Текст книги "Обмани меня (ЛП)"

Автор книги: Бетани Бейзил

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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 6 страниц)

We’re Done

Avery

As soon as I stepped out of Matt’s building, my good mood evaporated. Along with the gray skies awaiting me came Xander. He leaned against his car, staring at me like a man who’d spent the night out here on the street. We stared at each other for a couple muted seconds. It was as if everything around us stood still, and that stupid fucking energy between us was all that existed. I snapped out of the daze first. I tried to cut right, but he cut me off, blocking me with his body.

“What the fuck did you do?” he whispered, his tone heavily laced with accusation. I ignored his question and avoided looking into his crazed eyes by moving to his left. Again, he blocked my path. I crossed my arms and stared off into the morning traffic and pretended to not see him.

“I swear if he touched you…” He grabbed my face between his palms, forcing me to look at him as he studied me. I pictured the image he beheld—hair bedraggled, eyes puffy—I looked like hell. His frown deepened. “If you let him touch you, I’m going to hurt him.”

I shoved him off me, and he stumbled back from the unexpected push. “You don’t get to tell me who I can sleep with. You slept with my Ellie… my Ellie. She’s my only family in this world, and you fucked her.”

He released me, throwing up his hands. “It was before you. Shit… if I hadn’t, I probably would’ve never met you.”

“Oh… so it’s fine, then. When we have kids and they ask how we met, we’ll tell them it was fate.” I stretched out my arms and looked up into the sky. “It was divine intervention. Your daddy fucked Auntie Ellie, and she slid him my card so he could screw me over too.”

He pressed his palms against his eyes and rubbed them. “What do you want me to do? I can’t undo it,” he said when he looked back at me.

“But you could’ve been honest! Both of you could’ve copped to what happened the night she walked in on us. But no… you two conspired to lie to me. You lied about everything.”

He pushed both hands through his hair, yanking the strands in frustration. “If we’d been honest, you would have left me.”

“At least at that point it wouldn’t have hurt so much.”

“But at that point nothing would’ve made you give me another chance.”

“There’s nothing now.” I looked down at our feet.

He flinched. “You said you loved me.”

I smiled as I looked up and shook my head at him. “I loved a liar. Doesn’t that make our love a lie?”

He shook his head rapidly. “No, I showed you the real me and you loved me. Gabriella was a minor detail in my past. It doesn’t change anything that happened between us.”

“What about my parents? Were they minor details too? You’ve been hurting me for years without me even knowing it. Seems like it’s what you live to do. Your past keeps coming back to hurt me, Xander.”

He took a step back and looked at me like I’d slapped him with my comment. He dug both hands in his pockets and looked down at the pavement. He looked almost vulnerable because of my dig, but I couldn’t be concerned with his feelings at that point. Not when he tore out my heart twice and I was still trying to get it to function.

The door behind us swung open and Matt stepped out. He paused, looking back and forth between Xander and me. He came up behind me, put a hand on my waist, and whispered into my ear, “Everything okay?”

Xander glared at him, his injured expression quickly morphing into one of stormy rage. Matt eyed him.

“If you touched her—”

“You’ll what?” Matt challenged, his hold on my waist tightening.

Xander stepped forward, and I blocked him. “Go home, Xander.”

“Come back when you’re man enough to be honest with her,” Matt threw in.

Fuck, this wasn’t like Matt at all. He was the logical one, and this was a revenge tactic I didn’t want to use. I just wanted Xander to go away and let me process everything without him smothering me, or Matt’s alcohol blurring the edges.

Xander removed his hands from his pockets. His fists were clenched, gaze narrowed in on Matt. I knew if I weren’t between them, there would be a full-on street brawl.

“Xander.” His gaze shifted to me, but his stance remained in attack mode. “Don’t make this worse.”

He looked at Matt one last time before he took a deep breath and walked off. We stood there watching him until he pulled his car onto the road and cut the corner furiously.

“That guy is miserable,” Matt said.

I elbowed him in the gut. He grunted.

“Who cares? You’re on my side, right?”

He chuckled. “Sure, but how long before you take him back?”

“Never.”

“Uh-huh… sure.” He hooked an arm around my neck and walked me to my car. “I give you a week.”

“Asshole.” I glanced over at him.

“Why? Because I know your heart?”

“Fuck you, Matt.”

“Don’t blame me because love got its dark hold on your heart.” he said as we stopped in front of my car.

Yeah… and it came with a gray cloud hanging over my head. And like the divine intervention I spoke of earlier, thunder cracked and the sky opened up and cried its tears on me.

*~*~*

Later that day, I walked into my office to find Ellie waiting on me.

It ’s the day that keeps giving.

I stilled at the doorway, and she stood. I’d been relieved to find the house empty when I stopped at home. I wasn’t ready to talk to Ellie. Her collusion with Xander devastated me.

“Do you have a minute?” she asked warily.

“No, I don’t.” I continued to my desk, dropping my briefcase on top and opening it.

“Avery, I just want to explain.” She followed, standing on the opposite side of my desk.

“I need to work and listen to other people’s problems.” I sat down and Ellie did the same.

“And ignore your own?”

“I’m not ignoring them. I’ve decided the best course of action is to not think about it at all. You lied to me for God knows how long about stripping, and then you let me carry on with a man you’d already been with.”

I stood and tried to make my way to the door to let her out, but she grabbed my arm and stopped my progress as I tried to walk past her. I glanced at her hand on my arm, and she let go promptly.

She stood up and faced me. “I’m sorry, okay? You seemed to really like him and I wanted you to be happy.”

“Do you know how fucked up that sounds? You were willing to let me be with a man you… fucked because you thought it made me happy.” Just saying the words made me feel ill.

“You loved him.”

“You know what? Fuck him. How about you tell me why you’ve become a stripper?”

She sighed and sat back down in the chair. “I was tired of being a burden to you. I promise you all I ever did was strip there. Xander was a mistake. He was rich and handsome, and I wanted him. But I realized he was cold, arrogant, and had issues, so I sent him to you.”

“I don’t want to hear this.” I couldn’t listen to her, because the flashes of them together began to emanate in my mind’s eye.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t send you into the lion’s den. I sent him to you. But even the lion has a heart, and I think he loves you, Avery.”

Un-fucking-believable. Was everybody on Xander’s side?

“You think I should be grateful because Xander loves me? Well, he was never in my plans. He’s an obsessive deceiver, and his insomnia is so severe I don’t think his brain functions correctly anymore. But I can’t stop thinking about him and wanting him. So yeah, you inserted Xander into my life. And he’s rich and successful and can fuck like a maniac, but he’s not what I wanted. Now I need him. I was going down a straight road, and now I’ve veered off to the left. I’m headed for disaster, and I can’t even stop myself. So what exactly have I won? His love?”

“I’m really sorry, Avery. I know you’re angry—”

“I’m not angry. I’m disappointed and hurt. When I turned eighteen and left you in that home, I came back every weekend for five years and made sure you were okay. I worked my ass off to finish school early so I’d be able to make a home for you when you turned eighteen. I’ve carried you on my back for so many years, Ellie, that I feel empty without you. You’re more than a friend to me. You’re my sister, you’re like a daughter to me, and I’d do anything for you.”

She looked away, tears rolling down her face as she quietly sobbed. Tears weren’t a luxury I afforded myself, and I couldn’t bring myself to feel sorry for her. Not now. Not after what she’d done. “Are we done here?”

She looked up at me and stood. “I don’t want to lose you.”

I grabbed her chin and our gazes locked. “You’re the only family I’ve got, so despite what you did, we’ll always be family. I just can’t stand to look at you right now. So were done here.” I dropped my hand and turned away. “Don’t call me. I’ll call you… when I’m ready.” I settled behind my desk as she quietly made her way to the door and shut it behind her.

Who Are You?

Xander

After a week of not seeing Avery, I knew I had to face the truth.

What was left of our relationship was flimsy at best—hanging on by its last string. But that last string was strong enough that I’d bet everything I had on it holding firm. Because although I’d cut the trust string and sawed away at the honesty one, that last string was love. And no matter how bad I’d fucked up everything else, that string was the most important, and it was going to bind us together.

I decided to show up at Avery’s office at lunchtime to see if she’d give me a few minutes, but Angela told me she was out. I didn’t know if she was lying or not, so I hung around outside, hoping to catch her returning.

When I finally caught sight of Avery strolling up the street, she wasn’t alone. If she would’ve gone to lunch with Matt, I wouldn’t have been surprised, because though I didn’t know what happened between them, I knew they’d always be close.

I was completely shell-shocked when I saw her walking with Ian. And laughing like everything in the world was fucking amazing. Seeing her with him made me sick with jealousy. From my spot across the street, I watched as they stopped in front of her office, and Ian embraced her in a long hug that lasted way too fucking long. Actually, I would’ve considered half a second too long. Now that we were on rocky ground, this thing with Ian made me more than a little anxious.

Avery pushed open the door and slipped inside the building as Ian turned. Our eyes collided. He smirked. And that was enough to put me over the edge. I crossed the street and confronted him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m not doing anything. If you don’t know how to take care of her, you don’t deserve her.” He raised an eyebrow.

“It makes you feel so fucking good that you were able to ruin me, right? You don’t even want Avery. You just get off on taking what’s mine. I won’t let you do this again.”

“You don’t deserve her just like you didn’t deserve Jessica.” He took a step forward, and with my temper flaring, I didn’t think that was a good idea.

“And you did? You think if she saw who you were now she’d still want you?” He flinched but didn’t say anything. “Just stay the fuck away from Avery.”

“And if I don’t? You know once I get my hands on her she’ll never come back to you. Jessica would’ve never come back to you. That’s why you killed her.”

And that did it.

I was done. I wasn’t taking his shit anymore. I’d tolerated him for years because I thought I deserved it, but now that he was trying to come between Avery and me, I was done.

Before I reined in my anger, I’d slammed my fist into Ian’s face, pushed him against a nearby car, and wrapped my hand around his neck. He got in one good hit that hurt enough to loosen my hold on him.

“What are you doing? Let him go.” I heard Avery’s voice, but it didn’t register she’d come back out until she started pulling at my arm. I released Ian and wiped the blood off my lip with the back of my hand. Avery glared at me angrily while she checked on Ian. Once she’d talked him into leaving, she pulled me into the building’s lobby and crossed her arms.

“Months ago I asked you who you were. Underneath all the bullshit and lies, who the fuck are you, Xander? Because I still don’t know. Street fights? Sleeping with strangers, then lying to me when you found out who she was. Not to mention the accident.” She stuck a finger into my chest and continued. “You should’ve told me the minute you found out. You should’ve trusted me—trusted this.” She waved a finger between us, angrily. “Instead, you fucked with my emotions. I don’t know what you think what just happened out there will prove. To me, it proves I never knew you.”

“Avery, you know me. You know things with Ian and me have always been volatile. You hanging out with him pushed me over the edge.”

“Well, he’s my friend. He tells me the truth. Right now, I can use all the friends I can get, because people are dropping out of my life really fast.” She turned and walked straight into the elevator. The doors opened as soon as she stepped in front of them, and she never looked back as they slid shut again.

Your Mom For Mine

Avery

I woke alone and immediately glanced at Xander’s side of the bed. I couldn’t comprehend how I’d slept in it alone for years, but three months with Xander, and all of a sudden, he’d left an invisible imprint in my bed—claiming the spot as his. It all came down to these awful mornings where I’d wake up missing his soft morning kisses and heated glances.

I hated myself for still craving him—for still loving him. There was no easy way to get over him, but I was determined to find it. Because as it stood now, he owned my heart, and I was almost convinced I was better off without it anyway.

As a psychiatrist, I knew all the medical ways to twist and turn my feelings to make them all seem like a normal part of the breakup process. But the hollowness inside me wasn’t normal, and there was no textbook that told me how to fill it back up. I knew I was balancing on a dangerous line. Love was a catalyst for a whole slew of diseases. It wasn’t love that was the problem; it was how we dealt with the destruction that quickly pulled us under.

The feelings he made me feel were too reckless for this to end well. Going from being blissfully in love to unbelievably hostile toward Xander happened so abruptly it was akin to having a fever and being thrown into an ice-filled tub of water. The shock of it had my body seizing and my emotions scrambling to make sense of the unexpected change. Hence, the ridiculous withdrawal I had from not waking next to Xander.

I hopped out of bed, took a shower, and trudged into the kitchen. The house was quiet. With both Ellie and Xander out of my life, loneliness had become my true companion. Not that my life was brimming with people to begin with, but in one fell swoop, I’d lost Ellie, Xander, and Susan.

Susan…

I hid from the whole Susan issue for quite a while. I avoided her after the strange dinner we’d had at her house. It was as though I didn’t want to push for answers because I sensed total devastation.

I pretty much had figured out why she’d become part of my life, but I needed to face her. It was Saturday, and I had absolutely no plans. I knew I had to make a trip to Pierce Manor so I’d stop mentally mapping out all the ways Susan had deceived me and get the truth out of her—if that were even possible coming from a Pierce.

~*~*~

I pulled up to Pierce Manor, and my gut clenched. The first time I came here with Xander, I thought it looked like a modern castle—really pretty but obnoxiously large for a small family. That day the rolling green lawns and the sheer extravagance of the place intimidated me. I just knew I wasn’t going to have anything in common with Mrs. Pierce, not realizing that I’d bonded with her for almost half my life.

I talked myself into getting out of the car, climbing the stairs, and ringing the doorbell. Susan opened the door, the smile slowly fading from her face. She seemed a little taken aback by my arrival, but she had to know I’d come sooner or later.

Susan was always youthful in her appearance despite being in her mid-fifties—light-brown shoulder-length hair, minor wrinkles around her gray eyes. Nothing like Xander’s color-fluctuating irises. He must’ve inherited a combination of his parents’ eyes, because they were quite unique.

“Avery,” she greeted me cautiously as she stepped back and let me into the house. “Come. I was just about to have some coffee.”

She shut the door, and I followed her through the foyer, down a long hallway, and into the kitchen. I sat at the table next to the window looking out onto a huge garden.

“Cream and sugar in your coffee, right?”

I turned to her and our eyes met. “I don’t want any coffee, Susan.”

“How about tea?” She picked up a tea kettle.

“No.”

“Oh, I have these fantastic muffins from the café in town.” She picked up a basket of baked goods and put it in the middle of the table.

“Susan…” I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. “I’m not here to have breakfast. I think we both know why I’m here.”

She stood over the table, staring at me. I gestured to the seat on the opposite end, and she sat. Our gazes locked, but we remained silent. The conversation we needed to have hung in the air, but I was almost afraid to have it. I didn’t want to lose Susan in my life, but I knew her taking care of me had never been about me.

“So all these years—everything you did for me—it was all about Xander.” My tone was a raspy whisper, totally unrecognizable to me.

“No,” she proclaimed as she tried to reach out for my hand but seemed to second-guess her decision, pulling them back into her lap.

“Don’t lie to me, Susan. Not anymore.”

She sighed. “It was never about Xander. It was always about taking care of a little girl who lost everything. The first time I saw you was at your parents’ funeral.”

I tried to remember seeing Susan there, but I couldn’t. The whole day had been a blur to me. A lot of strangers—people I’d never met a day in my life—encroaching on my good-bye to my parents.

“I asked around, trying to find out where you were going and who was taking you in. It wasn’t long before I discovered you were going to be put into the system. I needed to be able to keep an eye on you, make sure you were safe, so I lied to you.”

I clenched down on my jaw. I didn’t come here to get angry, but that’s what I felt at the moment. “If you were so concerned with my safety, why didn’t you take me in? You live in this palatial home and had more than enough resources to make it happen.”

Her gaze lowered to the table, and her shoulders slumped a bit. After a few quiet minutes, she spoke without meeting my demanding gaze. “I know you came here for honesty.”

“So give it to me. You owe me that much.” I folded my hands on the table and waited.

She looked up at me. “Honestly, I wanted to help you, but I couldn’t bring you here because I needed to protect my son and my husband.”

“That’s bullshit.” She flinched because she was like a mother to me, and I’d never spoken that way to her. I was also shocked at the venom in my voice, but I couldn’t hold it back. “How would taking me in hurt them?”

“Xander was so mentally broken after that accident I knew if he found out about you, it would be the last straw. He would’ve turned himself in, and Jonathan had already covered up the whole accident. Bringing you here would’ve put all that in jeopardy. If anyone found out that the mayor—who was up for the senate seat at the time—covered up his son’s role in an accident that ended in three deaths…” She sighed. “I know all this sounds selfish, but at the time, I was just trying to protect everyone involved.”

I shook my head. “I trusted you.”

“I know.”

“You helped me grieve. You made me go see that doctor for my panic attacks. If it hadn’t been for your nudging me into going, I wouldn’t be a psychiatrist now. I wanted to help people the way Dr. Adams helped me. I never let anyone in the way I let you in, and now I find out it was all a lie—a cover-up.” I balled my hands up on the tabletop.

She reached out and this time built up enough courage to wrap her hands around my clenched fist. I tried to pull away, but she held tight. “I know I chose Xander and Jonathan over you, but never doubt that I loved you. I always will.”

I hated how much I wanted to sweep everything under rug and accept her, Ellie, and Xander back in my life. That was the worst part. There was a battle going on inside me between my heart and my brain. My brain saw everything clearly. It dealt in cold, hard facts. But my heart tended to blur the hard edges and focus in on the good memories, and it magnified my feelings like they were all that mattered.

“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I can’t say I’m not angry at you, but…” I shrugged. “You helped me with my college application, with my trust fund, and—”

I paused when Susan swiftly pulled her hands off mine and looked away. “Susan?” I dragged out her name because of her weird reaction.

“I don’t want to lie to you anymore.” She turned back to me, and I tried to go back over what I’d said to cause this reaction from her. She met my gaze but remained silent.

“The trust fund?” It was the last thing I mentioned. She nodded, her lips tightly pressed together.

“Was that really from my parents’ life insurance?” I narrowed my eyes and watched her suspiciously.

She shook her head.

The calm that had fallen over me began to disappear, and anger quickly took form inside me. “Where’d it come from?”

She didn’t respond, and I was getting tired of the lies and the sudden speechlessness.

“Where!” I slammed my fist on the table, causing Susan to startle.

“There was a life insurance policy, but it wasn’t as large as the one you received.”

“How much was it?”

“Two hundred thousand.” She wrung her hands together.

“There was over a million in that fund.” My voice was rumbling with unleashed rage. Everything was a lie. There were so many untruths surrounding me I wasn’t sure if I knew what my reality was anymore.

“Jonathan and I decided to put something away for you until you were older,” she confessed.

“Guilt money,” I accused.

“No.”

“Yes!” I jumped up from my seat, the chair scraping against the floor. “Your son killed my parents. Then you and your husband covered it up and paid me off to relieve your guilt.”

“Avery, sweetie.” She stood, one hand reaching out for me, the other over her chest.

“And what’s worse is you stood around and let Xander fuck with my heart, knowing what he’d done.” I pointed a finger at her.

“Avery, please.” She gasped, hunching over and clutching her chest.

“It’s true you facilitated this lie that is turning my life upside down.”

“Avery…” Her breaths shortened and she began wheezing. “Ambulance,” she managed to say.

S hit.

“Susan?” I moved to her side and caught her before she crumbled to the floor. I pulled out my phone and quickly dialed 9-1-1. Her hold on my hand loosened. Then she whispered, “Sorry.”

She passed out as I talked to the operator. And all I could think as I waited for them to arrive was that Xander would think I took his mother away just as he’d taken mine.