Текст книги "Back To Back"

Автор книги: Chelsea M. Cameron

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Two

Sylas steps away from me as if I’m on fire and then his focus is totally on Lizzy. The love that shines out of him for her is palpable. And she returns it tenfold.

“This house is awesome. It’s so big!” she says to him, skipping over, totally oblivious to the tension she’s just walked into. It’s good she came in when she did, or else things might have started getting blurry with Sylas again. I have no idea where Dad went, but I should probably find him.

Lizzy holds up her wrist for Sylas to see and she’s got another charm on her bracelet. An M for Marina, her mother’s name.

“Look what the man gave me!” Sylas’ eyes narrow and then flick to my wrist, where I have a nearly identical bracelet, but with an S on it. I don’t have a charm for my mother.

Dad hasn’t really explained to Lizzy yet how and why he’s her father. I’m sure that conversation will happen, but not until the dust settles. Who knows if it ever will?

“So pretty,” he says, touching the charms. He’s calmer around her. His anger has dissipated, as if someone threw a bucket of ice water over his head. And his eyes light up when he looks at her. It’s beautiful.

“I think we still have a few more things to discuss,” Dad says, casually walking back into the room.

“Can you make it quick? There’s somewhere I have to be,” Sylas says. I know exactly what he’s going to do if we let him go now.

“You mean California?” Dad says. There’s a reason we got him today, because if we waited, he would have been gone and retrieving him would be a little more difficult.

Sylas’ eyes narrow as Dad continues.

“Yes, we’re going to have to talk about that as well. You should probably get in contact with your friends and tell them to come back.”

“Why would I do that?” I notice there’s a distinct lack of swearing when he’s around Lizzy. If she wasn’t here, I’m sure there would be a few more “fucks” sprinkled in with his speech.

“Because I have an offer that you’re not going to want to refuse,” Dad says and I can’t help but raise my eyebrows. He doesn’t have to be so cheesy, but he just can’t help himself sometimes.

“He’s obsessed with The Godfather,” I say to Sylas, because he definitely looks confused.

I watch his face as he wages an inner battle. He’s normally so good at hiding his emotions (for the most part), but he’s almost completely stripped bare right now. He takes a deep breath and lets it out.

“Okay. I’ll listen to what you have to say, but if I don’t like it, you’re going to let me walk out this door with Lizzy and go about my life,” he says.

That’s not going to go over well. The plan is to not let him go. Dad wants him. I want him too, but for different reasons. We both want Lizzy.

Dad shakes his head. “I’m afraid I can’t let you take her. She’s my daughter and I intend to take care of her.”

This does not go over well with Sylas. His face turns red and I sense another impending explosion.

“You have no right,” he says. “I’m her legal guardian.”

True, but that’s not what’s in play here. Dad can do whatever he wants. Sylas may have resources, but he doesn’t have the kind of power my father does. That my family does.

“I know you are, and I don’t want to fight with you. I really don’t. I just want to be part of her life,” Dad says.

“You’re not going to stop me.”

“I know. That’s why I’m hoping to convince you.”

Lizzy is watching both of them with a knot forming between her eyebrows. She’s confused, I can tell, so approach her and ask her if she wants to go finish the movie.

“Why is my brother mad?” she whispers, which is a little bit louder than your average whisper.

I am reminded, again, that this girl is my half-sister. I always thought I was an only child and here she is.

“It’s okay,” I say. I wasn’t happy with Dad dropping that bomb on her, but I’m not even sure she knows what it means. He hasn’t told her that he’s her father. She just calls him “the man” for now. He seems to be fine with it as long as she’s here.

Dad used to disappear sometimes when I was a kid. And then when he’d come back, he’d be distant and stare off into space a lot. I always wondered why and now I know it’s because of her. He was looking for the daughter he lost.

“Let’s go back upstairs,” I say and start leading Lizzy away. Sylas and Dad don’t even notice me as we go.

“Your mother and I met in high school,” Dad says as I walk out of the room and start walking Lizzy up the stairs. No doubt he’s filling Sylas in on the rest of the story. I’d heard it only recently.

They’d met in school and been sweethearts. Typical young love. They’d wanted to be together, but Dad had bowed to parental pressure and married my mother instead. I don’t have to ask him if that’s his biggest regret. I know it is. He doesn’t love her. He never did.

But he married her and started work as a forensic accountant and that got him interested in working with fraud, money laundering and other financial crimes. He’d kept in touch with Marina and knew she’d married someone else and that he wasn’t a good man. Dad started his own investigation and found out a lot of the illegal things her husband was up to. He collected evidence over the years and finally had enough to show Marina so she could get out of the marriage.

He got uncomfortable with the next part of the story, because the night he went to tell her what her husband was up to was when Lizzy was conceived. He swears to me it was just the one time and he didn’t mean for it to happen and so forth. I honestly don’t blame him.

After that night, he lost touch with her. She wouldn’t take his calls and he couldn’t get in touch with her. He tried, but he didn’t want to make her husband suspicious and cause her harm, so he watched her from a distance.

Over the years, he found little ways to take care of Lizzy. Sending money, birthday cards, that sort of thing. He made sure to be discreet about it.

I asked him how he knew for sure Lizzy was his daughter.

“Because she told me. I don’t know how she knew, but she knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt,” he told me and even though I still had doubts, when I saw Lizzy for the first time, it was undeniable (at least to me) that she was his daughter.

The features they share are subtle. I’ve seen pictures of Marina, and Lizzy got most of her looks from her maternal side. She was a beautiful woman and her death left a hole in three hearts that can never be filled.

I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but I know that my life will never be the same.

Well, it changed the minute Sylas Carter walked into it. I should have known. I should have known.

Once again, I keep my ears trained downstairs for any sounds of fighting, or of gunshots. I wouldn’t put it past either of them. Both Sylas and my father have the potential to kill. I know my father has before.

Lizzy focuses on the movie and is quickly lost in it. I envy her for a moment. Her ability to forget the present and get completely wrapped up in a movie. To let your mind float for a while, unencumbered by heavy thoughts, it would be wonderful.

I’m doing my best to watch the movie when I hear a thud downstairs and I’m up and nearly tripping over my own feet as I run down the stairs as fast as possible. I shouldn’t have left them alone.

All kinds of worst-case scenarios race through my mind. What I find is Sylas on the floor and Dad leaning over him, taking his pulse.

“What did you do?!” I scream, throwing myself down beside Sylas.

“Nothing, he blacked out. I tried to catch him, but missed.” I narrow my eyes and look into his eyes, but he’s telling me the truth. Dad doesn’t lie to me, and even if he tried, I’d know.

“Why did he black out?” I ask.

“Not sure. I… I might have told him too much.” You think? I reach down and stroke his forehead. He’s still out.

“Let’s take him upstairs,” Dad says and the two of us drag Sylas’ prone body upstairs as Lizzy jumps around, offering suggestions. Anything from slapping him to dunking him in the pool to tickling his feet.

It’s all chaos and Sylas is still down for the count. He finally comes to when we drop him on my bed. Dad has taken Lizzy back downstairs because she’s a little too hyped up and left me alone to deal with Sylas.

His eyelids flutter and I see the confusion on his face before he realizes where he is.

“I didn’t peg you as a fainter,” I say as I sit next to him on my bed.

“I didn’t faint,” he growls, trying to be all alpha. Nice try, buddy.

I lean over and drag one finger down the middle of his forehead. He flinches away from me and I stop.

“Well, then, I don’t know what you would call it. Your brain spontaneously shutting down for a moment?” I say, trying to be playful.

“Sure,” he says, shifting away from me so he’s still on the bed, but as far as he can get without rolling off. Fine. He’s not very happy with me right now, and his brain is obviously spinning.

“I’m sorry this has been so much information overload. It was probably a bad idea to do it like this,” I say and he turns his head to glare at me.

“Do what? What are you doing, Saige?” he snaps, his blue eyes sparking. He’s pissed again and I’m glad I can talk to him without anyone else here. It’s finally time for my side of the story, which is a lot more complicated.

“I’m… I don’t know anymore. I thought I did. I’ve been working with my father for a while. In fact, He’d have me help with surveillance and he trained me to use a gun and how to tell a lie. My mother would lose her shit if she knew,” I say. I’m sure my mother has her suspicions, but she’d rather look the other way and pretend everything is perfect. That’s her MO. If she pretends it’s perfect, then it is.

“Why did he pick me?” Does he really need to ask?

“Because of Lizzy. It’s ironic, really. That you’d turn out the way you did.” I mean this as a compliment, and I can tell he’s not sure if it is.

“Because of her. He wanted to get to her through me.”

“Right.”

He takes a second to process that.

“So what’s real, Saige? Is any of this real? Or did you make it all up just to get me?” Now we’re in very complicated territory. I know Dad is going to be a little upset with me for telling Sylas this part, but I’m going to anyway.

“What do you think is real?” I ask him.

“At this point, I have no idea. I’m thinking that I’ve never been played like this before and I should have seen it coming.” He probably should have, given what he does with his time.

“Some of it was real. I mean, my father does own a clothing company and he has done some… not so legal things in his past. But he doesn’t do that anymore. He’s different. The only reason he makes deals with bad people is to flush those people out. To gather evidence on them. I think you can understand that.” He does exactly the same thing. They’re so much alike, in so many ways.

“And what’s your role?” he asks, his eyes locked on my face. I couldn’t escape him now even if I wanted to.

“It was my job to get you here. To get you to trust us. Ideally, you would have fallen completely in love with me and then you wouldn’t be able to say no when Dad asked about Lizzy. It’s… it’s not as simple as you want to make it, Sylas. There were a lot of reasons.”

At first, I was just supposed to get close to him. That was before we took that walk and he fucked me up against the wall of the alley. That was most definitely not supposed to happen. Sex was never in the equation. Until it was. And then I couldn’t stop. I was addicted to him. I told myself I was just doing a very thorough job, but it was so much more than that. And what started as helping my dad and wanting to get to know my sister turned into something else. And now here we are and I have no idea how this story is going to end.

“Lizzy. That’s all he wants,” he says, licking his lips. I want to kiss him, but it’s definitely not a good idea. Especially not when Dad can walk in at any moment.

“Well. Lizzy and… you.” Once Dad had seen what Sylas (plus his team of bros) was capable of, he wanted them. All of them.

“Me?”

“Yes. You. And the rest of your team. Do you have a name for yourselves? I mean, you’ve definitely got the whole Robin Hood thing going on,” I say with a smirk. He drops his anger for a moment and rolls his eyes.

“It’s not that kind of thing.”

“Sure, okay.”

We both lapse into silence for a moment.

“He wants me to work for him. Doing what?”

Now that’s something Dad will have to answer.

I get up from the bed. I can’t stand being this close to him right now without being able to touch him.

“You’re going to have to talk to Dad about that one.”

He shakes his head and rubs his temples. He’s definitely on information overload.

“I need to get the fuck out of here. I’m not coming back. I’m not listening to any more lies from you, or your father. I don’t want a job, I just want to be left alone and I swear, if you contact me again…” he doesn’t finish, and I know he’s angry enough to make threats against my life. I don’t think he’d hurt me, but I honestly don’t know for sure. I may have fucked him, but I’ve barely scratched the surface of Sylas Carter.

I hold up my hand to stop him as he heads for the door.

“Just wait. Don’t make any decisions now. Listen to what he has to say.” He crosses the space between us and grabs my arms.

“The game is over, Saige. Stop playing. You’re not going to seduce me. Ever again.” His fingers bite into my arms and I know they’re going to leave bruises. I don’t really care. At least he’s touching me.

“I’m not asking you to fuck me. You never have to do that again. I know you were just using me, Sylas. We were using each other. It was all part of the game,” I say. I can’t tell him how I really feel. That when I told him I loved him, it wasn’t part of the game. That was never supposed to be part of it.

“Don’t go. Don’t drive to California,” I say, my voice feeble. I’m not being very convincing at all.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” he says through clenched teeth. “You don’t get to fuck with my life.” It’s too late. I already have. Just as he’s fucked with mine. We couldn’t get clear of each other even if we wanted to.

“Just think about it. Please.”

He just stares at me for a moment and I think he’s going to kiss me. I wait for it, poised and ready. But then his eyes shut and he gathers himself.

He takes a breath and steps away from me.

“Fine. I’ll think about it. Now can I take my sister and go? Her routine is very important and I need to get her back to the Center.” I just nod and he’s gone from the room.

Three

“Lizzy, time to go,” he says as I robotically follow him down the stairs. She bounces to the bottom of the stairs and pouts when she hears him.

“Can I stay here? The man said that I could have cake and play with Saige and watch movies.” She claps her hands together and I can feel Sylas’ frustration.

He really wants to get away from us and it’s not going very well. Sylas steels himself and takes her arm. Gently, but firm.

“That does sound like fun, but I think we should go back to the Center, don’t you?” He gives her a smile and strokes her hair back over her shoulder.

“But I want to stay here,” she says.

“I know you do, but I think we need to go back. I know I promised we’d go to California, but I think we’re going to stay here. Won’t that be nice to stay here? You won’t have to leave your friends or the nice nurses. Won’t that be great?” Sylas speaks slowly and carefully, but Lizzy still isn’t convinced.

She looks into his eyes for what feels like forever and then she sighs.

“I guess.” We can all feel her disappointment, but no one intervenes. Not even Dad.

“It’ll be okay, I promise,” Sylas says, putting his arm around her and leading her toward the door. Even if he tries to head to California, it’s not going to happen. Sylas has his little team, but so does Dad.

“She could stay here, if she wants,” Dad says as a last ditch effort.

Sylas turns his glare toward Dad.

“No. She can’t. She needs to go back where she belongs,” he says.

Dad shakes his head, but sighs.

“I just want to get to know her,” he says. I move toward Dad. I know how much he’s aching right now. I can feel it too. I’ve barely had any time with her and now they’re leaving. They could stay here. Mom is off at some spa or something for the next few weeks, so we wouldn’t even need to worry about hiding them. Martha keeps her mouth shut. We pay her generously to do so.

Lizzy looks at Sylas with the kind of expression that someone would wear if they were begging for a pony. His anger drops as he looks at her.

“We’ll talk about it. Right now I need to get her back.” Dad and I both nod as we follow them toward the door. Sylas stops and pivots on his heel.

“Can I have my phone back?” he says. His car is here in the driveway. One of Dad’s henchmen went and got it.

“We’ll talk more soon,” Dad says as he hands over both Sylas’ regular phone and the burner.

“Sure,” Sylas says, and it’s not convincing at all. Dad leans close to Sylas and says something so Lizzy can’t hear. I’m sure he’s telling Sylas that if he tries to leave, it won’t go very well. Sylas nods and Dad pulls back.

“It was nice to see you, Lizzy,” Dad says. “Can I have a hug?” Lizzy would probably give everyone and anyone a hug, and complies.

Then it’s my turn as Lizzy yanks me into her arms.

“It’s so nice to meet you, New Sister,” I say.

“I love you, New Sister,” she says with a laugh.

Sylas pulls her away and gets her in the passenger seat, buckling her belt for her.

He only looks back once as he drives away. Even over the distance, the eye contact hits me like a punch. I shiver, even though it’s almost the first day of summer.

“He’s not going anywhere,” Dad mutters, as if to himself before he goes in the house.

I stand there for a while, half-hoping Sylas turn around and come back. That it will be like a movie with him running in slow motion and the music building and a mind-melting kiss.

But he doesn’t come back and I turn to go inside the house.

I spend the rest of the day in my room, going through my box of junk. Well, it isn’t junk, but some might consider it to be. It’s all the weird stuff I had to hide from my mother. Back when I was young and had to hide things from her. Now I don’t have to. Now I flaunt the things I do that she hates.

Like my tattoo. My appointment is tomorrow to get the color finished. I’m excited, but I wish Sylas could be there with me this time. It won’t be the same without him.

I have my septum hoop in my pocket and I fish it out and put it in. Dad isn’t a super fan of it, but at least I can wear it around him without worrying. I put it in and screw the little balls on the ends so it won’t come out.

Checking myself out in the mirror, I realize I should definitely wear this more often. It looks right.

I want to see Sylas. I want to get in my little red sports car and drive to his place and knock on the door until he lets me in. Then strip him bare and throw myself at him. He’d probably call the cops and Dad would have to bail me out of jail. That would definitely put a kink in his plans.

I throw everything back in the box and lay back on my bed.

This definitely isn’t what I planned to be when I was younger. Not at all. I always thought I was going to move to Florence or Paris or Budapest and marry a rich man who owned a vineyard or something. I’d spend my days drinking little cups of espresso and looking at paintings.

At least I get to look at paintings, even if they’re only in my books.

I should get back to my apartment. Do some studying or something. It takes a few minutes, but I finally get to my feet and tromp downstairs. I feel guilty leaving Dad here by himself in this big house, but I hate staying here. I don’t exactly have warm and fuzzy memories of my childhood. Sure, the pictures show me smiling, but I learned early on how to fake it until you make it. Not sure if I’ve made it yet.

“Dad?” I call out when I get downstairs. We should probably invest in an intercom system. Or I could just walk around with a bullhorn.

“Back here,” he says, and he’s where I thought he would be. In his office.

“What are you doing?” I ask as I walk in and close the door. He’s staring at a picture frame. I don’t need to see the picture to know who is in it.

“Thinking,” he says, putting the frame down and looking up at me.

“About?” I say, sitting down in one of the enormous leather chairs. It squeaks a little as I settle into it and pull my feet up.

“My past. All the mistakes I made.”

“Heavy,” I say, resting my chin on my hand.

“It can be,” he says, leaning back and sighing. “But we can’t go back, can we?” I shake my head.

“Nope.” What he doesn’t say is that he wishes he’d married Marina. But then he wouldn’t have had me. So.

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

“I think I’m going to head back to my apartment,” I say, standing.

He nods again, and I know my words aren’t getting through to him. He’s going to be lost in his head for a while.

Homework doesn’t exactly occupy my mind, but at least it gives me something to fill the hours. I think about driving to Sylas’ place and sitting outside in my car, just to make sure he’s staying there.

I grab my keys a hundred times, but then throw them back in the ornamental skull I keep them in. The clink as they rattle around is loud in my quiet apartment.

I’m up all night, thinking and thinking and thinking. I should be exhausted, but I can’t get myself to shut off, even for a few minutes.

At least I don’t have nightmares, although since I started sleeping with Sylas, they’ve been fewer and farther between, except for that one time.

I’m still embarrassed about it, and mostly because I can’t articulate what it is that causes me to thrash and eventually wake up with a scream lodged in my throat and fear’s sticky fingers gripped around my spine.

I shower and get dressed in a light tunic with a lace skull on it, black skinny jeans and boots. I’m getting my tattoo finished today, so I want to wear something that’s loose on top and comfortable enough to sit for hours.

I’m on my way to see Crash when I swerve at the last minute, and nearly cause an accident as I head toward Sylas’ apartment. His real apartment, not the fake one he took me to.

Finding a parking spot is easy, but I’m not too comfortable leaving my car in this neighborhood. Oh well. I’m willing to take the risk. I tiptoe up to his place and knock.

It takes forever for him to open the door, but really, it’s just moments.

“Hey, Sylas,” I say. Looking at him breaks my heart. Well, breaks it even further. It’s already shattered and the more I see him, the more pieces break off. Soon the bits will be so small, they’ll be grains of sand and I’ll have nothing left.

“What are you doing here, Saige?” he asks, his voice both irritated and tired.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to finish my tattoo,” I say. I rehearsed this in my head and it went much better.

He crosses his arms, his tattoos bulging. He’s only wearing a t-shirt, so I can see a lot of the work he’s got on his arms.

“And why would I do that, Saige?”

I shrug, for a lack of a better response and say what’s really on my mind.

“Because I asked you to?”

He almost rolls his eyes. Almost.

“That’s not a very good reason.”

“I know it isn’t. But I thought maybe it would work anyway,” I say, pretending I don’t care as much as I do. I really, really want him to come with me.

“This isn’t another ploy to convince me to turn Lizzy over and do whatever your father has yet to tell me he wants me to do?” His eyes narrow and I know that even if I tell him no, he’s not going to believe me. Trust is the cornerstone of any romantic relationship and right now, we don’t have any.

“This isn’t that. If you want, I won’t say anything about him. Please, just… come with me. I know you want to see how it turns out. And I’m sure Crash would like to see you again.” Sure, that’s a great way to sell it.

“I’ll let you be Quinn,” I add, hoping that will be a bonus, but he doesn’t change his stance.

“Or not.”

I take a breath and give it one last shot.

“I’ll let you be whoever you want to be, as long as you come with me.” Now I’m begging, but I don’t care. I just… need him.

He stares at me for a few more seconds and I’m not sure if he knows that he’s leaning toward me ever so slightly. He blinks once and then says, “Let me change my shirt.”

We don’t talk much on the drive over to the tattoo shop, so I turn on the radio and find something I want to listen to.

“I love this song,” I say. It’s “Fire & Gasoline” by Turnpike Troubadours. It’s not my typical taste, but there’s something about Americana that makes me stop and listen.

He doesn’t respond, but I can tell he’s listening to the music. It wraps around us and soon we’re at the shop.

Sylas doesn’t get my door for me when I get out and I don’t expect him to. We’re not dating anymore. We’re not anything anymore. The game is over and now we’re two people who don’t know what we mean to one another.

The bell dings when we go in and Crash is waiting for us. He gives me a smile and a hug this time. Like we’re old friends.

“Nice to see you again,” he says to Sylas, holding his hand out to shake this time. Sylas returns the handshake and Crash leads me over to the chair, patting it for me to sit down. I flip my shirt up and unclasp my bra, but make sure to keep my front covered.

“Hold my hand?” I ask Sylas. He begrudgingly pulls a chair over and clasps my hand in his. It feels both different and the same holding onto him.

He gazes at me and there are so many things written in his eyes. Regret, mostly. I try to force myself not to feel it too, but I can’t help it. Regrets and mistakes. If only I hadn’t fallen in love with him.

“You ready?” Crash asks me, patting the area he’s going to work on. I take a deep breath and nod. The buzz of the needle brings me back to last time I was in this chair. When I was so much happier.

The first stroke has barely a whisper of pain and then he gets down to the nitty-gritty and I bite my bottom lip between my teeth. I wanted a lot of color, so it’s going to take a while to get all of it done.

When Crash finally lifts the needle, I can’t believe he’s done. I feel like I’ve been sitting here for days instead of hours. Sylas has held my hand the whole time.

“Okay, get up and take a look.” I get to my feet, a little stiff, but I’m careful not to move too quickly and wrench the tender skin of my back. I go to a full-length mirror and look over my shoulder.

It’s exactly what I wanted, only better. The colors are too bright right now, but they’ll fade and be perfect.

“What do you think?” Crash asks.

“I love it. I absolutely love it,” I say. I can’t take my eyes off it.

“Good. That was a nice piece to do. I’m glad you like it.”

“I do. I really do.” I look up and see that Sylas can’t take his eyes off my back either. Now there is longing in his eyes. As if he wants to reach out and touch me. Then, of course, he scans upward and finds me watching him watching me. He looks away.

Crash tapes me up and goes over the care instructions again. I put my shirt back down and re-clasp my bra. Ouch.

I pay Ruby, who tells me how much she likes my tat and then we’re out the door. I wish I could go back to those hours of pain because at least I was holding his hand.

“Thank you for coming with me,” I whisper as I get back in the car. The seat hurts against my skin, but it’s bearable.

He doesn’t answer and I can’t take it anymore. The pain has made me bolder.

“We need to talk, Sylas. We really need to talk.” I do and I don’t want to talk to him. He looks straight ahead, his jaw clenched.

“Fine. But I’m not going back to your father’s house.”

“Deal,” I say, and finally start the car.