Текст книги "Addicted for Now"

Автор книги: Becca Ritchie

Соавторы: Krista Ritchie
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Текущая страница: 31 (всего у книги 31 страниц)

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LOREN HALE

My father didn’t tell me Sara Hale was the leak to protect himself. Or me.

He was protecting Ryke.

While the news has devastated Ryke, I am freed by it. I can stop being so rooted in hate. Now I can try to be a better man than my father. I can breathe.

My fist raps a black door. No one stands beside me. No one’s here for me to lean on. I am alone with my own resolve, and maybe months ago that wouldn’t have been enough.

The door flies open and almost swings right back in my face. I brace the frame with a hand. “Hear me out,” I tell him.

Aaron Wells lets out an exasperated sigh, but he surrenders to my plea. “What do you want, Loren? I thought we already had this talk four months ago?” It’s been that long?

“This is a different talk.”

His eyes darken and he crosses his arms over his chest. “You’re not coming inside this time, and just so you know Julie isn’t home. So don’t try screaming for her either.”

“I don’t want to talk to Julie.”

“Then what do you want?” What do I want? Why do people always ask me that?

“You met me at a really bad time in my life, and you were just being nice by inviting me to your party.”

“And then you broke every wine bottle in my parent’s cellar. Yeah, I remember,” he says. “Is this your way of apologizing? Is this like Step 7 in AA or something? Do you have to go around and ask for forgiveness from everyone you screwed over?”

I shake my head. “It’s nothing like that. I’m not asking you to forgive me, and I can’t forgive you for what you did to Lily.” I want to, but maybe that type of strength is out of my control.

His jaw locks, and I sense that he’s about to slam the door back in my face. “But,” I say quickly, “one of us should have been the bigger person and stopped it before it got out of hand.”

“You mean before you and your father made sure I wouldn’t get accepted into an Ivy League,” he growls. “Thanks for that.”

“Look, you don’t have to be my friend or anything. You can hate me all you want, but I came here to tell you that I’m sorry.” The words are hard to produce, and I don’t feel exactly better by saying them. I’m not searching for that relief. I just know that this is right. And this is what I have to do. “I’m done,” I say. “Whatever shit we had in the past, it’s the past for me. You want to carry it around, fine. Regardless, I want you to have these.” I remove two white envelopes from my back pocket.

His eyes glaze over them with curiosity and then he snorts. “Are you buying my forgiveness with tickets to Wrigley Field?”

“You told me that you couldn’t get a job and compete with Ivy grads,” I say. “That should help start your career. Greg Calloway and my father wrote references for you. I know there’s lots of bad energy with the companies, but Fizzle and Hale Co. are still world-renowned. It still means something.”

Aaron stares at the letters and shakes his head. “I don’t want your fucking charity, especially if you’re only doing this to make yourself feel better.”

“I’m doing it because it’s right,” I say in irritation. “Burn it if you want. And I promise, you won’t ever have to see me again.”

I turn around and descend the stone steps. Lily waits in the car for me, tapping her hands to the dashboard and singing aloud to whatever song blares through the speakers. I immediately smile.

“Loren!”

I look back. Aaron’s face has softened into something less hateful. Almost like the first time I met him, when he was just that nice lacrosse kid inviting me to his party. “I’m sorry too,” he says.

Hearing the words are almost as hard as saying them. I see him terrorizing Lily for months, cornering her in the halls. I realize how difficult it must have been to listen to me say the same thing. My throat closes up before I can speak. So I just nod.

I set my sights on Lily again.

She is my past, my present, my future. So when I open the door and slide into the driver’s seat, I’m not surprised that it feels like I’m returning home.

* * *

My nerves rocket the closer we reach our house in Princeton. I can’t stop fidgeting, and Lily keeps giving me weird looks. I spout off some story about a new client for Halway Comics.

Our apartment feels abandoned when we walk inside.

“Rose!” Lily calls out. She doesn’t know that Rose is staying over Connor’s tonight, that I have specifically vacated this place for us.

“She must be working late,” I say.

“She works too much.” Lily heads to the kitchen. “Maybe we should cook her dinner…” She thinks about this, probably remembering she can’t cook. “Or order her dinner and bring it to her office? She’d like that.”

She would. If she were at her office.

“I’m sure Connor already had dinner delivered to her,” I say, hooking my fingers in her belt loops.

“True. He’s been spending more time with her lately, hasn’t he? I think he’s worried another Sebastian will Jedi mind-trick her.”

I’m surprised she’s not focusing on the fact that I’m tugging her into my chest. It’s becoming easier and easier to touch Lily without her jumping my bones like a wild animal. The horny, insane part of me will probably miss her crazy sex drive. But the part of me that loves her, the one that I choose to listen to, is so fucking proud of this girl.

“How about we call it a night?” I say and slip my hand down the back of her jeans.

She gasps a little and grabs onto my T-shirt. “Is that code for what position we’ll be taking?” she asks with a delighted smile.

“I don’t speak in code. You’ll know exactly what I want.” I squeeze her ass. “Me. You. Bedroom. Now.” My teeth catch her earlobe lightly, and her breath deepens. And then I press feather-light kisses on her neck. At the fourth one, she squirms with laughter.

“Okay! Okay! Okay!” She throws her hands up in surrender. “Do not tickle me with your kisses! That’s a dirty game.”

I can’t stop grinning.

She spins on her heels, and I follow her close up the stairs. She stops a couple times to check that I’m right behind her. The third time, I give her a look. “Do you think I’m going to disappear, love?”

“Maybe,” she says softly and then scampers the rest of the way.

She presses her back against the door, blocking our entry. I try to remain calm, but I know what’s behind those doors. And she unknowingly prolongs this process.

“I think I’m going to get fat off scones,” she tells me, relishing this fact.

“You’re supposed to sell the scones, not eat them.”

“Who made those rules?”

“Capitalists.”

She crinkles her nose. “I like my way better.”

I nod to the door. “You going in?”

“I’m trying something new,” she tells me. “Restraint.”

Jesus Christ. She has to choose tonight for her personal achievement? “Should we discuss donuts next?” I say jokingly.

She looks like she’s taking this into serious consideration, and I give in. I reach past her waist and turn the knob, opening the door behind her back.

Her eyes go big, and she still doesn’t turn around. “Are you testing me?”

I put my hands on her shoulders and walk her backwards, leading her slowly into our room. Step by step. Her eyes fix on mine until she looks down, obviously feeling something soft under her bare feet.

“What…”

Red petals decorate the bedroom floor while burning candles flicker on the dresser and nightstand. It’s simple and perfect. I drop to my knee.

Her hands press to her lips, and I see that gaudy ring on her hand glinting back at me. It represents coercion and deception, all the wrong reasons for a marriage that should be filled with love. We have lived through lies for too long. I’m ready for this to be honest, not another sham. I’m so ready for her to take it off. Her eyes have already welled with tears and I haven’t even spoken yet.

I pull out a small box from my pocket. Colorful and wrapped in comic book strips.

All my nerves seep out of me. I am filled with something else, something warm and pure that makes me never want to leave this moment.

“Lily Calloway, will you marry me, for real this time?”

I open the box, and a ruby cut into a heart sparkles back at her. Diamonds circle it.

“Yes!” She jumps a little, tears seeping out of the corners of her eyes. I rise to my feet, and with one kiss, I have her planted firmly back on Earth. She tangles her fingers in my hair and lets me deepen the kiss.

When I part from her, she begins yanking at her gaudy ring. She gets wild-eyed. “Lo, it’s not coming off,” she panics. “It’s not coming off!”

“Calm down,” I coax. I test it out, but it’s tight around her swollen finger. Maybe she is gaining some weight. I kiss her temple and take her hand in mine, leading her to the bathroom. We spend a couple of minutes soaking her finger in soap before the ring comes loose and clinks on the counter.

What if my ring doesn’t fit her?

She reaches for the box, and I grab it from her. “Let me,” I say.

She holds out her hand. The ring slides effortlessly, the leftover soap on her finger probably helping. She appraises the ruby and the band for a long moment. “I love it, Lo.” Her eyes twinkle as they meet mine. “I love you more.”

After all we’ve been through. Years and years of mistakes, it feels like a dream to be here in this moment. Right now. Sober. Alive. With her.

I pull her to me, and I lean in for a kiss. Her hand instinctively raises and slides across the back of my shoulders. When we break apart, I rest my forehead to hers. Our breaths mingle and I say, “I have another proposal. Or…more like a confession.”

“Is it bad?” she whispers.

“Terrible.”

She doesn’t pull away from our closeness and her eyes flit to my lips. “I can handle it.”

“I don’t know about that.”

Her lips twitch as she recognizes the tone of my voice. Oh, how I do love teasing her.

I nudge my nose with hers before my lips find her ear. I nip it softly before I say, “I confess, that I’d very much like to make love to you.” My heart does a dance at the last words. We never say make love. We fuck. We screw. We bang. Making love is for the soft-hearted without tar-coated pasts. Lily claims she doesn’t deserve to make love, but I’m determined to change her attitude.

“Is it different than fucking?” she asks me with wide eyes.

“Very much so.”

Frown lines crease her forehead. “How?”

“I’ll show you.”

Her eyes brighten with possibilities, but she doesn’t insist, doesn’t ask or compel me for more. She waits for me.

Just as I asked.