Текст книги "Willing Captive "
Автор книги: Belle Aurora
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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 13 страниц)
His length nestles between my wet folds and he thrusts slowly. The friction against my bud sparks something primal inside of me. I lift my legs and wrap them around his hips, moaning. He picks up pace, his thrusts becoming harder and a little faster. My heart rate elevates and my chest heaves. My stomach flips around like a fish out of water. Pin prickles fan out along my spine. Tightening my legs around his hips, he pushes harder onto my sweet spot and a keening cry bursts out of me.
My hips jerk and the spasms start. His dick nestles further into my folds and I see stars.
I’m floating in a river of ecstasy, drinking a fruity cocktail of bliss with a cute little umbrella on the side. When the contractions slow, I lean my head back on the pillow and moan, “I love sex.”
Nox’s head falls onto my stomach as his body shakes with laughter. I don’t even have the energy to be embarrassed about my wanton hussiness. That was effing awesome.
After a moment’s recovery, Nox lifts his head and I feel his hand at my mound. His eyes meet mine. He rubs me gently, up and down, and my eyes flutter.
It’s perfect. He knows not to be too rough right now.
My pulse quickens and the happy feelings start to sizzle. Still soaking wet, I feel his thick finger circle my entrance, as if asking permission. I lift my hips a little and the tip of his finger slips inside.
Damn!
That feels a little funny.
Nox watches me. I watch him. His finger slides deeper inside of me and his face becomes pained. “You’re so tight.”
And I cringe. “I’m sorry.”
His face turns to stunned disbelief. “Baby, that’s not a bad thing. My cocks harder than a rock. I just have no idea how I’m gonna last more than ten seconds in your sweet pussy.”
Oh, wow!
I haven’t heard Nox use dirty words before and unintentionally, my core moistens again.
Nox groans when he feels it and starts a motion with his finger, sliding in and out of me. He mutters, “Fuckin’ hell. She likes the dirty talk.”
My cheeks flame, but I have no time to react when his finger slides out of me and he pushes two inside of me. A twinge of pain hits me and my eyes close in hurt.
Geez, I hope that was it.
But Nox keeps a slow motion and eventually I enjoy the feel of two of his thick fingers inside of me. He makes a scissor like motion with his fingers inside me and the pain returns. I whisper, “Ow.”
His eyes sad, he asks softly, “You sure you wanna do this? The first time…it hurts, baby.”
Putting on my poker face, I nod and smile. He searches my face a little while before moving up my body so the tip of his shaft kisses my wetness.
He says gently, “Bend your knees.”
So I do. It opens me a little more and the tip of him slides into me.
I gasp and wince. It hurts a little, but not too bad. I suppose the wetness helps. He watches me closely, “’Kay, babe?”
Nodding for him to continue, I grip his upper arms for support. He slides in a little more and the pain doubles.
Oh shit. This really sucks!
Never being one to mask my emotions, Nox leans forward and kisses my nose. “I’m sorry, baby. I’ll go slow.”
I breathe deeply, desperately trying to steady myself when his thick length slides a little deeper. A burning pain slithers through me and it hurts so much I whimper. He starts to pull out, but I cry out, “Just do it. Please, honey. Just do it.”
His eyes flash with concern but I hold his stare. He swallows hard before whispering, “Shit. I’m sorry, baby.”
He slides all the way in.
Something rips inside of me.
And the pain is so intense that my mouth opens in a silent scream.
I’m being torn apart.
Wrapping his arms around me, he rocks me gently. Kissing my forehead, he mutters, “Sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. Fuck. I’m sorry.”
Wincing, my eyes close. Tears fall out the sides of my eyes. I could only describe the pain as agony. I cry silently, but hold Nox tight and whisper through shuddering breaths, “I’m so happy. So happy. I’m glad it was you.”
Wiping my tears away, he places sweet, soft kisses at the corners of my eyes. “Don’t cry, baby. You remember what you said this morning? About it being totally stupid to fall in love with me?”
At that, my eyes open. He adds quietly, “Then you should start calling me a fuckin’ moron.”
Overcome with emotion, I burst into tears and whisper, “Me too.” Then I close my eyes and wail, “I’m the village idiot!”
Nox bursts into laughter while I continue to wail. Wiping away my tears, he smiles down at me, “We’re quite a pair, huh?”
Sniffling, I answer truthfully, “I don’t think it could get better than this for me. So, yeah, we’re quite a pair. The best kind of pair.”
Then suddenly, I realize that I’m no longer hurting.
Testing out how much I’m hurting, I wrap my legs around Nox and pull up, pushing him further into me. My eyes flutter and I hear Nox growl.
Oh, damn. That feels kind of amazing.
Nox places his hands by my head, supporting himself over my body while I rock against him. My eyes never leave his. This is feeling good but something is missing. Leaning up, he comes down to me, kissing me hungrily. My lips part and I feel his tongue lick along the inside of my top lip. And it’s so hot that my hips buck.
Against his mouth, I mutter, “Baby, move. Please.”
So he does. And although I’m sore, it feels good. The friction is deliciously addictive. He thrusts slowly and I sigh.
This is what sex should feel like.
As if reading my mind, Nox shares, “Amazing. And it only gets better, princess.”
My heart rate spikes. My body suddenly desperate for more, I beg, “Faster. Harder.”
Kissing my lips fiercely, his thrusts become wild and my body feels warm and light. The vein in his temple pulses, and pulling away from my lips, he murmurs, “This is gonna be quick, Lily.”
Then just as I reach up and connect our lips again, he pulls out of me. Panting, he groans into my mouth and I feel his warm come spurt onto my mound and belly.
And it’s then that I realize we didn’t use a condom .
So careless. So stupid. So freakin’ idiotic.
I guess I’m just lucky that he remembered to pull out or I’d have a possible pregnancy on my hands. And although that’s an option one day, it’s not something I want now. Not wanting to break the mood, I reach up and run my fingers down his cheek. I smile up at him and bite my lip. “That was amazing.”
His eyes warm as he smiles down at me. “You’re a liar. It was horrible, not amazing.” I laugh at myself. Leaning down, he pecks my lips as he adds a promise. “But it will be.”
Running my nose along his, I utter sleepily, “I’ll hold you to that.”
Chapter Eighteen
The eye of the storm
Lily
Waking with a smile, I bury my face deeper into the crook of Nox’s neck.
“Mornin’, babe,” he mumbles, “Feelin’ okay?”
Not really sure how I feel yet, I clench between my legs and hiss, “Ow. Not ready for another round just yet, I’m afraid.”
Wrapping his arms tighter around me, he suggests, “You should have a nice warm bath. You do that and I’ll bring you some breakfast.”
Raising my head, I look at him through sleepy eyes. “You do that and I’ll never go home.” And as soon as I say it, I want to eat the words while they’re still in the air. But it’s too late.
Both our faces fall. An awkward silence follows.
I move to roll out of bed, but his hand closes around my wrist. Pulling me back to him, he tucks me into his side and sighs, “We knew it was gonna get brought up eventually, princess. We can’t pretend forever.”
The bridge of my nose tingles and I whisper, “But I like pretending with you.”
He kisses the top of my head and murmurs into my hair, “Me too, baby. Me too.”
***
This morning flew by.
First, Nox started a bath for me. I climbed into said bath and spent around half an hour relaxing my sore muscles. Some of those muscles I didn’t even know I had. Secondly, we ate breakfast together. Today was not an oatmeal kind of day, so I made pancakes and much to Nox’s obvious disgust, I drenched them in butter and syrup before wolfing them down. Mostly without chewing. Thirdly, after my sugar rush, we worked out. Today was a rare occasion where all four of us did our sessions together.
And Boo. Oh, Boo.
The entire time, she kept her eyes on me. Squished face and smiling like a freakin’ dork. It got to me so badly that I threw a padded baton at her.
Talk about awkward.
And lastly, after our session was done, Boo pulled me into her room for the four-one-one on last night. And it went a little something like this:
Bouncing on the spot, she squeaked, “Sooo. How did it go?”
It’s a total bummer on her behalf, after all the time she took explaining things to me, but I have to be honest. “It was awful.”
Her bouncing slowed. Then stopped. Her face bunched in confusion. “What?”
Nodding, I explained, “Yep. Totally sucked. It was bad. Like bad bad. And painful. And seriously awkward.”
Boo’s mouth gaped.
But then I added, “But it was perfect.”
Looking even more confused, she mouthed, “What?”
Smiling, I uttered, “Nox. It didn’t matter how it went. It mattered that it was him. And he was so good to me. So gentle and super sweet. Saying the right things when I needed them to be said. He was so perfect that it didn’t matter how it went. I was with him. So it was perfect.” Looking up at Boo, I smiled a genuinely happy smile, trying to convey just how perfect it was.
Her lips quivered and her eyes misted. She whispered, “That’s awesome, Dee.” Clearing her throat, she added, “It gets better though. Way better. And you get better at it, too.”
Leaning back, I pursed my lips. “Shit, Boo. It couldn’t get worse.”
A bark of laughter burst out of her and I smiled.
…It better get better.
***
Smiling to myself, I all but skip down the hall to Nox’s office. Not bothering to knock, I open the door and step in. Nox stands with his back to me, looking out the window, talking on the cell phone. I hear one side of the conversation.
“No, sir. It’s not that complicated.” Pause. “I understand. I assure you when the time comes, I can let her go.”
My heart skips a beat.
Obviously not having heard me enter, he continues, “She’s just a girl. She’ll get over it. We knew it wouldn’t last anyway. We were stupid to start it.”
My heart shrinks. Then shrivels. Then dies.
My throat thickens. I try to swallow the lump but can’t. My eyes blur with unshed tears.
“Yes, sir. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. It was a moment of weakness and it won’t happen again.”
Oh God. No.
***
Nox
Mitch’s voice sounds into the cell, “Listen, Nox. I know it can be lonely in this life, but you’re better off finding one of your own. I’m not sure if I want you working this anymore. You’re in too deep. I think it might be clouding your judgment. Hell, you took her off site! That isn’t like you.”
I should’ve known he would find out about me and Lily at the beach.
The door to my office opens. I know it’s her. But I need to steer Mitch the other way.
My eyes shut tight and my chest aches as I say, “No, sir. It’s not that complicated.”
Mitch utters, “I hope not. This could cause trouble. I think it already has.”
I force out, “I understand. I assure you when the time comes, I can let her go.”
I almost hear Lily’s heart break when I say, “She’s just a girl. She’ll get over it. We knew it wouldn’t last anyway. We were stupid to start it.”
Mitch pauses a moment, then, “I’m sure you did the best you could, son. I know I can count on you, Nox. You’re one of my best men.”
I choke the urge to roar in anger and mutter, “Yes, sir. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. It was a moment of weakness and it won’t happen again.”
The rage builds inside of me. I feel it trail up my chest as it claws its way into my head.
Mitch finishes with, “I suspect it won’t. Keep me updated.” Then he’s gone.
Head pounding, I clutch the phone tight. Breathing deep, I dip my chin and say, “Come here, baby.”
Her voice hitches, “No.” She chokes out, “You made me believe…I’m so stupid…I believed…”
Turning, I throw down the cell and walk over to her. She holds her hands out, palms up and utters through gritted teeth, “Don’t you touch me. Don’t you fucking touch me.”
I plead, “Baby, listen to me.”
Walking back with her palms up, tears fall down her cheeks. She hisses, “I believed you! Don’t come near me, Nox. You’ve made it clear where we stand.”
Turning on her heel, she tries to escape.
Not a chance of that happening.
Running up behind her, I wrap my arms around her arms, holding her tight. She kicks out. “Let go of me! You’re a liar!” A sob bursts out of her, “You’re a goddamn liar and I hate you!”
Her body shakes with silent sobs and I rock her side to side, allowing her a moment to get it out. She weakens in my hold and stops fighting. I take this chance to explain, “Knew you were there the whole time, baby. And I never lied to you. I lied to Mitch.”
Lily mutters, “I don’t believe you. You were always going to leave me. You were never going to come back for me.”
There’s so much I want to tell her right now, but I can’t. Swallowing hard, I tell her, “Lily, I swear, I never lied to you. There are things I want to tell you, but I can’t right now. Just please believe me when I say I never lied to you.”
Still hurt by what she heard, she tries to pull free. “No. I don’t have to believe shit!”
Holding her tighter, I lean my head forward, closer to her ear and whisper, “What’s my name, princess?”
She stills in my arms. “Adam.”
I urge, “My full name.”
She whispers, “Adam Christian Taylor.”
“And where was I born?”
Her breath hitches. “White Deer, Texas.”
Planting a kiss to her neck, I ask, “When’s my birthday?”
She chokes on a sob. “March eighteenth.”
Burying my face into her neck, I say, “Know how many people know that information?”
Her answer if a sniffle.
I state, “You. Just you, Lily. You’re the only one I trust with that. Because you’re everything to me.”
Collapsing in my arms, she cries softly. I turn her around and pull her into a hug. I’m immediately relieved when her arms come around me and she squeezes me tight.
“I just heard– I mean, I walked in and–then you said–and I didn’t know–and it hurt so much!” She cries into my chest and I kiss the top of her head.
“I know. And I’m sorry you thought what you thought. But it was Mitch who needed to think what you thought. I heard you come in, baby. I knew you were there the whole time. I still had to do it,” I say as I rub her back.
Feeling protective of my girl, I decide to let her in on one little secret. “Doesn’t matter where you are, baby. I’ll come for you.” She lifts her watery eyes to mine and I state confidently, “I’ll come for you.”
Lifting her face, I lower mine. We meet in the middle.
The kiss is sweet. So much conveyed in that small gesture. I release her lips to whisper, “You gotta trust me like I trust you, ‘kay?”
She nods and sniffles. So I kiss her sweet lips again.
And again.
And again.
***
Lily
I hang out with Nox in his office for the rest of the afternoon.
He puts me to work filing, and although it’s a crappy job, I used to do it at Flynn Logistics all the damn time, so I’m good at it. Within an hour, I have him up to speed and he sets me to work looking through boxes to see if there’s anything else I can do without getting bored.
Nox types away at his laptop, clearly busy, so when I open the first book and gasp quietly, he doesn’t react.
There, on top of the files, is my cell phone.
Picking it up, I hold it for a while before placing it back in the box and shutting the lid.
Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply. Temptation will not win out. I am stronger than this. I do not need to turn it on. I’ve been fine without it for months. I don’t need it.
You don’t need it.
No. I don’t.
Opening the box again, I pick up my cell and hold down the power button. It starts without a problem. There are a ton of text messages and missed calls, but before I can check anything, the phone rings.
Staring at the display, I still.
Jett.
Jamie’s twin brother.
I need to take this.
I’m so tangled in the phone ringing that I don’t hear Nox move until he’s behind me. “Lily, baby, don’t answer.”
Still kneeling in front of the open box, my fingers twitch.
“Baby, that phone isn’t secure. Don’t answer.”
Standing, I hold the cell phone by my side and turn to Nox. He looks worried. I whisper, “I have to take this.”
Nox shakes his head. His lips thin. “It’s not a secure line, Lily. Anyone can track it.”
Looking back down at the still ringing phone, I whisper again, “I need to take this.”
Nox reaches out to take the phone, but I hold it out of reach. His eyes meet mine, confusion written all over them. Breathing heavily, I say, “I’m sorry.” Then run out the door, down the hall and into my old room. Taking the chair from inside the room, I drag it into the bathroom with me and lodge it under the door knob.
Not a second after I place it there, the door handle jiggles. Nox yells, “Babe! Stop! Do not answer!”
Closing my eyes, I press the call button. I hold the cell to my ear and whisper, “Hello?”
Nox bangs on the door and booms, “Hang up, Lily! Fuck!”
“Lily! Lily, darlin’! Please don’t hang up! It’s urgent!”
Oh my effing God!
A heavy Irish accent but the wrong brother. A clearly distressed Jamie Harrison begs for me to stay on the line.
The person who I thought was my friend.
The person who organized a hit on me.
He was going to have me killed for money.
And I trusted him.
My finger dances on the end call button. I accuse, “I thought you were my friend, Jamie.”
He yells, “I am, Lily! I feckin’ love ye! Yer my family, girlie. I’m more a feckin’ Flynn than I am a Harrison! Please listen ta me!”
There’s something about the desperation in his voice I don’t like.
I know Jamie. I know him well enough to know that he isn’t a shaking-in-your-boots type of guy. The boots are shaking now. I can almost hear them through the phone.
Steeling my voice, I tell him, “You’ve got thirty seconds to make me listen.”
His voice shakes as he whispers, “Never meant for this ta happen. It wasn’t meant ta happen like this. I swear, Lily.” Voice breaking, he mutters, “Swear on my own life.”
My chest squeezes. This is so unlike Jamie.
Sniffling, he states, “Jett’s trying ta kill me.”
What? No way.
Jett and Jamie are closer than close. I don’t believe it.
Covering my mouth with my hand, I listen wide-eyed as he starts, “Jett came up with an idea ta get money. We needed ta do something ta look after mam. Do ye ken? It was all for Mam, Lil.”
He moans low, as if in pain. Panting, he goes on, “Da knew about what happened when ye were a bairn. He told us all about it. We were desperate enough to use it against ye.” Panting harder, his voice shakes. “Said it’d be perfect. No one would get hurt. We get the money. Then we disappear.”
Jamie breaks into a coughing fit and my heart races.
More banging, then Nox yells, “Open the fucking door, Lily! Don’t make me break it down!”
Don’t hang up!
Eye prickling, I ask, “What then, Jamie?”
Breathing deeply, he steadies his voice. “Then it changed. Jett started ta hide shit from me. He changed the password on our laptop, Lily. I couldn’t get in. Took the work phone away from me. Started listening on yer father’s conversations and asking about ye. A lot, girlie. I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t ken how much.”
Jamie makes a choked noise, he whispers through tears. “He framed me, Lily. I swear it.” My entire body jolts as he roars, “The feckin’ twat framed me!”
Tears fall onto my cheeks.
Fuck.
He isn’t lying. No way, no how. I whisper, “What does he want?”
His voice shakes, “Never about you, Lily. Never. He wants two things.” I wait patiently as he utters, “Money. And Terah. He’s on his way ta get her now. He knows where ye are, Lily. Don’t be fooled. He’s smarter than he shows. Ye need to get out of there. Get somewhere safe. He’s lost his mind.”
My blood runs cold.
Trembling, I screech, “Nox!” before breaking into sobs.
Standing, I kick away the chair that holds the door locked.
Jamie starts to cough again, wheezing as he mutters, “He feckin’ killed me, Lil.”
My voice quakes as I ask, “What do you mean, Jamie? Where are you?”
His voice weakens. “In my apartment, love. And it won’t be long now. I’ll be back with Da.”
Tears fall freely down my cheeks and I shout, “You’re not going to die!”
Jamie chuckles, “Oh, sweets, the two bullets in my chest tell me different.” Doubling over, I clutch my stomach, bawling as I listen to my dying friend. “Ye were the best thing about America, Lily. Never wanted ta live here, but I had to come. Yer da is a good man. And I loved him like he was my own.”
More banging in the background.
Arms come around my waist, but I clutch the phone to my ear and whisper, “You’re going to be okay.”
“No, Lil. I won’t. But I’m good with that. Get ta see Da.” His voice turns reverent. “Never had a sister before, Lil.”
My body shakes violently with my tears. A second more and I hear the call disconnect. Panicked, I wail, “No!”
I’m crumbling.
Nox rocks me, but not before taking my cell and throwing it hard against the bathroom wall. It shatters into a hundred pieces and I sob while Nox holds me.
Between choked breaths, I tell him, “Jamie’s dying. They got it wrong. It’s Jett, not Jamie. He shot him, and now he’s going after Terah.” Closing my eyes, I whisper, “Don’t let him get her. Please, God. Don’t let him get her.”
Opening my eyes, I look at Nox through the mirror and say quietly, “He knows where I am.”
Nox’s arms tighten around me. Offering false security.
Chapter Nineteen
Leaving on a Jett plane
Lily
Pandemonium. That’s the only word I could use to describe the hours after that call.
Rock yells on one cell while Nox barks orders through another, and Boo packs a bag full of my things.
We’re leaving tonight.
I don’t know where we’re going, but as long as I’m with Nox, I’ll be okay.
My body trembles.
I’m not showing my true fear. Nox is stressed enough without having to deal with my BS.
Boo stops what she’s doing at the sight of me. And I thought I was hiding it so well. She comes over and wraps her arms around me, and I let her. She whispers encouraging words that I don’t actually hear.
Rock finishes up his call looking more than worried.
Shit.
Turning to Nox, he waits patiently for him to finish his call. Once off the phone, Nox barks, “Tell me something good, Rock. I couldn’t handle bad right now.”
Rock lowers his eyes. He says quietly, “Safe house Zed was breached just now.”
My heart stops altogether.
Before I can ask about Terah, he adds, “Jon knew something wasn’t right. Went with his gut and took Terah away from there. I don’t know where they are, but wherever it is, they’re safe.”
I turn my face to watch Nox. He swallows hard. He looks angry. Very angry.
Sniffing, he asks, “Fallen?”
Rock stills a moment before answering softly, “Takeshi and Sean.”
Nox steps back, sucking in a deep breath.
I still don’t know what’s going on.
Hands on his hips, Nox enquires, “Gunfire?”
Rock says even softer, “Explosion. Zed was blown apart.”
Oh God. Oh God. Oh my fucking God!
People are dead. Takeshi and Sean are dead.
My eyes fill with tears. They died protecting my sister. And I never even met them. I’ll never meet my sister’s heroes. I ask a hollow, “People are dying?”
Nox, Rock, and Boo all look at me. I ask again, quieter, “People are dying because of me?”
Immediately, Nox is by my side. And he’s furious. “No. Don’t do that. This is not your fault. This is because of some sick fuck with a crush.” Looking up at him through blurry eyes, he cups my cheeks and leans his forehead on mine. “Not your fault, baby. I swear.”
I know it’s not appropriate, but I love that he used my version of a promise by saying ‘I swear’.
Reaching up, I hold his hands over my cheeks. “What do we do now?”
Pulling back, he states, “We get outta here. Take Jonathon’s line of thinking and disappear. Just me and you, babe.”
Taking a deep breath, I nod as I exhale.
Nox whispers, “Good. Get your shit.”
As I walk over to back of the room, a deafening boom sounds from the back of the house, and I see a flash of blinding white light before an unseen force throws me backwards to the ground.
The house shakes. The fixtures rattle. The furniture moves. My heart slams into my chest. I’m winded from the fall. Shaking, I hold my hands over my ears and watch as the windows, a foot away from me, explode. Ducking my head, I scream in shock and use my forearm to cover my face.
Glass shards spray me, and closing my eyes tightly, I feel wet warmth on my forehead and arm.
Looking around, I see Nox yelling so hard the veins in his neck bulge. He motions for me to come to him but I can’t move.
I’m petrified.
Army crawling towards me, he yells some more, but I can’t hear a thing. A ringing sound echoes through my head.
Blinking, I shout, “What?”
His lips move, but I still can’t hear over the ringing. Adrenalin causes blood to roar in my ears, and finally I begin to hear.
Boo and Rock yell out while Nox directs them.
Confusion seeps through me. I can’t comprehend what’s happening. All I know is that it’s bad.
Another explosion. Closer this time. The house shakes feverishly.
A frightened shriek escapes me. Nox shouts, “Go with Boo!”
Opening my mouth to respond, arms come around me from behind and pull me backwards. Everything’s happening so quickly. I’m in a panic.
Watching Nox watch me, a torrent of tears escape me. Shrugging off the arms, I fall forward on my knees and scramble across broken glass back to Nox. Crying hysterically, I yell out, “I don’t want to leave you! Please don’t make me leave you! Don’t make me go!”
His eyes shine bright. Taking my face in his hands, he takes my mouth in a short possessive kiss. Releasing me, he shouts out, “Go with Boo!”
Reaching forward, I clutch his shirt, shaking, “Don’t make me go! I want to stay with you!”
His face turns pained. Pulling my clawing hands off him, he stands and says, “If you ever loved me, you’ll go with Boo.” Lowering my face, I burst into another bout of tears. He adds, “You have to trust me, Lily!”
Crying only a moment longer, I pull myself together. Straightening, I demand through gritted teeth, “You better come for me. You promised.” Not waiting for a response, I crawl back to Boo through the destruction.
She pushes me forward in front of her and yells, “Down the hall and out!”
Rock waits at the end of the hall, holding his arms out. Crawling fast on bleeding knees, I make it to him and he pulls me up. As soon as Boo gets within a foot of us, we’re out the front door. A black van waits there, side door open. Rock all but throws me inside, Boo follows, slamming the door shut. Rock climbs into the driver’s seat, starts the van, and drives.
And all I can think about is Nox.
Will he follow us to wherever I’m being taken? Where are we going? How long will I have to spend without him?
The van crosses the property line, and I look back out the rear window, silently saying goodbye to my second home and hoping I’ll see it again soon. We drive a minute longer when I see it.
Flashes of white, orange, and yellow swirling through the air hold my attention.
My mouth gapes as I watch in horror.
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM
The safe house endures one, then two, then three more roaring explosions, before being engulfed in flames.
My heart stops. Boo’s arm grips mine as we both watch the terrifying scene.
I don’t blink. I don’t breathe. I can’t think.
Suddenly, I ask distractedly, “He got out, right?” Boo’s hand tightens on my arm. I turn to her, looking down at her hand, and back up to her face. Breathing heavily, I ask again, “He got out, right?”
Her shocked face remains stoic.
Answer me!
Moving across the van, I bang on the divider and shout out, “Rock, turn around!”
Boo yells back, “Keep driving.”
Oh, thank God, she’s back. Kneeling on throbbing and bloodied knees, I crawl over to her and nod, “He got out, right?”
That’s when I see it.
The fear and devastation. It’s written all over her face.
And my chest squeezes. Slumping, I whisper, “He got out. He had to have gotten out.”
Boo’s eyes tear as she holds my unblinking stare. A tear trails down her cheek. Her mouth opens and shuts. Not able to speak, she shrugs weakly while shaking her head.
Anger builds in me and I say louder, “He got out, Boo. He did.”
Biting her lip, she closes her eyes, and begins to cry. Her shoulders jerk silently.
I stand in the back of the moving van. My anger overflowing, I shout at her, “He fucking got out, Boo!”
Her chin dips. Her body shakes in silent sobs. I watch her tears fall to the floor.
Falling to my knees in front of her, I state a little quieter, “He got out.” Reaching forward, she wraps her arms around my rigid body. I repeat, “He got out.” It sounds weaker this time. Her arms hugging me tightly, her body shakes against mine, and my voice shakes as I say feebly into her neck, “He did. He got out.”
My courage fades.
My nose tingles.
My voice trembles as I utter confusedly, “He can’t be gone. We have plans.”
Finding her voice, she mutters into my hair, “I’m so sorry, Deedee. So sorry.”
My arms hold her tightly, my hands gripping at her clothing. Sorrow slices through me like a knife. The sobs come hard and fast. “No. We have plans.” She clutches me to her. Crying hard, my body shakes as I wail, “He’s coming for me! He promised!”
Feeling weak, I whisper through shuddering breaths, “He promised, Boo. He swore.”
Let it go. It’s over.
A low, long, keening cry bursts out of my mouth. Not able to breathe, my body convulses in my weak state.
I’m numb.
Boo cries with me and holds me tight.
All the way to the hospital.
***
This hospital is different from others.
I’ve been to a hospital like this one before. It’s a private hospital. A small hospital.
It’s almost identical to the one I woke up in when I was taken as a child.
Upon arriving, Rock carried me in a bridal hold. He had to do this because I couldn’t stop the tears. And with tears comes weakness of the heart, and weakness of the body to match.
I remember being pricked in the arm, and suddenly everything was light and fluffy. And although I wanted to cry some more, my body refused. But I felt sleepy. They set me down in a wheelchair and rolled me to a room with a queen-sized bed. Rock helped me up onto it. Boo came forward and hugged me tightly before excusing herself, but Rock stayed with me until I fell asleep.
