Текст книги "Disgraced"

Автор книги: Annabel Chant

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    Five

Him

 

The next morning, I was taken back into the interview room. Giles was in there, waiting for me, along with my new best friend, DI Brown.

‘Good news, Filth Monger.’ She sounded thoroughly pissed off. ‘You’re free to go.’

‘Am I?’ I shot a look at Giles, who nodded.

‘Your incredulity speaks volumes,’ she said, with her by-now signature raised eyebrow. ‘Don’t go anywhere we can’t find you. We’ll be needing to speak to you again.’

The officer by the door opened it and Giles exited. I went to follow him but, as I got to the door, she called me back. ‘Oh, and Mr Fforbes?’

‘Yes.’ I turned to look at her, loathing for her coursing through every part of me.

‘Don’t think this means you’re off the hook. We just haven’t got the evidence yet.’

I shook my head and left the room without a word.

Giles was waiting outside. ‘I’ll drive you home,’ he said. ‘Where are you going? The hotel or the Castle?’

‘The hotel.’

I needed to gather my thoughts. There was something nasty in the woodshed, that much was all too apparent, and I needed to figure out what the hell it was.

‘So what changed?’ I said, as we drove away from the police station and towards my home turf of Knightsbridge.

‘Forensics came in.’

We’d pulled up at a set of traffic lights and Giles took the chance to reach into the back of the car. When he turned back to me, he had a newspaper in his hand. He passed it to me. ‘There was so much DNA everywhere, they did a rush job – it could’ve been any number of people.’

‘I can imagine,’ I said. In her line of work, it wasn’t surprising. I’d have laid money on it that it was all semen. ‘But I was their prime suspect.’

‘Until they took the blood from under her fingernails.’ He lit a cigarette. ‘It wasn’t a match – different group entirely. Incidentally, you might want to look at that.’ He indicated the paper, as he pulled away, back into the traffic.

I lifted it up, spreading out the front page to read it, and my heart sank. The main headline read:

FFORBES THE FILTH MONGER

I rolled my eyes. It was always bound to come out in the end. I cursed myself, once again, for ever having those business cards printed, but it wasn’t the headline about me that had made my heart sink. It was the one beneath it:

I LOVE LEO AND JUST WANT HIM BACK

…together with a photo of Grace looking the worse for wear and hanging onto her friend’s arm. Liv, the same friend who’d led her from the bank, that very first day. The friend who’d found me so amusing last time I’d visited Max at Ffyvells.

It was like stepping back in time, seeing her that way again. But this time, instead of pitying her and wanting to protect her, I just felt empty inside. Granted, a lot had happened since, but it was really only a day since she’d told me she loved me. Could her feelings change that quickly? Could I matter so little to her? Evidently I could, and I stared out at the shops of Knightsbridge, cursing Charlotte, cursing Grace and, most of all, cursing myself.

I barely managed a nod at the receptionists, as I entered the hotel, and headed up to my penthouse in a daze. Once inside, I kicked off my shoes, threw my jacket over a chair, and went into the bedroom. I lay on the bed, to read the article properly.

She’d been crying, it said, and I felt a pang of guilt. I remembered her face as I left, so shocked after the happiness that had illuminated it just moments before, and I knew I was the cause. Christ, the girl had the world at her feet at the moment. The last thing she needed was to get caught up in my shit.

She’d clearly realised as much. Maybe going back to Leo Sparkes seemed a better idea. I wasn’t convinced she was right about that, but I knew she was right about me. I was chaos clothed in a catastrophe – had been ever since Charlotte had got her claws into me – and best kept at a safe distance. I had to stop being selfish, and think of her. I could ruin her career before it ever took off.

I was glad, at least, that she had that. The thought of her working for Max forever made me grit my teeth. At least she had an escape, and I couldn’t spoil that for her. If I truly loved her, I had to keep away from her, and let her find happiness with someone more stable, even if that meant Leo Sparkes.

The mere thought made me want to punch the pillow. Stable? What was I thinking? Fuck, he’d let himself into her mate’s house and physically assaulted her. Clearly he loved her – that was beyond question – but to fuck another woman behind her back, then attack her because she left him, didn’t suggest he’d make her any happier than I could. I didn’t know what to think. Should I go to her? Plead my case? Or just leave it? I couldn’t be constantly looking out for her, dictating her movements, but I wondered how safe she’d be if I left her to make her own choice.

My thoughts were all over the place, going round in circles and, in the end, I couldn’t face thinking about it anymore. She’d made her decision, apparently, and it was just a matter of time before they got back together, whatever I wanted. In her eyes, I was convicted already. If I had any chance of winning her back, I had to prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that I was innocent. But how?

I mentally ran through all that had happened in the past week or so. It all added up, and yet it didn’t. Everything seemed clear cut but the results. How had I come to be arrested over Charlotte’s murder? Who the hell had killed her? Why did I smell a fucking six-foot, blond haired rat?

I played over events in my head. Something wasn’t right. Something was so not right, it was practically left. I should’ve known what it was, I was sure. I’d voice some of my concerns to Giles, but they were pure conjecture. I’d been sure at first it was Rick, but it couldn’t have been. Charlotte had been killed only two nights before, and Rick was…not around…to do it.

I couldn’t focus properly to think straight, that was the problem. The bed in the cell had been hard, the cell itself cold, yet suffocating. I’d hardly slept a wink and now, on my own bed, in my own bedroom, I was suddenly ridiculously tired. In the end, I gave up thinking entirely, and surrendered to a deep, if troubled, sleep.

    Six

Her

In the end, I had the car stop by the bank before I went on to the photo shoot. I was feeling lousy, but not as bad as I’d been expecting. I’d slept through from when Liv had put me to bed, and woken early, so I’d had time to sort myself out.

Max was in his office when I arrived, reading the paper. He looked up when I knocked at his door.

‘Grace,’ he said, brandishing the paper. ‘I did warn you, didn’t I?’

I took it from him, flushing as I read the headline.

‘I take it you haven’t seen it, then,’ he said. ‘My esteemed friend has been up to his tricks again.’

My horrified face must have answered his question, because he carried on. ‘I think you’ll find the rest of the page interesting, too.’

I scanned down to the bottom, and immediately felt sick. ‘Oh, god, Max. I’m sorry.’

‘You’re drawing far too much attention to yourself,’ he said, coolly. ‘I don’t need the constant calls from the press. It’s getting out of hand.’

‘I’m sorry, Max.’ I took a deep breath. ‘I need to ask you a favour.’

He looked distinctly unimpressed. ‘Which is?’

‘I…have somewhere I need to be today.’

‘And it’s more important than being here?’

I stared at him, not knowing how to answer.

‘Fair enough,’ he said, standing up to see me out. ‘But Grace?’

‘Yes?’

‘I think it’s time you started to sort yourself out.’ He followed me to the door. ‘Lower your profile and knuckle down. This team can’t take passengers.’

I was still on the way to the photo shoot, Max’s words ringing in my ears, when I received a call from a number I didn’t recognise. I answered, and I didn’t recognise the voice either.

‘Grace?’ It was a woman’s voice, young. She spoke quickly, as if she were busy and didn’t have much time. ‘It’s Summer. Sam’s PA.’

  Sam was Leo’s manager, and I immediately panicked. ‘What’s the matter? Is something wrong with Leo?’

‘I don’t know, Grace. He won’t speak to me.’ She sounded worried, and her words did nothing to soothe my own anxiety. ‘He didn’t come to training over the weekend. I’ve just been round to see him and he’s in a right state. Dishevelled…bruised… He says he was beaten up.’

I froze in my seat. Beaten up. I suddenly remembered Nathaniel’s words when I’d told him about Leo, and what had happened at Liv’s. It’s sorted, I’d said. It is, he’d replied. Phil’s face came back to me – the guy from the F Bar. He’d looked terrified. God, what had I got myself into? It had all rebounded, not on me, but on Leo.

‘I saw yesterday’s paper,’ she continued. ‘And I thought, maybe, you’d go round and see him. I left the paper with him. I thought it might give him something to focus on. He’s lost without you, Grace.’

‘I…’

‘I know what he did,’ she said, not allowing me to speak. ‘But he’s sorry, I promise you. I…really need to get this sorted. He’s going to miss out on a transfer at this rate, and he won’t be welcome back at the club.’

She paused, finally, and I gave a sigh. ‘All right,’ I said, reluctantly. ‘I’ll go round there later today.’

I hardly noticed the photo shoot itself after that. I kept thinking of what’d happened yesterday, from Nathaniel’s arrest to my drunken declarations of love for Leo at the pub, and just wanted to put my head in my hands. I couldn’t because I had to keep it still, while a succession of make-up artists pawed at my face as if I wasn’t even there.

The whole experience was different to the interview on Saturday Siesta. I didn’t have to do anything. Everything was done to me. My skin was carefully cleansed and purified, then coated with various serums and creams. After that, concealer and foundation was applied, layer upon layer, to blank out any and all blemishes, until I felt my face had become a mask, devoid of all character.

Then it was contoured – in stages, each of which seemed take hours – and the rest of the make-up was applied. A girl called Kristi did this part, and she didn’t stop chattering. I didn’t even hear her – she must’ve thought I was so rude, but I just couldn’t concentrate. My heart was pounding and I could feel the blood rushing in my ears. It was the sitting still. I needed to be doing something…anything…and I couldn’t cope with just sitting there. By the time it was finished, I felt like running out the door but, the truth was, I had no idea where I’d go. It was as if I wanted to run away from myself but, at that moment, I was put in front of the camera, my face blank, my body wired.

Even in front of the camera, I had little to do. I didn’t even have to smile, which was probably just as well. I was so agitated, not to mention worried about Leo, and kept wondering whether I’d meant what I’d said to Liv the previous afternoon. Did I still love him? Did I want him back?

Whatever, I didn’t want his whole career to crash and burn because of me. As the cameras flashed around me, the last few days played over in my head. How could Nathaniel beat him up, without even consulting me? It was just another mark of his arrogance. People meant nothing to him. The way he’d so callously killed those women testified to that. And he’d even smiled at me as the police took him away. Was he proud of himself? Was he pleased with what he’d done to Leo? Had he done it in my name?

Although my face was the centre of attention, my thoughts were a million miles away, and I kept staring at nothing.

‘That’s perfect, Grace,’ said the photographer, in between shots. ‘You’re a natural. Hold that pose.’

Perfect. I wanted to tell her nothing was perfect. I wasn’t a natural. I was just in my own world, and everything there was crap. Nathaniel was truly a filth monger, Leo had been beaten up at his hands and, just for good measure, Max was going to throw a fit. Lower your profile, he’d said. I’d nodded and gone straight to a photo shoot.

I was glad when the whole thing was over. I got in the car and gave the driver Leo’s address.

    Seven

Him

I’d called a meeting of my innermost circle for that afternoon. Matt arrived first, hugging me briefly as he entered the flat.

‘Glad you’re out,’ he said. ‘I take it everything’s sorted.’

‘Not really,’ I said. ‘They’ll still pin this on me if they can and, if they can’t, they’ll try for Aimee.’

Matt didn’t say anything, just shook his head looking pissed off.

Ronnie arrived next, with Alex. He was bearing up well since coming out of hospital. You’d hardly have known he’d been stabbed just a few days previously. He’d come back to work on the Saturday night, despite my insistence he get well before returning. I’d been annoyed at first, but then glad. I’d known Grace’s fantasy would be safe in his hands. He’d been my right-hand man for years, and for good reason.

Lionel arrived last. He wasn’t one of my usual confidantes but, in his capacity as family lawyer, his advice might be crucial to how we’d proceed from hereon in. I needed people around me I could trust now, and with his arrival the circle was complete.

I went out to the kitchen to make coffee and, as I did so, my phone rang. It was Felicity Flint, for fuck’s sake. What the hell did she want now?

I let it ring and made the coffee. I’d phone her back later. If it was more about how in love she was with the guy she’d met, I could do without it at the present time. I was glad someone’s life was going to plan, but I was more concerned with trying to rein in my own, and I didn’t need to hear it at the moment.

I thrust the phone into my pocket and took the coffees out into the living room.

‘How are you, my love?’ Ronnie was standing at the door, her face anxious. ‘I didn’t hear from you but, with things how they are, I didn’t know if you wanted it that way.’

I knew she meant the divorce, but I’d thought she’d realise it didn’t change anything. It was only finalising what had happened years before. ‘I’m okay,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry, Ronnie. I needed some time. I should’ve called.’

She didn’t say anything else and we sat down. My phone rang again and I took it out and glanced at it briefly. Felicity again. I put it away, letting it ring out. Whatever it was would have to wait. This was more important.

‘Okay,’ I said, sitting on the arm of a sofa. ‘We all know why we’re here. We need to come up with some sort of course of action. I don’t know what the fuck’s going on, but we’ve got to find out or everything’s going to fall apart. It won’t be long before the law’s sniffing around the Castle, and we all know what that’ll mean.’

Ronnie let out a gasp. I could tell it hadn’t occurred to her that our lives would be placed under the microscope, but it’d been obvious to me from the start. The police were investigating me, and the Castle and I were inextricably linked. It’d only take questioning the wrong person for everything to come out in a heartbeat. My thoughts went immediately to my parents. I couldn’t bear the idea of them questioning my mother – even though they’d be unlikely to get any sense out of her – and the very idea of them interviewing my father was enough to make me wince, although for very different reasons.

I could see similar thoughts were going through the minds of the others. Only Lionel sat calm and impassive. Ronnie was pacing the room, the skirt of her usual fifties-style dress swinging out around her each time she turned. Matt had paled visibly and Alex had sweat standing out on his brow. I wondered how much of it was due to anxiety and how much due to his injury. That they were all so stressed out on my account made me feel guilty and I decided to get the meeting over and done with as soon as possible.

‘There’s things that don’t add up,’ I said. ‘But I can’t for the life of me see what it is I’m missing. We need to talk things through right from the start.’

‘And where’s that?’ said Ronnie. ‘I mean, where do we even begin?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘But nothing’s been right since the Felicity Flint incident.’

I must’ve had Felicity on my mind after her calls because, really, it’d begun even before that, with Charlotte. Once I’d mentioned her name, though, my thoughts returned to her recent flurry of calls. It suddenly struck me that they might – just might – have some bearing on our current situation.

‘Excuse me for a moment,’ I said, getting up. ‘I have to make a call.’

I went into the kitchen and dialled her number. It had barely rung when she answered.

‘Filth Monger?’ she said, breathlessly. She was sobbing and sounded almost hysterical. ‘Is that you?’

‘It’s me,’ I said, a chill stealing over me. I was suddenly sure my hunch had been correct. ‘Calm down, sweetheart, and tell me what’s wrong.’

The next words out of her mouth turned everything I’d thought I’d known on its head.

    Eight

Her

I read the paper Max had given me on the way to the flat. It told the whole sordid story. The other woman, Christine Fielding had been a call-girl. I didn’t know why it surprised me, but it did. Considering the organisation he ran, I suppose I should’ve expected him to have dealings with prostitutes but, for some reason, it just didn’t seem to fit. He’d seemed more honourable that that. I actually laughed aloud as I thought it. Honourable? He’d murdered her in cold blood. I shivered again at my lucky escape.

My laugh caught the attention of the driver.

‘What’s that you’re reading?’

I held up the paper.

‘Ooh, yes…nasty business.’ He shook his head. ‘Just shows you…all that money and…’

He tailed off for a moment, before speaking again. ‘Mind you – he’s out now, isn’t he?’

‘Is he?’ I felt my heart begin to race.

‘Yeah.’ He looked at me in his rear-view mirror. ‘It was on the radio. They’re working on some new leads. Papers…out of date even as they print them. No wonder the internet’s so popular. Mind you, I liked that story about you underneath…very sweet.’

Sweet? It was excruciating. And Nathaniel had been released.

The driver carried on talking, first about me then, when I didn’t answer, about the many and varied iniquities of the rich. I hardly heard him. Nathaniel was out. Did that mean he was innocent, or had he bought his way out? Was I safe with him walking the streets, or should I be taking precautions? I was relieved when the driver pulled up outside the flat. Leo would be there – I’d be safe.

There was no answer when I rang the buzzer, and I didn’t have my key. In the end, I had Frank, the concierge, let me in. I walked tentatively through the hall into the living room and looked around. It was an eerie feeling, being back after what seemed by now to be months, with everything that had happened, but was really only weeks. The place had gone to ruin in the time I’d been away. Leo had never been able to look after himself and now the flat looked like a riot had taken place.

Maybe it had – or a fight, at least. I wondered if this was where he’d been beaten up. It looked as if it might’ve been. The furniture was out of place, the surfaces covered with used crockery and beer cans. There was even a basket load of laundry scattered across the kitchen floor. It was clean, so at least he’d been taking some care of himself, but still wet. I bent down to pick it up.

As I was hanging it out on the airer, he came into the kitchen. He must have been upstairs, but I hadn’t heard him come down.

‘Oh,’ he said. ‘It’s you. What the hell are you doing here?’

I was taken aback by his attitude. He didn’t sound angry, more horrified.

‘I…came to see you,’ I said, standing up. ‘Summer called me.’

I looked at him. He looked worn out. He had a black eye and several deep gouges to his face, and his hair was greasy, plastered down to his head. ‘My God,’ I said, trying to keep the shock out of my voice. ‘What happened?’

‘As if you don’t know,’ he said, his voice tinged with sarcasm. ‘So who sent in the heavies?’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I said, hearing the quaver in my voice as I did so. ‘Who did it?’

He picked up a newspaper from the side. ‘I was reading this earlier,’ he said, showing me the front cover. It was the one I’d just been reading in the car. ‘What’s it all about?’

I remembered Summer saying she’d given a copy to him, but it hadn’t occurred to me until then that Nathaniel’s picture was on the front page. I felt my heart racing again. If he’d really beaten him up, he’d recognise his face straight away, and link it to me.

‘What’s what about?’ I said, stalling for time. I didn’t know how to answer him, without implicating myself.

‘All this.’ He pointed to the bottom of the front page. ‘One minute I have people at my door, warning me to stay away from you. The next minute you’re telling the world and his wife that you love me. So, which is it?’

I didn’t answer. I didn’t know how to. I still didn’t know how I felt. I’d been drunk but, sometimes, that was when the truth came out. Maybe I did still love him. In fact, I did. I couldn’t bear the thought of him wallowing in his own filth like this. He needed me. But if he found out what had happened between me and Nathaniel, he’d flip.

‘So…who were they?’ he said, coming closer. ‘The guys who warned me off you?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said, stepping back from him, without even realising it. ‘I didn’t know anything about it.’

He seemed to accept this. ‘Probably someone behind the scenes,’ he said, throwing the paper down. ‘Quite the little celebrity now, aren’t we?’

I gave a shrug. ‘It’s nothing,’ I said. ‘It’ll all be over tomorrow, I daresay.’

‘It might not be such a bad thing,’ he said, walking slowly into the front room. ‘For our future.’

‘You’re limping,’ I said, trying to change the subject. ‘Was that when…?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘They made a proper job of it. Threw me down the stairs.’

‘Is that why you haven’t been to training?’

He gave a noncommittal shrug. ‘Maybe.’ He turned to me. ‘Look, Grace. All that business…Hull. It’s over with now. It’ll never rear its head again, I promise. If we get back together, everything’ll work out. I’ll get the transfer. You’ll have your…thing…whatever it is.’

‘My career,’ I said, bridling.

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘That. We’ll be a golden couple again.’

‘I know we seemed like it,’ I said. ‘But I don’t think we ever were a golden couple…not really.’

‘We were.’ He limped over to me, and took me in his arms, holding my face against his warm chest. ‘You’ve just forgotten, what with everything.’

He was probably right. I’d certainly been devastated when we’d split up. I’d felt he’d destroyed something special, that I’d never find again. Even so, wrapped in his lean, strong arms, I felt nothing. In Nathaniel’s embrace I’d been overwhelmed to the point that I’d wanted to melt into him, to be consumed by him so our cells were entwined for eternity.

I pulled away from him, not knowing what to say, but unable to bear his proximity a moment longer.

‘Grace?’ He turned my face up to his and looked into my eyes. ‘God, you’re beautiful.’

‘It’s not me,’ I said, turning my face away. ‘It’s make-up…there was a photo shoot.’

‘You’re always beautiful to me,’ he said, putting his hand to my cheek and turning my face up to him again. He stared at me, his brown eyes searching and desperate. ‘What d’you say? Let’s try again.’

I looked away again, not wanting to anger him when he seemed so on edge already. ‘Let me think about it,’ I said. ‘Get back to training, okay? Sort this mess out, and maybe I’ll come back.’

‘You mean it?’

‘I mean it,’ I said. ‘Do it for me.’

‘How do I know you’re not just saying it?’

I shrugged. ‘You’ll just have to take that chance.’

‘Okay,’ he said, sounding reluctant. ‘But don’t take forever, thinking. I’ve waited long enough already.’

I called a taxi soon after and left. I’d hated lying to him, but I had to, for his own sake. He couldn’t let everything he’d worked for slip out of his grasp just over me. He had to sort himself out. I couldn’t do it for him, because I couldn’t get back with him, I knew that now. But I couldn’t tell him, not there and then. I had a strong sense that it would’ve tipped him over the edge, and I couldn’t face the thought of another scene like the one at Liv’s.

Even if, by some miracle, he’d accepted my refusal, I was sure he’d have slipped further into whatever depression was gripping him. I had to give him something to fight for, and if that was me, so be it. At least I’d given him hope – a chance to sort himself out – and, maybe, that was all he needed.

That thought brought back Ronnie’s words of the previous morning; Sometimes you have to take a chance on the people you love. It was only when I’d been in Leo’s arms that it had hit me. Rightly or wrongly, danger or no, I was irrevocably in love with my Filth Monger. But, with everything that had happened – the police, the murder accusations, the desire to tie me up – was I ready to take a chance on him?

I just didn’t know.