Текст книги "Fallen Too Far"

Автор книги: Abbi Glines

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 12 страниц)

              I rolled over and curled up into a ball. Maybe I wouldn’t be wearing this dress again. It now held even more sad memories. It was time I packed it away for good. Tonight though, I’d sleep in it. This would be my farewell to a dream. The one where I was enough for some guy to want.

Chapter Eight

              The house was once again a wreck when I woke up the next morning. This time I left the mess and hurried to work. I didn’t want to be late. I needed this job now more than anything else. My dad had yet to call to check on me and I was pretty sure Rush hadn’t spoken with his mother or my father because he hadn’t mentioned it. I didn’t want to ask him because I didn’t want his anger at my father to be directed at me.

              There was already a good chance that Rush would be asking me to leave when I got back to his house today. He hadn’t seemed real happy with me when he’d stormed out of my room last night. And I’d kissed him back and sucked on his lip. Oh God what had I been thinking? I hadn’t been thinking. That was the problem. Rush had smelled too good and tasted too good. I hadn’t been able to control myself. Now, there was a good chance I would find my bags on the porch when I got home. At least, I had money to stay in a motel.

              Dressed in my shorts and polo I made my way up the office steps to the front door. I needed to clock in and get a key to the beverage cart.

              Darla was already inside. I was beginning to think she lived here. She was here when I left and when I arrived every day. Her small whirlwind personality was scary though. You almost wanted to salute her when she barked orders at you. She was frowning up at a girl I hadn’t seen before. She was pointing her finger and almost yelling.

              “You can’t consort with the members. That is the first rule. You signed the papers Bethann; you know the rules. Mister Woods came in here early this morning letting me know that his father wasn’t happy with this turn of events. I only have three cart girls. If I can’t trust you to stop sleeping with the members then I have to let you go. This is your last warning. Do you understand me?”

              The girl nodded. “Yes, Aunt Darla. I’m sorry,” she murmured. Her long dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her baby blue polo showcased a very large chest. Then there were her long tanned legs and round butt. And she was Darla’s niece. Interesting.

              Darla’s angry gaze shifted to mine and she let out a relieved sigh. “Oh good, Blaire you’re here. Maybe you can do something with this niece of mine. She’s on probation because she can’t seem to stop screwing the members while she’s on the clock. We aren’t a brothel. We are a country club. I’m going to have her ride with you for the next week and you are to watch her closely. She’s going to learn from you. Mister Woods sings your praises. He is very pleased with the job you’re doing and asked me to allow you to work in the dining room at least two days a week. I’m now looking for another cart girl, so I can’t afford to fire Bethann.” She said her niece’s name with a growl and glared back at her.

              The girl hung her head in shame. I felt sorry for her. I was terrified of upsetting Darla. I couldn’t imagine being yelled at like that.

              “Yes, ma’am,” I replied as she held out the cart keys for me. I took them and waited for Bethann to move toward me.

              “Go on with her now, girl. Don’t stand here and pout. I should call your daddy and tell him what you’re doing but I don’t have it in my to break my brother’s heart. So go out there and get some morals.” Darla pointed to the door and I didn’t wait around any longer. I hurried out the door and down the steps. I’d go get the drink cart ready and wait on Bethann there.

              “Hey, wait up,” the girl called from behind me. I stopped and looked back at her as she ran to catch up. “Sorry, that was brutal in there. I wish you hadn’t seen or heard it.”

              She was… nice. “That’s okay,” I replied.

              “I go by Bethy by the way. Not Bethann. That’s just what my dad calls me so my Aunt Darla does too. And you’re the infamous Blaire Wynn I’ve heard so much about.” The smile in her voice told me she wasn’t being mean.

              “I’m sorry if your aunt has shoved me down your throat.” I cut my eyes over at her and her bright red plump lips curved into a smile.

              “Oh, I wasn’t talking about my aunt. I was talking about the guys. Woods especially likes you a lot. I hear that you caused a little stir last night at that bitch Nan’s birthday party. Wish I could have seen that but the hired help doesn’t get invites to those things.”

              I loaded the cart while Bethy stood there watching me. She was twirling a lock of her long brown hair around her finger and smiling at me. “So, you’re my only in. Tell me all about it.”

              There wasn’t much to tell. I shrugged and walked over to get into the driver’s side once I had the cart loaded. “I went to the party because I’m sleeping under the stairs at Rush’s until I have enough money to move out which should be real soon. It was a mistake. He didn’t like me showing up. That’s about it.”

              Bethy plopped down on the seat beside me and crossed her legs. “That is not at all what I heard. Jace said that Rush saw Woods touching you and went ape shit.”

              “Jace misunderstood. Trust me. Rush doesn’t care who touches me.”

              Bethy sighed, “It sucks being the poor folks, doesn’t it? The hotties never look at us seriously. We’re just another fuck.”

              Was that really the way it was for her? Had she just given in and become the girl they tossed aside? She was too pretty for that. Guys back home would drool at her feet. They might not have millions in the bank but they were good guys from good families.

              “Aren’t there any attractive guys who aren’t filthy rich around? The crowd that comes here can’t be all there is to choose from. Surely you can find a guy who doesn’t cast you aside the next morning.”

              Bethy frowned and shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to bag a millionaire, ya know? Live the good life. But I’m beginning to see that isn’t in the cards for me.”

              I made my way to the first hole. “Bethy, you’re beautiful. You deserve more than what you’re getting. Start shopping for a man somewhere else. Find one that doesn’t want you for sex. Find one that wants you. Just you.”

              “Well hell, I may have just fallen in love with you too,” she replied teasingly and laughed. She propped her feet up on the dash as I pulled up to the first golfers of the morning.

              I didn’t see a younger guy anywhere. They typically weren’t early morning risers. For a little while I wouldn’t have to worry about keeping Bethy from doing the nasty in the bushes or wherever it was she was doing it while working.

              Four hours later, when we pulled up to the third hole for the third time I recognized Woods and company. Bethy sat up straight in her seat and the excited expression on her face put me on high alert. She was like a little puppy dog waiting for someone to throw her a bone. If I didn’t like her so much I wouldn’t even bother helping her keep this job. Being her babysitter wasn’t in my job description.

              Woods frowned when we pulled up beside them. “Why are you driving Bethy around?” he asked the moment we came to a complete stop.

              “’Cause she’s helping me keep from fucking your friends and pissing you off. Why’d you go and tell Aunt Darla?” she pouted, crossing her arms over her bountiful chest. I had no doubt every guy standing around us was zeroed in on those big knockers of hers.

              “I didn’t ask her to do that. I asked that she promote Blaire not stick her with you,” he snapped and pulled his phone from his pocket. What was he doing?

              “Who are you calling?” Bethy asked in a panicked tone sitting up straight.

              “Darla,” he snarled.

              “No wait,” Bethy and I said at the exact same time.

              “Don’t call her. I’m fine. I like Bethy. She’s good company,” I assured him.

              He studied me a moment but didn’t hang up the phone.

              “Darla, it’s Woods. I’ve changed my mind. I want Blaire inside four days a week. You can use her on the course on Fridays and Saturdays since it is so busy and she is the best you have but the rest of the time I want her inside.” He didn’t wait for a response before ending the call and dropping it back into the pocket of his starched plaid shorts. On anyone else those looked ridiculous but a guy like Woods could pull them off. The white polo shirt he was wearing was also immaculately pressed. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was brand new.

              “Aunt Darla is gonna be mad. She has Blaire babysitting me for the next couple weeks. Who will keep me in check now?” she asked casting her sultry gaze toward Jace.

              “Please man, if you like me even a little, turn your head and let me take her back to the club house for just a few minutes. Please,” Jace begged as he drank in the sight of Bethy sitting there with her legs up on the dash slightly open so that her crotch was in full view. The shorts we wore were too short and tight to leave a whole lot to the imagination in a position like that.

              “I don’t care what the hell you do. Fuck her if you want. But if dad gets wind of it again I’ll have to fire her. He’s pissed about the complaints.”

              I knew Jace wouldn’t stand up for her if she was fired. He’d let her go and move on. There was no love in his gaze only lust.

              “Bethy, don’t,” I pleaded quietly beside her. “On my night off, you and I will go out and we’ll find some place where there are guys worth your time. Just don’t lose your job over him,” I was talking so quietly only Bethy could hear me. The others knew I was saying something to her but they didn’t know what.

              Bethy turned her gaze to me and pulled her knees together. “Really? You’d go out with me and look for guys? On my turf?”

              I nodded and a smile broke across her face. “Deal. We’re going honky-tonking. I hope you own some boots.”

              “I’m from Alabama. I own boots, tight jeans and a gun,” I replied with a wink.

              She cackled with laughter and put her feet down. “Okay boys what do you want to drink? We have another hole to get too,” she said stepping out of the cart and walking to the back. I followed her and we handed out drinks and took money.

              Jace tried to grab her butt a few times and whisper in her ear. She finally turned around and smiled at him. “I’m done being your fuck buddy. I’m going out with my girl here this weekend and we’re going to find us some real men. The kind that don’t have a trust fund but have calluses on their hands from good hard work. I’ve got a feeling they know how to make a girl feel real special.”

              I had to swallow the laugh that bubble up inside my chest at Jace’s shocked expression. I turned on the cart as Bethy jumped back in beside me.

              “Damn, that felt good. Where have you been all my life?” she asked clapping her hands as I drove off smiling and waving at Woods as we headed to the next hole.

              We made it through the rest of the course then stopped to restock. No more issues. I knew we might see Woods and his friends again but I had faith in Bethy to stand firm. Bethy had chatted happily about everything from her hair color to the last pregnancy scare they’d had in town with a worker and a member.

              I wasn’t paying attention to the members at the first hole. I was driving and trying to concentrate on Bethy’s endless chatter. Bethy’s muttered “crap” caught my attention.

              I glanced at her and then followed her gaze to the couple on the first hole. Rush was instantly recognizable. The tan shorts he wore and snug pale blue polo shirt looked so out of place on him. It didn’t fit with the tattoos I knew covered his back. He was a rocker’s son and that bled through on him even with preppy golfers clothing on his body. He turned his head and his eyes met mine. He didn’t smile. He just looked away as if he didn’t know me. No acknowledgement. Nothing.

              “Bitch alert,” Bethy whispered. I shifted my gaze from him to the girl with him. Nanette, or Nan as he referred to her. His sister.  The one he didn’t like talking about. She was wearing a tiny white skirt that looked like she was ready to go play tennis. She had on a matching blue polo and a white sun visor sat atop her strawberry blond locks.

              “You aren’t a fan of Nannette?” I asked already knowing the answer from her comment.

              Bethy let out a short laugh. “Uh, no. And neither are you. You’re enemy number one for her.”

              What was that supposed to mean? I couldn’t ask her because we had stopped just six feet from the tee and the brother and sister combo.

              I didn’t try to make eye contact with Rush again. He apparently didn’t want to make small talk.

              “You’re kidding me. Woods hired her?” Nan hissed.

              “Don’t,” Rush replied in a warning tone. I wasn’t sure if he was protecting her or me or just trying to stop a scene. Either way it annoyed me.

              “Can I get y’all a drink?” I asked with the same smile I bestowed on every other member when I asked this question.

              “At least she knows her place,” Nan said with an amused snide tone.

              “I’ll take a Corona. Lime, please,” Rush said.

              I chanced a glance his way and his eyes met mine only briefly before he turned to Nan. “Get a drink. It’s hot,” he told her.

              She smirked at me and placed a well-manicured hand on her hip. “Sparkling water. Wipe it off though because I hate the way it comes out all wet from the water.”

              Bethy reached into the cooler and got out the water. I guess she was afraid I might hurl it at Nan’s head. “Haven’t seen you out here lately, Nan,” Bethy said as she wiped off the bottle with the towel we were supplied for this reason.

              “Probably because you’re too busy in the bushes with God knows who spreading your legs instead of working,” Nan replied.

              I clenched my teeth and popped the top off Rush’s Corona. I wanted to throw the drink in Nan’s smug face.

              “That’s enough, Nan,” Rush scolded her lightly. What was she his damn kid? He was acting like she was five. She was an adult for crying out loud.

              I handed Rush the Corona careful not to look at Nan. I was afraid I might have a moment of weakness. Instead, my eyes met his as he took the bottle.

              “Thanks,” he said and slipped a bill into my pocket. I didn’t have time to react before he was stepping away taking Nan by the elbow. “Come on and show me how you still can’t kick my ass out here,” he said in a teasing tone.

              Nan nudged his arm with her shoulder. “You’re going down.” The sincere fondness in her voice as she spoke to him surprised me. I couldn’t imagine someone as mean as she appeared, to be nice to anyone.

              “Let’s go,” Bethy hissed, grabbing my arm. I realized I’d been standing there watching them.

              I nodded and started to turn when Rush glanced back over his shoulder toward me. A small smile touched his lips and then he was looking at Nan again telling her which club to use. Our moment was over. If that even was a moment.

              Once we were out of earshot I looked at Bethy. “Why did you say that about me being enemy number one?”

              Bethy squirmed in her seat. “Honestly, I don’t know exactly. But Nan is possessive of Rush. Everyone knows that…” she trailed off and she wouldn’t make eye contact with me. She knew something but what did she know? What was I missing?

Chapter Nine

 

              A few cars were parked outside when I got back to Rush’s after work. At least I wouldn’t catch him having sex. Now that I knew how good his kisses were and how nice it felt to have his hands on me, I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him doing that to someone else. It was ridiculous. But it was true.

              I opened the door and stepped inside. Sexy music was playing loudly over the sound system that was piped into every room. Well, every room but mine. I started to the kitchen when I heard a female moaning. My stomach knotted up. I tried to ignore it but my feet had firmly planted themselves on the marble floor. I couldn’t move.

              “Yes, Rush, baby, just like that. Harder. Suck it harder,” she cried out. I was instantly jealous and that just made me mad. I shouldn’t care. He had kissed me once and been so disgusted he’d cursed and taken off running.

              I was moving toward the sound even thought I knew it was something I did not want to see. It was like a train wreck. I couldn’t not go see it even if I didn’t want it seared into my brain.

              “Mmmmm yes, please touch me,” she begged. I cringed but I kept moving in that direction. Stepping into the living room, I found them on the couch. Her top was completely off and one of her nipples was in his mouth as his hand played between her legs. I couldn’t watch this. I needed to get out of here. Now.

              Spinning around, I hurried for the front door, not caring if I was quiet or not. I’d be in my truck and out of the driveway before either of them calmed down enough to realize they’d been seen. He had been going at it right there on the couch for anyone to walk in and see. He had known I would be home any moment. The fact was, he’d wanted me to see them. He was reminding me that he was something I could never experience. Right now, I never wanted to.

              I drove through town angry at myself for wasting gas. I needed to save my money. I searched for a pay phone but there wasn’t one to be found anywhere. The days of payphones were long gone. If you didn’t have a cellphone you were screwed. I wasn’t sure who I would call anyway. I could call Cain. I hadn’t spoken to him since I left last week. Normally we talked at least once a week. But without a phone we couldn’t do that.

              I had Grant’s number tucked away in my luggage. But then why would I call him? That would be odd. I really had nothing to say to him. I pulled over into the parking lot of the one and only coffee shop in town and parked the truck. I could go drink some coffee and look at magazines for a few hours. Maybe by then Rush would be done with his fuck fest downstairs.

              If he’d been trying to send me a message I had received it loud and clear. Not that I needed one. I’d already resigned myself to the fact that guys with money were not for me. I liked the idea of finding a good guy with a regular job. One that would appreciate my red dress and silver heels.

              I jumped down out of my truck and started toward the coffee shop when I saw Bethy inside with Jace. They were in a heated discussion at a table in the far back corner but I could see them through the window. At least she had brought him some place public. I would hope for the best with her and leave it alone. I wasn’t the girl’s mother. She was more than likely older than me. At least she looked older. She could make up her own mind who she wanted to waste her time with. The salty sea air tickled my nose. I crossed the street and headed to the public beach instead. I could be alone there.

              The waves crashing against the dark shore was soothing. So I walked. I remembered my mother. I even allowed myself to remember my sister; it was something I rarely did because the pain was too much at times. Tonight, I wanted that distraction. I needed to remember I’d suffered far worse than some stupid attraction to a guy that was absolutely not my type at all. I let memories of better days flood my thoughts… and I walked.

              When I pulled the truck back into Rush’s driveway it was after midnight and there were no cars outside. Whoever had been here was now gone. I closed the door to my truck and headed up the stairs. The front light was on making the house loom large and intimidating in the dark sky. Just like Rush.

              The door opened before I reached it and Rush stood there filling up the entry. He was here to tell me to leave. I was expecting this anyway. I didn’t even flinch. Instead, I looked around for my suitcase.

              “Where have you been?” he asked in a deep husky voice.

              I swung my gaze back to him. “What does it matter?”

              He took a step outside the door closing the small amount of space between us. “Because I was worried.”

              He was worried? I let out a sigh and tucked the hair that kept blowing in my face behind my ear. “I find that real hard to believe. You were too busy with your company for the night to notice much of anything.” I couldn’t keep the bitterness from dripping off my tongue.

              “You came in earlier than I expected. I didn’t mean for you to witness that.”

              Like that made it better. I nodded and shifted my feet. “I came home the same time I do every night. I think you wanted me to see you. Why, I’m not sure. I’m not harboring feelings for you, Rush. I just need a place to stay for a few more days. I’ll be moving out of your house and life real soon.”

              He muttered a curse then glared up at the sky a moment before looking back at me. “There are things about me you don’t know. I’m not one of those guys you can wrap around your finger. I have baggage. Lots of it. Too much for someone like you. I expected someone so different considering I’ve met your father. You’re nothing like him. You’re everything a guy like me should stay away from. Because I’m not right for you.”

              I let out a hard laugh. That was the worst excuse for his behavior I’d ever heard. “Really? That’s the best you’ve got? I never asked you for anything more than a room. I don’t expect you to want me. I never did. I am aware that you and I are in two different playing fields. Your league is one I will never measure up to. I’m not the right bloodlines. I wear cheap red dresses and I have a fond connection to a pair of silver heels because my mother wore them on her wedding day. I don’t need designer things. And YOU are designer, Rush.”

              Rush reached for my hand and pulled me inside. Without a word, he pushed me up against the wall and caged me in with both his hands pressed flat against the wall beside my head. “I’m not designer. Get that through your head. I can’t touch you. I want to so damn bad it hurts like a motherfucker but I can’t. I won’t mess you up. You’re… you’re perfect and untouched. And in the end you would never forgive me.”

              My heart pounded against my chest painfully. The sorrow in his eyes wasn’t something I had been able to see outside. In here I could see emotion in those silver depths. His forehead was creased as if something was hurting him.

              “What if I want you to touch me? Maybe I’m not so untouched. Maybe I’m already tainted.” My body was pretty much untouched but staring up into Rush’s eyes I wanted to ease his ache. I didn’t want him to stay away from me. I wanted to make him smile. That beautiful face shouldn’t look so haunted.

              He ran a finger down the side of my face and traced the curve of my ear then brushed his thumb over my chin. “I’ve been with a lot of girls, Blaire. Trust me, I’ve never met one as fucking perfect as you. The innocence in your eyes screams at me. I want to peel every inch of your clothing off and bury myself inside you but I can’t. You saw me tonight. I’m a screwed up sick bastard. I can’t touch you.”

              I had seen him tonight. I’d seen him the other night too. He screwed lots of girls, but me he didn’t want to touch. He thought I was too perfect. I was on a pedestal and he wanted to keep me there. Maybe he should. I couldn’t sleep with him and not give him a piece of my heart. He was already weaseling his way in. If I let him have my body he could hurt me in a way no one had ever been able to. My guard would be down.

              “Okay,” I said. I wasn’t going to argue. This was right. “Can we at least be friends? I don’t want you to hate me. I’d like to be friends.” I sounded pathetic. I was so lonely I’d stooped to begging for friends.

              He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll be your friend. I’ll try my damnedest to be your friend but I have to be careful. I can’t get too close. You make me want things I can’t have. That sweet little body of yours feels too incredible tucked underneath me,” he dropped his voice and lowered his mouth to my ear, “and the way you taste. It’s addictive. I dream about it. I fantasize about it. I know you’ll be just as delicious in… other… places.”

              I leaned into him and closed my eyes as his breathing grew heavy in my ear. “We can’t. Fuck me. We can’t. Friends, sweet Blaire. Just friends,” he whispered then pushed away from me and stalked toward the stairs. I leaned back against the wall and watched him walk away. I wasn’t ready to move just yet. My body was sizzling from his words and his closeness.

              “I don’t want you under those damn stairs. I hate it. But I can’t move you up here. I’ll never be able to stay away from you. I need you safely tucked away,” he said without looking back at me. His hands gripped the railing on the staircase until his knuckles turned white. He stood there one more minute before shoving himself off and running the rest of the way up the stairs. When I heard a door slam I sunk to the floor.

              “Oh, Rush. How are we going to do this? I need a distraction,” I whispered into the empty foyer. I needed to find someone else to focus on. Someone that wasn’t Rush. Someone that was available. It was the only way I was going to keep from falling too far. Rush was dangerous to my heart. If we were going to be friends then I needed to find someone else to focus my attention on. And fast.

Chapter Ten

              Darla had not been happy about my move to the dining room. She wanted me on the course. She also wanted me overseeing Bethy. According to Bethy she wasn’t seeing Jace anymore. She’d met him for coffee because he’d called her twenty times that afternoon. She told him if she was going to be his dirty little secret then it was over. He’d begged and pleaded but refused to acknowledge her to his circle of friends so she dumped him. I was so proud.

              Tomorrow was my day off and Bethy had already come looking for me to make sure we were still on for the honky-tonk. Of course we were. I needed a man, any man to get my thoughts off Rush.

              I followed around Jimmy around all day. He trained me. He was attractive, tall, charismatic and very gay. The members of the club didn’t know this though. He flirted with the women shamelessly. They ate it up. He would look back at me and wink when one would whisper naughty things in his ear. The guy was a playboy and a good one at that.

              Once his shift was over we headed back to the staff breakroom and hung up the long black aprons we had to wear over our uniform. “You’re going to be brilliant, Blaire. The men love you and the women are impressed by you. No offense sugar, but girls with hair as platinum blond as yours normally can’t walk a straight line without giggling.”

              I smiled at him. “Is that so? I take offense to that comment.”

              Jimmy rolled his eyes and reached out to pat my head. “No, you don’t. You know you’re one badass blond bombshell.”

              “Already making a move on the new server, Jim?” Woods’ familiar voice asked. Jimmy gave him a cocky grin.

              “You know better than that. I got a specific taste,” he let his voice drop to a sexy whisper as he trailed his eyes down Woods’ body.

              I glanced back at Woods who was scowling uncomfortably and I couldn’t help but laugh. Jimmy joined me. “Love making the straight boys squirm,” he whispered in my ear, then slapped my butt and walked out the door.

              Woods rolled his eyes and walked further into the room once Jimmy was gone. Apparently, he was aware of Jimmy’s sexual preference.

              “Did you enjoy your day?” he asked politely.

              I had enjoyed my day. Immensely. It was a much easier job than sweating it out in the heat dealing with leering old men all day.  “Yes. It was great. Thank you for making it possible for me to work in here.”

              Woods nodded. “You’re welcome. Now, how about we go celebrate your promotion with the best Mexican food on the coast?”

              He was asking me out again. I should go. He would be a distraction. He wasn’t exactly the working class type I was looking for but who said I was going to marry him and have his babies?

              An image of Rush flashed in my mind and the tortured expression he’d had last night. I couldn’t bring myself to date someone he knew. If he really meant what he said then I needed to keep his world at arm’s length. I didn’t belong in that world.

              “Can I take a rain check? I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m exhausted.”

              Woods’ face fell some but I knew he would have no problem finding someone to take my place.

              “There is a party tonight at Rush’s, but I guess you knew that,” Woods said, watching me closely for my reaction. I didn’t know about the party but then Rush never warned me about them.

              “I can sleep through it. I’ve gotten used to them.” That was a lie. I wouldn’t go to sleep until the last person stomped up the stairs.