agreed.

“We must turn then to other collectors, for surely it was someone of bibliographic sophistication who did this deed. The name of Hugh Matheson springs instantly to mind.” He nodded toward the attorney, who was talking with Renata while Lynda took their picture. “Not for greed so much as for revenge. Even wealthy and famous individuals such as he have been known to avenge repeated slights or insults.”

“Well, Matheson has suffered plenty of those, according to his own account.”

Mac nodded. “If cupidity is the motive, however, the director of the Library of Popular Culture warrants a hard look.”

“Graham Bentley Post?” I said.

The surprise was mutual.

“You know about him, then?” Mac said. “I do not suggest it is likely that he himself is involved. However, it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that some less scrupulous person, hearing of his late-blooming interest in Sherlockiana, looted the Chalmers Collection with the hope of peddling the materials to the Library of Popular Culture. Might I suggest an interview-”

“I’m already on it. Gene gave me Post’s cell phone number and his hotel. No answer yet, but I’ll get him eventually. I’ll interview this dude, like any good PI would, while you’re sitting on your fat rump listening to people talk about Sherlock Holmes. And I’ll do it for myself, not for you.”

Mac shrugged his mountainous shoulders. “Not for me the rushing to and fro of the peripatetic private investigator, Jefferson. I intend to unravel this puzzle without incurring physical exhaustion. Besides, I have other responsibilities today, one of which is to get this presentation moving now that the reprehensible Ralph has arrived.”

The provost stood just inside the entrance to the rare books room, making a painful attempt to look at ease. It didn’t work. There were too many sharp angles about the man, from the creases in the pants of his pinstriped suit to his nose. His slicked-back hair was shiny under the fluorescent lights.

Mac glad-handed him. “Thank you for being here to accept this important gift, Dr. Pendergast.”

Ralph managed a tight smile. “Let’s just get this over with, McCabe,” he said, sotto voce.

With Ralph in tow, Mac moved to the center of the room, stealing Woollcott Chalmers away from his wife along the way. He cleared his throat, a sound not unlike the rumble of a subway train. Silence descended on cue. Without benefit of a podium, notes or microphone, my brother-in-law delivered an introduction that was part biography, part eulogy. He made it clear that Chalmers was one swell Sherlockian.

Chalmers seemed to draw strength from the applause that greeted him, as if he were feeding on it.

“Sherlock Holmes, though a natural-born actor, was not a man given to public speaking,” the old man observed in a firm, loud voice, “and I always try to emulate the Master. Consequently, you can be sure this will be brief.”

And it was – just three pages in the little notebook where I was recording events for an article in the alumni magazine. Having already exceeded his Biblically allotted three score and ten years, Chalmers said, it was only natural that he began to think about what would ultimately happen to the Woollcott Chalmers Collection when he had gone to that great Baker Street in the sky. At the urging of Professor Sebastian McCabe, he had decided to donate the collection before his death to a fine institution where he could spend his final years helping to catalogue it. He knew, he said, that the collection would be in good hands. Somehow he managed to deliver that last line with a straight face, which was not only remarkable but gracious considering what had happened last night.

Ralph was equally gracious, for him.

“St. Benignus College is honored indeed to be the new home of the Woollcott Chalmers Collection,” he declaimed. “This makes us number one in the Midwest as a research resource for, uh, Sherlockiana. And let me add that we are fortunate indeed to have generous outside funding, primarily from the Altiora Corporation and from the Burger Castle Company, to maintain the Collection.”

He really said that, and I can prove it: I got it all on video with my iPhone, figuring I could post it later on the St. Benignus website.

Ralph then called on two dyspeptic corporate types in the crowd to take a bow for spending the shareholders’ money so wisely.

Lynda stepped forward, crouched, and snapped what I figured would be a satisfying shot of Ralph, Chalmers and the corporate sponsors shaking hands all around. Ralph would love it.

That concluded the ceremony. The crowd broke up into little groups knotted around various exhibits as at a cocktail party. Matheson chatted with Gene Pfannenstiel, Judge Crocker and Dr. Queensbury huddled around the wax bust of Sherlock Holmes, and my sister and Renata listened to Al Kane hold forth.

A few people even looked at books. One of these was an older man, about six-three in height if he would stand up straight, with thick whitish-blond hair falling over one eye. Maybe I noticed him at first because he was by himself, even seeming aloof as he walked among the display cases with his hands behind his back. Or maybe it was the way he repeatedly mumbled exclamations as some title caught his attention. For whatever reason, I was already eyeing him with suspicion when he reached over as if maybe he were going to try to open the display case.

“I know what you’re up to, T.J.”

I whirled around and grunted at my sister, “Not exactly a secret. My job description says public relations. This is the public and I’m relating.”

When I looked back the bent-over bookman was moving on to the next display.

“You know what I mean,” Kate said, stepping around to get in front of me. “You’re playing detective.”

“Who isn’t?” I grumped. “Mac insists he’s going to solve this caper using his great brain, even if he doesn’t leave the colloquium for the next two days. Dr. Queensbury is running around in his deerstalker cap trying to ask revealing questions. Even Al Kane has a theory. It’s like they’ve all been infected by the Sherlock Holmes virus.”

Kate absent-mindedly fingered her copper tresses. “Apparently you weren’t immune from the awful contagion yourself.”

“This is no game to me, Sis. There’s an issue of job security, for one thing. If I can retrieve those stolen books or goose Decker into doing it, there should be enough positive media coverage in that to make even Ralph happy for a while.”

The older gentleman with the hands-on approach to the Holmes display was next to Mac now, still stooped as though he were permanently bent from years of reading book titles on the lower shelves. Mac simultaneously slapped him on the arm and stole the watch off his wrist, magician-style. My brother-in-law thinks that that kind of thing is funny. What a card. Apparently the guy was a friend of Mac’s. At least I hoped he was, although I hadn’t noticed him at the party last night or earlier in the Hearth Room.

“I’m sure Ralph is being his usual irksome self,” Kate said, “but I wonder if that’s the only reason you’re on this sleuthing kick?”

Thirteen lousy months – that’s all that separates my sister and me in age. But she insists on being Big Sister, which includes the right to psychoanalyze me like she’s Sigmunda Freud or Carla Jung or some other shrink. I wish she would stick to illustrating children’s books.

“What other reasons could there possibly be?” I said, foolishly holding the door wide open for her.

“Why, to compensate for your unsuccessful attempts at mystery writing, of course – especially if you can out-sleuth Sebastian in the process. We both know it drives you crazy that his amateur detective books keep selling while your private eye novels can’t find a publisher. You should try self-publishing on Kindle, by the way.”

Thanks for the advice, sis. The implication of pettiness on my part stung. That was unworthy of Kate.

“You think this is some kind of ego contest between Mac and me? That’s a laugh.” I forced a laugh. “Besides, there isn’t going to be any contest. I’m going to beat his oversized posterior.”

I turned away from my sister, looking around the room for that suspicious character I’d last seen with Mac. Instead I spotted Lynda with Ralph, a truly strange duo. He was pontificating and she was getting it down in a notebook, her pen flying across the pages.

“You still look at her the same way, you know,” Kate said.

“Lynda? You’re imagining things. I’m just happy she asked Ralph a few questions. I’ll be even happier if his deathless quotes are part of her story in tomorrow’s paper.”

“Don’t try to tell me that lovesick expression on your face has anything to do with business. I’m an artist, remember? I’ve been trained to observe what I see.”

“Oh, for... Quit trying to get into my head, will you? There’s barely enough room in there for me, let alone the rest of my family.”

“And it isn’t just the way you look at Lynda, either,” Kate persisted. “I’ve seen the hairy eyeball you’ve been giving Hugh Matheson every time he gets close to her. If looks could kill...”

“Sure, I’ve been watching him,” I acknowledged. “Matheson happens to be a choice suspect in this little caper, that’s all.”

Kate just looked at me. That woman could stare down Svengali.

“Okay, okay,” I said. “How am I supposed to feel when I see a woman I used to be pretty close to chumming it up with a guy like that? I’ve read all those stories about Matheson’s three ex-wives and too many bimbos to count. He may be rich and famous and handsome, but I don’t think he’d be any good for her.”

“There you go again, T.J., deciding what’s good for Lynda. You know she-”

“I know she’s through with me for good. Oh, except that she wants to be friends. Don’t forget that part.” Did I sound bitter?

I moved to leave on that exit line, but Kate tugged on my shoulder. “She still looks at you the same way, too, T.J. And not like a friend.”

Session Two

2:00

“Nick Carter, Alias Sherlock Holmes” – Professor Malcolm Whippet, Licking Falls State College

2:30

“Sherlock Holmes in Scandinavia” – Lars Jenson, Lund, Sweden

3:00

“Holmes and Drugs: Was Sherlock’s Coke the Real Thing?” – Dr. Noah Queensbury, BSI, Cincinnati

3:30

Interval: Field Bazaar

4:00

“Disguise in the Canon” – Barry Landers, St. Benignus College

4:30

“And Ladies of the Canon” – Kathleen Cody McCabe, Erin, Ohio